Interesting topics for conversation with a girl. What to talk about with a friend on the phone. We start communication. Getting to know the girl better

Topics for conversation with a girl on 5+

Topics for conversation with a girl they are very diverse and there are a lot of them ... Everything comes with experience, you can talk with girls on any topic, but at the same time you don’t talk about how her girlfriend can otherwise send her to the DOD or put a tick in front of your last name - a nice guy, but this is not included in pickup plans! What to talk about with a girl or with a woman, it doesn't matter, the main thing is that it should be the most natural and spontaneous.

Whole list

Cinema

Do you often go to the cinema?
- What films do you like the most?
- What genre? For example, I like ...... (comedies) (then talk about the genre that she
like. Find out which films
- Do you often go alone or with friends?
- Have you ever gone to a night session? And on the night "non-stop"? (this is when you pay once, and
watch 3-4 movies all night)
- Have you ever noticed that when you go outside after a session, at first the surrounding
You perceive the world differently depending on the film. Have you ever had this? (If it was
then ask after what movie and how?)
Have you ever had a strong feeling after watching a movie? Which?

If you run out of topics to communicate with a girl- then this is already something serious, or it's nerves and you need to understand that girls are the same creatures and even more insidious, or you just don't have contact - she just cuts off any opportunity you have to hook her. And in the latter case, it may also be her joint, she is simply insane or inadequate for you, but she may be quite adequate for another guy, in this case it is better to just remain friends or go off ecologically.

Many themes here are not suitable for many girls, so choose your own taste and just have fun)

ATTENTION: when talking with a girl, do not talk about too primitive things, some especially smart thieves want to see the intellectual abilities of a young guy. Yes, and some mokroschelki also read these posts and fire).

Cafes, bars, discos

Do you often go to discos? where is the last time and why?
- Do you know why some girls go to cafes with their friends so often?
- Do you like sweets? ... For pleasure or to the detriment of the diet? :)
- Have you tried to cook something yourself from what you tried in a cafe?
- You know, very often girls sit in cafes and get bored. Sometimes it lasts more than one hour. What are they waiting for?
- Have you ever dynamite a guy? Well, just be honest;) (regardless of the answer “What a great fellow you are!
:)") Tell..

There are many questions here, but if you constantly ask them, she will feel like she is being interrogated, of course, you can also make a kind of frame out of them, but unfortunately this is not a leader frame. Questions must be asked so you can direct conversation with a girl in the direction you need, but you should not replay:


Parks, street, places of rest

Do you like to walk?
- What is your favorite weather? And why?
- Where do you like to walk the most?
- Have you ever walked in the rain?
- Do you often hang out with your friends?
- Have you ever walked around the city all night?
- Have you been to the zoo for a long time?
- Which place do you remember the most? Why?
- Do you like swimming? Do you bathe often? Where?

By the way, a girl and a guy can also talk about these topics and they are interested in this no less than men.

Relationship

Do you fall in love often?
- You are romantic? And what is the most?
- How do you feel about the fact that some people say that relationships can be bought with money?
Have you ever had an all night date?
What do you think is the toughest competition? Male or female? Why?
- Did you have competitors? Were they alive? :)
What do you like more, compliments or receiving them?
- And what do you consider worthy of a compliment in yourself? Well, except for a beautiful, intriguing look,
certainly;)

Someone may notice that there are many serious topics for talking with women, maybe so, that is, you also need to apply intuition. If you choose a serious girl, then she will willingly talk to you not only on these topics, but if you have a woman who is too frivolous, then the man will use tricks and games that are rarely associated with seriousness.

Common topics

Are you afraid of thunderstorms? What are you most afraid of?
- Do you have any collection. Well, fish, for example, or someone else? :)
- Do you have pets? The name of? Are you feeding? :)
- Have you been to the sea? What are the feelings, what did you like the most?
- What kind of music do you like the most? Do you listen often?
- What was your brightest moment in your life?
- Can you cook? And what works best?
- Can you play anything? (for a long time? what do you like the most?) Do you like to listen?
- Do you like sunbathing? Topless? ;)
- Do you remember your first love? Kindergarten or elementary school? / think whether it is possible to ask such a question? the answer is of course not!
- Do you have Brother or sister? Would you like to? (be alone)
- What's your favourite season? And what do you like the most about it?

Starting a conversation with a girl and charming her at the same time is a whole science. In this article we will talk about the techniques that every man should own.

Most likely, if you are interested in this topic, you are not very successful on the personal front. Communication with the weaker sex is not easy, and even more so, you have no idea what topics for a conversation with a girl can become the key to women's hearts.

List of interesting topics to talk to a girl

Your main task during a date is to create an atmosphere of fun and pleasant pastime. She needs to feel how comfortable it is to be around you.

Provoke her to positive emotions, cheer up, make her smile.

What can you talk about to put her in a good mood, you ask?

Here are some examples of conversation topics that work well with a woman:

  • travels;
  • vacation;
  • hobbies and hobbies.

You can start a conversation by simply asking what she likes to do in her free time (hobbies, music, sports, films, etc.), asking about pleasant impressions and plans.

Advice.focus all topics of conversation around her. Be curious and be a good listener. Show that you are really interested in her inner world and her as a person in general.

Ask more questions that require detailed answers, rather than a simple “yes” or “no”. Let her turn on her imagination, relive positive emotions.

What women like to talk about:

  1. Fresh gossip, talk about other people's relationships.
    Women love to talk about relationships. You can switch to it after discussing studies, work or politics. For example, a colleague who is in love with the boss, a minister of culture who is cheating on his wife, etc.
  2. Fashion or shopping.
    Ask her questions about clothes, why she chose this particular color, in which store she likes to dress. Women spend a lot of time on their appearance, it is important for them how they look.
  3. Mood.
    Tell her that she looks upset or, conversely, very cheerful. Find out the reasons.
  4. Film distribution news.
    From a conversation about films, you can go to a very large number of interesting topics. You choose. Ask her opinion about this or that hero, what she would do in his place, about the finale of the film, the dynamics of its development, etc.
  5. Books.
    First, specify what she reads more often: books or magazines. Magazines can suggest the topic of celebrities, relationships between a man and a woman. Who deceived whom, who slept with whom, who marries whom. The girls love it.
  6. Music.
    This is also a very interesting topic. But be careful not to ask a banal question: What kind of music do you listen to? , it's too boring. Better try to guess, something like: A girl like you should love rock.
  7. Hobbies, plans, travel.
    Try not only to listen to her, but also to open up yourself. When we talk about what we like, we share positive energy that attracts the interlocutor. If you feel that something has hooked her, go through this topic far and wide, study it thoroughly. Obviously, this will make you ultra attractive in her eyes. It is better to start this conversation towards the end of the date in order to say goodbye on a great note and leave a slight hint of a promising continuation of the relationship after your departure.

As you guessed, there are those topics of conversation that are best avoided in a conversation with a girl.

Do not talk about the bad, about too serious (about suffering, about world problems, bad ecology), nothing global. It's as stupid as shooting yourself in the foot...

Let's draw a line, under the ban remain:

  • politics;
  • religion;
  • death;
  • too serious or too sad stories.

Discussion is, first of all, the exchange of information

Here are 4 tips that will help you in trying to turn a girl's head on a date:

  1. The best stories about yourself. Tell her something that will allow her to see you as an extremely reliable person who can be relied upon to protect her and take care of her. Mention, for example, your sister or girlfriend: This weekend I went to the cinema with my younger sister or Yesterday we celebrated my girlfriend's birthday. This will create the illusion of an active lifestyle, and most importantly, it will show that you have many acquaintances of the opposite sex, and they appreciate you very much. So, there is something in you, and there is reason to take a closer look.
  2. Stories about travel and joint leisure with friends. It's better not to stoop to primitive style stories. Last summer I went to Italy. Answer with a question: Have you been to Milan? Feel free to mention events that highlight your hobby, of course, if it's worth it.
  3. Demonstration of a rich inner world and social significance. During the first dates, it is important for you to show what an interesting person you are. For example, if a girl says that she went to such and such an exhibition, throw it casually that your friend has also been there. If she says she's into classical dancing, mention your friend again with the same fascination.
  4. Avoiding boring conversations. Does the conversation reach a dead end or become secularly boring? There is a method of technical disagreement. Everything is simple. If you start to openly contradict her, in 99% of cases she will start arguing, defending her point of view. If you always and everywhere agree with her, the conversation will quickly lose its original ardor and come to naught.

Attention.Do not overdo it, the dispute can quickly turn into a quarrel, and this meeting is needed only to just have a good time together.

Here is a list of topics where you can easily contradict a girl without conflicting with her:

  • who is right, boy or girl;
  • or a friend;
  • a movie character she likes but you don't like.

If she gets too carried away and talks more than you, that's even good. She participates in the conversation. And yes, you got her.

So, you have all the cards in your hands in seducing girls. Down with fears, be yourself, and then everything will definitely work out.

  • What to talk about with a guy?
  • 7 Tips to Improve Communication Skills

Life constantly confronts us with new people and the need to seekconversation topics,whether it's spending time with fellow travelers on the train or a first date. But what if you do not have oratory talent? How to start a conversation if there is a ringing emptiness in your head, and the only desire in your heart is to sink through the ground from awkwardness?

It is enviable to look at those who can easily get into a conversation with a saleswoman in a store or a neighbor in a trolley bus. Such people always have a lot of acquaintances, they do not need to be tormented by the question: what to do when bored ? They will always find entertainment in the form of a pleasant conversation, they are happy to see them at parties and events. This is such an innate talent - modest silent people think sadly. But learning to communicate spontaneously is not that difficult, and today we will tell you how to do it.

Interesting topics for conversation

There are a number of topics that are relevant always and everywhere, because they bring people together. We live under the same sky, so we can talk to the first person we meet about the weather. Everyone works somewhere and is fond of something, so everyone is interested in talking about their favorite pastime. We used to be children, we fell in love, we watched movies... Any phenomenon of our life can be used as the basis for a lively conversation.

The most top topics for conversation it:

The topics described above are not a "panacea", and will not necessarily make a new acquaintance want to continue the conversation. There are people who are allergic to sports or who consider the issue of finances purely personal. But by asking at random a few leading questions on each of the topics, you can find the one that is closest to the interlocutor. Yes, and a person usually shows what he is interested in and what is not.

What to talk about with a guy?

This and the next section deal mainly with the beginning of a romantic relationship, because the conversation between two old acquaintances starts by itself. But for a guy, in order not to fall out of shame on a first date with a girl, it is important to be able to find an interesting topic for dialogue. Of course, a lady should show herself from the best side, be able to listen, keep up the conversation, not ask unnecessary or stupid questions.

What can you talk about with a guyin order to have a good time, and show yourself in the right light, and get to know him better as a person? Alternate the general topics above (movies, travel, world news) with personal ones that your young man can open up to. Knowing how good relations he has with his relatives, you can understand how a hypothetical spouse will build relationships in his family. Work and hobbies clearly demonstrate the personal qualities of a person. You can also ask what kind of girls he likes, how he sees his future relationship.

Many girls (and guys too) ask about exes to draw a parallel. The logic is simple: what was in the past relationship will be the same in the current. But this is a bad way. First, people tend to draw conclusions from their mistakes (though not always). Secondly, it is tactless to ask such questions. And thirdly, this is a good opportunity to turn into a vest, and then into a girl playing the role of a best friend. Why do you need it?

Questions for a guy on a first date

  • Do you love books? What are you reading now?
  • Do you go to any events? Concerts, exhibitions, festivals?
  • What kind of music do you like?
  • Do you like walking in nature?
  • What season and weather do you like the most?
  • Do you like our city? Would you like to live there forever or do you dream of moving?
  • How do you see your future?
  • What exotic dishes do you like?
  • Do you have brothers, sisters? Do you see each other often?
  • What was your childhood dream?

Topics for conversation with a girl

The main fear that torments girls is to be interesting only as a sexual object, to be used and abandoned. To calm the interlocutor and show that, first of all, personality is important in her, you need to be tactful.Read how to compliment a girl , not to get the opposite effect.

The more attention you pay to the spiritual and intellectual qualities of the interlocutor, the greater will be her gratitude and sincerity. Saying with a sly wink, “You probably ate a lot of cabbage as a child,” the guy is already dotting the e: “I’m only interested in your body and its parameters.”

What can you talk about with a girlso that she feels in the interlocutor both an interesting man and a delicate friend? Many questions have already been raised above, including the previous section. Talking about books and music is essentially universal. They can be asked to representatives of both sexes, so we will not duplicate them. But there are also questions that reveal the character of the girl well.

Questions for a girl on a first date

  • What do you do in the evenings?
  • How do you spend your holidays?
  • Are you interested in charity?
  • Do you love shopping? Do you often go shopping?
  • What should be your man?
  • How do you feel about feminists?
  • Do you have many girlfriends? What do you do when you see each other?
  • Do you like night clubs?

For a woman, conversation is one of the most important factors in interacting with a man. Sociologists conducted an interesting experiment. A group of women went to a session of male striptease. During the incendiary action, indicators responsible for emotional arousal were measured: pulse, respiration, pressure, brain activity. All the ladies tested admitted that they perceived what they saw only as an object of art, a beautiful dance. The same cool reaction was recorded by the instruments.

But when the guys got dressed and moved on to the conversation, all the indicators of the subjects jumped up. The women were clearly more excited by the conversation than by the sight of the naked male body. It turns out that girls really love with their ears!

Dangerous topics: how not to spoil the conversation?

There are topics that are best left untouched or raised with caution.

For example, religious and political views are a good reason to fight. There are many parties and religions in the world, and the ideologies of many of them are diametrically opposed to each other.

Health is an intimate topic. Diseases are "indecent", they are not accepted to talk about in society. For example, hemorrhoids or cystitis. Therefore, asking direct questions about health is the same as playing sapper. The chance to hurt a person for the living is very high. Yes, and talking about their illnesses, complaining is also a bad tone.

Do not ask tactless questions regarding family and personal life. If a thirty-year-old woman says that she does not have children, then you should not ask: “Why?”. And to try to find out the girl's age - God forbid!

There are unwritten communication etiquette rules . Their knowledge facilitates the process of communication, makes it more interesting and even, strange as it sounds, safer. Also, tips on how to improve your communication skills will not be superfluous.

Tip 1. Fill Yourself With New Information , knowledge, experience. Only a filled person can tell about something interesting: he reads books, travels, observes people and events. And what can the poor fellow, who has never been anywhere and is not interested in anything, tell?

- Went to work. Had dinner. Came here. Sitting. Look at you…

Tip 2. Don't teach others about life . It's nice to seem smart, but if you're not an expert in this field, then why give unsolicited advice?

Tip 3. Don't "yak" and do not show your superiority to others. There are characters who have achieved a little more than nothing in life, and already every word they beat their chest: “Yes, here I am!” And they look at everyone as if they were flawed, and they hear only themselves, and no one else is interesting to them. Don't be like that.

Tip 4: Don't turn the conversation into an interrogation . All of the above questions should not sound like the interlocutor is at a psychologist's appointment. It is better to “wrap” them in context, as in a wrapper. You can even not frame them as questions, but voice some interesting fact on the topic and see if the interlocutor picks up the thread. For example, instead of a direct question about shopping, neutrally remark: “Dressing beautifully is probably not easy. You need to constantly go shopping, look for promotions and discounts ... "

Tip 5. Don't be a one-man theater . We are told long and hard that a good interlocutor is one who knows how to listen competently. But all the same, there are a lot of people around who need a second person only as “free ears”. This role is not pleasant to anyone, so it is better not to forget to make long pauses in the monologue.

Tip 6: Don't Use Negative Labels . It may turn out that in front of you is just the carrier of such a "label".

- Oh, these lawyers are such charlatans!

- By the way, I'm a lawyer, and you're wrong!

Well, everyone but you...

Tip 7. Say nice things to the person about him, praise. Everyone loves to be praised. The main thing is not to cross the border of gross flattery and notice only the features that really aroused your respect or admiration.

Being able to keep up a conversation is a useful quality. It makes life more interesting and enjoyable. From the first date, when two kindred souls recognize each other during the conversation, a happy marriage may be concluded in the future. Many important deals are made at society parties during "talk about nothing." What can I say, most conflict situations can be extinguished by the ability to direct the conversation in a constructive direction.

It is easier for a person who is open to communication, because he has a hundred friends, and they are much better than a hundred rubles. However, one does not interfere with the other!

Develop your communication skills, suggest interesting topics for conversation, and you will never have an awkward long silence!

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Every guy, going on a first date, asks himself the question - what to talk about with a girl? If you have problems communicating with the female gender, and there are ridiculous pauses in the process, this article will put everything in its place.

7 topics for communication with a girl

It happened. You decided to approach the girl, get to know each other, start a conversation. What should be talked about, and what is better to be silent about? After all, the first minutes of communication are very important.

Below 7 best themes to chat with a girl.

  1. Hobbies. Unbeatable theme. Gone are the days when only the fair sex preferred knitting or cooking. Hydroponics, origami, esotericism, photography, design, drawing, fitness. You can talk about hobbies for hours.
  2. Cloth. You can ask what style of clothing she prefers. How do you think a man should dress? If a girl is an ardent fan of shopping, you will only have to listen carefully to your interlocutor and admire her refined taste.
  3. Holidays. Halloween, Valentine's Day, New Year or Birthday. What holidays does she like best? Be sure you will hear some funny things that happened in her life at the festive events. This is a great time to tell a couple of such stories yourself. Just do not need stories in which you got drunk and behaved inappropriately - girls do not like this and will not appreciate it.
  4. Children. You can talk about children, talk about your nephew or younger sister. Yes, you can remember your childhood. The future keeper of the hearth will appreciate your love for children. This is another plus for you and a powerful impulse to start a relationship.
  5. Pets. What pets did or does your interlocutor have? She will definitely share funny stories about her pet with you. If not, you can take the initiative into your own hands. Naturally, all stories should be prepared in advance, and laid out in a humorous style. During communication, try to make the girl laugh more often. If she laughs a lot, it means she likes your stories.
  6. Travels. Surely your new friend managed to visit exotic hot resorts. Or is she a bright fan of an extreme type of recreation or a lover of mountain hiking? Be sure to ask about it. It will be great if your preferences match.
  7. Cooking. Does the girl have little time to devote herself to some kind of hobby, and she is experimenting on the culinary front? Not a bad topic for conversation. Surely you will make her laugh with a story about your “last experience” in cooking soup or meatballs.

Humor at the beginning of a relationship is key. In no case do not talk about your problems and accidents, it will only push her away. Better come up with funny jokes in advance, she will definitely appreciate it.

What not to talk about with a girl

There are topics on which you should not communicate with a girl. She can easily write you down as a friend, and completely lose any interest in the interlocutor. What is not desirable to talk about with a lady of the heart on first dates?

  1. Former girls. You should never talk about your ex. Negative or positive colors will dominate your narrative, which in any case will not please any woman.
  2. Health. Complaining about health problems and turning into a whiner is a bad idea. Most likely, you will not see your interlocutor again.
  3. Life problems. A woman sees a earner in a man who is easily ready to solve any troubles. Complaining about bad work, lack of money, other life problems, you will alienate any interlocutor from yourself.
  4. Sports, cars. Perhaps you are lucky and the girl is an avid motorist or a football fan. But in 95% of cases, ladies are not fond of sports, and will be bored when trying to tell them about the last match of the national football team or about the latest domestic auto industry.

In this video, Vasily will conduct a short video lesson on the secrets of communicating with the opposite sex, and will give some excellent recommendations:

How to interest a girl on the street

The street is one of the most difficult places to meet a girl. Surely every day you meet more than one beauty with whom you would like to start a conversation. But how to do it right?

  • How to approach? You need to approach a little from the side. Do not try to block her path or appear from behind - this can only scare the girl.
  • Appearance. You don't have to look like Brad Pitt to pass face control. All you need is to look good. Clean shoes and clothes, neat nails, well-groomed hands, a neat haircut will do their job.
  • We attract interest. A win-win option is to ask where some object is and how to get there. It's not bad if a girl needs help, and you will come to her rescue. All this will look “random” and unobtrusive. At least it’s not the banal “What’s your name?”, “Does your mother need a son-in-law?” or "Let's get to know each other!".

Chatting in Internet

Shy guys do not dare to approach the object of interest to him on the street. According to statistics, about 75% of girls are likely to refuse communication. Social networks and dating sites come to the rescue, where during a conversation you can pause for a minute thinking about the next question or answer.

Advantageonline- communication:

Proper Communication

Girls evaluate a stranger not only by clothes and attractive appearance, but also by the manner of communication.

  • Politeness. When meeting, you need to keep a distance, do not immediately switch to “you”.
  • courtesy. If a girl does not make contact, well, you need to turn into an ill-mannered boor.
  • Honesty. In any situation, you need to remain yourself, and not invent non-existent virtues for yourself.
  • Smile. A smile can do wonders. Even if a girl is in a hurry on business, she will definitely give you a chance.
  • The ability to listen. The ability to listen to others is one of the most important rules for successful communication with the fairer sex.

Conversation and non-verbal cues

Incorrectly, many people think that the first contact begins with the first conversation. The first acquaintance between a man and a woman begins with a glance. By the way, knowledge of the basics of body language (non-verbal cues ) will never let a guy get burned when meeting a lady.

  • Sight. An interested look lasts at least 5 seconds. At the same time, the woman looks not only at the man's face, but sinks lower - at the intimate zones.
  • Facial expression. A light, relaxed, as if inviting smile will give a signal to action to any man.
  • Items. Playing with objects during a conversation, such as jewelry, suggests that the interlocutor is interested in you.
  • Hair. The most "serious weapon" of the girl. Playing with the ends of the hair, the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity are trying to draw attention to themselves.

Correct and confident speech.

An important factor in successful communication will be correct and beautiful speech. You do not need to have the charisma of a speaker, but your strong qualities in a conversation will be:

Now you know what to talk about with a girl and how to properly maintain an interesting conversation. The most important thing is to be yourself, and everything will definitely work out. Always remember - it's not that hard to start a conversation with a girl you don't know.

Video: what to talk about with a girl

Acquaintance or conversation with a girl for shy guys is a serious challenge. In their case, we are not talking about the usual light jitters, but about a real tsunami of fear and excitement. Sean Cooper, a man who got rid of shyness on his own, is sure that all these troubles are surmountable. Below are some of his suggestions for helping you fight shyness and make conversation more relaxed.

3 reasons to be afraid of girls

1. Feelings of inadequacy

The mere sight of an attractive woman makes you nervous, and the thought of approaching her makes you terrified. Why? Because you consider yourself unworthy of this beauty. Remember women whose appearance is far from your ideal. Surely their company causes less discomfort.

The point is that men draw too far-reaching conclusions, based only on the external data of a woman. But imagine: suddenly she is stupid? Or does she have no sense of humor at all? Or do you just have nothing in common? You do not yet know this person, but you are already sure of her magnificence (and your inadequacy to him).

As a result, the feeling of your own inferiority deprives you of confidence and prevents you from expressing your individuality.

Advice: remember that appearance speaks more about genes than personality. So do not rush to deify a stranger and send yourself to the list of unworthy ones. Better find out in practice what kind of person she is.

2. Obsession and unrealistic fantasies

Shy guys tend to choose one girl as the object of their dreams. Only a couple of short conversations or smiles can connect with a beautiful person: this is enough for a shy person to imagine a joint future in all details. What happens in the end? The guy is so overworked that when it comes to taking decisive action, he gets lost under the weight of high expectations.

You thought about her for so long and turned her into such a perfect being that you were paralyzed with fear.

Sean Cooper

Another option for the development of the scenario: you finally dare to invite her on a date, but after three minutes of conversation you realize that she is not at all the beautiful lady from your head. And on the basis of a three-minute communication, you decide to retreat, without really knowing the girl for real.

Advice: say "stop" to empty fantasies and channel your energy into communication. Well, remember that there are many cute and interesting girls in the world. You definitely shouldn't get hung up on one with which you are almost unfamiliar.

3. Procrastination

Guys who suffer from shyness or have little relationship experience can wait a long time for a conversation, a touch, a first kiss. But the longer they wait and the more they think about it, the stronger the fear becomes.

Advice: act impulsively. All thoughts that appear after the first impulse are aimed at dissuading you from the act. In the end, it is better to do and regret than not to do and regret.

How to talk to a girl

1. Get the conversation right

Cooper mentions the method of chain messages. Surely you have already used this technique, but perhaps not quite right.

Its essence is as follows ... Any, even the most insignificant information becomes the starting point. Then a clarifying question is asked. Based on the answer to this question, the following replica is built. And further along the knurled.

Example of a failed conversation:

A: Hey! Where are you from?

V: From Chelyabinsk.

A: Oh, and what are you doing there?

V: Working.

A: Where, if not a secret?

V: At the factory.

A: And by whom?

V: Miller, *&%+#!

A's mistake is that he approached the conversation too formally. As a result, he came down to a banal enumeration of facts, from which the milling operator V.

Tip: bet on emotions, not boring data.

Conversation Map Exercise

Take a blank sheet of paper. In the middle, write a word that can start a conversation or that you often hear from girls. Now draw the rays that move away from it. They will be the lines of conversation. Formulate them as statements or as questions. The main thing is that they relate to emotions and values. The more directions you come up with, the better.

Example:

  • Initial word: psychologist.
  • Branch-emotion: how do you feel when you get into such a close relationship with different people?
  • Branch-value: you are probably a very caring person if you chose this profession.

Sudden pauses in conversation, Cooper says, are normal. It is not normal that you feel awkward and uncomfortable about them. It is with these feelings that you need to fight.

The first thing to do is to realize that you are not a toastmaster, but an accomplice in the conversation. No need to blame yourself for not being able to immediately react and figure out how to continue the conversation. This will only increase the stupor.

The second rule is to stay relaxed. If you are nervous about silence, then it automatically becomes awkward.

The third rule (and hint) is the natural continuation of the conversation. Situational comments can help here. The essence of the method is to pay attention to what is happening in the outside world, and not to frantically try to find a topic in the head (which becomes completely empty due to stress).

When you are relaxed and not fixated on the inner search, the dialogue ceases to be forced.

3. Learn to talk about nothing

Another problem for many shy people is that they believe that every conversation should be meaningful. At the same time, conversations are constantly taking place around, the content of which many instantly forget.

These are annoying or bewildering, and their participants may seem simply narrow-minded. Nevertheless, these people have no difficulty in initiating contact and receive their dose of social interaction. And this is something they should learn from.

Where to begin? Stop thinking and allow yourself to be spontaneous. Be in the present moment, not caring about what you said 10 seconds ago or what you have to say 10 seconds from now.

Trust your brain, and don't try to squeeze all the juice out of it. In fact, this is a powerful device with a decent amount of information. You just need to let him do his job.

4. But just in case, have a list of topics

Prepared topics are like a cheat sheet: you don't have to use it, but you feel more confident with it. The circle of topics that you can talk about with a girl does not need to be kept in your head all the time. It is enough to outline it and leave it on the periphery of consciousness: if something goes wrong, you can always use it.

Sean Cooper suggests nine areas from which to draw ideas for conversation:

  1. Hobby.
  2. Work, study.
  3. Travels.
  4. Entertainment.
  5. Food, cooking.
  6. past experience.
  7. Observations on the present (situational comments).
  8. Plans for the future.
  9. Human relationships.

As a practice, you can come up with five example topics for each of these areas.

Another option is to talk about what you really know a lot about and try to interest the interlocutor in this. In your field, you will feel more confident and will be able to open up.

Another alternative is to let the girl talk about what she understands, but at the same time remain genuinely passionate about the topic. Genuine interest is always felt. And attracts.

Of course, you should not follow all the advice at once. Try one technique, then another, see in practice in which situations they work best, or choose the one that is more to your liking.