Very strong attachment to a person what to do. The mechanism of the emergence of "love" and the emotional channel. Plans for life

The relationship ended a long time ago, but the attachment remained? It makes you suffer and suffer, remember the happy moments of the past and understand that you won’t be able to return them. Attachment is usually a natural addition to the feeling of love. But, unlike love, it is based on positive memories. A person could do a lot of bad things to us, but we still remember the best that was, and continue to “hold on” to the relationship.

How to get rid of attachment to a man? Let's look at the main ways to do this.

The first thing you need to do is admit that there is a problem. And if you constantly think about a man, remember your joint days and nights, feel sad, cry, and deep down you would like to return everything, there is a problem. Relationships do not always last forever - it is better to take it for granted and try to "leave to leave."

To overcome addiction:

• Recognize that the relationship is no longer and will not be. Yes, you may be hurt, sad, offended - accept these emotions, feel them and move on.

• Remember what a man did to you badly - affection always focuses on the good, but it was not only good. Turn on the vindictive bitch and write down the grievances in a list - when you see them, you immediately want to close the doors to the past. Do not throw away the list - you may need to return to it from time to time.

• Find something to your liking - work, hobbies, meetings with friends; It doesn't matter what you choose, as long as it helps. Some women simply go headlong into their favorite business, especially if it was not possible to do this before, others load themselves with work so much that there is no strength left for bad thoughts. The main thing is to endure time - it does not heal by itself, but allows you to put a lot in its place.

• Read more books about how to be philosophical about life and let go. In this case, you will need to let the man go, then you will have to do the same with friends, children, work, problems, resentments, bad thoughts. Solid benefit!

• Find a good psychologist or take a group course. Our psyche is arranged in such a way that we do not notice the obvious, and this prevents us from making decisions and changing our lives. Another person will draw your attention to important things and help you quickly part with a painful attachment.

Attachment is a strange feeling of need to associate with a person with whom there is no loving, mutually beneficial or material relationship. On the one hand, it seems that there is nothing negative in attachment to a person, but on the other hand, the desire to see and hear the object of addiction can turn into a real obsession.

The problem is that attachment is a form of destructive dependence on external circumstances.

How does attachment arise?

Attachment has a normal and obsessive form. With normal addiction, an emotional connection occurs at the right moment, but as soon as it passes, the need for a person also disappears. When the absence of a person causes emotional distress, then it is quite possible that attachment has acquired an obsessive, unhealthy look.

Neurotic attachment -. This is a kind of breaking, only not at the level of physiology, but at a subtle - spiritual level. Dependence on a person deprives of freedom, does not allow a happy life and interferes with emotional peace.

Initially, addiction takes the form of a habit. This is the result of long contact, communication, meetings and a sense of closeness. When large experiences tend to recur, habituation develops. If people you don't know socialize, meet, hang out, or live together, over time, the relationship will inevitably lead to addiction and attraction.

Attachment is a type of emotional nourishment from another person to improve one's own condition.

How to get rid of attachment?

Time does not cure such psychological dependence. A person who is attached to someone else does not perceive life adequately and does not act rationally. If the addiction arose on the basis of a love relationship, then getting rid of it is not so easy. This is explained by the fact that love is a strong experience, "the highest pleasure." That is why difficulties arise. A person subconsciously does not want to give up this feeling. And who will refuse? Especially if the relationship ended recently, the memories are fresh, and the loss is unusual.

How to get rid of neurotic attachment? The algorithm is this:

Focus on current events. As soon as attraction to the object of addiction arises, at the same moment, transfer your thoughts and attention to what is happening at the present time. Enjoying life here and now is the most important thing for achieving harmony with the world and your own "I". The skill of switching attention to the current moment of life will save you from most problems. At the moment of digging in memory, you are living in the past, which is no longer there. Calculating what will happen in 10 years - in the future, which does not yet exist. These are fantasies and Real life is happening right now, in this very moment.
After thinking about the object of emotional attraction, answer yourself the question: “What do I want?”. Sometimes we misinterpret. If you are honest with yourself, then the answer will follow this: “I feel an inner, emotional emptiness. I need to fill it out. In addition to attraction and dependence, I have nothing to fill the void. This is proof that a person to whom there is an inexplicable attraction is not needed by you as a person. It is advisable to find something to fill the inner emptiness and apathy. These are things that help personal growth: books, a new business, a hobby, a hobby. Do what brings you joy. As soon as you fill the void and eradicate boredom, attachment to a person will decrease or disappear forever.

Everything seems simple, but it was not there! Attachment is an insidious feeling. Often we do not want to get rid of it at all, but to live like this further becomes unbearable. What to do?

What to do when you don't want to get rid of?

Don't get attached to anything, for everything is temporary.

The state when you don’t want to forget and let go of the object of dependence is quite normal. This is not surprising, because the state of love is close to the state of nirvana, and who wants to voluntarily give up this?

However, you need to realize that nothing in life happens by chance. Problem situations help people develop, grow as a person. from another person makes you ask questions and find answers to them. And so it happens.

If you don’t want to get rid of attachment, then the choice is small: either realize that the situation creates a problem and solve it, freeing yourself from addiction, or continue to suffer and naively believe that it is possible to return the former relationship with the attracting person.

By the way, which have become a springboard for the emergence of addiction and attraction, will not succeed. And that's why:

Nothing in life just happens. This situation is not given to you by chance. You develop, grow, change. The hope of the return of the relationship is resistance to the events of one's own life. Look at the clock - the arrows only go forward, and what happened a week / month / year ago does not matter anymore. No matter how painful, insulting and unpleasant it is to let go of a person, you will have to let him go.
An addicted person lives in a world of illusions and his own fantasies. He completely surrenders to the pictures that the insidious brain draws. Face the truth. In fact, these relationships have already become obsolete, you do not need them. The truth is that there is an inner void that needs to be filled.

Drop addiction. Realize that this state is just your own desire to receive something from the outside, to fill an emotional void, to realize the need for love and care. You can alleviate the “withdrawal syndrome” by getting carried away with what you love, filling the void with what you really like. As soon as this happens, the need to communicate with the object of addiction will go away by itself, it will become an unnecessary ballast and an obstacle to self-improvement.

Surround yourself with happy people. Stop communication and meetings with the object of attraction. It hurts, but constant contact hurts more. Fill your own life with new events that have value here and this minute. Immerse yourself in the current life with your head and stop living in the events of the past. Over time, the absence of an addictive person in your life will not be perceived with such acuteness.

Guys and girls don't know how get rid of attachment to a person and what actually needs to be done to forget a person. Often people use some ineffective methods and end up back in attachment again and can't do anything about it.

In the article, psychologists will tell you how to get rid of affection for a person what and how to do this in order to forget a person once and for all and not be attached to him. After all, getting used to a person happens quickly, and weaning, oddly enough, is rather slow and not pleasant.

Do something you love

To forever get rid of attachment to a person and not only, you need to find a great favorite thing for yourself and do it all your life. This will allow you to remain happy, enjoying every day and no longer be attached to anything and no one, except for your favorite business. Be a free person and find something in life that you are always ready to do and at the same time not only receive money, but also pleasure and joy.

Communicate with other people too

If you are too attached to a person of the opposite sex, to a friend or girlfriend, then the only way to get rid of and get rid of attachment to a person is to start communicating with many people. When your attention and energy is concentrated on one person, then, accordingly, a large part of you is in the person to whom you are attached. Having started communicating with a large number of people, you will divide your energy into parts, which will allow you to no longer become attached to anyone, since your energy, thoughts, are scattered on all people, and not on one. Find out: what to talk about with a guy and a man.

Find your joy in life

Frequent causal affection there is a lack of happiness and joy. We become attached to those who bring us joy and happiness. To get rid of attachment to a person, find your own joy in life without the help of others, then you will not need anyone to feel happiness and joy. You need to communicate with people, but, feeling inside yourself happiness and joy independent of others, you will never be upset and suffer.

Find another love

If you are attached to a guy or girl and you can’t get rid of it, then don’t do it, keep dating. But if a person does not reciprocate and your feelings do not make sense, then you should find the person who likes you, and he likes you. This will allow you to get rid of one person and become attached to the one who is attached to you, then your relationship will never fall apart and will last forever.

Learn to relax and meditate

Become more cheerful

You need to start smiling more often, laughing and enjoying life, because it is not eternal. Attachment is connected with the fact that you are not able to please and amuse yourself. Learn to do this and then you will get rid of attachment to a person and everything else. After all, everything that is needed for a successful and happy life is stored inside us, in the subconscious. Learn to communicate with yourself and then you will always be in a good mood and will be attached to yourself, and not to others.

But remember, by nature, all people are interconnected by thin threads and tied to each other by strong and powerful ropes of common energy, so it makes no sense to live alone, communicate, help your neighbor, love, appreciate and respect everyone around you, then you will notice that that it is your environment that changes as soon as you change.

Attachment to a man is a complex and multifaceted thing. She makes a woman treat her partner with great attention and often forget about herself. Such girls sacrifice themselves without even thinking about the fact that they allow humiliation and suffer various inconveniences. To become happy, you need to find the strength in yourself to get rid of the debilitating attachment in time. Otherwise, a woman risks losing self-respect and the man who is next to her. How to get rid of attachment to a man? There are several important ways. Let's try to figure it out.

How to get rid of attachment to a man: ways

Personal development

A self-confident woman is not only successful. She is generally not inclined to be strongly attached to anyone, and even more so to a man. A man is so arranged that he is interested in setting a goal and striving to achieve it. He feels the need to achieve the chosen one, to gradually win her. Otherwise, he loses interest and switches to another, brighter object.

The development of her own individuality allows a woman to remain interesting and in demand during the entire time when she interacts with a man. The man, in turn, admires the inaccessibility of the girl and does everything so that she pays attention to him. How to develop your own self-sufficiency? First of all, give up the idea of ​​feeling sorry for yourself. You do not need to constantly demonstrate to others, and even more so to men, how much you suffer. If you are interested in a specific person to whom you have a strong attachment, first step back a little, find something of your own, some interesting activity or hobby. Be inimitable, bright and bold. Do not allow such attachment to develop into addiction.

Find hobbies

Each person is interested in something, something especially fascinates him. There is no need to be like those people who have limited their small little world to ordinary things and shun everything new. So you will not be able to feel the real taste for life. You can get rid of oppressive attachment only when you yourself determine the boundaries of your interests. Who knows if you will need the same person later. Suffering for someone is the most thankless task. If only because men do not appreciate and do not notice those who run after them.

Independent character

You can get rid of attachment if you strictly follow the word given to yourself. You must promise yourself that no other man will make you suffer and humiliate yourself. There is nothing worse than when a woman does not realize how unworthy her behavior is. Don't become a pathetic slave in a relationship. Do not offer yourself, do not insist when no one wants to know you. Independence in character is formed through fruitful work on oneself. The first time will be difficult, but you need to try to fight attachment. Work hard - you help yourself. An independent woman is always self-sufficient and beautiful. So why not start giving your appearance a certain amount of time each day?