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“If you want to”: Mikhail Labkovsky about our true desires. Mikhail Labkovsky - about me

The Direct Speech lecture hall begins a series of events in 2016 and in January invites the family psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky, one of the most demanded and expensive specialists in Moscow, to lectures and consultations.

Many of you may have listened to his programs on radio "Echo of Moscow" or read texts in "Snob", and on January 30 and 31 all Londoners will have the opportunity to listen to Labkovsky personally and ask questions. It is also possible to sign up for a personal consultation with him. Topics of Michael's London speeches:.

Especially for the Russian Gap, Mikhail Labkovsky wrote an essay on self-esteem.

Attention! We increase self-esteem!

I don’t even know if there are still doubts in the world that absolutely everything in life depends on how a person treats himself. I have been practicing for 30 years and I continue to make sure of this every day.

Neither our appearance, nor any of the most remarkable abilities and talents affect the attitude towards us on the part of people and the world. Just how we feel ourselves and what we broadcast ...

And so, day after day, I observe how the fair sex frenziedly struggles over the alleged imperfections of its appearance. Men also fight sometimes, but not very selflessly - it is not so important for them to be beautiful as to earn money.

Women, on the other hand, torture themselves with diets and exercise equipment, inject anything in the face, they wear monstrous heels. It's okay. But plastic! The surgeon's knife! Such mockery of oneself is equated with masochism, and those who are engaged in this are simply unhappy victims, ready for anything, just to be loved. Absolutely.

Yes. Any manipulation of your appearance, from self-tanning to liposuction, is a demonstration of self-doubt and a step towards narcissistic disorder.

And this is a very unpleasant disorder when life is not sweet without universal and every minute approval, but better admiration, and even better - adoration.

The worst thing is that for the victims of the beauty industry, the measure of self-esteem is not at all appearance, but the presence or absence of a partner of certain parameters. By the way, about partners: the lower the self-esteem of the man himself, the more importance he attaches to the appearance of his wife or mistress. Self-confident people practically do not care.

I don’t understand at all why to endure, for example, painful injections of Botox, when the whole world history, science and everyday experience are downright screaming that your appearance (as well as high moral qualities) does not play ANY ROLE in love, attraction , sex and attitude towards us from others. There is another trick. Below I will tell you what.

Well, everyone knows who John Lenon married and adored - a man who could choose any woman in the world. And now remember Yoko Ono. Her appearance is very peculiar, even for the Japanese taste.

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills? This girl does not have one leg at all, but she managed to marry one of the richest and satiated suitors in the world. (Also rob it).

And after all, no one can be suspected that he has not had sex with the beautiful.

And at the same time, there are so many beautiful and very unhappy people around. And the most beautiful (okay, sexiest) woman on earth, about whom 90% of the male population of this planet dreamed, whose portrait was carried in the breast pocket by the soldiers of the American army in Vietnam - Marilyn Monroe - died of loneliness and loneliness. And in general, she had a bunch of psychological problems. And it was Marilyn who said: “ I was not used to being happy and therefore did not consider happiness to be something obligatory for me.».

Hence the question: do you want to be beautiful or happy? If the second - you need to work not on appearance, but on self-esteem.

Fall in love with yourself with any appearance, and then your appearance can really be any! This is the law. “… You love us with the little black ones, and everyone will love us with the little ones,” as it is written by Gogol.

You see, appearance is a very subjective concept. APPEARANCE IS ONLY WHAT YOU FEEL LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR ...“I like myself” or “I don't like myself” - that is the question.

Yes, love, like self-dislike, does not arise from scratch, and all this comes from childhood - hello to parents. If a person does not tolerate being rejected, if he is a priori sure that he SHOULD be liked by people, and for this he MUST be good, it is clear that he has no idea of ​​unconditional (and the only true) love. This mom and dad loved oh, not just like that! Not because he was born and is in the world ... They did not kiss him on the ass and did not say that he was the most beautiful child in the world. Noooo. Directly or indirectly, they conveyed to him a false idea of ​​goodness, from which it follows that love must be earned, and even better, it must be earned daily. And for this ...

"I will be an excellent hostess, I will learn to cook deliciously, I will look like candy, and then someone will certainly see my" human "talent!" - this is how the majority of Russian women reason, not necessarily out loud.

Dear ones! Nobody will love you for your luxurious eyelashes, borscht with a cutlet and docile nature. Love for something else!

As the saying goes, "Good girls go to heaven, and bad girls go wherever they want."

Besides, don't you understand how unnatural you behave when you stupidly want to be liked? Behind this behavior, it is completely impossible to discern what kind of person really is, but you can always catch the tension and read dissatisfaction and dissatisfaction with oneself. Normal people are alarmed and repulsed by all this. And self-confidence, on the contrary, attracts and does not let go. But it's not just about confidence. For falling in love, love or passion to happen, a person must, as they say, "hook". And now the not ideal shape of the nose, a flat stomach or beautiful hair clings (unless at the first moment, at which everything can end). Unconsciously, something from childhood, an association, a similarity, a smell, a gesture, a manner of fiddling with a button, a tone of voice, in a word, some detail reminiscent of the parental home and parent - of the opposite sex, catches on. This association, by the way, does not have to be happy. And all the tricks, plastic, outfits and virtues are powerless against this ...

For love, there is no appearance, there is only character, "eggs", will, loyalty to oneself. Only this is in short supply in this world. And only this arouses interest, respect, desire.

And if all this is not enough for you, there is only one way out - to be yourself. Develop your individuality and personal qualities. Don't compromise. Well, at least not to mock yourself, not to behave like a victim!

Your appearance is only your self-esteem.

What you need to know about self-esteem? That if it is low for you, then your life is hard.

Symptoms of low self-esteem:

  • you feel flawed, guilt and humiliation gnaw at you;
  • you are sure that people are unfair to you, and life in general is even more unfair to you;
  • it seems to you that you are married to the wrong person (married to the wrong one), you work in the wrong place and for the wrong salary;
  • children do not live up to your expectations;
  • deep down, you understand that you were born for another life, but your enemies, ill-wishers, obligations and circumstances do not allow you to unfold to the full power of your destiny;
  • you are often gnawed by envy;
  • you are constantly comparing yourself with others, and comparisons are always not in your favor;
  • the choice of everything - from socks to work and an apartment - is flawed (“for me it’s too much,” “I don’t deserve more”);
  • you are dependent on the opinions of others.

If any of the above is characteristic of you, rest assured - this is it: low self-esteem.

Let's remember who told you that you don't deserve all the best? Mom, who explained everything about the hereditary flaws in your figure and your character when you still went to kindergarten? Or maybe it was the first teacher who liked to repeat that “in forty years of work at school, she has not seen such a stupid child”? Or the first love that ended in failure, which you were accused of ("This is all because of you! Nobody would have lasted long with such a bunch of claims and complexes like you!") Or the first wife (husband), or the boss, or whoever interviewed you for that position?

And now what i can do?

First, realize that this is your problem, and not life is so unfair.

Secondly, stop feeling sorry for yourself and blaming everyone around for your problems.

And most importantly, start following your desires, aspirations, dreams. To cultivate your dissimilarity from others and not be ashamed of anything in yourself.

Okay, the ugly little dude will say, you say everything right, and I subscribe to every word and I can read it a hundred times more, but this will not add confidence to me. What to do? To which I will answer that it is certainly necessary to work on accepting yourself in the form in which you are. Well, for example, try to provide yourself with maximum psychological comfort, respect your desires, devote time (and money) to yourself, try to enjoy life, taste it, taste it, enjoy it.

The task is to independently make up for the lack of love, to fill those voids that were formed in childhood and adolescence. Directly set yourself such a goal, take it first, vital, and not wait for others to make you happy.

Others will appear in your life and want to do you well just when you yourself feel your importance.

Text: Mikhail Labkovsky

Cover photo: Dove for real beauty campaign

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How to be happy. Ten tips from Mikhail Labkovsky. Advice from one of the most sought-after psychologists on a topic that Mikhail Labkovsky considers to be the main one in psychology. It's about the ability to enjoy life. About why we are unhappy, what obstacles stand in our way and what needs to be changed in order to become happy.

# 1 How To Be Happy: Don't Be Afraid To Be Happy

Most people live in families where it is not customary to enjoy life, it is not customary to say that everything is fine with you. Parents' inability to rejoice and smile is transmitted to us, and we believe that life is so arranged.

Another of our tricks is the idea that if you were good, you will definitely have to pay for it. We are afraid to enjoy life and associate it with something vicious.

# 2.How to be happy: Stop feeling sorry for yourself

When you tell others about your problems, what do you want? You want to complain, not solve it. The cult of suffering is another thing we do. It is easier for us to suffer than to live happily.

A healthy person either accepts the situation or changes it. A neurotic does not accept and does not change. Take, for example, a physical illness that really prevents you from enjoying life.

But healthy people are treated, and neurotics want to get sick, because they get a reason to feel sorry for themselves. People are ready to die on the road, because being treated means wanting to live and have fun.

# 3 How To Be Happy: Separate Real From Fictional Problems

A neurotic differs from a healthy person in that a healthy person worries about real problems, and a neurotic about non-existent ones. It's almost like a hobby to come up with a problem and suffer from it all day.

# 4 How To Be Happy :. Don't try to help everyone around

The desire to help others arises from the fact that you do not believe that you can be loved just like that. By helping others, you are trying to raise your own self-esteem. Therefore, if you are not asked, it is better not to touch people with your hands. Focus on those who really need help.

Neurotics cannot tell the difference between addiction and love. Photo: Daria Popova

# 5.How to Be Happy: Don't talk when you're not asked

When you answer questions that aren't asked, you betray your anxiety. Once I walk with a girl past a disgusting store called "Wardrobe" and she says: "What a beautiful dress", and after a minute of my silence: "I knew that you were not a man."

She, by the way, is one hundred percent woman. But if she asked to buy, I would buy, and if you immediately run to the cashier in such situations, you are an insecure person.

# 6 How To Be Happy: Separating Love From Addiction

People never give up what they love. Take smoking for example. I have smoked for 37 years, and for the last 10 I have been smoking three packs a day. Once I threw it for an hour and forty, when the doctor said that I was soon kapets.

I stopped smoking when I told myself that I do not like cigarettes, I just have an addiction to them. Neurotics cannot tell the difference between addiction and love.

# 7 How To Be Happy: Routine Isn't Always Bad

I have been doing routine (lecturing) for 35 years and I feel great because I am a conservative person. Remember that Rabinovich asked the prisoner: "Why are you walking around the cell all the time, do you think you are not sitting?"

Neurotics cannot live in peace, they constantly rush about, they are afraid of not being able to do something, and they receive a fifth education. When the opportunity arises to do nothing, they become uncomfortable.

# 8.How to Be Happy: Change Yourself, Not Others

This, first of all, concerns the upbringing of children. You cannot, without doing anything with yourself, do something with the children. They do not perceive what you say, they perceive what you do and how you behave with others.

I consulted a 70-year-old woman who did not understand why her son is 40, but he does not call. It turned out that at the age of 15 she got him by imposing her scripts. Therefore, remember what the flight attendant says on the plane - first a mask for herself, then for the children.

# 9 How To Be Happy: Take Critics Easier

Remember how you are sitting in the subway, and your grandmother comes in. The car will look at you with hatred, and you fly out of the place like a catapult. Why are you doing this, because your grandmother is not asking you to yield?

It’s a matter of low self-esteem and fear of condemnation in absentia. Experiment and don't get up if you don't want to. Whatever they say - that you are shameless, that you have never met such shit in your life, do not react. Over time, you will realize that someone else's assessment can be ignored.

# 10.How to Be Happy: Only Do What You Want

A classic example with children, when you play with them, because it is necessary - I am a good person, therefore, I have to play. Stop it. Play when you want, and when you don't want to, don't play. Children also feel when you are not interested, and guilt is not love. Take care of children when you want and as much as you want. You already have a lot of responsibilities.

13.05.2016 13:00

He is not a theoretician, but a practitioner. He does not like to "discuss the topic", but prefers to answer specific questions. FP attended Mikhail's public lecture to find out how human psychology affects his earnings and career.

The meeting took place in the "Direct speech" lecture hall, there were no vacant places. Labkovsky began with a short introduction: he called himself a guinea pig, since he himself is an interesting example for studying the issue. He worked in a boiler room, at a school for 69 rubles, was repeatedly fined for non-payment of utilities. And now he is quite financially safe. “Psychology is changing, and behind it is the material status. Marx was right: being determines consciousness, no matter what they say. Successful people have a completely different self-esteem, ”a well-known psychologist brought out his main thesis and moved on to the questions, from the discussion of which practical advice was obtained.



 But in fact, only an employee needs it. Moreover, the more prestigious the university, the more valuable the person who graduated from it is for the company. But if someone does not know, 60% of US millionaires do not have higher education at all. Universities teach how to maximize corporate profits. But in order to earn money on your own, you need generally different skills and qualities.


Children should learn how to independently solve issues with marks and tests at school, then they will definitely not disappear in adulthood. You don't have to force your son or daughter to go to university: this is how you work out your complexes. That the fathers "did not finish singing", the children must somehow "finish singing". The only amendment: if a child is not going to study after school, he must go to work. The story when he does nothing is excluded.


What is it in their psychology that money does not stick to their hands, as they say? There is one interesting thing: if you live by saving and writing down your daily expenses, then there will be no money. Because you literally procrastinate for a rainy day that you constantly think about. You think that this day may come, and the subconscious mind is completely independent of you (the brain makes a decision 20 seconds before we formulate thoughts) is already starting to make mistakes, programming this very dark day. Although many, living in this way, are sure that difficult times are not coming because of me, but, for example, because of the financial crisis.

People who buy things just for practical reasons are also unlikely to ever get rich.
Their quality of life is already "flawed".

I also want to say a few words about greed - a painful condition, you must agree. But this is not a bad person, these are his fears associated with ruin and lack of faith in himself.


People who earn more than they are able to "eat" are also not all right. Having serious complexes, they at one time relied on wealth as an opportunity to attract attention. After all, they also love for money. Such citizens are completely focused on making money and are no longer able to stop the process. Burning out, these people often commit suicide - it simply loses its meaning. They have such low self-esteem that without millions they feel like nobody. By virtue of my profession, I often talked with billionaires and realized that they are very far from the concept of a "happy person". The rich are burdened with money, they are slaves to their accounts. And their whole life is about how to properly manage capital.


But is the gap between the oligarch and the middle-income person so great? Psychological research shows that it is not very good. If a person is healthy, then, in principle, it does not matter how much he earns. The set of criteria that satisfy the needs of both the money-bag and the average-income manager is almost the same. The difference is about 10%.



 The main donation is to explain to the employer why your income should increase. Suppose you have the desired amount in your head, then you go to the boss and say, "I want this much." And do not tell further that you have too many responsibilities, you have a mortgage and your wife is giving birth. So your demands turn into complaints and excuses. No one will give a ruble for them. Then the employer asks: “Why do you want an increase? What if now all the employees want to? " You answer each question separately in something like this: "I love round numbers", "I like the amount." And if without irony, then the correct answer would be: "I deserve this money."

In the eighth grade I read (albeit up to half) Marx's Capital. It was clear from this work: if you work in any company and bring 100 rubles to the employer, you take only five of them. The bosses are not your benefactors. They do not hold you out of grace, but because you give them much more than you bring yourself. And as long as this happens, the employer needs you. If you are confident in yourself, if you know that your work is worth this money, then you will get it.


But in order to live by this rule, you need to observe the following condition: you should not be afraid of losing your job and money. Personal example: they closed my program on Ekho Moskvy, and for a long time I could not find a job. Suddenly, a small Internet TV appeared on the horizon, there are hundreds of them. But this was different in that it was broadcast on Echo of Moscow. Since the TV was located on popular radio, people found out about me, and I began to earn at least 15 thousand euros a month on consultations. At some point, the owner of the TV company started trying to extort money from me. I was worried, I did not sleep at night. But the next rule says: "Say what you don't like right away." And I said, "Old man, I don't work with you anymore." He was surprised: "Why?" - "I like you". In doing so, I wanted to make even more money, but in the end I lost my job.

What I want to say with this story: if the employer refuses to raise you in position or salary, you say goodbye to him. Otherwise, the second time no one will believe in your stamping with your foot.

You need to go to your boss for a conversation only with the feeling that you will never disappear in the labor market. It is important to understand that the main quality of an employee is anxiety. It is thanks to her that he reads the reports five times and puts them on the table to his superiors before the appointed time. Such a person will not leave work anywhere, because he is afraid. And the higher his nervousness, the better for the employer. Because such an employee is afraid to ask for a raise.



 Therefore, come to the interview with burning eyes and say: “Yes, for me this is ugh! I'll do everything here if we agree on a salary. If the amount does not suit you, why are you taking my time? " Instead, people come and start mumbling, looking at the floor. It seems that they really didn’t eat anything for three days before coming to work to get a job. Therefore, no one considers them: their actions are accompanied by a certain wretchedness. If you know your worth, you will get the money you ask for.



 Because they had anxious parents. Here my daughter ran all her childhood and asked: "Dad, are we rich or poor?" She did not understand: the family seemed to have funds, but the phone was turned off for non-payment. And only when she flew in business class for the first time, she calmed down: there is money. So, anxious parents who panic about how they will feed the child, dress (although they work themselves, do not ask for alms), form certain mental reactions in him.


Our head works like a computer, and when an adult has some life situations, the brain gives him those emotional reactions that were formed at the age of about five years. But I want to reassure you: the real lack of money threatens few. People who have work experience can sleep soundly. They learned to find it, and this skill is akin to the ability to ride a bicycle: if you rode it as a child, then at 35 you can easily sit down.


As soon as you start making decisions in your business, the fear of running out of money mingles with them. A person has two hemispheres that function in turn. That is, you cannot experience and think at the same time. And it turns out that the wrong decision in business is often associated with avoiding problems. In particular, most aspiring entrepreneurs fear ruin. Don't get hung up on these negative emotions, they lead to loss of money. Just do your job.


By the way, I have yet to meet a person who avoids trouble and makes money at the same time. It is necessary to rebuild mental reactions. I recently spoke with a businessman who owned a decent two-story store of Russian wines. And recently, it was not that he went bankrupt, his business was primitively taken away. What is not a reason for despondency? But when the journalist came to him for an interview, he immediately asked: “Don't tell me that everything is bad with me. This can happen to anyone. Well, nothing, I'll think of something else. " This is how you have to live. Dust yourself off and move on. And then there will be money. After all, people who are faced with setbacks and even experiencing fear, then it is more difficult to rise.


Your cost depends on your attitude towards yourself. How important you are, how interesting you are to yourself, how much you love yourself ... "How much are you worth" is determined by your own confidence. This is a complex topic, it is related to unconditional love, and there is no place for money in it.

Unconditional love is when you love yourself for nothing. Not for achievements, not for a career.

And then your "market price" will coincide with your inner well-being. Parents take a huge part in this issue. They are the first to determine the value of a child based on the rules: “Studying with Cs is bad,” “You have to be successful,” and so on. The only parental task is to help him realize that he is just a good person. True, I have not seen parents who focus on this.


I will cite two situations as an example. Imagine a child has learned to put words into sentences - a mother is in seventh heaven with happiness. Then he goes to school and starts bringing fives. Parents in ecstasy - the son is smart. But it is not necessary to show love for a child through his marks and successes. There is a second example. Imagine a family: mom, dad, and a four-year-old son sitting in the kitchen drinking tea. One candy remains on the saucer. Mom gives it to the child, he takes it, breaks off the half and gives it to her. Usually mom refuses and makes a big mistake. Her son had just accomplished a great achievement and she hadn't noticed him. But the ability to share is much more important than the fact that he learned to speak fluently. That is, no one is trying to cultivate his human qualities, do you understand? Well, there is candy, let him eat. Nobody says: "What a caring child we grow up!" And for him the whole act is to give up candy and treat it to the most beloved woman in the world.



 I can say the following about myself: the very idea of ​​making money never attracted me, otherwise I would not have worked for ten years at school. I remember well the story of one boy who came to us in the second grade. We disliked him and made him an object of ridicule. His mother was a prostitute in the Mir hotel. Therefore, his peers mocked him. In general, the guy had a hard time. But one day his mother came to the parents' meeting with some strange man in a red scarf, a foreigner. And he gave our classmate a fashionable toy with two wireless radios. And the guy immediately made friends. Millions of people like him grow by leaps and bounds in adulthood. From childhood, they clearly understand that when you have something, everyone needs you. But the Swiss bank account does not bring joy.


Money is only a tool, not a goal. For me, the most effective way to be provided is self-realization in a business that brings pleasure. An acquaintance of mine found a source of income: he sells reels of cable. And he is also engaged in apartment renovation. So little by little, he made a fortune of half a billion dollars. But he admits to me: “I envy you. You have been doing what you like all your life. " I have lived 54 years and can answer when money is really needed. You badly need them when you have to undergo treatment or surgery. In other words, it is a matter of life and death. But people, thank God, do not die 24 hours a day and every day. They just live: go to the movies, walk in the woods and swim. And you don't need a lot of money for that.

Schedule of the next lectures by Mikhail Labkovsky - on

"Who are you?", "What are you?", "Your personality - what does it consist of?" - I'm sure you are used to reading psychological literature and reflecting, which means that you can calmly answer these questions without going into reasoning. Each of us consists of experience, self-identification, our own past, talents ...

All this is understandable. But not in the last place on this list are “personalized problems”: complexes, fears, phobias, behavioral features, or even flaws such as aggressiveness or indecision.

Are they also part of our personality or not? Let's figure it out.

Portrait of the artist in his youth

Many of us are convinced that circumstances shape personality. Failure, pain, loss - they are all imprinted on our "I" and create what we like to call character. Admirers of Freudianism and psychoanalysis in general will not fail to add to the list and education, and trauma, and all kinds of parental mistakes. And with this, perhaps, you can not argue. But the question remains open: is it worth getting along with this as an obligatory part of yourself? To exist without going beyond the "set parameters", the destruction of which takes years of therapy? ..

Everyone answers this question himself.

There is no sense in looking for the guilty. Parents? Firstly, they are what they are, they have not read columns in psychological journals.

Personally, I am sure that a person comes to this world for happiness and joy. Read for life itself. As a toddler, he is trusting, open, loving, confident. But then he grows, and happens to him ... in fact, life happens. They said the wrong thing, compared it to the wrong one, here he blundered - and so on and so forth.

And there is no point in looking for the guilty. Parents? Firstly, they did not read columns in psychological journals as they are, they did not go to therapy. Secondly, they could want the best, but due to their own anxiety, which they tried not to demonstrate, so as not to cripple your psyche, they did not give you love, and you grew up to be a restless person.

It could also happen that the parents had to leave the baby in the hospital for some time. There, unpleasant medical manipulations with the best intentions were performed with him in order to save his life and preserve his health, but in the end, his parents took the little neurotic back home.

No one to blame

Let's imagine twins for clarity. One was bitten by a dog in childhood, and the other, say, was licked, happily wagging its tail. One got scared for life, the other became attached to the four-legged. I am sure that such “prints of biographies” do not form character at all, but a kind of, relatively speaking, “illness”. Something like a rash on your face that doesn't show your true skin color. And if one day you decide for yourself that you want to get rid of it completely, it is quite possible to do it.

Just imagine: you can take and start living. Not to exist, not to survive, not to adapt. Do not look around fearfully: as if something happened. Do not pull yourself back: well, where am I, with my abilities. And just do what you like.

Build relationships that bring pleasure, work where it is comfortable, where you are "in your place", do what you like, get as much as you need. And I am convinced that in order to achieve this, it is not necessary to reveal the past and remember all the dogs that have ever barked. I propose something else: learn to exist right now as a healthy person without pain and problems.

Start listening to yourself today, now

How to do it? First, ask yourself what you want for breakfast in order to understand your taste preferences. Asking the question: "If I don't feel like going to work again, am I doing what I have always dreamed of?"

You can learn to build happy relationships only by being able to rip apart those that don't bring you joy. You can start doing what you love, simply by learning to isolate what you really like and what you do because it is prestigious, monetary or personnel officers say that this area will be on the rise.

Start listening to yourself today, now. Your inner voice, opinions, desires, and preferences are the only ones you have. This is your life - live it the way you want it.

28 September 2016

Mikhail Labkovsky can be called a brilliant family psychologist who managed to turn the idea of ​​both psychologists and their lectures. Now he is not only a practicing psychologist, but also a lawyer, radio and television presenter. Labkovsky has 30 years of practical experience, including considerable experience in foreign psychological practice. We invite you to familiarize yourself with the information on the topic "Mikhail Labkovsky. Biography, professional activity, his rules and advice."

Career stages

Born June 17, 1961 Mikhail Labkovsky. His biography, naturally, primarily tells about education. Mikhail studied at Moscow State University. Lomonosov, graduated from the Faculty of Psychology with a degree in General, Age and Family Psychology. In addition, Labkovsky also received a legal education, specialized in family law.

At one time M. Labkovsky had a hard time becoming what he is at the moment. He began his professional career with work at school, first as a simple teacher, then as a school psychologist. Despite his very effective advice regarding family and children, very, very little is known about the therapist himself. Who is he, Mikhail Labkovsky? Family, children, biography - all this can be of interest to potential clients. The description of the life path of a psychologist includes only data on studies and work. From various sources, his personal interviews, it is known that he loves animals. He has a cat at home, about which he sometimes also talks. As for personal information, this is not such an important point that you should talk about and spend time on it. This is the whole Mikhail Labkovsky. His biography tells briefly about the important.

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Professional development of M.A. Labkovsky

The life of a famous psychologist develops in such a way that he goes abroad. As Mikhail Labkovsky himself says in his interviews, his biography also includes life in Israel. For some time he stays in Jerusalem, where he worked and studied at the same time. It was there that Mikhail received his second doctorate in psychology. Labkovsky's work in Israel was directly related to his specialty. For some time, Mikhail acted as an intermediary between the spouses who dissolved the marriage, divided property and children. It was a special experience, because M. Labkovsky thus acquired the practice of negotiating in the Family Mediation Service. He regrets very much that such a service has not appeared in Russia until today. Mikhail was also one of the staff psychologists at the Jerusalem City Hall, working with teenagers who were serving time in juvenile colonies.

Back in Moscow, Mikhail Labkovsky, a psychologist, opens his own consultation on family issues. It is here that he holds individual and group meetings. His counseling service deals with many family matters: marriage contracts, divorce problems, and child-related problems. Mikhail Labkovsky is also the author of many publications.

Radio work and web activity


Another stage in the life of the famous psychotherapist is very interesting and creative. Mikhail Labkovsky is a psychologist who for eight years acted as the host of various FM radio stations. In 2004, Labkovsky launched his own interactive weekly program called "Adults about Adults", which aired on Echo of Moscow. She appeared on the air every Saturday, and for a whole hour Labkovsky answered questions from radio listeners that related to family problems and human relationships. Another program, which was conducted by the psychologist at this radio station, is "Mikhail Labkovsky's Night Program". It came out on Sunday at a later time, it discussed delicate issues: "Everything you wanted to know about sex and were not afraid to ask." Mikhail conducted these night broadcasts with his permanent co-host, sound engineer and editor, Natalya Kuzmina. Together they created a unique confidential conversation. Both programs were very popular, but this did not stop their broadcasting, which was very much regretted by both the author himself and his listeners. In 2013, the program "Adults about Adults" began broadcasting on the air of online TV on "Setivisor" in the fall. And in 2016 Labkovsky began to work at the radio station "Silver Rain", where he still works. In addition, the well-known psychologist conducts many public lectures, on the Kultura TV channel he appears in the "Rules of Life" program. In addition, the popular psychotherapist Labkovsky can be contacted on various social networks, which he also actively uses in his work.

Mikhail Labkovsky. Books, publications, lectures-consultations

This famous family psychologist does not tell the theory, he gives effective practical advice. Therefore, his lectures and publications are somewhat peculiar. He completely turned the idea of ​​the lecture as such. Mikhail Labkovsky is a psychologist who does not argue on a given topic: he clearly answers the questions posed, often asks in such a way that a person sees a solution to his problem. Mikhail Labkovsky has prepared a lot of interesting publications, his lectures and consultations are popular, many of which were released in the form of audiobooks. These are interesting dialogues that people listen to in one breath, take from them a lot of necessary information and effective advice. There are some among them who are considered the best. Published by Mikhail Labkovsky books:

  • "About feelings of guilt and shame";
  • "About Marriage";
  • "About children".

The famous psychologist is also the author of six rules, which he voices in almost every lecture. Labkovsky argues that people with high self-esteem, who love and accept themselves as they are, consciously or unconsciously, will adhere to these rules.

1. Do exclusively what you like.

2. Do not do what you don’t want to do.

3. Speak immediately about what you don't like.

4. Do not answer when you are not asked.

5. Answer only the asked question.

6. When clarifying the relationship, talk exclusively about yourself.

Labkovsky is a professional psychologist, and, in his opinion, it is necessary to start solving any problem with yourself. And all the reasons must also be sought only in oneself. And the changes will begin only with their own actions. And nothing else.