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If he is offended and silent. Sexual relations play an important role. What to do if the guy is silent and does not want to talk

Resolving conflicts and mutual grievances is an extremely delicate process. There are many nuances that it is desirable to take into account. The main question, of course, is how to return relations to normal and is it worth it?

The first step is to assess the situation impartially. So the guy got offended. As a result, his behavior has been reduced to a complete disregard for the girl, he does not talk, does not answer calls, pretends that she does not exist at all. The girl, in turn, does not always understand why this happened, or sincerely believes that the guy's reaction does not correspond to the degree of her misconduct. Sometimes, on the contrary, she perfectly understands that she is to blame, but does not know what to do. In order to better navigate the current situation, it is worth considering several characteristic causes and lines of development of the conflict.

Line one - justified resentment

What's happening

This is the most obvious version of the conflict situation, but not the easiest. The girl said, did (or did not do) something that hurt the guy to the core. He was so shocked that he could not find the strength and desire in himself even to talk to the girl about this and about anything in general. In this case, it is necessary to assess the "scale of the catastrophe", namely, to find out whether the situation is fixable, whether it is possible to change what has been done, and if so, how.

If the consequences are irreversible, again consider whether they are compatible with subsequent friendly or personal communication. Because if the offense objectively goes beyond and makes further communication at the same level impossible, then the girl has few options for behavior in this case. But specific actions will be discussed below. At this stage, the goal is the most complete analysis.

When building a line of her behavior in such a situation, a girl should understand that such a sharp reaction from the guy says that she is not indifferent to him. There is no need to defiantly ignore a person for whom you do not feel any emotions. However, there is no need to drag out the situation in the hope that everything will resolve itself, because the guy can either really establish himself in the idea that the girl is not worth talking to and cross her out of the list of interests, or forgive the offense, but actually hide it somewhere deeper. And both of these options are undesirable, because there is nothing worse than unforgiven, accumulated grievances.

What to do

The best, or rather, the only correct tactic in this case is consonant with the meaning of the phrase "the sword does not cut the guilty head." It is necessary to ask for forgiveness, and even if the relationship is objectively not subject to restoration. If there is an opportunity to correct the consequences of an error, it should be used. However, even to apologize is not so easy if a person has set himself the goal of not noticing the interlocutor at any cost. Therefore, to achieve the best effect, you should break the upcoming event into several smaller tasks and solve them sequentially.

First of all, it is necessary to formulate your speech in advance so as not to get confused, not to say too much, not to turn it into a series of excuses for your own act, which, rather, will aggravate the situation. In addition, this will give confidence: even if the conversation goes in a different direction, you won’t have to mumble, choose words. Having prepared in this way, you can begin to translate your plan into reality. The next task is to get the guy's attention so that he listens to the apologies and can make sure that the repentance is sincere and conscious. To do this, you can tell him, not paying attention to the complete disregard on his part, something like: "You can not answer anything, but I will still say that I was going to, and then you yourself will decide what to do." Or, for example: "Even if we now completely stop talking, I have to tell you." The main thing is to pronounce the introductory phrase confidently, making it clear to the guy that this is not an attempt to sort things out, justify yourself, and finally complain about the circumstances. This is precisely the summing up of what happened, the last point on the part of the girl, after which the decision remains with him. It is advisable to add something like "it won't take long" and really not drag out the speech.

The main step is repentance. Do not apologize, as this is appropriate when it comes to causing inconvenience. If a person has been seriously offended, it is necessary to ask for her forgiveness. There is a qualitative difference between these concepts, and it is very much felt in the process of presentation. It is not desirable to stretch the monologue, in fact, it should reflect three main points: “I admit that I did”, “I admit that I was wrong”, “I apologize”. At the same time, you can focus on the fact that his decision is really of great importance.

The main thing is to remember that asking for forgiveness for a really hurt offense is an extremely worthy act that cannot be considered humiliation or spinelessness. Even if the relationship cannot be restored, it will still bring great benefits to the one who committed it.

Line two - "vulnerable" guy

What's happening

This model of the situation is not typical for a guy, however, it also takes place. A guy can be cheerful, sociable, charismatic, whatever, but for some reason, in dealing with a girl, he often enters into minor conflicts, now and then expresses dissatisfaction, finds fault, is offended. Sometimes a girl is perplexed, is it really worth quarreling over this? One gets the feeling that the guy is simply naughty. Quarrels with him become commonplace. True, and they are resolved quite simply, the only question is whether it is worth continuing such communication. But this is at the discretion of the girl.

Usually, this behavior of a guy indicates that he lacks attention and recognition from a girl. He expects more from communicating with her, while she may not even know about it, considering her behavior to be normal and surprised every time the guy gets angry or offended because of a trifle again. Most often, the reason for this is a deep self-doubt, complexes, childhood psychological trauma. If a girl is interested in continuing the relationship, then you can learn how to behave with such a guy, help him without indulging.

What to do

There are two ways out here - either end the relationship, or adjust to it. If you choose the second option, then you should remember that you should not take such grievances to heart, all the more so every time you get upset because of them. However, in order to learn how to build the right relationship with such a guy, it is necessary to bring him out of these states in a timely manner, because if you do not pay attention to his offended appearance for a long time, he will be offended even more by this. Of course, this is very tiring, but it’s better to immediately tell him something like “well, stop being silent, you know that I didn’t mean to offend you, on the contrary, I think that you ...” and here it is advisable to insert something positive, for example "...very talented."

Line three - causeless resentment

What's happening

Perhaps the most unpleasant of the possible options for the development of the conflict. It is characterized by the absurdity of the situation, but only at first glance. Its main characteristic is that the girl does not understand at all what the guy was offended by. At the same time, he shows the maximum degree of neglect, refuses to talk about the reasons for his offense and generally talk. A girl most often makes a natural mistake, starting to sort out in her mind all her possible misconduct, voluntary and involuntary sins. Often he even suspects third parties of slandering himself, while it is necessary to think not about what he was offended by, but why he did it.

However, before drawing conclusions, you should objectively analyze your actions, if as a result you can find out the reason for the guy’s offense, then the situation is automatically transferred to the first category of “reasonable offenses”. If not, then the following is likely to happen.
The guy unilaterally decided to interrupt communication (there can be any reason), but he did not have the courage to do it honestly. In addition, this rather impartial role of the initiator of a break in relations is not to everyone's taste, therefore, if possible, they try to avoid it. It is much more prestigious to leave a relationship as a dignified victim of perfidious deceit/insult.

This situation is characterized by the following symptoms. Firstly, the guy categorically refuses to tell the reason for his "offense". The degree of his reaction is hypertrophied, in other words, he is so “disappointed” that it is even difficult to imagine what can be done to cause such a reaction, it seems that he is overacting. Secondly, any attempts to find out through third parties, mutual friends, the reason for such a reaction end in failure - he is so “shocked” that he does not want to talk about it with anyone.

What to do

In this case, breathe a sigh of relief. Such behavior can be translated into an accessible language as the phrase “I want to end my relationship with you, but I’m so cowardly that I’m not able to do it humanly, please show indulgence to my weakness, let me leave with at least a drop of dignity, if not in front of yourself, but in front of others. Of course, this is unpleasant, but not as much as continuing a relationship with such a person.

The main thing is to completely, that is, absolutely rid yourself of remorse and the search for "a share of your guilt." Staying after a breakup as a treacherous offender is also not worth it. To do this, you need to tell the guy that his whole plan is completely obvious, further simulation is meaningless. Then stop communicating with him and not regret it for a second.

If a man is offended, it is always sad. As they do not assure us that "darlings scold - they only amuse themselves," but all the same, we all understand that quarrels and conflicts do not bring anything good into our lives. And insults, especially long-term ones, are so exhausting that you want to howl like a wolf.

There is an opinion that all men are strong and rarely offended. And that resentment, just like tears, is not for real men. And at the same time, for sure, many women can testify to the opposite: male resentment exists, and even what! And this is still very good if it is short-lived, but there are also reverse cases when a man is able to hold a grudge for many years, constantly remembering the moment of insult, reproaching them. It’s also good if he was offended by someone else, for example, a colleague at work, a friend or boss. And if you hold a grudge against a girlfriend, girlfriend or wife? Then very often life in such a pair turns into a literal walk through all the circles of hell.

What to do? How to get rid of his grievances, and how to help him not be offended?

He got mad at me! - What now? Well, as much as possible!

A woman living with a touchy man thinks that at some point she will go crazy from his picky insults. Of course, she understands that she is not sinless. And indeed, it happens that circumstances develop in such a way that she would be offended by herself if she were in his place. But after all, no one will cancel the ability of people to forgive, and even more so if you love. In addition, after all, he himself can also make mistakes, do something bad, ugly, unpleasant. So what now, in a grudge against each other to sit all the time? All this is the logic of a woman living with a touchy man. But this logic does not allow to cope with the obvious truth - no matter what, he is offended, pouting, reproaches.

It often happens like this: a woman is both smart and beautiful, and good for everyone. All those around her admire her, men envy the owner of such a treasure. And he, the owner himself, does not seem to notice this - he reproaches, sadizes, takes offense. What is the reason for this behaviour?

But, Attention, in fact, such a woman does not even realize that she knows only a small fraction of the grievances of her man. He hides most of them in the depths of his soul and does not talk about them, but sits, as if in a shell, alone with his resentment and waits for them to come to him with apologies. And the problem is that the actions of a woman or any other object of resentment has nothing to do with the fact that he is offended. Here the matter is different. Completely different.

The psychology of male resentment, or why does he take offense at me?

Looping on grievances, constant reproaches - this is a sign of human suffering. Not a single joyful, happy person will be unreasonably offended by everything in the world. And if there is a reason, he will be able to forgive and understand. If he is constantly offended, then he suffers.

Why? There can be many reasons.

Anyone can be offended if there is a significant reason for this. But remembering an insult, fixating on it for a long time and so much so that it starts to slow down his whole life, can only be a person with an anal vector. By nature, he has a good memory and his desires, by and large, are more turned to the past than to the present. In addition, the anal person is highly dependent on his own experience - he is sure that it is in his own experience that the whole truth of life lies. Therefore, such people, because of one offense, can develop a whole complex, for example, from an offense against one woman, into an offense against all women. And these are already strong, painful changes in the psyche, which may not allow a person to live normally. After all, how will you come into contact with a woman, if all women are real fools? And no one has a chance to convince him.

If he also has a visual vector, then he is prone to buildups, emotional outbursts. So, having heard an offensive, as it seemed to him, word, he will strengthen it, as if in resonance, each time exaggerating its meaning more and more. Before you even blink an eye, and in his eyes you have already committed an action that, in his opinion, “is not worthy of a person.”

If he also has a sound vector, then his vindictiveness can become a real sound idea for him. Resentment can turn into an idea for revenge - such a person can hold a grudge and hatch a plan for years on how to take revenge on the offenders.

But all this- only on condition that a person is not sufficiently realized, unhappy. Otherwise, he will throw all his energy into the cause, and resentment will take up a much smaller place in his life. Therefore, it is very important not to react to the husband's resentment, but to "dig deeper", to understand the cause of his suffering.

What to do if the guy is offended?

You can often hear about a girl "He once again took offense at me. Zadolbal already! What should I do? Can I leave him?" Wait to quit, because your next partner is likely to be just as touchy as this one. Not because it's fate or fate, but simply because running away from problems is not an option. But if you try to help your loved one get out of a state of constant resentment, then such a couple can live in love and harmony for long, happy years of life. Sometimes parting may be the only right way out, but to know this for sure, you need to understand the state of the vectors of your young man, to understand what his problem is. Maybe a lot can be fixed?

"A year ago we quarreled. The guy was offended. I was offended. They fled to the corners. I took a shower and forgave. And he still remembers. Well, why can't he forget?" It is necessary to understand that your man has other desires and properties that are different from you. By nature, we are attracted to opposites and nothing can be done about it. A man with an anal vector often chooses a skin or urethral woman as a pair. And these people never hold grudges and forget them in just a couple of hours. This does not mean that they are somehow better than him. It's just a different psychology, it is arranged differently.

It is necessary to understand that frequent resentment is evidence of a negative psychological state of a man. Severe condition, like a disease. You can get him out of it, but not by whining: "Why are you offended? Are you offended again? Well, don't be offended by me! Well, I didn't do it on purpose! Well, I won't do it again!" It won't do anything.

There is only one way to get rid of resentment: through the realization of a person in society. If a man has a good job, if he is valued and respected, if he constantly develops and improves himself, many of his grievances will come to naught or will decrease significantly. Much depends on its initial development, on the degree of awareness of one's problems, on implementation in a family and a couple.

The problem of modern society is that anal men often cannot be fully realized. It is very difficult for them to find their place in life, to find a job where all their qualities can be applied. But this does not mean that there is no place for them. On the contrary, society needs them, you just need to know which way to go, how to act. And it is here that it is very important that next to a man there is a woman who can push, direct, help him find himself. This can be done by a woman who has knowledge of

In progress lining up relations with a person of the opposite sex, we try to understand the peculiarities of his thinking and the reasons for certain actions. You can often hear that it is almost impossible to understand a woman, because her mood is constantly changing, and the words she said 10 minutes ago can mean absolutely nothing at the moment.

However, if you understand nuances, it can be clearly understood that male psychology is also special. To understand a man, it is not enough to ask him questions and analyze his answers, because it often happens that a man says something completely different from what he thinks. Here it is important to observe, analyze and build on generally accepted psychological facts. Men's actions can be bewildering, because sometimes it is difficult to understand even for him. In order to improve relations with a beloved young man, it is important to understand what he can be offended by, and what words and actions in his address should sometimes be abandoned. Men's resentment also exists, like women's, the truth is veiled and has a hidden character.

Despite the fact that many are sure that men are not penetrating and are not offended as often as women, in fact they do it even more often than the fair sex. It's just not as noticeable because of their restraint and the need to control themselves, which they were told about in early childhood. Only no one can turn off emotions, and they are just as vulnerable as the fair sex, just for slightly different reasons.

Why do men get offended

There are no such people who would not be offended by anything. Of course, there are less touchy and vulnerable, and there are more. The former are distinguished by high self-esteem, they know their strengths and weaknesses and do not waste time clarifying relationships or experiences that do not benefit, but cause harm, rightly believing that this is harmful and pointless. They were lucky to grow up in a family where parents loved each other and their child, without criticizing and without destroying his self-esteem with indifference and rudeness. Or they managed to survive internal problems, grow up and take responsibility for their lives.

They experience negative emotions, like everyone else, but they immediately deal with them, removing their source, resolving the issue that has arisen, and without putting it off for later, turning them into insults in order to consider themselves a victim who can derive certain benefits from this.

Those who are overly touchy can take offense at anything. Their low self-esteem leads them to get what they want due to their victim status. And to get it, as they think, is possible only if someone offended them. They will not deal with what happened, why they were upset by someone's words or actions. The main thing is that someone hurt them, whether it is true or not. Therefore, no matter how you behave with them, no matter how hard you try not to offend, correct, adapt, such neurotics with the victim syndrome, even women, even men, will always find a reason for resentment to manipulate.

But, despite the individual characteristics of the human psyche, any man is offended by the fact that one way or another calls into question his male pride, hurts pride, strikes at self-esteem. This may be a mockery of his social status, position in society, achievements in the professional field or personal life. Any comparisons with other men will easily cause him a serious insult. And it doesn't matter that it could be said in order to provoke, to push for achievements, for new achievements and for the implementation of the plans.

They do not look for a double meaning in what they hear, so they will not understand such hints, it is better to say it directly, although this is also quite dangerous. They will not hear about what the other man did, and he should try, but they will hear that they are losers, not as successful, punchy, businesslike and tenacious as the one they are talking about.

Tell him directly that it's time to take up career growth - he will understand this as doubts about his competence and male viability. Therefore, it is better to start a topic about his career, earnings and plans if you are ready to make a decision after his answer: accept him as he is, or leave, since he does not suit you. After all, a person does not do it because he does not want to, and not because someone did not tell him that it is time to take up his mind and do the right thing, according to another. And he has every right to do so.


Attempts to convince him that he lives wrong will cause him anger, resentment and a sense of humiliation. From such control and criticism, he could easily get tired as a child, and he was clearly looking not for his parents, but for his beloved woman.

They don't like it when their words are questioned. They are offended by such neglect and attempts to belittle their status. Despite the changes that have taken place in society, men still want their word to be the last.

Too vulnerable men do not understand when women demand from them what they did not ask for out loud and, having not received it, they are offended. They do not know how to read minds, and the fair sex often believes that they are obliged to immediately do what they want, they hinted a hundred times. This attitude offends some members of the stronger sex, since unfair claims become a signal for them that they are not interesting in themselves, but only as those who can do something.

They are offended by ingratitude, unwillingness to notice the little things that they do for the family. Let these be their duties, but everyone wants to hear words of gratitude, to feel that he is appreciated and noticed how he tries for the sake of relationships.



Why do men resent women

  • The reasons why men are offended depend on their age, character and the environment in which they grew up.
  • Men who have high self-esteem will not accept rudeness and indecent jokes. They are too fixated on maintaining their status and may consider trying to make fun of themselves as an attempt to humiliate them.
  • They don't like it when their ability to be faithful is called into question. Distrust of them on the part of the beloved is a signal that he is not as good as he used to think, and few people will like this, especially when he does not agree with this.
  • Criticism with or without, attempts to prove one's case with the transition to personalities greatly annoy the representatives of the stronger sex. Because they find themselves in the position of a defensive person who has allowed others to criticize him, as if he is weak and helpless.
  • They will also be offended by attempts to make decisions and do important things without consulting them. Everyone needs help, but when they ask for it or at least know about it, and not as if he himself is not able to resolve the issue or means so little in the life of his beloved or family that a woman considers it possible, without consulting with him, to make a decision.
  • It is unpleasant for him when his parents or relatives are discussed in a negative way. It hurts and offends. After all, he is an integral part of his family, and he has no other, which means that he is not only offended that he could not protect his loved ones from offensive words, but he himself turned out to be so bad, since he has such a family. It is because of the disagreement between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law that so many families break up. It is unacceptable to criticize the family, because for many it is the same as criticizing themselves.
  • They don’t like it, and when his woman openly despises or expresses dissatisfaction with what he is interested in, she does it in her free time. This is a reflection of his inner world, and if she does not accept this, then she does not accept his inner world and desires. And then it becomes incomprehensible why she lives next to a person, a part of which she does not like so much. He begins to doubt himself, in her. If he loves her very much, he is able to refuse what irritates her so much, but at the same time he will cease to be himself. And often the women themselves then complain that he turned into some kind of Oblomov, preferring to constantly lie on the couch, forgetting that he became like that because of her, for the sake of love and unwillingness to feel inferior because of his hobbies.
  • They are not satisfied when loved ones talk about what is happening to them, criticize them both behind their backs and in the presence of others, complain and seek support. This is annoying and annoying. Few people like it when everyone knows everything and at the same time you have to make excuses that you really are not such a terrible person. And even if a man has normal self-esteem and does not consider it necessary to justify himself to someone, such behavior still humiliates him, because his beloved decided that they are definitely not capable of resolving the misunderstandings that have arisen without outside advice.
  • Cheating on the part of a loved one not only offends, it deals a crushing blow to his self-confidence, in what he does, in his male solvency. More terrible for a man, and for a woman can only be the death of a loved one.


If you want to keep a family in which everyone will be comfortable, remember that men are just as vulnerable as women. They, too, are hurt and offended, unpleasant and hard when they are not understood. And it is much harder for them to cope with this than for the fair sex, since it is not customary for them to complain and sort things out. Unpleasant words, memories, unfair reproaches do not disappear anywhere, remaining inside, and being unlived and unspoken. They continue to affect his well-being, health and behavior, poisoning his life. Therefore, it is important for women to be more attentive to their loved ones in order to teach them to express existing claims, and not save up inside, and once again follow what they say so as not to give them a reason to accumulate this negativity, pretending that everything is fine with them. .

Hello dear readers of my blog! Today I would like to talk with you about male grievances, what to do if a man is offended, what he can react to so sharply. When a discord occurs in a couple, with the right approach, you can beautifully get out of the situation, gain experience and not face similar stories in the future. If you choose the wrong tactics, you can greatly spoil the relationship.

What is resentment?

I am absolutely sure that it is impossible to offend a person. He chooses to be offended or not. Resentment is a person's reaction to our actions or words. But you should not throw off all responsibility on the one who was offended. It is in your power not to commit such acts that can greatly offend another person. Two people are involved in such a story, so the responsibility lies on the shoulders of both parties.

The psychologist's advice is to watch your words and actions. If you are well aware of the things that can hurt your partner, don't do it. If he repeatedly told you that he doesn’t like it when you call him “musik”, for example, and you continue to do this, then be sure that sooner or later the man will give out a reaction. And it's good if it's just an insult.

Sometimes we unconsciously do things that hurt others. Maybe we did not know that a person is serious about the issue of milk in coffee, for example. In order to avoid such stories, you should just talk more often. On any topic, most importantly, honestly and frankly. So that it doesn’t turn out so that everything is quite the opposite.

You definitely shouldn’t throw tantrums and scandals without understanding what the essence of the problem is. Do not raise your tone, do not evoke emotions, do not threaten or try to manipulate. Just figure out what is happening in the life of a loved one. Perhaps now, more than ever, he needs support, but he does not know how to ask for it from you.

What can hurt a man

Remember that all men are different, they are not divided into categories and types. Each of them has its own inner and rich world. The right approach for one man will not be true for others. Yes, I will not argue, there are common points. But the same is true for women. Can you classify yourself as a certain category of women?

There are millions of situations, words and deeds that can offend a man. And only you can figure out what happened in your case. If a man is offended by a woman, then she did something wrong, as he would like. Maybe you didn't consult him before buying something expensive. Or he is silent because you speak quickly, out of place, too much and not on business.

If the faithful left the house without saying a word, then the first thing you should think about is why this happened. Do not shout after him: well, get out or something like that. If you do not want to quarrel, then consider your actions, your words. Try to reproduce the last conversation. Remember what you could have done that greatly hurt the man you love.

Also, don't forget about your social circle. A man can be hurt not only by your words and actions. If a friend allows herself quite frivolous communication, or a colleague loudly discusses your man in front of him, then all this can play a cruel joke on you. Your relationship with a man should not concern anyone but yourself. Therefore, try to convey to your girlfriends that discussing intimate moments is obscene. And don't go into every detail yourself.

To apologize

First of all, if the guy is offended and you know the reason, then you should ask for forgiveness for your act, explain why you did it. Talk to him honestly and openly. Let him tell you what exactly hurt him, what he would no longer want to hear from you, or what your actions were unpleasant to him.

When a man is very offended, ignores you, does not speak for several days, then you need not only to ask for forgiveness. Here you have to completely reconsider your behavior, understand what was the mistake. In this case, you first need to capture his attention. So that you can talk calmly, explain all the points.

Remember that honest and calm conversations work wonders. Swearing and quarrels only breed more resentment and scandals. If you are ready to hear your man, if he is ready to talk honestly with you, if you love and appreciate each other, then you can deal with any problem.

If a loved one is constantly offended with or without reason, then you should seriously think about it. Is it really your problem? Maybe a man is trying to convey something to you in this way? Or maybe it's just his personality.

Never forget that happiness is always with you. You are that happiness. A partner is an assistant in building love and harmony. Appreciate every moment spent together. Don't be afraid to talk to each other.
I hope you make the right decision and can handle any situation.

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