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Why you need to follow the rules of courtesy. Rules for communicating with strangers and unfamiliar people

Many parents are faced with the question of what manners to instill and how to teach politeness to a child in such a diverse world today. If earlier society and the state presented more stringent and specific rules of behavior, now parents are free to choose whether to instill in a child the laws of politeness or educate him, remembering the rule "impudence is the second happiness."

Why is courtesy necessary?

Learning the rules of behavior is part of the difficult process of human socialization.

Firstly, the education of politeness teaches a person to control his impulses, it is socially acceptable to express emotions. This is important for the child to be able to communicate with people. If the baby tries to get his way with the help of a fight and direct aggression, growing up, he learns to express his desires differently. Politeness helps him feel more secure as well. helps you understand what to expect from people.

Secondly, the rules of politeness create patterns of behavior that help solve simple problems in society. They develop standard forms of dialogue, which makes it easier to communicate with unfamiliar people. Politeness also helps to create boundaries for what is acceptable in more difficult situations. Thus, the education of politeness helps the child to learn important laws by which society lives.

Thirdly, politeness determines the social stratum, it helps the child to decide who he is and where. It also helps to unite the family, to define its environment: “We cultured people, it’s not customary for us”, “We are simple people, so we say everything without sentimentality.” These features help the child go through the most difficult process of self-identification.

What to teach?

Growing up, the child learns to control himself. Therefore, it is important to increase the “politeness load” in stages, remembering that the child has more low level self-control than an adult. The mistake of many parents is that they make demands unexpectedly and all at once: “You are already an adult, so you must ...”. This creates an overload and misunderstanding of the child: why yesterday it was “possible”, and today it is already “impolite”.

But a child learns politeness not so much from the words of his parents, but from their example. Therefore, it is difficult to instill rules of politeness that are not respected by parents. This is also dangerous, because it violates family identification, the child is confused in what he is taught and in what he sees with his own eyes.

How not to overdo it

Politeness is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it allows you to express yourself socially acceptable, simplifies the interaction between people. On the other hand, it deprives a person of the opportunity to be himself, makes the interaction too complicated and insincere. An example of this is the secular societies of past centuries, which are not accidentally called hypocritical. They had too many complex and unwritten laws of behavior that prevented people from being themselves.

Therefore, when teaching a child the rules of politeness, you should remember why you are doing this. If you see that the rules only complicate life without bringing any benefit, this is an occasion to wonder if they are really needed.

It often turns out that people following the rule“impudence is the second happiness”, it is easier to achieve their goal compared to the “intellectuals”. When teaching politeness, it is important not to put a complete ban on the direct expression of feelings and tough interaction, in some cases they are necessary. The child must be able to take care of himself.

"But it's different in the yard"

Parents often face the fact that their child hears completely different requirements from other people than at home. And he begins to compare and ask his parents why he is forbidden to pronounce some words at home, and his comrades consider him “cooler” if he pronounces them. Or, on the contrary, someone else's aunt suddenly scolded him for something that his parents never had any complaints about.

In such situations, it is important to explain to the child that the rules of politeness are not absolute and depend on the situation and the person. But they help to communicate and serve as an indicator of belonging to a certain circle of people. Therefore, it is important to learn and observe them.

Olga Novozhilova

You can always determine the degree of culture of a person by his behavior. Nice to chat with well-mannered person but rough, vulgar speech leaves the worst impression.

What is politeness

Every person is a social being. People communicate with each other, create families, become colleagues. All members of society deserve respect. To avoid conflicts, insults, annoyance, polite treatment is accepted between the interlocutors.

Politeness is the ability to communicate tactfully, listen carefully to another point of view, show tolerance, the ability to decide conflict situations in peaceful way. Politeness and decency is the very tool by which people feel comfortable, free when communicating with their own kind.


Rules of courtesy

Since childhood, everyone knows magic words»: thank you, hello, sorry, sorry, thank you. Tact begins with politeness. This is the international norm. If such a quality as delicacy is considered innate, then good tone can be learned. Polite people know what is always necessary:

  • greet;
  • saying goodbye;
  • ask for forgiveness (when a mistake is made, or cause inconvenience to the interlocutor);
  • to be interested (that is, to show necessary minimum attention, such as asking, “How are you? »);
  • do not push passers-by with your elbows in order to get somewhere;
  • do not interrupt the interlocutor, especially if he is older in age;
  • do not shout to a friend who is far away.

The best indicator of a person's upbringing will be his restraint. A violent manifestation is completely unacceptable. negative emotions on people.



How to be polite

The rules of politeness are instilled in the child from childhood. Parents are always the first teachers. In the morning, children and parents say to each other: good morning”, during the day - “good afternoon”, and in the evenings - “ Good night". Disputes at home are resolved on a verbal level. Raised parents analyze the causes of the conflict, behavioral error, explain to the child why he is wrong. The child should be given examples of how to act in a given situation. This is how little people are prepared for adulthood in society.

Psychologists say: if you start moral education a child from 2-3 years old, then they are already 2-3 years late. Children take an example from the closest people. They imitate mom and dad, and it starts from the cradle.

The courtesy and attentiveness of the interlocutor are of particular value. Warmth and goodwill help a person to open up, to show their best qualities. Rudeness, ignorance, rudeness offend human dignity, cause moral harm to the individual. offended person closes in itself, stops contacting the offender. Japanese psychologists have long noticed that a polite person will always be safe, and a boor and a rude person will definitely get into trouble.


Courteous behavior helps a person acquire new useful contacts, to have many acquaintances, buddies and friends. Parents, in order to teach their child etiquette, must be patient themselves, do not put pressure on the child, do not shout. You can discuss the heroes of the books you read, analyze their behavior.

Manners secular behavior prohibit any indecency. When speaking, always be polite.


School teaches politeness

The school is called a second home. Here educational process multifaceted, gradual and continuous. The school has its own tools for instilling cultural behavior in the student. Exists whole line activities contributing to the formation polite behavior, which include:

  • themed class hours;
  • trainings;
  • seminars;
  • games.

Here it is customary to simulate situations. Schoolchildren play up the proposed plot: a queue at the store, a visit to the theater, an imaginary trip to public transport and so on. Data interactive methods contribute to the development of sociability, mutual understanding in children, teach the norms of polite behavior in an interesting, creative way.


More about courtesy

You should know that the rules of etiquette have been formed for centuries. The ground rules include a number of priorities to keep in mind, for example:

  • a man always greets first, opens the door, gives way to a lady;
  • younger ones greet first, give way to transport, help those who are older;
  • healthy people allow patients to see a doctor, give way to them, places in public transport;
  • subordinates greet the boss first;
  • when asking, you must say the word “please”;
  • for the help or service rendered, it is customary to say “thank you”, “thank you”;
  • if someone is brought inconvenience, grief, trouble, it is necessary to ask for forgiveness, apologize;
  • at an official reception, they first greet the owners, and then - by seniority;
  • when calling, you must introduce yourself;
  • punctuality is hallmark polite, cultured person.

What is politeness? But what about “impudence is the second happiness”? Where does this courtesy begin? What forms does she have? Let's figure it out...

Why is she needed?

Certain rules of polite behavior teach people to live in society, not to go beyond the limits of decency, to some extent to cultivate conscience. Politeness plays a big role in raising children. In the future, when the child becomes an adult, he will feel more confident in society, he will know what to expect from other people.

We all live within certain limits of behavior and we can't get away from it. The rules of politeness help to solve some life tasks, develop certain forms dialogues. They make it easier to communicate with people who are unfamiliar to you. Polite people rarely overstep their bounds in some tense situations. It is a stepping stone to humanity in the long ladder of life.

And thanks to politeness, people determine the social stratum in society, their environment: “We are people from a cultural family, we don’t act like that”, “We are simple, we don’t care about sentiment.” This is how self-identification happens. little man in family.

Children are the flowers of life. They must be polite. Some people think so. Others don't think so. And why in our world be polite? We are the working class and we us ... on whether our children will be polite. Yes, what is there to talk about, just go out into the street, take a ride in public transport. "Politeness" rushing from all the cracks and almost everyone.

Regarding children. You should not demand everything from children at once: “You are no longer small, so you owe this, you owe that ...”. This will only overload the psyche of the child, cause him to misunderstand. Yesterday you allowed him to do this, today suddenly his act has already become “impolite”. It is necessary to teach politeness not with words, but with your own example. It is impossible to instill polite behavior in a child if you yourself do not possess it. It turns out that in words one thing, but before the eyes of another.

Very educated and very polite people

Badly. Sometimes it's too bad to be overly polite. You can be fired from your job. Morning. Monday. Stop. Minibus. It's an hour and a half drive to work. We're late. People, crowd. There is only one bus and it is full. Pass out of courtesy pretty girl. I went. We are standing. We are waiting, sir. We're late. Anyway. The second one arrived. Crowd of people. But we are polite. Let's skip the old lady. Grandma would take a tram, a trolleybus. But, alas, only minibuses go here. We are standing. We are waiting, sir. We're late, sir. We smoke nervously. The third one arrived. Crowd of people. But don't care about courtesy. Got in first. Let's go. Nervous, we're late for work. The boss is a beast. Prize on the nose. Well, okay, let's get out. We've arrived. Not too late, but enough. Reprimand in a rather impolite manner. Prize down the drain. Thank God they didn't get kicked out of work. And could...

A stick that has two ends. Meet Her Majesty Courtesy. It greatly simplifies human relations allows you to express yourself in society. It also robs some people of the opportunity to be themselves, deprives them of sincerity in relationships, complicates the interaction between people. A striking example from the past, and even today, the so-called secular society, which is full of hypocrisy. So think about it, is it necessary to be polite? As for me, so where greater value has sincerity and humanity, respect.

"Intellectuals" find it harder to achieve their goals than those who spit on polite behavior, for whom "impudence is the path to happiness." It is a fact. A fact that has stood the test of time and life.

Politeness is not absolute. It depends on many external factors, certain situations. And learn to apply the rules of courtesy, that's what is important. You just need to be a person, but it is also important to know who a person is.

It is always a pleasure to communicate with a well-mannered, cultured, educated, polite person! A lot depends on our ability to behave in relation to other people in life, and often we do not understand or underestimate this. Circle of friends and acquaintances, reputation in the team, success in business, harmony in personal life- well-being in any of these areas, you see, largely depends on how we communicate and behave with other people.

Being polite is actually not always easy. Many of our entourage or even outsiders do not like us very much or frankly do not sympathize, often troubles in personal life, fatigue, and stress interfere with restraint and adequate behavior. But one of the most important qualities successful modern man is self-control and politeness. That is why it is so important that our children learn this from the very beginning. early childhood. A polite child will always be preferred to a rude and boorish one, even and especially when he grows up. And you need to strike while the iron is hot, that is, it is necessary to teach children the rules of politeness from an early age.

Rules of polite behavior and communication for children

The most universal, perhaps, the rule can be known to all: do to others the way you want others to do to you. But children do not always consciously want to be greeted or paid the slightest attention to them. However, without this in the formation of politeness is indispensable.

Perhaps, it should start from the fact that explain to the child what politeness is, what polite children are and why it is better and even very important to be polite. Then gradually move on to practice and begin to apply the acquired knowledge in Everyday life. A very convenient help for parents are the rules of politeness for children in pictures, the rules of politeness for children in verse and many other publications, which today will not be very difficult to find and buy.

It is hardly possible to clearly and point by point state all the rules of polite behavior, because in almost every life situation or a small episode you can behave in a certain way. But the starting point can be the study, understanding and application of the so-called magic words, the words of politeness: “hello”, “goodbye”, “thank you”, “thank you”, “sorry”, “permit”, “please”, “be kind " and so on. But you can use them in completely different situations. For example, apologies are asked not only when they act badly, wrongly, cause someone inconvenience or feel guilty about themselves. The word "sorry" can be both a request (for example, when trying to move forward in a large crowd of people or a desire to ask something), and a way to get attention (for example, by joining in other people's conversation).

Using verbal (that is, verbal) politeness tools will get better as you increase life experience child: the more he meets and communicates with other children and adults, the more he can practice.

The words of gratitude deserve special attention. You need to thank not only for the gifts or surprises provided, and this should be done even if the present was not to your liking. With words of gratitude, you need to respond to a compliment addressed to you, to a service or help provided. By the way, helping others is also a sign of politeness.

It is possible to be impolite/polite without even using those special words. The kid needs to be explained that it is unacceptable to call names, make fun of or invent nicknames for other people, focus on their shortcomings, express your displeasure or anger aloud. Instead, you should compliment others and express praise, note the merits and good qualities be able to listen and be interested in the personal affairs of others. For example, after answering given to the child the question of how he is doing will politely ask his interlocutor about the same.

Even without saying a word (and often children do not want to respond to a greeting or goodbye), you can behave politely or ugly. A sincere smile in response can replace words that are sometimes so difficult to pronounce. The same smile in the appropriate situation can be completely inappropriate and speak of bad parenting.

A polite child should know and understand that others must be respected (especially adults and even more teachers), that one should not think only about oneself and one's own comfort, that one should interrupt without emergency or shout, talk loudly in in public places- ugly, just like picking your nose or biting your nails.

There are many other rules of politeness, among which some more basic ones can be mentioned:

  • Always say hello first and return the greeting.
  • Smile, be in a good mood.
  • Don't interrupt when others are talking.
  • When you enter a closed door, knock.
  • Coming out closed door hold it with your hand.
  • When coughing or sneezing, cover your mouth with your hands.
  • Yawning or hiccupping during a conversation with the interlocutor, you need to apologize.
  • Ask permission if you're not sure about something.
  • Use the word "may": may I ask you? let me ask? let me pass?
  • Don't show that you're not interested.
  • Don't argue, avoid conflict.
  • Don't answer rudeness with rudeness.
  • Remember: a polite person will never intentionally offend another or create trouble for him.

There are many rules of courtesy for children and adults. But a child brought up in a cultured, educated family will feel many of them intuitively, even without special emphasis on them from adults.

How to raise a polite child: rules for parents

Probably, many parents will agree that children learn bad things faster and easier than good ones. It is worth sending the baby to Kindergarten or take a walk in the yard near the “bad” company, as in the culture of behavior and communication of the child there is already something to work on.

Meanwhile, the truth is also that no matter how we raise our children, they will still be like their parents. And this means that raising a child, teaching him polite communication and behavior makes no sense if we ourselves do otherwise. Whether we like it or not, whether we notice it or not, children always copy their moms and dads, though not always to the same extent.

So the rules of politeness exist not only and not so much for children, as in the first place - for parents. And the most important, the most important of them is to be the best example for the child!

You can repeat to your child a thousand times that arguing and swearing is ugly and unworthy, but once you quarrel with the man who pushed you in the store, the child will take such behavior as a model. Learn to control your thoughts, emotions and actions in any situation and maintain a good tone of behavior, regardless of the situation. And, by the way, it is necessary to start with communication with the child: when addressing him, use words of politeness, have the patience to listen to the end and not interrupt, be able to ask for forgiveness and be sincerely grateful.

Trying to instill the rules in a child good manners, follow the recommendations that will help you achieve your desired goal and not get the opposite result:

  1. From the first days of your communication with the baby, build warm, kindred, trusting relationship. Then you will be an authority for the child, he will listen to your instructions, will turn to you for help and advice.
  2. Start teaching courtesy early age: not even talking kids everyone understands!
  3. Use the game form of learning: role-playing games, reading thematic literature, discussing images or life situations.
  4. Do not impose courtesy rules on children. Do not force them to act or speak in a certain way, do not scold them for "wrong" behavior, and do not shout.
  5. Give a choice to do one way or another, but at the same time explain the advantages of one tactic and the disadvantages and consequences of another.
  6. Explain why you should do this and not otherwise.
  7. Do not proofread, scold, or lecture in front of other people.
  8. Do not be ashamed because of the child's behavior and do not shame him. Focus on what should have been done, criticize the behavior, but in no case the child.
  9. Always take into account the characteristics of the character and temperament of the baby, his mood and well-being. The personality of your child, his experiences should be above the rules established in society.
  10. Praise for politeness and culture. Note how much you enjoy it.

Teaching children politeness should be unobtrusive, harmonious, bring mutual pleasure. In this process, not only the child is improved, but also the adult. Polite people find it easier mutual language and this is so important!

Especially for - Ekaterina Vlasenko

Owning his emotions and observing the rules of politeness is much more pleasant in communication than a rude person. The ability to correctly assess and behave in a given situation depends on success in a career, relationships with friends and relatives, well-being in family life. Therefore, every person from an early age should know and observe the rules of politeness.

What is politeness

Politeness implies an expression, as well as a manifestation of respect for any person or his action. If you turn to the dictionary with the question of what politeness is, the definition of this word will be as follows - it is a manifestation of good breeding, courtesy and the ability to observe the rules of decency. Being polite is not easy. Very often, restrained and adequate behavior of adults is hampered by stress, troubles at work and in personal life. Sometimes the manifestation of politeness to a person is impossible because of antipathy towards him. One of the most important and valuable qualities of a person is the ability to show himself restrainedly and politely in different situations. It is often very difficult for children to understand what politeness is. Therefore, it is very important to teach a child to observe the rules of politeness from an early age. After all, this quality is always noticed and appreciated.

Showing courtesy

A person shows courtesy to another if he constantly uses the words “thank you”, “please”, “excuse me” and the like in a conversation.

Spouses are tactful in their attitude and instill this in their child if they do not use rude and obscene words in a conversation with each other.

In politics, showing respect for the interlocutor during negotiations is called diplomatic courtesy.

A person is considered polite if he shows his respect to both elders and younger ones.

Rules of courtesy for children

What this should know not only every adult, but also a child.

First of all, the child needs to explain what politeness is, the definition of this word. And also how educated kids behave and why it is so important to be polite. It is very convenient to study the rules of politeness in pictures and game form. There are even rules in verse so that the child can more easily remember and understand them.

One of universal rules that every adult knows: treat others the way you want to be treated. Children very often consciously do not want to be paid attention to and greeted. That is why this rule is very important in the formation of politeness and awareness of this very concept - politeness: what it is and how it manifests itself.

It is important to teach your child to use words of gratitude correctly. You need to thank not only if a gift was presented (even if you didn’t like it), but also if another person helped or rendered any service. It is necessary to explain that help and mutual assistance - this is politeness, is very much appreciated.

It is necessary to tell the child that you can’t call names, make fun of someone or come up with offensive nicknames, focusing on the shortcomings of another person. Instead, praise others for good deeds, to note their dignity to be able to listen to a person without interrupting him.

Knowing and understanding that you need to respect other people, you can’t be selfish and put your desires first - politeness. What kind of attitude towards other people should be in any communication and that it is ugly to interrupt someone or shout for no reason, you need to explain to the child from an early age.

magic words

Of course, the main aspect is learning, understanding correctly what polite words are and using magic words such as "thank you", "hello", "goodbye", "sorry", "please" and so on. It is necessary to explain to the baby that they can be used in different situations. For example, they apologize not only when they act badly or feel guilty for an act, but also when they want to ask another person for something or attract his attention, distracting him from another business or conversation. As communication with other children and adults increases, skills in using polite words will increase.

Basic rules of courtesy

  1. Say hello first and respond to greetings.
  2. Don't interrupt others while talking.
  3. Knock when the door is locked.
  4. When leaving, hold the door.
  5. Ask permission if you are visiting.
  6. You can't show disinterest in anything.
  7. Avoid conflict.

There are many rules of courtesy. It is important to remember what is right well-behaved child, whose parents are polite, will intuitively act in the same way as they do in similar situations.

How to teach your child to be kind to others

It is hard to argue with the fact that children learn bad things much faster than good things. As soon as a child sees his peer committing a bad deed, adjustments have to be made to his behavior. There is also a certain amount of truth in the fact that children will always be like their parents, copying their behavior. That is why the rules of politeness should be observed not only by children, but also by their parents. After all, they are a role model for the child. First of all, the mother and father of the baby must learn to control their emotions and actions, regardless of the situation. When interacting with a child without fail you should use those very magic words, always listen to everything the baby wants to say without interrupting him.

From the first days, you need to build warm and with the child, so that later, when the baby grows up, be an authority for him. Then he will listen to the opinion and instructions of his parents.

To explain the meaning of the word "politeness", what are the rules of politeness is necessary from the very early years. To do this, it is preferable to use the game form.

It is impossible to impose rules on a child and force him to comply with them, and even more so to punish him for misbehavior.

The child needs to be given a choice of how he can act in certain situation and then explain the pros and cons of the decision.

You can not scold the child in the presence of other people. Never criticize a child. You can criticize his behavior, but he himself is not. The child should be praised for showing courtesy.