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Wedding ceremonies and rituals. Magic ceremonies, signs and rituals for the wedding

Each ceremony associated with a wedding has long-standing roots. Rites and traditions have migrated from ancient times to the modern world in a slightly modified form. But, nevertheless, they remained, and many today consider their observance the key to a happy family life.

First of all, I would like to focus on such an ancient rite as matchmaking. The modern matchmaking ceremony is quite simple - the ancient wedding ceremonies associated with this moment have been somewhat simplified.

To date, the matchmaking scheme itself is limited by the fact that a potential future husband, having received consent from his chosen one, visits the bride's parents. At the same time, a bouquet presented to the future wife herself and her mother, her mother-in-law, is an obligatory attribute. For the most part, the bride's parents have known their potential son-in-law for more than one month and are by no means against his candidacy as a spouse for their daughter. In general, the matchmaking ritual is more formal in nature.

The same matchmaking ceremony takes place with the parents of the potential spouse of the bride-to-be. Father-in-law and father-in-law accept future father-in-law and mother-in-law, as well as potential daughter-in-law in their house. In general, after a joint feast, the matchmaking is considered complete, and the engagement procedure itself is complete.

Wedding traditions - meeting the newlyweds

Wedding traditions have been compiled for more than one decade, and one of the important moments in the wedding ceremony is the ceremony of meeting the young with a loaf and the blessing of the couple by their parents. At the same time, it should be said that wedding ceremonies, involving the very process of parental blessing, were a prerequisite for a full-fledged Orthodox marriage and were held before the wedding in the church.

The very meeting and receiving the parental blessing begins with the fact that the newlyweds pass through a kind of corridor created by the wedding guests from towels and stand in front of their parents. After bowing three times to their parents, a young couple solemnly receive their blessing and a wedding loaf. Having received a loaf from their parents, the newlyweds break it each from their side and, dipping it in salt, give each of their pieces to their spouse to eat.

Wedding traditions give a special place to the wedding cake, since no wedding can be performed without this decoration of the ceremony itself. It is the moment of joint cutting of the wedding cake - a huge confectionery construction of cream and biscuit that will remain in memory as one of the brightest and most colorful moments of the wedding.

The tradition of offering a wedding cake to newlyweds has its roots in ancient Rome. With all that 5 thousand years separate us from those times, this wedding ceremony has survived to this day. But it is worth saying that although the very concept of a cake at that time people did not know and did not use, in the ceremony itself at the wedding they used wedding bread baked in compliance with all traditions from barley or wheat.

According to the very ritual adopted at that time, the groom was obliged to break the wedding bread over the head of his chosen one and then give each guest a small piece of it, thus offering to share the joy with the groom. The crumbs themselves, which fell on the bride's head from the broken wedding bread, were collected by the groom and shared with his chosen one. This ritual acted as a kind of symbol of the future wife's submission to her husband.

In Russia, such a wedding cake was a traditional loaf. It is in this respect that our ancestors approached on a grand scale and with good knowledge of the matter, since the preparation of this wedding attribute required the efforts of several people.

It was our ancestors who knew that only married women were engaged in kneading the wedding loaf, and men were engaged in the process of baking in the oven. But the wedding loaf itself, decorated with branches and berries of viburnum, was cut by a child. Further, at the very wedding celebration, the chopped loaf was delivered to the guests exclusively by the matchmakers themselves. Moreover, this whole procedure of treating guests with a wedding loaf was accompanied by the singing of ritual songs. They were performed by "loafers". As a rule, the young people had the honor to be the first to touch the most finished loaf, and all this was done before the wedding in the church.

The wedding ritual of the bride's redemption

The very tradition of redemption of the bride as a wedding ceremony is quite ancient and old as the world. Today, many wedding ceremonies perceive the ritual of redemption of the bride as one of the elements of the wedding game, although our ancestors put into it a rather sacred meaning and their own special subtext. It was the ancestors, fearing blood mixing in the clan, who chose a bride from a different tribe and region for the groom.

Often, it could be obtained as a result of either a victory in hostilities or during long negotiations and reaching certain agreements, namely, the size of the price for the bride. To date, the very wedding ritual of redemption is not so detailed and, as a rule, the redemption itself is conditional in the form of a small gift to the bride's parents, but a kind of “offering” and redemption in money is also practiced.

Wedding ritual of covering the bride

In this rather beautiful wedding ritual, a special place and participation is given directly to the bride and mother-in-law. It was our ancestors who endowed this ritual with special magical features. In the very ritual of covering the future wife and mother, the mother-in-law herself removed the veil from the young woman and covered her head with a scarf. It was these actions that embodied the sacred meaning that a girl is already becoming a woman and a wife.

At this moment, the bride herself can, as if jokingly, throw off the scarf twice from herself, but for the third time the mother-in-law ties the scarf herself on the daughter-in-law's head. After that, all the unmarried girls present at the wedding lead a young round dance around, while the bride herself tries on her veil on each head, thereby wishing each of them to get married as soon as possible and find her family happiness.

Wedding ceremony of handing over the family hearth to the newlyweds

The whole essence of this ritual lies in the fact that it is the parents of the young who symbolically transfer the warmth from their family hearth to the new family. The ritual itself is carried out at the end of the wedding festivities, when the young themselves go to a new home and parents, both from the groom's side and from the bride's side, light a candle and at the same time light a common candle for the young with two candles, while saying wishes and instructions for the young family.

The ritual itself also provides for the direct participation of the wedding guests. They form a circle and also hold candles in their hands, thereby forming a kind of protective circle around the young. The lights in the hall are turned off and the newlyweds are in an impromptu protective circle with one common wax candle. At this time, each of the guests utters his short wish and after that raises the candle up and mentally repeats the wish said aloud and lowers the candle.

After all the guests have expressed their wishes, the parents of the young couple come up to the couple and pronounce their instructions and light the common candle of the new married couple with the flame from their candles. Having lit a candle and wishing the young all the best, the candles are not extinguished but placed on the tables, thus creating a romantic atmosphere during the wedding ceremony.

Wedding signs and rituals for a happy family life

I would like to once again dwell on certain signs and customs, the observance of which, according to the beliefs and convictions of many, can make the marriage itself strong and long. In particular, there are a lot of signs regarding the bride's attire. First of all, we are talking about the number of buttons on the bride's dress - it must be even, while young shoes must not contain laces and strings, and the underwear must be white.

Many people believe that the number of guests at a wedding should be odd - this will provide young people with a long and happy family life. After the wedding in the church, the bride had to hand out a trifle to everyone she met - this was what provided the young family with prosperity and financial well-being. But showering the couple with grain or sweets also promised prosperity and a sweet, prosperous life for the couple.

An equally interesting wedding sign is the fact that many young people put small coins in their glasses for prosperity and success. It is these coins that should be kept in the future under the tablecloth on the table in the house of the young. This ceremony was accompanied by the attraction of wealth and prosperity to the house.

Very little is known about the weddings of pagan Rus. According to the Russian historian N.M. Karamzin, the ancient Slavs usually bought wives for themselves and did not know the wedding ceremony as such. The bride was required only to prove her virgin integrity.

The status of a wife was equated to that of a slave: she was entrusted with all the care of the household and the upbringing of children. At the same time, the woman could neither complain about her husband, nor contradict him, expressing complete submission and obedience. After the death of her husband, a Slav woman usually burned herself at the stake along with his corpse. The living widow dishonored the whole family.

The chronicler Nestor left evidence that the customs and customs of the ancient Slavs differed from tribe to tribe. So, the meadows were distinguished by a meek and quiet disposition, they respected the sacred bonds of marriage, which was considered a sacred duty between spouses. In the families of the glades, peace and chastity prevailed. On the contrary, the Radimichi, Vyatichi, Northerners and especially the Drevlyans had a wild disposition, cruelty and unbridled passions. They did not know of marriages based on the mutual consent of parents and spouses. The Drevlyans simply took away or kidnapped the girls they liked. Among the Radimichi, Vyatichi and northerners, instead of weddings, there were "games between the villages" ("games between the fields"), during which men chose their brides and began to live with them without any rituals. Among other things, polygamy was widespread among the ancient Slavs.
Over time, the ritual life of the pagan Slavs became more complicated, overgrown with numerous beliefs and rituals, around which their everyday life was built.

The pantheon of Slavic gods was constantly expanding, including more and more original and borrowed deities.
The god of fun, love, harmony and all prosperity - Lado (Lada) - enjoyed special respect among young people.

During games and dances near the water dedicated to this deity, abduction of brides was common, which, as a rule, took place by prior agreement. The newlyweds brought sacrificial gifts to the god of love.
In addition to the voluntary abduction of brides, among the Slavs of the period of decomposition of the primitive communal system, such marriage rites as splashing water, driving around an oak tree, buying wives, etc.

Until the very beginning of our century, two sharply different parts were clearly traced in the Russian wedding rite: the church ceremony of "wedding" and the wedding itself, "fun" - a family rite rooted in the distant past. The hierarchs of the Orthodox Church in their epistles both in the 16th century and in the first half of the 17th century. continued to condemn all elements of the folk wedding rite as "magic", having nothing to do with the Christian religion, but apparently not only did not forbid, but even ordered the priests to take the nearest part in the non-church part of the rite.

The highest church hierarchs themselves occupied important places on the wedding train and at the banquet table. Even in the church, along with the rituals prescribed by the rules of Orthodox worship, actions were performed in the presence of clergymen that were not provided for by these rules. For example, a newlywed drank wine from a glass glass, which he then broke and trampled the fragments.

In the church, after the Orthodox ceremony, when the hands of the newlyweds were already joined over the altar, the bride fell at the groom's feet, touching his head to his shoes, and he covered her with the hollow of the caftan. The bride and groom left the church separately - each to his parents. Here they were showered with wheat, and the celebration seemed to begin anew: the bride feasted with her relatives, and the groom with his.

In the evening, the bride was brought to the house of the groom's father, but even there she did not take off her veils and did not talk with the groom during the entire wedding feast, which lasted three days. Only after three days did the young couple leave for their own home, where they had a common final feast.

In the rites of the Russian wedding, actions associated with pagan beliefs and the Christian religion were intricately intertwined. These include, for example, many actions that protect the wedding participants from hostile forces. These actions should contribute to the well-being of the spouses, childbearing, increasing prosperity in the household, and the offspring of livestock. Wishing to save the bride from the evil eye, they wrapped her in a fishing net, stuck needles without ears into her clothes so that the evil spirits got entangled in the nets and ran into the needles. In order to deceive the dark forces during matchmaking, they changed the path, drove by roundabout roads, replaced the bride, etc. They were protected from corruption and evil spirits by abstaining from uttering words and from eating. There were ceremonies that provided young people with many children and wealth. These included the shedding of young grain or hops, planting on a fur coat weathered upwards with fur. To strengthen the connection of the young people with each other, they mixed wines from the glasses of the young, shared food and drink, stretched threads from the bride's house to the groom's house, tied the hands of the bride and groom with a scarf.

The wedding ceremony took shape as an extensive dramatized action, including songs, crying, sentences and sayings, conspiracies, games and dances. In the form of oaths, the bride said goodbye to her home, her maiden headdress and maiden braid. As in any dramatic work, the wedding ceremony had its own permanent cast of characters - "ranks" who performed roles determined by tradition. The central figures were the bride and groom. The bride had to express her gratitude to her parents for the fact that they "gave her drink and nourished." And from the moment of matchmaking to leaving for church, the bride bitterly mourned her girlish life. The active participants in the wedding were the parents of the bride and groom, close relatives, godparents, as well as matchmakers, tysyatsky, the bride's brother, boyfriend, bridesmaids, etc.

Druzhka (druzhko) - the groom's representative - the main steward at the wedding, made sure that the custom was observed in the way the community understood it. He had to be able to joke and amuse the participants in the wedding. They chose a friend to help their friend, and an older boyar to help the tysyatsky. In the South Russian rite, the loafers were appointed who prepared the ritual loaf. Each character of the wedding was distinguished by his clothing or some additional ritual element of it. Usually these were towels, ribbons, scarves, wreaths.

On the days preceding the wedding and on the days of the wedding itself, the bride changed her clothes and headdress several times, which meant a change in her condition: a conspiracy, i.e. enamored, a young princess - before the crown, a young woman after the wedding and the wedding night. The groom was also called a young prince, and then just young. He did not change his clothes, but he had his own symbols - a flower or a bouquet on his headdress or on his chest, a scarf, a towel on his shoulders. On the wedding day, the bride and groom dressed smartly and, if possible, in everything new.

The theme of marriage was constantly present in the life of the younger generation. For example, the girl's entire premarital life was a preparation for marriage. Therefore, she was accustomed to the cares of the future mother and mistress. Literally from birth, the mother began to prepare her dowry. By the age of 16-17, the girl became a bride. An important point in the premarital rituals were the public "reviews" ("bride shows") of brides. They helped find a suitable bride, find out the economic situation of her family, learn about her behavior and character. Parents tried to find a "match". Bride shows were arranged in spring and summer festivities and on Christmastide, usually timed to coincide with patronal holidays, as well as Epiphany.

Usually, two weeks or a month after the show, the groom's mother, taking her sister or married daughter with her, went to woo the girl whom she chose at the public bride.

An important place in the premarital life of young people was occupied by girlish fortune-telling about marriage, the apogee of which fell on Christmastide. Having conceived to marry their son, the parents began to look for a bride for him, they found out who had a "marriageable girl". The son's desire was taken into account, but it was not always decisive, since the girl had to meet the requirement of her parents. Long-sleeved girls (usually at the age of 23-25) were considered "over-the-top", "old-fashioned" and the suitors avoided them, thinking that they were with a vice. The same mistrust and suspicion was aroused by young people who had sat up in single men (booby, overstuffed).
The first marriages were usually concluded in compliance with all the customs and ceremonies of the wedding ritual. Weddings of widows of men with girls who were not previously married were also celebrated. Marriages of widows and single men with widows were not accompanied by wedding ceremonies.

The time of weddings was determined by the agricultural calendar - usually weddings were played during periods free from agricultural work. The church calendar was of great importance, since in wedding posts "did not play". Most of the marriages took place in the fall, from the Intercession (October 1) to the Filipov Convent (November 14), as well as in the winter from Epiphany to Maslenitsa. In some places, the ancient tradition of playing weddings in the spring, on Krasnaya Gorka, after Easter, was still preserved.
The traditional Russian wedding cycle was, as it were, divided into three main periods: pre-wedding, wedding itself, and post-wedding.
The first period began with an unspoken family council - a "gathering" in the groom's house. It was attended by the parents and relatives of the groom. The groom himself did not take part in the gathering. At the gathering, they discussed the property status of the bride, her behavior and health, pedigree.

The initial period of the wedding consisted of matchmaking, conspiracy, inspection of the groom's household, viewing of the bride, pilgrimage, mating and drinking. There were several methods of matchmaking, for example, the groom's parents went to the bride's house and began negotiations. In other cases, a matchmaker or matchmaker was sent to the bride's house, and they asked permission to come with the groom and his parents. Usually the matchmakers were the groom's spiritual parents - the godfather or mother, or one of the relatives.

Sometimes they resorted to the help of professional matchmakers. Light days were chosen for matchmaking, avoiding fast days: Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. In many places, matchmakers took a stick, a poker or a frying pan with them in order to "scoop the girl out". Visiting matchmakers was repeated 2-3 times, or even more. The first visit was seen as "exploration". The bride's parents laid the table: put bread, salt, lit lamps and candles.

After consenting to the marriage of the daughter, the size of the clutch was determined, i.e. the amount of money given by the groom's relatives to buy outfits for the bride and for wedding expenses, as well as the size of the dowry (the bride's personal property consisting of clothes and shoes - it was also called a chest or a ship).

Two or three days later, after the mutual parties agreed to become related, but even before the final decision, the bride's parents and relatives examined the groom's household. The continuation or termination of the "case" depended on how much you liked it. If the inspection of the groom's household ended well, then a few days later the "groom's side" was invited to the bride's bride, where she showed herself in all her dresses and showed all her labor skills - spinning, sewing, etc. The bride at this stage had the right to refuse the groom. Most often, the bridal show ended with a feast. After the feast, the bridesmaids accompanied the groom home. He invited them to his place and generously treated them.
The final stage of the first negotiations was a conspiracy that took place in the bride's house two to three days after the show. The bride after collusion was called "conspiracy."

As a rule, successful negotiations on a conspiracy ended in handshaking. The father of the groom and the father of the bride, as in trade deals, gave each other their hands wrapped in scarves or caftan halves. After the arm-wrestling and feast, which often lasted all night, in the morning the gates were opened so that everyone could come in and look at the bride and groom.
The praying was given special meaning - "Pray to God, it means that the matchmaking is over." After the blessing, the bride and groom kissed three times and exchanged rings - they got engaged. The agreement of the parties reached in collusion usually ended with a joint feast - a binge.

After the conspiracy, the period of preparation for the wedding began. It could last from one to three weeks to a month or more. The conspiracy changed its lifestyle and appearance. She almost never left the house (unlike the groom) and lamented. It was believed that the more the bride cries, the easier it will be for her to live in her husband's family.

The last day before the wedding was called a bachelorette party, where the bride broke with her girlish life, freedom and her family. As a rule, a bachelorette party consisted of a whole complex of ritual actions: making beauty (emphasis on O), unweaving a braid, washing in a bath, saying goodbye to beauty (will) and giving it to her friends, treating the participants in the ceremony to the groom. In some localities, on the last day, a youth was arranged in the groom's house, at which the groom said goodbye to his comrades and to his bachelorhood. On the same evening, the groom's relatives were sent with gifts to the bride's house. If the groom rode himself, his gathering was accompanied by special rituals and instructions. Following the groom, his guests left. The bride was also dressed up, dressed up, the bride washed herself with vodka (wine) and sat down with her friends to wait for the groom. Soon (around 9-10 pm) matchmakers arrived. At the bachelorette party, the groom brought a basket of toiletries, and sometimes a wedding dress, and gave her friends ribbons. At the end of the table, before the groom left, the bride was hidden. The groom was looking for her among his girlfriends, they gave him old women until he gave the ransom to his friends.
For the wedding, a special ceremonial bread was baked - a loaf. In a Russian wedding, bread personified life, prosperity, prosperity and a happy lot. The preparation and distribution of wedding bread was an important part of the wedding ceremony.

The wedding day was the culmination of the whole wedding event. On this day, rituals were performed in the houses of the bride and groom, preparing them for the wedding and expressing the consent and blessing of the family for this marriage. After the wedding, already in the house of the newlyweds, ceremonies were performed, introducing the young to the new household and the position of a married woman.
The morning passed in bustle and preparation for the wedding. The bride was dressed, perhaps more elegantly. When the groom arrived, they demanded a ransom from him, for the right to pass and enter the bride's house. Then the parents blessed their daughter and let her go to church, after which the dowry was usually brought to the groom's house.

There were several options for a trip to the crown. According to one - the bride and groom went to church together, on the other - separately. Having blessed their children, the parents put their friends and matchmakers at their disposal (the parents themselves did not go to church). Druzhko went out into the courtyard with the groom (if the groom was driving from his home) and as a couple (other wedding participants) walked around the courtyard with the icon, and the matchmaker, standing on the cart, scattered the hops. Walking around three times with the icon around, my friend asked everyone present for the groom's blessing for the marriage. After that, they went to church. At parting, they wished: "God forbid to become a crown jewel, to acquire a house, to lead children." The groom rode solemnly, hanging bells to the arch, the groom's horses were covered with white towels. The bride, on the other hand, came to church without much noise, with one povozdnik ("crybaby"). Before the wedding, they converged, in someone's hut and here the groom took the bride by the hand, circled her three times around him, slightly tugged at the braid, as if showing that the bride was being deprived of her will and had to submit to her husband's will. Usually the wedding train departed odd, i.e. an odd number of horses.
In the Central Russian provinces, on the contrary, the friends violently dispersed the oncoming ones. Leaving the yard, the residents congratulated each other on the "valiant departure".
The weather on the day of the wedding was of particular importance. It was considered if "snow and rain on the wedding train is to live richly", "rain on the young is happiness", "a whirlwind of dust to meet the train is not good", "red wedding day - to live red, but poor", "blizzard on the wedding train - the wealth will be blown out. "

The wedding ceremony consisted of the betrothal and the laying of wedding crowns - the actual wedding performed by the priest. During the betrothal, the priest asked the bride and groom about their mutual and voluntary consent to marry and put on rings.
The church wedding gave legal effect. However, marriage with a wedding, but without a wedding, was not encouraged.

The wedding was accompanied by many magical rites: it was customary for the bride and groom to sweep the road through the church with a broom, spread a scarf or linen under the feet of the spouses and throw money to avoid "bare life". The bride and groom tried to step on each other's feet, and the one who managed to do it first had the upper hand in family life. They strictly watched that no one passed between the bride and groom (so that none of them would violate marital fidelity). Standing in front of the crown, the bride was baptized "covered" ie. not with your bare hand (to live richly). Many beliefs were associated with wedding paraphernalia: a ring, candles, crowns. It was believed that dropping a wedding ring during a wedding was "not a good thing." And the one who held the candle higher under the crown, "for that and more" (headship in the family).

They tried to blow out the wedding candles at once in order to live together and die together. The wedding candle was kept and lit during the first birth.

After the wedding in the church gatehouse or the nearest house, two braids were braided to the bride and laid around her head - "they twirled the young woman around." The matchmakers of the bridegroom, who braided their braids for distillation, - whose matchmaker is the first to braid the braid, this gender will be the firstborn. After that, the young woman put on a female headdress - a warrior. This ceremony was marked by the transition of the bride to a group of married women.
In the house, the young newlyweds were expected. Women - fellow villagers went out to meet the wedding train to the outskirts, seeing it, they began to sing songs. Those who met at the house, relatives and guests fired upward from a gun, sprinkled young people with hops and grain, laid fire at the gate and transferred them through it. Parents blessed the newlyweds - father with an icon, mother with bread and salt. In some localities, bread was broken over the heads of the young, and each and every one of them had to keep it until the end of his life. After the blessing, the young people bowed at their feet, trying to do this at the same time, in order to live in harmony. They were seated at the table, on benches covered with fur coats, saying: "A warm and shaggy fur coat - you live warmly and richly." Usually, the mother-in-law or someone from the groom's relatives, with the help of a grip, a frying pan, opened the young bride, i.e. removed the veil from her (later the veil). Then they greeted her and presented gifts.

The first table was usually called "wedding". The young people, although they sat behind him, did not eat anything. In honor of the young people, congratulations and wishes were pronounced. Soon they were taken to another room and fed with supper. Then the young people returned to the locals again. By this time, the second table, called "mountain", was being laid. The relatives of the newlywed came to this table. They were greeted at the porch, serving each a glass of vodka.
Those who arrived were seated at the table in order of seniority - men on one side, women on the other. At the mountain table, the young woman presented gifts to her husband's relatives, bowed to them, hugged them and kissed them. Then she had to call her father-in-law - father, and mother-in-law - mother. During the feast, the girls sang songs. At the end of the table, the young, coming out, fell at their parents' feet, so that they bless them on the marriage bed.

He was arranged in some kind of non-heated room: in a barn or stable, in a bathhouse, in a separate hut. The wedding bed was made with great care. Sometimes, next to the marriage bed, they put some tools of peasant or craft labor so that the newlyweds had sons and were good workers. The young were usually seen off by their boyfriend and matchmaker. Seeing off was accompanied by music and noise, probably, such a design had the meaning of a talisman. The matchmaker and boyfriend examined the bed and the room so that there were no objects that could "spoil" the young, and, giving the last advice and instructions, wished them happiness and well-being. The young were treated to wine. An hour or two later, and in some places even night, they came to wake and raise the young.

Usually this ceremony was performed by the same people who accompanied them to the wedding bed, and led the newlyweds to the hut, where the feast continued. The young people accepted congratulations. In many localities it was customary to show the bloody shirt to the newlywed. If a young woman turned out to be blameless, she and her relatives were given great honors, but if not, then they were subjected to all kinds of desecration.

In many localities, the rituals associated with "waking up" were accompanied by a bath. She was drowned by her friends, matchmakers, boyfriends, godfathers. Seeing off to the bathhouse took place with noise, songs and music. In front of the young people they swept the road with brooms. A friend walked in front of the procession carrying a decorated broom covered with a scarf. Over time, the ritual of the second day gradually began to be replaced by pouring water over, rolling the young in the snow, even just visiting an unheated bath. After the bath, the young rode around the village, stopping by their relatives and inviting them to the next feast.
The feast of the second day was called "cheese table". During the cheese table, cheeses were cut. Druzhko, by seniority, called first the relatives of the young, then the young and asked them to accept a treat from the young - vodka and a snack, and put something "on the cheeses."
The most common rite of the second and third days was the first visit of the newlywed to a spring or well, during which the young woman usually threw money, a ring, a piece of bread cut off from a wedding loaf or a belt into the water.
Another, no less common rite, was the belts are bright. The relatives of the young woman came to her husband's house and reported the missing girl. The search began. The newlywed was taken out to them. They recognized her as theirs, but after examination they found many changes and waived their rights.

They tried to diversify the ongoing wedding festivities with all kinds of games and amusements. Dressing up was a widespread custom on the second day. The mummers dressed in skins that were turned inside out. They dressed up in different animals, gypsies, soldiers. Sometimes men dressed in women's clothing and women in men's.
The third day was usually the final. Often on this day, trials were organized for the young. They forced her to light the stove, cook, sweep the floor, but at the same time they interfered in every possible way - they poured water, overturned the dough, testing her patience. Only her husband could save the young woman from all trials, having treated everyone with vodka.

One of the responsible and fairly widespread rituals was a visit by a son-in-law to a mother-in-law ("bread"). The young mother-in-law treated him to pancakes and scrambled eggs. Often on this visit, the son-in-law demonstrated his attitude towards her, depending on whether she was able to raise her daughter and keep her chastity or not. After the meal, the son-in-law would break the dishes on the floor. In many villages, a visit to the mother-in-law ended with the serving of an accelerating cake, which meant the horses of the wedding festivities.

Usually wedding celebrations lasted three days, for the rich they lasted longer. Special rituals these days were not performed, as a rule, various entertainments were repeated, feasts with refreshments were held, now in the house of the young, then in the house of the husband.
The peasant wedding ceremony served as the basis for the city one.

In the conditions of the city, it has changed significantly, both in general and in details. By the middle of the XIX century. In the rituals of the townspeople, general and specific features were observed that distinguish them from the peasant tradition: the weakening of the magic of the elements, the strengthening of the role of professional matchmakers, the greater spread of marriage contracts, changes in ritual food and the order of feasts, the replacement of dances with dances, and the folklore repertoire with urban songs. This allows us to talk about the already established urban forms of wedding rituals.
Since about the 80s of the XIX century. Under the influence of the increasing democratization of social and cultural life in Russia, changes occurred in the social and everyday relations of the townspeople, which also affected the wedding ceremony.

The October 1917 coup and the subsequent declaration of war on religion attacked, ridiculed and prohibited the traditional wedding ceremony. Throughout the Soviet period, there were, as it were, two main forms of the wedding ceremony: official (state) and traditional.

Folk omens, rituals and little everyday tricks for the wedding day, allowing you to keep family happiness for many years and protect your family life from ill-wishers.

Signs

Warn all relatives and future guests not to receive stabbing or cutting objects.
When you go to your future daughter-in-law to woo for your son, let the son come in first.
He does not take off his hat in front of the matchmakers until he is seated at the table. If one of the interlocutors manages to take a spoon out of the bride's house, then the son will be the master in the house and his wife will never leave. Three months after their wedding, the spoon should be thrown into the bride's house.
A wedding dress, ring and veil should not be allowed to be measured by either girlfriends, sisters, or anyone else. Otherwise, there will be quarrels in the family or the marriage will not take place at all.
Don't buy lace-up shoes. The bride should have exactly shoes without laces.
You cannot let guests into the bedroom of the young people before the wedding, much less show their bed.
A wedding towel, candles are not left in the church. They hide at home - it will definitely come in handy.
The bride's dress, veil, shoes and wedding rings should be under special supervision, as they can be easily damaged and even spoiled by accident. The damage that came from the wedding is heavy and difficult to remove. Therefore, you need to take care of the unknown dress until the year of their life together.
The bride's dress can be white, beige, gold, golden, pink. The bride's dress should not be black, blue, blue, red, green, gray. The same applies to underwear.
The bride should not have pearls and it is never given. Moreover, for a wedding.
The groom must be wearing a black suit. Gray, white, gold are allowed. The same goes for shoes.

Rituals

So that the mother-in-law does not harass
The young woman washes her face three evenings before the registry office or the wedding, wipes herself off with a spoken towel. which he leaves with his parents, he does not take with him to a new family.
How sweet I am to my mother and my father. The way they held me in their arms, protected me more than their eyes, did not give me offense to anyone, so my mother-in-law would love me. would not torment, not scold, would not squeeze out of the light, would pity and protect. My word is strong, tenacious to my business. Key, lock, tongue. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Wedding blessing

So that the young people do not quarrel, they speak on their cutlery before they sit down at the table: As the church is unshakable and indestructible, faith is strong, mead is sweet, so the slave (name) and the slave (name) would be inseparable and unshakable. They could not be without each other, they could not live apart, not a day, not an hour from this time, from the wedding table, as I, a slave (name of the master), read a slander. Amen. Amen. Amen.
When buying an outfit for the bride, try to buy the veil and dress on Wednesday, shoes on Friday. backwards from the apartment: My angel, a golden crown. cut with a clean veil not for a month, not for a year, as long as the slave (name) will live. Amen. Amen. Amen.
So that the bride liked the bride
Splash cold water in your face with both hands and say: I am God's servant (name).
The sun is high and I am higher.
My eyebrows are resinous, my curls are golden, my eyes are clear stars, my lips are red petals.
Whoever sees me will not offend me with a single word.
God help me! Mother of God, bless the marriage.

Marriage against the will of the parents

In difficult cases, if the parents do not bless the lovers for marriage, there is a prayer that softens the parent's heart.
Buy two candles, put one near the Softening Hearts icon, light the other at home and read the plot twelve times.
Angels of heaven, sing Hallelujah! Glory to the holy church that crowns for marriage! God created people, God baptized them, God forgave them, God blessed them for marriage.
Remember, Lord, all the meekness of King David, so let the sisters, brothers, sons-in-law, all relatives, mother, father give blessing to marriage and a crown to God's servants (names). Amen
Buying wedding rings
Without entering the house with rings, you need to say: For a good life, for a faithful family. Amen.

On Wedding Day Signs

The mother of the bride should not be present at the wedding.
A wreath with a veil is put on the head. There should not be any flowers, separately inserted into the hair, hats and tiaras.
The bride should put on a dress first of all, sticking her head through the neckline. A friend with the same name does not dress up the bride.
The dress should have an even number of buttons, if any. The bride's underwear should only be white.
If the bride's hem is cut off during the wedding, the bride herself does not hem it.
Young people are seated at the table on a shaggy fur coat or sheepskin coat turned out with the fur. To live richly.
The spoon that the groom ate at the wedding table is tidied up before the fortieth day. On the fortieth day, the husband is given her to eat again. To live well and long together.
On the wedding day, it is good to plant a tree for the bride and groom. To plant so that they can begin. Leaving the church after the wedding, the bride distributes a change in order to remove unnecessary troubles in her family life.
During the wedding, when the crowns are on their heads or over their heads, the young should not look into each other's eyes: there will be betrayals. Don't look at your candles either. Look at the priest.
During the wedding, try to get out of those doors that you entered.
If all the pins from the bride's outfit were taken out by one woman, then every girl who received such a pin within one year will get married. If the pin is bent, it remains a spinster.
The girl who received a piece of cheese from the bride, cut off before leaving the table, will be the next bride among the girlfriends.
Matchmaking: 3, 5, 7 and 9 are good days. The wedding ring is not worn on a glove. A hat on the bride's wedding day is a sign of divorce.
So that the son-in-law does not offend her daughter, the mother-in-law should (while they are going to the wedding) pin a pin on the bra near her right breast, and on the way back pin it to her left breast. Upon arrival from the church, the mother pins this pin on the skirt of her daughter. Do not remove the pin until the first wash.
Salt doesn’t interest them - their children will not live, they will disperse.
If the wife's ring fell during the wedding, she will die first, if the husband's ring fell, he is a short-lived tenant.
If, at the wedding, one of the young people first steps to the altar, he will be the head of everything.
If someone throws the shoes of salt at the bride, first on the right and then on the left, the young woman will cry with her husband all her life. According to custom, shoes are stolen at a wedding, be careful.
If the wedding car encounters a funeral procession, you should think: There is no wreath for a wreath. Amen.
If the candles go out at the wedding, the bride and groom should exchange candles, otherwise there will be no life.
When crowning your children, make sure that they do not have three same-sex people, that is, three men or women, from their backs.
If a wedding tablecloth is laid for three years in a row on the anniversary of the wedding, then the young will live to a ripe old age.
If during the wedding something is dropped by the groom or the bride, it is prohibited to lift this thing (flowers, gloves, etc.).
Try to avoid scandals during the wedding, so that you do not hurt anyone, that your car does not hit either a dog or a cat, and, of course, the dead are not remembered at the wedding table.
The guests do not eat the loaf with which the newlyweds are greeted. If it is very large and it is impossible to eat it right away, dry the croutons and eat it with soup. Loaf is eaten only by the bride and groom.

Rituals

Very often, due to your happiness, many seek to improve their unhappy family life. On the wedding day and during the wedding, such people change places between your happiness and their grief. To prevent this, the bride and groom should be pinned in invisible places, saying the following on them: There is a throne, a wedding table in front of it, the young people sit at the table, do not drink, do not eat, but look at the icon. Mother of God, save, Mother of God, protect from all deeds and all misfortunes. Bless and save. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
On the day of the wedding, all the household, starting with the mother, should greet the bride and groom in the morning. If there is no one but her, then the mother should tell her child three times (but not at one time): "Hello, (name)!" In this case, the bride or groom should be silent in response. Then they give to eat a pancake, spellbound from corruption: Mother of God, mother to all mothers, do not let people take happiness and share from the slave (name). In the name of the Father and the Son, manifest your will. Lock it up with the key and take it away. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Charms for the bride

The bride should wash herself with the spoken beer.
“How are you, pure gold - silver, pure and decent; as on you, gold - silver. everyone cries, looks in, young and old, married and single, old old women and young young women, beautiful girls and young fellows, so everyone, the servant of God (name), cares and looks at you. You would seem to them gold - silver, you would look and look. and they didn’t take their eyes off you ”. After the wedding, entering her husband's house, the young woman says: “First, another, I go third, but not the last! All out, I have one home. ”To be the most beloved daughter-in-law.
If a young man goes to live in the bride's house, he, entering the hut after the wedding, says: "I am going - the beast is papist and proud, loud, a wolf with teeth, I am a wolf, and you are my sheep."

Wedding charm

So that the bad person does not do something wrong at the wedding, because of which the whole life of the young can be ruined, they read from the very morning:
“Lord, God, bless. I got up, blessed, I see an open field, where a Christian wedding starts, where they called me to this wedding. I will pray, I will obey him, the most true Christ. I have an aspen staff, an old incense, I will eat prosvir, drink holy water, save the Christian wedding, let it go in fun and joy. Nobody could have pinned themselves on to my wedding, no one would have spoiled it. I will close this wedding, no one would have seen it. Walk for hours, fly minutes, meet, God-given parents, with happiness, with joy my wedding. Salt - to the evil, trouble - to the bad, and to the young - good luck and a long life. Be my words, strong and molding. Henceforth and forever and ever. Amen."
This slander is read by the eldest in the family.
So that they do not spoil at the wedding
Before the guests arrive, speak on the poppy and sprinkle it on the doorstep. Then all bad wishes will be killed by your amulet.
They read it like this: Whoever hears, who speaks evil, who thinks evil, interrupts my word.
As this sermak cannot be counted, so my amulet cannot be interfered with.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Whisper over bread and salt
As people love bread and salt, so would a husband love his wife. As salt cannot be substituted for sugar, so a husband cannot cheat on his wife, neither with the dark, nor with the light, nor with the full, nor with the thin, nor with the clever, nor with the stupid, nor with any other slave.
As people love bread and salt, so would a husband's wife love. Just as salt cannot be replaced with sugar, so a wife cannot change her husband either with the dark, or with the light, or with the full, or with the thin, or with the clever, or with the stupid, or with any other slave. Amen.
They talk about bread and salt and give it to the young during the wedding at the wedding table, so that they love each other and there is no betrayal in the house.

Wedding conspiracy

Read during the wedding, so that the newlyweds never disperse and do not walk from each other. All the Holy slaves (male name) take the hands, lead them to the altar. A slave (female name) stands at the crown, looks at the Saints. Lord, Heavenly King, crown the slave (name) with the slave (name) with a crown forever, do not part until death. Amen.

If at the wedding the candle burned out

If one of the spouses has a candle burned out during the wedding, one should make a vow to God and observe it all their lives. For example, you will help someone all your life. You can sometimes buy toys for an orphanage or send at least a little money to a nursing home.
Report:
the stub of a candle is put in water, after reading a plot, they wash their face with this water. Then the candle is removed.
Read like this:
God help me! The Lord has measured the age for everyone.
Lord, help, the age of the slave (name) has been extended.
How you did not let Lazarus die.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Wedding toasts that lead to divorce

"Love her like your soul, and shake her like a neighbor's pear."
"Hit her more often, love will be sweeter."
If someone during the wedding, without hesitation, wished bad things to the young, you should do this:
First, immediately cut off a piece of bread, saying:
As I cut this piece of bread, I also take away your (name) promises.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Then, this piece of bread must be put next to the one who wished the young bad.
But the simplest thing: you need to make a wedding amulet in advance. Read to yourself at the wedding table: My oak table, Pewter guests, all evil glass promises.
As fragile glass breaks, breaks, So more than one evil word in the promise does not come true.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Amulet for the groom

Before the young man goes to the bride's house to pick her up for the wedding, the groom's mother should baptize him and say:
Heavenly heights cannot be reached, Heavenly beauty cannot be taken away.
So no one will subtract my son
And nothing will add to him.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Now and ever and forever and ever. Amen.

Charm for the bride

My daughter is going from yard to yard, On her hem is God's shutter.
No one will damage that shutter, No one will win my amulet.
My leg is left, her leg is right.
Key, lock, tongue.
Amen. Amen. Amen.
Read on the water and wash the bride with it before leaving the house for the wedding.

Words on church steps

Going to get married, step firmly on the entire sole of the steps of the stairs and say to yourself: I step on the first step - I step up my husband with me.
I step on the second step - I step into my father-in-law with me.
I step on the third step - I step in with myself as my mother-in-law.
I step on the fourth step - I step into the trees with me.
I step on the fifth step - I step up with myself.
As on my hand there are five fingers and one fist, so I will rule over everything. Amen.

Love spell during a wedding

When "bitter" sounds at the table for the third time and the young people kiss, the bride should leave the table, touch the first corner with the ring worn on her right hand, and say:
As you, corner, are inseparable from the wall, so be a husband from your wife. Amen.
After the wedding, when leaving the church, tie it on a handkerchief and immediately untie the knot with the words: As I can easily untie a knot, so I will easily give birth in due time. Amen. If you do this, then no matter how many times a woman gives birth, all childbirth will be easy.
If the ring slipped or fell during registration or in church, you should say to yourself three times: “The ring is on me, the problem is not for me. Amen".

After the wedding

You should not give wedding photos to everyone. It is very easy to spoil them.
Ask one of the parents to read the conspiracy on Easter during breakfast: The Easter egg lies calmly, so the young live calmly. The Easter egg is silent, so don't scream between the young ones. Christ is risen, and they have peace and harmony. Amen.
The conspiracy must be read by first crossing himself. The eggs are to be lit in the church. This is done so that you do not have quarrels.

The wedding among the Slavic peoples was of particular importance. It was a significant moment in the life of every bride, therefore, marriage has always been associated with many customs, traditions and beliefs. Wedding ceremonies never invented just like that, out of the blue. Each of them had a special meaning and was aimed at achieving happiness and harmony in a young family.

Now, unfortunately, many customs have been lost, and once important sacred actions have acquired a purely entertainment character. And yet, this is a Russian story, even a Slavic one. After all, once the inhabitants of Russia, Ukraine and Belarus were closely interconnected and represented the branches of one people - the Eastern Slavs. Therefore, our rituals are so similar.

The meaning and mystery of marriage in Slavic

The past, from which the present flows, is based on the Slavic worldview. All modern wedding customs have historical roots, are associated with the peculiarities of our ancestors' attitudes towards life and are based on logical and consistent actions. There was nothing superfluous in the Slavic wedding. Therefore, wishing to conduct a wedding, taking into account all the ancient traditions, you must perfectly understand what justification they had for themselves.

Wedding ceremony- a special action aimed at achieving a certain positive result. The purpose of marriage- to create a strong and friendly family in which husband and wife would hold on to each other. It is not for nothing that Russian words for them are spouses, i.e. people who are in the same harness of life and pull all the joys and hardships of life on equal terms.

All folk wedding ceremonies, and and traditions boil down to one thing: it is right to give your daughter in marriage and to deceive the evil spirits so that she does not spoil them. Russian beliefs were very closely associated with the idea of ​​evil spirits that hover around in huge numbers and are trying to ruin a person's life. Moreover, to the person who is on the verge, i.e. passes from one state to another.

This directly concerned the bride. She at that time was considered just such a borderline creature. After all, the girl left her father's house and passed from an innocent girlish state to a woman's, and later had to become a mother. Therefore, the main task was to shelter her from evil spirits, to protect, thereby protecting the future family. Hence comes this word - "bride", unknown, hidden, secret.

Almost all customs were aimed at achieving 3 major results:

  1. Protect the future spouse, prevent evil spirits from breaking through to her, and, consequently, envelop the newly-made family with good. This was considered a very serious task at the time;
  2. Attract as many good spirits as possible so that, on the contrary, they accompany this family and strengthen it;
  3. To achieve fertility and growth of a new family hearth. Simply put, to do everything possible so that the young not only have a large number of children (we all know how huge the Slavic families were), but also the material wealth grew: there was a rich home, a good harvest, strong and fertile livestock. The peoples of Russia and Belarus were mostly farmers, and for them the concept of a family hearth included a prosperous, strong household. Without this, a normal and strong family could not exist, which is reflected in many folk legends, songs and poems of Russia.

Understanding this feature of the Slavic and later Russian worldview, we can see the special meaning that rituals for marriage carry.

The main ceremonies known today

The modern worldview does not allow us to take all traditions as seriously as our ancestors did. We simply do not understand the meaning of many actions, but still we try to comply. Although wedding ceremonies have now become akin to entertainment, they have not died, which emphasizes their great importance for the people. Moreover, somewhere at a deep level, we still believe that observing certain measures, as well as ancient rituals, will help preserve love and happiness in a newly-made family.

Let's talk about them. The following rituals are performed at almost every wedding that wants to observe all ancient traditions:

  1. Blessing the young;
  2. Ransom;
  3. Wedding;
  4. Arrival at the groom's house;
  5. Wedding feast.

These are the main rituals. But they consist of smaller traditional activities, also closely related to the well-being of the new family. In our time, there are still the rite of twinning families, lighting the family hearth, blessing the daughter, meeting the young. And although they are no longer observed in the required sacred order, they still have a meaning.

By the way, many of them can be found in European countries. This proves once again that the traditions of Russia and its western neighbors still had the same foundation and were formed in the same worldview.

Family twinning rite

Passing from the state of a girl to the state of a woman, the newlywed goes under the care of the spirits of the husband's kind. Accordingly, a special bond is established between her parents and her husband's parents, akin to a magical one. Families must necessarily become related, because the children born of this marriage will belong to both of them.

Nowadays, this is more of a fun tradition than a magical act. The ceremony of twinning is now sometimes carried out jokingly, sometimes even a separate mini-script is written for it. Usually a goblet filled with some kind of drink (most often wine) is used. In order for the twinning to take place, both the parents and the newlyweds must drink from this vessel, at least a sip, but each one is obligatory.
As a rule, the witness brings the drink, he also says parting words, and strictly monitors that all participants in the ritual drink the drink.

In ancient times, the twinning ceremony took place somewhat differently. By the way, both the Ukrainian people and the Belarusian people have it. After the wedding, the families were obliged to perform it, otherwise the spirits would not accept the new person. To eliminate this danger, there was a ritual of twinning, which took place with the reading of special conspiracies and also with drinking a drink from a common bowl.

Without twinning, there will be no happy family life, they firmly believed in this. But there was also another custom, without which a happy future family life was also not imagined.

Daughter's blessing

Very close to the rite of twinning. After all, both there, and there, parents play a special role - the older representatives of the two merging genera. It was important to bless the daughter, because she goes to another family. In general, in the Slavic worldview, the wedding was akin to death for the bride: she died like a girl and began to live like a woman and a mother.

Nowadays, this rite is no longer so anxious. But parental blessing is the most important condition for family prosperity. And in European countries it still exists.

So, before the bride goes down the aisle, the father and mother must give their daughter their blessing. Thus, they approve of this union, agree to it. And if we take into account how great the Slavs had respect for their parents, then the meaning of this custom is understandable. The blessing has not been received, which means that the marriage will not be fruitful and happy. This is why unions made in secret from father and mother were not approved or supported at all.

If a father and mother want their daughter to be happy and support her choices, they must give their blessings. The ritual is performed before the wedding. Parents baptize their daughter, say parting words, express approval. In the old days there were also special conspiracies, but now they are already forgotten.

Igniting the hearth of a new family

In addition to the ceremony of twinning and parental blessing, there was another one, now often forgotten. In Russia and other Slavic states, it is called the ritual of lighting the family hearth. In Europe, there is an analogue that also has the same meaning, but a slightly different order of performing actions and their sequence.

The family hearth is what a new family is founded, what should always burn and warm every member of the marriage union. Fire has a symbolic meaning here. The meaning of the ritual is that, once lit up, the flame of the family hearth should never go out. The task of each of the spouses is to maintain the fire of love and take care of the soul mate. Naturally, all these performances resulted in concrete actions.

Every marriage is preceded by an acquaintance. First it happens between a guy and a girl, then between their parents. The flame of love and passion is gradually kindled, which will then become the basis for the family hearth. By the way, the meeting of young people also has great symbolic significance in the Slavic wedding culture. But we'll talk about it below.

After love happened, the flame flared up, and the wedding took place, it is necessary to translate his spontaneous fervor into the moderate radiance of a quiet hearth. In other words, from mutual passion and love, create a strong family. For this, the Slavs developed a whole complex of special ritual actions. They were accompanied by reading certain conspiracies, absorbing a significant part of ancient magic.

Now much has been lost and is not observed, but the custom has retained the former name of the ritual of igniting the family hearth. Currently, it is held after marriage in the registry office, and after the wedding, if there was one. It is preceded by the rituals of intermarriage of families and the blessing of the bride by her parents. If you want to respect all folk traditions, follow the steps correctly.

The ceremony is quite simple. The ritual will require 3 or 2 candles. Its participants are the mothers of the husband and wife and newlyweds. If one of the spouses does not have a mother, then only one takes upon herself the sacred duty of passing the fire on to the newly made family. Every mother should have a candle in her hands. The husband and wife have one common one, which the groom holds with his right hand, and the bride - with his left.

The parent's candle is lit by the father before the ceremony begins. Mothers receive her and, with congratulatory or parting speeches prepared in advance, pass the flame on to their children. Mothers combine the fire of two candles into a single one and they set fire to the newlyweds' candle. After that, the parental flame is extinguished, and the candle of the bride and groom should burn until the young woman takes off her veil.

In our country, the rite of lighting the hearth is still popular. It is not only deeply symbolic, but also incredibly touching.

The ceremony of meeting the newlyweds

A meeting for the Slavs was of great importance. She united 2 loving hearts, kindled new feelings and was the basis for the formation of a new family.

Then there was a meeting between the parents of the bride and groom, and it was called matchmaking. In Russia, this custom, preceding the wedding, has practically not survived, but in European countries it is still observed. In general, the West is more patriarchal in this respect.

After the matchmaking, the bride and groom meet almost as spouses. The future husband first redeems his betrothed, and then gets the opportunity to see her. This is also a significant moment, and in the Slavic traditions it was of great importance. After the ransom, the young should go to church, where the wedding will take place, and according to modern culture - in the registry office, where the marriage registration will take place.

And only then the main meeting takes place. She, too, is surrounded by many beliefs and originates from very ancient ideas. The ritual is called - a meeting of young people, and it takes place on the doorstep of the house of the newly-made spouse.

Many ancient ideas are associated with it, which are now almost forgotten. After the marriage, the husband and wife go to the spouse's new place of residence - to the spouse's house. On the threshold with bread and salt they are greeted by their parents. The choice of paraphernalia is also not accidental. In ancient times, bread was a symbol of fertility and prosperity, and salt, which was extremely difficult to get, was a symbol of wealth.

The meeting of the young people was noisy and joyful. It was accompanied by parting words and congratulations. But the most important thing was to break off a piece from the loaf. The one who did it better was considered to be the main one in the new family. Naturally, everyone expected this from the groom. After all, a man should lead the family.

The meeting of the young is both a wish for goodness and prosperity, and a joyful moment, and an invitation to the table. Then the wedding feast began, in which a huge number of customs also had to be observed. But the most important thing was waiting for the spouses ahead: the wedding night. Now the tradition is no longer relevant, but earlier it was of great importance. The next morning, the husband was obliged to present proof of his wife's innocence: a sheet of blood. And if the wife turned out to be dishonest, this attracted a huge shame on her entire family.

For the Slavs, the meeting had a sacred, very deep and important meaning. Indeed, according to the beliefs of our ancestors, nothing in this world happened just like that. And once the two met, it means that the spirits wanted it that way. And their decision must be honored and respected.

Rituals and signs are of great importance in today's time. All modern life has flowed from what it used to be. That is why all these actions: twinning, giving parental blessings, meeting young people and many others are still so carefully preserved and guarded.

This is a story that is important to cherish and remember. It is extensive, common, which is confirmed by the marriage rites of Europe, which are practically indistinguishable from ours.

Folk rituals have long accompanied the most significant events in human life in Russia. They were sacredly revered, carefully passing on from generation to generation. Many ancient customs have survived to this day. A rare wedding is complete without traditional ceremonies. They give the first family holiday of young people a special solemnity, make it bright and memorable. Wedding ceremonies not only symbolically unite the destinies of lovers, but also with an invisible thread connect many generations of their families.

Traditional pre-wedding customs

Wedding ceremonies in Russia begin long before the joyous event. The most common customs preceding marriage:

  • matchmaking;
  • bride;
  • hen-party;
  • bachelor party.

Long gone are the days when parents chose the right pair for their children. Modern lovers usually decide on their own to start a family, and matchmaking involves a solemn marriage proposal in the presence of the father and mother of the bride.

And yet, paying tribute to traditions, many arrange matchmaking according to all the rules. This is a fascinating and beautiful ceremony that takes place in the bride's house. Having received the consent and blessing of her parents, they begin preparations for the wedding.

A return visit to the groom's house - a bride, in the old days was made with the aim of inspecting the farm, assessing the family's wealth and making sure that the bride will get into good conditions after the wedding.

Modern bride shows are rather symbolic. Arriving at the house of future relatives, the bride's parents get to know them better and once again confirm their consent to the marriage. At the bridegroom, they begin to discuss the preparation for the upcoming holiday.

Shortly before the wedding, a bachelorette party is traditionally held. The bride gathers her friends, says goodbye to her former unmarried life. The girls exchange small gifts, have fun and amuse themselves heartily.

The bachelor party is a similar holiday for the friends of the future newlywed. To hold an interesting party in a narrow circle of close friends or to celebrate an event on a grand scale - everyone decides for himself, based on his preferences and capabilities.

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Carrying out ceremonies on the day of the wedding

In order for the long-awaited celebration to go beautifully, it is advisable to prepare for the wedding rituals in advance. If a toastmaster is invited to the wedding, he will offer ready-made scenarios for their conduct and advise what wedding attributes should be purchased. Selected ceremonies, with the exception of an Orthodox wedding, are easy to organize and independently.

Traditional wedding ceremonies in Russia:

  • ransom of the bride;
  • Orthodox wedding;
  • blessing with bread and salt;
  • gifting the newlyweds;
  • twinning of families;
  • removal of the wedding veil;
  • transfer of the family hearth.
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Before the marriage is concluded, the last pre-wedding ceremony is performed - the ransom of the bride.

If in past times a girl was redeemed in the literal sense of the word, giving her parents money and other material values ​​as a sign that the future husband is able to support his wife, then the modern ceremony is carried out in a simplified and often humorous form.

The witness and the bridesmaids arrange a number of "obstacles" for the groom in the form of various contests, which he must overcome in order to present the bride with a wedding bouquet. Demonstrating his quick wit, endurance, sense of humor, the guy gets the right to take his beloved and become her husband. The groom and the witness prepare small gifts for the girls: champagne, sweets and funny souvenirs. Sometimes the bride is bought for money.

A cheerful custom will entertain guests and heroes of the upcoming celebration, cheer up and serve as a good start to a joyful day. It is worth calculating in advance the time required for the ceremony of redemption of the bride, so as not to be late for marriage registration or wedding ceremony.

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Orthodox wedding ceremony

Many young couples not only get married officially, but also want to take an oath of love and fidelity before God, having received a church blessing. In this case, the wedding ritual in the temple is the most important and significant ceremony of the wedding celebration.

The decision is important to make consciously. A wedding requires a certain spiritual preparation: future newlyweds need to talk with a priest, confess, receive Holy Communion and withstand a short fast. The sacrament of the church blessing of the new family is invited to share only the most dear and close people.

For the solemn ritual, two wedding candles, a white towel under the feet of the newlyweds, wedding rings and wedding icons of the Savior and the Mother of God are purchased. It should be noted that in Russia the church crowns only those newlyweds who have officially registered their marriage.

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Blessing with bread and salt

At a wedding, the ritual with a loaf is traditionally carried out in the groom's house. Parents meet the happy newlyweds at the entrance with an icon and bread and salt on an embroidered towel and bless them. On the way, guests shower the young spouses with rose petals, and coins and grains of wheat or rice are thrown at their feet - symbols of family happiness, prosperity and fertility.

The ceremony of bread and salt at a wedding is often organized at a restaurant or cafe before the start of a festive banquet. The solemn custom means the acceptance of the daughter-in-law into the house of the husband's parents. According to tradition, the bride and groom must simultaneously bite off the loaf without the help of their hands. It is believed that the one whose piece is larger will dominate the family.

Sometimes guests are treated to a wedding loaf. But more often it is hidden by the groom's mother, so that after the wedding she can be taken to the temple and left on the table for donations. According to some beliefs, this guarantees harmony and well-being in the newlyweds' family.

For the ceremony, they buy or bake an elegant butter loaf. They also prepare an embroidered towel and an icon to bless the young. A small salt shaker is placed in the center of the holiday bread.

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Gift giving by guests

After the parental blessing, the groom in his arms brings the bride into the banquet hall. Before the start of the wedding feast, guests present gifts to the young spouses. At the same time, it is not customary to make long congratulatory speeches, so as not to tire the newlyweds and other present. However, a few sincere sincere words that guide the newlyweds to their life together will successfully complement the ceremony of giving gifts at the wedding.

If an impressive number of guests are invited to the celebration, and the ceremony of gifting the newlyweds runs the risk of dragging on for a long time, then it is carried out in several stages: first, the parents and closest relatives congratulate the young, and after the first part of the wedding feast, it is the turn of friends, neighbors and work colleagues.

Witnesses and toastmaster make sure that all gifts are collected in one place, and the flowers are placed in vases or other containers with water. For cash gifts, you can prepare an elegant chest or a bright box with a slot in advance.

A good idea is to invite those present to write congratulatory words for the newlyweds in a specially prepared album. You can also put a white tablecloth on a separate table, which friends and relatives of the newlyweds will gladly paint with sincere wishes for goodness, happiness, prosperity and well-being.

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Breeding families of newlyweds

At the wedding, the ceremony for the parents of the newlyweds is carried out in the second part of the festive feast. On this solemn day, not only the hearts of lovers unite, but also become related to their families.

You can start the marriage ceremony with a beautiful ceremony. To do this, prepare a figured bottle decorated with lace or bright ribbons, a small funnel and coarse salt of two colors. The salt is pre-stained with undiluted gouache and dried.

After the solemn words of the host of the wedding about the unification of two families and good wishes, the newlyweds pour colored salt from two glasses into one bottle. The ceremony symbolizes the fusion of the destinies of the newlyweds into one and the twinning of their families.

Then the son-in-law with the mother-in-law and the father-in-law, the daughter-in-law with the mother-in-law and the father-in-law, and the parents of the bride and groom among themselves kiss (or just hug). After the ceremony, new relatives take turns dancing with each other.

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Removing the bride's veil

The modern ceremony of removing the veil at a wedding is carried out differently. A pillow is placed on the chair in the center of the hall and the bride is seated. This symbolically means that the daughter-in-law now has her own cozy place in the groom's house. The mother-in-law takes off the veil from the newlywed and, with good wishes, ties an elegant shawl or scarf on her head.

Then the bride takes turns dancing with all the unmarried girlfriends, lifting the veil over their heads. Other girls are not allowed to try on the bride's veil. According to popular belief, this is a long marriage. In some scenarios, girlfriends do not dance with the bride, but pass to beautiful music under the veil that the young wife holds in her hands. The dance can be different: the newlyweds raise the veil by the wreath, and the girlfriends dance around.

Sometimes the veil is removed by the bride's mother or the groom, and the mother-in-law puts on the headscarf. The wedding headdress is kept in the home of a young family. It will serve as a reliable amulet for the future daughter of the spouses.

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Hearth transfer

One of the most touching and spectacular wedding customs is the ceremony of handing over the family hearth. It is held at the very end of the celebration and helps to finish it beautifully. The mother of the newlywed lights a large candle and carefully transfers it to her daughter as a piece of home warmth, comfort and happiness, which from now on should reign in the house of a young family.

Sometimes the ceremony with candles at a wedding is different: from two small candles held by the mother of the bride and groom, the newlyweds light the symbolic fire of their family. The ceremony looks very beautiful in a semi-dark hall. To gentle music, the newlyweds slowly circle in the last wedding dance, completing the holiday and saying goodbye to the guests.

Wedding candle - a symbol of warmth and well-being of the parental home

A year will fly by, and the young couple will perform a knot tying ceremony at a cotton wedding - the first family anniversary. In twenty-five years, they will tenderly give each other silver. Having lived in harmony for half a century, they will again exchange gold rings with love and gratitude. But the most precious will forever be memories of an amazing wedding celebration.