What if my wife got it? Councils of a modern psychologist. I'm tired of my wife

13.10.2019

Good afternoon, dear readers.

Today we will talk with you about such a feeling as "tiredness". Why do I put this word in quotation marks, because we will understand not physical fatigue that came in the evening from work, but something else. Let's take a look at our life together. How often do we say to ourselves "from someone." Of course, we will not be interested in some politicians or prominent public figures, from whose promises we get tired, but let's look into the closest relationship. Family relationships.

“More recently, we confessed our love, there was a lot of tenderness and passion in the relationship. What a wonderful honeymoon. Ah ... BUT, you won't live with memories. Today, returning home, I understand that at home - SHE ... in her dressing gown, and seems to take care, cooks dinner, looks after, but something is not right ...
As I approach the house, I notice that the irritation is growing. You go into the house, put on a smile, exchange a couple of phrases and at the computer or TV. "

So often a consultation begins, at which the client does not know what to do next, is there love ... and is there any sense ...

The problem in question starts much earlier. And when the consequences bloom in full color, we begin to ring the bells. "I'm tired of all; no strength; every day the same thing, nothing new; she walks back and forth with her demands and claims; annoys; and in general I am tired of such a life, I would rush somewhere so as not to see anyone !!! "

Where is the beginning?

Let's look inside ourselves and ask ourselves the questions: “When was the last time I was surprised? What was the last time I surprised you? Do I know the idea of our family, why we are together? "

Often in my practice I hear such answers: “I am already an adult”, “What am I, there is nothing else to do. I work tirelessly! Who would have appreciated! "," Why ... an interesting question! Why - I know, because we love each other, and what else is needed for the family? "

In modern life, we are chasing security, and then suddenly there is a crisis again. We urgently need to earn money to have the rear of the family! At the same time, I want to live 100% today. Loans, liabilities, living in step with the times, there should be all the best. Much that is already happening! We set new goals, achieve again (increase in income, growth in career, etc.) and in this race "for arms" we forget about the most important person.

At first, we feel love, respect and excessive gratitude for the fact that the wife understands everything, understands how tired we are, she appreciates everything that we give to the family. And this eventually becomes a habit. "SO AND IT SHOULD BE". We come home, take off the masks of “a good person”, “soul of the company”, “excellent performer”, “wonderful leader”, and what is left ... What does our partner see every day? What do we want to show? There is no longer any strength to show anything, I want to love and accept them like that. And she has a home-made "Saw".

In his song A. Dolsky sings "Least of all love goes to our most beloved people." And here's a little more, and the routine sucked in. It's kind of like Groundhog Day. Imagine that for several years now, every day, seven days a week, without a vacation (although some are lucky ... they leave the family on a business trip to rest) you are doing the same thing, for example, pumping water from a well with a bucket and a rope.

During the night - the water runs over again. And so every day. We woke up, took a bucket, and went to our well, scooped up the water, it's time to sleep. We slept, and again ... And here it is, the feeling, already in the evening begins to cover you, you already hate tomorrow, because falling asleep - you know exactly what will happen tomorrow. It seems? Does it look like something?

I hope this article is read not only by those who have already found themselves in such a situation! The sooner you start preventive methods, the more likely you are to bypass such situations in relationships with loved ones.

There is an exit!

"A simple way to help you revive the zest in your relationship."

If you are worried about this, then nothing is lost, there is love and everything can be changed. Be glad for yourself that you are not indifferent!
Prioritize family interests. Put the following on the scales: on the one hand - resentment, misunderstanding, fatigue, desire for revenge, ignorance and all your thoughts that oppress you; on the other side of the scale - your desires, feelings of love, courage and ingenuity, ideas about the family that you would like to see, dreams! Happened? What's more important?
Any behavior always has a purpose, and relationships also have a purpose. Set your own goal for what you need a family for. Let this goal inspire you.
Create a ritual that will put an end to old relationships. For example, write old grievances and claims to each other, arrange a torch to burn everything that prevents you from being close. Or it can be a joint holiday. Anything.
Now is the time to discuss with the family a common family goal. In which direction you will develop.
Outline a plan of action that you will implement in order to keep yourself moving towards the image of your family and your relationships.
Start surprising your partner. Let each day be new, different from the previous one. Create, come up with new ideas, be the initiator of a new one, a kind of "mass entertainer" in your family. This is necessary in order not to return to the "bucket on a string".
Every day ask yourself the question "What was interesting and joyful in our relationship today?"

Here's a simple enough way to help you revive the zest and joy of living together in your relationship. Sometimes it is difficult for yourself to lead yourself to new thoughts, ideas and actions. We invite you to the trainings held in our company, which will help you more effectively set goals in relationships and achieve them. From this series, I recommend you the following programs: "Understanding yourself and others", "From loneliness to love" and "Secrets of Childhood Behavior."

I would like to say one last thing. Dear, dear and beloved women! Thank you very much for your patience, love and care for us, men. If you see that your man is withdrawn into himself, it's time to arrange a holiday in honor of your love!

Today is an important holiday for all lovers! Don't miss your chance.

Good luck, and see you at the trainings and pages of our website.

In the period after 6 months to a year and a half of living together, everyone in a relationship may begin to cool down towards your partner.

You don't spend as much time in bed as you used to.

The question of who is to blame if the wife does not want a husband is obvious. Both are to blame. And better deal with the problem instead of looking for someone to blame.

The reasons for such a cooling wife

8 reasons why a wife doesn't want a husband:

The husband gives her the same emotions, the wife has the same emotional background. Sometimes she really needs these emotional roller coasters.
The husband lost his attraction to her, hence the wife, too, it disappears. Because the attraction is transmitted and originally comes from the husband.
You are used to each other's pheromones. The family no longer has the same attraction and chemistry as before.
Monotony in bed due to lack of great experience.
You have a small child in your family.
Her depression or stress outside the home.
The spouse refuses out of a feeling of revenge, some past resentment against you (for example, resentment in the style of “I turned the light bulb myself, but I asked him about it for 4 days in a row”).
The husband simply stopped taking care of himself and walks around the apartment with a fat belly in some panties (do not forget about shaving in the morning, taking a shower and keeping an eye on the shape). The smell of sweat is very repulsive.

16 secrets to solve the problem

1. Calculate which of the 2 components of your relationship is sagging

For any relationship there are 2 components:

Emotional (there should be emotional peaks, her scale of emotions at this moment looks like a "roller coaster");
Physiological.

If you consistently have these 2 components at their best, then no one will leave you, you will always want each other and close your worries about how to make your wife want a husband.

2. On the scale of emotional outbursts, bring it at least 7 out of 10

Emotional outbursts are the sudden rupture of her reality into positive.

Many people do not know what to do if the wife does not want a husband, and they have no reason for this. Here you just need to give her more of these emotional outbursts.

Let's look at examples of how you can arrange a rooftop.

Do it with her in any extreme place:

near the church;
on the beach in a cabana;
in the toilet of a public institution;
right in the fitting room of a clothing boutique;
at home on the kitchen table;
at home on a washing machine.

Try something extraordinary at least once a week.

Even if in a public place there is not such a high-quality intimacy as at home, all this is compensated by the fact that you will have high doses of adrenaline when you do this.

The pros of it all

She will feel your passion, an outburst of love and at the same time danger.
This will give her a very big surge of emotions. The emotional side is very important for women.
Thus, the relationship will last longer, the questions about why the wife does not want a husband and is constantly sleeping will be closed, and you will know what to do.

If you don’t give her these emotional outbursts and don’t take care of it, then someone else will take care of it.

Because especially young girls always live with emotions. We men think more logically. It's different for women.

Always make sure that there are emotional outbursts in the family.

There should be peaks of emotions - positive outbursts.

3. Do not allow her to manipulate the man and use it as a weapon

As soon as a man stops communicating with other girls, and your lady no longer sees competitors for her man, the trading mechanism works for her.

She begins to think about when to give her husband the right to intimacy, and in which not.

Here is such a common reason why a wife does not want a man, can be distinguished.

In what cases does a woman begin to manipulate a man

The girl sees that her man is investing only in her and no more in any girl.
If a man has no female friends.
He does not communicate with other women and does not share emotions with them.
A man does not improve and does not develop.

How to find a way out of this situation

This is a normal male need for communication with the opposite sex without the context of the bed.
So do not deny yourself this and do not limit yourself in dealing with women.
And then your wife will see you as a worthy man, an object of lust.
She will see in you a man who needs to be held and whom many women dream of meeting.
She will see potential competitors next to you and will not give up positions herself and will start competing with them for your attention.

4. If you have a child in your family

Let us examine the question of why a wife does not want a husband after childbirth.

There are the following explanations for this:

When a wife breastfeeds her baby 3 times a day, she experiences sensations that are equivalent to making love.
The husband becomes unnecessary to her after that. So if you have a baby in your family, it is not surprising that she is satisfied without you.
After giving birth, the hormonal background of the girls changes dramatically and it takes several months for everything to return to order by itself. Because of this, the passion for her husband disappears for a while. For some people who have given birth, doctors prescribe drugs for a while in order to put in order the hormonal background, but someone can do without it.
Pregnancy also affects the figure of the wife. Now she is not as slim as before. And many girls after childbirth begin to limit themselves in intimacy with their man.
They embed in themselves such beliefs that I am no longer the same, that I am unworthy, he will not even look at me as he is now, and other cockroaches.

How to solve the issue in this case

A pregnant wife does not want a husband because the physiology of her body has changed a lot. But even after the appearance of the baby, a number of other questions described above may appear.

Pay attention to these nuances and you will understand what the matter is.

The task of the man in this case is to give his wife the confidence that he loves her the way she is and for him she is still his queen.
Let her know that the feelings have not yet faded away.

5. Take on some family responsibilities, give her a day off

A woman's work, business projects can take a lot of energy and strength.

And then she returns home tired, where hungry children are waiting for her. Then she still cooks in the kitchen and plus you need to wash the floors or do the laundry.

And there is nothing surprising in the fact that the wife does not want a husband and constantly complains of fatigue.

There is no question of intimacy with a loved one.

Here the guy needs to do the following:

Or give her a day off and let her just rest at home after work. When you take over all her affairs for several days, her reserves of energy will quickly be replenished.
Or at least half of what she did before at home, take on yourself. Prepare food for children and family yourself, no need to wait for your spouse to arrive.
As an example, it can be helpful to give her a relaxing massage after work.

6. Before marriage, the husband must have a sufficient amount of experience in bed.

Average man before marriage has about 6 partners. This is very little to achieve mastery in bed or become an elite.
You should just endure her brain... For no one needs cautious, insecure men who are afraid of women in bed and do not know what to do with her there.
At the initial stage, each who marry must have a sufficient number of women (10 or more).
You need to get enough experience with women. You should get the maximum experience!
It is after this that you will be able to make an informed choice in the further stages of your development.
Having a lot of women let you feel better about the woman you meet, find out how similar you are to her and how much she suits you.
As a result, having met a suitable woman, you can better calibrate and refuse her at the right time if she does not suit you.

7. Your male ego may prevent you from admitting that your spouse is not satisfied.

The husband may mistakenly believe that "I know everything."
Many husbands think of themselves as cool in bed, although they really don't care if their partner experienced pleasure or not.
Most men cannot stay in bed for a long time and everything ends very quickly. At the same time, they still consider themselves masters in bed and good husbands at the same time.
In this case, you need to at least admit to yourself that you are not perfect, and you do not know everything.
You need to be able to recognize the shortcomings, and then there is already a great incentive and motivation to work on them and change.
Look at reality with a sober eye, not through the prism of a bloated ego and self-importance (self-importance), where you think you are a tough guy.
The peasants cannot realize, it prevents them from admitting at least to themselves that there are areas in which they should be trained.

Let go of ego and self-importance. Thus, you will know what to do if the wife does not want a husband, and you will not need the advice of a psychologist at all.

8. Men don't know how a woman's body works

Women get excited very slowly. Straight down the millimeter, like on a loudspeaker.
Your foreplay can be longer if you have done everything quickly in the past.
Or if everything was too slow before, then, on the contrary, change the script. Thus, the wife will experience maximum pleasure.
Don't be afraid to appear rude or tough in bed.
Don't be afraid to dominate - women really like this.
Women love and want a man to possess them imperiously. Their whole essence is to be conquered, sought. They just love this feeling.
Live without shame or guilt for your desires and behavior. And do not bother with questions on the topic of.
You will be deeply unhappy if you suppress the masculine essence in yourself.

The better you know how your woman's body works, the deeper you get to know her and the more pleasure you can give her.

9. You shouldn't have bad breath

For women, kissing means a lot than for men.

Especially if you can kiss.

And your breath should be fresh.

There are never too many kisses.

For a woman, kissing is like cementing your emotional connection with her.

If your breath smells, then everything is clear. This prevents her from relaxing and having fun.

Do not be lazy to brush your teeth before going to bed with your beloved. And then you will no longer ask questions about why the wife does not want intimacy with her husband.

10. Allow yourself and your partner to be you in bed.

Let her be who she is.

Teach her not to be shy about making sounds in bed. Feel free to do it yourself, don't be afraid to scream.

Communicate with her during intimacy.

The dream of any person is to be with a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can satisfy your curiosity and any desires.

How to allow yourself and her to be yourself:

Let her know that you will never judge her for any desires or aspirations, and you will not label her. And then she, too, will open to you and offer to fulfill her extreme fantasies.
Do not hold any sounds in yourself, and your sensations will immediately intensify.
Don't be a soul within yourself, let out sounds. She will separately compliment you for this.
A woman will greatly appreciate this ability to open up in you. It will excite her.

For example:

I make women scream.
I make them make sounds.
I allow myself and them to be me.

My acquaintance

11. Make it a happy event, voice your fantasies with her throughout the day to anticipate

Make your upcoming night of love a happy event.

You can prepare her for this throughout the day. You can bring her into this state with words.

There are couples who constantly talk about a night in bed with each other.

They emphasize and voice their desires and are not shy about it.

Such moments throughout the day turn a woman on very much.

If you get into the habit of voicing your fantasies, it will seriously diversify your life and will not let the gray days suck you in. This will greatly strengthen your relationship.

We usually do not speak thoughts in our head. How to tell a girl that you like her, me.

Learn to speak thoughts in your head - this will increase the emotional component of things.

Learn to talk positively with her about making love during the day, with playfulness and passion! This seriously increases the attraction between you.

12. Silence is not gold, talk and communicate with her

Break the silence at least 2 times per hour during bedtime pleasures to get feedback from her.
Give a couple of compliments, flirt. Read more on flirting with a girl as well. You don't need to play silent movies.
Whatever you say, it becomes passionate when you whisper words in your woman's ear.
Lower your voice, speak in your ear. Even if you whisper to her the bus schedule to Syzran, she will still be aroused.

For example, compliments: how much you like the smell of her skin (if you really like it). Only tell the truth.

Remember and implement this. You have no reason to search the forums for a topic about why a wife does not want a husband.

13. Learn to distinguish her sounds of pain from sounds of pleasure.

Perhaps during lovemaking you hurt her, but you yourself do not even know about it.

If a wife does not want a husband because he hurts her, then naturally she can begin to avoid connection with him.

How to fix the situation:

She makes incomprehensible sounds - you will never know their meaning, if you don't ask myself.
Listen to how she moans.
If you scream loudly, and she also began to yell loudly, this does not mean that it is from pleasure.
This sound of pain is knocked out of the common cartridge. Sometimes it is impossible to distinguish it.
Therefore, in such cases, be sure to pause and ask, does it hurt her.
A woman may even be silent and not speak specifically about it, so as not to offend you or offend your male ego.

14. Your behavior afterwards is very important.

There are men who, at the end of a stormy night, like to quickly pass out, turning on the other side and snoring.

When a wife does not want a husband for the reason above, you should implement the following:

After your nightly caresses, do not go to bed right away! Even if you really want to.
Show by your actions and behavior that you value her.
Stroke her, kiss her, caress her. With a lower intensity for at least 10 minutes.
Compliment her. You can tell her how good you were together.
How you behave afterwards is very important. This is what cements the impression of you!

15. Take a trip together to rest in a new early unseen place

It is not necessary to immediately imagine Fiji or the Canary Islands.

You can leave alone just to relax. Where you can swim, sunbathe, where it's sunny.

No need to take friends, her girlfriends and anyone else with you.

Better to have a new place. The dacha option is not suitable.

There is even nothing special to do and it may not be necessary. In sunny and warm places, there is a faster approach, attraction, attraction to each other.

If the two of you were fine before that, and then shoals surfaced, a routine fell on, then it will not be a problem to solve all this there if you are two absolutely normal people.

16. Make her look at you through different angles of perception

She should not perceive you only as a husband, a keeper of the family hearth. It's boring.

She should perceive you in many ways, in different ways.

For example, you can take on several roles at the same time:

sometimes you are such a macho and a bully;
sometimes you are a kind and caring husband;
but it happens that you are an impudent guy;
but sometimes also a romantic.

What also helps to achieve this:

Interesting other clothes.
Various perfumes and perfumes.

Pros of such a different perception:

Adds the effect of surprise and unpredictability to relationships.
She always gets to know you new.
She is attracted to you more.
And there is no longer this gray triviality.

Wife doesn't want sex

Difficulty in relationships

Wife doesn't want sex

One of the main problems of men over 30 is their wife's lack of desire to have sex. Or rather, such a state of affairs when a man comes home in the evening and sees a woman who treats him with contempt. She responds to any attempts and hints of making love with a refusal, which drives the man out of herself and makes him extremely angry.

And then some begin to look for love and female care on the side, and they do it quite successfully. Others retreat into themselves and begin to gradually destroy their male pride and health. Here we are talking about evening beer, get-togethers with peasants and a complete reluctance to go home and see this sour and insipid wife, who still won't say anything good.

This situation will sooner or later lead to the destruction of the family or more serious conflicts on the basis of nervousness. Since a man cannot live without female affection and love. He starts to go crazy, becomes irritable and decides to leave the family. And we can say with confidence that this state of affairs needs to be urgently corrected.

It's okay to want to have sex with your wife.

Although the problem affects your wife's head, you yourself are suffering from it. If she really doesn’t want to have sex, and she has no desire to be with you, you will need time and energy to get to the reason for this behavior.

The mistake of many men is that they begin to look for the reason in themselves, which is categorically wrong. Remember, wanting to have sex is normal for people. If you want sex and your wife doesn't? - that is your wife's problem.

Therefore, there is no need to read magazines and articles about how fatigue and work affect your sex drive. Normal marital relationships include regular sex with the wife. If this does not happen for some reason, this is a clear sign that your union is under threat. It's not your fault, you want a normal marriage.

It is difficult to say the true reasons, but if your wife makes you feel like a maniac and sexually preoccupied person, she clearly does not respect you. This state of affairs cannot exist for a long time. Sooner or later, you will accumulate dissatisfaction, and you will find another woman.

Why the wife doesn't want to have sex

She gets tired. Some women really get tired at work or at home with children that in the evening they only have enough strength to get to the bed and slam into it. Such wives can be easily distinguished by their sleepy state, sluggish gait and sound sleep. In other words, a person gets tired so that he really doesn't need anything.

And if in the evening she has enough strength to sit and watch TV shows, sit with classmates or contact, chat with her friends or go for a walk with the girls, then this is definitely not fatigue.

She recently gave birth to a baby. After giving birth, girls experience reduced sexual desire, which can be described as follows: “You have already given birth, so watch the baby. You don't need another one yet. " And no matter how a man tries and tries to have his wife, nature puts a stop and that's it.

There are even girls who understand that their husband is bad, but cannot overpower themselves. This condition can last from 2 months to 2 years, and the woman can practically do nothing with herself.

You don't excite her. Women want to see strong and successful men with charisma and masculinity next to them. And it is difficult to grasp the line when you stop being the man of her dreams and turn into a boring roommate who brings money and occasionally surprises. Most often, it is this reason that becomes the stumbling block that destroys the family.

She found another. If a woman stopped loving her husband and found a new boyfriend, then she will not say about it right away. She will hide, wriggle and gradually accept the idea that her marriage is over. She, in essence, makes parting for herself softer and more calm. And sex is not the part that will help her wean herself from her man. Therefore, she does not do it.

What to do if your wife doesn't want sex

How can the situation be changed? If your wife says that she is too tired, and when you show your affection and desire, she begins to swear and say that you are interfering with her rest. You still need to try to change this situation and take action.

Many men begin to show care and affection, giving flowers and arranging candlelight dinners. They also help with chores around the house, tinkering with children and the like. Yes, it really will work. You will have sex. But it will be due to female gratitude, and not attraction and desire. After a while, everything will return again to a situation without sex.

She may justify such behavior that at this stage in her life, her career, family, parents or children have become more important. It sounds plausible, but it's a pure lie that hides the real reason.

You need to understand male sexuality. A woman wants and wants to have sex with a successful and strong man. The problem is not with you, but with her. She doesn't think you are sexy anymore. Therefore, you need to become more independent, self-confident and, of course, put your body in order. When you do this, she herself will climb to you, and you have to choose whether you want it or not.

You do not take offense at your wife, you do not quarrel with her, you just start to take care of yourself and make yourself better. And then she herself will run to you, because she will want and fear that another will desire you.

There are many reasons for starting a family. But basically, family life is built on love and the desire to be together. Long years of life together, everyday life, quarrels can lead to the loss of interest in a partner. What if you are tired of your wife? Is this a reason for divorce or can you try to "reanimate" feelings?

Why is my wife bored?

In this situation, a woman is looking for the culprit. It is important to understand the essence of a man. He gets tired of the monotony. Men are polygamous by nature. Therefore, if partners do not try to refresh the relationship in any way, a man in search of variety goes deep into work or looks for new emotions "on the side".

Very often, having lived for many years in marriage with one woman, men begin to "look to the left."

The main reasons why a husband is tired of his wife:

The wife is a "saw." Men do not like to be constantly reproached or taught about life. From such a woman you want to run without looking back. Moreover, a woman in such a situation may think that the truth is on her side, and the reproaches are justified. But it is worth considering whether the husband was really so guilty that he needs to be "nailed". So close to divorce. After all, every patience comes to an end sooner or later. Even strong love can be destroyed by repeated reproaches.
Perception of a man by a woman as a "wallet with money." A man has always been perceived as a breadwinner, and a woman is a hostess, a mother who is responsible for the comfort in the house. But if a woman too often asks for money from her earner, he may get tired of it. The way out of this situation is to send her to work.
Misunderstanding of the wife. Lack of understanding between partners destroys relationships and marriage. You can discuss the accumulated problems in a calm dialogue, for example, during dinner with a glass of wine.

He pays no attention to me!

Women love masculine attention when their concerns are listened to and offered help. But what if you came home from work tired, hoping to rest, and your beloved reproaches you for inattention? A man, by nature, does not focus on the little things.

He is attracted by more global affairs. He may not notice the changed shade of the hair of his beloved or new blouse. This happens not because he does not love her, but because he is tired, carried away by other thoughts, or perceives his woman as a whole, and not in the context of trifles.

A lot of men admit that they are tired of their wife for the simple reason that they are constantly "nagging"

The nature of the female sex is different. The girl tries to look good for her man, but he did not appreciate her impulse. The selfish nature demands more and more attention, your thoughts must be occupied with it. But because of work, fatigue, you may simply not have time for this. Resentments arise, reproaches appear. And sooner or later the husband comes to the conclusion that the wife is tired of her grievances. The man feels trapped. He perceives love from the side of the result, not the process.

And a woman needs to constantly feel loved, to see that she is being given attention. The result is that the wife is tired of her grievances. Better to show her that she is dear to you. Give her small gifts throughout the year, not just on special dates.

Wife tired: what to do?

Simple tips will help to improve relationships:

Why a woman doesn't want a man - the most common reasons

So, consider the most obvious cases in which a woman can avoid intimacy with her partner. You've been together too long, feelings have gone cold You have been together not for the first month and the former fuse, of course, has already been left behind. Some couples, even after several years of living together, maintain passion in their intimate relationships and "warm up" the feelings of each other, but for this you need to have a mutual desire, constantly show imagination and initiative - for many people this is almost overwhelming work. And yet it is important to note that even if you have been together for a long time, no extravaganza is happening in your relationship, and you are not doing anything in order to correct this state of affairs, this does not mean that everything is lost for your relationship. If you still live under the same roof, then you have a chance to rectify the situation. Remember that everyday life and habit have become enemies for harmony in the relationship of many couples, and this can be changed if desired. Wife is pregnant or has not yet retired from a recent birth The period of waiting for the baby and the first months of life often becomes a happy time in the life of most married couples. And yet, during these months, many spouses are forced to face some restrictions in their intimate life. Not every husband has an understanding of patience with this situation, which generates conflicts in the family and repels the woman even more. Note that abstinence from sex during pregnancy is not a woman's whim, but a serious doctor's recommendation! You can prove as much as you like that a colleague with his wife did not change the quality of intimate life with the onset of pregnancy, but do not forget that each organism is individual, and in contrast to your story, the wife can tell how her friend ended up in a hospital bed after sexual contact with husband. Sometimes, a woman can really refuse intimacy with her husband even without the guidance of a gynecologist. Perhaps she intuitively feels that this will not affect the pregnancy in the best way and be afraid for the child (forgive her this suspiciousness, she wants it to be the best), or her libido has decreased, and she really just does not want sex to disgust. The second option, indeed, is common among many pregnant women, and they cannot do anything about it. All the strength of a spouse is taken by family or work. The wife gets so tired at work or when doing family matters that she simply does not have physical strength left for the intimate sphere of life. There are women who do everything in the world, and feel great, almost not sitting down for a minute during the day. Often, such energetic people grow out of hyperactive girls. And yet, do not forget that it is not for nothing that most women are considered weak and fragile for a reason. Of course, this does not mean that they do not need to do anything at work and at home so that their husband can periodically enjoy sex with them, but still, they often really have to take on responsibilities that they cannot afford. such a problem? Option one: in the morning the wife goes to work, where she spends most of the day doing her job duties. She comes home at about the same time with her husband (even if a little earlier). After work, she stands at the stove, cooks dinner, does minor chores, checks a child's homework, or does anything other than just sitting on the couch. What is your husband doing after work? He is resting, believing that the spouse is engaged in quite easy "female duties". After resting and gaining strength after a working day, a man is ready for sexual exploits, while his life partner dreams of only one thing - to sleep. Some husbands are outraged that sex is not work, “lie down and have fun,” and yet a woman thinks that - whatever one may say, at least some physical activity should be shown. If a woman gets very tired during the day, then thoughts about intimacy do not excite her at all, and the most pleasant picture she can imagine is taking a hot bath and a sweet dream.

You are no longer an attractive macho to her. Your appearance has changed significantly since the first dates with your spouse. And we are not talking about natural age-related changes - gray hair or wrinkles. Surely, you know examples of how, with age, some men, on the contrary, acquire a special attraction for women. Many celebrities can serve as an example, including Robert Downey Jr., George Clooney, Tom Cruise and others. These men did not spit on themselves, and still remain the heroes of women's dreams. Would you say you look sexy and enticing to the opposite sex (not just your wife)? Some people, both men and women, after getting married, stop monitoring their appearance, believing that since they have found a second half, they no longer need to attract the attention of other potential partners. This is a big mistake, because if you stopped taking care of yourself, then, for sure, you have lost attractiveness not only for other women, but also for your wife. The wife is often not satisfied after sex Some women talk about this to their spouse right at the beginning of a relationship or at a time when the quality of sex life with him begins to deteriorate. If a man does not pay due attention to this problem, then over time, having lost hope that the situation may change, the wife stops expressing her claims or hinting at them, and instead just tries to avoid intimacy, not feeling satisfaction from her. Note that if a woman does not get real pleasure from having sex with some man, then she considers this time with him to be just wasted time. For the first months or even years, the wife may not show this, but later it will become more difficult for her to hide her disappointment and irritation. The wife has a lover This is the saddest development of events that can be for you in this situation. Of course, it is quite difficult to justify a woman who decided to have a relationship on the side, but still you should not shift the responsibility in this situation solely to the partner. Think well, could it be that in some way you are also to blame for the fact that your wife has a lover? Whether you both were satisfied with the quality of your family sex life; Did you give your wife the attention she needs? Have you yourself been seen in the past in some kind of affair on the side? Did you create an unbearable emotional atmosphere in the house, as a result of which the wife could start looking for an outlet on the side? Can you say that next to you she looked like a really happy woman? Give yourself an honest answer to these questions. If your wife does have a lover, then that explains why she avoids intimacy with you. In the case of betrayal, men and women behave differently. A man can be spurred on by his affair on the side, as a result of which intimate life with his wife becomes richer and more diverse. Women act very differently - they often focus their attention on only one man. In this case, we are talking about the lover. Having received from a new partner what she was lacking in marriage, a woman can sincerely fall in love with this man and even believe that having sex with her husband, she is cheating on “her man.” Anyway, if a woman nevertheless decided on this step, you have a low chance of improving family relationships, and, most likely, for a number of reasons, in the end you will still have to break up.

What to do if the wife refuses to be intimate with her husband

Of course, such behavior on the part of the spouse cannot be unreasonable. Try to figure out what exactly is dictated by the unwillingness of your wife to enter into intimacy with you. In fact, there may be several options.

Find out the reasons for not wanting to sleep together

The easiest way to clarify this question is by asking his wife directly. Find the right time to talk. This conversation should not start when you or your spouse are annoyed or either of you is feeling tired. In this state of affairs, most likely, you will face either a scandal, or a crumpled and completely unproductive conversation. It would be most appropriate to invite your spouse to a romantic dinner, and in a relaxed atmosphere to raise a question that worries you. Please note that your conversation should not sound like an addicted interrogation - thus, you risk only ruining the evening. After a glass of wine, when your wife is relaxed and happy in the evening, invite them to talk about your concerns. Explain right away that you are not making claims to her, but just want to understand in which direction you should move in order for your family life to become better and to suit both of you. If your spouse is not in the mood for a conversation, do not pressure her or be aggressive. Close the topic and don't let this evening end badly. Undoubtedly, the wife will appreciate such a step, and next time she will be more open with you.

Take on all male responsibilities

Often, the reasons why a woman refuses to have sex with her husband lie on the surface, but the man simply does not want to notice them, quite rightly not seeing the connection between the broken refrigerator and the unwillingness of the wife to go to intimacy. And yet, it is useful for many husbands to know that if they refuse to take on men's responsibilities with enviable regularity, delaying the solution of the problem as much as possible, then, sadly, the woman stops seeing him as a man. As a result, this applies to other areas of life - not just household. As soon as you begin to monitor the health of the appliances in the house, do not shy away from the requests of your wife and your obvious responsibilities, you will begin to notice how the attitude of your wife is gradually beginning to change. As a result, the solution to your problem may be much easier than you think.

Help her in everyday life and with children

For some time now, it so happened that some families (mainly at the suggestion of a man) divided responsibilities into male and female. what does it usually look like? A man once a season nails a nail and repairs a flaccid TV, and a woman devotes several hours of her life every day to cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing, doing homework with children, and the like. This situation is tolerable when a woman is in the status of a housewife, and a man is the only breadwinner in the family. Nevertheless, such situations often occur in families where the husband and wife work almost on an equal footing, only the husband is resting after work, and the spouse "takes over the second shift." Over time, a woman begins to understand that in such a marriage it is very difficult for her, and begins to think about divorce as a "liberation". For many men, such a problem seems far-fetched, and in the meantime, more and more women feel unhappy and tired, and, accordingly, in this position, it is quite difficult to inflame a passion for their spouse.

Make her feel loved and desired

Let the beloved woman, being next to you, feel that she once did not marry you in vain, and now she is as desirable for you as at the very beginning of the relationship. How can this be achieved? First of all, do not forget about the compliments that many husbands eventually begin to neglect in family life. Pay attention if your wife has a new hairstyle or simply styled her hair in an unusual way; if she smells of a pleasant perfume; talk about how beautiful her smile and eyes are (this is nice to hear not only at the initial stages of dating). In general, compliment not only her culinary skills, as is often the case in marriage - "The borsch was especially successful today", "The meat was baked well", "What a magnificent pie!" and so on - but also her appearance. Even if you do not notice any special changes in your wife, say pleasant words to her - this can become a great motivation for her to become better and more beautiful, because she will know that “the husband notices”.

Compliment and give flowers

Compliments have already been mentioned, but this is exactly the topic that requires special attention, and should be remembered not casually, but learned well - it is really very important for a woman to hear words of admiration from a man. Have you ever thought about how a lover usually appears in the life of a woman? Often it looks like this: the wife is tired of everyday life and has long ceased to feel the attention and delight from her husband. All of their topics come down to children, food, cleaning. taking out the trash, repairing and other topics devoid of any romance. Then a "little miracle" happens in a woman's life: a man tells her that she has luxurious hair or eyes "the color of cornflowers." From that moment on, she begins to think about these words, about this man - she recalls that she is not only a caring mother, wife and mistress, but also a woman who can evoke romantic thoughts in a man. If she has enough romance and family life, then she will simply ignore any characteristic of her smile, eyes and melodious laughter. Give your beloved flowers flowers, make unusual surprises for her, talk about how loved and desired she is, pay attention to changes in appearance, express delight, speak affectionate words, and you will become the best man for her, Whom it is impossible not to wish for.

Pleasantly surprise her in bed with new caresses or a pose.

Over time, the fulfillment of marital duty for many couples becomes somewhat mechanical. Everything goes according to the "knurled scheme", and takes a minimum amount of time or looks rather monotonous. Each intercourse is similar to the previous one, and practically does not cause any trepidation, both in the husband and in the wife. You are quite capable of rectifying this situation. Please note that you should not start new experiments when your wife is collapsing after a hard day at work. It is best to arrange a romantic evening for the two of you, relax with a glass of wine, "warm up" the woman with gentle words, and only then get down to business. This evening, make yourself an installation - first of all, you want to please your wife in bed. Surely, during your married life, you managed to study the erogenous zones of your beloved. Now you can experience new affection in these areas, after watching an erotic film (choose a project that is popular with a female audience). You can also read the relevant literature or ask your beloved if she has any fantasies in this regard. Experiment with the pose, but this night should not be like a beginner acrobat's course - you should not try many innovations at once, in such conditions it is quite difficult for a woman to concentrate and start enjoying the process.

What Orthodoxy Says About This

The Orthodox Church encourages the fulfillment of marital duty - this is a natural occurrence between loving spouses. It is also worth noting that the church ranks betrayal as sins and, therefore, treats them negatively. In addition, any priest will tell you that it is better to abstain from intimacy during fasting, although there are no strict instructions on this either - such abstinence should be a mature decision of a husband and wife, which is not dictated by a fear of punishment. What recommendations can you give to spouses experiencing a crisis in intimate relationships?

Talk to each other.

A change of scenery.

Notice your mistakes.