Fitness and healthy lifestyle 

Left home where to go. I want to leave my home, what should I do

I am 14 years old, I am in a prosperous family, but I often quarrel with my parents ... I have no more strength, I want to leave home, I don’t need to write like “you have this age, don’t, mom loves you” I know! I want freedom, I want not to depend on anyone! I want to live alone, literally when someone comes into my room I start to get mad, I don’t even go to the kitchen when someone is sitting there, everyone enrages me, I would only live separately for a month, refresh head, but damn, where am I going? Summer, all friends have left. I just don’t have the strength ...
Rate:

Alina, age: 14 / 22.06.2012

Feedback:

I want, I want, I want ... It all sounds very capricious. Do not be mad, but get up in the morning at 5 o'clock in the morning and go for a walk and think about yourself. In general, I think it's not easy for your family to be with you. Go to the kitchen to wash the dishes after you, do not be offended, but your loved ones have somehow dismissed you.

Olga, age: 51 / 23.06.2012

Hello Alina!

My name is Tina, I’m twice your age and, like many other people in my teens, I had problems with understanding with my parents.
You write that you want freedom, you want independence, that you don't need to write to you about your age.
But what is freedom? Freedom from what interests you? From parents? From responsibilities? But I understand that you have no particular responsibilities. It seems that you are used to getting everything from life, the world at your feet and so on.
If you want to become free and independent, then, first of all, formulate for yourself how this should be expressed. After all, a correctly set task is 90% of success. Further: it's summer now, get a job, earn YOURSELF, feed yourself YOURSELF, dress yourself YOURSELF. Freedom for parental money, this is not freedom, right?;)
If you really want to leave home, go on some kind of expedition with the same Restavros, for example, or General Deed.
In addition, you must formulate for yourself what exactly infuriates and annoys you in relations with your parents. And if you are already claiming freedom, then in an adult way talk about it with your parents. Perhaps when they understand that you have a head on your shoulders, they will treat you differently, they will begin to point less. If you just get into a pose and are unable to reasonably talk to them, then, of course, in anxiety for you, they grab their heads. The topic you have touched upon is extremely deep and complex. But in a nutshell, I have already given you practical advice.
And finally ... if you at least respect Christianity, then listen to the Savior. Our loved ones expose our spiritual ulcers. The problem is always with us, not with those around us. People - often act as instruments in the hands of God and you must understand that through your loved ones the Lord teaches you and calls you to Himself.
All the best to you, dear girl, and God help you!

Tina, age: 28 / 25.06.2012

Alina, relationships with parents are not always easy. And your age is, indeed, such when you want a little more independence, but your parents may not allow it. Many parents, especially mothers, sometimes worry too much about their children. But let's try to forgive them for this property? Agree, they did so much for you, they forgave you so much! The best way to resolve all conflicts and omissions is to have a calm, polite conversation with your parents about what you would like. They may not immediately hear and understand you, but believe the experience of many, kindness, attentiveness and calmness work wonders. And try not only to prove your case, but also to listen to the advice of your parents, try to put yourself in their place.
And you can really leave for a while in order to put your thoughts in order. At the same time, you will have time to miss your parents!;) Go to a summer camp for children or visit relatives or good friends. Just leave without a quarrel, just say: "Mom-Dad, I really want to go to the sea to the camp!" or "I haven't seen my second cousin for so long, I want to visit her."

Kira, age: 23 / 26.06.2012

Alinka ... you are mad, as you said yourself. Because your head and all other parts of the soul and body are now controlled by the very real IMPOSITES. Each person should be worthy of their own freedom, you know? And you are still completely unworthy of her - forgive me please. You were allowed into this life; they gave a roof over their heads; feeding, dressing, I suppose, like a doll ... and such ingratitude. Have you done anything good to anyone in your life ?! - even if you don't honor and value your parents ?! I advise you to watch the movie "Yarik". Just watch to the very end! - and after all, there the child, not of his own free will, fell into such a "freedom" ... Give reason and God save you!

Tatiana, age: 56 years old / 07.07.2012

Hold on to me as well as you can.

ANYA, age: 14 / 11.10.2012

Where are you going? You’re at that age right now - you’re growing up, your mood swings and your period. You need your mom's help, and do not think that you will leave and everything will be fine. Think about those who love you don't do stupid things.

Dasha, age: 24 / 13.10.2012

HOW DO I UNDERSTAND YOU !!! I quarrel with my parents all the time !!!
my friends !!! they help me so much! I cry every day and curse everything !!! when my mother hits me, I have
huge bruises remain ... she does not know how to calculate her strength !!! I have a sister who is 4 years old, and
my mother swears so much in front of her that my ears are bleeding !!!

Ira, age: 12/04/2013

How do I understand you: * I also very much want to leave (I no longer want to live with them - this is not possible. Oooh how bad I am ((

tanya, age: 06/25/2013

As if I wrote ...
it turns out I'm not the only one, at least something pleases

veronica, age: 14/20/2014

Come to your parents! And everything will be fine because they love you !!!

Maria, age: 12/05/2016

How can I understand you. Only my friends save me ... and that's all. Everything pisses me off. When I leave school, I want to go anywhere but home. And if I'm at home, then I sit in my room all the time. On weekends, I go out to my friends for a walk. In the summer I also go for a walk, then I go to the library or to the park for a walk ... just at the age of 13 or 14 I want peace, relaxation, so that they would understand how difficult it is at that age.
Nothing, I think everything will be okay.

Valeria, age: 03/14/2018

I also sometimes have the thought of leaving home, but I have to get myself together and think it over carefully, if it's too bad for you to walk alone with the music, or just take a pen and a sheet of white paper and write everything you feel there. Maybe then you will understand that there are families where it is much more difficult for children. And think, if your parents do not love you, then why do they need you ?! They could just give up on you and that's it ...
They just love you very much and are worried, because they understand that you are already growing up and not today, so tomorrow you will leave them!)
And before jumping to conclusions, think about your parents, and not just about yourself.

As a person grows up, he begins to dream of an independent life. Parental attention and custody do not seem so pleasant anymore. In addition, looking at their peers who have been leading an active life for a long time, young people are increasingly wondering how to leave their parents' home.

Understand yourself

Many people wonder how to leave home, guided by the example of their friends or stereotypical thinking. But before you jump into action, think about whether you really want to. You must be aware of the following things:

  • You will live alone (unless, of course, you rent an apartment with friends or a significant other). Traditional conversations, sitting in front of the TV, family dinners will not be available to you.
  • You will have to pay on your own not only for housing, but also for food, hygiene items, clothing and much more. Are you wealthy enough for this?
  • The entire burden of housework will also fall on your shoulders. Before leaving home, you need to understand whether you are able to solve everyday problems. Cleaning, washing, cooking - from now on you will have to do all this yourself.

If there are no problems with finances, and everyday issues do not scare you, you might well think about living on your own.

Talking to parents

Before leaving home, you need to have a thorough conversation with all family members. You need to carefully prepare for this event and set yourself up for the fact that your initiative may be perceived negatively. The conversation script should be something like this:

  • Start by talking about how much you love your family and how important a warm and strong relationship is to you.
  • Next, carefully lead to the fact that you are an adult who should not be burdened with your loved ones.
  • Try to argue in your favor. For example, you already earn a lot, and you can also take care of yourself at home.
  • Explain to your family that leaving your home does not mean breaking up your family relationship. Promise that you will see each other often.
  • Naturally, you need to give the floor to each of the family members.

How do you prepare your parents for your move?

Say "I want to leave home!" and banging your fist on the table is the wrong decision. Put yourself in the shoes of your family to see how difficult it is for them to accept this situation. To prepare loved ones for your move, you can do the following:

  • Become a business person. Do your own laundry and ironing. Clean your own room and even cook your own food. Firstly, you will take the burden off your relatives, and secondly, you will prove your independence.
  • Try to spend less time at home. Try to stay overnight with friends sometimes. If you receive any offer for a short business or leisure trip, be sure to agree.
  • In the course of family conversations, casually think about your acquaintances who are already living on their own.

Ask for help

Parents are extremely painful when their child has left home. Even if he is already 20, 30 or as much as 40 years old, they want to give him their love and take care of him in every possible way. Therefore, try to mitigate the shock of your move as much as possible. For example, ask your family for help. This can be a search for housing, renovation, home improvement. Perhaps even some financial help from your parents can be accepted as a contribution to your new life.

However, parents sometimes try to keep their children at home by blackmailing them with finances. A confrontation arises: children are trying to prove something, but it does not always end well. If you are unsure of your ability to cover even the minimum costs, postpone the move.

Where to leave home

When all organizational problems have been resolved, it is time to decide on the place of future residence. Of course, the easiest thing is for young people who have just graduated from school. The main thing is to choose a suitable university in another locality, and for the next few years the problem of housing (dormitory) will be solved.

Buying their own apartment is rarely available to young people. And not everyone can handle the lease. If you are determined to rent your own home, but you do not have enough funds, try partnering with one of your friends. Together, it will be easier to solve financial issues, and it will also be easier to equip life, organize leisure.

If you have financial troubles, but an independent life is your dream, try to carefully study job search sites. For example, during the holiday season, many hotels, boarding houses and sanatoriums offer temporary jobs with the provision of accommodation. True, for this you will most likely have to move to another city, but this will allow you to feel even deeper all the delights and disadvantages of an independent life.

If everything is in order both with money and with mutual understanding, it's up to a little. There should be two criteria for choosing a home: proximity to the parental home and a convenient location relative to your place of work.

Sometimes it becomes a real tragedy for parents if a daughter or son leaves home. Someone silently experiences this problem, and someone begins to blackmail an adult child and reproach him for his loneliness. Such parents are encouraged to remember their youth. Surely maximalism was also raging in you, you dreamed of career achievements and creating your own family. Agree that it is much easier to build a romantic relationship without parental supervision. In addition, a person should always have a chance for self-realization. If you tie your children to you, you run the risk of making them unhappy. Sooner or later, they will blame you for all their failures.

Conclusion

How to leave home and live on your own? This is a difficult question that requires an individual approach. It will be easier for young people from complete families, where, moreover, there are younger brothers and sisters. But what if you are your parents' only consolation? Of course, this does not bind you to them for life. You just have to show more delicacy and understanding. Your parents will only be happy if you find a strong and loving family, reliable friends, and also achieve success in your work.

I want to leave home or commit suicide. I'm already tired of living. Nobody supports me, nobody talks to me, nobody talks to me until I come up myself. My parents don't respect me, they swear and yell. My health has already deteriorated from screams and quarrels, my nerves can not stand it. The people and the environment around me oppress me. Life has ceased to make sense, it seems to me that if I die, no one will notice. Every day is like hard labor, nothing new, funny, only sadness and a lump in my soul. Constant depression. Everyone says that no one needs me, that I will not achieve anything in life, and when I achieve something, nothing changes. Help!
Support the site:

Maxim, age: 14 / 25.06.2017

Feedback:

Maxim, do not despair, you still have everything ahead, you are still a young and strong guy, everything is in your hands, do not listen to anyone, go ahead, raise your head and go forward, to success and happiness, do not despair, everything depends only on you, you yourself gotta want ...

SuicideNo #, age: 06/26/2017

Maxim, this is just a transitional age, from this it seems that no one loves, does not pay attention, depressed mood, apathy, etc. Believe me, as time passes, you yourself will be surprised at your current state. Find a hobby, hobbies, part-time job so as not to get bored at home. Everything will work out over time. Good luck!

Irina, age: 06/26/2017

Hello Maxim. It's great that despite the lack of support, you still achieve victories. And what everyone says is not true. Even if everyone really speaks. They are people, not the Lord God, how do they know what will happen?
Try to distract yourself for now, spend more time in the fresh air, in the park, in nature. Perhaps communication can be found on the Internet, for common interests, for example. I understand you, I had little communication at school, in the future, at school and at work, the situation has changed dramatically, do not make hasty conclusions. Maybe you should try yourself in some kind of social events - garbage collection in parks / forests, tourist gatherings. Such things are very cure for depression, and organize a new circle of friends.
I wish you success and new victories!

Gata, age: 32 / 26.06.2017

Hello, Maxim!

It is very good that you wrote here and decided to talk about your problems. Feel free to talk about it not only on the Internet, but also in real life. Try talking to family members or a school counselor about your difficulties.

No need to run away from home. If you have no relatives to whom you could go, please don’t do it.

Maxim, don't think about suicide! You have the opportunity to build your own happy life, and after death you can't fix anything.

Ekaterina, age: 25 / 26.06.2017

Maxim, and you just stop expecting someone to talk, someone to support, etc. You are not small enough) to speak yourself, to support someone yourself, to help. Try it - you will see that they will start to perceive you differently. People respect those who themselves can do something for others.

Igor, age: 23 / 26.06.2017

Hey, Maxim, hello. Do not even think about suicide, because this world is ideal, yes, people are not ideal, parents, acquaintances, but trust me. Why are you listening to these people, why? in spite of them, achieve your goals, dream, strive, do not give up. I am also a teenager and I understand you. Stop being depressed, please. After all, if you die, your parents will be very bad, your friends. Your opinion is wrong. I hope I helped you somehow, and please, please don't do anything to yourself.

Lina, age: 14 / 27.06.2017

Hi, Maxim! I sympathize with you. Just do not despair. I know how hard it can be from misunderstanding and insults. But you have to be patient and try to establish contact with others. Let them not even start a conversation. Think why they don’t communicate with you. Maybe you need to change something in your behavior. I advise you, so as not to feel lonely, start caring for someone. Then you will start to feel the meaningfulness of life. Try to get some part-time job while summer to dispel depression. And do not be offended. on parents, it is better to always forgive them. This will make your life easier. Perhaps they are just tired or they have some problems. Or maybe they express their concern for you. The reasons may be different, but whatever they tell you , they love you anyway. So pay attention to them and your family will respond in kind) Smooth out the quarrels as much as possible and take care of your health. How about going somewhere to take a break if you are so tired of the reality around you?
If you do not have enough support, then look for it, many people are ready to help you) And you are great for writing here. Everyone has difficult periods in life, but suicide does not solve our problems. Always remember that when it is hard for you, you can turn to God) The Lord will never leave you and will always help, just ask Him for help more often) I wish you gaining the meaning of life, more patience and strength, good family relationships, academic success, good health, always good mood, happiness, more love, joy and peace in life and all the best! Hold on, God will help you! Guardian angel for you!

Anastasia, age: 06/30/2017


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Hello, my name is Sergey, I am 12 years old. I want to run away from home, because I can no longer live with my parents. This week I didn't go to school for 3 days (I'm in 6th grade).
And when my parents come, my mother will scold me, she will beat me with a belt, I’m sure of this, this is not the first time!
What should I do and take to leave home and start a new life ??
Rate:

Sergey, age: 12/12/2014

Feedback:

Hello Sergey! Your feelings are very clear to me. Many of us, at the same age as you, have experienced something similar. It is not easy, very difficult to be obedient. Generally in obedience, not
only from parents. We see many things in a different way, different from the point of view of the elders (or the main ones). And it was at this time, SO I want understanding, acceptance and help from the closest and dearest
people.
You just need to understand this.
New life. In a sense, this is good, but WHAT in your understanding relates to this and HOW will you realize this new life? For example, it's elementary for you, you will have to live somewhere. Have
Do you have such a place? You have to pay something for housing, as well as for the food that you will have to eat, for the clothes in which you will dress. Do you have funds? YOU will live alone
YOU will definitely have some other obligations (go to school, to work, etc.). Can you organize yourself? Establish your regime, carry out the assigned tasks on time (adult or
independent life is impossible without this)?
Here are a few questions that you should first have clear answers to. After all, you are making a fateful decision - you, as a man, must understand all the consequences of your step
and BE READY for them!
But besides, in order to have the correct direction of your actions, YOU must clearly understand whether your parents are right in the requirements that they put forward to you and, at times, fulfillment
which are achieved by all possible means for them (up to non-pedagogical, belt, for example)? ARE YOU 100% sure that your parents are wrong? Why do you think so? Do YOU ​​know
100% HOW should it be correct?
Answer all of these questions for yourself. If you are at a loss, find a good Orthodox priest and ask him (just such a person will be able to give you the correct answer. I know that)
And in conclusion, I will tell you my story.
At about your age, I also wanted to leave home. My parents did not understand, they beat me (and not only with a belt, although I am a girl), forced me to do what I did not want and did not consider necessary. AND
NOBODY, hear NOBODY, understood me. Neither aunt, nor uncle, nor grandmother, nor grandfather, but only demanded and demanded their own. HOW I was tired of all this !!! I had various complexes on this
soil (uncertainty and all that). At that time I was not a believer and did not even know that much could be solved differently, in the light of the Orthodox faith! And I ran away from home (I wanted freedom so much)
though not for long (on my return I was punished again). So the years passed ... Now I am 36 years old. At the age of 20, I learned the light of the Orthodox faith and the Love of God! Having studied and accepted the Orthodox view on
the existence of a person on this earth, I have for a LONG, VERY long time eradicated in myself resentment towards my parents, grandfather, grandmother, aunts, uncles. For what they did in their time towards me. AND
now I can firmly say that with God's help I was able to do it! I realized that even though they did wrong things (beat me, scolded me, etc.), they COULD NOT act differently !!!
They DIDN'T KNOW HOW to do it right! After all, almost no one teaches us the correct (from the point of view of God), and people adapt and live as best they can! And when I realized this, I felt that apart from resentment
(which lay on the surface of my heart), in me lives LOVE and UNDERSTANDING for all my close people - dad, mom, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles. After all, it is not easy for them, and not all of them even
truly religious people ...

And God will ask me, but HOW did I cope with the difficulties encountered on my way? Have I always acted correctly in relation to those close to me and those around me? And these questions are
still arise in my mind in those moments when I want to take offense or take offense at people ...

I wish you, Sergey, to understand today or tomorrow, but do you want to choose the right path? And be confident in your answer and ready to be responsible for all the consequences following your decision!
God help you!

Assistant, age: 36 / 11/17/2014

Hello, Sergey!

I understand that you are not easy and your mom is doing the wrong thing, but leaving home is not the best solution to your problem.
Think for a second, when you leave home, what's next? Will you go to another city to beg? There are two options, the first will be noticed by the police and after a while they will be sent
home, what next I think you can imagine. The second will come under the control of "bad people", and there are many options from sexual use, to participation in crimes, not one
the option does not bode well. Even if everything works out more or less and you stay alive and well, imagine yourself at 18 years old. There is no education, you do not know how to do anything, you can work either
A janitor or a handyman, you can't start a family, you can't buy your own home. In general, no future.
Of course, you can hope that along the way you will meet a good person and help you arrange your life. But believe me, the chances of this are very slim, a little more than counting on aliens,
who will come for you and save you.

When I was your age, I also thought about leaving home. But at first I thought I needed a passport first. Then I thought that I needed to get an education so that I could earn
for my life. And every time I was offended, I only tried harder to study better in order to finish school faster and better, go to university and leave for another city. And this
It worked. Now I am very glad that God stopped me and I did not leave home anywhere.
I advise you to follow the same path. Yes, this path is much more difficult than just taking and leaving in the hope that everything will work out by itself. But this path has a future (verified), just leaving home is
path to even greater problems.

I wish you patience and wisdom. God bless you!

Alexander, age: 29/17/2014

Sergei, while you are underage, you will not be able to live separately. The only option is an orphanage .. But I don't think this is a way out. In your case, as long as you remain completely dependent on your own
parents should choose the path of a diplomat. It is worth accepting the situation, you cannot fix your mother. Don't rebel. You need to go to school, the better education you get, the easier it is in life.
will be with work and money, and this already makes it possible to quickly start an independent life. But. If you do not go to school for some reason, for example, you are offended there or if the situation with
punishment with a belt is critical, then you should contact a psychologist at school or you can call the single all-Russian "helpline" for children.

Anya, age: 25/18/14/2014

Don't better stay at home

Kirill, age: 9/26/12/2015

Hi Seryozha!
I understand you your troubles with me in the same way, but I don’t run away from home, I kept thinking about it, but still I decided I don’t want to be a homeless person! I love my family. Yes, my mother wanted to send me to children
house then I really wanted to run away but changed my mind. And right now I live well because I began to endure!

I advise you to stay at home and obey and everything will be fine! Kiss. God bless you !!!

Lera, age: 11/02/2016

Bad business, Sergunya. Better go to school and obey more or less. At 12 years old, you will not be taken anywhere, because you are small. Suffer for another four years.

Lilya, age: 09/10/2016

Hello, Sergey!

Trust me, I understand you very much and I also want to escape from my home ... but I never dare to do this, because where can I live, how to eat and what to wear!

If you run away from home, you can get into an orphanage, I understand you that it is difficult to live under the authority of elders, I have a younger sister and because of her fault they scold me and beat me up they say that they do not
other children like to say better than you now I am writing this and I have tears because I also endure it sometimes I want to grow up as soon as possible and leave here!

Read carefully never anything and do not think about it! LIFE CAN GO EMPTY AND WE HAVE ONE ONE! I wish you to understand yourself and never suffer! BELIEVE IN GOD HE HEARS YOU !!!

Karina, age: 10/10/2016

Sergei!!! I advise you not to run anywhere. FSB services will find you anyway.
I myself ran almost to my grandfather's house.

Anonymous Anonymous Anonymous, age: 01/07/2017

Seryog, live with them until the age of 18, and then leave. It doesn't matter where to start a new life, the main thing is not to lie on the couch, but to achieve.

Tool, age: 04/03/2017

For example, I left my parents more than once and nothing good came of it. I advise you not to conflict with your parents and endure to the last. To start a life without parents in this crazy world, you need
tremendous willpower and courage. You should not leave your parents at least until adulthood, and then do as you see fit and do not rush! I was put in a madhouse 8 times and this is not the limit. There are lonely people who
they will never come out of madhouses, that is, they lie for life ... Why do you need this? Don't run away and forget. Here's my advice.

d31221, age: 34 / 06.24.2017

I understand you, my situation is the same. I want to leave home too, but I can't. They'll find me !!!

Anna, age: 12/07/2017

My name is Veronica I got sick of everything! My parents fight all the time! I can't live like this anymore !!! And I want to leave home

Veronica, age: 10/14/2017

How can I leave home My name is Dasha, I am 10 years old, my mother does not notice me at all, like I’m not, and always yells at me when I go to bed I cry into my pillow because I’m so tired of living that no one loves me it started then I turned 10 Mom makes me go to karate but I don’t want to go to a music school daddy doesn’t live with us

And yes, I'll tell you in advance how to escape from home.
First, you need to stock up on everything you need.
1 food
Bring bread, butter or peanut butter, some cookies, and a bar of milk chocolate with you (don't eat the chocolate right away, eat one bite every couple of months).
2.Money
You will need money if all food resources or others are also important.
If you are less than 14 years old, then you need to save at least 1,000 rubles. If you are 14 or more, then you can find a job, and take with you 2 times less.
3.Clothes.
Bring a supply of clothes with you in advance, and along with it a thread and a needle in a separate box. I think there is no need to explain anything here.
4.Self defense
Take with you something to protect yourself from any goats who want to kill or rape you. You can take a kitchen knife.
5 treatment
Collect a first aid kit in case you get injured (except for minor scratches)
6.Other
If you are a teenage girl, that is, if you are more than 10 years old and you are a girl and you paint, then be sure to take powder, corrector and mascara with you so that you will not be mistaken for a fugitive. Also take a comb and hair ties.
If you're a guy, just get a hairbrush.

Now you are financially prepared, let's move on to escape.
1. If it's winter now, wait for spring and warm days.
You probably don't want to freeze in the first days of your escape, and if you run away in pursuit of death, you can skip all this and stop reading.
2. Wait until everyone is asleep.
When everyone is asleep, start getting ready for the street, dress well, wash and comb your hair (girls, you still need to put on makeup -)
3. Run.
Now slowly leave the house and close the doors so that your absence is not immediately noticed.
Now go outside and go to the bus stop.
4. Bus.
Wait for the bus and go straight to the terminal.

Congratulations, you escaped and it is not so easy to find you now. Of course, it is advisable for you to leave for another nearest city, so that you will not be found for sure.
SURVIVING
1. Find a quiet place to live.
I will help with the choice.
You need to find a good, preferably crowded place and find a corner where people will not look. Most likely, no one will find you in the opening at a high-rise building. If you grab unnecessary things and a lot of cotton, sew a pillow.
2. Be prepared in advance that you may be robbed by homeless people.
Hide your money and weapons well, otherwise you will face serious problems.
3. Spare place.
You need a second, more secluded corner in case you are nearly found. If your search for your parents is almost successful, don't hesitate to move there right away.