Love and respect for the parents of the work. Synopsis of the conversation with the children of the preparatory group “Love and respect for parents are, without any doubt, sacred feelings. Different points of view of parents and children

20.09.2019

Ecology of life. Children: What mistakes do parents make when raising children? What are they doing wrong? Why, instead of respect, they face ...

How to teach children to respect their parents? What mistakes do parents make when raising children? What are they doing wrong? Why, instead of respect, do they face the selfishness of children? The authority of the parents has long been destroyed. What should be done in this situation?

I think these questions are of concern to everyone who has children. Very often in relations with them, we feel their affection and love, but we do not see manifestations of self-respect.

Educational program for parents

The character of the child is a cast of the character of the parents; it develops in response to their character.

Erich Fromm, German psychoanalyst, philosopher

Respect for another

We all subconsciously understand the difference between love and respect, although it can be difficult to explain it in words.

I would like to start by saying that children are our mirrors... Whether we like to admit this fact or not, it is so.

And if our children treat us disrespectfully, dismissively and stop caring about us, then this is only because we once treated them in the same way.

You may say, “This is not true. I have devoted my whole life to the child. " Maybe, but children are very sensitive not to what you are doing, but to what you feel deeply in your soul in relation to them.

And who told you that the child needed you to devote yourself and your life to him?

Let's try to understand the concepts of “respect” and “love”, as well as how you can teach children to respect their parents.

Respect is primarily about recognizing that the other person does not belong to you.

This is not easy even in relation to adults, and it is even more difficult to perceive children this way.

A child who has been in the womb for nine months is sure that it belongs to him. She is his property.

The woman also considers the child to be her part.

In such a relationship, it can be extremely difficult to get rid of the feeling of possessiveness. But this is our path - through closeness and a sense of belonging to each other, to gain psychological autonomy, to recognize the right of the other to be separate from us.

The process of separation is always associated with certain experiences and sufferings, it is based on a deep grief that must be lived, letting go of your illusion about the possibility of owning another person. It is necessary to say goodbye not only to this desire, but also to the hopes for its realization.

Forgiveness and understanding of this usually come after a certain struggle, attempts to direct the flow of events in the desired direction. Recognizing our helplessness and powerlessness to change anything, we are able to accept the most painful experiences: the rejection of another person and the love that we want to receive from him.

How difficult it is to realize that close people do not belong to us, how we want to establish complete control over their lives.After all, you certainly know better what they need ...

And what is most important is what you want ... And you so want to embed the other into your image of the world. How difficult it is to separate from the other and see in him really the OTHER, and not a part of yourself.

Family Respect

A child is a rational creature, he knows well the needs, difficulties and obstacles of his life.

Janusz Korczak, Polish educator and writer

At what point do you need to start perceiving a child as a separate person from us?

From the moment of birth!

He is physically separated from us, and this fact informs our consciousness that the child is no longer a part of our body. The umbilical cord has been cut, but psychological separation has not yet taken place. The entire path of a child's development is aimed at gradual separation from the mother.

The child begins to crawl, take the first steps - at these moments nature itself helps us to realize that he is separating from us. First, we feel the separation physically. The preparation of the soul begins.

And by the time the child is three years old, the position "I myself" begins to form... For the first time he does not obey us, does not agree with parental requirements. It is during this period that respect is born.

For the first time, the child begins to test his abilities when performing certain tasks.

If his parents scornfully treat his independence, laugh at him, do not allow him to do anything, emphasize that he is too small or he has “not hands, but hooks,” then what kind of respect can we talk about?

Children can be taught to respect their parents only when the father and mother themselves respect the wishes, interests and opinions of the child.

The kid says that he does not want to eat porridge, and his mother does not even notice his words. He refuses to put on an unloved jacket, and his mother again does not pay attention to his arguments. But you can offer your child a choice of 2-3 dishes and ask what he would prefer. It's the same with clothes.

Then the baby will have the feeling that he can choose and that his opinion is taken into account. And the mother will still be able to offer the child something useful and pleasant.

If you learn to come to compromises and do not believe that your position is the only correct one, then the child's pride will not be hurt, and his reactions to criticism and comments will be adequate and mature in the future. And inside an adult, a small child will not suffer, whose opinion has never been taken into account and is not taken into account.

How to find compromises with your child? For example, if in the morning you need to run to kindergarten, and the child is sitting and watching TV and is not going anywhere, invite him to watch the program for another 10 minutes while you clean the kitchen, and after that, whether you like it or not, you will have to go.

Many mothers who have experienced pressure from parents in childhood begin to raise their child by the opposite method, which also gives rise to problems, but of a different plan. The kid, not feeling his own and maternal boundaries, grows up with a sense of permissiveness and therefore is not able to learn to respect others. He does not develop a sense of the boundaries of his and his mother's space. He does not understand where he is, and where is mom.

Permissiveness and satisfaction of all the child's desires reinforce his position of omnipotence, which is inevitable and correct in the first six months. However, if a child is throwing tantrums on the street, and you do not know what to do about it, then in this case you need to make the child understand where the line of acceptable behavior passes.

If it is customary in the family to make fun of each other, sarcastically, let go of taunts, belittle the importance of the other, doubt each other's abilities, this is perceived as the norm. And the child absorbs the atmosphere in which he grows up.

If parents do not respect each other and the child, then he will never respect them. He may be afraid of them, but real respect is far from here.

Respecting another person means not violating their personal boundaries.(do not look into his phone, computer, diary, diary without permission). But many parents do not consider it necessary to knock on the children's room before entering, believing that they cannot have secrets. But this is an encroachment on the personal territory of the child.

Parents can shamelessly interrupt the kid when he is going about his business, and demand that he give up everything, just because it's time for lunch. Or they unceremoniously switch the television channel that the child was watching. Will he respect his parents with such an attitude?

A respectful attitude towards family and friends can also serve as an example of showing respect for a child. If, as soon as the door is closed behind the guests, someone in the house begins to discuss them, gossip, then what kind of respect for others can we talk about?

Besides, each family should have its own rituals that show respect for family celebrations and traditions.

For example, at the table, a wife may serve a plate of food to her husband first, bring him tea while he looks through the newspapers, meet at the door, hug and kiss - all these are expressions of respect. And if, without stopping from her business, she mutters discontentedly: “Warm up the food myself, dinner is on the table,” - where is the expression of respect?

The husband should also show gratitude to his wife: thank for dinner, kiss, hug, offer help around the house.

Only such relationships in the family will form respect for the parents in the child.

Conditions for respect

Respect deserves those people who, regardless of the situation, time and place, remain the same as they really are.

M. Yu. Lermontov

Respect is a feeling that is least influenced by time, as opposed to love.

For many, the concepts of love and respect are closely intertwined, and they believe that if they love, they automatically respect. No, it’s not like that.

Love is born with feelings and lives in the heart.

Respect is born of the mind and lives in the head.

Respect implies a certain distance.And if we are talking about true love, then, of course, it arises from respect, when in the minds of partners there is a clear understanding that the spouse is not his continuation.

Dependency is always based on the desire to merge with the object, dissolve in a partner or dissolve it in oneself.Nobody even remembers any borders.

Submitting to reason, we always find qualities for which a person can be respected. It seems to us that respect does not arise from scratch. You can always respect for something, but you can and should love just like that.

Of course, we respect people for a certain character, for some personal qualities, for achievements, for everything that a person is given as a result of his own efforts and work. This is what is acquired during life, or what is given from birth.

In order for a child to respect himself in the future and be respected by others, parents must reveal his abilities.

You need to know well the capabilities and inclinations of your child, and Do not try to impose on him what you want. Watch! Notice his predispositions and help develop them, try to respect the individual characteristics of your child.

Sometimes a picture created in your head does not allow you to accept another as he is, just because this image does not fit into your ideas and dreams.

If the child is slow, do not make fun of this quality, because it can be very useful when doing some meticulous work. If, on the contrary, the child is restless, then this can be useful to him in vigorous activity.

We often perceive children as our property and do not want to hear anything about their desires. As soon as the boundaries between you and your child are blurred, then there can be no question of any respect on his part.

Respect is, first of all, keeping distance and respect for the personal boundaries of another.

If you need to be as close as possible with your child, and you do not have your own fulfilled life, then he will not respect you, because you are too attached to him. Respect requires distance, emotional detachment, and free space.

A healthy, adequate atmosphere in the family is the unity of love and respect.

And although these concepts are very different, they complement each other.

Love without respect turns into an uncontrollable feeling, into a desire to subjugate another, to deprive him of freedom. The destruction of personal boundaries can be very devastating. And without love, respect loses its soul and becomes a dry observance of rules and formalities.

For children to respect their parents, the family should have respect for all family members, including the child.

When you respect a child, you do not use sarcastic words when communicating with him, there are no contemptuous notes in your voice, your face does not distort as if you are seeing something extremely unpleasant to you.

Respect is recognizing the importance and worth of another person.

If you do not respect your children, yell at them, hit them, enter their room without knocking, humiliate them in front of friends, talk down to them, kiss and squeeze them when they don’t want to, make them wear clothes that they don’t like, you force them to eat what they do not want, then in old age your disrespect for them will return to you many times. And there will be no need to wait until old age ...

Our intrinsic value

In order to voluntarily and freely recognize and appreciate other people's dignity, you must have your own.

Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher

Dignity is born of respect.

Dignity is respect for yourself and others.

Dignity is a certain distance between people, on the basis of which respect arises.

Parents and children often have rather complicated and complicated relationships. They can be either very close, or hostile, or with alternating extremes. This is not a statement. These are observations from my practice.

The emotional instability of one of the parents can never be a reliable foundation for the development of respect.

Respect is born in a calm and stable atmosphere.

Very often, parents are unable to control their emotions and feelings. When a mother is raising a child alone, her emotional swing cannot inspire respect in him.

If there is no man in the house who can control the atmosphere of feelings and emotions, then a woman should take on this role. And for this she needs to put her inner world in order.

Only by maintaining inner peace and harmony can you properly build relationships with children. A woman needs to find a point of support and protection in her soul. Internal stability will allow her to regain the respect of children and all family members.

Internal conflicts, personal disorder of a woman are reflected in her relationship with children.

They begin to deform, distort. Therefore, modern children have less and less respect for their parents and representatives of the older generation.

How will a father respect his daughter if he does not respect his wife? He may love his daughter and be affectionately attached to her, but he will not respect the woman in her.

If a woman does not respect her husband, how can she treat her son? She will love him, but she will not respect the man in him, because she has no respect for the male sex. The son, seeing the attitude of the mother to his father and other men, will try it on himself and his masculinity.

Therefore, it is so important that a woman is engaged in her spiritual development.

A modern woman is exhausted, exhausted, she is in search of a strong man, she lacks love, she is deprived of the most important thing - a sense of security.

A person is born with certain needs, and the very first and basic ones are security and love, and only after their satisfaction does the desire for respect appear. In the meantime, the two previous needs are "not satisfied", they do not think about respect.

Today a woman does not feel love and security, she is forced to take care of the child herself, not knowing what the coming day has in store for her, she has to rely only on herself. And one can only dream of respect, on the way to it you need to overcome many obstacles.

When there is no one around to support a woman, she desperately needs the support of her child and therefore violates his boundaries. She can only show weakness to her child. And if this happens regularly, then between them there is spiritual closeness, but not respect.

To begin with, it is the mother who needs to learn to respect the child, his father, gain emotional stability and a sense of security.

Respecting a child means respecting the character with which he was born, respecting his desires, territory and boundaries.

To respect does not mean to indulge all the whims of the child. You should learn to reckon with his desires, take them into account and find compromises.

Try to make mutual concessions in conflict and acute situations, and not press the child with your authoritarian position just because you are a mother and know how to do better.

There is no need to shout at the child, humiliate him, apply physical punishment. In this case, yelling, insults, dismissiveness and assault become the norm for children. And there is no respect.

Dignity can only be instilled in an atmosphere of respect for all family members.

Try to adhere to the golden mean in raising children: do not indulge them unnecessarily and at the same time do not keep them tight.It is important to be consistent and consistent in your requirements.

If your excessive severity is replaced by self-indulgence and permissiveness, then such emotional changes do not contribute to the formation of respect.

There is no need to force children to wear what they do not like, in which they feel uncomfortable. Do not force them to eat what they do not want, but also do not allow them to feast on only what they like. Try to always find compromises between what you think is right and what the child wants.

Respect is always born of agreement. It is possible that in one situation only your opinion affects the decision-making, and in another - the opinion of the child.

It is impossible to force children to respect their parents!

Respect is born from an attentive attitude towards oneself, towards the child and towards all family members.

First of all, you need to learn to respect people and then the question will not arise: "How to teach children to respect their parents?" And then there will be no need to teach the child respect, he will absorb it like a sponge through your attitude to yourself and the world.published. If you have any questions on this topic, ask them to the specialists and readers of our project .

Many parents struggle to teach their child to respect them. Some even force it. But for some reason, children are capricious and do not want to recognize the authority of adults. Khabarovsk educational psychologist Margarita Iotka told about how to instill in a child respect for elders, what mistakes parents should not make in upbringing, and what to do if the child does not listen to mom and dad.

How to instill in a child respect for elders: the opinion of a specialist

- Margarita, hWhat is meant by the concept of "respect", and what methods can be used to instill it in a child?

Margarita Iotka, educational psychologist

Respect, first of all, is the recognition of the dignity of another person, his authority. And it is also an understanding that a person does not belong to you and an awareness of his boundaries. This can only be achieved by using your own example. Very often we are approached by families in which there is no respect as such. Let's say a mother and grandmother constantly quarrel, insult each other in front of a child. And then the parents come to the appointment and wonder why the child allows himself to be insulted against them.

And another example: a child is brought up in a family where the mother constantly says “no, because I said so” and does not bother to explain why. It is not right. Children need not only to instill rules, norms, etiquette, but also to explain why they need to behave one way or another. “Because I said so” is not an argument, especially for a child who later becomes a teenager, who develops his own worldview. And the opinion of his parents is most often not authoritative for him during this period, he listens to the opinion of his peers. As a result, a teenager can talk to his parents the same way they talk to him: “What can you know?”. Therefore, even in childhood, he should develop an understanding of what respect for elders means and why it is so important.

- How, then, can you explain to a child why elders need to be respected?

You always have to explain the reasons. For example, why can't you ignore a grandfather who can't cross the road, why can't you offend and insult older people? It is necessary to tell the child what old age is, that at this age people need help. It can also be explained that a person has lived a long life and has a lot of life experience, but the child is just about to and he can learn something from an elderly person. If you explain such things to a child as an adult, then by adolescence he will have his own picture of the world and an assessment of what is happening.

- Does the fact that parents punish a child for wrongdoing affect respect for them?

Punishing a child is normal, but he must clearly understand why he is being scolded. Plus, the system of rewards and punishments should be the same in the family. It is imperative to agree with all relatives how you will punish the child or praise. It is better for the child to be responsible for his own actions. Again, if in the process of upbringing you do not explain elementary things and phenomena to the child, then later the formation of his own opinion and decision-making will be atrophied, he will not be able to bear responsibility for his actions. And he will say: "I did this because I wanted it so."

During adolescence, children in some cases begin to reject the authority of their parents, to rebel. How should parents behave during this period?

Do not suppress anything in any way. This is the age when separation from parents occurs. You just need to go through it and not interfere. You also need to respect the child's personal boundaries, for example, do not enter the room without knocking. He, too, should have his own space where he can feel safe, calmly go about his business and not think that mom or dad will burst in now with claims. In general, this is a normal process, you just need to be patient and make as much effort as possible so that the child can trust you, come to you with any question, including about the first love.

- And if the child during this period contacted a bad company? It won't be possible not to interfere here ...

In this case, you need to understand that he gets this from this company. As a rule, the weak side with the stronger. What does he want to learn from them? Why did he suddenly become interested in them? Maybe it is important for him to be authoritative, aggressive in his environment. Because during this period, adolescents become quite cruel, tearing down negative emotions on each other.

- At what age do you need to explain to a child what respect is?

The sooner the better. In general, until the age of three, a child does not understand what kind of person is in front of him: an adult, a young, an old man. With him, all people are basically equal - he turns to any person on "you". From the age of three, it is already necessary to begin to educate this.

- And if you failed to do it on time?

If the child is already, for example, ten years old and he still cannot accept authority, then you need to look at the family: then there is something like this in the relationship between mom and dad or parents and grandmother. How you treat your parents in the company of your child, how you treat him, so he will treat you.

Does television and the Internet affect a child's attitude towards elders? Now there are many videos on the network in which children insult the teacher and think that this is cool.

If this is just a video, then this is not so scary, but if his classmates support him and are now going to mock their teacher, then you need to contact a school psychologist, specialists who can stop this bullying of the teacher. In general, a teacher must have the skill not to give power to children.

Speaking about the influence of the Internet in general, if a child is young, it is possible to block certain content on the network, and he will not see it. But if he is already 15, blocking sites and sources is unlikely to succeed. If he was instilled in the norms of respect from childhood, most likely such videos will cause him harsh criticism.

- How often do parents contact you with the problem of disrespect in the family?

Constantly. Very often parents treat children aged 9-10 years who do not obey them. There were even cases when children told their parents that they would now call the helpline to be deprived of their parental rights. Children are cruel in this regard. In such cases, you need to figure out what the reason is. Perhaps this kind of manipulation is present in the family. First of all, it is necessary to eradicate such a manner of communication, otherwise there will be no result. It's the same if you sit at home with a cigarette and teach your child not to smoke.

- What do you advise your parents in such cases?

I always look at the parents' relationship with each other: what kind of family system is at home, who is involved in upbringing, maybe a grandmother or godparents. In any case, it is not the children who need to be helped, but primarily the parents. It is very difficult to work when parents come and say, they say, do something with my child, and we went, we have things to do. They are not ready to work on themselves and want to fix what is broken, but in fact it did not break just like that. And if the parents are ready to work, follow the recommendations of a specialist, then the problems are solved.

- Do I need to explain to the child that it is necessary to respect not only elders, but also peers?

Yes, it is imperative to explain that another person is a person and a completely different country, the borders of which do not need to be crossed. You can't just go up to a person and touch him or ask questions that lead to a stupor, for example, "why are you so fat"? It's funny when a child is very small, but when he is 11-12 years old, then this is no longer the norm. For a child to understand this, it is necessary not only to explain such things to him, but also to communicate with him as with an adult, and respect his opinion. He must understand what he is doing, argue and be responsible for his actions.

For example, you are discussing with your husband about buying a new car. Put the child in the car, let him also tell his opinion. He will feel that he is not small, and understand his importance in the family.

- Is it worth going to a psychologist if there are problems in the family, or can you cope on your own?

You need to go to a psychologist. If there are difficulties in parent-child relations, and you understand that you do not hear each other, at home you are constantly screaming, scandals and nothing is moving anywhere, come to the consultation at least once and listen to the opinion of a specialist.

So, in order to teach a child to respect elders, you need:

Show a personal example;
Explain why you need to do this and not otherwise;
Talk to him like an adult, take his opinion into account;
Do not make a row in his presence with household members.

Main photo - pixabay.com

Love and respect for parents is the topic of this article. Here you will find out why you need to love and respect your parents and why it is so important.

Parents are sacred to everyone. Whatever they are, they must be loved and respected, appreciated.

If they lifted you up, gave you a roof over your head, food, raised you, brought you up to the best of their abilities, then you need to be grateful for all this.

They have had so many sleepless nights because of you, how much time they spent on you, how much they sacrificed their health for you, appreciate it and show it to your parents with your actions, that you appreciate and love them, and not just words.

Parents are saints

Any holy book on planet Earth, from the Bible to the Koran, says that you need to honor your father and mother, love them and respect them.

Father and Mother are your root, your foundation. Your success in life, your well-being at the most subtle levels depends on how good your relationship with them is. Of course, not all parents are the best, but they are who they are. Accept and appreciate them while they are alive and well.

After all, parents are not eternal, sooner or later the time will come when a person leaves for another world, leaving us alone, and only then we begin to appreciate them when we have lost.

So it’s not better to start appreciating, loving and respecting your parents right now.

And this needs to be shown by your actions, and not by words.

Children are a copy of the parents

The way we treat our parents now will be copied by our children and will treat us the same.

Remember this. After all, we are for the most part a product of our parents, and whether we like it or not, we are similar, very similar to them, both externally and internally.

It would be better for us to quickly accept our parents as they are and to love. After all, parents are not chosen.

Different points of view of parents and children

You don't need to accept the point of view of your parents if you do not like it, but at the same time you should respect it. Remember that everyone has their own point of view, especially when it comes to parents. After all, when you are the same age as your parents, you will be able to understand them.

The main thing is not to take off arguing and demonstratively showing disrespect and not accepting their views, this is useless, because your children will also behave this way towards you in the future.

Parents have lived longer than us, and they have more experience in something, too, it is worth listening to them.

Remember the boomerang life.

Help for parents

Starting from a certain stage in life, when you have already become independent, it is you who "should" help your parents, and not they help you. Support them as much as you can, give them love and attention, and of course, in terms of money, support will not hurt them either.

Remember that your children will help you too. After all, children copy the behavior of their parents.

That's all!

I wish you the very best relations with your parents, the warmest and most cordial. Appreciate and love them while they are.

Thank you for attention!!!

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Greetings to everyone who visited my site! Last time I wrote an article: "The Psychology of Relationships with Parents." If you have read it, then I hope that you have found something interesting for yourself. And today, as promised, I will try to expand on this topic. We'll talk about what it means love and respect for parents and we will find out why you need to love, appreciate, care and respect your parents.

In our life, we always face a problem. Why can't they find a common language and live a happy, friendly family? At first glance, it seems that this is very simple. But, unfortunately, life shows us a downside and not always pleasant.

Read this article to the end and you will understand that there are simply no reasons for different grievances and conflicts. You can always, if you wish, with your parents, as well as sincerely love and respect them. After all, they deserve it.

WHAT IS LOVE AND RESPECT FOR PARENTS

So what is the reason why fathers and children do not understand each other? They constantly expose children, and children to their relatives, all sorts of claims and mostly meaningless. Let's think about what parents need to do to get the situation out of this impasse?

It turns out that everything is very simple. It is necessary to create conditions for your children in which they can realize themselves in the best possible way. Then all grievances and claims will disappear forever.

Your most beloved descendants will treat you with respect, They will never leave their dear people without help, attention and will constantly take care of you.

Children are naturally very kind. They contain the best character traits. It's just that every parent needs to study the psychology of the behavior of their children. This will lead to the fact that you can easily eliminate various contradictions with each other.

So, let's try to understand this topic. Our task is to understand what mistakes are made and find ways to solve the problems that arise.

What is love and respect for parents? If you think about it, it turns out that in fact there is not so much real, sincere love for your closest and dearest people. Unfortunately, more and more we see not love for parents, but hatred. And if there is hatred, then it is clear that there is no respect.

But there are also families in which children love and respect their parents to such an extent that they are ready to give them everything. For their sake, they even sacrifice their happiness. Children put the interests of their parents above all else and fully devote their whole life to them.

It seems to me that these are the fruits of their wrong upbringing by their parents. It should not be! How can this be called love? Most likely it looks like a sacrifice! Most people will agree with me and also consider this behavior to be a big delusion.

WHAT IS DANGEROUS LOVE FOR PARENTS IS DANGEROUS?

If we delve deeply into this situation, we can draw a conclusion. Excessive love for parents can create very big problems not only for children, but also for parents. In life, there is such a Law: "Everything that is excessive always creates disharmony and strains our World." And he, in turn, tries with all his might to relieve this tension.

Therefore, when such a phenomenon occurs in a family, many conflicts are brewing between children and their parents. There are cases of very great hatred. I'm scared to talk about it, but it leads to the fact that they can survive each other prematurely from life.

Help your parents change their worldview. It is very difficult, but try to make them change their outlook on life internally. It is also your task to help them get rid of a heavy feeling of resentment towards everyone, which they have accumulated in their hearts for many years of their lives.

Resentment is a very negative feeling that destroys a person, as well as his health. When they get rid of this "heavy burden", then a lot will change in their lives and the lives of their children.

In childhood, and especially in adolescence, we very often offended our parents ourselves and kept evil in our souls. Very often you can hear But with age, when they themselves become fathers and mothers, they begin to understand their relatives much more and a stronger feeling arises love and respect.

At the end of this article, I want to tell you, dear children, a few important points. Remember them please! Understand that your parents need only one thing from you: love, respect and care. Maybe you are still very young, you don’t have children of your own and you don’t understand how your parents want to see you, to hear your voice, even if over the phone.

They, looking out the window, all the time look into the distance with the hope that they will suddenly see you! Parents always, in spite of everything, love and always pray for your health. Take a few minutes a day to call them! Throw away all your affairs, visit them more often, because no one is eternal in this world! The time will come and you will miss them very much! Always remember this! Appreciate them, love and respect them! Take care of your parents!

Hello reader! Surely you are already familiar with my thoughts on how important it is to observe elementary moral standards, not to drink, not to smoke, and to be an example for the future generation and our children in particular. But behind all these loud words, for some reason I forgot about those who, perhaps, are more important than all this, since they gave us not only life, but also the right, the chance to become worthy people.

Today we will talk about our parents, because everyone, without exception, has them - good or bad, it is certainly not for us to decide and judge.

The upbringing of children by parents can be different - someone is stricter, someone is softer, and someone does not look after their children at all, but this does not negate the most important fact. They gave birth to us and we are blood of blood and flesh of their flesh, and no matter how bad we are, no matter how windy they are, children for parents are always the most sacred and important in life.

But let's get straight to the topic ...

Parents have the right

Parents have the right to tell us everything they think not only about our life, but also about our actions, choices and actions. And this right is spelled out not only and not so much in the law as in the customs of any family, because it itself forms our morality, making up our future by grains of sand, thought by thought, word by word, deed by deed. Parents and only parents have the right to condemn us for anything, and at the same time not wait for reciprocal criticism, because only parents, condemning, will always accept us, understand and will not betray us even at the cost of their own lives. I once heard the following phrase: “Our children, these are the flowers of life growing at our graves ...”, and no matter how scary it sounds, this quote reflects the reality, and this is the only reason why you should forgive your parents for all their mistakes and reservations ...

Many will disagree, remembering hundreds and thousands of cases when parents abandoned their children, leaving them in the hospital, but who ever thought about how many times such people remembered their act? How many times have they dreamed of killed and abandoned children at night? How many times have they cursed themselves for having stumbled once in their life and made the worst mistake? It is not for us to judge them, we can only decide for ourselves: should we be the same as they were in their time, heartless and callous, angry with them and not forgiving, or, on the contrary, to understand and forgive, breaking the vicious circle once and for all. But let's talk about the most striking cases of conflict with parents.

Parenting: a conflict between fathers and children

The so-called "conflict between fathers and children" does not necessarily apply specifically to the father and son, because the same type of psychology is found in the conflicts between the daughter and the mother. The point here lies precisely in the fact that being young and stupid, we are often unable to understand that parents have the right to instruct us and give us advice, albeit in their own manner, in the form of prohibitions and instructions, but still - to educate us. My father once told me: I am not raising you the way I like it, it would be easier for me to turn away altogether and not notice anything, but I try to give you the same that my parents gave me in their time, and a little more so that you have become a little better than me ... and you know? I want to thank my parents from the bottom of my heart. Not only to their own, but in general, to all parents in the world who do not sleep at night thinking about their children. After all, it is impossible to express in words all the gratitude to the parents who raised us, put us on our feet and seemed to be hewn out of stone, making us human.

But each of us can remember the time of grievances and quarrels in the family, when we could be angry or angry with “our ancestors,” but these memories are in the past. Now we have all grown up and understand that respect for parents came by itself, with the realization that not everything is as simple as it seemed before. Respect for parents instills the very idea that they were able to take this step, give birth and raise a new person, giving us a piece of themselves, although they could not do this and live for themselves and for themselves. No one would reproach or reproach them for this, because children are the choice of every couple. Young parents would like to wish success in their great endeavors, and propose the following parenting rules that would greatly help past generations, if at that time psychologists were as experienced as they are now.

Parents' rules

Love alone is not enough. Learn to express your feelings or limit them, everything should be in moderation.

Self-reliance is the first commandment ... Teaching a child to be independent is the first thing every good parent should strive for.
Praise is in moderation. Do not be afraid to praise your child for achievements, but do not do it just like that, a little criticism will not be superfluous either.
No physical punishment. Any physical injury that you inflict on your child automatically becomes psychological. The best way to bring up a depressed and overwhelmed person is through physical punishment.
Do not pamper or infringe ... Try to understand what your child needs and what is just a whim. A toy car, so as not to look defective against the background of other children, is a necessity, but a car on the control panel or on a diesel engine for several thousand rubles is a whim.

By following these and many other rules that you can easily learn from your own upbringing by your parents, you will become for your child a friend, and a companion, and the best parents in the world.

Happy parents, reaping fruits

Oddly enough it sounds, but your parental happiness in the future depends primarily on how you behave with your children from their very birth to the moment when they fly out of the parental house in search of their own life. When you say "parents", what do you remember first? Good or bad moments, for different people it happens in different ways, but the point is, when raising your children, to think “what will my child remember in five, ten, fifteen years?”. This is the only way you can become good parents for your children and make no mistakes throughout your upbringing path.

And finally, I would like to add one thing: think about it, can you say about your father and mother that they are happy parents? Substantiate your answer for yourself. Have you become their pride and joy? Maybe you should call them or visit them in person, finally saying how much they mean to you. After all, there is nothing more valuable in our life than those who gave us this very life!