Can a person live happily all his life alone? How a woman can learn to live alone
Many people have periods of loneliness. For some, they do not last long, for others they drag on for a longer time. And this episode in your life must be lived in peace, learning to be happy. How? let's consider.
Learning to live for ourselves
If you don't have a half right now, don't be discouraged. Make the most of this. Become a self-sufficient person who can easily find positive moments in the current situation.
Dedicate moments of loneliness to yourself. Start taking care of yourself. Pay attention to yourself. Sign up for a fitness club, walk along the beautiful streets of your city.
Enjoy life. Give yourself gifts. Travel. For example, when I was lonely, I devoted this stage of my life to getting pleasant impressions from tourism and travel. There is nothing more beautiful than driving through cities and countries and photographing the sights and landscapes of the beautiful places of our abundant universe. If you do not have enough funds for long and distant trips, walk around your city and region. This is fine too.
Take care of your personal growth and education. Take the courses you've dreamed of for a long time. Attend spiritual development training. Generally, if you start to develop spiritually, you will not feel lonely. You will learn to be truly happy because you will understand that happiness is within you.
Or maybe at one of these courses, you will even meet your love! It often happens in life. A person lets go of loneliness, begins to live a full life and everything changes. He finds the right people for friendship and love in a random and wonderful way.
Letting go of grudges
In order to be happy alone, you need to let go of your ex. Forgive them. Bless with love. Only if you let go of the bad will you make room for the new and the beautiful!
“I surrender all my former partners to God. I forgive them and let them go. I wish them all the most beautiful "
Look forward to meeting your loved one
In no case do not suffer from the fact that you are alone, but believe that this is a temporary phenomenon and soon you will definitely find your soul mate, of course, if you want it.
“I am grateful to God that now in my life there is a loving relationship with the person I need. I'm happy".
Also, use your imagination. Imagine, for example, looking at the wedding ring on your hand. Or how your parents congratulate you on a successful marriage.
To be happy alone, you need to let go of this loneliness and change your attitude towards it. And to know that this is a temporary phenomenon, which is given to you in order for you to learn to be self-sufficient and happy!
A source -
Liana Gergely
Director of Branded Content at W Magazine.
I go to the cinema alone. I visit museums alone. Eating dinner alone (and yes, I gave up the temptation to scroll through Instagram while waiting for my order). I sit alone in a coffee shop and leaf through a magazine. One I take a train ticket and go to a new city, where I walk all alone.
I understand that this may seem very strange. You probably think that I am a cute freak and very lonely. It's funny, but I was a lot more lonely before I started spending time on my own. The constant feeling that I am not at ease, and the feeling that I need people around me like air - that was loneliness. The feeling of constant anxiety and the fear that the guy will leave me - this is loneliness. And spending time alone is peace of mind. It is interesting. And it boosts. And now I will tell you how I learned to spend time alone.
1. Just do it. And don't try to look cool
Everyone is tired of the Nike cliché, but still Just do it. Since this all started. How embarrassing it was for the first time to go to the cinema alone and sit there with a backpack in the next chair, pretending in front of other cinema visitors that the guy had left for drinks and was about to return. This feeling will pass, as will the fear of people who supposedly think something about why you are spending time alone.
Don't try to be cool in the eyes of others. Most likely, you will never meet these strangers again in your life, and they will discuss the film, not you.
2. Make your list of favorite things. And don't wait for anyone
I realized that I should be alone when things appeared that I would like to do, but friends who could keep me company were always busy or had other plans.
If your favorite band is going to play the only show in town and none of your friends can go, don't waste the opportunity to make your dream come true. You can eternally wait for others to be free, and eventually realize that the moment is missed. Plus, scheduling something for yourself doesn't require exchanging a bunch of messages and stupid ones.
So take a piece of paper and write down every thing you love and what you would like to do but never did because there was no one around. Now this excuse is not accepted.
3. Make a schedule. Don't cancel plans
Once a week I include in my schedule an evening that I will spend alone. This means that I will go to the movies alone or wallow in my pajamas and watch Sex and the City. The line in the schedule serves as a written confirmation that I should please myself, and will help not to change my plans if something unexpected happens. I do not want to refuse friends, but now I am learning to be a friend to myself.
It’s a great relief - one evening devoted exclusively to yourself, when you don’t have to worry about whether all your friends have the same plans, when you don’t need to leave the house, if you want to lie on the couch. I spend time with myself and do what I do. No stress. No complicated decisions. It's easy and feasible. And most importantly, this is a chance to become honest with myself: to decide what I really want and what is easier said than done.
In the past year, I became lonely of my own accord. Not because of the circumstances. Not because no one wanted to communicate with me or I could not find a suitable companion.
Many people find it hard to believe that I refuse to date. And often I look weird in the eyes of my grumpy old aunt or college friends.
Why do some people choose to be lonely of their own accord? To spend time alone? Am I losing an important part of my life if I don't meet on Tinder and don't go on dates? What if the only one walked by, and I didn't notice because I was too busy with myself?
I'm not ashamed of my loneliness to proclaim out loud that dating myself was the most stable, relaxed, relaxing relationship imaginable. There is no need to wait for a response to a message (or agonize, thinking if my message was too flirtatious, too demanding, too wordy), and I never even thought that another person might misunderstand me.
This does not mean that I am not going to meet other people in the future - I definitely will. But now I know for sure that the relationship that I managed to build with myself is the relationship that I would like with another person. I am kind, patient, affectionate. I laugh at my mistakes and forgive myself for my wrongdoing. With such a person, I would like to be near and, I hope, I will.
This is a strategic mistake made by single women. I will write a whole post in more detail, maybe not even one. It's a very sore subject. You know, nothing needs to be checked, all this is a lie, that you need to get used to, get to know each other. Nonsense! If you meet a person for at least a year, you can also learn everything about him. A man lives with one woman for 13 years and cannot decide whether she is his or not, and then he meets another and leads to the registry office in a couple of months. Have you ever heard such stories?
- Error number seven - sex... A real woman appreciates herself and does not exchange.
Don't think that sex is the only thing you can give a man. And for the fact that he is with you, you must pay with your body. Like, what else do I have? You don't owe anyone anything. If you develop feminine qualities in yourself, begin to appreciate yourself, then sex before marriage is the last thing that you will give your man. Not the first and not the second, that's for sure!
Sometimes we wait for our man for a long time, meet with one, with a third, sometimes this relationship is very short-lived. And the connection can never be washed off and deleted! Our uterus stores this information for a long time. Instead of regretting it, it's best not to.
This is especially true for young girls 18-22 years old. Only an adult and mature woman can draw conclusions from a failed relationship, if there are any. And young women can only make mistakes and no conclusions.
All this is nonsense about experienced women. It's like men need experienced women. An experienced prostitute can be. Her work is her experience. And a man needs a sensual woman who can relax and trust a man. And this does not come with experience and over the years. Sexuality cannot be developed; it can be revealed following femininity. And for this you don't need to have a variety of partners.
In my opinion, these are the main mistakes that single women make. It is very important and interesting for me to know your opinion! Leave comments.
Tatiana Dzutseva
In contact with
Male loneliness has long ceased to be a unique phenomenon. Formally, every sixth man is single, and every fifth man is actually single. The stereotype that a bachelor looks like an unshaven, tastelessly dressed and constantly hungry man is a relic of the past. The modern lonely representative of the stronger sex is most often well dressed, fit and perfectly shaven.
He cooks wonderfully, can easily iron trousers or a shirt, he always has perfect order in his apartment. From the material point of view, a loner does not experience problems. But, it should be noted that all this applies only to men who do not abuse alcohol.
However, the psycho-emotional state, due to loneliness, especially in men, if they are over 40, is quite deplorable. Of course, exceptions to the rules are possible, but according to statistics, single individuals live 5-10 years less than family people.
The first step is embracing loneliness
First of all, before getting rid of loneliness, considering ways to deal with it, you need a clear understanding of the fact that you are still lonely. Many people, even on their own, cannot admit this. You should seriously think about the situation around you, and really assess the state of affairs. So, after the phase of realizing your loneliness, you need to do the following:
- After realizing the abandonment, express your feelings about this, in actions or deeds. It will be great if you keep a journal in which you reflect your thoughts with the utmost sincerity.
- If you are a creative person, take up writing music, playing musical instruments, or painting. The meaning of these actions is to convey the essence of loneliness in full, and through creativity, all negativity could find a way out.
- You should feel, and forever understand the difference between loneliness and solitude. In the first case, the man suffers from abandonment, she brings him pain, he is very worried about this. For a man, if he has experienced a breakup, it is difficult, without communication with an individual person, he may need a familiar way of life, in a large company, etc. In the second case, a person receives pleasure from the silence surrounding him, and from the inner state when he is alone with his own "I".
Loneliness should not be confused with the state if a man lives, for any reason, isolated from society, while not losing the desire for communication.
How to overcome loneliness for a man?
After you have effectively worked on accepting abandonment, you need to start a full-scale fight against this condition.
Enjoy your privacy
As mentioned earlier, solitude is fundamentally different from loneliness. Therefore, try to enjoy time alone with your "I".
When solitude begins to bore you, do not become obsessive with the people who are shipping you. To overcome this unpleasant state of thirst for communication, walking and cycling, with headphones in your ears, in which your favorite music is played, will help. Well removes psychological stress, swimming in a pool or open water.
In solitude, you should not limit yourself to a certain framework. Learn to get along with yourself, stop being dependent on society, feel free.
It is very good if you get carried away with reading. Books should be chosen in such a way that they are, for example, trilogies, or higher. Read books one by one, and this will not only increase your erudition, but also enjoy your time.
Also, men should not forget about such a physiological need as sex. Regular exercises with it are the prevention of various male diseases that can occur as a result of stagnation in the pelvic organs. For example, abstinence can provoke the development of prostatitis or vesiculitis, as well as the development of cysts in these organs.
If, due to loneliness, full-fledged sex is almost impossible, then men are advised to do "relaxation" on their own, at least 2-3 times a week, in order to maintain normal men's health.
Get a pet
It is quite difficult for a man, like a woman, to live alone, so the appearance of a four-legged pet in the house will have a positive effect on the situation. After all, pets are the best and most devoted friends. They are able to wait for the owner home for days, and when he returns, they are always sincerely happy. Get yourself a dog, and her love for you will bring new colors to your life.
But it should be understood that a pet is not a toy. You will have to look after him, take him out for walks, buy food for him, and vaccinate him. If additional employment is not a hindrance for you, then the problem of how to deal with loneliness will be solved by itself.
Get busy
When doing nothing, a person has a lot of time, as a result of which, he may have obsessive thoughts, leading to stiffness and self-doubt. At this moment, as luck would have it, there is no one to talk to, everyone is busy with something, and the individual begins to feel very lonely.
Sit back is highly discouraged if you are seriously dealing with the problem of how to get rid of loneliness. Try to keep your day busy. If you have a free minute, take a walk, go to the gym, redo your household chores, etc. If you find yourself a hobby, then it will also fill all your free time. At the same time, all obsessive thoughts that you were abandoned by everyone, which once led you to a depressed state, will appear less and less often, and soon, they will go away forever.
Having found something to your liking, develop in this direction. Attend various training events, meet new people with the same interests as yours. Some of them may become your friends in the future, the question of how to overcome loneliness will be resolved by itself.
Get serious about sports
It's no secret that a beautiful, toned body increases a man's self-esteem, and physical activity itself improves mood. Buy a gym membership and don't miss a workout. Visit stores that sell sports nutrition. A healthy lifestyle should be a priority for you.
Also, martial arts (karate, judo, kickboxing, aikido and others) are wonderful sports options for men. Regularly studying in sections, you will no doubt find people with similar interests, with whom it will not be boring to spend your free time.
If it is not possible to visit the sports sections, you can do morning jogging in the park, and in winter - skiing. Forget the elevator, get into the habit of walking up to your floor. If the distance to your place of work is not too great, be sure to walk to it.
For some men, due to their individual characteristics of the psyche, it is very difficult to cope with abandonment, and even more so, to independently decide how to overcome it. All their attempts to change the situation, for the better, lead to disappointment, and often - to prolonged depression. In this case, the help of a psychologist will be extremely important.
Do not "drown" in the social. networks
Remember, the internet can never replace live communication. You should not plunge headlong into the virtual world and thus isolate yourself from society, finding comfort in such communication. Apart from addiction, virtual friendship will not end well.
- Use social networks to communicate with friends, within reasonable limits, and only in order to make a real meeting in a cafe, cinema, or other place to relax.
- Join various interest groups, and also strive to meet people of interest to you.
- Before each new meeting, study well the information about the person you are going to meet. Do not drag out a meeting in the real world for a long time. Try to meet new people as quickly as possible. Otherwise, they may lose interest in you. Why date people you don't care about?
It is very important for a man to maintain a positive mood in any situation, especially if he communicates with people unfamiliar to him. Complaining about your hard life, or about your former half, is a sign of weakness and cowardice. Remember, showing weakness in any issue is unacceptable for a man.
Research shows that loneliness can be severely damaging to your health if it weighs on you. Problems with cardiovascular diseases, various depressive conditions are possible. The good news is that all of these processes are quite easily reversible, and strong relationships with family and close friends can reduce stress levels, improve immunity, and can even fill your life with meaning.
Loneliness is contagious
Like any other experience, joyful and uplifting or anxious and depressing. Susan Newman, Ph.D. in psychology, claims that when a person tells his loved ones about the feeling of loneliness, they begin to discover the same signs. According to a study published in the journal Social Psychology, the degree of spread of this feeling reaches three: that is, it goes along the chain you - your friend / your friend's / each other's your friend's.
Loneliness is like feeling hungry
And just as hunger signals that it's time for you to eat, loneliness signals that it's time for you to get some companionship.
You may feel lonely even if you have a large social circle.
Because the value is not the number of social connections, but their depth and trust. To paraphrase the saying “don't have a hundred rubles, but have a hundred friends”, it would be more correct to say “don't have a hundred friends, get by with four”.
Feelings of loneliness increase with age.
Since the closeness of relationships in our life is very often due to the similarity of interests and persists as long as the interests coincide. So, first you make friends at school, then at work, then young mothers become your loved ones.
As long as you have a social circle in which you are stewing on the same topic, you do not feel lonely. Over the course of life, and even more so with retirement, such circles become less and less.
Living alone: a consequence of the previous paragraph
As your interests diverge, your degree of intimacy will diminish. But this does not mean that every time you have to leave old friends and make situationally new ones. No, just keep in mind that the frequency of your contacts with colleagues in your former job will decrease, and with colleagues in your new job - to increase. And it is perfectly normal to meet with very old friends once every six months or a year, but at the same time continue to love and respect each other.
Loneliness is directly affected by job loss, divorce, and growing up.
Keeping this in mind can help you avoid depression by preparing in advance for these events.
Feelings of loneliness are reduced when working together with someone
When a person feels useful, he does not suffer from his experiences. Therefore, even if you have no friends, any collective work, including volunteering, will save you from suffering. At the same time, you get a chance to find people close to you in spirit who can become your friends.
Feelings of loneliness harm not only your state of mind, but also your physical one.
How do lonely people live? Can a person live life alone? Doctors note that the development of diseases in lonely people is comparable to the same diseases as in smokers or overweight people.
Loneliness shortens life
How to live a single childless woman? A five-year study of 300,000 elderly people around the world showed that single old people are 33% more likely to die in an equal period with old people in their families.
Since we are talking specifically about the depth of connections, and not about their number. This is how social loneliness arises.
But for want of a better thing, virtual friends are good too.
If only because it is still communication, and with a successful coincidence, you can find common ground in real life, especially if you live in the neighborhood.
Technology can bring you back in touch with your distant relatives
If you live thousands of kilometers from each other, then using Skype or other voice and video communication systems, you can communicate with each other at least every day.