Father-in-law with daughter-in-law at the dacha stories. Dreaming as a traditional form of incest. Truth or fiction

In February, I wrote a post about the relationship with my father-in-law. Now the continuation, so to speak, came, then I was at work with my wife. My husband all these days did not find a place for himself, she saw how twitchy he was, he himself did not want him to come.

I came home although my legs weren’t walking, I went in, my father-in-law was just leaving the balcony and his wife came out to the meeting, I greeted and went straight to the kitchen. I hear they are going somewhere, (our apartment was being renovated and so there was no place to spend the night all the furniture was folded in the nursery, they were sleeping in the bedroom themselves) I immediately realized that they were going to my son's apartment (my son died in November), I didn’t even leave .. I could not see raise him, as if I'm to blame for something ... I hear his wife muttered something like that I didn't even talk to Sveta.
Well, they left, the next day we went with our son on business and then immediately left. They were supposed to arrive in two weeks. And when they left, a few days later my mother called and said that the mother of the father-in-law's wife had stopped greeting her, although before they always greeted because they live in the same street. Well, what did that serve, I don’t know, I advised my mother not to pay attention to her. After that, the father-in-law arrived after 3 weeks somewhere, went in to say hello, I said hello and went into the room, my husband entertained him himself, they were in the living room, I prepared a meal with them in the bedroom, I did not sit down. The next day he got up in the morning and left, as I understood, to that apartment. (well, it's better for me) my husband came in the evening, I told him that he was not there, he called him to come, he did not come right away, the husband asked if he would eat, he refused. I drank only tea.
I don’t know the girls .. maybe I have such a character by nature, but I offered him tea myself, (I went to meet only because of my husband because I didn’t have the strength to watch him say nothing). Nothing followed from my father-in-law, no apologies, no talk about it. (Well, I didn't want to myself) I stayed with us for 2 more days, during these two days I didn't talk to him, just fed him, (by the way, he even washed the dishes after himself) ...
In the evening I sat down at the table with them for the first time, but was silent, I saw just how my husband calmed down. Now at the moment I do not feel the resentment that I had, but there is no love for him at all, just respect, I don’t come closer than 3 meters to him.
Mom calls and asks how are you, I say that I don’t communicate with him only on business, says that it’s right, says that his wife’s mom stopped saying hello because his wife told her everything and that I’m bad and didn’t meet them properly at that time ... But I already stopped paying attention, just to get away from this dirt and see them less.

Post for the education of the Little Russians, who were previously unknown to these customs of the Great Russians

Photographic card to attract attention.
The Sokolov family from the Tambov province:

A tree plant with one trunk growing from the root system and branches forming a crown ◆
Kushch - a plant with many tree-like branches growing from a common root system, which does not have a central trunk ◆

The daughter-in-law is the one who is fucked by the father-in-law's son (the son's wife in relation to his father-in-law) ◆
Daughter-in-law - when the daughter-in-law is intercoursed by two - the son and his father ◆

What would you say if it suddenly came to light that:
- the one whom you called your father all your life, is in fact your uncle (your father's brother from your grandmother and your great-grandfather)?
-that the one whom you considered your grandfather all your life is actually your father (and he is the father of your "father" who is actually not your father, but your uncle)?
- that half of your brothers and sisters in your large family have the same mother - the same as yours, but the fathers are different (some of them have the same father as you, and the other part has your uncle's father - the son of their grandfather who is your father in turn)?

For a start, you would have broken your head in such a pedigree.
This is out of habit. Because you are not a Great Russian.
Because for the overwhelming majority of Great Russians, it is precisely such a multi-stemmed genealogical tree (shrub) that is typical in their pedigree. Typical because it was precisely according to this pattern that intrafamily sex life was arranged, which was locally widespread in the villages from where the overwhelming majority of today's population of Russia originates (in the late 19th - early 20th centuries, 85% of the population of Russia lived in the villages, and a century earlier, all 90%) ...
Here, of course, one can argue that the ubiquitous does not yet mean the universal.
I agree 100%.
This statement is just as true as the fact that among the widespread and traditional drunkenness in Russia, you can try to look for individual cases of hereditary, from grandfather-great-grandfather, absolute teetotalers.

For serfs with large family fathers, the prospect of being polygamists in their hut was so attractive (why at least at home in relation to their maids not to become like a landowner with the right of the first night and the custom of unrestrainedly bullying all their courtyard girls?) neither simple serfs, nor Cossacks, nor Old Believers refused this.
In order to draw more definite conclusions about the reasons that most contributed to the fact that in the process of socially determined natural selection of behavioral models this particular model was entrenched in Great Russians, additional research is needed to clarify which of the factors was determining here. The one mentioned above, or the atavistic echoes of customs introduced into the new environment (as, for example, the Permian custom of putting one of their girls at night for a respected guest in the 20s of the 20th century) that existed among some ethnic groups of the empire before one of them a community of Great Russians began to form.
The fact that they became Great Russians at the same time called themselves Christians (peasants), apparently, their traditional daily sex life did not change in any way.

In turn, each girl growing up in such families, from childhood knew her perspective - after being married into a family of Great Russians, to be publicly intercoursed alternately by her husband and father-in-law (these are not labyrinths of secret passages to separate alcoves with a staff of servants ensuring the secrecy of walking to the left of their wives to the favorites of the nobles - here all sexual intercourse took place in one hut in front of the whole family).
So the traditions of communality strengthened the sexual community, and the uncertainty in determining the paternity of the next generation, in turn, stimulated the preservation of the original communality (the head of the family could not be 100% sure that separating one of his sons formally considered, he gives part of his property to his son, and not uncle).

From childhood, children saw the immoral (from the point of view of Christianity) behavior of their parents, so the first consequence of this was that in Great Russia (as in Little Russia) there could not appear and take root the appeal of children to their parents to "you".
But fear without respect was present - because just as the Tsar in the scale of the state in the minds of the Great Russian stood above the laws, so the head of the family was likened in his mind to the omnipotent of the local, intrafamily, intrafamily scale.

The second consequence of disrespect for such a Great Russian way of a communally intercourse mother was the birth and flourishing of the richest genre of everyday obscene ditties, performed by them in the presence of these women and their children.

That is why the Little Russians opposed to hand off their daughters for the Great Russians - they knew what kind of sexual fate (unacceptable from their point of view) was in store for them.
There are many quotes from those years, which say that even in the nearby Little Russian villages and Great Russian villages, there were almost no mutual marriages.
But this is already another topic, a derivative of this one.

This is how N. Kostomarov noted this difference in 1861:

Personal will prevails in the character of the Ukrainian people, and universality prevails in the Russian people. For a Ukrainian, the connection between people is fundamentally based on mutual consent and can disintegrate at their mutual will.

The Russians strive to consolidate the necessity and indissolubility of the once established connection, and attribute the very reason for the establishment to God's will and, therefore, remove it from human criticism.

The team for the Ukrainian is not the same as for the Russian. For the first, it is a voluntary organization of people. In Ukraine, each member of the community is an independent person, an original owner. His duty in the community is only in the sphere of mutual security and the benefit of each.

For a Russian, a collective is an expression of a common will that engulfs everyone's personal identity.

FAMILY OR COMMUNITY

Russians have a strong desire for a close collective organization of people, where personal interests are destroyed under the rule of common interests. The inviolable legality of the common will, expressed by the meaning of a difficult fate, coincides in the Russian people with the unity of family life, the indivisibility of families, and communal property.
For a Ukrainian, there is nothing harder and more disgusting than such an order.

Families of Ukrainians are divided and split up as soon as there is a need for an independent life. The custody of parents over adult children seems to be unbearable despotism for a Ukrainian. The claims of older brothers to the smaller ones, as well as the relationship between uncles and nephews, arouse violent enmity between them.
Blood ties and kinship do little to dispose Ukrainians to harmony and mutual love. On the contrary, very often people who are friendly, meek, peaceful and accommodating are in irreconcilable enmity with their blood relatives. Quarrels between relatives are the most common occurrence in any class.
In Ukraine, in order to preserve love and harmony between close relatives, they need to disperse and have as little in common as possible. Kinship ties among Ukrainians tend to weaken them rather than strengthen them.

On the contrary, among Russians, blood ties often make a person be friendlier, fairer, more condescending to another, even when he does not differ at all in these qualities in relation to strangers. Out of obedience to duty, a Russian is ready to force himself to love his neighbors by blood, even if he does not like them, to condescend to them, because they are akin to him, he is ready for a personal donation for them, realizing that they are not worth it - they are their own blood ...

Some Russians who acquired an estate in Ukraine sometimes started to introduce Russian collectivism and indivisibility into Ukrainian families. Disgusting scenes were the fruit of this.
Not only were the brothers ready to start a fight every minute, but the sons dragged their fathers by the hair through the thresholds of the house.

A Ukrainian is then a respectful son, when his parents leave him complete freedom and themselves in old age obey his will. Then a good brother, when he lives with his brother as a neighbor, as a comrade, having nothing in common, inseparable.
In Ukrainian families, the rule is observed: to each his own. Not only adult family members do not wear another's clothes, even children have their own.

Russians, in their peasant life, often have two sisters who do not know which of them belongs to this or that sheepskin coat, and children do not even have a mention of a separate belonging.

WOMAN, MOTHER

A woman in Russian culture rarely rises to her human ideal, rarely her beauty rises above matter, rarely a feeling in love can appreciate something in her beyond the bodily form, the valor and dignity of the female soul is rarely shown.

The Ukrainian woman in folklore, on the contrary, is so spiritually beautiful that in her fall she expresses her pure nature poetically, and is ashamed of her humiliation. In the songs playful, comic, the opposite of the nature of the Ukrainian and Russian peoples is sharply expressed. In Ukrainian songs about a woman, mother, the charm of words is developed and expressions reach true artistry.

On the contrary, Russian songs of this category show nothing more than the desire of labor tired of prosaic activity to forget for a minute somehow, without breaking your head, without touching your heart and imagination. This song does not exist for itself, but for some kind of decoration, more material pleasure.

PERSONALITY

Among Russians, the serf united his fate with the life of the master: the will of the master began for him to replace his own will.

Life in Ukraine was different. The concept of community was almost absent. The ancient right of personal freedom was not absorbed by the preponderance of social power, and the concept of common land ownership was not developed. Each farmer was an independent owner of his land. Thus, property rights elevated the rich and powerful, creating an upper class, and plunging the mass of the poor people into enslavement. But in Ukraine the tycoon-owner was not an expression of the lordly, and through her and the royal will, he is the owner by right. This right expressed the strength, the triumph of circumstances and the prescription of origin. Naturally, in Ukraine, a serf, a dependent person, at the first opportunity, wanted to be free.

In Russia, the serf could not desire this, for he found his master dependent on another higher will, just as he himself depended on him.

ROLE OF THE RULER

For Russians, if God raises, rewards one, and punishes the other, it means that the tsar must act in the same way, fulfilling the divine will on earth. This is clearly expressed by the Russian proverb: the will of God, the judgment of the tsars. Hence the resignation of the people, who endure even that which surpasses the measures of human patience. To resist a king, even an unrighteous one, is to resist God - both sinful and dangerous, because God will send even worse troubles.

In Russia, the tsar-sovereign is the complete owner of the entire state. The word "sovereign" meant an owner who has the unconditional right, at his discretion, to dispose of everything that is in his state as his own things. Russians know what was given from the tsar, could always be taken away by him and given to another, as it constantly happened.

Dreaming is a practice in a Russian village, in which a man - the head of a large peasant family (living in the same hut) has sexual intercourse with the younger women of the family, usually with his son's wife (the relationship of the father-in-law with the daughter-in-law, called the daughter-in-law). This practice became especially widespread in the 18th-19th centuries,

Many publicists of the 19th century wrote in detail about the prevalence of sleepwalking associated with the absolute power of the "bolshak", the "father of the family" (house owner) over their households (A. N. Engelgardt - "Letters from the Village"; primary materials of the ethnographic bureau of the prince V. N. Tenishev ).

The Russian publicist VD Nabokov wrote: “Nowhere, it seems, except Russia, is there at least one type of incest that takes on the character of an almost normal everyday phenomenon, having received the appropriate technical name - dreamer”.

Dreaming is mentioned in fiction ("Fathers and Sons" by I. S. Turgenev, "The Life of a Woman" by N. S. Leskov, "Well" by S. V. Loginov). In the book V. M. Doroshevich "Sakhalin" is given a folk omen: As the daughter-in-law will take to help, you cannot move the bell. The motives of dreaming in the opera "Lady Macbeth of the Mtsensk District" by D. D. Shostakovich were introduced by the librettists and are absent from the novel of the same name by Leskov. Also, daughter-in-law is found in Mikhail Sholokhov's novel Quiet Flows the Don, when Daria Melekhova tries to seduce her father-in-law Panteley Prokofievich, in the absence of her husband Peter, explaining this by the fact that "he cannot live without a Cossack."

Here is what contemporaries wrote about this (quotes and scans from pre-revolutionary editions):

Information about the Cossack communities on the Don.
Materials for customary law. Volume 1.

1.

2.

3. Dreaming

Special mention should be made of such a phenomenon of rural life as sleepwalking. It should be recognized that sexual intimacy between the head of a peasant family (bolshak) and his daughter-in-law was not an exceptional phenomenon, but for the patriarchal way of rural life, to some extent, and commonplace. “It seems nowhere except Russia,” noted VD Nabokov, “there is not, at least, that one type of incest has acquired the character of an almost normal everyday phenomenon, having received the appropriate technical name - daughters-in-law” [Cit. Quo: 35, p. 52]. Observers noted that this custom was still alive at the end of the 19th century, and one of the reasons for its persistence was the seasonal outflow of young men to work. Although this form of incest was condemned by an educated society, the peasants did not consider it a serious offense. In a number of places where sleepwalking was widespread, this vice was not given special importance. Moreover, sometimes they said about the daughter-in-law with a share of sympathy: “He loves his daughter-in-law. Yong lives with her as with a wife, he liked him. " According to the observation of the ethnographer A. V. Balov, in the Yaroslavl villages "daughter-in-law or illegal cohabitation of a father-in-law with a daughter-in-law is a rather common phenomenon."

In the eyes of the peasants, daughter-in-law was a sin, but not a crime. From a different position, this act was interpreted by the law. Even if the sexual intercourse between the father-in-law and the daughter-in-law was not the result of violent actions, it was still a criminal act, since it violated the prohibition on sexual intercourse between close relatives, in this case by property, and, therefore, was nothing more than incest.

The reason for the existence of this form of satisfying sexual needs should be seen in the peculiarities of the peasant life. One of the reasons is early marriages. In the middle of the 19th century, according to A.P. Zvonkov, in the villages of the Elatomsky district of the Tambov province, it was customary to marry 12-13 year old boys to brides aged 16-17 years. Fathers prone to sleepwalking deliberately married their sons young in order to take advantage of their inexperience. Another reason that created the conditions for the spread of this vice in the rural environment was the out-work of the peasants. “A young spouse will not live sometimes even a year, as his father sends him to the Volga or somewhere to work. The wife is left alone under the weak control of her mother-in-law. " In 1899, an informant from the Bolkhovsky district of the Oryol province reported: "Sleepwalking is widespread here because husbands go to work, see their wives only twice a year, while the father-in-law stays at home and disposes at his own discretion." The author of the correspondence from the Poshekhonsky uyezd of the Yaroslavl province noted that with the domination of out-of-town trades in the uyezd, young people often leave for the wrong side for a year, or even more, in a month or two, as, for example, all persons living in service in the trading establishments of g. Petersburg and Moscow. Information from the Medynsky district of the Kaluga province is similar in content. “There are frequent cases in families where a young husband, working in a factory, is absent for years or is serving military service, and the father-in-law begins to play daughters-in-law in the most daring and rude way.”

The mechanism for persuading a daughter-in-law to cohabit with her father-in-law was quite simple. Taking advantage of the absence of his son (departure, service), and sometimes in his presence, the father-in-law forced the daughter-in-law to have sexual intercourse. All means were used: persuasions, gifts, and promises of light work. Usually, such a targeted siege yielded results. Otherwise, back-breaking work, accompanied by nagging, cursing, and often beatings, became the lot of a young woman. The life of women who refused their father-in-law to satisfy their carnal desires, according to a rural correspondent from the Kaluga province, became unbearably painful. According to the peasant woman, who experienced her daughter-in-law, in case of refusal to the father-in-law, he took revenge on the daughter-in-law, telling her son all sorts of nasty things about the fact that she had a relationship with strangers in his absence. ET Soloviev, a specialist in civil law of the pre-revolutionary period, noted in his work that “when the daughter-in-law does not want to be the husband-in-law’s concubine, she gets severe beatings from him, arrest in an underground, cellar or in a cold barn”.

A typical example of a father-in-law's inclination to sexual intercourse is given in the correspondence (1899) of a resident of the village of Krestovozdvizhenskie Ryabinki, Bolkhovsky district, Oryol province, V.T. “A rich peasant Semin of 46 years old, having a sickly wife, sent his two sons to the“ mines ”, he himself remained with two daughters-in-law. He began to get along with the wife of the eldest son Gregory, and since peasant women are very weak for outfits and have an addiction to alcohol, it is clear that the father-in-law quickly got along with his daughter-in-law. Then he began to "joke" to the younger one. For a long time she did not give up, but due to oppression and gifts, she agreed. The younger daughter-in-law, noticing the "cupids" of the father-in-law with the elder, brought the mother-in-law to the barn during their intercourse. In the end, the husband bought a blue cubed dress for the old woman, and gave her daughters-in-law a scarf each. ”

A similar situation when a woman chooses a life and life strategy that is advantageous for herself was described by an informant from the Poshekhonsky district of the Yaroslavl province. One peasant for 37 years married his son to a young beauty in order to get closer to her, and then sent his son to work in St. Petersburg. While the son was absent, the father-in-law got together with his daughter-in-law, an illegitimate child was born, and the father eventually forced his son to leave his family and home and finally leave for the city.

Family love conflicts were not always resolved safely, immoral sexual intercourse in a peasant family sometimes had a tragic ending. According to the report of "Donskoy oblastnye vedomosti" for 1873, the wife killed her husband, convicting him of being a daughter-in-law. Peasant s. Popovka, Podgorenskaya Volost, Kozlovsky Uyezd, Tambov Province Filimon Volkov killed his wife for her illegal cohabitation with his father. The case of the murder by the son of his father-daughter-in-law took place in the village. Bezhanitsy of the Pskov province. At the beginning of the twentieth century. the district court heard the case of Matryona K. and her father-in-law Dmitry K., accused of infanticide. The accused Matryona K., a peasant woman, married, 30 years old, when questioned by a police officer, confessed to him that for 6 years, obeying the insistence of her father-in-law, she was in connection with him, she had a son from him, who is now about five years old. From him, she became pregnant again. Father-in-law Dmitry K., a peasant, 59 years old, having learned about the approach of childbirth, ordered her to go to Riga and, as soon as she gave birth, grabbed the baby, buried him in the ground in the barn. In with. Pure Bochkari of the Kostroma province, the mother of the peasant Kochnev, who was in love with him, poisoned her daughter-in-law. The reason for the poisoning was jealousy. The love affair between mother and son was confirmed during the investigation by their relatives.

Rarely did young women try to find protection from sexual assault on the part of their father-in-law in the parish court, but, as a rule, they avoided dealing with such cases. True, the pre-revolutionary lawyer I. G. Orshansky cited an example in his research, when, according to the daughter-in-law's complaint against the father-in-law's agreement to become a daughter-in-law, the latter was deprived of the “majority” by the decision of the volost court. But this was more the exception than the rule. In cases where the criminal relationship between the father-in-law and the daughter-in-law was discovered, the culprit was, as a rule, the woman, who was expected to be brutally punished by her husband. This is the characteristic result of the unauthorized reprisal. “The wife was beaten half to death; the hair was half torn out, the face was turned into one continuous bruise, the body was torn off, the clothes were torn into small pieces, so that the woman was completely naked on the street. "

Hello! My name is Marina (real name), I am now 26 years old, my husband is two months younger, my daughter is 7 years old. My story, although unusual, is quite real. I ask you not to judge strictly, there is simply no one and nowhere to speak out already. I know that this is wrong, it is dirty and disgusting, I hate myself, I am ashamed to look my husband in the eyes, his mother is generally a holy woman, daughters - they do not deserve all this, but I can’t help myself. I'll start in order.

She got married, as it was customary to say, most likely on arrival. Not to say that I loved him (my husband) especially, I was just interested in him. I met my husband as a second year student, we studied in parallel, but at different faculties. We started dating, then rented a room for two. Six months later, I became pregnant, and I had to go to the academy, Vova (future husband) continued to study and got a job.

Six months after the birth of my daughter, I resumed my studies. We graduated with grief in half, my husband was assigned to the periphery. I didn’t work, we were running around rented apartments, Vova often changed jobs, there was not enough money all the time. Even the wedding was in the hostel after the birth. Then his father said that he had built a good house in a normal city, that his specialty was in demand from some acquaintances, and invited us to stay with his parents. How glad we were ... They nursed their granddaughter, we were given the entire second floor ...

Vova got involved in work well, finally began to bring good money, gifts to his daughter and sometimes to me, but he began to pay more attention to work and friends than to me. But on the other hand, I found a common language with his parents, especially with father Viktor Nikolaevich. We could chat for hours with him on any topic, do housework, do some business - he has a small store in the village, and I was also involved there of my own free will.

He is a solid man, prominent and, despite his age, looks much younger than his years. Often they began to chat about sexual topics. And from more frequent communication, I was more and more drawn to him. Every day he became more and more attractive to me - not only as a relative and as a person, but as a MAN! Yes, exactly as a man, as a male, as a person with whom I would like to share a bed. He often hugged me like a daughter-in-law, like a daughter, and I just have goosebumps.

Maybe it was from a lack of attention on the part of her husband: sex - one stick every ten days, short kisses, and stingy with affection. Sex with my husband has become just a physical necessity, although orgasms are regular ... I don’t know why this happened, I don’t know !!!

And in the back room of the store, Viktor Nikolayevich and I were putting the goods on the shelves, I almost fell off the stool, he caught me and ... It happened! We kissed !!! Suck, long kiss! I didn't know what was happening to me at that moment. I was ready to give myself to him right there, in the back room, I already began to pull off my dress, but he stopped me. He stepped aside, apologized, asked never to be alone again, because this is more than a betrayal.

We had enough for two weeks. All this time I thought only of HIM! She even imagined his father in bed with her husband. The father-in-law also changed in face, became more withdrawn and gloomy. The mother-in-law did not notice that something was wrong with him, and, in his words, they have not had sex with Vova's mother for a long time due to her illness.

Two weeks after the above events, we celebrated our daughter's birthday. The husband got drunk and fell asleep. Viktor Nikolaevich drinks very little, and I generally do not drink. The mother-in-law also went to bed, citing poor health, and Viktor and I decided to take a walk. I didn’t hide my feelings anymore, neither did he. We went to the bathhouse, took off our clothes and had sex. I couldn't even dream of such a thing !!! Three and a half hours, almost without stopping! I was perfectly aware of what I was doing, I know that I wanted it for a long time, we both wanted it. I could not tear myself away from him, I was ready to caress and caress him, I realized that I fell in love, really fell in love, even though this love is taboo! After that I left, went to my husband, and he went to his wife.

Three days later this was repeated in the car, on the river bank. Then in the store in the same backroom. We fucked wherever we got to. We both know this is all wrong. The husband will lose not only his wife, but also his father, the closest people stabbed him in the back. His mother may not survive this at all, she has a bad heart! The worst thing is that I no longer want a husband as a man, physically I am drawn to only one person - his father! In fulfilling my marital duty with my husband, I have the feeling that I am betraying my beloved.

How we want to be together! How we love each other! How can we confess everything to our halves without hurting them, avoid tragedy, because they won't understand us? And my husband and I also have a daughter! How can I explain to her later? Viktor Nikolaevich said that he would talk to his son like a man, try to explain everything to him. It will be more difficult with the mother-in-law if her heart cannot bear such news. She is ready to lay hands on herself, so the daughter stops. It has been going on for half a year right under everyone's nose, and the mother-in-law begins to suspect something. Husband - no! He trusts and loves. How to be?

For some reason, they rarely talk about the relationship between the father-in-law and the young daughter-in-law. Probably because nothing out of the ordinary happens between the father-in-law and the daughter-in-law.

Yes, they don't even make up jokes on this topic, unlike jokes about mother-in-law and son-in-law.

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Photo gallery: Relationship between father-in-law and young daughter-in-law

Perhaps because the relationship between the daughter-in-law and the father-in-law is more often neutral or friendly.

In Russia the father himself chose a spouse for his son, therefore, by the way, the mother-in-law did not treat the daughter-in-law so much - the man in the house was the main one. The main man remains in modern Russia. In Ukraine, there is a different type of family relations: the dominance of the feminine principle is obvious, which is proven even by folklore. In our country, a woman is more often the leader, respectively, and there are more conflicts between women of different generations. The mother-in-law initially prejudices her daughter-in-law, since she has a special relationship with her son (like a father with her daughter). And, probably, the husband often takes the side of his wife in a conflict with his daughter-in-law?

In relationship father-in-law and young daughter-in-law, there is such a position: the father-in-law can bully the daughter-in-law in several cases. The first is if he is henpecked, trying to please his wife in everything. The second - if the father-in-law and mother-in-law have good partnerships, and the daughter-in-law somehow hurts the interests of the mother-in-law. Then the father-in-law, naturally, will protect his precious from the encroachments of a younger woman.

If the father-in-law is attracted to the daughter-in-law, but he does not allow this thought into consciousness, since such a relationship is taboo by society as indirect incest, the subconscious attraction will manifest itself with irritation and anger. Especially if the daughter-in-law herself provokes the interest of the father-in-law. Many young women do not think that their father-in-law is also a man, and they run from the bedroom to the bathroom in a light robe on their naked body. If the young wife does not have a father (parents are divorced or the father died long ago), then she will look for him in her father-in-law, and unconsciously seduce him, just like many girls do with dad.

He realizes his interest and does not hide the relationship between the father-in-law and the young daughter-in-law. Yes, this also happens, and not so rarely. As a systemic family psychotherapist, I want to emphasize that such a situation can arise only under certain conditions prevailing in the family system, which includes both a small family of young people and the entire family clan. From how the father-in-law and mother-in-law interacted with each other all the years of their life together, how they experienced family crises (the birth of a son, his socialization, puberty, his "departure from the nest"), what feelings they experienced when left alone with each other when the son has grown. It all depends on whether the father-in-law can have a male interest in the daughter-in-law and any love relationships between the father-in-law and the young daughter-in-law.

If the father-in-law and mother-in-law have a good partnership, if they psychologically agreed to grow old together, then it is unlikely that he will be carried away by his daughter-in-law. A henpecked person who dreams of breaking free from the strong embrace of his manipulative wife can lay eyes on his daughter-in-law simply out of a sense of protest.

Besides, it is important at what stage of life the man himself is. He's probably already gone through a midlife crisis, and, perhaps, is entering the male climax - it all depends on the type of his sexuality, early or late maturation. Is the climax a decrease in potency?

Not only and not so much a decrease in potency, but an existential crisis, the realization that old age is not far off, and hence death. Let's say the father-in-law is already experiencing menopause, which means that he needs to prove to himself and to those around him (including his son) that he is still oh-ho-ho!

Is there an element of competition with your son in this situation? Of course. On the one hand, the father perceives his son as an extension of himself and thinks: since my son chose this woman, then there is something in her. Unlike his mother-in-law, he is able to appreciate not only the culinary and household talents of the daughter-in-law, but also her feminine qualities. In addition, parents tend to project their unfulfilled dreams, unlived life onto their children. He looks at his daughter-in-law and wonders: would he like to have such a wife? Or maybe the wife was like that, but 30 years ago ... It's not far from dangerous thoughts and any relationship between the father-in-law and the young daughter-in-law. But isn't the father intimidated by the sheer tinge of incest in this situation? Everything related to sexual relations with close relatives (after all, a daughter-in-law is almost a daughter) is strictly taboo in society!

Moreover, in many countries there are corresponding laws on the relationship between a father-in-law and a young daughter-in-law. For example, in Britain, marriage between a woman and her ex-father-in-law is prohibited by law while the ex-husband is alive. The same goes for marriages between a former son-in-law and a mother-in-law. But recently one couple, a 60-year-old man and his 40-year-old ex-daughter-in-law, were so persistent in their desire to get married that they reached the Strasbourg court and received permission to marry. The son did not work out with this woman, but everything worked out great for the father with her. By the way, this case illustrates a situation when the daughter-in-law herself reaches out to her father-in-law. A young husband is only a promise, a sketch of a man, while next to him there is an already formed, experienced man who knows what he wants from a woman and from life. On this subject, there is a wonderful film "Damage" with Juliette Binoche in the title role - about the passion that gripped a high-ranking middle-aged politician and his son's fiancée. He is about many things at once.

At first, that sexual passion and relations between a father-in-law and a young daughter-in-law (albeit a potential one) can be experienced and shown not only by a person of low culture. A middle-aged man, carried away by feelings, is able, disregarding all prohibitions and taboos, to say to himself: “Everything is just beginning for my son, everything is still ahead of him. My life is already half-lived. Now I love and want to realize my love. This is my life, and no one will stop me from living it the way I want. "

Secondly, here we are talking about how we idealize our parents. For his son, his father's act turned out to be something incredible, he experienced a shock and, unable to bear the disappointment in the ideal, committed suicide. You should always remember that parents are people just like us, they also have their weaknesses, and they are also capable of great passion. It has now occurred to me that anecdotes about the daughter-in-law and father-in-law (as, by the way, about the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law), perhaps, are not composed also because this topic is too painful, too taboo to laugh at.

But probably, are other, "soft" variants of mutual sympathy of the father-in-law and daughter-in-law possible? For example, they may have common interests. I remember the story of some acquaintances. When the young man brought home to introduce his girlfriend, her father really liked her. He was a highly educated person, a professor, absent-minded, always hovering in the clouds. His wife devoted herself to the house, was not distinguished by high intelligence and did not pay attention to how she looked.

It is not surprising that the professor liked the young, beautiful, and most importantly, smart girl. They sat for hours in the living room and discussed the problems of globalization, the development of world cultures - in a word, topics that the professor could never talk about with his wife. He even told his son that the girl was good-looking, complimented her. I think if the young couple had not split up, but got married, the professor's relationship with the daughter-in-law would have been ideal, but the mother-in-law might have been jealous.

Another example. There is one “outcast” in the family: the father-in-law. He divorced his wife long ago, broke off relations with his mother (and now his mother lives with her daughter-in-law, that is, mother-in-law). This person also does not maintain a relationship with his son. But once a year, on her daughter-in-law's birthday, he always appears at her doorstep, dressed up, with a bouquet of flowers and a $ 100 bill in an envelope.

She accepts these gifts, with her husband translates everything into a joke - they say, $ 100 will never hurt. I think the motives in the relationship between the father-in-law and the young daughter-in-law are mixed: there is a desire to annoy all those close to you, and competition with his son, and, possibly, sympathy for the daughter-in-law. Let's get back to the reader's letter. She asks for advice on how to behave so that a conflict does not break out ... People often try to avoid conflict, believing that it is bad. However, conflict is also closeness, albeit with a minus sign. It is necessary to clarify the relationship.

First of all, you should discuss the situation with your husband. His reaction depends on how their relationship with their father was built. If he idealizes his father, he will be shocked and may not believe his daughter-in-law. But in any case, it needs to be discussed. In addition, it is worth starting to build clearer boundaries - your own and your small family. She has the right to feel what she feels, think what she thinks, live her life as she sees fit, and not feel guilty about it.

“I don’t impose anything on you, but you don’t impose anything on me either,” - this should be her position, both in this situation and in relations with her husband's parents and with people in general. Perhaps it is worth talking to the father-in-law himself. But all these are temporary measures, you need to insist on settling separately.

However, it all depends on what kind of relationship in the family. However, the conflict will benefit everyone - something will change, it will flow differently. There is no point in hiding skeletons in a closet - sooner or later they will still have to be taken out.

Having put her son to bed, she threw off her shirt, and ducked into bed with her husband. Misha, as usual, dug a kiss into his wife's plump lips and, having fluently fumbled over her collapsed breasts, slid his palm down over her shuddering belly. Having barely penetrated his wife's cave with his finger, he was surprised that his wife had been running out of love juice for a long time.

No need, Misha ... - she whispered hotly in the night, - come into me soon!

The story with her father-in-law, which scared her so much during the day, now, alone with her husband, served as a catalyst for sex that requires immediate gratification.

The wife's excitement was immediately transmitted to her husband, and his cock instantly stretched along her naked thigh. Misha hovered over Svetlana, with her legs spread wide, and putting the tight head of his average bolt to her sweet crevice, gently slid inside.
- Oh-oh-oh-h! - breathed a young woman, and immediately twitched her booty greedily, unable to restrain herself any longer.

The man glided with pleasure inside the hot cave, and Sveta simultaneously met his desired movements with the lower abdomen. It took only a few sweet minutes of fucking ... She suddenly thought that it was not her beloved husband who was fucking her, but somehow the insatiable father-in-law plunged into her pussy to the full depth, reaching right to the uterus ... From all these thoughts Sveta froze, not unable to restrain herself, she moaned for a long time and huddled under her husband's body in convulsions of a powerful orgasm.

Misha, feeling a pleasant grip of a member of his wife's vagina, accelerated the rhythm, caught up with Svetlana, and jumping out of her sweet slit, he also groaned. Hot seed poured in jerks, generously watering the belly and shaggy pussy of his wife ...

The hot bodies lay down beside him, breathing heavily in the darkness.
- It was so good, not to convey! - said Misha, - And what is it that suddenly came over you today? ..
- I don’t know ... I probably missed you! - Svetlana lied.

At the opposite wall, Alyosha suddenly burst into tears, and Sveta ran to him ...

And at this time, behind a thin partition on his bed, Pyotr Ivanovich was lying, and listening attentively to the creak of the couple's matrimonial bed and their sweet sighs, he was nibbling his bolt.
As soon as he heard the long groan of his daughter-in-law, who, like a decoder, revealed what had happened, the man increased the speed, firing his fist like a good pump.

Muscles tightened sweetly in the lower abdomen, and the accumulated sperm burst out at once, splattering the stray blanket. With an effort of will, Ivanovich suppressed a cry that was torn from within, and fell silent, slowly diving into a deservedly earned, sweet dream ...

The next two days passed calmly for Svetlana. Ivanovich did not show any interest in her, it seemed, and the woman calmed down.
But the next morning showed the illusion of all her hopes!

The father-in-law appeared on the threshold of the kitchen in a dressing gown, which was not there before. He sat down in a businesslike chair, brushed his thin hair back with his five hands, and said to his daughter-in-law, who was busy at the table:
- You earned something early in the morning, blue ... Sit down! - he pointed with his eyes down.

Sveta obediently approached and began to sit down on her father-in-law's lap. The moment she turned away, the flaps of his dressing gown suddenly parted, flashing naked and, suspecting nothing of Sveta, sat down in the dressing gown on his naked body.

Get up a little, I crushed the balls! - suddenly said the father-in-law. Sveta rose a little and Pyotr Ivanovich, suddenly lifting up her dressing gown, pressed the daughter-in-law's pelvis down.

The young woman flopped, suddenly feeling with her thighs that she was sitting on the naked body of a man!
- Oh, dad! - Svetlana screamed, trying to jump off.
But the old horseradish held her wide pelvis securely.
- Nothing, nicho docha! Let's rub a little, like last time ... - he "reassured" her. - You still want to stay with me?

The daughter-in-law became quiet, but ... felt the growing pressure from below!
- You spread your legs, and release my mischievous person! See how hard it is for him!
Sveta hesitated.
- Well! the old man ordered menacingly.
The daughter-in-law, frightened, shifted her ass and moved her leg to the side. Having gained strength, Ivanovich's bolt rose elastically, finding itself between her thighs.

Well, another calico! - the owner said enough, - And you squeeze the legs more tightly ... Now you can!

Sveta obediently squeezed her legs, squeezing her father-in-law, who had gained strength, with her hot hips. Her lowered robe carefully covered this shameless picture, but the owner did not like it!

You are a robe, something! What now ... It's overfired with us, you won't get cold! - he bent his own and, looking at the Light, his eyes flashed evilly.
She doomedly untied her belt, and the old man happily pushed him to the floor.

Oh, and you are beautiful, Svetka! - embracing her around the waist, Ivanovich assessed, shaking, as if weighing, with the other hand her full, swollen chest.
The light from such an intimate caress her father-in-law blushed deeply.
Pyotr Ivanovich straightened his penis, squeezed by his daughter-in-law's thighs, pressing it tightly to her crotch, covered only by tight panties.

Well, now, docha, pull your ass to and fro! Make your daddy happy!

Svetlana leaned her hands on the back of a chair and a table, and began rubbing a considerable penis of her father-in-law, slightly rising and again sitting down on his knees with her bare hips.
She suddenly and involuntarily started up, carrying out the will of Ivanovich. A hard penis, sliding a dark crimson prick on her thin panties, caused an irresistible desire ... Her heavy breasts, slightly sagging from milk, swayed enticingly, threatening to drive her partner crazy.

Grasping her wide basin with greedy palms, Ivanovich, satisfied, regulated the course of the process.

Svetlana suddenly felt that she was flowing, and her panties got wet.
- No, dad! No!!! It’s wrong! ”She screamed, suddenly jumped up and ran to her room.
- Nothing, nicho docha! You will get used to it! - the father-in-law said after her.

He took a small remote control from the pocket of his robe, pressed a button and stopped the video recording.
Pyotr Ivanovich, a former employee of the research institute, was at YOU with advanced technologies, and was well versed in such trifles as a video camera and a computer.
Taking a video eyelet off the shelf, the size of a small button, he put it in his pocket.

It will be necessary to settle accounts with Kolyan afterwards, to buy a bubble for him ... A former colleague came to the rescue! - thought Ivanovich and bristled with satisfaction ...
- Nothing, nothing - will not lose anything from you! You will get used to it! Ivanovich threw after her. - But in what mansions do you live! ..