Features of sexual activity after childbirth. Sex life after childbirth: when can you? Sex life after natural childbirth: reviews

20.08.2019

In the first days after the birth of your child, you are very far from thinking about how your intimate relationship with your spouse will develop. And what kind of sex can a mother think when holding a baby to her breast ?!
But family and sex life does not stop there. Care and affection is required not only for the child, but also for the father of your child.

The nature of sexual relations between spouses in the postpartum period is influenced by many factors: the course of childbirth, the presence of any complications, the well-being of the woman herself.
Usually, doctors recommend that sexual intercourse be resumed 6-8 weeks after childbirth. But here only you yourself will be able to assess your well-being and readiness to continue your sexual life. Ideally, before this event, it is worth visiting a gynecologist to reliably make sure that your body is back to normal, and with the help of a doctor, choose the contraceptives that are most suitable for this period.
Statistics show that almost half of women experience difficulties in intimate life three months after giving birth or perceive sex as an overwhelming obligation, and about 18% face these problems during the year.
The reasons can be purely individual, but there are several general factors that interfere with the continuation of sexual activity immediately after childbirth.

Reason number 1. Vaginal dryness caused by a lack of estrogen hormones. This problem is easily fixable. In this case, it is advisable to use special products that moisturize the mucous membranes, lubricants.

Reason number 2. Women experience pain or fear of sexual intercourse due to the stitches placed on the tears and incisions in the perineum. The mucous membranes and skin at the entrance to the vagina and perineum are very sensitive in the postpartum period. In the area of the seams, especially with pressure, pain can occur. During sexual intercourse, a woman may offer unconscious resistance to penetration. In this case, you need to try to relax as much as possible during intercourse, use the poses "woman on top" or "face to face" - this way you can control your movements and avoid pain.

As a rule, after a cesarean section, it is easier for a woman to make love: there is no vagina stretched by the passage of the child, there are no tears and scars.
To minimize the risk of rupture, doctors recommend performing a special set of Kegel exercises throughout pregnancy.

KEGEL COMPLEX
EXERCISE 1. Straighten in any position, relax the muscles of the abdomen, buttocks and legs. Squeeze the muscles around the anus several times, as if preventing bowel movement. The exercise can be done several times a day.

EXERCISE 2. When emptying the bladder, interrupt the process, and continue after a few seconds. In this way, you will strengthen the anterior pelvic floor muscle group. In theory, this exercise can be done in any situation, as long as you imagine that you are trying to pinch a slip tampon.

EXERCISE 3. This exercise combines the first and the second. Start by relaxing, then gradually squeeze the pelvic floor muscles, starting from the back group, and only then engaging the front. Each exercise should be done for two minutes, and the whole complex should be repeated at least three times a day.

Reason number 3. Psychological problems. The first three weeks after giving birth, a woman may suffer from endogenous depression, which usually intensifies against the background of general fatigue and constant lack of sleep. The help and support of the father in solving everyday problems, joint care of the child are very important here.

New mothers perceive sex after childbirth in different ways. For some, this is not a question at all. But more than half still face troubles up to 3 months, sometimes up to six months. About every tenth problem remains after the baby's first birthday.

To be together Long-awaited sex Intimacy after childbirth
After the arrival of the menstrual cycle
Complex degree of consequence

When and how to start

From the point of view of physiology, a woman's body is ready to resume intimate relationships after the genitals are restored. After childbirth, this happens individually for each woman, which determines how long it is not allowed to have sex.

It takes time for the contraction of the uterus, the muscles of the vagina. In the first week, the uterus is reduced by half, fully takes on its original size by about the third or fourth week. The vagina can take much longer, sometimes up to six months.
So that the first sex after childbirth does not turn into a serious infection, inflammation, you need to wait for the wound left from the placenta to heal, as well as the closure of the cervical canal. This happens in the third to sixth weeks.
If a cesarean section was performed, the uterus needs a similar period of time to recover and form a scar.
After serious ruptures, surgical interventions, episiotomy, recovery lasts longer. Whether it is possible to have sex determines the success of this process after childbirth. As a rule, the ban is increased to two or even three months.

The average term, which doctors say, is rather vague. Recommended 42 days, 8 weeks, 6 weeks. The minimum is 4 weeks or about a month.

A moment of pleasure to be together

A woman is quite capable of determining for herself when to have sex. The fact that the organs have returned to normal is indicated by the cessation of postpartum discharge. Small stitches heal even earlier. But still, first you need to go through a gynecologist's examination and get his "go-ahead".

There are extreme people who resume sexual relations in the second week. This is not worth doing, the need to endure a little is not a reason to risk your health. The danger exists even when using a condom.

On the other hand, after giving birth, you can have sex in as many days as you want, even if immediately after discharge. If we remember that intimacy is not necessarily the penetration of the male organ inside the female. There is petting, petting, an oral way to satisfy a husband. The main thing is that the psychological attitude is appropriate.

This is where the biggest problems lie. Sex after childbirth can be off-putting to a new mom for many reasons. Sometimes dad has certain fears. No wonder they say that this is very similar to "the very first time", including because of the possible pain.

You need to make a little effort so that the first sex after childbirth does not become a disappointment. The nature of everyday communication of young parents is of great importance. Small signs of attention, gentle words, kisses, hugs are the best way to express feelings for each other.

A woman should remember that she is really a woman, and not just a feeding and care machine. It does not depend on the figure, degree of fatigue, enlarged breasts and other contrived problems. After giving birth, she needs intimacy no less than a man. His desire shows better than any words that love and interest have not been lost - most likely, they have even increased.

A man, on the other hand, needs to remember to be extremely careful. You may even have to interrupt intercourse, and more than once. Actions must be extremely careful, very slow.

After giving birth, it can be difficult to choose a time to have sex in order to have sex. A traditional night is not always good. But you can contrive by asking your friend or grandmother to walk with your baby for an hour or two during your husband's lunch break. If there is a desire, then there will be an opportunity.

A careful approach is needed when choosing a pose. The positions you were accustomed to before pregnancy are likely to be uncomfortable or even impossible. Consider that it can be painful to have sex after childbirth, as well as some stretching of the vaginal muscles. Therefore, a woman should be able to control the process by adopting a position in which the hips are tightly closed.

Most common problems

The primary cause of concern is pain. It can be caused by:

dryness that occurs due to decreased estrogen production;
changes in mucous membrane, muscle tissue, which were the result of stretching, tears, cuts;
much less often - inflammatory, infectious processes.

Almost all women who have given birth experience a lack of natural lubrication. To make it not painful to have sex, artificial lubricants are used. Choose water-based so as not to get irritated from the oil.

The long awaited moment

Even small stitches can cause pain. With care, it quickly passes. It is more difficult, of course, with extensive damage. They take longer to heal, which determines when to have sex after childbirth.

Painful sensations arise because the tissues in the vaginal area are very delicate and sensitive. This is usually not dangerous, but sometimes it takes as long as six months to fully recover. Very rarely, in the most difficult situations, plastic is done.

A more serious situation is when pain from sex, even a month after childbirth, appears in the abdomen, back, that is, inside. This may indicate an infectious lesion, the development of inflammation. There are unpleasant discharge. The appearance of any suspicious symptoms is a reason for immediate medical attention.

If the couple is too hasty after giving birth, blood may appear after sex. Again, you need to see a gynecologist in order to exclude a serious danger.

Why is bleeding:

barely tightened vessels at the sutures are mechanically damaged;
the physical impact caused the renewal of lochia, which has not actually ended yet;
there are postpartum complications, depending on the strength of the bleeding, an ambulance or a visit to a doctor is needed.

If blood does not appear after the first sex, but after six months or a year from the date of birth of the baby, most likely, the reason is not related to childbirth.

Why desire disappears

The first reason for a young mother's lack of attraction is based on instincts and hormones. Now she needs to take care of the baby, the procreation is not required, so nature provides for the loss of interest in intimacy. On the other hand, prolactin - a "milk" hormone - suppresses the very mechanism of passion. So “I don’t want sex after childbirth” is not just words, it’s physiology.

This condition passes quickly enough. The process can be accelerated by doing "this" against the physiological desire. The possible absence of physical pleasure will not last long; it will be completely replaced by emotional pleasure. After all, the husband has no hormonal changes.

Intimacy is getting sweeter

But the lack of desire appears for a variety of other reasons.

You don't want sex at all when a woman feels that she is completely owned by the baby, obliged to devote all the time only to him. It comes to the point that the pleasure of intimacy is perceived as guilt before the child.
Lack of social contacts, resentment against the husband that he is not able to replace communication with other people.
The realization of their own unattractiveness often explains why women do not want sex after having a baby.
Fear of a new pregnancy.
The usual increased fatigue.

These psychological problems are quite successfully solved.

It must be remembered that the baby will be happy if the mother is happy. Otherwise, later it will turn into a deterioration in relations, subconscious accusations that the child took the life of his mother. Certainly the need to pay attention to the child after childbirth is not the reason why you should not have sex.
A husband really cannot become all people at once. There are other ways - communication on social networks, meeting new mothers, visiting sports complexes, and finally, clubs of interest.
The fact that now a woman looks different does not mean that it has become worse. You just need to let go of the old, find the positive in the new life.
There are many ways to make postpartum sex safe. The best doctor will recommend.
Defeating fatigue is not easy, it will take a lot of patience. In addition, a lot of household chores can be postponed by using time for rest and communication with your husband.

Even young dads have problems with attraction. Although they are ready for long-term abstinence, unlike mothers who are faced with a lack of desire often unexpectedly for themselves. Many men simply feel sorry for the woman, especially after the suffering she has endured.

It happens that dads cannot accept a baby for a long time, associate him with his wife and lose attraction. Sometimes they subconsciously get angry at the need to support the whole family alone, when the wife is constantly at home.

Internet forums, feedback from other young parents about sex after childbirth suggest ways to solve problems. A family psychologist will provide invaluable help. Sometimes one visit is enough, just voicing the cause of the problem. It is a mistake to underestimate marital intimacy - after all, its renewal means the end of the postpartum period, the beginning of new family relationships.

A healthy and regular intimate life of spouses is the key to family happiness and warm relations between partners. Pregnancy and subsequent childbirth breaks the schedule of sexual relations. The spouse suffers the most from this. He ceases to feel needed and loved, as a result of which disagreements may arise in the family. How to make your intimate life after childbirth improve and when you can sleep with your husband again after the birth of the baby.

Necessity or prejudice

Many husbands believe that the lack of acts of love in the first weeks after childbirth is a relic of the past. Men often do not understand the possible consequences of early resumption of sexual activity and often incline their wife to intimacy earlier than the due date after childbirth.

Today, experts say that the early resumption of intimacy between spouses can lead to the development of many complications. The period of sexual rest prescribed by the doctor must be strictly observed. During this time, the body of a young mother recovers after childbirth, postpartum discharge comes out, the uterus, cervix and vagina return to normal. If you cannot withstand the rest period, you can bring an infection into the uterus, which threatens inflammatory diseases and even infertility.

How long is the rest period

Given the individuality of each organism, it is impossible to say exactly until one day how long the ban on sexual relations between spouses should last. Sexual life after childbirth can resume only after the cessation of lochia. If everything is fine with you, the discharge has stopped, and you feel well, you can visit a gynecologist to resolve the issue of resuming intimacy with your spouse.

At the reception, the gynecologist will interrogate you, examine you, take the necessary tests and decide whether you can sleep with your husband, or should you wait a little longer. Usually the rest period lasts from 6 to 8 weeks. However, there are exceptions.
So, for example, if a young mother has postpartum complications, the rest period can be extended until complete recovery.

Obviously, becoming a mom is a wonderful feeling that fills life with meaning.

Even if you have given birth to a child, remember! You are still a desirable woman that a man loves.

Most of the fair sex claim that the first sex after natural childbirth is very similar to "the very first time." And there is a completely physiological explanation for this statement. The birth of a baby is the most exciting and important event in the life of a family. The first weeks after childbirth significantly change the normal rhythm of a woman's life. And this leads to certain permutations.

The human body is a purely individual biological system that reacts to external stimuli in completely different ways. There are women who, right after giving birth, dream of passionate love with their husband. But there are not too many such "priestesses". Official statistics claim that 50% of women in labor experience sexual dysfunction within 3 months. In 18% there is a continuation of apathy for closeness up to 1 year. How to behave in this case? What are the methods for normalizing attraction to your partner? How quickly is first sex possible? Hundreds of millions of people are interested in these questions. Let's deal with these problems in detail.

Sexual rules after childbirth

Physiological and psychological basis

The return to intimate life after childbirth should be gradual. Most couples will no longer experience the same sensations in bed that they had before. Such a replacement of feelings is not associated with a loss of interest in each other. This transformation is based on a different (more mature) perception of partners. Parents begin to be united by spiritual, rather than sexual, relationship. So why is it worth a little delay with the beginning of an intimate life after the birth of a child?

In practice, a young family often faces one problem - the lack of sex due to the birth of a baby. Maybe the former passion of partners has faded away? Far from it. Love and ardor will surely prevail when physiological and psychological reasons return to normal. First, the female body really needs a break. Secondly, subconsciously, not every woman is ready for love after psychological stress.

After childbirth, the body of the "newly made" mother undergoes restorative processes:

after the birth of the baby, the uterus is gradually cleared. For 60 days, the internal organ removes lochia (specific discharge). This process is characterized by a gradually fading character;
A woman's relationship has certain damages. It is for this reason that any kind of penetration can provoke severe pain. A dangerous infection can easily penetrate through loose seams, which will bring additional disorders and diseases.

Thus, loving spouses have to wait until sex becomes a source of happiness, rather than worries and fears. But when the rehabilitation period has passed, and intimate life is not observed, then we are talking about psychological discomfort. Let's consider the main reasons that may precede this situation:

Significant change in priorities. This can be called a natural instinct. Now mom pays all her attention to one baby. She simply does not think about pleasure, but is guided by a reflex, which manifests itself in caring for a newborn;
The presence of a complex in relation to your body. It's no secret that most women are very worried about their forms. Now, when the excess weight has appeared, the tummy has increased, stretch marks have formed, postoperative sutures are healing, and serious worries of the spouse may arise. In this case, the man should support her and convince her otherwise.
Postpartum depression. The burden of responsibility can unsettle even the most powerful woman in character and purposefulness;
Chronic fatigue. Mom is on duty 24 hours a day and does all the household chores around the house. Thus, the emotional sphere is under serious stress, which affects activity in bed.

Science has long established that at the time of breastfeeding a baby, a woman produces a special hormone. These biologically active substances cause sensations that are similar to orgasm. It is for this reason that a woman does not need intimacy with her husband. That's why she doesn't need sex.

How much should you abstain from sex after childbirth?

The abruption of the placenta forms a continuous wound at the site. This surface is unprotected. Therefore, the infection can easily penetrate the organ and provoke the development of additional disorders and complications. Even the smallest accumulation of dirt during intercourse can become a source of dangerous inflammation. It is for this reason that doctors recommend waiting time after childbirth and improving the condition of the female vagina. After all, it is the muscular organ that is significantly stretched when a baby is born.

Most of the fair sex is firmly convinced that having sex after a cesarean section can be started earlier than the recommended weeks of abstinence. This reasoning is absolutely wrong. Even if the operation does not extend to the vaginal area, the placenta still needs healing. A special scar is formed on the uterus, which should get stronger and harden. How long does it take to start a sex life? This question is purely individual and depends on the personal characteristics of the organism.

Intimate life after a cesarean section

The KS surgical procedure is a complex surgical intervention that involves cutting the abdomen and uterus. It should be noted that the muscle structures of the vagina remain completely intact. As a result, the woman begins to experience different sensations from sex. In some cases, the recovery period can be longer than with natural childbirth. The quality of the sutures depends on the level of professionalism of the performed operation. If everything is done carefully, the healing process will be short-lived. The first sex after childbirth can take place after 6-8 weeks.

This information is of an average nature, since the organism is a strictly individual system. Some women can easily start caring for their baby in the maternity hospital, others recover up to 30 days after the operation.

The most optimal option for determining the state of the uterus is ultrasound. Digital technology allows you to clearly verify the scarring of the stitches and determine how much more you can not have sex. This information can be advised by a qualified doctor. In some cases, a full sex life can come in six months. If you ignore the advice of a specialist, you can earn additional complications.

Exercise system for rehabilitation

After what time is it rational to start intimacy in bed? How to reduce the painful waiting? The Postpartum Intimate Muscle Health Exercise System is an important platform for recovery. After the birth of a baby, the vagina undergoes significant changes. The muscular organ is stretched and needs to be normalized to its previous size.

To speed up this process, rehabilitation doctors recommend performing special exercises.

For example, the Kegel task contributes to a significant increase in sexual tone and an increase in the blood supply to the organs of the reproductive system. Wellness activities control orgasm clearly. Experienced sexologists recommend that women “stop urine” at the moment when the process of urination is active. This area of muscle fibers must be gradually trained. The main point of this workout is relaxation and muscle tension at different rates. It is allowed to do the exercises at any time convenient for you.

Recovering the feeling of sex after childbirth is an art that closely correlates with wellness training. How long should they be produced? It all depends on the state of the woman's body and her biological potential, which is laid down by nature itself. Physiologists say that the sensitivity of the vagina after the birth of a baby in a mother is significantly reduced.

Arnold Kegel's simple exercises were originally designed for people who suffered from urinary incontinence. However, later clinical studies have shown that healing effects have a positive effect on the sexual tone of a woman's body. As a rule, sex after childbirth becomes much more pleasant and desirable for the fair sex. Thus, simple, systematic exercises can improve intimate life and improve family relationships.

Conclusion

About 1/3 of women begin to experience orgasm only after childbirth. As a result, sex becomes better quality and goes to a new level. A strong hormonal shock during the period of breastfeeding activates the work of all systems of the mother's body. The psychology of a woman is undergoing a significant transformation and becomes more open to the world around her. At about 30 years old, a woman's sexuality is fully revealed. Often it is at this age that she is ready to give birth to a child.

A normal psychological state directly affects a good lactation. Adhere to the recommended deadlines given by your doctor. A relaxing massage is perfect for relieving physical stress. It is necessary to choose contraceptives wisely. Contraception should not affect the quality of breast milk. Competently approach this issue and look positively at what is happening around.

Like 5

How to speed up the healing process and return to a fulfilling sex life after childbirth

“Returning” to our husband, we expect that the sensations from sex will be as sparkling as before. But usually the sensitivity of your intimate points and places decreases - and this is normal. And after what time will she return? What if - never? Don't be alarmed or panic. Set aside time for special exercises that promote the healing of "battle" wounds and train the necessary muscles.

When after childbirth can you experience the same sensations of sex? A good orgasm is possible only with the elastic muscles of the vagina. Therefore, they need constant training. These exercises, to the delight of us women, were invented by the gynecologist Arnold Kegel. To increase sexual tone and improve the sensation of sex.

Exactly what to do: Slowly squeeze the vaginal muscles, tighten and relax every 3 seconds. Start your regular workout with 10 contractions and relaxations 5 times a day. After a week, the number of contractions can be increased to 15, exercising the same number of times a day. After another week, bring up to 20 contractions, and so on until the number reaches 30. And by the time an intimate life after childbirth becomes possible, you will get an amazing effect. If you like it, you can continue such activities daily or at least every other day. Train your love muscles everywhere - sitting, lying down, and even on the way to work. This will be a very useful habit, and your sex life after childbirth will improve much faster.

Kegel exercises strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor and perineum.

Why does it hurt like the first time

First sex, first birth, first sex after pregnancy. All women have painful sensations, and they are caused by various reasons. Either the nerve endings are damaged during the birth process, or the scars on the soft tissues are injured during sex, or the muscles are too weak, or there is simply not enough natural lubrication.

Do not test your patience, give up new poses, better old, but life-tested ones, which are most comfortable for you. Have sex gently and gently, like the very first time.

In every family, the revival of intimate life takes place in a different way. You can celebrate it with a romantic evening, delicious food, a fragrant bath, watching an erotic movie. Relax and let your desires awaken. May your first night of returning to your husband be soft and tender.

Why he or she is in no hurry to have sex after childbirth

And the deadlines have already passed, and everything is fine, but in bed you feel like on opposite sides of the barricade, and you don't want to cross this border. The desire for sexual rest after childbirth is both masculine and feminine.

Postpartum women usually have low levels of the pleasure hormone estrogen. Instead, another hormone, "maternal", takes over on duty. The little man is still completely helpless, and therefore the mother's second child is not needed, there is no need to conceive and carry him, and therefore sex after childbirth is still in the background. She thinks only of the baby, and all the pleasures go into the fog-sands.

The subconscious "psychological hormone" - "vengeful", also plays a role. An unconscious desire after a difficult childbirth - to avenge Him for all the suffering that a woman experienced, translates into a refusal to have sex with her beloved and desired husband.

The "fatigue hormone" also dampens sexual desire. The house, the child, the household chores, which all fell on a poor woman's head at once, do not at all contribute to romantic sex.

And one more "hormone" does its dirty work. “I got fat, I have stretch marks on my stomach. My husband will see me and will not be able to love as before. " Take it easy! Not good for good, but good for good. There is no need to be afraid. It will be all right soon. Have sex at least for his pleasure. He needs it, he missed you a lot, and there were no changes in his body. Soon the passion will return to you. It is possible that with a vengeance.

Why doesn't the husband want? After all, he must burn with passion. For nine months and the postpartum period, he simply must miss his beloved, be sexy and passionate? Yes and no. First, he may feel redundant and jealous. Secondly, a loving man is simply afraid to hurt with his awkward touch, and still feels guilty, because he is healthy and he wants to engage in an intimate life.

We suggest watching a video on the topic, in which the obstetrician-gynecologist talks about when to start having sex after childbirth. What to do if a woman has a decreased libido.

Sex after childbirth for each couple begins at different times and in their own way. But if you love each other, value your relationship, you will cope with any difficulties!