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Why gays find it hard to build long-term relationships. Be open. Be honest. Everyone is afraid of being vulnerable. There is always the possibility that you will open up to him, and he will not accept you. However, it's worth the risk. Without vulnerability, there will be no real relationship. someone and

IN Lately, the life of homosexuals under the magnifying glass of society. And naturally, it is overgrown with all sorts of legends and myths. I will try to debunk some of the most common

1. Gays are not born, but made(straight, do not be born beautiful)

I think this is one of the main myths about gays. Probably from communist times. Today, in scientific circles, the point of view about the innateness of homosexual orientations prevails. Like the color of eyes, hair ... That is, it is genetically predetermined, but this has not been fully studied and proven

2. Gays change partners often and easily(dream and envy of a burdened heterosexual womanizer)

By nature, any man, regardless of orientation, is polygamous, and gays in terms of sex are simpler and more straightforward than heterosexuals, who are forced to engage in some kind of roundabout maneuvers so that their mistress does not collide with his wife and vice versa. But still, homosexuals have strong couples who live for many years, taking care of each other touchingly.

3. Gays refer to each other as "pra-a-ative"

To some extent, this is the place to be, well, you yourself understand, these features of psychophysiological development make some effeminate, but there are very few of them. I can assure you that you won’t recognize or figure out a real gay man, maybe even now you work side by side with him and don’t know anything about his inclinations! And if I talk about some of our famous personalities, which a simple layman could not even think that they are gay, and they have favorite boyfriends / husbands, in general, throw stones at me.

4. Gays unmistakably identify each other in the crowd(the fisherman of the fisherman is an ambiguous saying, in every sense)

Yes, it happens! Every gay has his own inner “geydar”, which will unmistakably identify a gay by his gaze. Also in the West there is a whole system of gay symbols and signs (and in clothes), which ours practically do not use, we can say that they do not use at all!

5. Gays are sweet, capricious - worse than girls

By bright personalities Don't judge everyone else. I repeat for the umpteenth time, gays are different Courageous homosexuals - the majority. How many and purely heterosexual men who look effeminate - a figure, a thin voice, fidgetiness, you probably have such neighbors, work colleagues, and so on. Yes, there are bright "peacocks" among gays, by which all gays are judged. Most homosexuals are purely negative about such people, as they harm the "blue" image, contributing to the formation of this "cock" myth

6. Gays only hang out with members of their own sex, and they hate women.

Oooh, I'll tell you, this is such nonsense! Most have girl friends, straight sexual orientation who know and support their gay friend! Moreover, every gay man should have a plus-size girlfriend, I'm joking of course, but you yourself know what is in every joke. There are many fake marriages among gays to lesbians (given social pressure from parents or society).

7. When they say “gay, homosexual”, they automatically mean males.

The fluff is complete. Probably only in Russia and in the expanses of the former Soviet republics, when they say “gay”, they mean two men, but in fact, the word “gay” has no gender, because two lesbian girls are also gays, as well as two guy. Well, it’s necessary to be somehow “dark” in order not to know such elementary things.

8. Gays are at risk for AIDS

This zombification has been going on since Soviet times. However, take any statistics from the relevant medical institutions and find that on average 92 percent are injection drug users, 4 are homosexuals, 4 are heterosexuals, 2 are parental infection, from mother to child. I will say more, gays are very concerned about their health! So don't believe these tales, but oh safe sex do not forget!

9 Gays Crowned Themselves

In part, yes, there are enough "crowned" persons among gays, it is easy to see in the corresponding thematic clubs, and they also meet in life, but smart people they understand that everyone is equal from birth, or if they are not equal, then they have equal rights, to happiness, for example.

10. An ardent opponent of gays and everything connected with them is a latent homosexual

In short, a person is either gay or not!

You understand, these are far from all the fairy tales of the "Blue" forest ... Just sometimes turn on your head and feel with your heart and you will eyes closed You will be able to recognize where is the myth and where is the reality!

Who are gay people and whether their behavior is normal, people have been arguing for centuries. For many centuries, lovers of same-sex love were expelled from society, imprisoned, and executed. Now they are much more tolerant. The question remains: is homosexuality a disease or a norm?

Who are homosexuals?

The concept of "gay" has many interpretations. The etymology of the term is believed to come from English word“carefree, cheerful”, the meaning of which at some historical point in time expanded and began to denote a person indulging in voluptuousness. Later, representatives of the gay community were considered carriers of a special self-consciousness, they were members of an entire subculture. Who are gay people now: just people with a different sexual orientation. Neither the openly declaring his preferences, nor the hidden, latent homosexual are not an innovation today.

Causes of homosexuality

Homosexuality: a disease or just a sexual variation - that's what society has been arguing for centuries. Scientists insist that such behavior is not deviant at all: in nature, male animals also often give preference to their own. Mother nature did not make an exception with people. So more often - gays are born. Sometimes it is acquired and depends on upbringing.

What are active and passive gays?

In society, when answering the question of what kind of gays are, it is customary to divide them into active and passive. Among homosexual individuals, dominants are often distinguished, that is, active, and slaves are passive. IN sexual life preferences change frequently, and social roles are rarely divided into male and female, so the question of passivity and activity is very controversial. Who are active gays, and who are passive, we will understand further.

Active homosexual

Where active gays come from can be difficult to determine. Who are gay assets, by outward signs often impossible to tell. Active homosexuals can look brutal, so they often look like heterosexual men. Activity is shown in love relationships they dominate the partner and play the role of a man - they protect and take care of their beloved.


Punk

It's easy to see why people become passive gay. A man recognizes himself as a woman and wants to act as the weaker sex, allows himself to be taken care of in everyday life, and his partner dominates in bed. Passives often look more feminine than most men, have refined manners, and are emphatically polite.

How to recognize a gay?

There is only one one hundred percent way how to identify a gay: learn about his homosexuality from himself. Other signs:

  1. He behaves like gays behave: he walks down the street with a representative of his gender, holding hands, kissing.
  2. Does not pay attention to girls, does not converge with them or converges, but does not make attempts to build a relationship.
  3. He hides his personal life, shirks about inquiries about his soulmate.
  4. Extremely sensitive to attacks against sexual minorities.

What do gays look like?

How to recognize a gay among others? Almost nothing! Often this is not even possible experienced psychologists, since representatives of the sexual minority do not outwardly differ from heterosexuals. But knowing which ear gays pierce or which finger they wear a ring on, one can determine one of them: homosexuals themselves invent attributes for themselves in order to highlight their otherness. So, wedding ring on the little finger - a sign of supporters of same-sex love. Few people know that even such an insignificant detail as an earring in the right ear speaks of belonging to the gay community.

How do gays live?

Homosexual men, as a rule, are no different from the rest of their sex. They perceive themselves as they are, live in harmony with themselves and the world around them, do not shout about their belonging. After all, there is nothing in common between sexual orientation and cultural life. There is a separate layer of aggressive homosexuals who participate in parades and processions, dress brightly and flashily, trying to shock the public and are condemned by society.

How do gays make love?

There is controversy about how gay men have sex. Some believe that partners distribute for themselves sexual roles once and for all and do not change them. Others hold the view that everything depends on specific individuals, and one homosexual can be an asset in one pair and a liability in another. Even within one sexual relations roles change frequently.


How to get rid of homosexuality?

Contrary to many opinions, homosexuality is not a disease. Craving for the same sex is laid genetically. Even Sigmund Freud called it a variation sexual function. However, the question arises whether it is possible to cure a gay man who became gay as a result of trauma, abuse or mental disorders. It is possible to restore it, but it is not a fact that the former sexual preferences will return to him.

10 myths about homosexuality

Here are some myths about homosexuality to reassure homophobes.

  1. Same-sex relationships are a fashion trend. existed at all times, starting from antiquity, where it was even exalted.
  2. Homosexuality is a disease. Even in nature, up to 10 percent of creatures practice same-sex relationships.
  3. All representatives gay feminine: this is only a prescribed type of gender behavior, in fact, among the representatives of this minority there are many strong, courageous, absolutely brutal people.
  4. All gay men are fashion addicts: we are all people, someone loves fashion and understands it, someone does not care about it.
  5. You can't trust boys like that: Scientific research prove that there is no connection between pedophilia and homosexuality.
  6. Same-sex relationships are not serious, for once: history knows many examples strong marriages and love to the grave.
  7. There can be no marriage between same-sex partners because they are not capable of raising healthy children. Again, as history shows, sometimes families with only two dads are harmonious and complete.
  8. This is inherited: the homosexuality gene has not been proven in nature, it all depends more on upbringing.
  9. All representatives of this sexual minority are divided into active and passive: not at all, like heterosexuals, they practice different sexual roles.
  10. The main disease in the gay community is AIDS. HIV infects people of any sexual orientation, it's a matter of protection or lack thereof.

famous gays

Society has been familiar with the concept of homosexuality for a long time. There have been gay people at all times and many of them have influenced the development of our civilization:

Films about homosexuals

Feature-length films about homosexuals began to appear in the 1980s. These were often dramas or deep melodramas, because society in those days did not accept such strange love:

  1. "Old friend", 1984 - about the fight against AIDS.
  2. "Maurice", 1987 - about trying to hide relationships in a refined English society.
  3. "Philadelphia", 1992 - about the struggle of minorities for their rights.

With the advent of the melodrama "Brokeback Mountain" in 2005, films about strong male love became more. These are simple melodramas about love (no matter what gender she is):

  1. "Weekend"(2011) - excellent melodrama.
  2. "Harvey Milk"(2008). This topic remains a problem in society.
  3. "50 Shades of Blue"(not a parody, but a deep complex drama).
  4. "The Story of a Bad Boy" and others.

I was raised on romantic comedies and dramas, and starting from adolescence, dreamed of a prince on a white horse.

But the years passed, and the prince did not appear on the horizon. And like with one you will try, then with another, but something does not work out.
At first, at the stage of falling in love, everything is fine: a lot of attention, a lot of sex, a lot of common themes. But when it ends Honeymoon", you begin to notice more and more flaws in a person, and you don’t want sex as much as before. In general, the standard scheme of any relationship. But why is it so hard to go further together? Why do heterosexual couples go through this stage more often and continue to live as a family?

There are several reasons for this.

Biological - partners in heterosexual couples are different not only at the level of physiology, but also at psychological level. A hetero at least has a biologically based premise to be together for a long time - this is the birth of a child and his upbringing. We may think that we are conscious, but physiology very often turns out to be stronger than psychology we cannot control it. And for heterosexuals, this can play a big role in building a long-term relationship. Gays from the physiological - there is only a need for sex and she is not so strong in maintaining relationships. But rather, even to some extent destructive, we all know that at the level of biology, a man seeks to fertilize as many partners as possible.
At the intersection of biology and psychology is the presence of gender roles. In hetero, they can be turned upside down, that is, a woman can perform male gender role in the family, and the man to the woman. But in terms of relationships, this is not particularly important, the main thing here is their presence. Gays don't have clear roles in a relationship, and if both have the same role, then there's likely to be problems. Both will want the same thing from each other, and as a result, no one will satisfy their needs. In order for such a relationship to exist, both partners must be able to compromise, must be formed psychologically. And then I smoothly move on to the next item.

Psychological- heterosexuals live in a society that accepts them completely. From childhood, they see around them the same people as themselves. And if the family is healthy, that is, the parents are not rapists, not alcoholics, not sadists, etc., then the child grows up psychologically formed and special problems does not experience in life and its development. For gays, everything is more complicated - from the very moment of realizing one's orientation, a person begins to understand that he is not like the majority. That some part of society generally rejects people like him in best case, and at worst it can be aggression towards him. There may also be problems with the acceptance of a gay by his parents and relatives. Not everyone dares to lead an open life, at least in relationships with loved ones. In general, psychologically, a gay person gets a whole bunch of problems that will prevent him from building relationships. This is not self-acceptance, and the lack of a positive experience of building close relationships, and not the desire to take responsibility, and the lack of adequate self-esteem etc.

In my opinion, these are the main obstacles for gay men in long-term relationships. Of course, you can endlessly blame your partner for being somehow different, that sex is no longer interesting, to try open relationship and all that. But it won't work until you're at peace with yourself. It seems to me that you need to look first of all at yourself, deal with your injuries and painful places. Only when you yourself are whole and formed, you have the opportunity to accept another. Love is about acceptance, it's about the fact that I accept you the way you are, and I'm not trying to change you for myself.
Open to dialogue in the comments, your opinion is interesting.

Of course, we do not suffer from homophobia, women are generally loyal in this matter. We respect other people's borders and other people's choices, some have gay friends - everything is fair with them. This article is about protecting yourself from werewolves in a tie who, like pick-up artists, manipulate you. Decency does not depend on orientation.

Nelly met Serezha on the Internet. He opened doors for her, gave her flowers and cute soft toys, but Nellie felt that he was overdoing it. In sms through the word "murrr", "smack", "my girl". Instead of "I miss you, I want you," she received whole panels with ornate compliments. A couple of times Nelly jokingly joked: “If you weren’t so good in bed, I would have thought that you ...” Seryozha never took offense and promised to immediately prove to her that he was “not”.

He behaved as if he could not live without her ... Then he disappeared. But he called again - and Nelly pretended that everything was in order. “Pick-up,” her friends told her. “Married,” the sister repeated. At one point, when Nellie was already head over heels in love, she wanted him to simply tell her in response to her “I love” a short male “And I” ... Completely tormented by uncertainty, she scored him email address into a search engine - and went to a gay dating site, from where Serge smiled with his unique smile ...

The internet is full of stories broken hearts successful girls with a high IQ. Why did they allow themselves to be lured into this trap? Let's start with the fact that some future victims themselves did a good job.

“My loved one died in an accident. Three months later, I began to withdraw ... But I could not see other men. I then got close to old friend- she knew that my friend had died, but she did not know who he was for me. We both wanted to leave for permanent residence in Europe, and alone it would be difficult. We got married - to the delight of my parents. A daughter was born. I was sure that I had ceased to be gay ... But three years after our wedding, I realized that I could not do this anymore. And I don’t want to lose my daughter, and I want to love for real.”

Hidden threat

Object: brand new, charming and attractive. He is simply cool - not a sysadmin with greasy hair, not a breathless boss, not a boring colleague - his nails are clean, his shoes are shiny, and his sense of humor is on top. Prince! You found out everything: he is definitely free. So why the hell doesn't he want you! You start hunting.

Judging by the gay forums, this is real problem for them. The man is cornered. He does not want to reveal himself and must either change jobs or sleep with you - if only he is behind. But you're not enough. You insist on continuing the relationship. And if he is dependent on you in the service? It is impossible for a latent gay to protect himself: neither stable friendship, nor harsh ignorance. The principle "What less woman we love, the more she likes us” works against him. And if you don't know true reasons his indifference, take revenge or, having learned the truth, get angry, we are not on your side.

Experienced women who have often faced infidelity and rudeness find safety and peace in a relationship with a gay man. Even after learning about the orientation of the satellite, they do not cut off the shoulder. As a rule, closeted gays also feel safe, gaining a "mommy" and getting a reputation, though embroidered with white thread.

The habit of getting married

What could be worse than falling in love with a gay man? I'll tell you: to be in a marital bed with someone who clearly "gets up" when a young actor undresses on the TV screen. What to do? Slap on the face and put out the suitcase? What if the child sleeps behind the wall? And if the apartment is not yours? What will your parents and friends say?

Yes, gays are married. Young people, having felt a homosexual attraction in themselves, strive to prove to their parents, friends, and most importantly, to themselves that this is not so. And they sincerely believe that a woman can save them.

It is easy to understand why in our disloyal country gays marry women, have children... Then they return to a secret life and make their families suffer - doubly so, because the deceived wives are forced to share all the secrets with them. Sometimes this secret is kept together with mothers by children. Even psychologists, who, unlike priests, justify all our sins, call such marriages tragic.

In Russia, such stories are very rarely made public. Perhaps the only famous woman who spoke about the problem was the writer Yulia Shilova. The book “Life in Three, or If the Lover Went to Another” was written after seven years of marriage and the birth of a son: “The truth became a bolt from the blue. It hurts to hear from someone you love that he was alone with me ... When my husband told me that he could not live without young body my companion that he had never experienced such amazing orgasms in his life, I gave him a good slap in the face, because we had a family, a child.

Groom wanted


According to sexologists, during courtship, gays are romantic, but avoid any intimate situations. Future brides and especially their parents even like it. In the behavior of young people, they see high morality, respect for a woman, principles ... Such suitors are set as an example of assertive dorks who climb under their skirts on the first date.

After marriage, husbands avoid sex under any pretext. The newlywed admits the lack of experience or impotence of her beloved and seeks to help. In general, many gay men are able to carry out heterosexual sexual intercourse. But this is a genital discharge without passion, sometimes even with disgust, almost always in a state of alcoholic excitement.

Sooner or later, the wife suspects cheating. Husband can play along. At this point, some lucky newlyweds and gay consciences get divorced. He gets a reprieve from parenting issues, and with it, legal proof of heterosexuality: he was married. The girl licks her wounds and has a chance to marry again.

But the trouble is that many keep the family for the sake of children. Often, “non-traditional” husbands just use the wife’s pregnancy as a reason for terminating sexual relations: they motivate their actions (or rather inaction) by caring for her health. After childbirth, new good reasons appear to avoid intimacy: sleepless nights, then the first teeth, then "The child can hear" - and so on for three years. The wife complains to her friends: "Probably because my chest sagged, maybe because I got fat, or maybe he stopped loving me?" Dissatisfied and obsessed with the idea of ​​finding out the truth, she begins an investigation.The truth is shocking.

Many immediately open their eyes to strange behavior husband. They immediately run to a psychologist and confess to him that deep down they felt some kind of falsity in the relationship. And they are also afraid that the son may inherit the father's homosexual inclinations. Separate, especially loving ones, ask the doctor to immediately cure their husband, and when the doctor honestly refuses, they are ready to re-educate themselves, if only they don’t leave the family. Both sides are under constant pressure.

“I got married at 24, my wife didn’t know that I was gay… I found out after 6 years, there were tears. And then she stopped using protection, and we got our second angel. The wife said: “Where are you going to get away from me with two children!” It became easier to live after the confession, whoever is open will understand ... There were also boyfriends at a party, and a threesome with a shot guy is fun. But as a result, she met her macho and left me with two children. The most interesting thing is that girls constantly stick to me. They are brave: two children do not frighten them!”

special gift

Gays believe that they have a sixth sense - Geydar, which allows them to instantly identify their own kind. You don't have a Geidar, but you have a woman's intuition that tells you that something is wrong with this young man. It is unlikely that you will be able to determine this by appearance: now that men have begun to take care of themselves, it is much more difficult to distinguish who is who. In the mass consciousness, the image of a gay is clearly drawn: glamor, tight jeans, transparent T-shirts, highlighted hair, an earring in his ear, a ring on his little finger. These are honest gays, they have nothing to hide! We have a different case.

which persistent rumors circulate. And if Philip Kirkorov and Nikolai Baskov gossips they have been credited with being gay for a long time, and you won’t surprise anyone with this, about some celebrities you never, as they say, “you can’t tell by sight”.

In their study, collective bloggers relied on entries on gay forums, in which visitors to themed clubs shared what they saw there certain stars kissing and hugging with members of the same sex, on insider gossip (which should not be underestimated), the most significant urban folklore , as well as on the statements and hints of the stars themselves (including jokes and jokes on variety shows), as well as on the Internet revelations of lower-ranking gay men who allegedly slept with celebrities.

The twochers also analyzed Internet posts in which former concert promoters talked about how visiting stars used them to find same-sex lovers for their vacation.

The result was the following selection, which is not necessary to believe, but it is curious to get acquainted.

Sergey Lazarev

Has Lera Kudryavtseva never once pressed her naked body against this inflated torso?

Alla Pugacheva on the radio "Alla" once brought Sergey Lazarev into a state of shock, saying in live literally the following: “You should not get married so as not to be lonely! And you shouldn't, I understand. If you suddenly get together, you know what I'll tell you how wise woman? You personally, if you want to get married, you need a friend first of all, a partner in life.

'Cause all these sex schmucks, they come and go. And for the birth of a child, you can try once, even two or three. But, in principle, this is not what a person needs in life. I know that you have a friend and assistant Misha (Mikhail Dvoretsky, director of the singer - approx. Time Out). And I just congratulate you on the fact that he loves you very much ... "

Nikolai Tsiskaridze


Charming, passionate about art, a man of great charm, who almost does not hide his homosexual orientation, and even joke about slick topics on TV when feeling confident.

Nikolay Baskov

Sources characterize him as "the most notorious" and "intimidated" homosexual in Russian show business, for whom coming out means losing most of his audience, since these are archaic respectable old women with strict views.

But where would it be without him in this compilation... By the way, singer Lolita is a well-known gay icon and a woman who publicly supports and defends gays and lesbians in Russia.

Oleg Menshikov

Fans find it hard to believe, but too a large number of Sources indicate that, at least in his mature years, the handsome actor gravitates more and more to young male lovers.

Viktor Sukhorukov

And you, brother?!

However, the magnificent eccentric himself has not hidden for a long time, and with hints in various interviews makes it clear about his complex personal life. With men.

Maksim Galkin

But what about Alla Borisovna? The most powerful Russian gay icon, sympathetic to LGBT, among other things, etc.

The most popular rumor about Galkin points to humorist Sergei Drobotenko as Maxim's long-term partner. Mom Drobotenko recently indirectly confirmed in an interview with NTV-shnikam when journalists took her by surprise with insidious questions.

Evgeny Mironov

He lives with his mother all his life, in an interview the topic of sexual orientation and personal life in general is a taboo, and a reason for the wrath of a sophisticated artist. According to numerous rumors (especially among theatergoers) - this is no accident!

Alexander Rybak

Ai biliv in e fairetail...

And he too?! And he's so pretty... Although, yes, everything is logical - he's so pretty!

Andrei Malakhov

On gay forums, no one calls Malakhov except "Andryusha". Perhaps Andryusha is the only closeted gay whose confession of homosexuality would not harm his career, because he is too exemplary, intelligent and friendly for older fans to stop loving him for some kind of homosexuality.

Phillip Kirkorov

Well, how could it be without him. They say that in the song "Snow" he shot his young lover, and the song is dedicated to him.

Pavel Lobkov

What, this one too?!... And we watched "Plant Life!" with him.

Lobkov, by the way, became the eleventh in this selection, although we promised ten characters.

Fresh selection of funny jokes