The husband was present at the birth. Husband at birth. What a man's eyes see during childbirth

11.04.2019

In what cases can the husband be present at the birth?

The situation when future parents go to the hospital together does not surprise anyone today. Men go to birth according to the most different reasons: from the desire to help his wife to banal curiosity, and women expect from their husbands, first of all, a “feeling of a shoulder”, a sense of support and security. Be that as it may, the presence of a spouse (and any partner in childbirth - for example, mothers) is truly justified only if he can provide the woman in labor not just moral support, but real help.

Ideally, the “giving birth” father should have his own field of activity and know what to do at each stage of childbirth. And for this, he should study in advance not only the theoretical side of the issue (that is, get at least general idea about how children are born), but also to master some practical skills: the simplest methods of analgesic massage, ancestral breath, special positions and exercises that will help the expectant mother. Together, the couple will be able to go through the process of childbirth in the most natural way, even without anesthesia and medications.

Great help in preparing for the birth of a baby can be provided to future parents by courses under the program " Partner births". They are oriented towards married couples and will help partners to master in practice "pain-relieving" positions, exercises, breathing techniques in advance.

The future dad should be present only at normal births. If the pregnancy was not easy and there is a risk of complications during the birth of the baby, it is better for the husband to wait for the news at home. It will be difficult for a person who is far from medicine, who is also loving and anxious, to adequately assess the situation, and his presence can excite a woman even more and interfere with doctors.

A man who is ready to participate in childbirth:

sincerely wants to be useful to his wife;
helps her during pregnancy,
attends ultrasound and childbirth preparation courses with his wife,
has a good idea of the course of childbirth;
not prone to panic or pressure on others,
able to control his emotions.

Husband help during contractions

On initial stage childbirth, the cervix, under the influence of contractions, gradually opens, preparing to release the baby out. The future dad should prepare for the fact that this will take a lot of time: up to 10-14 hours for women who are expecting their first child, and 6-8 hours for mothers with experience. Usually, part of this period is spent on preparations and the road to the hospital, and it goes quite easily, because the first contractions last only 15-20 seconds with an interval of 15-20 minutes.

By the time the expectant mother is at the disposal of doctors, uterine contractions occur more often and become more pronounced. To decrease discomfort, with the approval of doctors, you can use the most different ways: walk, lie or sit in any comfortable position, walk along the maternity block or corridor, go to the bath or shower (if the maternity hospital allows it). And the task of the partner is to help in this, sensitively following all the desires of the woman.

Active behavior during childbirth not only reduces pain, but also helps the baby to pass through the pelvis more easily. Mom will intuitively choose the position in which the baby's head will move away from the pelvic wall and put less pressure on it, reducing pain. In search of this optimal position, the help of a spouse will be indispensable. A woman can hang on her husband's neck, bending at the waist; press your back against him and rotate your hips, as if dancing (the husband at this time gently strokes her stomach in a clockwise direction); sit back on his knees apart (or squat between his knees); get on all fours, resting your elbows on the bed, window sill or chair and allowing the man to massage his back at this time. If the woman wants to lie down, the partner can lift her legs (in the supine position) or one of them (in the side position). Many expectant mothers during contractions are helped by a large inflatable ball (fitball): sitting on it, you can slightly bounce, rotate your pelvis, with the support of a partner, lie on it with your chest or top back, relaxing the lower back.

Another effective method anesthesia - massage. The husband can massage his wife's back, palms or fingertips in a circular motion, starting from the shoulder area, and then going down along the spine to the lumbar region. Another option is tapping with your fingertips on pain points or pressing your fists on the sacrum (though some women find touching the lower back unpleasant). You can also massage the stomach, gently stroking it with the fingertips of both hands from the bottom up, starting from the middle, and then smoothly and slowly moving up the sides.

Both during contractions and during the period of attempts, it is important for the expectant mother to breathe correctly. In this process, the man is assigned the role of a conductor, making sure that the "musician" does not stray from the rhythm. Breathing exercises reduce discomfort, switch the attention of a woman, but most importantly - increase the supply of blood with oxygen. The principle is simple: when a contraction approaches, you should take a deep breath, during uterine contraction - breathe often and superficially, “like a dog”, at the end - take a deep breath and exhale, and then try to relax and rest until the next contraction. At this time, the future dad should actively breathe with his wife, supporting her with his example, but at the same time, not insisting if she intuitively chooses a different type of breathing that is more comfortable for her. By the way, in the intervals between contractions, the spouse should also take the opportunity and take a break in order to conserve his strength: the emotional and physical reserve should be enough for the most stressful period - attempts.

By the end of the 1st period, the cervix gradually opens up to 10 cm. The contractions become more painful, repeat every 1-2 minutes and last 60-90 seconds. With the approach of full disclosure, a woman may have a desire to push, but it is too early to do this (the midwife will point this out to the expectant mother). To restrain the attempt, you need to breathe shallow and short, and the husband can cool his wife's face wet wipe Or wet your lips with water. By this time, women are usually tired and start acting restless. It is very important that a man, on the contrary, gather himself as much as possible, be calm - at least outwardly - and literally radiate positive emotions (strictness is the lot of obstetricians, but not a birth partner). Positive attitudes (“everything is going great”, “you are doing great”, “we are together”) and, of course, words of love - this is what a woman needs at this difficult moment. Only a close person can give that feeling of warmth, sincerity, affection, which no one, even the most professional doctor, is able to provide.

Husband's actions during pushing

The second stage of labor - pushing - begins after uterine os fully opens and the baby begins to move through the birth canal. When his head turns completely and stands with the back of his head under the mother's womb, it's time to push. This period takes 30-60 minutes during the first birth and 15-30 minutes for repeated ones. In most maternity hospitals, at this time, a woman is placed on a special birth bed with a raised head end - this makes it easier for doctors to follow the process. At the same time, many modern clinics allow other options, and this is another situation where Strong arms men will be very helpful. For example, with attempts in a squatting position, contractions are intensified due to the influence of gravity, but the woman's legs quickly get tired. The load can be reduced by placing hands on the shoulders of the partner and the midwife - supporting the woman, they will take on some of the weight.

Another task of the husband is to set the rhythm of the attempts together with the midwife. The expectant mother must full chest air and push three times in one contraction, directing the energy “to the bottom”, to the perineum zone. If a woman gives birth lying on the bed, she holds on to special handles and rises, trying to see her navel. The husband supports his wife's head so that she is tilted as much as possible to her chest, pushes with her and gently strokes her temples, cheeks and forehead. As soon as the baby's head appears, we can assume that the main work is done. Literally in a couple of attempts the whole body comes out, and happy parents can breathe a sigh of relief and remember the time of the birth of their crumbs.

Final stage of partner birth

The long-awaited birth of a baby is not the end of childbirth. Now the placenta, umbilical cord and membranes. As a rule, this requires 1-2 attempts. With the appearance of a repeated desire in the young mother to push, the husband again helps her, supporting her head. At this time, the neonatologist takes care of the baby: they cut the umbilical cord (in some maternity hospitals, dad is allowed to do this), clean the skin and nasal passages, examine, measure height and weight (dad can also sometimes participate in this), swaddle. Then the newborn is applied to the mother's breast and, according to the spouses, one of the most touching moments in the life of the family begins - the first feeding of the baby. Further development events again depend on the rules of the maternity hospital: the newly-made father either leaves home, or goes to the postpartum ward with his family, taking care of the baby.

Previously, husbands were not allowed to come close to the hospital when the wife went to give birth long-awaited son or daughter. Today, everything is not so strict, and the spouse can freely attend the birth and help his soul mate in such a difficult test for her. Partnership childbirth is gaining more and more popularity every year among modern couples. This is due to the fact that the husband is a close person and can support when it is very difficult, hold the hand, call a doctor or midwife. But not all men are eager to witness the birth of their child. And not every doctor will allow you to take part in such a complex matter.

What can be the presence of a husband?

Both a man and a woman should be aware that partner childbirth is not just the presence of a husband nearby, but a responsible process where both should help each other. Therefore, before deciding to take such a step, weigh the pros and cons and decide for sure whether you are ready for this.

There are dads who stay with their wife from beginning to end, are present during childbirth and actively help both the wife and the doctors. Some are just there during the contractions, and when it comes to the birth itself, they go out into the corridor and there they wait for the end of the whole process. Some want to take part in cutting the umbilical cord, and then hold the baby in their arms. Most dads don't take part in anything at all and walk into the room when it's over.

Even at the stage of pregnancy, both must definitely decide what part the man will take. He must understand the gravity of the matter.

The presence of the future father is also welcome during caesarean section . A man can participate in the operation and later help his wife with the child until she recovers from anesthesia and gains strength.

How can dad help? (Video)

A husband in childbirth can be of great benefit, supporting his wife when she is so hard and hurt. He can distract her with something during the fights, support her psychologically. After the husband sees what trials his wife has to endure, he often becomes an even more serious and responsible family man and a good father.

Usually Active participation the father in the process of childbirth and his help to the mother in caring for the child brings them even closer, and the family becomes stronger.

If there is not a single doctor nearby, everyone is busy, and the wife feels bad or she is about to give birth, no matter how her husband takes care of her, finds and calls the right specialist, will help you get to the delivery room, lie down on the table, deliver the necessary things.

Are there any downsides?

Many women believe that if a husband helps her during pregnancy, then he is ready to go with her to the end. But this is far from true. Not everyone is able to see the entire process of childbirth. Let a loved one be around, but he understands that he cannot really help in any way, and believes that it is not easier for you to be with him. And not every woman wants to see her husband when she feels bad. Sometimes it is better to experience and endure all the torment without his presence.

Very often there were cases when a large number blood during childbirth, men lost consciousness. Then the medical staff gets more work, because you also need to save your husband.

Sometimes, during contractions and childbirth, a woman thinks about how ugly she is now, with tousled hair, and in this form her husband sees her. From worries about appearance the future mother may have a delayed birth, and then you have to put the missus out the door.

Unfortunately, there are many cases when, after partner childbirth, the family collapses.. A man is very impressed by everything he sees and can for a long time restore in his memory the events that he experienced. Women endure everything more easily and forget, they simply have no time to sit and remember, because more important things have appeared -

But not everyone is that impressive. There are daddies who take a video camera with them to childbirth and shoot all the time. This is very annoying not only for doctors, but also for a woman in labor, who at these moments is not at all up to fun, she needs help and support, and not constant irritation due to the fact that her husband runs around with a camera and still asks to pose.

When it is possible and impossible to decide on partner childbirth

Various factors affect a man and push him to be present during childbirth. Someone watched the video of the baby being born and wanted to be present, realizing that he could withstand all this, someone loves his wife so much that she simply cannot imagine how she will suffer alone without him. Other dads have already boasted to someone how great and interesting it is to take part in the birth of their own baby.

Women who want their husband to be present at childbirth think that it will be easier for them to endure pain and suffering. But, if, while still pregnant, you experience fear of childbirth, this will certainly be passed on to your spouse, and he will not only be present, but will not even want to be close. Therefore, before talking about partner childbirth, you first need to set yourself up for positive and be sure that everything will go well.

Don't think that after joint childbirth your relationship in without fail will become better and stronger, the husband will see your torment and will love and appreciate you more. Often the exact opposite happens.

But even if you firmly decided to go to childbirth together, subconsciously not everyone is ready for this and there are several reasons why you need to abandon this idea:

If a man is too impressionable nature. Don't force him to come with you, as you may regret this decision later.
If a woman, even during contractions, is constantly worried about her appearance, she is afraid that her husband will see her unmarked and fall out of love. If you think that a husband should watch you only during the parade, why take him to give birth? In the maternity hospital, you certainly will not have time to put yourself in order, dress up and make up.
A woman wants her husband to see how she suffers. This is wrong and cruel to the spouse.

You can go to the birth together if:

The man himself offered it to you, he is sure that he will stand it. Well, of course, if you don't mind.
If your husband was very supportive of you during pregnancy, he went with you for examinations, ultrasounds.
The husband is ready for all the difficulties of joint childbirth, he took special courses and knows what to do in a difficult situation.

Feel free to go for this if you just perfect family. Everything is always good with you on a personal level, you do not have a soul in each other, and such a thing as childbirth simply cannot take place without the participation of your husband.

Necessary conditions for joint birth

By law, the husband or any other relative has every right to be present at the birth and take part in the process itself. The attendee is issued a permit stating that:

The wife gave her consent;
The medical staff also agree;
All required documents and certificates are available;
The person present does not suffer from any infectious diseases;
IN delivery room there are all the necessary conditions for partner births;
There are no contraindications that prevent joint childbirth.

It must be remembered that doctors have every right to prevent the presence of a husband, as this may interfere normal course birth process and work of the medical staff. Childbirth is a very responsible matter and not every doctor wants someone to stand next to him and breathe down his neck or run around the ward.

You can draw up a power of attorney, which confirms that the husband is allowed by law to accompany his wife from the beginning to the end of the birth process - then no one can refuse you. Such paper can be issued to any relative or girlfriend who has reached the age of majority. But remember that by proxy, this person has every right to make decisions for you regarding medical intervention in case you fail. Therefore, discuss all the nuances with someone you trust.

The child's father should not be allowed into the delivery room if he is just interested in seeing, but at the same time he does not even know what his reaction to what he sees will be. This will only add to the hassle for you and the doctors. Do not drag your husband by force to the hospital if you see that he really does not just not want to, but is even scared.

If the husband firmly stands on his participation, but this only makes it worse for you, convince him and in no case allow him to be around, he will only make you nervous with his presence, and this can negatively affect childbirth and the child.

If your family is on the verge of a divorce, you should not assume that childbirth will bring you closer. You are very much mistaken.

The husband must pass everything necessary: for HIV, hepatitis and syphilis, undergo a fluorography and visit a therapist. All certificates have an expiration date of no more than three months.

Each couple explains their desire to give birth together in different ways. Someone thinks that everything will go easier and faster this way, for someone it is important that the child, having been born, immediately gets acquainted not only with mom, but also with dad, so that from the first minutes of life he feels like a family . Often this decision “ripens” after the future parents attend pregnancy courses together, and sometimes the father decides to go to the maternity hospital with his wife spontaneously, literally at the very last moment. But most often, future parents plan everything in advance and reason like this: we spent the whole pregnancy together, went through many trials, and it would be strange to leave at the most crucial moment. Moreover, it is during childbirth that a woman often feels especially helpless, and she needs her husband's support more than ever.

You should not go to give birth together just because it is fashionable or because your friends did it. The birth of a child is a joyful event, but at the same time it is a crucial stage in the life of every family. Roles are changing, relationships between spouses are changing, in fact, a restructuring is taking place within the family. And only a conscious, free decision to jointly help the child to be born will benefit both him and his parents. Therefore, when planning a partner birth, it makes sense to discuss your expectations in advance and find out how much they coincide with the partner's ideas.

Many men think about accompanying their wives, but they are stopped by myths that are firmly planted in the mass consciousness. Despite the fact that times have changed, they still remain relevant. Surely, you are familiar with the chilling stories about how one man fainted after seeing the process of childbirth, and the other lost interest in his wife forever. As a rule, nothing like this actually happens. Any normal man understands that the behavior of the wife in a normal setting and in the delivery room will be different. Of course, sometimes there are overly impressionable representatives strong half humanity, and not all couples are ready for joint childbirth, since they suggest enough high level closeness and understanding.

Obviously, attending a birth is not an entertainment event. However, there is nothing shocking about it. In addition, most husbands, especially on later dates pregnancy, and so inevitably face female physiology every day. In addition, if at some point the tension becomes completely unbearable, nothing prevents a man from taking a time out and leaving the delivery room.

How can a husband help during childbirth?

Most women who have given birth with their husband say that his help was invaluable. After all, childbirth is not only attempts, as they like to show in the movies. This is the final and most dynamic stage, and all generic activity, as a rule, it takes not an hour or two, but 6-8 hours, sometimes it even drags on up to 12 hours. Even a contracted doctor will not sit next to you during this entire period. And the husband will be, he will be able to bring water, cheer up, give an anesthetic massage, help to stand up or sit down, distract him with a conversation in between contractions. In a word, will be able to support you. In addition, no woman can foresee how she will behave during childbirth, whether she will adequately respond to what is happening, how she will feel later. So the presence is near loved one will be superfluous.

Let's see how specifically a husband can help each stage of childbirth.

Childbirth with husband: the first period

This period lasts from the beginning of the first contractions to the full disclosure of the cervix. The hardest part of this phase is pain in the abdomen and sacrum associated with contractions.

Partner can:

measure the time from one contraction to the start of the next (this information is very important, since the frequency of contractions indicates the degree of cervical dilatation);
keep the woman calm, do not let her get confused and panic, as this can negatively affect the entire process of childbirth;
help a woman relax between contractions, take a break;
perform with the mother special exercises, contributing to a faster and painless flow of the birth process;
moisten lips with water;
remind her that every hour she needs to go to the toilet (this is necessary for the normal contraction of the muscles of the uterus);
breathe correctly with a woman during contractions;
do anesthetic massage (massage the abdomen, sacrum, etc.);
if necessary, call a doctor, and also be interested in what and why manipulations are carried out, drugs are administered, etc .;
decide on pain relief if the woman is unable to do so herself.

Childbirth with husband: second period

At this stage of labor, contractions become longer, stronger and more frequent. At the beginning of this phase, you should already be in the hospital. The second period lasts from full disclosure of the cervix until the birth of the child. During this stage, attempts are added to contractions - arbitrary contractions of the muscles of the anterior abdominal wall. Thanks to the attempts, the child moves down through the small pelvis.

Partner can:

control breathing, applying the techniques mastered in preparation for childbirth;
during attempts to help a woman take comfortable posture, if necessary;
hold her hand, cheer her up, wipe the sweat;
duplicate the instructions of doctors, because it often happens that during childbirth a woman panics and stops hearing what strangers say to her. And the words of a loved one manage to penetrate her mind. Many note that a command repeated in a native voice comes faster than the words of an unfamiliar doctor;
periodically inform future mother about how the baby is progressing;
cut the umbilical cord as directed by the midwife.

Childbirth with husband: third period

During the third stage of labor, the uterus continues to contract, the placenta separates from the walls of the uterus and then comes out.

Partner can:

put the baby on the woman's chest;
capture the first minutes with a newborn;
congratulate my mother and thank the doctors.

It must be remembered that childbirth is a long process, and at this time it is important for a woman to be not alone, but together with a close, beloved person.

How to prepare for partner childbirth?

As you can see, a man in childbirth can be very useful. However, if he does not know anything about the specifics of childbirth or, worse than that, goes to them for the sake of satisfying curiosity or under duress - in this case, his presence is more likely to harm than to benefit. Therefore, it is important to prepare the future dad in advance. As a rule, courses for pregnant women have special classes for men, where they tell how childbirth will take place and how they can help at each stage. Such knowledge helps men feel more confident, because, as they say, forewarned is forearmed. The course teaches the basic principles of emergency assistance(psychological and physical) and special massage and breathing techniques. Although, as practice shows, most of all, at the time of childbirth, a woman needs psychological support.

Many men are wary of childbirth, even afraid of them, although they often do not admit it. This does not characterize them at all. bad husbands and fathers. Psychologists believe that such fears and unconscious resistance are often associated with the peculiarities of upbringing and attitudes towards such issues in his family. That is why it is important to devote enough time and attention to preparing the future dad for participation in childbirth.

If you attended the course without your spouse, then tell him about the stages of childbirth (emphasizing that deviations from the norm are possible), as well as what problems you may have to face. It should also be mentioned that because of pain, your behavior can change drastically. It seems obvious, but this case it is better not to lose sight of a single detail. A man must be prepared for an unexpected "turn of events."

What to provide for joint childbirth?

In most maternity hospitals, the husband is allowed to be present at the birth, there is no need to pay for it. But this point is better to discuss where you plan to give birth. There are times when partner births are not allowed. Sometimes it's forbidden internal rules maternity hospital, also usually the husband is not allowed if the development of the child is accompanied by any pathology and it is likely that the birth process may be complicated and will require surgical intervention. If it is initially known that a woman will give birth by caesarean section, joint birth is also not carried out, since this abdominal operation and the presence of outsiders during it is inappropriate.

Each maternity hospital has its own list of examinations that a man needs to undergo before he is allowed into the delivery room. Usually they are tested for syphilis (RW), HIV, hepatitis B and C (HBS, HCV). Sometimes they ask to do a fluorography and bring the conclusion of the therapist about general condition health. In some maternity hospitals, clothes are given out to the future dad, but somewhere you can bring your own ( cotton trousers, T-shirt, socks and rubber slippers). They also sometimes require a photocopy of your passport. You are allowed to take photo and video equipment, water and even food with you. By the way, many couples forget about the latter from excitement when they are going to the hospital, and then young father I have to quickly look for something to eat. Please note that the listed list of tests and things is generalized: each maternity hospital has its own rules, and they need to be clarified in advance.

How does joint childbirth affect a man?

It largely depends on the mood of the man and why the couple chose this type of childbirth. For example, if this is a way to solve any intra-family problems, then as a result they will most likely be harmed. In no case should childbirth be used as a factor designed to smooth out sharp corners. Some women try to get their husbands involved in childbirth, hoping that seeing their wife suffer will make him show more respect and love her more. But most often, with such a formulation of the question, all that intensifies in a man is a sense of guilt. Therefore, keep in mind that manipulations, in principle, harm relationships, and especially in such an important matter as the birth of a child.

If a man participates in childbirth, based on his sincere desire, then there is a high probability that this process will have on him positive influence. Any psychologist will tell you that Team work, respect and trust in each other - this is the "cement" that holds the bricks together, from which the "building" of relationships is built. And in childbirth, all these elements are present in full. It has also been proven that a man who has been in childbirth develops a paternal instinct faster. The sooner he gets to know his child, the sooner he realizes that he has become a father. Indeed, unlike a woman who is one with the baby for nine long months, the husband decides mainly material matters. As a result, many men admit that they are fully aware of their paternity only at the moment when the child begins to speak. Joint childbirth can speed up this process, as dad immediately feels his involvement in what is happening. In addition, he can cut the umbilical cord and feel that he helped the newborn to become independent person and this is very important.

Childbirth with a husband: pros and cons

Joint childbirth is most likely for you if:

you are used to openly discussing everything that worries you;
you are not ashamed to get sick and look at the second half in the best way;
V critical situations a man mobilizes, acts reasonably and does not give in to panic;
you are ready to share equally all the responsibility and care for the baby.

It is better to refuse joint childbirth if:

you are not used to sharing experiences;
it is generally accepted in the family that women have their own secrets and childbirth - a purely feminine affair;
one of the partners doubts whether it is worth giving birth together;
a woman is used to solving all problems herself;
a man is emotional and prone to panic, does not know how to control himself;
the man is very impatient and cannot stand a long wait;
future dad used to being the center of attention, and the situation when he should be on the sidelines makes him uncomfortable;
the spouse is infantile and does not know how to take responsibility.

Every seventh Belarusian woman today gives birth together with a partner. Most often, expectant mothers take their husbands with them, and not girlfriends, sisters or mothers. We talked about the pros and cons of partner childbirth with women who have already given birth, and the obstetrician-gynecologist Elena Kapustina.

Elena Kapustina
head of the maternity ward of the 6th city clinical hospital Minsk

The frequency of partner births is increasing from year to year. People are happy to come to maternity hospitals together. This is how the whole civilized world gives birth, and this is how we strive to do it. Expectant parents are required to attend childbirth preparation courses. In our maternity hospital, this is 11 classes. A married couple receives information about how to behave in childbirth, when to come to the hospital and how the process of giving birth to a baby will take place.

Approximately 95% of men in partner births are next to their spouses for the entire period: from admission to the emergency room to the birth of a child in the delivery room.

Childbirth lasts from 6 to 12 hours, such a time is necessary for full disclosure cervix. If the birth is partner, then the man helps the woman survive this difficult moment. They are in the antenatal ward together, trying to do everything they learned in the courses. Proper breathing, available elements of massage, which the partner mastered in the courses, communication, support. During this time, midwives and doctors get to know the future parents more closely. By the time of delivery, it becomes clear to both doctors and partners whether it is advisable specific man go on or not, whether he can help his wife. Even if the future dad did not go to the delivery room, but expects the birth of a baby in the children's ward, the wife always feels his presence nearby.

Task medical staff- establish good trusting relationship with a married couple.

- But not everyone today wants to give birth together, are there any disadvantages in partner childbirth?

There are no downsides to partnerships. However, you need to understand that each pair has its own characteristics. family life. If a woman knows for sure that her husband for some reason does not want to be present at the birth, then it is not necessary. It turns out that in this particular family, life is arranged in this way and doctors cannot and should not influence the opinion about partner childbirth. Sometimes couples ripen to partnership for the second or third time. This is fine.

Now partner births are often chosen not only by mature, but also by young couples. Partnership in childbirth for future fathers is a rather difficult physical and mental test. The dominant should be the desire of the spouse to help his wife.

The doctor is sure that in partner childbirth there is nothing supernatural, incredible and impossible for two loving people expecting the birth of a child. Each family has the right to decide whether to organize partner childbirth or not.

Belarusians are less likely to choose girlfriends, sisters or mothers as birth partners. More often it is future fathers, and this trend pleases.

103.by asked women who have already given birth to babies on their own, without the presence of partners, about what young mothers themselves think about this.

Anastasia

My son is 2 years old. I think that in the issue of childbirth, the comfort of the woman herself and, probably, the relationship in a couple are important. If she needs the support of her husband, and the man is fully aware of what he is doing, I don’t see anything wrong with that.

Anastasia's own experience supports this view. The girl says that she was comfortable during the fights to be in the ward alone. In this half-sleep/half-awake state, she only occasionally answered the doctor's questions about her well-being.

I think if my husband was next to me, I would somehow feel his excitement, tension. I would also, probably, feeling his pity, I myself would feel sorry for myself more. I know that many are pleased and need someone to hold their hand during childbirth or say something like “be patient a little more, my girl.” I absolutely didn't need it. The midwife's strict and monosyllabic commands forced me to pull myself together and concentrate.

The girl thinks that she still does not want the presence of her husband at the next birth. Although I would not refuse the opportunity to see each other immediately after them. It would also be great if he could look at the baby after birth. This is what Anastasia really lacked.

Alexandra

Our baby is 1 year and 7 months old. I think that childbirth is a difficult and intimate event. The male psyche can be problematic to perceive all the "charms" of contractions and attempts. I want me to remain in my husband’s head as a “princess”, kind and gentle creature, and not disheveled, swearing aunt.

Alexandra admits that her birth was simple. However, if there was a partner nearby, then her concentration and confidence could be shaken.

With me in the antenatal ward, two girls suffered, screamed and, sorry, defecated. With such a spouse would definitely not want to associate the birth of his child. Maybe I was just lucky with the maternity hospital and obstetricians, but the second, third and subsequent times I will trust only myself and the medical staff. Real men have no place at women's parties. Let him change a diaper, rock a screamer to sleep at night, but childbirth should be left to women.

Maria

My husband and I have two children. Daughter is 6 years old, son is 4 years old. I am sure that some men may not be mentally prepared for the sensations that a woman experiences. Therefore, everyone has the right to decide this issue within the family. Future fathers only assume what happens during childbirth.

There is an opinion that a man who has been in childbirth may lose desire for a woman whom he recognized from the “other” side.

I do not believe in this. So, there was such a desire. Seriously, a truly intimate relationship as intimate as childbirth will only bring you closer. I would like my husband to be present. We planned the second birth as partners, but I had an emergency caesarean, our plans did not come true. I think a man can be incredibly supportive of a woman, but for this you need to go through a full training and actually understand what you have to go through. I wouldn’t take a friend for partner childbirth, but I would take care of my mother.

Photo: Irina Zabirashko and from personal archive heroines

The third important point in partner childbirth is the feeling of the future father himself. Men who were not present at the birth of their children, as a rule, begin to feel connected with them much later, when the child begins to show signs of consciousness and it is already possible to talk with him about something.

In the first months, some fathers are even afraid to take a newborn in their arms, imagining it as some kind of “fragile toy” that is easy to break. Paternal instinct in such men for a long time dozing, even though they themselves do not admit it, fearing to offend their wives or seem like some kind of monsters. But women always feel the estrangement between father and child that sometimes arises in such situations.

Worst of all, dads often shift all the responsibility of caring for a baby onto the shoulders of their exhausted wives. Men who do not feel kinship with the baby can be very burdened by their duties. Later, when the child grows up and begins to show children's ingenuity and delight parents with their first successes, the father can feel pride in his baby and gradually imbued with fatherly love for him.

With partner childbirth, a man immediately plunges into the process. He sees the suffering of the mother, in a sense, he experiences them himself. Being in such a situation as an outside observer does not work. Sometimes the baby generally sees the father first, and not the mother. All this gives a man a very valuable sense of belonging to the birth of a child.

In fathers who take part in partner births, a deep depression is almost immediately established. emotional connection with a baby. A man on an emotional and intellectual level feels the same, precious sense of fatherhood. In a woman, mother nature launches a similar mechanism: thanks to a powerful hormonal surge, a newly-made mother forgets the pains of birth and begins to feel endless happiness from the fact that she has a child.