How to invite a man on a date and not get rejected: a "smart" technique. Why does the ex-boyfriend want to date

What to do if an ex-boyfriend offers to meet? Agree to a date or immediately refuse? In order to correctly approach the solution of the problem, the girl should remember how the relationship developed, and is there any hope for their fruitfulness in the future?

Should a girl date an ex-boyfriend: 6 pros

It is best to put a piece of paper in front of you and try to formulate pros and cons. The undoubted "pros" include:

  • Despite the breakup, the girl still has tender feelings for the young man. Alas, there was no worthy replacement for the former gentleman. All other contenders were a cut below. Surely, thoughts have come to you more than once that the separation was a mistake and you can’t find a better partner. Moreover, the mere thought of him is breathtaking and “goosebumps” begin to run over the skin;
  • This guy is the only candidate. For some reason, it is not possible to arrange a personal life. Perhaps it will be possible to try on his shortcomings and build a really strong relationship. Who knows, a person could have realized his own mistakes during this time and is now sincerely trying to correct the situation, treating the ex-girlfriend with tender awe;
  • A person does not cause much excitement, but general acquaintances and the good attitude of his parents evoke pleasant memories. Maybe you should come to terms with the loss of an imaginary "prince", and renew contact with the former gentleman for the sake of creating a family? Knowing all its advantages and disadvantages, you can build a reliable relationship in which there will be no scandals guaranteed, since the partners have already perfectly studied each other;
  • Mercantile interest should not be excluded either. If during the breakup with a guy he managed to succeed, the desire to increase his status can be overwhelming. For many girls, this factor is decisive. Especially if it was the girl who initiated the breakup, in particular, due to the lack of funds from her lover;
  • The girl is well aware of the guy's shortcomings, but she is sure that now she can correct most of them. After all, past relationships made her an "expert" in the psychology of this particular individual, and it will be much easier to re-educate him. Skillfully correcting the behavior of a young man and gradually changing his habits, you can bring up a model that is almost ideally suited for living together;
  • Just at the moment there is not enough friendly shoulder. The young man offers to meet, why not go on a date? It is still unknown, maybe it does not imply further development, but just the guy also needs to find a person to whom he can open his soul? It is much easier to do this in the company of someone who is well aware of the problems and shortcomings of the former half.

You can meet with an ex-boyfriend just to maintain friendly relations. If not everything worked out in a joint life, it does not mean that people should completely stop communicating. Perhaps they did not make ideal lovers, but real friends can turn out.

Is it worth dating: 6 "against"

What can adversely affect the decision to meet with a former gentleman? There are 6 reasons:


  • Memories do not make a positive impression. To a greater extent, the girl experienced negative emotions from these relationships. Is it worth repeating past mistakes, hoping that this time everything will go differently? As the old saying goes, the hunchbacked grave will fix it. If earlier it was not possible to influence his habits and manners, where is the guarantee that it will turn out now?
  • Often, relationships in a couple go to “no” due to the intervention of relatives. If earlier the parents of a young man did not show delight at the sight of his chosen one, one should not hope that over time their positions have undergone drastic changes. In this case, the resumption of relations will lead to a new round of negativity and, most likely, will quickly fade away again. You should not expect decisiveness from a person who once did not justify trust.
  • The relationship developed perfectly until the girl found out that the now ex-boyfriend was dating her girlfriend. To forgive the fact of betrayal is quite difficult, even if it happened several years ago. The young man claims that he fully realized his mistake? Of course, you can believe sweet speeches, but the heavy sediment will not go anywhere. In addition, the girl will begin to be suspicious of all her acquaintances, subconsciously expecting the gentleman to start a new romance with a friend.
  • The girl wants to continue the meetings, but she really realizes that she cannot correct the shortcomings of the young man, nor can she put up with them. Therefore, an attempt to renew the relationship will lead to a waste of time.
  • If an ex-boyfriend wants to meet, this does not mean at all that he considers the situation as a new round in a relationship. It is possible that he simply has no one to spend this evening with. Of all the suitable candidates, for some reason, an old attachment came to mind.
  • Such a situation is not excluded - at the moment the girl began to meet with a friend of her ex-boyfriend. Upon learning of this, the vengeful young man decided to destroy the couple. Perhaps he has such a harmful character, or he is an owner by nature and believes that the passion with which he has already parted should still not “go to” a friend. Or maybe just afraid of parting with a friend?

We make a decision

Once upon a time, Roman philosophers argued that it was impossible to enter the same river twice. This statement is quite applicable to a similar life situation. You can’t start dating a former boyfriend again, as if there had never been disagreements and parting. But on the other hand, life flowed like water and could lead to some changes in a person. Maybe take a second chance?


Each girl must answer this question on her own. The advice of friends in this case will not help, because they are not familiar with all the vicissitudes of a seemingly completed novel. If a girl meets with an ex, then there is hope for a fruitful relationship.

You can remember or imagine an incredible variety of situations in which you and the guy appear. For example, if a man offered to meet - what to answer him? To begin with, let's figure out what kind of man it is - it's your good friend, your friend, your ex-boyfriend or a person you don't know at all and whether you want to agree to his proposal. And it’s also worth figuring out with what background you are invited - friendly or romantic. If a man offered to meet - what to answer him, to go or not - there is no definite answer, it largely depends on who exactly invited you?

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Photo gallery: If a man offered to meet, what should I answer?

So, if a man offered to meet: what to answer, do you think?

Suppose this guy is your friend and if you:

a) If you want to agree, then imagine that you are invited by a classmate, classmate or work colleague. How would you answer? She would probably smile and say, “Yes, of course. Where and what time? . In this case, the conversation will certainly be non-binding, unless your relationship develops into a warmer, more friendly one.

b) If a man offered to meet, and you want to refuse - formulate your refusal as politely as possible so as not to offend the person. Smile and say, “I would love to, but I can’t. Maybe next time?". If the man persistently continues to invite you and tries to find out the exact date of your upcoming meeting, but you do not intend to meet with this subject in principle, answer with the classic phrase: “As soon as there is time, I will let you know.”

If you were invited to meet a familiar man in a romantic setting, and you:

a) If you want to agree, flirt with him a little, say in a languid voice: “Yes, I would be very pleased to have dinner with you”, build eyes on him, in short, interest him and make him look forward to meeting you with great impatience. Flirting is not a crime, and when you meet you will be able to decide whether further relations with this man are possible.

b) If you want to refuse, immediately make it clear that you don’t want any romance between you. Say: “You know, we probably won’t succeed, forgive me. You are a good person, but I can only offer you friendship, nothing more.”

If an ex-boyfriend invited you to meet and have a friendly chat, and you:

a) If you want to agree, then you should not remind him of your past relationship. Treat him like a really good friend, he knows so much about you and you have a lot in common. In this situation, you better answer what you think. You need to understand yourself, to understand whether you are ready for reconciliation. After all, an ex-boyfriend is a walking stress for you, because for us girls, any breakup is hard. In addition, you need to be sure that your ex really wants to be friends. Do not rush to answer, but try to find out what he really wants. After all, you probably have mutual friends who will provide you with all the necessary information.

b) If you want to refuse, answer him that you can’t be friends, so it’s better to stay just acquaintances, say that you don’t hide evil at him, but you already have enough friends, and you have good memories associated with him, which belong to past, not in the present.

If an ex-boyfriend invites you to a romantic date, and you:

a) If you want to agree - (you think that the relationship can be returned), then make sure that he seeks you, show him that during the time you were in the gap, your life returned to normal, and that you could not stand the break with him for the second time. If he really wants you back, he will do everything to make you believe him.

b) If you want to refuse - tell him that you respect him and are grateful for all the good things that you had, but your life flows on and you want to build relationships with other people. Invite him to remain friends, but no more.

If a stranger invites you to a friendly meeting, and you:

a) If you think to agree, then first look at the stranger. Women's intuition often tells us who can be trusted and who cannot. If the sixth sense tells you that everything is in order, then get to know him and set the place and time of the meeting yourself.

b) If you think to refuse, then simply refuse. Without any hints, flirting and the like. Say, "No thanks." If a person wanted friendly communication and nothing more, he will understand everything.

If an unfamiliar young man invites you to a romantic meeting, and you:

a) Ready to agree - then first find out what his name is. Offer to arrange a two-on-two meeting - ask to come with a friend, and come with a friend yourself, choose the place and time of the meeting yourself. If something goes wrong, a girlfriend will help you out, and a meeting on your territory will give you confidence in case of an unforeseen situation. Alas, in our time it is scary to trust strangers.

b) Ready to refuse - say so directly. Lie that you have a young man, if there is none. Don't give out your phone number or imply anything. If the person doesn't understand, just leave.

If you were offered a meeting in a romantic setting by your young man, and you:

a) Naturally, if you want to agree - thank him for the invitation, and find out where you are going, and if this is a surprise, then find out at least the dress code, otherwise he will lead you to a restaurant, and you are in a T-shirt and torn jeans, even if design.

b) You can’t go, but you are afraid to offend - kiss him, say some nice things, how you love him, apologize and ask to reschedule the meeting. The main thing is not to lie to him, because you probably have a good reason because of which you cannot go on a date exactly when he wants. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship.

But you yourself must understand that these are just some of the situations that can happen to you, and they need to be taken into account when thinking about: if a man offered to meet, what to answer? Trust, above all, your mind, don't do what you don't want to, don't date anyone you don't want to, and don't trust anyone if you don't want to. If you are offered to meet, then only you yourself have the right to decide. Think about whether you want to communicate with a particular person as a friend, or you are interested in him only with a hint of a relationship, and whether you want to communicate with him at all. Remember that we create our own environment. Good luck!

If an ex-boyfriend asks you out again, it can put you in an awkward position. Perhaps you thought that everything was over and were happy about it, or, conversely, you missed him. Remember, no matter how you feel or felt for him, it was likely that he had a hard time asking you out again, since you already have a common history. The most important thing to remember is: do what you think is right for you, while at the same time, if possible, remain a good person.

Steps

Determine what you want

  1. Think about your feelings. In matters of the heart, it is important to rely on your intuition, especially when it comes to whether or not to give someone a second chance. Consider how you feel about the situation and this person. Before taking any further steps, decide on your feelings for him.

    • If on a subconscious level this situation causes you anxiety or anxiety, take it seriously. Dealing with rekindled feelings can be difficult, so don't make hasty decisions if your heart tells you to be careful.
    • Sometimes it's hard to pinpoint your feelings right away, without thinking. Go to a quiet place and try to understand what your subconscious mind is telling you about dating your ex. What does your intuition tell you? What do you feel: joy, sadness, tension, nervousness, enthusiasm or elation? Try not to doubt this instinct. If it's positive, maybe the guy deserves a second chance. If negative, you should politely refuse his offer and move on.
  2. Review previous relationships. Take time to think about what happened between the two of you in the past. Why did you break up? What do you feel for him now? How did you treat yourself when you were together? There are a million reasons why people break up. Think about why you broke up and decide how you feel about it.

    • The most important thing in this situation is to take a realistic look at what really happened between you and think about your attitude to this issue.
  3. Determine if the same obstacles still exist. Every breakup has a root cause. Think about why you broke up and decide if things have changed. Have circumstances changed enough for your relationship to be successful this time around?

    • Perhaps you broke up because you did not have enough time for each other, but now your work situation has changed, and now everything will work out. Or you broke up because he cheated on you, in which case you need to decide if you can forget it and start trusting him again.
  4. Think about your future. It is important to think about the present, but you will also need to decide what you want from life in the future and think about whether you see this person in the picture that you have created for your life. You need to make a decision that is best for you, and not just him. Therefore, think carefully about what you want from life, and whether you see in it the very person who will be there while you turn your plans into reality.

    • Can you imagine him in your life forever? Are you going to move to another city to study there? Will he accept it? These are the questions you should ask yourself.

    Tell him about your decision

    1. Be honest with him about your feelings. This is true whether you want to get back together or not. Make sure you both understand what happened and why. Take your time and don't make hasty decisions.

      • Make sure you're somewhere quiet where people won't overhear you and where both of you won't get nervous or embarrassed.
    2. Explain that the first time you broke up for a reason. It is very important to forgive and move on if you have a relationship issue. However, if the problem of those times has not been resolved, perhaps you are not suitable for each other as a couple.

      • If you're still upset about what happened between you and not ready to consider getting back together, be clear about the reason for the last breakup and express your concerns about the same situation happening again.
    3. Discuss expectations for the future. If you've forgiven your ex and decided to move forward with the relationship, it's important to voice your expectations. Otherwise, you risk stepping on the same rake again.

      • Talk about what you hope to change this time around and clarify your feelings.

    Make up your mind

    1. Accept the offer if you want to date him again. In this case, remember that you need to let go of the past and focus on the future together. You may both want your relationship to develop less rapidly than the first time.

      • If you've agreed, make sure he understands your intentions, especially if you're really giving the relationship a second chance. It is important to be as honest as possible, as he is likely to be sure that he knows about your feelings, especially towards him. Honesty is the key to any successful relationship.
    • If he was the one who initiated the breakup and realized he's lost, try being "hard to touch" a bit to see if you want him back. Otherwise, it may seem to him that you are under his control and he can get you when he wants, without putting any effort into it. Therefore, you do not need to agree immediately.
    • Just because you said "no" doesn't mean you can't be friends.

    Warnings

    • Remember, if he dumped you and you spent many days crying over it, think about how you felt and understand that it could happen again, even if you like him.
    • Just because you both still have feelings for each other doesn't always mean things will work out. Try again if you think it's right for you, but if you do, don't expect instant results. Be prepared that you will have to work on the relationship and keep in mind that everything can fall apart and burn down again.

Communicating and meeting with departed people usually cause us a lot of suffering. But it happens that you dream of this meeting and your ex-lover would also like to see you. You already imagine in advance how much you will worry, how you will catch your breath when you just see it. And it is difficult for you to pull yourself together, you panic in advance, you have no idea what you will talk about, what to do, how to behave. In many ways, your behavior is determined to be the purpose of this date.

If you intend to return the former chosen one, then this is one situation, but if the former simply insists on a date because he wants to explain himself, and at the same time you are not going to build a relationship with him again, then this is a different situation. Consider the first option, you intend to return the man.

Of great importance is who proposed the meeting. The situation when you became the initiator of the meeting, and the beloved only kindly gave you such an opportunity is one thing. But if he himself made a date for you, you will act wisely if you reschedule this date. I dare to assume that your actions on the return of the man were correct, which is why he began to show interest in you.

Then we can say that you have come to a very important stage in the return of a man. And many women are so happy that the former began to reappear in their lives that they happily agree to a date, begin to tell him about their love. And what does all this lead to? The result is sad. A man sees that you are ready for anything for him, you forgive any of his sins, you wait and hope to return.

Before you continue reading, we advise you to watch the following video:

In most cases, a man simply satisfies his curiosity, pride. He doesn't need to bring you back yet. He decided to ask you out on a date for the sole purpose of proving to himself that you are still in love and waiting for his return.

There is another situation when a man does not mind returning to you, but he, having seen how quickly you agreed to be together, will not appreciate you properly. At the first opportunity, a man will again become interested in other women. And he has no obstacles for this. If something doesn't work out in a new relationship, he knows full well that he can come back to you. And do not give a man a reason to think so.

You should not easily agree to a relationship again, let him make at least some effort to get you back, especially if he was to blame. During your date, you should be calm, indifferent and friendly. Try to divert the conversation from the topic of your relationship, quarrels, breakups and everything that you had to endure.

You should not show a man how you suffered without him, tell us about your busy life, share news about mutual acquaintances and friends. Do not show your resentment and disappointment. Suffering women are not able to attract any man in the world. Men are so arranged, they want lightness, simplicity in relationships, fun, playfulness from a woman, but not drama. When a man realizes that you are suffering because of him. He begins to blame himself, he can tell you that he is not worthy of you.

He does not want to strain, guessing your mood, to make efforts to drive away your depression. There are many women around who are cheerful, cheerful, such women are pleasing to the eye, they charge with positive, it is incredibly easy to work with them. And it is to such women that all men are drawn. Take note of this.

A former young man or ex-husband who appeared in a dream symbolizes your excessive passion for the past.

This is what keeps you from moving forward, from developing as a person; former love does not want to give way to real love a place in your heart.

The dream in which you parted with this person suggests that the time has come for a change of priorities, the collapse of former ideals.

After this internal audit, things will go much better for you, and in all areas of life.

Interpretation of dreams from Dream Interpretation Longo

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Dream Interpretation - Young man, guy

His vision indicates an energetic and strong enemy.

If the young man is blond, then the enemy is open, if he is dark-haired, then he is rich, if he is red-haired, then your enemy is an impolite, rude and uncouth person. To follow a young man in a dream means to be defeated by your enemy.

To dream about how a young man turns into an old man - to become educated and wise in life.

Interpretation of dreams from