How to write what a man should be. What should be a man in relation to his wife, in relation to the feminine principle. Mental qualities of a real man

21.05.2019

A real man should be ...

1. Solid

A real man must have a strong character. Otherwise, how can he ensure the well-being of himself and his family? Only a man with a strong spirit can make a strong-willed, responsible decision and defend his point of view.

2. Movable

Not only in terms of physical activity, (although this too), but also in terms of mental mobility. He knows how to make a quick and wise decision, he always strives for something more, he knows how to analyze life situations.

3. Strong

Even if he did not come out in height, he will still go to the gym and engage in natural data to the best of his ability. A weak man will not be able to protect his children, he will not be able to carry his beloved in his arms, and he will not even be able to help push a friend's car that does not start (a real man always has his own car in perfect condition).

4. Purposeful

He must have clear goals in life and, most importantly, he achieves them. In spite of everything, he always goes ahead and takes his own. Failures are not critical for him, tk. he knows what he wants and after falling he always rises.

5. Loving

A real man loves himself, his parents, wife and children. The family is the basis on which his life is built. A real man needs a career and financial success not for show-off, but for a high standard of living of his relatives. He will never allow himself to hit a woman, and if his beloved is crying, he will be able to calm her down and numb her. But not a rag! He will not tolerate groundless scandals, and he himself will not arrange this, he knows how to listen to the interlocutor.

6. Independent and responsible

He will never forget to pick up the child from the kindergarten, and in an emergency he will be able to iron his shirts himself. He takes responsibility for his family and friends, and he treats any occupation (even if it is mowing the grass on his backyard) as if his fate depends on it.

7. Who knows how to cook

"The kitchen is not a place for men!" Is the slogan of losers. A real man will not die of hunger if his wife leaves for a week to visit her mother. On the contrary, for the arrival of his beloved, he will prepare a delicious dinner and buy her favorite wine. But in everyday life, a woman should cook.

8. Neat

He does not throw his things all over the bedroom, but neatly folds and puts them in the closet (hangs on a hanger). The interior of his car is always clean, and there is not even a hint of a stain on the collar of his shirt.

9. Not drinking

He knows how to enjoy life without alcohol and, moreover, knows the value of his health very well. Who needs alcoholics these days?

10. Various

And now the most important thing. Every woman has her own idea of a real man. For some, a bald, plump alcoholic will be the ideal (although unlikely, but who knows). But believe me, men, you are trying to be “real” not for “her”, but for yourself! Even if you find the only one that loves your stale underwear, this is not a reason to wear it for three weeks in a row!

Think about your lifestyle and try to change it for the better.

What should a real woman be like? !

- The topic of our conversation is what a real man is. The word "masculinity" does not answer this question. After all, women can also be courageous, and that's good too. How, in your opinion, is a real man different from a real woman?

- What should be a real man? I think the main quality of a man is responsibility. In principle, everyone should have responsibility - both men and women. But a man should be more responsible, because he is a protector, he is a breadwinner. And if he does not cope with this responsibility, the whole family will be very bad.

A man must be strong in body and soul; decisive; kind - so that he was not a robber warrior, but a defender warrior, so that he could always protect his relatives, loved ones, his land from everything and everyone. Naturally, he should be more restrained. All women are a little erratic.

And a woman is a keeper of the hearth, she is more affectionate with children. A man can raise children in his own way. He wants to see in his children something like himself: so that they are brave, decisive, fair, and, of course, kind.

- You are talking about protection. I know that you are from a kind of Don Cossacks, and it is clear that for the Cossacks the defense of the country, the war was one of the main, if not the main tasks in society. And in the modern world, modern life, how is protection expressed as the role of a man?

- It has long been said: "If you don't feed your army, you will feed someone else's." It's the same in the modern world. Now there is a lot of migration, various ethnic groups quarrel with each other too much. Europe was flooded with people from Africa and the East. The same is true in Russia and Ukraine. I am not against, for example, Muslims or Buddhists. I am against the fact that people coming here begin to dictate their terms. We, Orthodox Christians, have always been kind in essence, we didn’t go anywhere much. But I have seen lately that our kindness is being used for evil.

Therefore, I personally would like my children to be able to protect themselves. From time immemorial, this was the way it was - it was not the horde that attacked us, so the Turks, not the Turks - so the Germans, not the Germans - so the Lithuanians, and we always had to defend ourselves, we were not the aggressors.

But we have always owned and now we must possess the necessary qualities to defend and protect ourselves, our territory, our faith, our loved ones, parents, and everyone, everyone, everyone around us. I am for our children to be imitations of our fathers and grandfathers: - no matter how much they climb up to us, everyone always gets rebuffed.

- Among some men (especially urban ones), the idea is popular that if you are highly spiritual, then you don't even need to fight on a physical level; The main thing for you is to conquer everything with love, to pray. And you are not obliged to get into any collisions - this is the business of other people. What do you think of it?

- If you blame everything on other people, then it is clear that nothing will come of it. There was a time when monks and monks went into battle. The same Oslyabya and Peresvet. They took up arms - pitchforks, scythes, swords - and defended their abodes, Russia defended.

If you hope that someone will help - this is not right. We need to prepare so that you yourself can fight back, stand up for yourself and your loved ones, and for everyone.

- You said that it would be nice if the children were like our fathers. I see you as an example of a real man. Tell us about your father: what made you that way, what did you learn from him, what did you see in him, in his life, what helped you find such outlook on things?

- Of course, I have good memories of my father. Father has long been gone, he was born in 1925. I remember when I was a child, and when there were some family events, when guests gathered for us, relatives came, my father especially did not like to talk about his exploits in the war. He must have been pinched all his life, because I think killing is also not easy.

In the village where he lived (in the Kharkov region, Pervomaisky district), there was an SS division. And there were Germans in their house. The Germans drove everyone to the hayloft, while they themselves settled in the house. My father was seventeen years old when a German general was killed in those parts - one of the villagers shot him with a gun. Well, they began to commit atrocities even more. They were already doing such atrocities there that God forbid. My grandmother said that children were also raised from the cradle and strung on bayonets.

And once a drunk German officer called my father and brother partisans (they were 17 and 16 years old), put them on their knees and fired five shots at close range. But I never hit, I was so drunk. And my grandmother (their mother) kissed his feet, and shouted: "These are not partisans - these are my children!" Not that he didn't want to get in - just not destiny. Then - klats-klats - there are no more cartridges - he turned around and left.

And then the German commandant forced his father and his brother to do something, but they did not, and he whipped them. They tied them to some kind of stumps, and my father and my uncle had scars on their backs from these rods for life. Naturally, weapons were scattered everywhere at that time, the battles were going on. The father and brother of this commandant watched over, the father threw a grenade at his cart. The horse ran further, and he flew up several meters. Naturally, they killed him. Death was inevitable, therefore, although the commandant took their boots from them, he and his brother made a move to the front line - as far as Voronezh. It was a fierce winter, and they walked more than 400 kilometers without shoes through the occupied territory.

In general, they got to ours, crossed the front line. Father and his brother Fyodor were taken to school. And they have been at the front since 1943. My father was at first a sapper, and then, after being wounded, in a reserve assault brigade.

What pride in childhood: when everyone went to the parade on May 9. For my father it was generally a holy holiday, he would always clean up his medals ... He had only six medals for the capture of cities: Vienna, Budapest, Bucharest, Belgrade, Prague ... Two medals "For Courage" and two orders he had. I say: “Vovka, your grandfather fought there! He has two medals there. And that's how much my father has! " I remember once even putting on my father's suit with medals (I was about five years old), ran into the garden and lost several medals. Then they were looking for.

And I'm proud of my grandfather too. My grandfather did not put up with the communist regime. His father, a general of the Cossack troops of the tsarist army, was shot, eight of his grandfather's brothers were in the camps. There were still two sisters - they were not sitting. And my grandfather became a shoemaker, but did not go to the collective farm.

According to those who survived the war, they called my grandfather Ivashka in a simple way. They will come, take away about ten people (my grandfather was very healthy physically), they are being kept in some basement. They beat, beat the grandfather to go to the collective farm - the grandfather does not go to the collective farm. Volynil, in a word, from that power. He didn’t go there to work, he worked as a shoemaker on the sly. Well, I had to live somehow - my own family, etc. And then, when the Great Patriotic War came, the grandfather showed himself. The son of a general of the tsarist army could not fail to prove himself. He is a holder of the Order of Glory of three degrees. On May 6, 1945, my grandfather died near the town of Gerdauen in East Prussia.

— Did you live with your parents in the village?

- In the village. The village differs from the village in that there is a church. There was a lot of work, the work was hellish. The father was considered a specialist, was a jack of all trades and was constantly asked to do something. Actually, he worked as a builder, but by nature he was such a talented person that from childhood he made violins, guitars, dombras.

By May 9, we children were instructed to make a present to the school director, who had already retired by that time - Ivan Dmitrievich, Hero of the Soviet Union, tanker, retired colonel. I came and said: "Dad, I was instructed to give Ivan Dmitrievich a gift." He said, “I respect him so much. Okay, son, I'll do something interesting for him! " I took a linden block of wood and made a copy of the T-34 tank in two or three nights. I cut everything so perfectly - I put the wheels, rubber tracks, they moved back and forth with the help of the battery. I painted the tank, drew the stars. The director, when I presented him with the tank, even cried.

- We are read by guys, many of whom either do not have a father at all, or a drinking father, try to convey the situation in your family, how your father behaved with his mother, because your ideas about the family were formed precisely from this. How did he behave with you? Was your upbringing tough or not tough?

- Father was the kindest person. He treated his mother as a loved one, they had an idyll. May God grant everyone to live like this. He never said a bad word to his mother or raised his voice. And with us, children, he applied maximum kindness in upbringing, but always taught: “For work that you cannot do well, don’t take it at all. Do the job so that you yourself would not be ashamed of it, and no one of your loved ones would be ashamed of you. "

With regard to physical education, my father taught me: “If my brother and I did not go in for sports in childhood - on a bet in the winter barefoot in the snow to the station 7 kilometers and back - if we were not so strong, we would not have survived, not when we we went to Voronezh, not when they stood on the Sivash for three days in a swamp and there was already a crust of ice in the morning. "

My father often said: "Always try to be strong both in spirit and in body, go in for sports, because you must always protect yourself." So it seemed to be harsh in this regard. If I undertook to do something and got hurt, then he did not have this: "Oh-oh-oh, my poor unfortunate boy, now I will pity you." On the contrary: "Well, why are you so sloppy ... You need to be more careful and you need to approach everything correctly." And he did the same to himself. He mows with a scythe, gets hurt - he will fill it with brilliant green, bandage it and say: "Nothing, nothing, he will heal before the wedding." Or: "The blood that comes off is your excess blood." Then you no longer shed tears, because your father has secured that everything will heal before the wedding and there is nothing wrong with that.

I was not yet seventeen years old when my father passed away. If my father had stayed longer, he would have taught me a lot. There was not enough father - his rigidity, justice. He was always right - he was very smart, but he never argued with anyone. He said black means black. And everyone around him knew that this was really so. I didn’t throw words to the wind.

- Did he ever get excited, angry?

- Father never got excited. He had such a great endurance that one can envy. He can only grit his teeth - that's all. Even when he received serious injuries, working on a sawmill, on a lathe - he sometimes cut off his fingers - he clenches his teeth and tries not to show that it hurts, although it is clear what pain it is.

- Did you cut off your finger?

“He didn’t have five fingers. He cut off two fingers at once, and all the time he cut off one at a time.

- How can you tell children - “if you can't - don't take it,” if a child is learning, at first he can't do anything?

- Father meant that if he took up some business, he must do it and do it right. To finish.

- And what about alcohol?

- He always had a mini-bar and he made various liqueurs, tinctures, and he drank very rarely, on holidays, when they gather, a hundred grams, two hundred - maximum. Or, for example, fifty grams per dinner. Although he was physically healthy himself, he could drink quite a bit. I've never seen him drunk in my life. About alcohol, he said: “A drunkard is something abnormal. A drunkard is a lost person. " "Those who drank themselves to a swine state cannot behave either in society or in the family."

- How did he rest? Did he have any rest at all or not?

- No. He had a rest only a few times in his life, he went to a sanatorium. He had an ulcer since the war, so he was given vouchers to a sanatorium. That was the rest. He will come after the sanatorium, he has so much excitement, so many stories ... And as they plowed all their lives, they plowed. He said: “I’m going to retire - we’ll go fishing with you, we’ll go with the whole family to nature. He loved nature, but he had no time to come into contact with it. Because from five in the morning you get up and at ten in the evening or at eleven you go to sleep. And so, day after day, day after day. It was a difficult life, it was hard. We came home from work, and there is work again, because that is hay for a cow, and there is a farm, vegetable gardens and so on ... And on Saturday-Sunday - again homework or people. There was no time to rest at that time.

- People who are in great demand always have a choice - to do something for outsiders or for their family. What did your father do when he made this choice?

— The father could never refuse. I remember, at a family council, at breakfast, or dinner, or lunch, my mother said: "Wan, well, don't go there, well, rest." And then he was sick. But he says: “Well, what are you, how can I refuse? People are asking, who else will do it for them? " He could do a lot. The architecture of the house, from the foundation to the roof, could completely be done by the house - there was a master. He just couldn't refuse people. He had such a nature. Therefore, I even believe that he paid more attention to people than to himself. And people constantly asked. Today one asks, tomorrow another asks. They do not know that a person is exhausted, falls off his feet. But my father went and helped.

- You said at the beginning of our conversation that a man should be a leader in the family. It is difficult in our time to be a leader, not only because a man does not have such qualities in himself, but because a woman also fights very seriously to be a leader. Using your father as an example, can you show how, by what means his leadership was held? Modern people, who do not have an example, think that they need to knock on the table with their fist, somehow knock on their wife, if she buries herself, in general, they do not know how to become a leader.

- First of all - he had a great mind. He was such a well-read person, despite the fact that he constantly worked, that he could judge everything correctly. That is, he was never a yap, he was never a screamer. I repeat - if the father thinks, says, then this is always exactly the way it is. Therefore, naturally, the mother, although she is also a very intelligent woman, seeing the advantages of her father, never tried to exalt herself, to be smart. Men like my father are leaders by definition.

However, he never rushed to power. He was constantly elected to the district council, village council, but he always rejected this - he said: “I have no time anyway. And there you have to sit and fool everyone. " How many times he was appointed a foreman, he will work, work and say: "Well, I can't, well, they are my fellow villagers, peers and so on, someone gets drunk, does something wrong, but I need to command him." He didn't like power. But they always reckoned with him, because he was a man of great mind. This was his leadership. And not only the mother could not say against him, because he could not say stupidity. But they always had family advice: what to do or what to buy, to outline some amount of work, whether it was worth buying some kind of deficit at that time - a TV or a carpet from those kopecks. There was always advice, always the father will sum up at the end - it is necessary or not necessary.

- Have you ever had any disputes at the family council?

- There were no disputes. These are now disputes in young (and not only) families. Someone wants to pull the blanket over themselves. No, that was not the case. I believe that my parents had a complete idyll. From the people around, from the neighbors, no one ever said to his father such that “Ivan is a fool!”, He did something wrong. My father and my mother were very respected people. Let in the village, in a small circle, but very respected. I am proud of this, because my parents have been gone for a long time, but whoever remembers will remember only with a kind word.

— Looking at others, it is difficult to understand. Apparently the point is not only that your father was such a person, but your mother was also good. Two such people coincided that there were no such clashes.

- Mom was also very kind by nature. She is walking on some business, or she is carrying a bag of beetles on her bicycle, and someone will stop her and begin to tell her something. By and large, I know that this person is not very smart, he is grinding something unnecessary, and his mother will definitely listen to him. Stands and listens. I remember my elder sister, they already lived in Moscow then, she will come and say when she sees: "Mom, why are you standing there next to him for half an hour?" And my mother says: “Well, how is it? You have to listen to the person, otherwise he will be offended. " My mother was very smart in every way. Even if she was not particularly versed in politics, or in some other matters, but in everyday, family matters, she was an ideal woman. That is why they had such an ideal.

- Do you and your wife also have the same characters, or do you have to somehow fight for leadership?

- With Margarita, I'm not fighting for leadership, I understand that fighting is worse for myself. We agreed in the sense that it does not carry stupidity, and I try not to do it. She is also a leader in her own way. She does not always admit some of her minor mistakes; she does not have large ones. Everything is fine with us in this respect. I already know that I am a breadwinner, a leader, and so on, and there is no need to emphasize this, so as not to offend anyone. Although she will not be offended.

We just understand what we must do together now, together, and that is what we are doing. I understand that if I have to help her with something, right down to peeling potatoes, if she does not have time, then there are no questions.

- She also spent her childhood in the village?

- No, she spent her childhood in the regional center, in the Rivne region. Her childhood was secured in her own way, her youth, when the collapse of the Union occurred, she was already studying, she survived as best she could. She told how she went about picking mushrooms and berries in the forest to sell in the market and earn money for some kind of handkerchief, stockings, socks and so on ... That is, she knows the price of bread. And the price for everything. There is no such waste. In this respect, we understand each other.

- How old are you now?

- Forty five.

- At the age of forty-five, a person has already fully formed, he has developed various skills, the ability to resolve various situations. Do you remember how all these skills, decision-making skills were developed? Maybe you took from your parental family some kind of instinctive understanding of how it should be, or were you thinking on the basis of some system of values? Or maybe some religious views helped?

- In my youth there were no religious views yet. For about thirty years I began to travel to monasteries, and somehow I got a little deeper into faith, I realized that without faith, in principle, there is no life for us. My decisions and actions came without much hesitation. By themselves at the moment when it was necessary to make a decision. It is clear that, perhaps, many wrong actions were committed. In general, I always tried to earn some money in order to provide for myself, my loved ones, so that I did not sit on anyone's neck, this was my first criterion. I always made decisions myself. Nobody advised me, nobody told me. Whether they were right or wrong is a secondary issue. There was a lot of firewood, too, for all sorts of positions in life, but what was, it was.

- Did you serve in the army?

- Was there hazing?

- It was also very tough. The community was also present.

- How tough was the hazing? How did you perceive it and how did you survive in it?

“The beatings were very cruel. I had to survive with my fists.

- There is always a choice - to obey, take a rag and go wash the toilets, or fight. Can you tell us specific situations?

- I don’t mean to say that I didn’t have to take up a rag. Where the charter and conscience dictate, there I will obey. But if I felt that it was just “out of bounds,” I did not obey there, because my sense of dignity did not allow me to obey, and I had to fight. They had to fight fiercely, right down to a knife and a shovel. I was always lucky to emerge victorious from a fight. Even when one fought with four healthy lads-grandfathers, he beat them up so badly that three of them ended up in the hospital. In this respect, just such luck. And then it all went by itself. They did not mock me as much as many others did. Because some of the guys got out of the loop, and wanted to shoot and so on.

- And whose compatriots were?

- And we had fellowship: from the Caucasus - Chechens, strong guys, Georgians, Abkhazians. There were also from Central Asia, but they were in the third place. And very strong guys were from Poltava. They were strong in the sense that they had a strong command structure, and they were physically healthy guys by themselves, all athletes. There were six or seven of them, and they were all masters and candidates for master of sports in freestyle wrestling, judokas, and a boxer. The kind of guys who could not only fight back anyone, but also build anyone. When I had a clash with the Georgians, I beat them so badly, they could even put me in a disbat, or even worse, they supported me, defended me, it was Poltava residents.

- Let's say you defended yourself, and next to someone they humiliate. How to feel calm at the same time?

- It so happened that the hazing and the community of normal boys tried to support. Normal in that respect, if they felt in him a real person, a man. I tried to support the person until then, when he straightened out in everything and became a real lad, or, or vice versa, he let you down. You support him, and he starts to drift.

Personally, I survived there and survived with dignity, so I think anyone could survive.

“I don’t agree with anyone, because the main thing is a sense of inner dignity. When a person has dignity, he knows he is losing. And when a person does not have it, what has he to lose? There is no such thing to give your life for this.

- In such a cruel situation, if you don’t defend yourself, you will lose, in principle, everything. And they will scoff at you throughout your entire service life. Regardless of whether you are a grandfather or a demobilizer. Therefore, there you absolutely have to be stupid in order to put yourself down, not to defend yourself.

- You have three sons. How old are your sons now?

- The oldest is eighteen, the middle is twelve, the youngest is three months old.

- When the first was brought up, everything was clear and understandable - how to handle him, or were there any questions, difficulties, did you have to think about something?

- The eldest son has been a leader since kindergarten. I always found it easy with him. The only thing, I wanted him to go in for sports, and he wanted to push me away. I had to force him. Telling: “Son, every real man needs this. You will be healthy, you will be able to defend your dignity and your family and kind, and so on. To the extent that the dignity of the country where you live ”. And he understood: if the Pope speaks, then it is correct in all respects, he listened.

And everywhere he was among the first. Starting from kindergarten - you start him in kindergarten - boys and girls jump out: "Oh, Sasha has come!" - and everyone was happy. And when we met other children, this did not happen: he came and came. I went to the gymnasium - I was also a leader in the class.

Then I transferred him to another school from the gymnasium. Because in the gymnasium he could not play sports. They had a theatrical lesson - they had to grimace for an hour, and there was no time to play sports. Then I took him from there, gave him to a regular school. There he studied for three years, at first he studied perfectly well, then I looked - he began to move out. We must send again to that gymnasium, because it is strong. When he came to the gymnasium again, he was a cut above everyone else and had rosy cheeks. Because he played sports, he had a more normal regime. And there was no cafeteria in the gymnasium. In the buffet, all sorts of crackers, chips and so on had a snack, well, of course, they were losing their health.

- Did you force him to go in for sports or persuade him?

- Both convinced and forced. I said it was necessary, son. And he asked why you didn't go, for example, to training today? You had to go. There were two cases, he was leaving training, he was attacked by lads, barefoot, which is five or six years older than him: - "Let me have a smoke!" - "I do not smoke!" Someone populated, someone pushed, and beat me very severely. He was about twelve years old, and he was beaten so that the snow was sprinkled with his blood. After that, he began to play sports without reminders. I told him: "You see, son, by example - if you ran fast, you would run away."

- You said that your son was a leader since kindergarten. But then some young man will read us and say: “Great! But as? By what means? I also want to!" Why was he a leader even from kindergarten?

- Maybe he knew how to behave with friends. And he could always defend himself and protect his friends. Regardless of whether elders or peers attack. I fought to the last. Probably, his friends saw it, from the garden to the school, and this is probably why everyone was treated with respect. Although there were such situations - he defended his friend, and the friend ran away. As a result, Sashka received, but in the future they did not cease to respect him, although he received it.

And since school, he knew how to listen, and then make his last word. Once, I remember, some guys came to him. Call to the apartment, I open the doors. Three healthy lads are standing, apparently older than him: "Can you Sasha?" They left the entrance. And I was wondering what kind of showdown was there. I took the garbage bag, went out too, and listened to what the conversation was about. They say there: "Some guy screwed up the bochin ..." And they want to ask Sasha if it is possible to beat him. Well, I was pleased if they asked my son, although he is three or four years younger than theirs. And Sashka listened to them and said: "I will figure it out and make a decision." And they are about that lad: "He's there like this, that way" ... And Sashka said: "I said - don't touch!" To be honest, I was pleased for the child.

- How old was he?

- About fourteen years old. He was already seriously involved in boxing.

He always knew how to listen and not make some stupid proposal. He was always an opponent to beat someone. But he could stand up for himself. It is for these qualities that his friends respect him. Therefore, I am calm for the elder. Even if there is the strongest hazing in the army, he will survive and still be the leader, because he is a smart lad and strong.

- Does he still play sports? What has he accomplished?

- His greatest achievement: he won the European Championship in Combat Sambo. And so he constantly won regional competitions, in Ukraine, in boxing, and in combat sambo.

- So I understand that with your second son, not everything is so easy.

- Yes, the second in character is a little different. More eccentric. Recently, it has begun to level out. The following qualities begin to manifest themselves: do not take it with a swoop. And we must take in word and deed. Recently, he makes me more and more happy.

The only thing, like the first one, is lazy about sports. I can't teach him to go to training without dad's intervention or brother.

- I saw your son. I really liked the fact that he said that he had already been asked to speak Ukrainian four times here, in the shops of Western Ukraine, and he said: “What I want, that I will speak”.

- Perhaps he does not know Ukrainian very well. Or maybe he's such a principled guy. He will never be subject to anyone. If he thinks so, then he thinks so. He says: “What if I speak Russian, they won't understand me? - They will understand. Then why should I speak Ukrainian? Russian is my native language, it is closer to me. "

- So you have listed some of the qualities of your sons and your father and yours. It seems to me that there are some inner secrets of the male core.

- The core of the core is primarily upbringing. Now, I see, lately our children are either being raised incorrectly or not at all. They do not lay the spirit of our Slavic patriotism. They keep silent about the fact that we are a nation of victors. We are Belarusians, Russians or Ukrainians. We all came from the same mother. We won everything! We even saved the world. They do not want to instill this in children, so now many children do not know what we did during the Second World War. They do not tell the child how he should be, what he should do. Children grow up on their own.

Sometimes such things can be heard in Ukraine, which is unpleasant even to listen to them. Like: "It would be better if we lived under the Germans - the Germans live well" or local nationalism is developed - the Ukrainians against the Russians: "These curses are Muscovites." Although I have not heard that Russians were dismissive of Ukrainians.

Everything depends on the person. If you did everything normally, then no one will do you badly. It doesn't matter who you are - Ukrainian, Uzbek or someone else. And if you did something wrong, then everywhere you will be treated like that.

Do not instill in our children what they should. Television and the press do not reflect what surrounds us worthy, beautiful, they do not particularly want to instill in our children. So they grow up, jealous of some Americans or Europeans. Although, in fact, we do not want how to live there, we would like to live there.

- That is, in addition to a common human conscience, a certain additional strength for a man is the feeling of his people, his Motherland, patriotism, responsibility, including for his country.

- Of course, how else? Without faith, without love for the Motherland, without patriotism, what kind of person is this? This is nothing. What are the goals of this person in life? Live to live? Get rich? For what? Of course, I believe that everyone should defend their homeland, their ancestors, therefore, love and respect the environment. That which gave you life, health, mind and everything.

- You said that getting rich is a bad goal. But you yourself are a businessman. You probably don't have hired workers now, you do almost everything with the help of your family. But you still have a successful small business. What makes you work? What is the purpose of this entrepreneurship?

- What makes? A person must do something at least in order to live. Therefore, I was once engaged in a larger business, construction. I liked building better. I am a creator by nature, not a destroyer. And here I had to deal with this out of despair, because once again stepping on a rake, having survived our type of Ukrainian "crisis". Enough for life, not for everything else. It's nice when good people come. When people are happy with everything. Himself then pleasant at heart. The soul flutters. I'm lucky that good people come for some reason.

Working for wealth is not my principle of life. I would live to have enough and to enjoy doing what I do. In order not to be in poverty, to give children an education, to go to rest somewhere. I would like to go to Eastern Siberia, Western Europe, or Africa, to see the savannahs and jungles.

And to fatten - I do not know, it's not mine. I have never had such a thing. I will remember the words of my mother, my grandmother: "I'd better always give than ask." We have something today - she will treat those old women today, bake pies - let them remember her with a kind word. That's all. So, since childhood, I have not been laid down for someone to bend their backs for me, and I drove into paradise on someone else's ridge.

You can't take everything with you. This is my position.

Fomichev Alexander Ivanovich

Was born in the Kharkov region in 1967. Received two higher educations: economics and engineering and construction. Next conversation

Your feedback

At different times, different peoples had their own ideas about a real man, male beauty and dignity. In the modern world, the requirements for men are undoubtedly much higher. It is very interesting to know how women see a real man.

What should be a man: basic criteria

When you draw an image of a real man, imagine what qualities he should have. Of course, every woman has her own ideas about what her ideal man should be, but everyone agrees on one thing: he must have strong spiritual qualities.

So, let's highlight a few basic requirements:

Courageous.
Brave.
Responsible.
Fair.
Decent.
Hardworking.
Kind.
Clever.
Have a sense of humor.
Handsome and responsive.
Careful.
Self-reliant and active.
Loving and devoted.

Having found out what qualities a man should have, it is clear that it is almost impossible to find a person who meets all these requirements. But you can try to find a man who at least approximately suited you. But men who want to correspond to the title of "real man" can try to cultivate such qualities in themselves.

Mental qualities of a real man

When describing what an ideal man should be, many women will begin to describe precisely moral qualities. If a man, then, first of all, he must be courageous, courageous, loving, kind.

A courageous person is often associated with the image of a medieval knight, strong in spirit, noble, honest, courageous.

Courage is always at the top of the rankings when describing the desired man. Women like brave men, because with such a person, you can feel confident. Courage is appreciated not only by women, but also by men, because you can always be confident in such a friend.

Responsibility is a valuable quality for a man, since a person who can take responsibility for family, work and other areas of activity is highly respected in society.

Honesty and decency are qualities that many put above all else, but, unfortunately, not many can boast of them.

Hard work for a man who wants to have a family is a very important quality, because hardly anyone needs a lazy husband. After all, he must be the main earner in the family and perform those household duties that a woman cannot do.

Kind and loving, as a rule, are called by women in just such a combination. Every woman wants her beloved man, so strict and demanding with others, to be kind, caring and gentle in the family. Show observation: if your man respects old people, is affectionate with animals, speaks well of children, then most likely he will be that "kind and affectionate".

A modern man, among other things, must have a mind. Now, as a rule, smart people are appreciated, and if a man is really smart, then he can advance far in his career and material well-being.

Physical qualities of a man

In this regard, taste decides everything: for some, the man of dreams is a tall blue-eyed blonde, someone prefers brunettes. But everyone agrees on one thing: healthy, strong men are preferable. So if nature has not endowed you with outstanding data, then go in for sports and make yourself a beautiful body.

As for the face, then, of course, everyone likes nice people, but if you compensate for the shortcomings of appearance with high moral qualities, sparkling humor, outstanding talents, then, believe me, your appearance will seem quite interesting to everyone.

In this article, we examined, basically, what traits a real man should have, but everything, as you know, is individual: perhaps you will supplement this list of positive qualities of a real man with those that are important to you.

Criteria and quality

Personal qualities are also considered important: intelligence, strength, emotionality. If earlier physical strength was an indispensable characteristic of a real man, then with the development of intellectual industries, the mind came to the fore, however, the ability to protect themselves and their loved ones, cope with a difficult problem and even just hammer a nail is still highly valued by women who want to see in their partner a reliable protector and a person you can rely on.

Love for children is also an important factor, but in most cases it is enough for a woman for a man to love his children, and not all the little people in the world.

And emotionality and the ability to understand other people's experiences are necessary in order to penetrate the depths of complex female feelings and understand them, without which it is impossible to imagine mutual understanding.

It is difficult to answer this question unequivocally, because masculinity includes many components. What a man should be? There are basic qualities that reveal a man, that is, make him a man. The first component is faith. A man who has faith begins to understand why he lives, he has high ideals and higher values in life. Faith is the foundation and support, it is she who makes a man seek a higher goal.

It is very important for the stronger sex to have a mission in their life, to understand what a man should be and with what task he came to this earth. Realizing your goals and objectives, comprehending your nature - this is the process of sharpening yourself.

A man comes into this world like a diamond, at the exit he must become a diamond. And grinding is of two types:

the first is when he polishes himself;
another way is when it is grinded from the side.

And a man must trust this process. He must develop both individually and socially, therefore the realization of a man is the realization of responsibility. And first of all, he must take responsibility for himself, for his family, for the society in which he lives. Yes, men are responsible for everything that is happening now in society.

Ignorance of the law is not an excuse. The same postulate applies to universal laws, they can not be cleaned up or removed in any way. Whether men know or not, the burden of responsibility for everything that happens lies with them. It is both hard and honorable ... And for this it is necessary to take the path of self-organization, the path of personal growth.

It is very important to understand this prefix "self": self-developing, self-organized, self-disciplined - all this is a masculine essence. Initially, these qualities are inherent in him by nature itself, you just need to reveal yourself, let them manifest. Only then does a man begin to become a person, the head of the family, the continuer of the clan in the truest sense of the word.

What should be a man or what qualities are inherent in a developed personality

A person can be called a person with individual qualities. You cannot be born as a person - this is the process of becoming a whole life. Personal growth is the development of all its leading qualities. For a man it is:

Active life position.
Healthy lifestyle.
Respect for yourself and the world around you.
Taking responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions.
Self-devotion is the core of the personality.
Control of the senses.
Ability to adjust the space around you, build harmonious relationships with people around you.

The space in which we are is harmonized and attuned to the male energy. A woman creates an atmosphere of comfort, peace and coziness, and men set the vector of development, therefore it is so important for male nature to have rules and values in life. And the most important thing is to make vows and keep vows, to be responsible for yourself, your family, for your choice. Unfortunately, now this is so lacking in society.

Which is right: slam the table or be patient

In fact, both should happen, depending on the situation. These are just two tools, two extremes. In life, it is very important to find this golden mean, this measure, through which one can be realized in different circumstances.

For example, different patients come to the surgeon every day on the operating table. The doctor makes a diagnosis and begins to work with the instruments that are most suitable in this case. It is the same for a man - it is important to have these tools and be able to use them correctly. For this, there is a channel of intuition, it is he who helps not to break the wood, find solutions, cope with your feelings and make the right choice.

But in most cases, a man must be a diplomat. Diplomacy is a masculine factor. A man should always be able to agree, find common ground. If there is a party to the conflict, then the first task of diplomacy, the first task of a man is to learn not to get involved in an argument, but to learn how to resolve such situations, to reach an agreement. This is the main task of the stronger sex.

What should be a man in relation to his spouse, in relation to the feminine principle

It is said that women are the fingers of the world and they feel everything. And these fingers must be protected, they must be taken care of. The female psyche is delicate and vulnerable, and who, if not a husband, friend, brother, father, can protect and protect a woman, often from herself. Yes, we must take care of women, protect and preserve, and most importantly - lead along the path of life.

Women come into a man's life to nourish him with feminine energy. A man is more material on the physical plane, but he is also more developed on the spiritual plane. The purpose of a man is to move on the path to the divine, to the light, and for this he needs feminine qualities, such as mercy, compassion, love and respect. This is mostly a female component.

A man should have a balance of masculine and feminine, because one can come to God only by developing feminine qualities. It is like a yin-yang circle: in the “white” male field there is an interspersion of the “black” feminine principle. And when there is a balance: 70% of masculine qualities and 30% of feminine qualities, then the man becomes a real man.

Thus, the woman is one of the mentors for the man. If he learns to see her as a teacher, then it will be completely natural for him to take care of her. Respect and understanding will be the foundation of their union. And the wife will gladly take on the role of wife and lover, friend and helper, mother and daughter. All these roles will be the support that is so important for the realization of the male goal of life.

Masculinity is strength and independence, leadership and dedication, restraint and endurance, self-confidence and responsibility, generosity and tenderness ... Showing these qualities, a man positions himself in the role of a Real Man. You want to lean on such a shoulder, to open up in difficult moments of life, to trust in trouble.

The material was prepared by Irina Go