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Emotional instability of the mother during breastfeeding. The influence of the psychological health of the mother on the development of the psyche of the child

Expecting a child, giving birth and caring for a newborn is the most important period in the life of every woman, which should be accompanied by feelings of joy and satisfaction. At the same time, the emotional, hormonal and physical changes in a woman's body that occur during this period can cause sadness, confusion, fear, and possibly even anger and aggressiveness. Most women cope with these emotional problems over time, but for some they not only do not go away, but also intensify, acquiring forms of maternal depression.

During pregnancy and after childbirth, women often experience manifestations of maternal depression. This condition is associated with a complex of physical and emotional changes that can negatively affect the relationship between mother and child, its development and the life of the family as a whole.

Prenatal depression develops during pregnancy when a woman's body undergoes biological and hormonal changes. Among the symptoms of such depression are frequent mood swings, bouts of bad mood, tearfulness, irritability, and insomnia. Similar phenomena are observed from time to time in all pregnant women. Some women who have experienced depression before childbirth continue to suffer from depression after childbirth.

postpartum depression

Postpartum, or "maternal," sadness is considered the norm. This state of tearfulness, reduced physical and emotional tone, general fatigue and irritability usually occurs on the fifth day after the birth of the child and lasts 7-10 days. 50-80% of new mothers go through this condition; It does not harm them or the child. There is no need to treat postpartum sadness. But health professionals should warn the pregnant woman and the puerperal about the possible experience of such a condition, explain its cause and provide information on where to get specialist help if necessary.

Postpartum depression is characterized by a condition that requires the attention of a healthcare professional. During pregnancy, the amount of female hormones (progesterone and estrogen) in the body increases significantly. During the first 24 hours after the birth of a child, the amount of these hormones in the body rapidly drops to their normal "non-pregnant" levels. Scientists believe that it is this dramatic change in hormone levels that can cause depression in a woman. There is another reason for postpartum depression. It is not uncommon for thyroid hormone levels to drop significantly after the baby is born, which can lead to symptoms of depression, including low mood, loss of interest in the world around them, irritability, weakness, early fatigue, difficulty concentrating, sleep and appetite disturbances, weight gain. in weight.

Symptoms of postpartum depression, including feelings of guilt, worthlessness, indecision and despair, occur in approximately 8-15% of women during the first year after giving birth. These symptoms can appear for periods ranging from a few weeks to a year or longer. Women with these symptoms need immediate help and treatment.

Depression after the birth of a child can occur in both parents, which poses an increased risk for a full-fledged child. Depression in a man does not allow him to fully fulfill the family role of father and husband, therefore, when symptoms of depression appear, the father of the child should also seek help from specialists.

Malnutrition, poor living conditions, lack of help and support from the husband, family and environment increase the risk of maternal depression.

Causes of depression

There are many reasons that can cause depression in a pregnant woman and a young mother. The tendency to depression may be hereditary. Along with hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy and after childbirth, the development of depression can be triggered by factors such as:

  • malnutrition and malnutrition, poor in vitamins;
  • alcohol and drug abuse;
  • a difficult life situation caused by an acute shortage or lack of means of subsistence, housing for oneself and a child;
  • events in life that cause stress (death of loved ones, constant scandals in the family, trouble at work, moving to a new place of residence);
  • lack of support from the husband (father of the child), family and friends;
  • chronic infections, including sexually transmitted infections;
  • excessive anxiety about their own health and the health of the unborn child.

Depression can be caused by the fact of an unwanted pregnancy, memories of sexual abuse, childhood abuse. Postpartum depression can also be caused by:

  • a feeling of fatigue after childbirth, a change in the usual daily routine, sleep patterns, an increase in the load due to the birth of a baby, which do not allow the mother to return to normal physical condition for several weeks after childbirth;
  • feeling overwhelmed by the need to care for a child and doubting her own ability to become a good mother: worries about what she wants, but cannot be an impeccable mother and mistress, increase feelings of anxiety and stress;
  • the emergence of a feeling of loss of individuality, loss of control over one's own life, a decrease in sexual attractiveness;
  • the need to stay at home to care for the child and the lack of communication with friends, loved one and loved ones.

Although it has been proven that depression can happen to almost any woman both during and after pregnancy, one should pay attention to these prerequisites and risk factors in order to prevent or prepare in advance for possible manifestations of depression.

A mother who is in a depressed state cannot have a positive emotional impact on the child and sufficiently stimulate its development, which is fraught with a delay in the development of the child.

Some women who suffer from depression stop taking care of themselves. They begin to eat poorly, suffer from constant fatigue and insomnia, do not visit a doctor, do not follow medical prescriptions, and may begin to abuse harmful substances such as tobacco, alcohol and drugs.

The emotional state of the child

Depression can seriously affect a woman's ability to perform her maternal functions. Loss of interest in the child, irritability and fatigue can prevent the mother from giving the child the necessary love, tenderness and caress and providing him with proper care. As a result, a woman develops a sense of guilt, she loses self-confidence as a mother, which further aggravates her depressive state.

A newborn child is emotionally dependent on the mother's voice, gestures, movements and facial expressions. Its development is largely determined by external stimulation, primarily from the mother. However, a mother experiencing postpartum depression avoids emotional contact with the child, communicates reluctantly and infrequently with him. All this can have a negative impact on the development of the child, cause him emotional and behavioral problems, difficulty sleeping.

Young children whose mothers have experienced severe postpartum depression may develop emotional disturbances, resulting in developmental delay. Older kids may show aggression towards adults and other children. In kindergarten or school, they may experience problems in relationships with peers, with motivation to study, distrust of adults.

It is important to know and be able to recognize the symptoms of maternal depression in time. If they last more than two or three weeks, a woman needs professional advice.


What to do?

The most important thing in the manifestation of any form of depression during pregnancy and especially after it is to recognize its symptoms in time and take steps to overcome it. Many women hide these symptoms from others because they feel embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty about their depression when others think they should be happy. They worry about being considered failed, bad mothers. During this life period, depression can happen to any woman. This in no way means that she is inadequate or a bad mother. Depression is not something to be ashamed of, depression is bad, and it must be fought. The father of the child can provide special support in overcoming depression to a woman. It is important that he was a full participant in the process of raising and caring for the child. The opportunity to share responsibility with a loved one greatly facilitates the condition of the mother. Also during this period, a woman needs the support of loved ones and friends.

Here are some simple tips for women who have identified symptoms of depression:

  • try to rest as much as possible, sleep when your baby sleeps;
  • stop trying to do everything. It's impossible to do everything. Do as much as you can and leave the rest for later;
  • Do not hesitate to ask for help around the house from loved ones. These are temporary difficulties that will pass when the child grows up;
  • try to be alone with your spouse or loved one, tell him about your experiences and feelings, do not hide them in yourself;
  • do not spend much time alone; leave the house more often, at least for a short time, to do small purchases or just take a walk;
  • communicate with other mothers, learn and share experiences;
  • if symptoms of depression persist, seek help from a psychologist.

For depressed mothers, it is very important to continue breastfeeding.

Many women who experience depression in the postpartum period associate their mood with breastfeeding their baby. However, the cause of depression may lie in a completely different plane, and it is not rational to deprive a child, since one of the hormones released during breastfeeding (oxytocin) has an antidepressant effect. Many mothers who stop breastfeeding a child due to the onset of depression not only do not feel better, but also notice a deterioration in their condition.

Special edition "Facts for Life", developed and published by
with the assistance of the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF), www.unicef.ru

Discussion

Everything was exactly as written for me: tearfulness, guilt, desire to do everything, etc. But many thanks to my husband for his support and help, which allowed me to recover as early as 3 weeks after giving birth and enjoy caring for the baby :)

10/27/2009 10:17:12 PM, hbnbr

And yet, about shopping, a very convenient thing is food at home. Through the Internet, or by phone, there are now many different possibilities ... This helped us out, instead of running around the shops on the weekend, my husband and I calmly walk with a stroller, and the products will come by themselves. Well, not everyone has a car yet...

04/24/2008 07:36:41 PM, Mom is me.

And I was 2.5-3 months old, I realized that problems should be solved as they come up ... I calmed down, and in my opinion everything works out. Although I am also alone all day, my husband only arrives at 20.00. His parents are in another country I can’t leave my daughter with my mother, it’s not customary with us, so to speak. And that’s all, the relatives are gone.

04/24/2008 19:29:59, Mom is me.

I had depression with my oldest child of 6 months only. During pregnancy, I also read a lot of smart advice. But then I realized that most of the advice is not for me. It’s not enough to ask for help, everyone is at work, including my husband. Shopping with a stroller is problematic. Communicate with other mothers too, because when everyone goes out for a walk, we are already going home. The lark got it. Well, it is natural to get out to a psychologist - this is generally unrealistic. I got out of the LCD after giving birth when the child was 9 months old. And there, by the way, a huge announcement on the door hangs that entry with strollers is prohibited.

Comment on the article "Psycho-emotional state of mother and child"

Preterm birth and depression. Mother's condition. A child from birth to one year. Care and upbringing of a child up to a year: nutrition, illness, development. Depression after childbirth - how to help a young mother. Thanks! 7ya.ru - information project on family issues...

Discussion

If you want to keep the GV, then decant and decant. Hands, breast pump - what can you do. There is Cons on GW, ingenious! And also mom hurried. It will help to establish guards, calm ..
And if you feel that you can’t cope on your own, a psychologist. There is also contact. GW friendly.
And ask God for help...

Calm down, the family needs you in your mind, without hysteria ..
When the baby is discharged, nest, the kangaroo method (undress to a diaper and you have a naked body and endless hugs))). Yes, at this moment the whole family should stand shoulder to shoulder and take care of themselves .. and even you - a thermos with tea, broth, hot food ...

Everything will be fine! Pray you and many others will pray for Pavlusha!

exhale, you are not the first and, unfortunately, not the last.
Ask for help, allow yourself to be weak, try to sleep more, rest and do not reproach yourself for anything.
My twins were born at 36 weeks by emergency c-section. Sevushka - the eldest of the twins got my edema + Rh conflict. On the very first day of mechanical ventilation, urgent hospitalization in Filatovka. Then jaundice was added to the ventilator, bilirubin went off scale, they were preparing for a complete blood transfusion ... With all this, they did not let me out of the RD, because. I lost almost a liter of blood during ECS ​​and my kidneys worked very badly.
We sewed in several ways at once: 1 - the doctors from Filatovka asked to bring the second twin, arguing that a healthier baby would pull a weaker one. Doctors in the Republic of Dagestan agreed to help, wrote Senechka some kind of diagnosis and transferred to Filatovka.
2) on the same day, the babies were christened in intensive care.
I don't know what exactly helped: our prayers, baptism, twin brother nearby, BUT the next morning bilirubin began to fall and the question of a blood transfusion was dropped. Gradually, my children began to improve. Seva spent 12 days on a ventilator and was fed through a tube for a couple more days.
My Senechka was born very small, 46 cm tall and 2500 weight, Sevushka was larger, but not much.
My boyfriends quickly caught up with their peers, by six months they no longer differed from single-borns at term in anything, which wildly pleased and surprised both the pediatrician and the neurologist.

Calm down, you will need strength, and your son will definitely get better, he will grow up handsome, healthy and smart to the delight of dad and mom.

postpartum depression .... Mom's condition. A child from birth to one year. Care and upbringing of a child up to a year: nutrition, illness, development. Section: Mom's condition (has anyone had it? how did you cope?) postpartum depression ...

Discussion

I didn’t have it, because the first one was very long-awaited, then the children were born almost in a row - there was no time and no need to suffer) I really wish you that everything would go back to normal as soon as possible, and that’s exactly what it will be, it takes time, support from loved ones, another change of scenery can Switch you - go at least to a holiday home for the weekend with the whole family) do not be sad: summer, warm, you have a second baby, everything is wonderful)

As I understand you, only time helped me, be patient a little, it will become easier, get used to your condition, the child will begin to give his love and your problems will not seem so complicated. Although I confess to me and now stupid thoughts climb into my head))

07/17/2013 12:31:45 pm, STC

Depression of a mother with many children. Large families. And in a large family, the mother's children need serious help ... Depression of a mother of many children. I went to the sea with the children - only even more tired. Depression of a mother with many children. And my husband is the same...

Discussion

In past years, I thought it was depression and lack of finances. Ha ha, then I found out that it can be worse, and there is no time to suffer from depression, just "I'll think about it tomorrow" (c)

I have three children, the oldest is 4 years old, the middle one is 3 and the youngest is 1. The middle child has autism. Well, to say I'm depressed is an understatement. When the little one was half a year old, she was even afraid to open the windows, as there was a desire to throw herself out. Panic attacks developed from stress. Constant lack of sleep, chronic stress, eternal lack of money, even the pampas had to be abandoned, it's just tough, you have to clean and wash at home all the time (srach breeds instantly), endless trips to the clinic. There is no place in the apartment where they won't get you. Many thanks to the special kindergarten, where they took the middle daughter, if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be here. So it could be much worse, don't be sad.

08/30/2017 03:06:56 PM, Bridges

Mom's well-being after childbirth. Medical questions. A child from birth to one year. Care and upbringing of a child up to a year: nutrition, illness, development. Feeling good after childbirth. The emotional state of the mother. Pregnancy and childbirth.

The emotional state of the mother. Pregnancy and childbirth. Prenatal depression? The emotional state of the mother. The condition of a woman after childbirth and treatment by a psychiatrist. Is this my prenatal psychosis? 07/26/2005 12:46:14 pm, mother Yasi (25)

Oh bad feeling. Mother's condition. A child from birth to one year. Feeling good after childbirth. The emotional state of the mother. Pregnancy and childbirth. A young mother after childbirth: when the maternal instinct kicks in.

Discussion

Nda-ah-ah... It sucks... . I didn’t have such a bouquet in the first month, but I have an older daughter who had to be escorted to school, met, fed, and done homework despite my condition.
I can give you some advice that helped me get through the first month. The first is to rest, sleep, just lie down. Spit on everything, washing, ironing, cleaning will wait. Cooking is the easiest. Best in the oven. My daughter is already almost three months old, so during all this time I have fried meat on the stove several times. Everything is in the oven. Saves a lot of time and energy.
Farther. For bleeding, try nettle. Helped me a lot. Again, good for lactation. And I had bleeding for seven weeks, and at times very plentiful.
With constipation, vaseline suppositories are good, but you should not use them all the time, the intestines should work on their own. I save myself with carrots. In the morning, on an empty stomach, about ten minutes before breakfast, one medium carrot and the day is saved.
Also, about the baby. No boiling and ironing and other unnecessary and life-complicating activities. There is no need to bathe a baby every day at this age, wiping is enough. Now the baby does not need excellent, household, and so on. mom, mom needs a healthy one.
So hold on The first month is the hardest, then it gets easier.

Guys, we join the wonderful advice below and wish not to lose heart! Soon everything will be fine and will be great. Well, what to do, our sweet children are not given to anyone for nothing, although it is easier for someone, harder for someone, but we all pay for this happiness. Nothing, stay strong! And tell your dad that he is great, that he is so helpful and supportive.
We are with you!!! Happy New Year! Natasha

Look, if you are interested, my article on this topic in "Devichnik", heading "Baby" www.devichnik.ru

Often, joy after the birth of a child is replaced by sadness in the mood of a young mother. All experiences are already behind, the baby is healthy and full of energy, life goes on. However, instead of feeling the joy of accomplished motherhood, a woman suddenly feels very tired, broken and completely exhausted. Why does this happen and how to deal with postpartum apathy?

Causes of apathy in the postpartum period

The root cause of the fact that a young mother feels tired after childbirth is hormonal changes in the body. Hormones are involved in all processes occurring in the body and sudden changes in the production of one or another hormone can lead to a bad mood, irritability and sadness. The hormonal background, as a rule, normalizes during the first weeks after childbirth, and ideally, the mood of the young mother should also return to normal, but as practice shows, this does not always happen.

The second reason for feeling unwell can be heavy bleeding and complications after childbirth. Physical exhaustion, which arose due to large blood loss, is often manifested by dizziness, lack of appetite, apathy and unwillingness to care for the baby. This mood will pass as soon as the physical condition of the mother returns to normal.

The third cause of negative emotions is postpartum stress. This condition is observed in 80% of women who have given birth. Stress brings with it a loss of appetite, a feeling of chronic fatigue, a lack of desire to enjoy life, dissatisfaction with everything around, self-pity and sleep disturbances.

Stress can be dangerous, and over a long period of time it can develop into postpartum depression. In this case, it will be difficult for a woman to return to a normal life on her own, and the help of a specialist will be required.

How to recognize the causes of apathy

Experts say that the state of chronic fatigue in the first months after childbirth is most often associated with physical exhaustion. The woman's body is really tired during the period of gestation and childbirth. Hormonal surges, emotional stress, postpartum complications and lifestyle changes affect vitality and physical activity.

In order to get in shape again and start enjoying life, a young mother needs to rest more, walk in the fresh air and eat properly, fully.

If heavy bleeding was observed during childbirth, it is necessary to take tests for the content of iron in the blood. Iron deficiency anemia often masquerades as stress and fatigue.

How to avoid complications in the first months

In order to avoid psychological stress and be able to live a full happy life, you need to help yourself in the first months after childbirth.

  1. After the birth of the baby, you should carefully follow all the recommendations of doctors. Postpartum therapy is aimed at the speedy recovery of a woman from all birth injuries and complications. You need a lot of rest, especially in the hospital, eat right and sleep well.
  2. After discharge from the maternity hospital, you should also try to rest as much as possible. Ask a close relative to take care of all household chores. Sleep when your baby sleeps, go for walks in the fresh air and include more vitamins in your diet.
  3. In the first weeks after childbirth, carefully monitor your health. If you suddenly experience sudden bleeding, pain or, on the contrary, the discharge stops abruptly, consult a doctor immediately. Do not neglect the planned visit to the gynecologist, which should take place 10-14 days after the birth. This will allow specialists to adequately assess your condition and prevent possible complications in time.
  4. Avoid overexertion and heavy lifting. If the birth was natural from the second week, you can start doing elementary physical exercises that will help restore muscle tone and cheer you up. Loads must be increased gradually.
  5. Many young mothers can tell you when to rest here, if you need to wash, clean and disinfect everything? Stop, baby this is not a greenhouse plant, you do not need to wash the whole house with bleach every day. Forget Mr. Proper and Domestos! General cleaning should be done, but not more than once a week. All other days you can just keep order. The main rules for you should be washing your hands before taking the baby, clean and ironed clothes of the child and regular hygiene procedures. In this case, your baby is not afraid of numerous microbes to which he must adapt.
  6. Leave the child alone. Many mothers flutter over their little ones like little ones, and even wake him up so that he eats on time! Relax, rest while the baby is sleeping, he will wake up and demand food when he needs it.

When, after giving birth, a woman can sleep with her husband again and what you need to know about resuming a relationship

This is how you can help your body recover quickly in the first weeks after childbirth and regain the joy of life.

If the apathy continues

If you get enough rest, eat right, walk a lot, and the state of fatigue does not go away after 6 months after giving birth, you need to look at yourself from the outside and take measures to correct the situation.

The reasons for the continuation of apathy lie in your attitude towards yourself and the world around you.

Many women simply cannot adapt to new living conditions in time and experience stress after childbirth. It seems to them that something is too difficult to be a mother. Of course, motherhood is hard work. And this work will continue all your life, because no matter how old your child becomes, for you he will remain your baby, and all your life you will worry and worry about him.

You thought things would be different. Everyone thinks so. Everyone thinks that the figure will remain the same, the relationship with her husband is romantic, and the child will sleep at night and never get sick. In order to do so, you need to work. After all, the family and relationships within it is a constant work, primarily on oneself. Here are some tips on how to get out of the difficult psychological state of postpartum stress:

  • You must like yourself. Go in for sports, put yourself in order, change your hairstyle, take off your bathrobe. Many women, forced to become a housewife after childbirth, stop taking care of themselves and every look in the mirror brings sadness and melancholy to them. Make it a rule to smile at yourself every morning. Then your day will start with positive emotions, and this is very important for a healthy atmosphere within the family.
  • Do not vent your irritation on the child and others. This will only aggravate the situation, serve as a cause for concern for the baby and alienation of the husband.
  • Develop. Maternity leave is a great opportunity to learn something new. Learn a new profession, for this you just need to turn on the computer, do what you love, and you will see that the world around you has begun to change rapidly and the colors of life are gradually returning.
  • Bring back a vibrant intimate life. Sexual satisfaction is very important both for a man's self-esteem and for harmony in a woman's soul. The baby still sleeps a lot, and you can easily find some time for romantic meetings with your husband.

How to deal with postpartum depression on your own

The postpartum period is a difficult test for many women. In this situation, it is important to remember that a lot depends on your emotional state. First of all, this concerns the child, because if the mother is nervous and annoyed, the baby immediately reacts with crying and anxiety. Return joy to your family, and you will become a truly happy mother and wife!

You can often hear the alarmed stories of mothers that their children throw unreasonable tantrums, get nervous a lot, and may even show aggression. In many cases, this can be explained by the unstable emotional state of the mother during pregnancy. Oddly enough, from the very first day the baby appears inside a woman, her every word and action affects the baby. Alas, this has been repeatedly proven by researchers.

Stages of pregnancy

Since ancient times, a woman in a position was treated in a special way. She was not allowed to get nervous and tired, provided maximum comfort and all conveniences. Today, in the frantic pace of life, this is often forgotten. Absolutely in vain. It turns out that intrauterine development leaves an imprint on the further development of the child.

Divided into three trimesters:

  • first trimester - from the first to 12 weeks of pregnancy;
  • the second trimester - from 13 to 27, the fetus grows and develops, all systems and organs are laid in it;
  • third trimester - from 28 to 40 weeks, all organs and systems finally mature for independent functioning.

The first and third trimesters are considered the most difficult. It is during this period that a woman should pay maximum attention to both her physical comfort and psychological. Doctors say that from the age of 3 months the baby feels touch. He hears speech and feels emotions. If they are negative, he reacts in a certain way. From affectionate speech, the baby calms down, from aggressive speech - it becomes restless. The kid can even memorize phrases that are often repeated. From 20 weeks he shows his character. If you don't like something, you can turn away. These facts have been confirmed in many studies.

How to provide an unborn baby emotional peace

Everyone knows that during pregnancy, the expectant mother should avoid showdowns, screams, scandals, unpleasant information. Bad mood and nerves are transmitted to the child through the circulatory system. The expectant mother's breathing quickens, her heart begins to beat faster. The same thing happens with the baby. Why injure the child's psyche in the womb? If you follow the following tips, the child will be born psychologically healthy and intellectually developed:

  1. No stress and scandals. It is necessary to decide: is it so important to sort things out if a child can suffer because of this? All conflictogens must be left in the past - without a shadow of regret.
  2. From the age of three months, the child feels touch and hears sounds from the outside. It is necessary to stroke the stomach more often, sing songs - a pleasant melody will positively affect the development of intelligence in the future.
  3. The unborn child already has a certain sense of taste. He can like sweet or, conversely, salty. That is why it is advised to cook during pregnancy only tasty and healthy food, no spicy and fatty foods, only light and nutritious, those that are drawn to.

Starting from the fourth month of life inside the mother, the baby is perfectly aware of what is happening in the outside world. He begins to feel his desirability, the attitude of his parents, their relationship to each other. Someone who has a negative prenatal experience is more likely to carry the emotional discomfort into their life after birth. Such feelings remain for life. That's why it's so important to focus on how you feel during pregnancy. There is nothing more important than the comfort of your own child, no troubles in life are worth his suffering.

Double alarm: what thoughts of a pregnant woman do not like the unborn child

Marina Golubtsova, family psychologist, gestalt therapist, doula, told the magazine “My Baby and Me” about how the psychological state of a pregnant woman affects her unborn child.

It would be strange to say that the life of a child begins only from the moment of birth; in fact, its existence begins much earlier - from its intrauterine development, from the moment of the birth of a new life inside the mother's organism. The mother begins to feel the child long before it is born. For a child, a mother during pregnancy is the Universe in which he develops and grows. The baby gets acquainted with the world around him through communication and interaction with his mother.

One emotion for two

The first experience of emotional states, so far at the level of physiological reactions, the child receives in the period of intrauterine development. If some emotions are experienced by the mother, then they are transmitted to the baby.

There are studies of ultrasound diagnostics, which show how babies repeat maternal emotions: if the mother is joyful, the baby smiles, if the mother is scared, the child also begins to frown and get nervous. This is because the placenta, which protects the baby from harmful influences, does not protect him from the action of maternal hormones. which include, among other things, stress hormones - adrenaline, cortisol.

If the expectant mother is frightened, adrenaline begins to be produced in her, the pulse becomes more frequent - and therefore the pulse of the child also quickens. But if the mother's condition quickly returns to normal, then the baby needs much more time to "recover."

Modern research confirms that there is a clear relationship between the emotional state of the expectant mother and how her pregnancy and childbirth will proceed, as well as the future character and health of the baby.

Why Pregnancy Turns Off Part of the Brain

How often a woman, seeing two stripes, thinks: “Oh, how inopportune ... I haven’t had time to go on vacation yet (make repairs, defend my dissertation, etc.).” Pregnancy, even if it was planned, often turns out to be "inappropriate". It turns out that the woman had many plans for the near future, which she wanted to realize.

But nature took care of how to moderate the Napoleonic plans of the expectant mother and set her body up for bearing a child.

The work of the neocortex, the part of the brain that is responsible for rational thinking, becomes less active during pregnancy. A woman in the first trimester of pregnancy may experience lethargy, drowsiness, she often wants to relax, be passive. Nature gives a woman the opportunity to adapt to the serious changes that begin to occur in her body.

In the early stages (first trimester), there are a lot of risks to which the child is exposed - the female body is still attuned to motherhood, and the development of the fetus is already in full swing. The development of the baby's nervous system continues throughout pregnancy (including in the second and third trimesters), although already at the 12th week its physiological foundations have been formed.

Mom is like a window to the world

During the prenatal period, the relationship of the child with the mother is laid, and through her - with the world. A woman's acceptance of her pregnancy for a child means that he is needed, that he is supported, loved, and expected. This is for a person the experience of unconditional acceptance and unconditional love that a child receives before birth. It is she who gives him the strength to go through the difficult trials that await him in childbirth. He has something to fight for, he has someone to come to in his birth.

A woman who rejects, denies her pregnancy, sends a different message: “I don't need you. The world rejects you. You're lonely". Such a mother does not allow the child to feel her love.

At the physiological level, an anxious, angry or fearful pregnant woman does not bring a sufficient feeling of love and security to the baby. Such children, and later adults, often in life experience a feeling of lack of love and attention, they have no trust in the world they came to, no desire to establish emotional ties, there is a fear of intimacy. They often limit themselves to strict limits.

A Guide to Dual Action Hormones

In a situation of anxiety or fear, the human body begins to actively produce adrenaline. A child whose mother is under stress is also stressed. The state of anxiety can also be mixed with a state of physical, tactile discomfort, because when a mother is worried, this can cause uterine tone - a state of tension, spasm of the muscles of the uterus. The baby begins to feel hard pressure, compression, which can increase his anxiety.

It is considered the hormone of joy, happiness and love. It makes it easier to endure pain during labor pains. It is noticed that mothers with a high level of oxytocin in the blood are more open to children, more tender and caring. The production of oxytocin by the mother's body is the main condition for successful, easy childbirth, as well as the guarantor of a strong emotional attachment between mother and baby. In a situation where adrenaline is produced in the body, the production of oxytocin stops.

This is a hormone that is produced during prolonged anxiety and anxiety, depression. The hormone causes inhibition and depression of the nervous system, its increased concentration in the blood can lead to the development of depressive conditions. Cortisol is dangerous because it can negatively affect the physical condition of the child.

The 8 Most Common Pregnancy Experiences Affecting Your Baby

Wrong gender?

A particular manifestation of the rejection of pregnancy is the experience that a woman is expecting a child of the wrong sex. This is also a condition that can cause certain negative reactions on the part of the expectant mother in relation to the baby. Of course, the child will feel it.

It is important to understand and accept as a fact what the gender of the baby will be in order to raise the child later without distortions - do not decorate the boy with bows and do not take the girl to the boxing section. In general, all these are manifestations of a single message that comes from the mother - "I don't need you."

A woman who begins to love and unconditionally accept her baby even before birth, thereby forms his positive attitude towards the surrounding reality.

Family situation

Not only the woman adapts to pregnancy, but also her family members. Often for a married couple, the period of pregnancy is a period of restructuring of lifestyle and internal relationships. It is important for family members to understand that emotional manifestations, some changes in a woman's behavior, a change in her lifestyle are not the usual whims of a pregnant woman; they are associated with serious changes occurring in her body.

A woman in the family should learn to express her needs without fear or embarrassment. Do not forget that you are no longer just a wife, daughter or daughter-in-law, you are a woman carrying a child. And the physical health of your baby largely depends on your psychological state.

In addition, during pregnancy, relatives tend to become more attentive to the woman. It is important to surround yourself with care, attention, positive attitude of loved ones.

Discord with husband

Sometimes a woman may feel that she is left alone with her experiences and feelings during pregnancy. Her life has now changed a lot, but her relatives, her husband - not yet. There may be some tension, misunderstanding between the spouses. In the later stages of a woman, a feeling of fatigue may be mixed with these sensations. It is important not to gloss over your feelings. It is often difficult for a woman to understand the situation from the inside. She begins to walk in a circle of negative emotions "shame-guilt-fear".

In this case, it is important to find a person who will listen to her, support her, and reassure her. It can be a relative, a psychologist, and even a doctor of the antenatal clinic, if a confidential dialogue has been established with him. We need a person who would say: “Now the main thing is to accept the situation and understand how you can change it in such a way that it does not bring vivid negative experiences, because the baby develops against their background.”

Communication with doctors

“Regarding the birth of a child as a disease, the obstetrician makes his intervention inevitable,” the American pediatrician Robert Mendelsohn. Pregnancy is a normal physiological state of a woman.

Naturally, approaching pregnancy and future childbirth with all responsibility, a woman turns to obstetrician-gynecologists for help. How to make an informed choice? When should you consider changing your doctor? This is worth doing if the doctor looks at pregnancy as a disease, talks a lot and at length about complications, gives negative forecasts, requires strict adherence to rules and regulations, is rude, intimidates a woman.

If you feel that you have a feeling of fear before taking it, your physical condition worsens (pressure rises or uterine tone occurs), if you do not find mutual understanding with the doctor, look for another specialist for yourself.

And it is not necessary to go to a paid clinic. You have every right to change the doctor in the antenatal clinic if you don’t like the doctor who observes your pregnancy for some reason. You always have a choice.

Girlfriends

During pregnancy, you need to carefully consider the choice of social circle. Upon learning that a woman is pregnant, many relatives, friends, and acquaintances begin to take an interest in her condition, give advice, and recall cases from their own lives. Some may do a disservice if they have had a negative pregnancy experience. Expectant mothers are easily suggestible, psychologically more vulnerable and impressionable.

Stories about the negative experience of pregnancy or difficult, complicated childbirth can have a bad effect on the psychological state of the expectant mother, and she will begin to feel a sense of fear: “Oh, what if this happens to me too?” Similar communication it is better to limit and learn to filter information- it is not at all necessary that what happened to someone from your environment will certainly happen to you.

There is also no need to thoughtlessly read forums about childbirth on the Internet - women who have easily given birth usually write without details (“Hurrah, I gave birth! Thank you to all the doctors!”), And people who need to talk out, get rid of experiences describe the situation in detail. Such reading can undermine emotional stability, increase fear.

At the same time, positively-minded friends and relatives can provide support, especially if they themselves have successfully become mothers.

Fear of childbirth

Very useful for the expectant mother courses in preparation for childbirth. The course will teach you how to ease the pain of contractions with the help of various postures and proper breathing. The expectant mother will communicate with other pregnant women and will be able to receive support. This kind of communication sets women in a positive mood, reduces anxiety, fear of childbirth.

It is important for a pregnant woman to choose a doctor and a maternity hospital in advance, where she is going to give birth. It is better to get acquainted with the doctor in advance.

You can invite a doula with you for childbirth - a woman who is nearby during childbirth and helps the expectant mother, supports her at this difficult moment.

Unsuccessful experience

Some women experience constant anxiety due to bad previous experiences. It is possible that a woman has a history of a missed pregnancy or a previous pregnancy ended in fetal death, and the woman, becoming pregnant again, is worried that this may happen again.

The situation of loss is a very serious emotional state that requires some time, during which a person must burn and let go, console himself. It is important to learn to separate one experience from another.

It happens that a person, having gone through serious trials, does not live through them to the end, and experiences return again. It turns out that the previous situation was underexperienced, not accepted, the person seemed to “hang” in his experiences. Then you need the help of a specialist - a psychotherapist. It will help you accept and let go of the situation. This is important so that the next pregnancy is more stable from a physiological and psychological point of view. The main thing is to separate the previous pregnancy, the past and what is happening to you now, and understand that this baby is different, beloved, desired.

Fear of shape change

  • Often, the expectant mother, gaining weight, is afraid that she will not be able to lose weight after childbirth and regain her former shape, she is worried that she will no longer be attractive to her husband. But you need to understand that all these changes are temporary, that now the main thing is that your baby develops normally.

  • Women who do not leave physical activity during pregnancy return their original shape faster. Therefore, if health permits, do yoga, fitness for pregnant women. swimming(Read more about this in our article "Sports during pregnancy").
  • After giving birth and finishing breastfeeding, you can take matters into your own hands: you can go on a diet, find something to your liking - sign up for a fitness club or a dance club, go to the pool, go to the bathhouse or sauna .
  • Young mothers should definitely try to find at least some free time for themselves.
  • Photo: Shutterstock

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  • The connection between a child and a loving mother lasts a lifetime, and in the first months it is especially strong.. No wonder some experts call the first three months of a baby's life the fourth trimester of pregnancy, so mother and child are inseparable , only now it's not so much physical as emotional connection . And here some difficulties can arise.

    Imagine that you got a new job in a foreign city, in a completely unfamiliar team and master a new direction of activity. You are still poorly versed in the work process, you have no friends here, and you hardly understand how to behave with others. Did you feel the depth of the problem? A young mother with a baby in her arms feels about the same in the first months after childbirth.

    The woman who tried on herself mother role for the first time , still quite no experience in child care , and if the baby often screams, cries, sleeps poorly at night, gets sick or suckles for a long time, she has a feeling of concern and insecurity. "Am I doing everything right?" is a common question for young parents who are sometimes in a panic about their new role.

    And at first there will be a lot of such questions, because in modern society there are no longer unambiguous foundations of the past: you can either put a baby on knitted suits, you can feed the child, or set a regimen for him, you can constantly carry the baby with you on the handles or with the help of a sling, and can be left in a crib or stroller. These and many other important issues, for example, such as, and young parents have to solve daily, relying on the sometimes completely opposite opinions of pediatricians, the various experiences of relatives, friends, acquaintances, friends, profile visitors.

    Confusion, fatigue, anxiety and fear of the unknown - all these emotions are experienced by a young mother in the first months after childbirth. Due to the fact that her emotional connection with the child is very close, all these feelings begin to experience and the baby becoming increasingly nervous and irritated. The result is vicious circle - the mother cannot relax and rest, because the child is constantly crying, and the baby is crying, because it "reads" the emotional concern of the mother.

    The conclusion suggests itself. Do you want your baby to be calm and cheerful, cry as little as possible and sleep well? In this case, right from today we begin to put our nervous system in order, learn to be calm and tune in to perceive everything positively . After all, if the mother feels comfortable and confident, then the child is given a sense of calm and security.

    We offer you some simple tips on how to improve your emotional state for a young mother:

    Get more rest

    It is necessary that at first the young mother has enough time to rest and sleep. The baby fell asleep - sleep with him, do not deny yourself relaxation. The more calm and rested the young mother is, the more milk she will have and the calmer and happier your baby will be. In addition, the body needs to recover after childbirth and rebuild to a new system of life.

    sing along

    No matter how funny it may sound, singing is an excellent breathing exercise that improves the functioning of the cardiovascular and nervous system of a young mother, reduces fatigue, excitability, relieves internal clamps and relaxes. Sing lullabies to your newborn baby, sing along to your favorite hits that sound on the radio, sing in the shower, under running water - all this will give you great relaxation and a wonderful mood.

    Enjoy the little things

    Of course, in the first weeks after childbirth, a young mother just has her head spinning from worries and troubles. You are just learning your new role and you do not feel completely comfortable in it. To get a little distraction from the constant fuss around feeding and changing diapers, do not forget to enjoy the little things. The baby smiled at you - smile back at him, it’s a good sunny day outside the window - it means that today you and the baby will be in a good mood, the weather didn’t work out - it doesn’t matter either, dynamic music, a bright blouse and a new rattle for the baby will make your day positive and unforgettable. During a walk, do you only pay attention to how cold or hot your baby is and try to remember what you need to buy at the store? Take a look around and find something simple and cute around you that can lift your spirits. Perhaps you have not noticed for a long time that a gorgeous fluffy cat lives in the neighboring yard, and leaves are about to blossom on the trees: smile at the world around you and your mood will definitely improve.

    Believe yourself

    For a while, stop reading various literature or the Internet, stop looking for answers to your questions and listen to your intuition. Mother's intuition is a great thing and it is rarely wrong. Believe in yourself, do as you want, and not as they write in the right books. Each child is different, and it is you who most often knows (or even subconsciously feels) exactly what is good for your baby, and not the doctor who consults on the Internet, your mother or girlfriend. If you do what you believe in - you become more confident and calm, and this is exactly what we want to achieve.

    Our mother- Helga tells : “After giving birth, a stream of advice and teachings simply poured out on me: how to bathe a child, how to swaddle, how to feed and everything else. My mother and mother-in-law, friends who have children, as well as girls with whom we walked together in the park - all tried to teach me how to properly care for a child. Despite the fact that I absolutely did not ask them about this, perhaps others were embarrassed that I was only 19 years old. Sometimes, from completely different opinions and advice, I just “got crazy”. And when I already began to doubt whether I was putting the baby to the breast correctly, although I had never had such problems before, I thought, no, stop, that's enough. I won't listen to anyone else! Whatever I decide, I will do. The only person I trusted was listening to our pediatrician and that's it. And you know, it became much easier for me, I became much calmer when I began to trust myself and my feelings more.

    lower the bar

    Nothing terrible will happen if you do not wash the floor in the apartment every day or be sure to walk with your child for 3 hours a day. Let the house not be crystal clear, and the husband himself goes to the store and cooks dinner for himself and for you, as best he can, this is not the most important thing now. Don't have time or energy for something? It's okay, do what you can and do what you can, now is not the time for records, don't blame yourself for anything. Indeed, if a young mother is very tired, and for a body weakened after childbirth, a lot is not needed, she may have problems with lactation.

    Chat

    Of course, for a young mother with on-demand feeding, the advice to “go out to a cafe with girlfriends” may sound somewhat unrealistic, but if everything is calculated correctly, then while your husband is walking in the park with a stroller, you can chat with a girlfriend for at least an hour in the nearest institution or just go shopping. Do not close yourself in your new world with your head, motherhood is not a monastery. Of course, some restrictions and changes in your new life with a baby will definitely arise, but it is absolutely not worth it to completely abandon everything that you liked and was interested in before.

    All these, at first glance, simple tips will help a young mother recover, recover, calm down and relax, because we must not forget that your child’s health directly depends on your emotional stability and positive attitude.