The husband should be the head of the family. Male and female roles in the family

22.06.2019

Who is the boss in the house?
How do you allocate your budget?
Who is responsible for what?
Who is the final decision? ...

And if for the spouses who have lived for some time these questions are not so relevant, then young married couples are asked by them quite often. It so happens that the stereotypes established by the family and society interfere with the agreement ...

So let's talk today about how a young family can agree on "headship"? What from the experience of ancestors is really worth taking into account, and what has long since lost its value?

The roles of men and women in relationships and family are blurred - in many ways this is the cause of conflicts and divorces.

On the one hand, a young couple has no experience of marriage and is trying to bring the example that they have to their new family. Namely, the experience from the parental family. It seems to everyone that this is exactly how it is right, that it is necessary, because this is more familiar.

In essence, the conflict between young spouses is a conflict of ways of interaction established in parental families. Often, parents are also actively involved in this conflict, "controlling" the implementation of these rules.

Here the solution for young spouses can only be a dialogue, a search for a compromise, what experience to take and what not to take into their married life. And, perhaps, with the use of a third party - a family psychologist, because, being inside such a situation, it is often impossible to see the true cause of the conflict: "it was like that in my family."

On the other hand, the question of "who is in charge" is strongly influenced by modern society itself.

The role of the man is weakened. A man in most cases is brought up so that he becomes "weaker than himself." He does not have enough personal resources to fully fulfill the role of “head of the family,” there is some infantilism, an inability to make decisions and bear responsibility in full, financially provide the family at the required level.

The role of the woman has been strengthened. Girls are often brought up with the attitude - "if anything, you can handle it yourself, you can support your family and children, do not rely on your husband." In this sense, a woman becomes "stronger than herself."

Unconsciously begins to claim the main role in the family. There is no respect for the spouse and recognition of his masculine qualities. The male ego of the spouse is suppressed. Of course, a woman is not "comfortable" in this role - the female nature is emotional, accepting, and wants protection.

In this case, both sides suffer - both the man and the woman. This gives rise to internal and external conflicts in an attempt to prove not so much "who is in charge", but who is able to correctly fulfill his role.

The solution here may be mutual support and assistance in mastering their roles, the development of harmonious relationships. Relationships in which a man (husband) is responsible for the material well-being of the family, making important decisions, the safety of the family in the outside world; a woman is responsible for creating an emotional atmosphere in which a man is able to develop these qualities, in which happy children grow up.

This is a rather complex issue that requires recognition of the situation, understanding, mutual desire to develop relationships and, possibly, professional assistance.

I agree that the topic is always topical and controversial.

In my opinion, a young couple should:

2. After that, it is worth expressing your attitude to the parental model - I would like the functions to be distributed in my family in the same way.

3. After such a discussion of each parental example, take what is valuable for the new family - what is accepted by both partners - and create your own model of distribution of importance and management.

At the same time, it is very important that young people understand that such roles and family functions are built gradually, so if some option does not work or works partially, it will be possible to sit down again and discuss and find possible options for changes!

In the modern world, the position "the head of the house is a man" is no longer considered relevant.

There are women who are many times stronger, more successful, earn many times more, so they are considered heads. But this does not happen in all families, but only where a strong woman dominates.

Why am I suggesting this? Because clarity of purpose will allow you to put everything in its place and calmly and comfortably distribute your roles in the family.

If behind this is the definition of the person who will speak the last word, decide, then this is in order to determine who has the last word in some important situations.

If it’s a matter of emotional self-affirmation, it’s a matter of emotional self-affirmation.

Just call everything by their proper names. To some, this may seem an oversimplification, but, in my opinion, it frees up living space for experiencing a greater number of different events, that is, it frees up time, a place for this, which makes life wider, deeper, more colorful and more interesting.

Yes, more often this is a problem of young couples precisely because they still do not know themselves well, and therefore are guided by someone's opinions and stereotypes. In a sense, this is a natural process, and often in such conflicts they still recognize themselves and begin to understand what they really can and would like in the family, in what they reveal their best sides and are really effective, and in what - it is better to delegate to a partner. Well, someone has been fighting for power all his life and does not see another option for existence.

What from the experience of ancestors is really worth taking into account, and what has long since lost its value?

For some reason, it is customary to think that the experience of the ancestors is somehow linear, unambiguous - all families were the same, there were the same rules around? This is not true. Even if it was customary to create the appearance that a man is the head of the family, there have always been many families where a woman actually ruled everything, and in public they together pretended to be. And this expressed their personal balance between social patterns and their own experiences. And this was not necessarily realized. But in fact, people within their family were often different from what they demonstrated to others.

A person needs first of all his own experience, and the experience of ancestors can only serve as a starting point, a model, seeing which one can feel - "mine" or "not mine"? And you still have to live YOUR life, not your ancestors. And if, for example, your character, psychotype, temperament, worldview, values allow you to realize yourself only in a certain role in the family - whatever the experience of your ancestors - you cannot be happy in someone else's role. No matter how correct it would seem to someone.

Who is the boss in the house?

Someone who is more willing to take responsibility for decisions and their consequences. Both are responsible for the family as a whole, but "superiority" often determines exactly this - the ability, taking into account all the arguments - both your own and your partner's - to say in the end - "let's do this." And be ready to deal with any consequences of decisions, to take a leading role in this, not an auxiliary one.

But this can only be an agreement of both partners. And the role of a leader should be claimed by someone who really has stronger nerves, more endurance, more self-confidence, a calm attitude towards mistakes, optimism, which allows not to fall into despair in case of failures. And gender in this case is secondary, the character and willingness of a person to take this very role and feel its consonance with his nature are important.

How do you allocate your budget?

According to the needs and their hierarchy. There are general expenses that must be agreed upon, and there are personal ones that are worth discussing with your partner. But I think that whoever is the main source of income (even if it is one person), then both partners, nevertheless, have an equal right to participate in the formation of "budget policy". The leader in the family, of course, will have more influence on this process, but I think he has no right not to take into account the wishes of the partner, if we are talking about a partner family, where there is a relationship, and not just a contract for the performance of certain functions.

Who is responsible for what?

According to the agreements. And it’s better to do it based on the abilities of everyone. If one has idiosyncrasy for pieces of paper, counting money, talking with authorities or going shopping, and the other has no problems with that, then what questions? If a man is good at cooking, and a woman is good at dealing with technology - why not? The woman wants to be responsible for the household herself, she likes to do it, and the man wants to be responsible for the finances in the family and he likes his job - that's great too. Etc. Then there will be no problems, because it is always easier to be responsible for what you enjoy, for what you know how, or at least for what does not cause strong rejection and it is not difficult to do it for the family. But if you “glue” a person a certain function, albeit “correct” in someone’s eyes, but not peculiar to himself, this will cause nothing but irresponsibility, alas.

Who is the final decision? ..

For those who are ready to carry this burden with all its consequences. Because you cannot, having said the last word, then try to complete the task with someone else's hands or shift the responsibility for the consequences onto someone else. And if such a decision on the distribution of roles in the family was made consciously, then there will be no escape from responsibility on the part of the leader, or criticism from the more guided partner. Everyone knew what and why he was going, and everyone realizes the importance of the function of a partner in all this.

But for this you really need a deep knowledge of yourself, an understanding of what you are really capable of, what your character is, and what kind of partner you need in this regard.

In short:

The tango is danced together. If the family has "consent" (respect and desire to understand), then there is always the opportunity to solve problems, and not "sort things out" and assert itself at the expense of the other.

And then it does not matter who leads in making a decision and who follows the receiver. Because the decision is made in the interests of both spouses.

It's too late for a young couple to agree on who's in charge. The main one is clearly already there. And it is important to be aware of this. Even if they agree on a certain hierarchy in the family, the "chief" will allow the game to be played. The main one is always in any couple and in any family. The task is to realize.

The question "who will be on top?" always worried the minds of people. However, they begin to deal with them seriously only when someone ceases to like to constantly be downstairs. Until that moment, they try to enjoy the relationship / endure / go about their business. This happens in any context in my opinion. And there, you see, a crisis happens, and then this acute question already arises.

Therefore, for spouses who have lived together for some time, this question may suddenly turn out to be even more urgent than for newly united ones.

The solutions are quite widely known: a coup, a referendum, or a phased reform process. The consequences in each case will be different, so everyone is free to choose according to their taste. Unfortunately, in Western civilization (to which, in my opinion, we belong), there are no longer any traditions on this topic. Therefore, confusion and hesitation reigns on the topic of domination in families and in other groups - both in the process of solving the issue and as a result. Which is good, in my opinion! I am for diversity, individual approach and creativity. Therefore, I suggest being aware, inventing, discussing and experimenting.

The question of power in the family is a question who has the last word and who is responsible for the consequences... The most paradoxical option is when one person makes the final decisions, and the other is to blame for all the troubles. This family model is unlikely to bring happiness.

And which one can? Equality? Often, in response to the question, who is the boss in your family, you can hear the answer that we have all the main ones (as an option, we make all decisions together). If the way it sounds and the way it actually happens is the same, then this is another sad version of how you can be unhappy together. Now I will explain with an example.

Conflicts can be avoided if both partners are smart about the issue. It is better for a woman not to undermine the authority of a man, not to put pressure on him and not tell him what and how he should do. Instead, you need to justify your opinion and lead the man to ensure that he makes a decision that is suitable for both. It is better for a man to concentrate not on the one who proposed the solution, but on best result... Then there is no need to appoint one of the spouses in charge and fight for leadership. Both should make decisions and be responsible for them.

Who is in charge in the house is always a question of agreements between marriage partners, a question of their mutual respect and personal priorities. If a woman likes to lead, and she does it well, and a man has enough self-affirmation in society, so at home he agrees to be compliant and driven - then why not? Following traditional roles is not always beneficial because it sometimes imposes roles on spouses that are not theirs.

Someone follows the traditional distribution of roles: the husband is the head, the wife is the neck. For some, on the contrary - the wife is the ruler and housekeeper, others build relationships on an equal footing. The main thing is that it suits both spouses and makes them happy.

What is the purpose of the distribution of roles in general? The fact is that the strength and stability of the family in the future will depend on the coincidence of the role expectations of the spouses and the role behavior of each. To prevent the development of conflicts, the spouses themselves must agree or determine by default who will be in charge of various spheres of the family's life: who will be responsible for the material support of the family, who will take on the role of the owner / hostess, who is responsible for maintaining ties with relatives, and who is the organizer of the family. subcultures, and who will be the organizer of the entertainment. And also who will better cope with the role of a family psychotherapist, will be responsible for caring for a sick, elderly family member or young children, who is the educator, as well as who of the spouses is the initiator of the manifestation of activity in love relationships, that is, the love partner. In general, a husband can be a leader in some relationships and a wife in others.

The criterion for dividing household chores should be expediency. If the husband works more than his wife, then he can spend less energy on household chores, and vice versa.

The man has the primary responsibility for the general welfare of the family, because the woman is more attached to caring for the children and the home. But the person who does it best manages the family treasury. Often one of the spouses knows how to make money perfectly, and the second perfectly distributes all their total income, carries out planning and accounting of expenses, he uses funds rationally, his strength is the organization of correct and economical food, home improvement, the reasonable use of household items, clothing, shoes, etc.

The theme of the family structure does not lend itself to correlation with any universal model. Everything here is not so much individual (no one argues with this - individually!), But rather regionally, I would say. The roles of my husband somewhere in London and in Astana (where I come from) are fundamentally different. Here, undoubtedly, the key point is the mentality of the region where the family lives.

Another point is globalization, which is trying to impose its visions on us, and which we have to reckon with. And what do we have as a result? A classic example from the life of a young Kazakh family: HE is working, SHE is a young mother sitting at home. Mutual claims to each other begin when SHE demands that HE help her with the household and the child. Whereas HE believes that HE is the breadwinner, in fact, and washing dishes is not a man's job. And SHE, under the influence of the heroines of Hollywood masterpieces of cinematography, insists on self-realization in her career and the separation of household obligations. And then there is the mother-in-law - a lover of gathering all the relatives known to her at her home, demands the participation of the daughter-in-law in organizing the holiday: first set the table, then take it all away. So it turns out a porridge-malasha, like Lenin's: the upper classes do not want, and the lower classes cannot live in the old way.

What to do then?

It's very simple to build your own family role model. But in our case - to build it taking into account the mentality and its acceptability.

On the other hand, I have neighbors, well, just the ideal of the distribution of family roles: he works, earns, and she quietly brings up three children, and everyone is happy! For this family, the classic model is reality.

So it turns out: what's for one myth then for another reality.

It seems to me that many myths have been created in relation to the family, which society diligently supports. And those couples who try to live in the way that was accepted by their parents, or according to social stereotypes, often fall into the trap, as if they are living someone else's life. In this case, they say: "So it is." Who started it up? What for? Is this "turned on" for a particular couple?

If in the parental family the vow of silence was the golden rule, because it is indecent, unacceptable to express one's opinion, then the habit of being silent can pass into a new family. And then each of the young spouses acts on a whim, as necessary. And the family boat sails haphazardly, without a rudder or sails. In this case, misunderstandings, resentments and disappointments accumulate.

In fact, the history of each family is unique. It is written by two people with different views, beliefs, characters, different baggage of life experience. And here the most important thing is to be able to come to an agreement, adjust, find a reasonable compromise. And then what difference does it make who is in charge? Both spouses should be comfortable in the family. Otherwise, each other breaks down, because this is the way it should be, the husband is obliged, the wife is obliged, my parents did this, etc. The main thing is that both sides are ready for dialogue.

The question of leadership will not arise when husband and wife can get along(harmony - harmony, peace, order colloquial) between themselves.

Lad(plural frets or masonry) - part of the construction of the row string instruments, which is a convex transverse strip on the neck that serves to change the tone of the sounding string. The name of the part is associated with the concept of fret as the most important harmonic characteristic in music .

As my many years of experience working with families show, the tone in addressing a partner decides everything, it really depends on the intonation of the spouses whether the family is okay or not.

If not debugged strings of relationships in the family, and there will be no harmony in it. Questions like: "Who is the boss in the house?" have long become a favorite topic for anecdotes and "bread" for satirists, as well as the issue of distribution of family material resources.

I wrote about the budget of a young family in one of the round tables, so I will focus on the next side of the topic under discussion.

The generation that was brought up by powerful fathers - this topic remains an urgent problem, and the importance of psychotherapy in such cases is great.

Sometimes people feel that the relationship problems of a young age should not be considered deeply, that these are the quirks of childhood and immaturity, nagging and difficulties that will go. It is a myth. It is worth going further, looking for your own unique path, looking into the past to change the future, working through what is missing for solidity, individuality, in order to come to an agreement.

Regardless of gender, none of the partners should take up so much space in the relationship, filling everything with themselves so as not to leave room for the other partner. When you are around, you should not feel threatened, deceived, or pressured by your partner. These feelings can suggest hidden problems, which are very important to start solving right away or to plan as soon as possible.

When you have a relaxed sense of trust, you can understand what the two of you are focusing on. What do feelings tend to when one of you is sad and the other is in joy, and not only out of curiosity. Emotional attunement is a full opportunity to be in real circumstances, to make real decisions. Invest all of yourself in the beginning of a business or event.

Without such skill, you will have to regret bitterly about the quality of life. Therefore, so much attention is paid to messages from one's own emotions so that they do not remain an unresolved problem, pricking fragments of a broken life.

From a pure source of attention begins the study of what to start doing, what to be better at, what to learn. When discovering the undeveloped aspects of the personality, there is always a choice: to turn away from them, glancing, as it were, furtively (I am in charge), or to begin to understand things in a new way. Will meet with something new, especially if you feel that people like you are in the minority.

Fortunately, we get an intuitive, and not only, understanding that change requires effort, we need help. We need a good psychologist. To feel how the value of conversations helps to move to another level in self-knowledge. And not to remain in the dark where the skills of satisfying natural needs are a priori necessary. New reactions, and previously stifling anger and despair, about who is in charge and who is right, will gradually but forever go away. And this is a chance to live a long, interesting life.

Since ancient times, it has been established that the head of the family is a man. But over the centuries, many traditions have changed a lot, and now in modern families there is a tendency that the leader simply becomes the one who has more life experience, who is not afraid to make decisions and be responsible for them.

And if a few decades ago no one would have thought of calling a woman the head of the family, now this is practically the norm. Women achieved equality, began to occupy high positions, major leadership positions and receive substantial money. But how much this has affected the institution of the family, the woman herself, is there a need for such an arrangement of roles, what are the pros and cons - let's talk about all this today.

What is being the head of the family?

Let's see what it means to be the master of the house? The owner of the house cannot be called a person who cleans the house, maintains cleanliness and takes care of him - this can also be done by hired people (servants). Also, it will not work to call the owner and the one who, not caring much about the house, just brings money home - he can be called a breadwinner, but not a master.

The owner of a modern house is a person who, first of all, cares about the comfort and convenience of the whole family, competently distributes the family budget, makes all mandatory payments and makes the necessary purchases.

Since all this has become easier to organize, thanks to modern technology, the services of various companies and the almighty Internet, more and more people come to the conclusion that in fact there is no fundamental difference who is in charge of the family. It is important how happy and prosperous the family is at the same time, when the roles of the spouses are "planned", are known and understood by both, and everyone agrees with them, then such a family will not care, it is able to solve any problems and problems. It is much worse if the owner is not in the house, and, for example, there is a constant struggle for leadership, in this case both children and close relatives and, of course, the quality of life suffer. It turns out that there is nothing wrong with the fact that a woman becomes the master of the house, what do you think?

To be completely objective, we have identified the "pros and cons" of the position , when the wife is the head of the family.

The main woman - the advantages of the position

You are free to do as you see fit, without asking your husband and not taking into account his opinion.
The entire budget is on you, and therefore you can afford pleasant purchases without waiting for your husband's approval.
If you do not have a leadership position at work, you may well be realized in the family.
This is a great way to boost your self-esteem.
You can pay special attention to your career by giving your husband some of the household chores, most often in such families, husbands are not against this.

Woman Leader - Cons of Position

The first thing that I would like to note is the inevitable fatigue, which is elementary due to the great and constant responsibility for the forced decisions made on their own.
As practice shows, most wives cease to respect their husbands due to the lack of a firm and strong character. One gets the feeling that she has become her husband's mother, and not the woman she loves, and this often leads to divorce.

This will certainly affect the children - they are known to follow the example of their parents. Very often in such families, a boy grows up quiet, modest and timid, and a girl, on the contrary, with an "iron" character, that is, a copy of her mother. In the future, it will be very difficult for them to build healthy personal and family relationships.

The most important thing is that you or your half feel comfortable in the leadership role, so it is better to immediately agree on which of you will be the boss. This is not just a wish, it is a necessity, you should know that a considerable number of marriages collapse, precisely because of the unwillingness or inability to bear responsibility. But there must be an owner in the house, otherwise a strong family will not work, we wish you good luck and many years to your marriage!

Natalia Kaptsova

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In our time, the concept of "head of the family" is gradually lost in a series of changes in modern life. And the very term "family" now has its own meaning for everyone. But the head of the family determines the family order, without which a calm and stable coexistence is impossible.

Who should become the main person in the family - a spouse or a spouse? What do psychologists think about this?

A family is two (or more) people linked by common goals. And a necessary condition for the implementation of these goals is a clear division of responsibilities and roles (as in the old joke, where the spouse is the president, the spouse is the minister of finance, and the children are the people). And for order in the "country" you need comply with laws and chain of command, and ... In the absence of a leader in the “country”, riots and pulling the blanket over each other begin, and if the Minister of Finance instead of the President takes the helm, the laws that have been in force for a long time are replaced by ill-conceived reforms that will one day lead to the collapse of the “country”.
That is, the president should remain the president, the minister - the minister.
Abnormal situations are always resolved by the head of the family (if you do not take into account the peeling paint on the windowsill and even a torn off tap). And you simply cannot do without a leader in solving some difficult issues. A woman, as a being in fact weaker, can not solve all issues on her own. If she also takes over this area of family life, then the role of a man in the family is automatically diminished , which does not benefit his pride and the family atmosphere.
Submitting a Wife to Her Husband is the Law , on which the family has been kept since ancient times. A husband cannot feel like a full-fledged man if the spouse makes himself the head of the family. Usually, the marriage of a "spineless" and a strong woman-leader is doomed. And the man himself intuitively (as intended by nature) is looking for a wife who is ready to accept the traditional position of "the husband in the family is the main one."
The family leader is the captain who leads the family frigate on the right course, knows how to avoid reefs, takes care of the safety of the entire crew. And even if the frigate, under the influence of certain factors, suddenly goes off course, it is the captain who takes him to the desired pier. A woman (again, by nature) is not given such qualities as ensuring safety, the ability to make the right decisions in emergency situations, etc. Her task is to maintain peace and comfort in the family, raising children and creating an environment for your spouse that will help him become the perfect captain. Of course, modern life and some circumstances force women to become captains themselves, but such a position does not bring happiness to the family. There are two options for the development of such a relationship: the wife-helmsman is forced to put up with the weakness of her husband and drag him on herself, which is why she eventually gets tired and starts looking for a man with whom she can be weak. Or the wife-helmsman carries out a "raider seizure", as a result of which the husband gradually loses his leadership positions and leaves the family, in which his manhood is belittled.
A fifty / fifty relationship where responsibilities are shared equally with leadership - one of the fashion trends of our time. Equality, a certain freedom and other modern "postulates" make adjustments to the cells of society, which also do not end with a "happy ending". Because in fact there can be no equality in the family - there will always be a leader ... And the illusion of equality sooner or later leads to a serious eruption of the family Fujiyama, which will result in a return to the traditional scheme "husband - head of the family", or to a final breakup. A ship cannot be operated by two captains, a company by two directors. Responsibility is borne by one person, the second supports the decisions of the leader, is next to him as his right hand and is a reliable rear. Two captains cannot steer in the same direction - such a ship is doomed to become the Titanic.
Woman as a wise creature , is able to create such a microclimate in the family that will help reveal the inner potential of a man. The main thing is to become exactly the “co-pilot” that supports you in emergency situations, and does not pull out the steering wheel shouting “I will drive, you’re driving in the wrong direction again!”. A man needs to be trusted, even if his decisions, at first glance, seem to be wrong. Stopping a galloping horse or flying into a burning hut is very modern. A woman wants to be irreplaceable, strong, able to solve any problem. ... But then it makes sense to complain and suffer - "he wipes his pants on the couch while I plow at three jobs" or "How do you want to be weak, and not pull everything on yourself!"?

The head of the family (from time immemorial) is a man. But the wife's wisdom lies in the ability to influence his decisions according to the "he is the head, she is the neck" scheme. A smart wife, even if she knows how to handle a drill and earn three times more than her husband, will never show it. because a weak woman a man is ready to protect, protect and pick up in his arms if it "falls". And next to a strong woman, it is very difficult to feel like a real man - she provides herself, she does not need to be pitied, she herself changes the pierced wheel and does not cook dinner, because she has no time. The man has no opportunity to show his masculinity. And to become the head of such a family means to recognize oneself as spineless.

This is a question of questions. It is not a secret that in modern society the disintegration of the family has become a common occurrence. The family is sacred, at all times it was considered and is considered so. However, it has been weakening in recent years. I see one of the reasons for this in the process of women's emancipation. The woman works, makes a living. Perhaps because of this, she no longer takes into account her husband. Maybe if a woman makes money, this is how it should be? But I don't think so.

2013-07-15 12:00:07

Prosto4elovek answers:

, The head of the family should be the father, who will earn and support his family, it will not be decent if everything is the other way around, the mother will work to support the family, and the father will sit at home and play the computer. Also, financial issues should be decided by the father, not the children or mother. Almost all responsibilities are included in the father, since he took this family, which means he must support it, take everyone on vacation, but they must all strive for some goal together. And the mother must do everything around the house. , electricity should also be done by the father, since he is a man and he should understand this. So, in my opinion, I think that the main thing in the family should be, and he should also monitor his children who go to school, he should check the diaries and For example, mothers go to parents 'meeting. For example, mothers go to parents' meeting, and dads go to boys. In the family, the main thing should be the man!

2013-07-15 12:23:02

EvgenijMarkovich answers:

, By all the rules, the head and support of the family is the husband and father. Men make money and women spend it. But this is a classic. Not every modern girl likes it. And not every family has it that way. Nowadays there are more and more families where the wife becomes a breadwinner, she has her own business or a high-paying job, at a time when the husband does an excellent job with the household and children. Everyone should perform the function that is more convenient for him and within his power. And in some families, like mine, for example, my husband earns money, helps around the house, takes care of his son - he helps me a lot, and I, a woman, decide global issues. What is the right thing to do, where to go on vacation, how to spend free time, how to make repairs, how to draw up documents. As well as full control of difficult situations and problem solving. Always, before doing something and making a decision, I always consult with my husband, if he is against it, I explain why this is the best way out. He agrees. Thus, it turns out that the head of the family - the HEAD - is me, and he thinks that he is. And nothing disturbs his male pride!