How to recognize love: signs of true love. Signs of a man's love for a woman
What is love? A feeling that gives you absolute happiness? Or an experience that plunges into emotional chaos? Neither one nor the other. Even mutual love does not give a feeling of harmony and serenity. But it excites and shakes us over the years. Love is a multifaceted feeling, these are its components.
Seeing a riddle in another person
Love is a mysterious feeling. We feel it, but we do not understand. The force that pulls towards a person is inexplicable. We seek him not because we like the way he looks, he is rich or in power, not because he looks like a parent or other significant person. If your union can be explained logically - "she replaced his mother" or "they are together because of money", there can be no talk of true love. In her case, we are always guided by a mystery.
“Love refers to our unconscious: to some kind of childhood experience, loss or longing for what we could not receive. It affects that part of the personality that is unknown to us, ”explains psychoanalyst Patrick Lamboulet. That is why it is a mistake to think that in a relationship two "halves" should merge, which give rise to something whole. - It is in this view that lies the reason why many married couples break up. When a person in a relationship feels understatement, he may decide: this is not his half. But this is certainly not the case. " To truly love means to always remain intrigued by the secret of another person. "
Afraid to lose
And all the time. And not only another person, but also yourself, dissolving in him. In his work "Dissatisfaction with culture" Sigmund Freud explains this phenomenon: "We fall into dependence on another, because we constantly need him to support us in our existence." Hence the fear of loss.
“Love means risk,” explains philosopher and psychoanalyst Monica Schneider. "This feeling is so dizzying that we are sometimes even drawn to reject it in order to protect ourselves from the frightening power of another person over us."
Freud emphasized that Eros and Thanatos are inseparable: I love you - I am destroying you. Eros is our desire to connect with each other. Thanatos is the death drive that pushes us to sever this connection so that our “I” remains omnipotent.
If we manage to overcome all doubts and fears and surrender to love, we find ourselves in wonderful new territory.
“It's hard to give up on yourself,” explains psychoanalyst Jean-Jacques Moskovitz. - Love always brings torment. It affects our very being - what we are in this world. Only a few are aware of this. Once alone, they enjoy it because they feel protected. But if we manage to overcome all doubts and fears and surrender to love, we find ourselves in a wonderful new territory, where feelings are revealed with renewed vigor. "
True love is not a good business deal. The whirlpool of feelings is dangerous for both partners. Therefore, we often doubt the other. But even if he tries to pull away, that doesn't always mean that he doesn't love. Perhaps he is simply afraid of losing himself.
Be ready to take a step into the unknown
In love, nothing is predetermined. No one can guarantee that feelings will be constant, and life together will be long and happy. “A love relationship is a special world in which it is not reason that rules everything,” explains Monika Schneider. - But you shouldn't set yourself up for the worst.
Sometimes, because of past experiences of unsuccessful relationships, we convince ourselves in advance that we are doomed to suffer. To truly love, one must be able to believe in a miracle again, accept the unknown and learn to be patient. "
Feel desire
Here, at first glance, everything is simple: to love a person means to desire him. Research confirms that physical intimacy helps maintain relationships and keeps the fire of love from dying. Without the exchange of affection, lovers turn into roommates. You can have sex without love, but when there is love, intimacy gives you true pleasure.
If desire weakens, does that mean the relationship is over? Not at all! Our feelings are influenced by many factors, they are cyclical and constantly experience periods of ups and downs. You may not want intimacy now, because you are just tired, have eaten too much or too little, are stressed, or, conversely, are pleasantly excited about some grandiose change. “There are days when it is enough for us that the loved one is just there,” explains Monica Schneider.
Feel alive
“To be loved is to feel that you have a right to exist,” the philosopher and writer Jean-Paul Sartre argued. True love is finding the meaning of one's existence in the world.
Love brings us back to childhood, when it gives us the feeling that everything in the world revolves around us. By choosing each other, we make each other special. In relationships, we endow the second person with special significance. We recognize his importance: we respect his views and hobbies, we accept his ideals.
Another person brings us his world, and we give him ours. This allows you to experience new feelings and open up new horizons. “Love helps to see all the colors of life,” sums up Monica Schneider. "True love makes you feel alive."
True love is a magical and magical feeling. How do you know if a relationship that's nascent or going on over time is true? How to recognize love for life, hold, keep and not let go of it, no matter what happens? This question interests many readers, because at the initial stage of the development of relationships it is so easy to confuse love, passion and even lust with a subtle sublime feeling.
There are several hallmarks of genuine love. In our next publication, we will acquaint readers with the main manifestations of this sublime feeling.
Love does not force you to look for yourself in another person
Very often we want to fall in love just because we are in the process of finding ourselves. We desperately seek out kindred spirits and we easily manage to fall in love, as if by magic. It's like we give our brain the command to fall in love and dissolve in a person with a similar worldview. But these feelings are always short-term. If we are not aware of this, it means that in a short time we may be comprehended by severe disappointment.
True love does not require similar interests or complete imitation from your chosen one. This feeling will never force you to look for yourself in another person.
You won't find true feelings before you love yourself.
Only harmony with yourself, with your inner “I” can, like a magnet, attract the feelings of another person. Surely each of us will remember the case of how close people comforted at a time when the heart was broken. And all the words of comfort were then spoken correctly. You were thrown not because you are unworthy, but because of the circumstances. You were abandoned, so those feelings were not real. Love yourself, and you will surely find harmony and happiness in new relationships.
Love requires nothing
Man is trying with all his might to find love, it just so happened. We are confident that a sincere feeling will bring happiness, help to cope with any adversity, make us cleaner and stronger. And how easy it is to distinguish true love from all-consuming love for a short time. Remember, true love will never require you to lose weight, play sports, pull yourself up to generally accepted standards, or revise your social circle. Sincere feelings never require anything, even in return, because they are disinterested. Therefore, those people are truly happy who accept their partners as they are, without conditions and ultimatums.
Love lets you be yourself
Dear ladies, how often do you feel embarrassed to appear in front of your chosen one in the morning without makeup? For some reason you are sure that he will like the unkempt and unwashed much less. You do not want to let your loved one close to you when you have a cold, embarrassed by your reddened eyes. You run to the bathroom to brush your teeth in the morning at the moment when your lover is trying to kiss you. And if a partner with all his nature demonstrates to you that your naturalness is important to him, then he really loves you. 
True love is not used to asking questions
Catch yourself thinking about the future of your couple or asking yourself too many questions about the chosen one, the correctness of the choice? Then you have not yet met a soul mate. This union is most likely just an episode in your life. True love always comes naturally, and it never asks the question "Is this my person?"
To receive, you must learn to give
Remember that a real relationship cannot afford restraint in feelings, much less use as a bargaining chip. It is very important to appreciate and accept a partner with all his flaws. What will happen if, for every trifle and for any slightest wrong step, a cold welcome awaits the partner? And why repeat the words of love to your soul mate as a tribute for good deeds. A beloved is not a child, he does not need to be brought up.
True love will not stop if a person suddenly falls ill, lost their acquired fortune, or committed some kind of misconduct. True feeling is unconditional. Giving your chosen one selfless love, you can always count on reciprocity in return. Remember that by giving, a person always gains much more.
Love is based on friendship
Remember, at the beginning of the publication, we touched on the topic of finding yourself in another person. That's right, love should not seek similar interests, but very often it is based on friendship. Remember that many happy couples have known each other since school and, as they say, managed to "eat more than one pound of salt with each other" before they realized that they were overtaken by a magical feeling. Remember that physical lust is contentedly short-lived. What will you talk to your partner about when the spark dies down? You will simply lose interest in him, but the friendship will remain forever.
There is no more popular topic on television and in films than love. Soap operas are filled with "romantic love". This theme is also popular in songs. We are constantly haunted by the idea that love is the only thing that matters.
Most people think about romantic love something like this: "Love is an incomprehensible obsession that comes from nowhere and immediately takes over you completely, like measles. You recognize it intuitively. If this is a real feeling, you do not have to guess for a long time. You will see it, without a doubt Love is so important that you have to give up everything for her sake. A man is forgivable to leave his wife for love, a woman is forgiven for leaving a house and children, a king is a throne. She comes completely unexpectedly, and you can do nothing. She is not subject to man. "
But this is NOT true love! True love is not like that.
Infatuation really comes up suddenly and you can't do anything about it. But true love is loyal and selfless love. On this she keeps. It might surprise you why you need to know the difference between infatuation and love? The reason is this: knowing the differences will save you from making a huge mistake. Every year millions of couples with shining eyes come to church and solemnly vow to love each other for the rest of their lives. For some of them, marriage is indeed an invaluable asset. For others, he is just bearable. But for half of these couples, marriage is a real misfortune. After a short period of time, they begin to realize that they absolutely cannot stand life together. What's the matter?
The difference is that some couples build their marriage on true love, while others build on a hobby that is false love. These marriages don't last long.
How do you understand the difference? During the gold rush, many prospectors thought they were "hitting a mine." But later, to their great disappointment, they found out that their find was not real gold, but the worthless mineral pyrite. Pyrite is very similar in appearance to gold, but has no value. It is also called "the gold of fools".
As we said, it is NOT easy to tell the difference between infatuation and true love. In his book "Sex, love or infatuation - how to define it?" Dr. Ray Short provides some key tips to help a person explore their feelings and determine whether they are the real gold of true love or "fool's gold" - a simple hobby.
We'll look at 12 of these keys, but first let me note the following: (1) The order of the keys doesn't matter. Each of them has the same meaning as the rest. (2) These keys should not be selectively accepted. You have to take all 12 into account!
Key # 1 What attracts you the most.
Enthusiasm: When you are passionate, you are more likely to be more interested in the other person's physical characteristics. A beautiful face and a good figure are, of course, very attractive qualities, but appearances can be deceiving. It is like the wrapping paper in which the present is wrapped. It cannot be used to judge what exactly is inside. Moreover, physical beauty is not eternal. Dr. Short says, “Out of a dozen school meetings I attended as a young man, only one comes to mind.“ Young people! the orator said solemnly. - Before marrying a girl because of her pretty face and attractive forms, think about how she will look at 30 years old "And that stopped me"?
True love: If your love is genuine, you will be interested in the personality of your chosen one as a whole. Surely, physical attraction will be present in your feelings, but only along with many other qualities that are attractive to you.
Key # 2 How many different qualities attracts you to this person?
Enthusiasm: Usually the number of such qualities is small, but they can have a very strong effect on you. A guy can go crazy with smiles or his girlfriend's sexy gait.
True love: When you truly love, then you like all or most of the qualities in the other person. Each of us has many characteristics, judgments and attitudes. How many features do you notice in the other, and how many of them do you find attractive? This is important because once the initial excitement after marriage has passed, you will need a lot of shared interests to keep the marriage going and make it successful.
Key # 3 How did it start?
Enthusiasm: Infatuation arises quickly. There is no real love at first sight, but infatuation can flare up at first sight. As one love song says, "the eyes of the lovers met in the crowd, lightning flashed, and they immediately realized that they were made for each other." In reality, they could only understand that they made a good first impression on each other.
True love:
True love always comes slowly. Otherwise it can not be. You have to get to know a person before you can really love him, and that takes time, a long time, to really get to know someone. Long-term courtship is much better than short-term courtship. A year is better than six months, two years are better than one, three years are better than two, and four is better than three. Three years? Four? Yes, the statistics on this subject are absolutely clear. But most young couples do not want to wait even a year. They are in a hurry to get married and from their own experience they are convinced of the validity of the old saying: "In a hurry, you will make people laugh." If you, on your own head, marry too quickly, then you will later have enough time to regret it. 
Key # 4 How consistent is your interest?
Enthusiasm: When you are carried away, your interest flares up and fades away. One of the reasons for this is that the craze arises too quickly, and therefore its roots are not deep. And in general, your relationship is superficial.
True love: When you truly love, your feelings will be rather warm and tender than they will fluctuate from ardent passion to cold indifference, they will be more constant. True love grows slowly, but its roots are deep.
Key # 5 How does feeling affect you?
Enthusiasm: Passion has a disorganizing effect on your personality. Makes you less responsible and effective. Romantic feelings completely take over you, and you walk, immersed in dreams. The girl who says, "I know he has flaws, but nothing matters but our love," is infatuated with ... TEMPORARY! When she gets married, she will eventually find that there is still a lot that matters.
True love: If your love is genuine, your best qualities are manifested and you strive to become even better. The guy who really loves says about his girlfriend: "I love her not only because she is so beautiful, but also because she inspires me to show my best qualities."
Key # 6 How do you feel about others?
Enthusiasm: When you are carried away, for you the whole "universe" revolves around one person. The rest of the relationship seems completely unimportant to you. You are even ready to reject family and friends. Your feeling becomes the most important thing in your life. Only it has meaning for you from now on. You think that for the sake of this delightful "love" that has entered your life, you are forgivable to commit any deeds. As we said earlier, most hobbies are short-lived, but the mistakes you make while under the influence of this feeling often have lifelong consequences.
True love: When you truly love, your loved one is the most important person in the world for you, but relationships with family and friends do not lose their meaning.
Key # 7 How do others view your relationship?
Enthusiasm:
What others think of your "beloved" is a very important test. When you are infatuated, it is likely that your parents and many of your friends will disapprove of this relationship. One of the dangerous things about infatuation is that you tend to idolize another person. You see no flaws because you are "blinded by love." Your friends are trying to point out some danger signs, but you ignore them. Your parents lovingly warn you, trying to prevent you from making a big mistake, but you are not listening. Young people sometimes say: "So what? We are getting married to each other, and not to relatives and friends." You, too, can adhere to this position, but it is unforgivable foolishness to ignore the advice of people who love you. Over the years, both you and your loved one have developed a certain circle of friends. We all strive to be like those whom we choose as friends, they become like us. Therefore, your friends are, in a sense, your "mirror". If you are passionate about someone, friends often do not share these feelings. If they see dangerous signals, you should pay attention to it and listen to their opinion.
True love: When you truly love, your parents and most friends are more likely to approve of your choice. For God to bless your marriage, the consent and approval of your parents is very important.
Key # 8 How does breakup affect?
Enthusiasm: One of the best tests for feeling is the test of distance. If you are simply carried away, then time and distance will kill your feeling, "This explains the breakup of those couples whose main interest was physical attraction. Over time, another living person nearby will replace the beloved who remained only in the photograph.
True love: When you really love, the absence of a loved one only sharpens your feeling. True love will surely stand the test of distance and time. It is based not only on the physical attractiveness of a person, it accepts him as a whole, as a person. Time together helps you grow together. Therefore, during separation, you seem to lose your part. Another person, even a very attractive person, cannot fill the void in your heart. From a distance, of course, you can experience anxiety and sadness. You will be disturbed by the thought: "What if he (or she) meets someone else?" And this can happen. But if your loved one is able to find happiness with someone else, then it is better to find out about this before, and not after marriage. Therefore, if separation is ahead of you, accept it and do not worry. If your feeling is only infatuation, and it will not stand such a test, it is better to find it out before it is too late.
Key # 9 How do disagreements affect feelings?
Enthusiasm: When you are passionate, you often quarrel. You can put up with it, but over time, fights become more frequent and serious. You become like. two porcupines in the cold. When they are apart, they shake from the cold, but as soon as they press against each other, they prick each other with their needles. "Phil and Alice met for more than two years. During this time, they quarreled and reconciled at least once a month. Disagreements arose because of any trifle or imaginary insult. Both played terrible jealousy. And then Maria, Alice's best friend, tried to reveal to them One day Alice shared with her the details of the last quarrel and threatened: “Let him just try to get me back! I won't even talk to him! "" I think that you will, Alice, "Maria gently addressed her," but I hope that you will firmly tell him: "Goodbye, Phil, it's over." And then she explained her position to a surprised friend: "You both awaken the worst in each other. You quarrel because you have nothing else to talk about. Strife, tears and romantic" reconciliation "only relieve you of boredom.
True love: When you truly love, you may have disagreements, but true love survives them, and fights become less frequent and less serious.Every couple must learn to resolve conflicts. It is far better to discuss disagreements openly and honestly than to allow them to smolder at heart.
Key # 10 How do you view your relationship?
Enthusiasm:
When you are carried away, you tend to think of yourself and your loved one as two people, and accordingly use pronouns in your thoughts and speech: "I", "me", "mine", "he", "him", or "she", "her". You think of you as two separate individuals.
True love: When you really love, you usually use the words: "we", "our", "us". You think of you as one. This key may not seem so important when you are just dating, but it does matter a lot in marriage. When a marriage is based on infatuation, the husband and wife may find more pleasure in pursuing different interests than in joint activities. A husband may aspire and want to "go out with friends" more than spending time at home with his family. Or the wife will become more interested in her social connections than household responsibilities. In families where true love exists, it is a pleasure for the husband and wife to do things together. The frequent answer here is, "I don't want to go if you can't go too."
Silver Key # 11 Are you selfish or unselfish?
Enthusiasm: When you are infatuated, your interest in another person is mostly selfish. A guy can date a beautiful and noticeable girl, only because it flatters his pride, raises his prestige. She may be moody and spoiled, but since she is the "queen" of the school, he becomes the "king" by her side. Likewise, a girl can keep a guy "on a leash" not because she is really interested in him, but because his loyalty raises her value in the eyes of others.
True love: When you really love, you like a person for what he is, and not because he can help you assert yourself.
Silver Key # 12 What is the basis of your feelings?
Enthusiasm: Is it your goal to find someone who will fully devote his life to making you happy? Do you care about yourself first? If yes, then you are only carried away. Your overall attitude is selfish - you care most about what you can get out of this relationship.
True love:
Love is selfless and devoted. You strive to do your best to bring joy to another. You are primarily interested in what you can give, not receive. 
* * *
Assess your feeling. Take a piece of paper and carefully study the keys, starting with the first. Give an assessment of your feelings for each of them. If you want, the keys can show not only whether your love is real, but also a certain degree of your feelings. In most cases, the keys show a mixture of infatuation and true love. Therefore, rate each key on a ten-point scale. Zero would mean infatuation and 10 would mean love. For example, looking at key # 1, you might decide, "To be perfectly honest, I was mainly interested in physical attractiveness, so I'll give myself two points." If, examining key # 7, you see that about half of your friends approve of your choice, and half do not, in this case, give yourself five points. When you evaluate yourself on all twelve keys, add up the points you have accumulated. An overall score of 80 points or higher shows that your senses are reasonably reliable. For your part, you can think that your love is capable of becoming the basis for a successful marriage. But this is only from your side.
The person you love must also pass this test and score a large number of points. Love should be mutual. No matter how much you love this person, one-sided love will not help. He should feel the same feelings in return. If you scored between 50 and 80 points, you will need more time to see how your relationship develops. If your score is less than 50, you are only passionate. So try to keep your heart. First of all, do not complicate the relationship with sexual intercourse and do not rush to marriage.
Also note the following: A high score on this test does not necessarily mean that you are ready for marriage. Firstly, you may still be too young for marriage, even if you have scored a lot of points. Secondly, even if you are of the right age, you may simply not know each other well. As we said, you need to know each other well for at least two years before thinking about marriage.
"I love you!" - what are the necessary and expected words, especially when they are heard for the first time. Any woman, having heard them, instantly becomes happy and does not even think: is this not a lie ?! Or maybe it's just an impulse of feelings? It seems like the deed is done - said - swept away: this man is already mine.
But what is true love? In short, these are unselfish actions for the sake of a loved one, sometimes backed up by words. Does it last for life? Of course, if a truly loved one does not trample this feeling in the mud: selfishness, deception and betrayal.
How the acts of true love are manifested
Have you seen the English movie Love Actually? If not, then it would be worth it, because he makes it clear in what and in what actions true love can be recognized, and what sacrifices sometimes have to be made.
Ten storylines about true love, and here are some of the brightest:
The prime minister is in love with a secretary from a poor neighborhood. It seems to him that it is necessary to solve world problems, but here feelings are over the edge, especially for a simpleton. But in the end, the whole country learns that the prime minister also has a burning heart, despite his career.
Juliet and Peter, who are married, have a friend, Mark. Juliet always took offense at Mark for his irritable coldness towards her and thought that he hated her. But in the end, she learned that his sullenness was a passionate love for her. Mark promised to love her all his life, but he himself remains alone.
The writer and his maid have a language barrier. But the attraction to each other is very great and without further ado. Forced short-term separation pushes the writer to a crash course in Portuguese, and the desire to propose to her. It is not surprising that during this time the maid herself mastered English for his sake.
John and Judy are stunt doubles for bed scenes, and very frank ones. It would seem - what is easier, to have sex for real, because they almost did it. But they are seriously in love, and even timidly try to at least make friends. The first romantic kiss and an invitation to a date seem emotionally ridiculous.
The widower Daniel has a hard time going to another world of his wife. But for her sake, he does not leave his stepson and brings up him as his own. Any boy's wishes are fulfilled almost every second. Daniel even helps his stepson win the love of his classmate.
Like this: simple life situations, but how much sense they have, proving that true love really exists. You can sacrifice your career, hide love behind timidity, do incredible things, put an end to your personal life, and all just so that your loved one is happy. Even if he's already in heaven.
When the signs of true love show
Can you fall in love at first sight? Almost, only this is still love. You can read about it and its development in the article.
Falling in love does not turn out right away. Nature itself gives time even for the mother to be able to love her child. Long 9 months of blind habit and postpartum depression are given by nature for a reason. And only in rare women the same maternal instinct does not work.
The same is in love between a man and a woman - it must be "endured" in order to understand: this feeling is forever. Yes, you will have to sacrifice something, and step on the throat of your own ego, and get used to the habits and shortcomings of your beloved.
But these are not terrible sacrifices, sometimes they are even for the good of the lover himself. A person learns a lot, changes himself somewhere, becomes wiser. But for this “good” it is precisely mutual love that is needed so as not to break your heart.
There is, of course, no specific date when this very true love ripens. You will understand this yourself when you show signs of "ripening":
- your own self takes second place;
- i want to give more than take away;
- your help to your beloved man becomes "fast";
- it is difficult to part with him even for a day.
Well, everything, you got it. If your lover has all these signs, then you can be congratulated - you are a happy couple.
Is true love always mutual
Unfortunately not. If we return to the film "Love Actually", to the plot about Mark and Juliet, then we can understand that Mark's sacrifice, although voluntary, is painful. There are people who were not lucky enough to fall in love with an unfree person, and even with coldness on his part.
But they are somehow happy in their own way in their suffering. They just need to occasionally see their loved one, know what is good for him, help him in difficult times and even at the same time not reveal their feelings. They are disinterested - and this is their love.
This kind of passion can be lifelong. Well, that's why they are monogamous. It is more terrible when the beloved feel this passion and use it with might and main, as on the rights of "best friend" - selfishly and shamelessly.
But such insolent people usually return everything like a boomerang. The greedy hysterical woman takes away every penny from her loving husband during a divorce, and in her old age she uses the services of a gigolo. It is he who, in turn, takes everything from her. Serves her right!
But if you yourself suffer from unrequited feelings, then you should read the article. It's time to arrange your personal life after all.
What true mutual love hates
Almost every couple has minor quarrels from misunderstandings. In principle, this is normal: logic and thinking are different for people of different genders. But quarrels are still a slight shake-up of emotions, they have nothing to do with love.
It's another matter when there are dirty "qualities" in a relationship that kill love:
Selfishness. All these marriages of convenience, beautiful words for sex, flirting for profit - this has nothing to do with deep feelings. Even if it seems to a person that somewhere in his soul there is something similar to love, this is a delusion.
Treason. A true lover will never allow even the thought of adultery. He does not compare his most important person in his life with other applicants for the bed. On the contrary, he eventually becomes "untouchable" - even harmless kisses and hugs with other people become unpleasant to him.
Indifference. Everything happens in life: accidents, illnesses, litigation, poverty and other troubles. A true lover will never leave his loved one in trouble, even at the cost of his life, if he has to sacrifice this too.
Insults. This is about squabbling where words fall below the baseboard. All these "stinking goat", "stupid fool", "skew-handed freak" and so on. I would not say obscenities. But it is even worse when all this rubbish is washed out of the hut and crumbles for relatives and friends.
And also love does not tolerate separation. Lovers do not need freedom from each other, they cannot "breathe" communication or even just being next to the game of silence. Smell, voice, touch of a loved one - they need all this like air.
Does true love pass
Monogamous never. Even if they create a new family, they will still think about the object of their adoration. Unfortunately, in this situation, everyone is unhappy - both the monogamous man himself and his new chosen one. And if such a family has children, then perhaps they are not so desirable.
But in other cases, if a loved one has nevertheless poisoned his feelings with his dirty qualities, love can pass. But this is also for the best ?! Why put up with something that is not originally yours?
I got sick, relieved, period! One can only summarize this novel in the words of S.Ya. Marshka:
Don't spoil the blood
Trying in vain
Bring back the past againS.Ya. Marshak, "The Tale of Stupidity"
And all because no one has yet given an exact definition of true love.
Did you know that love is a disease? In any case, the World Health Organization ranked it as a mental illness and even issued a special serial number. From now on, the international cipher of love in the registry of diseases is F 63.9. And like all diseases, love also revealed its symptoms: obsessive thoughts, insomnia, sudden mood swings, unexpected impulsive actions, headaches and drops in blood pressure.But still, when we have a headache or have no sleep all night long, we are the last to think that these are signals of the approach of great love. The real feeling is difficult to explain, but a number of obvious signs can be listed.
1. You have no doubts
If Cupid shoots in the heart, then this shot is well-aimed and leaves the victim no chance of salvation. We fall in love irreversibly: neither relatives, nor circumstances, nor distance, nor natural disasters can prevent this feeling.
Let your friends repeat a thousand times that he is not a couple for you, and your mother will confidently declare that she did not raise you for this - this will not raise any doubts about the sincerity and correctness of feelings. You just understand that the puzzle has taken shape: with this person you clearly see your own future in a year, five, ten years and imagine him as a spouse and parent.
2. You cannot answer the question: "Why do you love him?"
Not because you lost your mind and shame from love, but at the same time your memory, but there is no answer for you. You do not love for something specific, but for the fact that it just is. You feel that he is your significant other. Of course, you can flirt that you fell in love with beautiful eyes or a thick wallet. But such reasons have nothing to do with true love.
3. Ignore others
“Autumn has come, the leaves are falling. I don't need anyone except "you" - here is a comic, but extremely short and understandable description of this sign of love. You completely pour out all your emotions on one person and are completely indifferent to others. Even if Johnny Depp himself or Til Schweiger descends to you from the starry Olympus, you will be extremely pleased, but you still will not leave your dear and beloved Vasya.
4. Feel safe
With a loved one, under any circumstances, there is a feeling of reliability. It enters your comfort zone, warmth and unity allows you to be completely relaxed and calm.
5. Your relationship is developing
Sometimes it takes a while for love to take shape. If the initial passions in the relationship have subsided, and the desire to give tenderness and care is only gaining momentum, this is another sure sign.
6. You get better
Inspired by a bright feeling, a person has an incentive to grow and develop, become more interesting, more attractive. At the same time, true love will not require unbearable sacrifices and total changes of your “I” from you. There should be no hard work in love: confident work on oneself - yes, but it should not oblige to sacrifice.
7. Learn to forgive
Collecting a collection of grievances is a futile exercise. Love, although it is a disease F 63.9, in this case serves as a universal vaccine against this hobby. Lovers are always ready to forgive one another. This is not easy for them: sometimes years literally take years. Feelings of resentment are also very strong and often compete with love. Where the betrayal occurs, a serious spiritual battle begins. Strong love can overcome all grievances and heal any mental wounds.
8. You are one team
You play according to the general rules and do not score balls into your own goal. Do not complain to others about the shortcomings of your beloved and you can be sure that he is a mountain behind you. You are links in one chain, two independent, equal and equal figures.
9. You know how to be silent with each other
Having fun chatting on the phone all night long is a sure sign of interest in each other. These nocturnal conversations usually start love stories of various sizes. But sometimes silence bears witness to much more. When the silence between you does not create an awkward pause, a quiet dialogue between two souls begins.
10. Your feelings may not last forever
There is a myth among lovers that true love is something that happens once in life. If you have already fallen in love, you will never stop loving, and if you have lost your love, you will never experience it again. But in life everything changes and everything, unfortunately or fortunately, passes. Love is a skill akin to cycling: once you have learned it, you cannot unlearn it. After an unfortunate fall, it quite helps to get up and continue to move towards new love.
It is also important to keep in mind that everyone has their own formula for true love, their own secret - the place from which the necessary inspiration and nourishment is drawn.