Addicted people are prone to virtual love. Psychological differences between men and women

02.07.2019

The importance of communication for men and women.

Affiliation- the need for communication and emotional contacts.

Affiliate tendencies are more pronounced in persons with a focus on interpersonal communication, i.e. among women.

It was found that the average volume of communication in men it is 1.5 times less than in women.

The great importance of communication for women is also emphasized by the fact that in people aged 70 to 90 years, sociability gives a high positive correlation with the experience of happiness in women, but does not show the same connection in men.

Sexual characteristics of social perception.

The great subjective significance of interaction with another person and, in general, relationships has as its consequence a relatively greater development in women than in men of social perceptual abilities: women more subtly grasp the state of another person by changes in the timbre of the voice and in other expressive manifestations, more accurately determine the effect of their own influence to another person.

Females give a more detailed description of the other person than males.

When judging people, females are more “kind” than males.

For men, physical signs of attractiveness are critical to the perception of women. Highly expressive women are perceived to be more friendly than low-expressive women.

The data are given, according to which, the verbosity of men was perceived as a defect in their personality, and among women - as the norm.

Women are rarely wrong

in their judgments about each other.

A. Christie

If you want to know about the girl's flaws,

praise her in front of her friends.

B. Franklin

Attitude towards the opposite sex.

Many studies have shown that estimates of members of the same sex are higher than those of the opposite sex. And this tendency begins to manifest itself already in preschool children.

Children of both sexes 4-6 years old believe that girls are better than boys, with the difference that boys have the emotional attitude “boys are worse than girls and I’m bad”, and girls have “girls are better than boys, and I’m good”.

It was found that boys evaluate girls' behavior only from the positive side, and their own - both positively and negatively. Girls, on the other hand, define their behavior as good and that of boys as bad. The role of schoolchildren and schoolgirls correlates in different ways with gender-role stereotypes. The ideas of a “good” schoolgirl and a “real” woman do not contradict each other, while being a good (diligent) student and at the same time a “real” man in the minds of students appears as contradictory ideas.

Sexual characteristics of the choice of a communication partner by children.

Choosing partners for communication and play, children are guided by those personal qualities and behavior patterns that correspond to the female and male sex. Relations between boys are built, as a rule, on the recognition of the skills to organize, achieve a positive result, defend their opinion, and defend themselves. Girls in relationships with girls are attracted, first of all, by spiritual qualities, appearance.

Contacts and play interaction of preschool children of the same sex in most cases are longer, and there are fewer conflict situations.

Group activities are more typical for boys' games. Girls' games take place in smaller groups, with less aggressiveness, more reciprocity and trust. For girls, the role of self-image of others is more important in establishing relationships with them than for boys.

Because of their higher competitiveness, boys are more likely than girls to befriend those who are less successful and distance themselves from those peers who have better academic or athletic performance. On the other hand, female students are friends with those who achieve better results than themselves.

Social circle of women and men.

The circle of direct communication among women of different ages includes more than among men. While young men, in communicating with representatives of the opposite sex, are guided mainly by their peers, girls in a significant part of them are guided by older males.

The basis for the inclusion of a person in the social circle of men is the possibility of receiving various kinds of assistance from these persons, as well as their participation in satisfying everyday household needs. With age, the reasons for the formation of a circle of direct communication change. If in children preference is given on the basis of emotional and gender characteristics, then in adults the main factor in the choice of communication partners is pragmatism.

In real interpersonal interaction and in purely personal terms, highly competent women do not enjoy the location not only of men, but also of women. The loss of a man to a woman almost always means a decrease in his self-esteem, since a "real" man must always beat a woman.

In old age, women tend to actively expand interpersonal contacts, while men limit their contacts to the family.

Communication tightness and gender.

Friendship girls have more trusting relationships than boys. Girls develop close friendships with the opposite sex earlier than boys.

The same trend continues in adults. Women have closer friendships than men, are more likely to self-disclose and have more intimate conversations. Women experience the lack of intimate relationships more than men, but at the same time they are better able to disguise and sublimate.

Both men and women describe their friendships with women as more intimate, joyful and caring for each other.

Although men are more inclined to joint activities and joint games with friends, they have more "secrets" than women, are less frank and reluctant to share intimate information with others. Even with a strong enough feeling of affection, they are afraid to show it, since self-disclosure is considered a sign of weakness and leads to a loss of respect from other men. Therefore, men are more lonely than women. Despite the fact that the social circle for men may be wider, communication is more superficial than that of women.

Women consider their communication with people close to them closer and more stable than men.

Cohesion. In the lower grades, girls are more united than boys, but from the 5th grade boys become more united than girls. The greater cohesion of men compared to women was confirmed in student study groups.

Relationships between men are characterized by greater conflict and competition. Boys sort out conflicts between themselves by force, rejecting the weaker. Conflict situations between girls are resolved on an emotional level, in disputes, boycotts. They often "slander" each other. Affectionate nicknames are common among girls, while boys take physical features or surnames as the basis for nicknames.

Male and female communication styles.

The manner of communication between men and women was given great importance in ancient Greece. For example, a man was supposed to keep his head held high, otherwise he could be mistaken for a homosexual. Women, on the other hand, were not supposed to look their interlocutor directly in the eye. The look away to the side testified to bashfulness, modesty, submissiveness. True, morals change over the centuries. Now women do not look away.

The male style of communication from early childhood looks more active and substantive. Men are more direct in their needs, which makes them more understandable and predictable than women. The masculine style emphasizes the independence, propensity for action, characteristic of people in power, and the feminine - interdependence. Men speak with pressure, interrupt the interlocutor, look more firmly in the eyes, smile less often. Women, on the other hand, prefer less direct methods of influencing the interlocutor - they interrupt less, are more tactful and polite, less self-confident.

Male communication is characterized by greater emotional restraint, a desire for domination, for creative and rational ways of interaction. Men communicate with each other at a greater distance, it is less customary for them to hug and especially kiss.

Women express their emotions and feelings more freely, including with persons of the opposite sex; they have a wide range of interpersonal distances, each of which shows a certain level of intimacy with a person. Due to the greater social orientation, women are more clearly aware of the fragile ties that unite people and make their communication more trusting.

Exchange of views. Women are more likely to look at the interlocutor while listening than while speaking, while men do not have such differences.

Differences in treatment. The messages addressed to men and women differ. In petting nicknames, a woman turns into food or baby animals: sweet, lamb, candy, kitten, bunny, chicken, etc. According to psychologists, this confirms the attitude towards a woman as a person with a lower status.

Gestures used by men and women in the process of communication. Communication gestures are used by men and women in different variations and with different frequencies. Men are more likely to use touching others than women; the latter prefer touching themselves.

Confidence Gesture - "Dome"- fingers are connected like a dome of a temple. This means trust, but often at the same time some complacency, confidence in their infallibility, selfishness or pride. This gesture immediately communicates that the person is very confident in what they are saying. This posture can be adopted to induce absolute confidence in yourself. Women usually connect their toes on their knees while sitting or just above the waist when standing.

Gesture "Hands on the chest" Ever since the days of Ancient Rome, it has been regarded as openness and honesty. Women rarely use this gesture.

Protective neck stroking with the palm of your hand. In many cases, when a person takes a defensive position, the hand moves back, as if pulling for a blow or pulling away as if from a burn, but this is masked by the fact that after this the person puts his hand on his neck. Women usually correct their hair at the same time.

For a woman, a typical gesture of insecurity is slow and graceful raising of the hand to the neck; if a necklace is worn, the hand touches it, as if checking if it is in place.

The masculine demeanor is characterized by sitting with legs wide apart, taking a wide step, speaking in a loud voice.

The role of height ratios between men and women. The taller the man, the closer he comes to the interlocutor and, conversely, the smaller the man's height, the further he prefers to be from his interlocutor. In women, the opposite relationship is observed. This is explained by the fact that our society has developed a kind of "cultural norm" - a man should be tall, and a woman, on the contrary, miniature. Therefore, people tend to unconsciously comply with these norms. A tall man is pleased to stand next to his interlocutor, and a tall woman, on the contrary, seeks to move away to hide her flaw. It follows from this that it is not necessary to approach a tall woman or a short man during a conversation - it will be unpleasant for them. On the other hand, you can approach a petite woman or a tall man very closely - it will be pleasant for them.

Male and female communication styles are mainly formed under the influence of historically established gender-role stereotypes, although the role of psychophysiological characteristics is not denied either. Indeed, it is unlikely that girls' need to express their emotional experiences in communication with peers is also only a consequence of the imitation of the mother. Most girls are naturally more emotional, which means that they also have a stronger need to release emotional stress. Rather, behavioral characteristics should be seen as phenotypic, as a fusion of congenital and acquired.

Lesson number 4.

What are girls made of, what are boys made of? Every day, communicating with the opposite sex, many of us sigh and say to ourselves: "Women (men) do not understand!" Indeed, often the differences between a man and a woman regarding the perception of the same things seem so enormous that common points of contact cannot be found. Many scientific papers have been written claiming that the differences between men and women are so great, as if they are representatives of different species. And exactly the same number of studies say the opposite. Who is right?

What is the origin of the idea of psychological differences between men and women, the myth of a total misunderstanding of each other? Most likely, it is based on gender differences, behaviors and differences in expectations. The characteristics of women and men have repeatedly become the subject of various studies, both popular and deeply scientific. Their results provide reliable evidence that the psychological characteristics of men and women are really different.

The brain of a man and a woman: differences and similarities

As for the brain of a man and a woman, the differences in its work are still not clear. A man, while interacting with other people, must clearly understand the meaning and ultimate goal of what is happening. If a problem is being discussed, his brain is wired to seek and make a decision. A woman will usually talk about how she feels about the problem and what to do to feel differently. For a woman, talking about a problem means feeling understood and accepted, becoming closer with the interlocutor, sharing her thoughts and feelings with him.

At the same time, there are many men whose brain functions according to the “female” principle, that is, it needs to “articulate” the problem. Men gravitate towards productive speech. They easily shorten the story about something if they believe that the details of what happened are unimportant, and do not change the meaning of the story. Moreover, men will easily interrupt their narration if they think that the main idea has already been conveyed to the audience, and unnecessary comments will not add anything new to the picture of what happened.

Communication between men and women, psychology of communication between men and women

Communication between a man and a woman is also different, and sometimes so much that it is difficult to reach an understanding. Women use communication with a man to organize or develop their own thoughts. The more details and associations, the more satisfaction a woman gets from communication.

A man from the whole stream of reasoning is usually interested in moments that can be used for specific actions, and ways to implement the plan. If what has been said has no practical application, it can be classified by a man as insignificant.

The female psychology of communication with a man is often based on reasoning about the possibilities, feelings, and outside views on them. A woman predicts the reaction of others (primarily men) and specifies how comfortable she will be with one or another way of solving a problem. Sometimes an insignificant detail, being quite strongly colored emotionally, can be decisive for a woman in defining the problem as a whole.

The psychology of communication between a man and a woman is based on getting to the bottom of the problem. And the psychology of communication between a woman and a man, on the contrary, is based on getting rid of unnecessary and negative emotions. Sometimes women in general, instead of solving the problem itself, prefer to find a different point of view, from which the problem no longer seems too big or does not look like a problem at all.

Features of communication between men and women

Men, like women, are not always rational in solving certain problems. If the problem does not have an obvious solution or the man does not understand the essence of the problem, then he may not at all consider the current state of affairs as a problem.

Women are considered more emotional, but research shows that men keep up with their beautiful girlfriends in this regard. True, men severely limit themselves in the manifestation of these emotions, especially if there are persons nearby who can assess them “incorrectly”.

Differences between man and woman

Everyone knows the saying that a woman driving is akin to a monkey with a grenade, i.e. capable of rash and unexpected actions. Many men generally believe that women do not belong behind the wheel. However, in reality, everything is different.

Both men and women with the same driving experience have approximately the same skills. But men drive more aggressively, relaxed and gain "mileage" faster. Self-confidence often leads to overestimation of one's capabilities. A large number of male drivers believe that their driving skills are "above average", which is not true. Many “excellent” drivers in the experiment performed an assignment to determine their driving skills and received a rating of “below average”. One study comparing the driving behavior of men and women found that men who condemned women for inept driving had twice as many accidents with pedestrians as those who didn’t make such judgments.

Probably, it is precisely because of these features that men have a 77% higher risk of getting into an accident. Among the ladies, undoubtedly, there are reckless drivers, but in general, women gravitate towards safer driving, less often violate the rules and try to avoid risky situations. That is, a woman driving is more likely to miss a car overtaking her than compete with another driver in speed and perseverance.

However, there is an interesting point. If a woman maintains the stereotype that “the weaker sex is unsuitable for driving,” she will indeed drive worse, make many mistakes and stupid things while driving.

Another difference between men and women is memory. The expression "maiden memory" implies the fragility of information that has entered a woman's brain. However, women remember in some detail the details of the first date, the grievances inflicted many years ago, the hopes and disappointments of youth, since all these events are emotionally charged.

Women have excellent verbal memory. The psychology of communication with a woman is based on the fact that they remember well words, objects, pictures and daily events with all the little things, as well as the sequence of actions that they did not so long ago. The woman will easily remember where she put the keys or glasses. She recreates in her memory a picture of what was happening around, what she was doing at that moment and even what she was thinking about.

Men are better at remembering symbols, non-linguistic, and visual-spatial information. For this reason, they tend to find their bearings easily. A great 3D image of the environment is created in a man's head.

Women are also good at orienting themselves on the ground, despite the fact that their memory and perception work in a completely different way. Women follow the same pattern as when searching for keys. The woman recalls what and in what order in a given area she saw, what she thought and what she felt in relation to the surrounding objects.

There is a myth that women are not good at math. Research has shown that math skills are about the same in boys and girls. The difference in favor of the stronger sex is revealed only if the society in which the children are brought up is convinced of male superiority in the exact sciences. Probably, girls in this case are more condescending to their successes in the exact sciences, attributing this to the "unfeminine character" of mathematics, do not seek to identify and correct the mistakes made.

Another common myth is that women are chatty. In reality, female talkativeness does not exceed male. Emotional communication between wives and their girlfriends may seem meaningless to men because of the general difference in the content of "male" and "female" conversations. Men are quite capable of "chatting" women, discussing their hobbies and even just gossiping. It's just that the accents in the male conversation are placed differently than in the female one.

The spirit of competition is shared by both men and women. However, its development is strongly influenced by the cultural environment. If the dominant role of men is recognized in society, then the main battles for leadership will be between them. Where the social environment recognizes the leading role for a woman, representatives of the so-called weaker sex can behave harshly and aggressively. So, we can assume that "men are from Mars, and women are from Venus," but we can assume that we are all from Earth and are able to find mutual language with each other, especially if they are aware of the intricacies of the perception of the “other side”.

In paired relationships, people often do not talk about their needs, believing that everything is already clear, that the other must guess without words. However, to think that the other person will figure it out on his own is a big mistake. It is necessary to speak, because we have not yet learned to understand each other without words ...

Relationships in a couple are a whole art that, probably, every person dreams of mastering. What are the components of a long and happy life together for two loving people? A variety of formulas for happiness are offered. But the most correct one is dictated by the natural laws of nature. The disclosure of these laws is offered by the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.

One of the most important elements of a strong union between a man and a woman is an emotional connection and, as a result, a deep trusting relationship in a couple. But often people are not ready to talk to each other about what is in their souls, sometimes they simply do not know how or are afraid to be sincere, especially as a result of bad experience.

How to overcome this fear and open up to another person? Why is it worth the risk and how to do it right? Let's try to answer these and many other questions with the help of system-vector psychology, which explains how to create trusting relationships in a couple, depending on the desires and sets of mental properties of each of the partners, which are called vectors.

Are we ready to talk?

Let's see what might be holding us back from creating an emotional connection.

It happens that people do not want to share their negative experiences, doubts (especially men) because of fears that this may develop into a constant showdown and splashing out tension on each other. This risk exists if people do not understand themselves, their conditions.

Another reason for underestimating the importance of trusting communication is self-focus. We do not hear the other person, do not understand his states, his aspirations, reacting only to our pain from the words of another. When our finger hurts very badly, we do not care about the mental pain of even a very close person. This comes from the feeling of our own oneness, as if we are alone in this world, and the rest are just an application to us.

Many, especially people with, are prone to limitations in everything, including in the expression of their own emotions, there are false attitudes regarding the need to talk with their spouse. Thus, a dermal woman may not tell her partner that she loves him, implying that “I myself must understand. Why waste words?

Silence between a man and a woman living together is possible only if they both have, for the owners of which, as Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology says, silence and solitude are an absolute must. When two sound people are silent, it is natural for them. At the same time, they are synchronous in their actions, they feel the unity of interests, they have something to keep silent about. It fills them. In other cases, silence is a lack of communication, leading to misunderstanding, discord.

About the fear of betrayal

And we are sometimes afraid of betrayal. What if our candor is used to our detriment? What if our words and experiences become the subject of ridicule and discussion?

Here it is worth weighing the risk that we receive by opening our souls (of course, not to the first person we meet, but to the person to whom we are attracted, with whom we want to build relationships), and the pleasure from rapprochement, unity of souls, which leads to the creation of a truly happy relationships, including sexual ones. What could be more pleasure from a spiritual connection with another person? It's worth the risk.

Moreover, the risk is not as great as it seems to us. If you understand the person with whom you are building a relationship just as well, and even better than he understands himself. Even the basic knowledge about the human psyche, obtained at the training in system-vector psychology, makes this possible for everyone.

Features of communication with a representative of the anal vector

In some cases, an attempt to talk about intimate things can end in conflict. Men for whom the first experience, purity of relationships, loyalty are important (such are the owners), as a rule, react very painfully to the frankness about the previous relationship of their beloved. Although they are often interested in this. This is because they want to be the best, but they are not always confident in themselves.

A woman who decides in this case to go for this kind of frankness runs the risk of falling into the trap of her own gullibility. As Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology says, the psyche of a person with an anal vector is turned into the past, which is preferable for him than the present. He is ready to admit in advance that everything that was before is better. Having learned about the "former", an anal man, having a very good memory, will never be able to forgive her her past lovers, because, in his opinion, they are a priori better than him. He will reproach her with this at every opportunity.

Such a conversation has its own characteristics, which are best taken into account in order to make communication as pleasant and fruitful as possible for both partners. System-vector psychology gives us very precise recommendations on this matter.

The Role of Women in the Art of Soul Conversation

A woman always sets the tone in a relationship. She is desirable, and the man goes wherever she unconsciously attracts him. Therefore, it is easier and more natural for a woman to start a sincere, sincere conversation, that is, to be naked mentally. It is much easier for her than for a man to be open. This does not mean the exchange of rational information (paying bills, going to the store, vacation plans), we need this in everyday life, but this does not apply to creating an emotional connection.

Starting to talk about herself, about her feelings, sharing her innermost, a woman involves a man in confidential communication. And he responds, responds with frankness to frankness, because this is always a mutual process.

At the same time, you should not be afraid to show yourself how you feel, how you want it, even if there is no such attitude from the other side yet. The man will gradually get involved. You walk forward and he follows you.

The rapprochement of souls occurs gradually, you should not start with difficult and painful revelations. Allow intimacy first. It is better to start with some innocent but dear childhood memories, possibly related to food, or children's secrets. This will naturally relieve some of the primary tension from revealing the secret. Give the man the opportunity to answer, to open up himself, to speak. Listen to it, focus on it. Make it clear how you appreciate his sincerity.

Gradually, you will feel trust and will be able to share even more intimate things and inner states. This is especially important for carriers of the sound-visual ligament of vectors, for whom mental and intellectual connections are the most important in life.

When there is an understanding of oneself and one's neighbor

Talking about inner states and feelings can bring loving people who deeply understand each other closer together. They understand the peculiarities of the psyche of a loved one, the reasons for his reactions and experiences. Such a deep recognition of each other occurs when both partners together undergo training in System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan.

The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-vector psychology» Svetlana Rumyantseva

Almost all relationships between a woman and a man begin with flirting. Flirting is an art of communication that every girl can master. It is not necessary to have a model appearance to seduce a man and gain favor. Flirting is present in all areas of life.

But, unfortunately, many girls commit unforgivable mistakes that lead to failure:

A short dress will conquer any man. Some girls believe that the shorter the skirt and the brighter the makeup, the more men will pay attention. But excessive openness repels men, in such girls there is no mystery and mystery. Of course, they are popular, but men do not take them seriously and.
Literate speech does not matter. This is not true. Excitement often makes it difficult to express thoughts correctly. To avoid looking ridiculous, pull yourself together and stop worrying. And, of course, do not use foul language in the conversation, this will immediately alienate the guy and the conversation will end before it even starts.
Unkempt hair. A neat hairstyle, beautiful hair color and unusual accessories play a big role in the perception of the image.
Talking about the past. Think about what you are talking about. No one is interested in hearing about your exes or your traumatic past. Apart from pity, this will not cause anything. Rather than talking nonsense, it is better to listen carefully to the man. They appreciate it.
Loud voice. It is neither seductive nor spectacular.

On an instinctive and intuitive level, women are fluent, but to achieve greater success, you need to constantly improve your skills and use female tricks.

Social activity

It is important for any person to realize and assert themselves. The more often you are around people, the more confident you feel. Every girl is pleased to catch admiring glances on herself, hear compliments and be in the spotlight. This gives strength and confidence. The ability to use flirting to achieve goals is a very important skill, which only socially adapted girls can fully master. So if you spend all your time in front of the TV or at the computer, think about how many important, pleasant and interesting moments you are losing. To master the art of flirting, you need to constantly train, even if you already have a boyfriend or husband. After all, flirting is just communication.

Carefully selected clothing

In everything you need to know when to stop. Neatness and neatness are the main principles of choosing clothes. It doesn't have to be expensive. Don't chase if it doesn't suit you. Choose what really suits you, don't forget about hairstyle, makeup and accessories to create a complete look. But remember that this should not be very conspicuous, but skillfully complement the mysterious image. Wear it for confidence.

Be self-reliant

If you want to meet a man, try not to be around your friends all the time. It is easier for men to decide to approach for acquaintance when you are alone (as well as for a woman), and not when the appraising glances of friends are directed at him.

Place to yourself

When you like a man, but he doesn't pay much attention to you, just smile at him or meet with eyes. After all, many men wait for a signal or the first step from women and perceive this as a call to action.

Body language is key to flirting

A smile and a look are the main weapons of women. This attracts men, because how can you resist beautiful eyes and a charming smile. Eyes are the windows of the soul.

Do not forget about gestures: run your hand through your hair, straighten an earring or bracelet, this will attract attention, and he will take it as a sign that you are ready and want to communicate.

Sensual moist lips -. No man can resist them. It is important to emphasize the lips, because during a conversation, like the eyes, the attention of the interlocutor is riveted to them.

Of course, men look at women's legs. The cross-legged position, especially if you are shod in, is eye-catching. If you are standing, do not spread your legs, the distance between your feet should be about 15 centimeters.

Correct posture and confident gait add to your stateliness and nobility.

Start a conversation first

It is quite difficult to take the first step, there is always a fear of not being liked, of doing something wrong or not saying something. Take courage and go ahead. You have to be erudite, follow the news, and books to keep up any conversation. For this, it is necessary to constantly develop. The one who starts the conversation first has the advantage, because you decide what to talk about. Be mysterious, do not answer clearly and clearly to all the questions of the man (just do not overdo it, otherwise he may become completely confused), he must want to continue the conversation in order to find out the answer to the question asked.

For flirting, you should not choose too serious topics, communication should be easy. But remember that men do not like talkative women, restrain yourself so that he does not perceive you as a radio. Be natural, but do not forget that you want to please the guy and attract him. Compliment the man. They love it.

Learn to read between the lines

Men know feminine tricks and ways to attract, they notice any action or movement. Men also have their own methods. It is rare to hear a specific proposal from a man. They try to covertly speak, but the task of the girl is to correctly understand what is meant. For example, if he invites you to the cinema, theater, cafe not right now, but tomorrow, most likely he has serious intentions. If the proposal is about tonight and sounds like “let's go see a movie, only a movie, nothing else,” you will understand what he means.

SMS flirting

Sometimes girls don't have the courage and determination to approach. Or acquaintances offer to introduce you to a man, but she is shy. Then you can use SMS communication. SMS flirting is also popular with married women who want attention. Write and send him an intriguing message to keep him interested. very addictive, you will not be able to break away from communication. Finally, you will also have a live talk.

Soft velvet female voice

This is an essential element of flirting. Speak calmly and quietly so that he listens to you (you don't need to whisper too much).

Touch

The most powerful element of flirting, they can be casual or targeted. Passing by a man, you can, as it were, accidentally touch, this will make it clear that you are ready for communication and open. Or, by asking a man to convey something, you can touch his hand. This indicates your interest. But it is worth using this technique very carefully, because some men will perceive it as a hint of sexual intimacy. If you do not yet know how to feel this line, it is better not to abuse touch. You can show interest in a man by approaching him, do not interrupt the man, listen carefully to everything that he says with the person concerned, even if it is not at all interesting to you.

For flirting to bring the desired results, you must clearly know, understand and accept your qualities. Be able to assess the situation and those around you, read non-verbal messages.

Walk away politely under some pretext (“I'm sorry, I need to make an important call”, “my friends are bored, see you later”).

How to tell if someone is flirting with you

Flirting can be recognized by certain characteristics. It manifests itself in facial expressions, words, movements, gestures. He will say about interest. But men flirt for several reasons: to get the girl they like, to play or have fun, or just to.

Behavior of a man who flirts: hands on a belt or on a belt buckle. He straightens his tie, watch, shirt, polishes. He turns his gaze to the lips, begins to breathe more often, the pupils dilate, eye contact is established, and a smile appears. Accidental touches are also a sign of male flirting. When flirting, a man may be overly attentive to a woman () in order to gain favor and trust. The man's voice will become quieter to force you to move closer and bend over. Men begin to ask a lot of questions and become curious.

Flirting as the art of communication between a man and a woman is an important part of the relationship, on which some moments of life depend, for example, the appearance of a second half. Thanks to flirting, a girl's life becomes brighter, richer and sometimes easier. After all, a charmed man is ready to help in a difficult situation. But in such a matter as flirting, you need to know when to stop, otherwise you will not just not attract male attention, but, on the contrary, push the man away and look funny. If you have a husband or boyfriend, and flirting is pleasant entertainment for you, do not go far, because after being carried away by this activity, you can simply (or a man's relationship, he can fall in love with you and wait for a response). Choose men carefully for flirting, because it is full of all sorts of "shots" from which you will soon want to get rid of, but it will be difficult to do it.

Invite your husband on a romantic date, take a walk around your favorite places, give praise, fill your family life.

But you can flirt not only with sexual connotations.

A person who knows how to flirt will find an approach to people of any age and social status. Sometimes, to achieve a goal, you need to be liked and charmed.

Follow a number of rules and you will succeed:

Think that there are no bad people, try to find good features in him, remember noble deeds (after all, there must have been such moments). This should be done when communicating with each person, because everyone has positive traits. This will help you build relationships correctly, find a common language and win over the person. And only then you will be able to smoothly and correctly turn the situation.
Often give people sincere compliments, praise, even if you just met. Be kind, look the other person in the eye, smile. Be relaxed, confident, and at ease. Such communication with people, perhaps, will lead to new acquaintances and partnerships.
When interacting with people, show an active but sincere interest in the other person. Take an interest in business, work, family. This will characterize you as a well-mannered, nice person, with whom it is pleasant to communicate and do business, which is important for business, and for working relationships. Another plus is that with such communication you attract kindness and success to yourself, as well as.

Remember to communicate naturally. Do not overdo it, if the interlocutor feels even a drop of falsehood, the efforts will be in vain. And the sensations from communication will be blurry, or even, the interlocutor will be repelled from you by false flattery.

The ability to flirt correctly gives a person a charging magnetism and attracts others. Compliments will put you in the spotlight. Flirt with men and women, with colleagues and friends, and even with people you don’t enjoy communicating with, but is required by duty. You will feel how nice it is to please people and feel admiration. Competently built flirting with others will help you in love, business and friendship.

Flirting is a mutual manifestation of sympathy for the opposite sex, which can lead to new useful acquaintances and improve mood.

12 February 2014

The feminine principle ("soul", she is) is intuition and premonitions, emotionality, the ability to love, receptivity to the beautiful and the irrational, various indefinite feelings and moods.

The masculine principle ("spirit", it is) "is responsible" for the rationality, organization and initiative, strength and activity.

This article will examine the psychology of communication between men and women. It is impossible to find a person in the world who would be endowed with only a “soul” or only one “spirit”, each has both, but often one of the principles is suppressed, oppressed. You can become a full-fledged, healthy person only if a balance is achieved, a harmonious coexistence of masculine and feminine principles - not opposed, but naturally complementing each other.

Psychology of communication between men and women

What is the difference between male and female psychology?

This difference does exist. But it only means that due to different attitudes, a man and a woman in a similar situation are likely to behave differently. After carefully reading all of the above, you will not find a hint that a man, for example, is less able to love or takes family values more lightly. "Instrumental style of thinking" and "callousness" are not just not synonyms, but fundamentally different concepts related to various spheres of the psyche.

Indeed, most men are wary of intimate conversations and clarification of relationships (most, but, nevertheless, not all and not always!). Perhaps in a situation that a woman wants to discuss, a man would prefer to do something. On this basis, mutual misunderstanding often arises. One of the most common female complaints: "He never tells me that he loves me!" Unfortunately, ladies often conclude that they are really not loved.

And a man may simply not enter into his head that such words should be pronounced aloud: after all, it goes without saying that he loves! What he does, he does precisely out of love - he equips the house or takes the family on vacation, cooks dinner or leads the family to the cinema ... to confess his love, because for him to love means "doing something."

As for intimate conversations, believe me: the need for them among men is no less than among women. But the accents in such communication are slightly different: men, as a rule, still put more emphasis on some facts than on a detailed discussion of the slightest emotional nuances. Nevertheless, people of both sexes equally need intimacy, trust, the opportunity to share grief, joy, present, future, and memories with a loved one ...

Features of communication between men and women

What is the difference between male and female communication?

We will not evaluate these forecasts, and even more so we will not give our own predictions. So far, for most (but not all!) Women, interpersonal relationships are of primary importance, and for most (but not all!) Men - their own individuality and efficiency. These are psychological differences given by nature, but by themselves they do not determine either the character of people, or their capabilities and abilities, or their fate. The fact that men value substantive activity more and women value interpersonal relationships does not mean that men are less sociable. But in this area, differences are noticeable.

How does a man communicate with other men?

The male style of communication from early childhood looks more active and substantive, but at the same time - more competitive and conflicting than the female one. Moreover, for a boy (as well as for an adult man) it is more important what exactly he does together with other people, and for a girl (woman) - individual sympathy for communication partners.

The communication of men can be explained using a rather simple example: a "real male company" can consist of people who actually know very little about each other. They are united, for example, by a common love of fishing or regular general trips to the bathhouse. When they meet, they talk about exactly what they are doing together - they discuss the catch or the quality of fishing equipment, tell each other different stories or argue about the advantages of a Russian steam room over a Finnish sauna, and so on.

How do women communicate with each other?

Women are much less likely to form such "hobby clubs". Women's communication takes place with those they like, and this "like" is based on emotional closeness, and not on common interests. The subject of "typically female conversation", as a rule, is not activity, but relationships - who said what, how the other reacted, and so on.

Male communication is characterized by greater emotional restraint, women express their emotions and feelings more freely and fully, they have a need to share their experiences with someone earlier, as well as the ability to empathize.

By the way, let us note here one peculiarity. Despite the fact that, in general, the masculine style of communication involves more emotional restraint than the feminine, men express aggression much more openly. Latent hostility is characteristic of women. There is nothing paradoxical in this, because aggressiveness is considered a "masculine" and not a "feminine" quality, and female aggressive behavior is condemned by society much more severely than male.

Features of female communication

If a woman has her own opinion on any issue and it differs from the opinion of her husband, then at least she is threatened with accusation that she is "carrying all nonsense." And no matter how logical and sound arguments she gives, they will be called "nonsense" if they do not coincide with his point of view.

Women like to grumble (nag their husbands)

Many women admit that, without getting their children or partner to answer their question, they try to convey their thought in a different way. It seems to them that they did not receive an answer because they did not manage to formulate their thought clearly enough, and they are making new attempts to establish contact and communication with household members.

A woman can repeat her thought over and over.

As a result, they say about her that she constantly grumbles or nags her husband. But an analysis of the situation shows: she had to repeat what she said, because those to whom she spoke ignored her appeal.

Women are too emotional and unable to reason logically

In a home environment, where a man is usually much less talkative, a woman will again be accused of talkativeness - after all, all these women's conversations interfere with his concentrated silence.

Women love to gossip

Female communication, as a rule, proceeds in a much freer, relaxed manner than a conversation in a mixed company. We enjoy chatting, talking and laughing. Dale Spender's research shows that men feel threatened when only women are involved. This is why women's conversations are often criticized, and one of the favorite ways to criticize a man is to label them as "gossips."

What is more important in a conversation: logic or emotion?

By suppressing emotions in an attempt to follow cold masculine logic, we are doing ourselves a disservice.

We support the belief of men that logic in communication is more important than emotionality.

We stop believing in the value of emotional experiences.

We allow men to insist that an issue can be raised and discussed solely on its terms.

Men feel much more confident in communication, using logic (even sometimes suffering from its absence!). Therefore, by reducing the conversation to only logical reasoning (that is, depriving it of the emotional component), we ourselves give the man an obvious advantage.

If we women want to be ourselves and preserve the value of emotions, we must emphasize: logic and emotion belong to the same realm, and there is room for both in conversation.

Be confident in your communication skills

When you hear criticism, don't take it. Maintain confidence in your communication skills.

Communication is two main processes: we speak and we listen. More precisely, we transmit a message and receive a message. When a person speaks, he conveys a message, and not only verbally, but also through non-verbal communication. Everything plays a role here: the manner of behaving, the attitude to what is happening, the emotional mood. When a person listens, he receives and interprets the received message, taking into account not only the verbal but also the non-verbal content of the message.

Communication between a man and a woman

The need of a woman for real communication with a man

If you're looking for a serious, deep relationship, talk to him about your need for real communication. You've probably tried this conversation before, and try again. Tell him that you need more time when you can be together to talk about serious things that matter to you, issues that are important to both of you. He may react to your proposal quite normally, but since by this very question you are actually already attempting a serious conversation, be prepared for resistance.

You may be accused of being "crazy", being too "selfish" and "asking too much." Don't believe anything. On the proposal to start communication, you may be greeted with stone silence. Ridicule or banter. Or your request may be the impetus that will provoke him to sit down at the computer or lock himself in front of the TV, where he will sit until he decides that you have “passed it”. Worth a try anyway.

Of course, there are other ways to assertively and confidently state your demands, but this one seems to be the most appropriate as a first response. If serious, intelligent communication is really important to you, think about other steps in this direction.

Look for new sources of communication