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Women's crisis center hotline. Domestic violence - what to do? III stage. Reconciliation

Domestic violence is not uncommon these days. Such a threat can be emotional, psychological, physical. These are repeated violent actions by one person in order to control, intimidate, inspire his victim.

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is deliberate coercion, or the action of one person over another, the rapist does not take into account the will and interests of the victim. Such pressure ends in bodily injury, emotional trauma, developmental deviation, damage. The main difference between such pressure is that it is committed between close people who are related.

Domestic violence can take many different forms. Often, boys are subjected to sexual, physical aggression. Elderly, vulnerable family members are subject to pressure. There are times when wives commit violent acts against their husbands. But according to the above statistics, over 70% of the victims are women and girls.

Where does domestic violence start?

Domestic violence differs from the usual one in systematically repeated actions, cyclicality:

  1. Rising tension. The rapist gets annoyed with or without. Such tension is denied by both the injured party and the perpetrator, justifying what is happening with stress, trouble at work, or feeling unwell. Gradually, the victim tries to relieve tension, to please the partner. Even if she manages to relieve tension for a while, after a while it grows again with even greater force. This stage of pressure can last for months, or develop into a stage of active violence in a few days.
  2. Active domestic violence. The rapist is looking for a way out of the accumulated tension. Violent acts are committed without outsiders and can take several minutes or several hours in time. Regardless of the form of pressure, it is always accompanied by insult and humiliation. It is not uncommon for a perpetrator to blame the victim for their actions. Neither the perpetrator nor the victim no longer deny the fact of the abuse, but they downplay the severity of the abuse.
  3. Repentance. This period is accompanied by a temporary respite, remorse, relative calm. The offender, by any means and means, atones for his guilt, inspiring the victim to believe in a better future. The victim is given the illusion that domestic violence in the family will disappear. Although the offender continues to blame the victim and prove the fact that it was she who provoked him to such actions.

The last stage does not last long, soon everything repeats in a vicious circle. If everything is left as it is, if the victim stops resisting what is happening, the stage of repentance may disappear. Regular violence against women gradually worsens the physical, the victims, which causes the need to leave. But often on the way there are a number of reasons that prevent you from changing the situation and leaving the offender. This is the fear of being left without funds, losing housing, children. It happens that the relatives themselves convince the victim to stay with the rapist.

Psychological abuse

The psychological rapist has a sharp change of mood, inadequate jealousy, low self-control can be traced. He is able to take offense at even minor criticism. In a conversation, he often resorts to profanity, screams, threats. The psychological rapist swears unearthly love to his partner and immediately throws accusations of a spoiled mood in his direction.

Psychological violence against a person is accompanied by a number of signs:

  • constant criticism;
  • insults and humiliation;
  • hidden insults in the form of caustic nicknames, ridicule, contemptuous chuckles;
  • the desire to make the victim guilty;
  • open disregard;
  • silence;
  • blackmail;
  • compulsion to do bad things.

moral violence

Emotional pressure is the impact on the psyche, emotions of a partner by intimidation, threats of insults, criticism, condemnation. Moral domestic violence is expressed through dominance, which manifests itself:

  • a ban on communication;
  • surveillance;
  • permanent presence;
  • restriction on contact with the outside world;
  • assigning the role of a breadwinner;
  • sexual abstinence.

Also, emotional abuse can be expressed through a form of manipulation. The purpose of such pressure is to subordinate the feelings and actions of the victim to their personal beliefs. Signs of such emotional pressure are extremely difficult to recognize, since the actions of the rapist are secretive, fully conscious. But some characteristics can help identify and prevent bullying in time:

  • bragging, when the husband extols his qualities, achievements over those of his wife;
  • provocation for the slightest oversight;
  • the flattery of the wife so that she begins to praise her husband;
  • lying, withholding specific information in order to make the victim worry, to do something for the sake of the truth.

Physical violence

Physical violence in the family is manifested by beatings, bodily harm, torture, which negatively affects the health of the victim. At the same time, such tyranny can manifest itself as minor beatings, as well as murder. Physical pressure is based on dominance, aggression, so it has a gender orientation. Many women perceive such actions on the part of their husband as normal. If domestic physical abuse is manifested against children, in the future they become cruel towards others.

Why does a husband beat his wife - psychology?

There are two types of men capable of raising a hand against women:

  • those who themselves awaken rage in themselves, calling and humiliating their wives, awakening even greater anger in themselves;
  • those who are naturally cold-blooded and capable of beating their wife half to death without regret.

Based on this, psychologists identify a number of reasons why a husband beats his wife:

  • provocation by a woman;
  • genetic predisposition;
  • alcoholism;
  • , self-affirmation in the family;
  • trouble-free childhood, when all the boy's desires were fulfilled from the first word "I want".

What to do if the husband beats?

Psychologists advise to analyze the current situation, to find out the reason why the husband beats. Not always the cruelty of a man arises from nothing. Try to have a calm conversation with your spouse. If the conversation does not solve the problem, try contacting a family psychologist. If you want to save your family, remember that love will not help you re-educate a person, only a psychologist with the help of psychotherapeutic correction of your husband can eradicate domestic violence.


Domestic violence - what to do?

Psychologists recommend breaking off relations with a person if there is violence in the family. But not every woman is ready to change her life, to leave her tyrant spouse. Do not try to justify the actions of your husband, do not respond to requests to return, do not believe the promises of a better future. Otherwise, in a few days you will regret that you did not find the strength to change your life.

Each of us at least once, but heard the phrase "My home is my fortress!". But, unfortunately, not everyone is given to consider their home as a fortress. Increasingly, another phrase began to flash in our lives, a terrible phrase that is fraught with great pain for those who not only had to face it by hearsay, it is - domestic violence.

Term "domestic violence" defines violence by one of the close people (relative) in relation to another, most often, this applies to married couples. It can be expressed both physically, psychologically, sexually, and economically. Often such violence is accompanied by violence against children. Today we will take a closer look at violence between married couples.

According to sociological data, the nature of domestic violence based on gender is more biased towards violence by men against women. And the famous phrase "Beats - it means loves!" long since lost its relevance. So what actions on the part of the husband (man) indicate domestic violence, and what can a woman do in this situation?

The woman is subjected to:

Physical abuse- direct or indirect impact, with the aim of causing physical harm: mutilation, grievous bodily harm, kicks, beatings, slaps, etc. This also includes corporal punishment for misconduct, failure to provide first aid, a ban on hygiene procedures (refusal to shower or toilet), coercion to use drugs or alcohol.

Sexual abuse- any coercive act of a sexual nature.

Psychological- humiliation, insult, blackmail, limiting the circle of contacts, etc.

economic violence- experiences control over the financial resources of the family, extortion, a ban on education or employment.

All these actions fully describe domestic violence, and in this situation the woman must protect herself. What can and should be done? Unfortunately, in Russia there is no separate law on the prevention of domestic violence. The state does not have the right to interfere in the private intra-family life at the stage before the commission of illegal actions in order to prevent them. And as you know, impunity is the main factor in the commission of violent acts. About 95% of cases of violence are repetitive. However, there are ways to deal with domestic violence. The most important thing is not to be afraid of the "victim" to ask for help.

So, if the husband beats - where to go and what to do?

The very first thing a woman should do is to apply personally to the police with a statement in two copies about the fact of committing violent acts or their direct threat. It is advisable to attach a certificate from a medical institution on beatings. A copy of the application and the notification coupon, which the police officer must issue, must be kept with you. The following articles are most often used in situations of domestic violence:

  • 111. Intentional infliction of severe bodily harm.
  • 112. Deliberate infliction of moderate harm to health.
  • 115. Intentional infliction of minor bodily harm.
  • 116. Beating.
  • 117. Torture.
  • 119. Threat to kill or inflict grievous bodily harm.

Then, an official warning will be issued to the spouse, he will be registered and an appropriate card will be created. Naturally, in this situation, staying close to the "tyrant" becomes even more dangerous, so a woman needs to make sure in advance - find a safe place to live, collect important documents, if possible, money, clothes, medicines. If there are no relatives who could help, you can contact specialized crisis centers for victims of domestic violence. There is an option to bypass the step with the police and immediately go to the court at the place of residence, moreover, you can not tell your new address. This practice exists, and the investigator, at the request of the woman, will not enter this data into the protocol.

How to get a certificate of abuse

First of all, if bodily injuries have taken place, the woman should fix them by contacting the emergency room. The doctor must describe in detail in the certificate the size, color, location and severity of each of the injuries. After that, the woman will be issued a certificate. Be sure to check whether the date of the examination is correct, whether the name of the doctor is indicated and whether the seal of the institution is worth it. It is also the duty of the doctor to transfer information about the beatings to the district police department, whose employees must send the woman for a forensic medical examination. The presentation of the results of which should also be carefully checked, because the article that the husband will receive will depend on this examination.

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 8 minutes

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In the case of domestic violence, a woman experiences enormous stress, which includes both fear of her husband and fear of publicity about what happened. In this situation, you need to know how a woman can apply, defending her rights, honor, freedom, as well as which services to contact and where to look for help.

Unfortunately, our Criminal Code does not shine with perfection. It is very difficult to protect a wife from her own husband, because this situation is considered family conflict in which the police often do not intervene. “He will start running after you with an ax, then call” - something like this is usually answered by women who seek protection from their spouses. As a result, the situation often gets out of control, ending in a scenario that we will not talk about. Sometimes it takes so much time, effort and money to punish a husband that a woman has no choice but to continue to endure or simply run away “into the night”.

But there are still levers of legal protection for women victims of domestic violence. - we will talk about them below. Important - to the victim of violence don't be afraid to ask for help , realizing once and for all that after the first case of physical violence, more and more blows would follow her.

So, if the husband beats - where to go and what to do?

Contacting the police and court

To begin with, you should not call, but apply in person to the police (2 copies), indicating the fact of violence or its direct threat, and with certificates from medical institutions about beatings. Do not forget to take the notification coupon from the police officer and hide it away along with a copy of the application. A tyrant spouse is subject to civil, administrative and criminal liability.

Articles that are most often applied in cases of domestic violence:

  • Article 111. Intentional infliction of serious bodily harm.
  • Article 112. Intentional infliction of moderate bodily harm.
  • Article 115. Intentional infliction of minor bodily harm.
  • Article 116. Beatings.
  • Article 117 Torture.
  • Article 119. Threats to kill or cause grievous bodily harm.

What happens next? Spouse issued a formal warning , after which it is registered and the corresponding card is entered. If the husband changes his place of residence, the card will “move” to a new place of residence. Reasons for liquidating the card: expiration of the prescribed period (one year), imprisonment of the husband or his death, absence (more than 1 year) at the place of residence or statement from the spouse that the husband has "reformed" . Of course, if you take such a step, staying with your husband is simply dangerous. Therefore, it is best to apply, already finding a safe place to live .

You can go straight to court without going through the police.(of course, at the place of residence). Moreover, you can not report your new address by asking the investigator for your data in the protocol is not taken into account . This practice also applies, and you have a right to it.

Contacting medical institutions

If bodily injury occurs as a result of the actions of a spouse, then should fix them b:

  • Contact the emergency room explaining to the doctor the cause of the injury. Be sure to have your doctor describe the size, location, and color of each injury.
  • Take a certificate after inspection with the date of treatment, medical card number, full name of the doctor and the seal of the institution.
  • If the traces appeared only after you had already gone to the emergency room, revisit and fix them .
  • The doctor is obliged to transfer information about injuries due to beatings to the police department . Police officers, in turn, are obliged, after a telephone message, to conduct an inspection and give you a referral for a forensic medical examination. There, too, you need to make sure that everything is recorded as it should be. The qualification of the husband's actions will depend on the results of this examination (article).
  • Do not forget to take pictures of all traces of beatings yourself in order to later attach them to the case. And leave copies of the negatives in a separate place.
  • Gather Evidence – Involve Witnesses who will be able to prove the fact of beatings and aggressive behavior of the husband (at least 3 episodes in which they were present).

Most hopeless situations seem so only at first glance. The burden of problems, misfortune, mental and physical pain paralyzes thinking and does not allow a sober assessment of the situation and making such a necessary, only correct and saving decision. If it is difficult for you and it seems that the whole world around is collapsing, find strength and call the right phone!

You do not have to name yourself, make excuses, choose words, listen to reproaches and lectures. At the other end of the wire, your call is always waiting, ready to understand and provide real help. Can you help over the phone? Absolutely yes! And the experience of many years of work of all-Russian and Moscow helplines confirms this. The possibilities of helplines extend much wider than discussing a difficult situation in your personal life, sympathy for your trouble or words of support. The line employs professional psychologists and psychotherapists, narcologists, lawyers, social workers who know how to solve such problems, can soberly assess the situation and offer you possible options.

Often, employees of the helpline service help solve the problem of temporary housing, return the child to the family, and get a referral for free addiction treatment. The telephone assistance of a lawyer or a police officer is invaluable in the event that you are afraid to contact the relevant authorities in person. After all, most of the hotlines are anonymous.

Here we provide helplines and hotlines available to residents of Moscow, with a description of their working hours and areas of activity. We hope they will help you find a way out of a difficult situation! Remember that a hotline is a telephone number primarily set up to collect or communicate information about, for example, the quality or types of medical services or incidents. If you need psychological help or a solution in a non-standard situation, it is better to call the helplines.