The wife refuses to have sex with her husband. Is it possible to reason with her? What to do if the wife no longer loves her husband: signs that the spouse has fallen out of love The wife does not give her husband for a long time

21.08.2023

Regular and quality sex in marriage is a guarantee of strong relationships, good mood and sparkle in the eyes. The lack of intimacy brings discord into the union of a man and a woman, alienates the couple from each other. Usually, it is the spouse who refuses to have sex, forcing the husband to experience the pangs of abstinence and puzzle over the reasons for this behavior of his beloved. Why does the wife refuse intimacy, and how to fix the situation?

Why did the spouse stop having sex: reasons for refusal

The lack of sexual desire on the part of a woman can be affected by various factors. The most common of them are presented below. Read why your spouse stopped wanting to sleep with you and give you blowjobs, which affects the reluctance to suck and the lack of intimacy during pregnancy and after childbirth.

Lack of pleasure

The statistics say that For every 10 male orgasms, there are only 7 female ones.. Many women have never enjoyed sex with a man in their lives.

Physical intimacy without a long-awaited discharge does not bring any pleasure to a woman and does not cause the slightest desire to engage in it again and again.

At the initial stage of a relationship, girls often imitate pleasure during sex, even if it is not in sight. Over the years, the wife just gets tired of putting on an erotic performance every night, and in every possible way she shirks the fulfillment of her "duty".

Reference! There is another side of the coin: the wife discusses the problem of the lack of orgasm with her husband, but the husband does nothing to resolve the problem. In this case, the woman considers making love to her husband a waste of time.

Husband ignores foreplay

Surprisingly, many men are unaware of the importance of foreplay. After all, it is the prelude that helps a woman to relax, tune in to an erotic mood and how to get excited. This stage of sexual intimacy shows her that she is not indifferent to her partner, and he cares about her pleasure and comfort.

If the spouse, with the onset of an erection, immediately rushes into battle, not making sure that the partner is “ready”, sexual intercourse does not bring her any pleasure and can even cause pain and discomfort. This attitude discourages even the most temperamental woman from having sex with her husband.

Fatigue

The daily routine of a modern woman is full of urgent matters that take a lot of time and energy: work, household chores, shopping, cooking, childcare.

Sexual intimacy with her husband in such a frantic pace of life turns not into a moment of joy, but into an additional duty.

At the end of the day, the wife just wants to go to bed and instantly fall asleep., and her partner's hints of sex or his dissatisfaction with the long absence of intimacy only annoy her.

Lover

Very often, the wife does not give if she has a lover, and her sex life is already full without the participation of her legal husband. And if a woman has feelings for a man on the side, then having sex with her husband is considered as a betrayal of her beloved.

She is not physically attracted to her partner

Extra 15-20 kilograms do not affect male self-esteem, but sexual attractiveness in the eyes of a wife can be seriously shaken.

Sexual attraction is based on the external attractiveness of a partner - this is how nature itself came up with.

If the spouse has ceased to be an object of desire for the wife, it becomes more and more difficult to arouse her excitement and desire to make love.

Tightness of your body

Bulging belly, cellulite, stretch marks, a lot of excess weight - wife is embarrassed to undress in front of a loved one for fear that he will condemn her appearance. Often, even slender ladies without clothes feel vulnerable to a loved one, to say nothing of the presence of folds of fat.

Feelings have cooled down

If the relationship lasts for a long time, there will inevitably be a period of cooling. The wife no longer feels the former fireworks of emotions, and the daily routine that has been established over the years does not in any way contribute to excitement.

Resentment

Women are vulnerable creatures, and any carelessly thrown word or thoughtless act can discourage her desire to have sex. He offended and did not ask for forgiveness, did not help with household chores in time, forgot about the request - anything can cause resentment and lack of desire on her part.

Disease

There are diseases that provoke hormonal failure in the body. But it is hormones that are responsible for a woman's libido.

Also some pathologies of the reproductive system lead to the appearance of pain during sex.

Sexual desire is also negatively affected by common ailments like migraines or colds. Poor health may well be the reason for the rejection of sex.

Attention! If a previously temperamental wife, for no apparent reason, has ceased to want to have sex and give a blowjob, this is a reason to see a doctor.

What is a man to do?

You should not blame your wife for the current situation, since the lack of sexual desire in a woman is not her fault, but a consequence of the existing problems.

What do we have to do:

find out the reason. Guessing yourself about the real reasons for his wife's refusal to have sex will not work. The easiest thing to do is to ask her directly. The conversation should begin in private in a relaxed atmosphere, perhaps over a pleasant dinner or a glass of wine.
Don't complain or make accusations. When talking, you need to clarify that you care about her emotional state and want to establish sexual relations in order to improve family life.
Correct mistakes. If the conversation went well, the wife probably expressed the reasons for her coldness in bed. Whatever the reasons for refusing sex, you should analyze your behavior and take steps to solve the problem.
Take some of the responsibilities off her.. To give your wife more time to relax, you need to take on some household chores: cleaning the apartment, taking care of the children, and at least taking out the garbage. The wife will certainly appreciate such an impulse.
take care of yourself. Make a new hairstyle, sign up for a gym, change your style of dress - pleasant changes will arouse interest in your wife, make your husband more attractive in her eyes.
Pamper and give her attention. Flowers, gifts, compliments - all this will let the wife know that she is loved and desired. Often, a man stops paying attention to his partner as soon as the candy-bouquet period in a relationship ends.
However, it is precisely such trifles as a bouquet of flowers, massage and cute gifts that give a woman a feeling of happiness and love. A satisfied wife rarely refuses to please her husband with sex or oral sex.
Diversify your sex life. Over the years, sex begins to look like a mechanical performance of "marital duty" and becomes a rather boring activity. In order for intimacy to turn from everyday life into a long-awaited event for a wife, you need to make a difference: oral caresses from the husband, new interesting poses, a long sensual foreplay.
It will not be superfluous to ask your wife what exactly she wants in bed, ask her about erotic fantasies and bring them to life.

Important! A romantic trip together or just a weekend getaway in a hotel or out of town will help rekindle the fire in a relationship.

Intimacy and the appearance of children

A loving mother often puts her child to sleep right on the matrimonial bed so that it is convenient to soothe and feed the child at night.

Sleeping a baby with parents negatively affects intimate relationships, especially when a child sleeps between parents.

Naturally, co-sleeping does not involve sex, as the erotic games of parents can wake up and scare the child. The child in this case acts as a wall between spouses, which can lead to discord not only in sex, but also in relationships.

The baby should be put to sleep in a separate bed and the child should be moved to another room when he grows up.

If the pregnant woman does not give

During pregnancy, a woman's body undergoes powerful hormonal changes., which leaves its mark on the libido. Hormones also affect the mood: the wife becomes capricious, picky, more often offended by trifles than before. Also, during the period of bearing a child, a woman often experiences ailments that do not in any way contribute to the arousal of sexual desire.

Sometimes a doctor forbids a pregnant wife to have sex with her husband for medical reasons, and the wife evades intimacy with her partner, fearing to upset or scare him.

Some pregnant women, due to low awareness, are afraid to have sex because they are sure that sexual intercourse harms the unborn child. To solve the problem, you need to go with your wife to an appointment with a gynecologist who will dispel the woman's fears or explain to her husband the reasons for the ban on sexual relations.

A woman does not want intimacy after childbirth

After childbirth, as well as during pregnancy, the hormonal background of a woman is constantly changing and leaves an imprint on the couple's sex life. But even after the hormones stabilize, the wife may refuse to sleep with you.

More often than others, women lose their sexual desire after childbirth, for whom pregnancy was very difficult and during childbirth they experienced unbearable suffering and pain.

A woman is simply afraid of getting pregnant again and again go through the difficulties of pregnancy and labor pains. Reluctance can also be associated with a fear of pain during intercourse after tears received during childbirth. In this case, you can, together with your spouse, seek advice from a sexologist.

The lack of intimacy in family life is a disaster for a man, while a woman can feel quite normal without regular sex. It is impossible to solve the problem with scandals and reproaches - this will only aggravate the situation. A wife's reluctance to sleep with her husband is usually the result of more serious family problems that need to be addressed together.

In matters of love, people become vulnerable and vulnerable. When it comes to feelings, a person is quite easy to offend, offend. And this happens not at all on purpose, not intentionally, but by chance, under the influence of emotions. Many men literally go crazy with despair and come to see a psychologist with one - the only question: what to do if the wife does not love her husband?

One can imagine the whole heavy range of feelings experienced by a person whose feelings were trampled on, rejected by his wife. This is such a difficult condition that sometimes life loses its value, the very meaning goes away. If a divorce enters a family where love and understanding used to reign, it hurts doubly. However, it also happens that two people live under the same roof out of habit. If there is no love on one side only, then the other partner is forced to suffer. This article considers the case when the wife is largely estranged from her husband. How to behave to a rejected spouse?

Try to accept the situation. The tactics of a man's behavior will largely depend on his character and temperament. But in the case when the relationship is already completely destroyed and there is no point in fighting for the restoration of relations, one should accept the fact of the past as soon as possible and start a new life. There is no need to waste time with a person who does not want to know you or continue a relationship that destroys both. Feelings should inspire new achievements, lead forward, contribute to the development of the individual. When emotions are so exhausting that there is no strength left for a full life, then the need for such a relationship needs to be reconsidered.
Admit your mistakes. As a rule, any relationship comes to an end when there is no sincerity and originality in them. In order for love to constantly grow and develop, it needs emotional nourishment. And where to get it if the spouses do not have common interests? If the relationship is at an impasse, look back at yourself: perhaps you paid insufficient attention to your soul mate? Admit your wrong openly, indicate your intention to save the family. Perhaps you will be heard.
Become an interesting person. A person can be interesting to someone only if he is interesting to himself. If your wife does not love you, and you know it for sure, take care of yourself! Do something for yourself, no matter what your spouse does not appreciate. But you will know that you are capable of much. And perhaps, after several significant victories, the beloved woman will come to her senses and look at you with new eyes.

When the family ship cracks, you must first try to save feelings. Unfortunately, this is not always possible. An important role is played by the presence of a spiritual connection between people, common interests, views.

Hello dear men! Understanding the feelings of a wife is not always easy and easy. It seems she is angry and swears, but in fact she loves to the core. And sometimes, on the contrary, she does not scandalize and behaves calmly, but she has already cooled down and does not have any feelings for you. The topic of today's article: how to understand the female soul, what to do if the wife does not love her husband, the signs and reasons for such an outcome.

I want to bring to your attention a book that will help you understand your feelings and the feelings of your wife, refresh your memory of the period of falling in love and, perhaps, help you look at your spouse with a new look - Helen Fisher Why do we love».

anxiety symptoms

Broken heart.

It is impossible to live in harmony all the time. Even the ideal and happy couple has moments of quarrels, difficulties and disagreements. But why do some manage to go through all the obstacles and again, while others fail to make contact? Love. She is the one who works wonders.

When both partners love each other and are ready to compromise, work on themselves and on relationships, then everything will definitely work out and work out. But it is worth one of the spouses to lower their hands and step aside, like. Today I will tell you what signs will tell you that your wife has cooled off.

If you cannot find answers to some questions that are very important to you and are afraid that the problems that have arisen cannot be solved, sign up for a Skype consultation with me.

Bed

A sure sign of cooled feelings is a cold bed. Of course, couples with a long history of family life are less likely to give themselves to love pleasures, but they still exist. And when you can’t even remember the last time, it’s worth considering whether everything is as good as it seems.

A woman who does not have any feelings for a man will come up with excuses. She doesn't want to be intimate with him. Therefore, if your spouse, who has long ceased to flirt with you, does not show any female activity, then this is a clear bell of her cooling feelings for you.

Attention and care

In a normal, healthy relationship, spouses take care of each other and help and support in every possible way. When there are no feelings, then there is no desire to show attention either. A person begins to seem like a stranger, and there is no desire to take care of a stranger.

She does not ask how you are, she is not interested in your life. For her, there are only her needs and desires. She spends all her time on herself. And for children, if any. She no longer works for you. She doesn't care about this issue.

Respect and trust

I always say that these are the two pillars of a happy family life. Therefore, if you notice disrespectful treatment and behavior from your spouse to yourself, then this is a clear sign of her alienation.

And about trust, the question here is as follows - a woman doesn’t care about a man, it doesn’t matter where he is, with whom, how he spends time, what he does. She is losing interest. Therefore, he does not arrange questions with predilection, does not call every five minutes, is not interested in why he was late.

Scandals and tantrums

The flip side of indifference is a splash of negative emotions on you. She will constantly reproach, talk about yours, see only the bad in everything, she will not like everything and it is impossible to please such a woman.

She will throw out all her negative emotions on you. The day didn’t work out - you are to blame, if you broke your nail - you are to blame, your friend didn’t come to the meeting - you again. And so on ad infinitum. In everything she sees you as guilty and involved in her troubles and misfortunes.

Avoidance of communication

Another sign - she does not want to communicate. He tries to go to bed before you arrive, gets up later than you when you have already left for work. At all . She no longer wants to intersect and communicate.

Is there a way out

If you noticed only one of the signs in your beloved wife, then you should not immediately think that everything is bad and it's time to disperse. Every couple goes through different periods. It is human nature to doubt sometimes. So, one of the spouses may think about whether he made the right choice at the time, whether he builds his “happily ever after” with the right person.

Such a period can be considered a test of your feelings. And if you solve problems together, provide the necessary support, talk honestly and openly, share your thoughts, fears, desires and plans, then you will overcome everything. The main thing is together.

But if you found a lot of symptoms, then you need to think about what to do next and what to do. First of all, I advise you to read the article "". After all, sometimes on emotions we decide to take such a step. Just break everything and burn bridges. Believe me, this is not an option. Especially if there are still feelings and you can save your relationship.

If she does not leave, then there is still an opportunity to become happy again. Don't expect changes from your spouse. Start with yourself. I'm not saying that only a man should act and change something. But waiting for change from another person is stupid and useless. Start acting yourself.

Change your relationship with your spouse. Try again. Do to her, invite her on dates, flirt with her too. You will not even notice how it will blossom and become completely different.

Sign up for a Skype consultation with me and together we will find a way out of this situation.

Remember that in many ways a woman is a reflection of her man. Change your attitude towards her. Remember that girl you fell in love with once and try to bring freshness into your relationship.

What symptoms did you find in your wife? How can you check if there is still a chance to fix everything? When was the last time you told your wife that you love her?

Be a brave and strong man who is ready to do anything for his woman.
Good luck to you!

For sex to be not a duty, but a mutual desire, it is important for a woman to feel that only she is desirable for her man. This is achieved not in beauty salons and fitness clubs. The emotional connection between husband and wife is what keeps each other warm.

“I’m tired, my head hurts, get up early, eat garlic, wake up the child!” The number of her excuses is growing every day. The wife does not want sex, and I climb the wall.

A man is a desire for a woman. What if there is no response from her to his desire?

The first step to solving the problem is to understand why the wife lost her desire for sex. Let's consider the main unconscious reasons for a woman's indifference to sex and determine what her husband should do to correct the situation. In this article, you will learn how to return passion and mutual pleasure from each other to the family, not only during sex, but always.

Sex in exchange for security

System-vector psychology reveals the basics of relationships: a man just wants a woman because he gets a guaranteed orgasm. And at the heart of a woman's desire for a man is a sense of security and security.

Sex seems to be taken for granted in a couple. But if you dig into the roots of human civilization, it is obvious that a man never got the right to possess a woman just like that. He mined a mammoth, invented new tools, built bridges, developed territories, created comfort for a woman. By doing this, he “earned” his right to a woman, to extend his gene pool, the right to have a wife and have sex. Call a woman pragmatic and prudent, but her psyche has a desire to feed herself and her offspring. And it moves all mankind to development.

And today, regardless of whether the husband provides for his wife or she herself earns a decent income, in the depths of the structure of the female psyche is the desire to be under male protection. Satisfying this female desire is the key to how to increase a woman's libido.

For a man - “the first thing is airplanes”, that is, the worthy fulfillment of his specific role in society. A woman unconsciously reads these abilities, and such a man is attractive to her, she dreams of having sex with this hero, who, if not saving the world, then definitely gets a mammoth.

It is in the power of any realized man to provide a woman with a sense of security and safety. And if it is not there, then instead of a desire for sex, a woman has shame for her man and fear for herself and her children. And it is not always realized.

A wife will want sex if her husband provides her with confidence in a happy tomorrow. This is the foundation. So what is next?

My most-mine, my most beloved

For sex to be not a duty, but a mutual desire, it is important for a woman to feel that only she is desirable for her man. This is achieved not in beauty salons and fitness clubs. between husband and wife - that's what keeps each other cool.

The two are so close that they can talk to each other not only about shopping, dinner menus and colleagues, but also about the most secret, cherished, personal - from inside to inside. When this connection is built, sexual intimacy becomes many times more sensual. From such a pleasure in a pair, no one will escape.

The main work on creating an emotional connection lies on the fragile female shoulders. But she, like a ballerina, needs the support of a reliable partner for a beautiful, light, sensual jump. A wife will be able to emotionally approach her husband only if she is confident in his understanding and desire to move in the same direction.

When did you talk heart to heart with your wife? What do you know about her soul? About the innermost desires of his wife, experiences, dreams? One of the surest steps to sex, not for show, is not to pour out a tub of your problems, discontent and irritation on her, but to try to feel and hear her. With systems-vector psychology, you will understand more about a woman than she realizes about herself.

The wife does not want sex - the reasons for the family vow of celibacy

Understanding why a wife avoids sexual intimacy is a chance to make a difference.

Feeling her psychological state, you will see not a stubborn woman who, out of harm, shirks her conjugal duty, but a beloved woman who suffers from something.

Would a wife shun intimacy if she enjoyed the process? How to let her feel the taste of pleasure again? And again, you need to start with a deep understanding of your soul mate - to know the features due to the vector set of a woman.

Meaning first

He does not put all material desires, including bodily desires, in anything. But that doesn't mean she doesn't have them at all. It's just that when she wants and doesn't find the point, she doesn't want sex. Therefore, first satisfy her intellectual priority: talk to her, discuss her painful inner search. With system-vector psychology, you will be able to discern in the seeming coldness of your sound wife her perceptions, which will enable both of you to enjoy sex.

I'm sorry

A woman with an anal vector is a powerful libido. Did the best wife and hostess devote all her passion to cooking borscht? A “vaccination” against sex for a homely, decent and faithful wife with an anal vector could be done by resentment. She is attentive to details herself and expects the same from her husband. Didn't compliment her dinner? Forgot your anniversary? Didn't really thank you for the gift she gave you? So that resentment does not spoil your sexual relationship, you need to know exactly how easy it is to remove and prevent this quick feeling. The simplest but most effective solution is to ask for forgiveness in time and correct the oversight.

I will save

In everything, an organized, mobile wife with a skin vector was created to save time, money, and energy. If this does not happen to the right extent in society, another “no” thrown to her husband can bring such a woman unconscious pleasure from the ban. And then, instead of organizing a financial company, the wife will keep records of sexual contacts, save body resources, and in severe cases, use sex as a way to manipulate her husband. Help her realize her potential at work, and then saving feelings and emotions in the bedroom will no longer torment you.

In the fetters of the mat

Significantly affects the quality of sexual life. System-vector psychology shows that a swear word heard by a girl in childhood from significant adults can introduce an adult woman into an unconscious false attitude: that sex is something dirty, unworthy, shameful, aggressive (after all, they often swear during a scandal). She thinks that she loves and wants a husband, but something prevents her from opening up and getting full pleasure from intimacy. What to do for the desired sex on both sides?

Forbid yourself and your friends to swear in the presence of your wife.
Do not make fun of female sexuality by watching gloating videos.
Help her realize and work through the trauma, as hundreds of families have already done and received as a result.

“The most important thing that worried me and because of which I persuaded my husband to pay for the training, is my sex life with my husband. Before pregnancy, we had a normal sex life (this, in my opinion, was not enough for my husband, but it was enough for me). After pregnancy and childbirth, of course, I was not at all up to my husband ... After several lectures on SVP, we were able to talk about it. But I haven't seen a way out of the situation yet. And something happened after the last lecture. I began to want, and every day. The husband was so stunned that he offered to write a review about it ... "

A woman wants sex with a man who is close to her soul

Man and woman are communicating vessels. What is in one will flow into the other. Will it be irritation or tenderness and participation? Thoughts on how to repay the offense, or care and desire to fill your loved one with joy as much as possible? It is in your power to launch a powerful wave of pleasure for two.

The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»

If a wife no longer loves her husband, there are usually many signs of a problem. From indifference to irritability, from reducing the fire in bed to the loss of common interests - any man can notice the growing problems. How does a woman behave in a relationship in the absence of love, and is it possible to fight it?

The first signs of a wife's indifference

Women by nature find it difficult to hide the absence of feelings. The first problems in the family go side by side with changes in the lady's appearance. A woman stops caring for herself, rarely does depilation, does not buy new clothes. She no longer wants to interest her soulmate, which first affects the external state. However, gradually the problem affects her inner world. So, against the background of a lack of love, the following states of a girl arise:

Tolerate the shortcomings of a person is possible only if there is love. However, when feelings pass, even the virtues of a spouse can evoke anger and aggression. That is why the wife, whose feelings have faded, turns into an aggressive fury. Literally everything can bring her out of herself, including the positive actions of a man.

This state also has an opposite form: isolation, mixed with silence. The woman refuses to make contact, does not listen to the man's conversations, does not try to establish a dialogue. Sometimes it seems that a lady simply tolerates a man, not seeing any of his virtues.

From love to hate or how to determine that the wife's feelings have long faded

Psychologists believe that signs that a wife does not love a man appear as soon as the feeling fades. However, some representatives of the stronger sex manage not to notice this. What signs speak eloquently of the complete extinction of the once burning love?

a woman refuses to perform marital duties without explanation;
she spends more time with friends outside the home than next to her husband;
a woman makes important decisions without consulting her lover;
periodic and frequent betrayals can also indicate the fading of feelings.

At this stage, it is already difficult to save the relationship, because the girl has long come to terms with the fact that she does not have love for her husband, and therefore she has begun to change her daily life. Such a woman makes all decisions alone, neglects her husband in every possible way, spends time with anyone but him. At the same time, in words, she can be the most faithful and loving wife.

The risk of betrayal at this stage increases markedly, because a woman is indifferent to her husband, and only marriage ties keep her in this relationship. The performance of elementary household duties is reduced to a minimum, and the number of quarrels is growing exponentially.

Leave or stay: behavior options for a man

Psychologists are sure that if a wife does not love her husband, and there are more and more signs of an impending divorce, it is not worth fighting for a relationship. Cheating, indifference, a wild lifestyle - all this kills relationships and does not allow people to be happy with each other. And if all happiness disappears from the family, marriage turns into a heavy duty with a lot of problems for both partners.

However, there are times when a woman's love can still be returned, and here are some of them:

if the wife only periodically behaves aggressively or indifferently, this can be attributed to the peculiarities of her character or to the early stage of the “illness” of love;
if the behavior of a woman is associated with a negative act of a man, then marriage must be fought for, because love can still be alive;
if the behavior of the wife is only a reaction to the same behavior of the husband, then the relationship can also be saved, but the chances of success are minimal.

Of course, if the husband's feelings are strong, then marriage must be fought to the last. When relationships cause more suffering than joy, it is better to let them go. Perhaps a man and a woman are simply not made for each other, and therefore their love eventually passed.

How can a relationship be saved if the wife does not love her husband? Sometimes signs of problems with feelings disappear with intense care, the presence of romance in the life of a couple. In other words, by surrounding his beloved with maximum caress and attention, a man can resurrect her love. You can also try to diversify family life, visit theaters and museums together, travel.

You should not ignore trips to a family psychologist, because qualified help sometimes saves even the most hopeless marriages. You will have to act quickly, because as soon as a woman is convinced that she does not love a man, she will leave, and nothing will stop her.

Anna, Moscow