Psychological protection. Signs of psychological self-defense How a confident person behaves

24.08.2023

Reading time: 5 min

Psychological protection is unconscious processes occurring in the psyche, aimed at minimizing the impact of negative experiences. Protective tools are the basis of resistance processes. Psychological defense, as a concept, was first voiced by Freud, who initially meant by it, first of all, repression (active, motivated elimination of something from consciousness).

The functions of psychological defenses are to reduce the confrontation that occurs within the personality, to relieve tension caused by the confrontation of the impulses of the unconscious and the accepted requirements of the environment that arise as a result of social interaction. By minimizing such conflict, safety mechanisms regulate human behavior, increasing its adaptive capacity.

What is psychological protection

The human psyche is characterized by the ability to protect itself from negative surroundings around or internal influences.

The psychological defense of the individual is present in every human subject, but varies in intensity.

Psychological protection guards the mental health of people, protects their "I" from the impact of stressful influences, increased anxiety, negative, destructive thoughts, from confrontations leading to poor health.

Psychological defense as a concept appeared in 1894 thanks to the famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, who came to the conclusion that the subject can show two different response impulses to unpleasant situations. He can either keep them in a conscious state, or distort such circumstances in order to reduce their scope or deflect them in a different direction.

All protective mechanisms are characterized by two features that connect them. First of all, they are unconscious. activates protection spontaneously, not understanding what he is doing. Secondly, the main task of protective tools is the maximum possible distortion of reality or its absolute denial, so that the subject ceases to perceive it as disturbing or unsafe. It should be emphasized that often human individuals use several protection mechanisms simultaneously to protect their own person from unpleasant, threatening events. However, such a distortion cannot be considered deliberate or exaggerated.

At the same time, despite the fact that all available protective acts are aimed at protecting the human psyche, preventing it from falling into, helping to endure stressful effects, they often cause harm. The human subject cannot constantly exist in a state of renunciation or blaming others for his own troubles, replacing reality with a distorted picture that has fallen out of.

Psychological protection, in addition, can interfere with the development of a person. It can become an obstacle on the path of success.

The negative consequences of the phenomenon under consideration occur with a steady repetition of a certain defense mechanism in similar situations of being, however, individual events, although similar to those that initially provoked the activation of the defense, do not need to be covered, since the subject himself can consciously find a solution to the problem that has arisen.

Also, defense mechanisms turn into a destructive force when a person uses several of them at the same time. A subject who often resorts to defense mechanisms is doomed to be a loser.

Psychological defense of the individual is not an innate skill. It is acquired during the passage of the baby. The main source of the formation of internal protection mechanisms and examples of their application are parents who “infect” their own children with their example of using protection.

Personal psychological defense mechanisms

A special system of personality regulation, aimed at protecting against negative, traumatic, unpleasant experiences caused by contradictions, anxiety and a state of discomfort, is called psychological protection, the functional purpose of which is to minimize intrapersonal confrontation, reduce tension, and relieve anxiety. Weakening internal contradictions, psychological hidden "safeties" regulate the behavioral reactions of the individual, increasing its adaptive ability and balancing the psyche.

Freud had previously outlined the theories of the conscious, the unconscious and the concept of the subconscious, where he emphasized that internal defense mechanisms are an integral part of the unconscious. He argued that the human subject often encounters unpleasant stimuli that are threatening and can cause stress or lead to a breakdown. Without internal "safeties", the ego of the personality will undergo disintegration, which will make it impossible to make decisions in everyday life. Psychological protection acts as a shock absorber. It helps individuals cope with negativity and pain.

Modern psychological science distinguishes 10 mechanisms of internal protection, which are classified according to the degree of maturity into defensive (for example, isolation, rationalization, intellectualization) and projective (denial, repression). The first ones are more mature. They allow negative or traumatic information to enter their consciousness, but interpret it for themselves in a “painless” way. The second ones are more primitive, since traumatic information is not allowed into consciousness.

Today, psychological "safeties" are considered reactions that the individual resorts to using unconsciously in order to protect their own internal mental components, the "Ego" from anxiety, confrontation, feelings, guilt, feelings.

The underlying mechanisms of psychological defense are differentiated according to such parameters as the level of conflict processing inside, the reception of reality distortion, the level of the amount of energy expended to maintain a certain mechanism, the level of the individual and the type of likely mental disorder that appears as a result of addiction to a certain defense mechanism.

Freud, using his own three-component model of the structure of the psyche, suggested that individual mechanisms arise even at the childhood age stage.

Psychological defense examples of it in life are found all the time. Often a person, in order not to pour out anger on the boss, pours out flows of negative information on employees, since they are less significant objects for him.

It often happens that the safety mechanisms start to work incorrectly. The reason for this failure is the individual's desire for peace. Hence, when the desire for psychological comfort begins to prevail over the desire to comprehend the world, minimizing the risk of going beyond the boundaries of the usual, well-established defense mechanisms cease to function adequately, which leads to.

Protective protective mechanisms constitute the security complex of the personality, but at the same time they can lead to its disintegration. Each individual has his favorite defense variation.

Psychological defense is an example of this desire to find a reasonable explanation for even the most ridiculous behavior. This is how rationalization tends to be.

However, there is a fine line that lies between the adequate use of the preferred mechanism and the violation of the equivalent balance in their functioning. Trouble arises in individuals when the chosen "fuse" is absolutely not suitable for the situation.

Types of psychological protection

Among the scientifically recognized and frequently encountered internal "shields" there are about 50 types of psychological protection. Below are the main methods of protection used.

First of all, we can single out sublimation, the concept of which was defined by Freud. He considered it a process of transforming libido into a lofty aspiration and socially necessary activity. According to Freud's concept, this is the main effective protective mechanism during the maturation of the personality. The preference for sublimation as the main strategy speaks of the mental maturation and formation of the personality.

There are 2 key variations of sublimation: primary and secondary. In the first case, the original task to which the personality is directed is preserved, which is expressed relatively directly, for example, barren parents decide to adopt. In the second case, individuals abandon the initial task and choose another task, which can be achieved at a higher level of mental activity, as a result of which sublimation is of an indirect nature.

An individual who has not been able to adapt with the help of the primary form of the defense mechanism may step over to the secondary form.

The next, often used technique is, which is found in the involuntary movement of unacceptable impulses or thoughts into the unconscious. Simply put, repression is motivated forgetting. When the function of this mechanism is insufficient to reduce anxiety, other methods of protection are involved that contribute to the repressed information to appear in a distorted light.

Regression is an unconscious "descent" to an early stage of adaptation, allowing you to satisfy desires. It can be symbolic, partial or complete. Many problems of emotional orientation have regressive signs. In its normal manifestation, regression can be detected in gaming processes, in illnesses (for example, a sick individual requires more attention and increased care).

Projection is a mechanism for assigning desires, feelings, thoughts to another individual or object, which the subject consciously rejects in himself. Separate variations of the projection are easily found in everyday life. Most human subjects are completely uncritical about personal shortcomings, but they easily notice them in the environment. People tend to blame the surrounding society for their sorrows. In this case, the projection can be harmful, since it often causes an erroneous interpretation of reality. This mechanism mainly works in vulnerable individuals and immature personalities.

The opposite of the above technique is introjection or inclusion of oneself. In early personal maturation, it plays an important role, since parental values are comprehended on its basis. The mechanism is updated due to the loss of the next of kin. With the help of introjection, the differences between one's own person and the object of love are eliminated. Sometimes, or towards someone, negative impulses are transformed into depreciation of oneself and self-criticism, due to the introjection of such a subject.

Rationalization is a mechanism that justifies the behavioral response of individuals, their thoughts, feelings, which are actually unacceptable. This technique is considered the most common psychological defense mechanism.

Human behavior is determined by many factors. When an individual explains behavioral reactions in the most acceptable way for his own personality, then rationalization occurs. An unconscious rationalization technique should not be confused with conscious lying or deliberate deception. Rationalization contributes to the preservation of self-esteem, avoidance of responsibility and guilt. In every rationalization there is some truth, but there is more self-deception in it. This makes her unsafe.

Intellectualization involves the exaggerated use of intellectual potential in order to eliminate emotional experiences. This technique is characterized by a close relationship with rationalization. It replaces the direct experience of feelings with thoughts about them.

Compensation is an unconscious attempt to overcome real or imagined defects. The mechanism under consideration is considered universal, because the acquisition of status is the most important need of almost every individual. Compensation can be socially acceptable (for example, a blind person becomes a famous musician) and unacceptable (for example, disability compensation is transformed into conflict and aggression). They also distinguish between direct compensation (in an obviously unprofitable area, the individual is striving for success) and indirect (the tendency to establish his own person in another area).

Reaction formation is a mechanism that replaces unacceptable impulses for awareness with exorbitant, opposite tendencies. This technique is characterized by two stages. In the first turn, an unacceptable desire is forced out, after which its antithesis increases. For example, overprotection may hide feelings of rejection.

The mechanism of denial is the rejection of thoughts, feelings, urges, needs, or reality that are unacceptable at the level of consciousness. The individual behaves as if the problem situation does not exist. The primitive way of denial is inherent in children. Adults are more likely to use the described method in situations of serious crisis.

Displacement is the redirection of emotional responses from one object to an acceptable replacement. For example, instead of the employer, subjects take out aggressive feelings on the family.

Methods and techniques of psychological protection

Many eminent psychologists argue that the ability to protect oneself from negative emotional reactions of envious people and ill-wishers, the ability to maintain spiritual harmony in all sorts of unpleasant circumstances and not respond to annoying, insulting attacks, is a characteristic feature of a mature personality, an emotionally developed and intellectually formed individual. This is a guarantee of health and the main difference between a successful individual. This is the positive side of the function of psychological defenses. Therefore, subjects experiencing pressure from society and taking on negative psychological attacks of spiteful critics need to learn adequate methods of protection from negative influences.

First of all, you need to realize that an irritated and emotionally depressed individual cannot restrain emotional outbursts and adequately respond to criticism.

Methods of psychological defense that help to cope with aggressive manifestations are given below.

One of the techniques that contribute to the repulsion of negative emotions is the “wind of change”. You need to remember all the words and intonations that cause the most painful intonation, to understand what can be guaranteed to knock the ground out, unbalance or plunge you into depression. It is recommended to remember and vividly imagine the circumstances when the ill-wisher tries to annoy with the help of certain words, intonation or facial expressions. You should also say inside yourself the words that hurt the most. You can visualize the facial expressions of an opponent uttering offensive words.

This state of powerless anger or, on the contrary, loss, must be felt inside, disassembled by individual sensations. You need to be aware of your own feelings and changes occurring in the body (for example, your heartbeat may become more frequent, anxiety will appear, your legs will “weep”) and remember them. Then you should imagine yourself standing in a strong wind that blows away all the negativity, offensive words and attacks of the ill-wisher, as well as reciprocal negative emotions.

The described exercise is recommended to be done several times in a quiet room. It will help you later be much calmer about aggressive attacks. Faced in reality with a situation where someone is trying to offend, humiliate, you should imagine yourself being in the wind. Then the words of the spiteful critic will sink into oblivion without reaching the goal.

The next method of psychological defense is called the "absurd situation." Here, a person is advised not to wait for aggression, a splash of offensive words, ridicule. It is necessary to adopt the well-known phraseological unit "to make an elephant out of a fly." In other words, it is necessary to bring any problem to the point of absurdity with the help of exaggeration. If you feel ridicule or insult from your opponent, you should exaggerate this situation in such a way that the words that follow this give rise to only laughter and frivolity. With this method of psychological defense, you can easily disarm the interlocutor and for a long time discourage him from offending other people.

You can also imagine opponents as three-year-old crumbs. This will help you learn to treat their attacks less painfully. You need to imagine yourself as a teacher, and opponents as a kindergarten kid who runs, jumps, screams. Gets angry and fussy. Is it really possible to be seriously angry at a three-year-old unintelligent baby?!

The next method is called "ocean". The water spaces, which occupy a huge part of the land, constantly take in the seething streams of the rivers, but this cannot disturb their majestic steadfastness and tranquility. Also, a person can take an example from the ocean, remaining confident and calm, even when the streams of abuse pour out.

The technique of psychological defense called "aquarium" consists in imagining oneself behind the thick edges of the aquarium while feeling the attempts of the environment to unbalance. It is necessary to look at the opponent pouring out a sea of negativity and endlessly pouring offensive words from behind the thick walls of the aquarium, imagining his physiognomy distorted by anger, but not feeling the words, because the water absorbs them. Consequently, negative attacks will not reach the goal, the person will remain balanced, which will further disperse the opponent and make him lose his balance.

I will touch on the important topic of women's self-defense in the face of an aggressor. Being a girl, it is hard to step over the female role implanted by society. Be gentle, beautiful, sensual and supple. Excellent qualities, but when faced with aggression, they only exacerbate the situation. Due to the fact that we are weaker, we cannot physically fight back men and fall into a stupor. At the same time, we lose the last opportunity to somehow influence the situation with the help of psychological techniques.

We have lived all our lives in a society where a vivid display of emotions is considered a weakness, because a person must be able to iron control his feelings. If an emotional volcano suddenly erupts, then the person receives unflattering nicknames “weak”, “spineless” or even “sick”. We prefer to ignore and stop strong emotions, both in ourselves and in other people.

That is why we get lost when we meet a real aggressor, we turn to stone and fall into a stupor. Thus, we deprive ourselves of the last opportunity to resist. Schools don't tell us what to do when we meet a rapist or a murderer, and we lose precious seconds. Although there are effective psychological ways to stop a person, albeit for a couple of seconds.

Template break

According to Erickson, "pattern breaking" is a technique for inducing a person into a shock trance by purposefully interrupting an automated action. The second way to break the pattern is the mixing tactic. For example, at a fast pace, mutually exclusive instructions are given that cannot be followed.

In other words, it is necessary to go against the expected reaction. What behavior does the rapist expect from his victim? Tears and fear, maybe even physical resistance, that's what he's counting on. The first thing a woman needs to do is disgust herself and are not afraid for her attractiveness.

From theory to practice

Now I will name a few cases from the real life of my friends, others are taken from the forums. All situations clearly demonstrate the power of such psychological tricks. Living people told me, believe me, that means it worked.

Girlfriend simulated an epileptic seizure when an aggressive man squeezed her in the entrance and already lifted her skirt. Acting abilities opened in her suddenly, out of fear. She rolled her eyes, foamed and twitched convulsively as she lay on the floor. The aggressor believed, got scared and, apparently, in order not to dirty his hands, fled. How she came up with such an idea, the girl herself does not know, but it worked effectively.

With the same effect, you can wet yourself, portray a mentally retarded person, stick out your tongue, foam, make terrible faces, or even induce vomiting. Everything you can think of and have always been embarrassed to do in public under the pretext of "it kills my beauty." Do everything to kill the sexual desire and attraction of the rapist.

Don't cry, don't be afraid, don't ask

Another story is already from the Internet forums. The girl returned late from work, had to go through a dark alley. There, a man attacked her, grabbed her and immediately threw her to the ground. There was nowhere to wait for help and the girl did a very unusual thing, she intuitively started stroking his head and back. The man began to shout obscene words, apparently in his hearts blaming some woman who had offended him. He burst into tears and vanished without doing anything.

This is the same as saying to the rapist “finally, I have been waiting for this for so long and sincerely smile.” What aggressor would not be surprised if he heard the cries of "Hurrah" in his honor? And there, you see, the saviors-neighbors will have time to appear. A few seconds won can save the situation, so you should use any means possible.

Aggressor you can try to scare. For example, say: “I am being met, and now there will be people here” or “I have cops on my tail.” Pretend that you have already dialed 112, shout "Fire" or throw stones at the windows of nearby houses. Even cold water in the face also sometimes works and gives time to dodge and run away. The minimum task is to avoid dark alleys at night and remember about a gas spray and a stun gun. Caution and unusual behavior can help a woman avoid being attacked by her aggressor.

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Lecture 13

Lecture plan:

13.3 Constructive criticism

Civilized resistance to attack and manipulation

The concept of civilized confrontation

Opposition to influence is a reciprocal influence, that is, in essence, a kind of influence. Civilized resistance to influence 1) complies with the rules of etiquette and 2) complies with the ethical standards adopted by the opposing subject himself.

A barbaric attack, apparently, a psychologically civilized person must resist Always. Otherwise, he risks his personal integrity. As for manipulation, the reaction to it can be conscious surrender.

General rules of civilized confrontation

1. The confrontation begins with minimal means.

2. The confrontation ends:

a) either when the manipulator switched to civilized interaction;

b) or when the opposing addressee of influence decided to capitulate.

3. The transition to more powerful means of confrontation is made only if the manipulator does not respond to less powerful means.

In this case, the phase of psychological sambo can be skipped. It is needed only in cases where the addressee is overwhelmed by feelings and is unable to move from emotional monitoring directly to an informational dialogue.

Algorithm of civilized confrontation

Emotion monitoring

Monitoring is a continuous observation of a phenomenon in its full dynamics; scanning, tracking. Monitoring is necessary in order to identify early signs of incipient manipulation. Some changes in the emotional state of the addressee are reliable signs that the manipulator has begun its "work" with its emotional strings.

These signs include:

□ imbalance- inconsistency, ambivalence of emotions, for example, a combination of pride and resentment, joy and distrust, tenderness and anxiety, or, as one of the training participants put it, “when it’s funny and unpleasant at the same time”, etc.;

□ "strangeness" of emotions, for example, an outburst of rage at the moment of discussing non-essential details of the action plan; unconscious fear in the process of peaceful discussion of the volume of future deliveries, etc.;

□ recurrence of emotions, for example, the systematic occurrence of the same emotions when meeting with a certain person, feelings of guilt, professional incompetence, humiliation, protest, etc.;

□ a sharp surge of emotions, which does not seem justified by the objective characteristics of the situation.

2. Psychological self-defense (psychological sambo 1 )

The task of psychological sambo techniques is to protect oneself from the devastating consequences of a barbaric attack and manipulation, to help oneself cope with stunnedness, confusion, and an emotional storm in the soul. SAMBO techniques allow you to win the time needed to regain self-control and restore your ability to function in the intellectual layer of interaction with a partner.

We are talking about self-defense, not self-defense, since at least three important differences can be distinguished between these concepts:

1 - in some literary sources the term psychological aikido is used

1. Protect usually weak and defend maybe strong if he was attacked.

2. You can defend yourself in any territory, while defend on their own land.

3. The best way to defend is a counter attack, defense - transformation of the material and form of attack into new material and a new form for the emotional neutralization of the situation.

Psychological Sambo requires:

a) the use of clear speech formulas;

b) correctly chosen intonation - for example, calm, cold, thoughtful, cheerful or sad;

c) solidity in the answer, which is achieved:

□ pausing before answering;

□ slow response;

□ the orientation of the response to a space deeper and more extensive than that which is the immediate zone of collision.

Calm, thoughtful and sad intonations of the answer leave space for reflection, and therefore contribute to the transfer of interpersonal intervention into an informational discussion.

The use of other intonations, for example, assertive or caustic, will mean a retaliatory attack, again throwing a potato.

In the case of technology English professor sometimes it is acceptable to use a cheerful intonation (see below). Cold intonation can be used only in those cases when the addressee uses the technique of external agreement and at the same time wants to make it clear that he forced agree with the manipulator, although it may not be very pleasant for him.

Information dialogue

Information dialogue- clarification of the partner's position and one's own position through the exchange of questions and answers, messages and proposals.

An information dialogue is an exchange of questions and answers, messages and proposals in a dispassionate and impartial mode of computer information retrieval.

Emotional overtones are ignored. In each appeal of a partner, the essence that is relevant to the case under discussion is sought, everything else is omitted.

An informational dialogue is a conversation about the essence of the matter, or at least an attempt at such a conversation.

If the partner goes to discuss the issue on the merits, gradually refusing to manipulate, the confrontation can be considered successfully completed: the manipulation turned out to be transformed into an informational discussion.

Comments on Example 1: Target Response to Manipulator Statement

If the manipulator makes a statement or makes an offer, he can be immediately asked an information question. Questions that clarify the essence of the matter are asked in cases where the manipulator speaks about the merits of the matter, albeit with the use of pinches; questions that clarify the goals of the manipulator are asked in cases where the manipulator is more concentrated on the pinch, far from the essence of the matter. In all those cases where it is possible to remain within the framework of a discussion of a business problem, it is recommended to ask questions that clarify the essence of the matter.

EXAMPLE 2 _______________________________________Reaction to the question

Comments on Example 2: Addressee's response to the manipulator's question

If the manipulator asks a question and the addressee considers it possible and correct to give an informational answer, he does so. If the addressee does not consider it possible to give an open answer, because this is related to the disclosure of confidential information, corporate or personal secrets, etc., then the response to the question may be a proposal on the merits of the case or on the choice of topic. If the addressee believes that an informational response is inappropriate because it will not bring the interlocutors closer to solving the business issue under discussion, a more effective strategy would also be to formulate a proposal to return to the topic, open the issue, provide an explanation, etc.

In this case, the proposal can be formulated as a polite request (“Please ...”) or a request-question, for example: “Could we return to your first sentence for a few minutes and discuss it in more detail?”

There are some typical mistakes when using psychological self-defense techniques and informational dialogue.

1. Self-justification. Any form of self-justification is a sign of a “sounding string”, and, consequently, that the addressee was involved in manipulation.

2. Counter attack- this is barbarism (“Yes, look at yourself. It’s not me, but you don’t understand anything,” etc.)

3. Questioning other people's opinions“third parties” (“Yes, and what do they say about it? How did he react?” etc.)

4. Question about the source of information(“How did you know this? Who said this?” etc.). This is counter manipulation. If the attacker himself does not refer to the sources, then he has reasons to hide them, and by asking a question about the sources, we deliberately touch this string. As Dotsenko wrote, “many of us remember from childhood cases when we naively told our parents everything they asked, and then heard from older guys: “Six”. Since then, a controller has been working in us: but will my information harm someone? Therefore, we are wary when we are asked: who said? (Dotsenko, 1996, p. 244). We are afraid to "give out". The string “Do not give out” lives in us.

5. The question of "instigators"(“Who was the first to do this? Where did this reaction come from?” etc.) The reasons are the same. This is counter manipulation.

6. False and insincere statements because it is manipulation.

7. Rough wording of questions and answers(“What about you? Go to hell!” etc.). The gross form is barbarism. You can't "drive" civilization into civilization with a crowbar.

8. Statements about psychological rights and obligations(“I have the right not to tell you this! I am not obliged to report to you,” etc.). The conversation about rights inevitably leads away from the discussion of the essence of the matter and the goals of the manipulator and slips into a discussion of relationships.

9. Question about attitude(the attacker to the addressee, others, to himself or others to the addressee) (“You don’t trust me? Do you think I’m not firm enough? Do they condemn me? Are you jealous?” Etc.). Such questions can be counter-manipulation (such as a show of weakness), self-justification, or counter-attack. If the manipulator himself provokes a discussion of the addressee's relationship with someone, it is often important for him to be able to later refer to the very fact of the conversation.

Constructive criticism

Constructive criticism is a fact-based discussion of the goals, means or actions of the initiator of the impact and justification of their inconsistency with the goals, conditions and requirements of the addressee.

General characteristics:

□ Factual: Opportunities, facts, events, and their consequences are evaluated, not individuals.

□ Correctness: only parliamentary expressions are allowed.

□ Equanimity: analysis and evaluation is carried out “without emotions”, removal, without any personal involvement, raising the voice, etc.

Quoting a past case

- We had a similar case a month ago. Unfortunately, it turned out that such orders require the involvement of additional workers.

- Thank you, we have already encountered foreign specialists. They are not always realistic. It takes time for them to adapt

to Russian reality. We have decided to make do with domestic personnel for the time being.

The message that the offer cannot be accepted... for three reasons. Three reasons are good. Plus, they're always there. The partner may try to use the method of splitting arguments against them. When a person says “for three reasons”, he himself structures his attitude to the proposal. This is a very valuable exercise for the mind and a real test of a proposal for effectiveness.

- I cannot accept the method of three reasons for three reasons. First, he is manipulative. At the moment when I say "for three reasons", I may not yet know the reasons. Secondly, three reasons may not come to my mind, but, for example, only two or even only one. Third, it's too long.

- I do not agree to take Ivanov now for this position. He hasn't passed his probation yet. This time. He made several mistakes. This is two. And he is the husband of one of the employees, and I am against nepotism. It's three.

Constructive criticism is, in essence, counter-argumentation, which can be done in the technique of turning around, splitting the partner's arguments, or deploying one's own arguments. Expressing doubts about the appropriateness and citing a past case are methods of deploying one's own arguments.

Civilized confrontation

Confrontation is the most powerful means of resisting attack and manipulation. Claude Steiner considered confrontation as opposing his own power maneuver to the partner's power game in order to force him to reckon with us, stop ignoring us (Steiner S. M., 1974). This method is justified in cases where the initiator of influence uses such non-constructive methods of influence as manipulation, destructive criticism, ignoring or coercion.

Despite the fact that confrontation is a confrontation, it can be, in the words of A. Beck, “convenient”. It means "we care". “By engaging in confrontation, we offer the other person and ourselves the opportunity to change, improve our relationship, while at the same time respecting our own need to express discomfort” (Beck A.S., 1988. P. 14).

According to A. Beck, in order to decide whether to enter into a confrontation, you must first answer yourself a few questions.

Making a decision to enter into a confrontation according to A. Beck:

2. Determine if your actions or inactions are having the desired effect.

3. Learn what you want from the person or situation and what is stopping you from achieving it.

5. The answers to these questions may lead you to confront the other person, accept his/her behavior, or end the relationship.

Veek A., 1988

If a decision is made to enter into a confrontation, it is necessary to be consistent and ready to go to the end. A confrontation can be effective only if each of its necessary phases is realized.

The confrontation algorithm was compiled based on the descriptions of Claude Steiner (Steiner S. M., 1974).

The first phase of the confrontation. I-message (I-statement) about the feelings that this behavior of the initiator of influences causes

Suppose a manipulator (a man) deliberately violated the psychological distance between himself and the addressee of his influences (a girl) so that she would experience a feeling of inconvenience and more likely agreed to fulfill his request. He pulls his chair close to her chair and, putting his arm around her shoulders, says: “Please give me this manual, I just need it today.” The addressee girl answers him with an I-message: “When they sit down so close to me, I feel anxiety and discomfort.” If the manipulator accepts the I-message of the addressee, apologizes and

Algorithm of confrontation

sits back, the goal is reached and the confrontation is over. Only in the event that he does not do this or, having done so, then again repeats attempts to limit the psychological space of the addressee, it is necessary to move on to the second phase.

The second phase of the confrontation. Strengthening the I-message. In this example, the addressee girl did it this way: “When I say that I have anxiety and inconvenience, but they don’t react to it in any way, then I begin to feel longing, grief. Offended, finally. I feel bad, you know?" If the initiator of the influence accepts this I-message and stops his efforts to limit the psychological space, the confrontation can be considered successfully completed. Only if he does not do this, the addressee needs to move on to the next phase.

The third phase of the confrontation. Expressing a wish or request For example: “I ask you to sit about this distance from me, not closer. And I also ask you not to slap my hand or touch me at all.”

If we combine the first through the third phases together, then the algorithm for formulating the I-message (I-statement) is as follows:

1. Situation (non-judgmental statement of fact, situation): “When they sit down so close to me ...”, “When you speak in raised tones ...” ...

2. Your reaction at the level of feelings (you have the right to experience any feelings): "... I feel anxiety and inconvenience." (Alternatively, it can also be a message about your reaction at the level of impulses or thoughts: "... I have a desire (thoughts) to leave the room ... interrupt communication ... push you away ...").

3. Your preferred outcome (what would you like): “I ask you to sit about this distance from me, not closer. And I also ask you not to slap my hand or touch me at all.”

At the same time, you have not yet said a word about the interlocutor, therefore, he has much less chances to feel hurt and offended, as if you had appreciated him.

If the request is not fulfilled, it is necessary to proceed to the fourth phase.

The fourth phase of the confrontation. Assignment of sanctions Example: “If you pat me on the hand again or sit closer than it is convenient for me, firstly, I will leave immediately, and secondly, I will leave every time you come to me. I'll stop talking to you, that's all." We see that a sanction is a threat, and a threat is an attribute of coercion. If the confrontation has reached this stage, it is necessary to admit to ourselves that we are forcing the manipulator to make a choice: either to comply with our demands, or to refuse the opportunity to interact with us. The manipulator may resist coercion in the form of a reciprocal confrontation. We can negotiate and discuss his demands. Only in the event that he continues his actions or we failed to reach an agreement, it is necessary to move on to the fifth phase.

Fifth phase of confrontation. Implementation of sanctions.

The addressee of the impact must refuse any interaction with the initiator. Break off relations with him if there is no other way out.

We see that confrontation is a method that requires the determination to go all the way in asserting one's psychological freedom, one's right to resist other people's influence.

Energy mobilization

Energy mobilization means activating the resources of one's own energy in situations where unwanted encroachments of someone else's will threaten to devour and subdue us. Energy mobilization can be used to resist suggestion, contagion, attempts to form benevolence.

Let us give an example of two methods - general and situationally determined.

1. General way of energy mobilization is a search for factors that nourish, restore and enhance individual energy, and the purposeful use of these factors. For example, for some people, the simple act of taking a hot shower or sauna, certain foods, sleeping habits, reading certain books, watching certain movies, meeting certain people, etc., restores and enhances energy.

2. Situationally determined way of energy mobilization is the transformation of any negative or conflicting or ambivalent emotion into emotion of anger. In the simplest classification of human emotions, three emotions are negative (anger, fear, and depression) and one is positive (joy). Energy mobilization is caused by two of them: joy and anger. Fear and depression are difficult to transform into joy, but they can be successfully transformed into anger. The rule is this: if you do not know how to react to a situation where you are being influenced undesirably, react with the emotion of anger. Try to be angry with this person.

Creation

Creativity involves the commission of unpredictable, original deeds and actions. Creativity can be used to resist attempts to awaken the impulse to imitate.

The paradox is that true creativity is born not as a result of a decision not to imitate, but under the influence of an inner craving for self-expression. True creativity has internal causes, not external ones.

Imitation is often the most economical way to learn a new skill or ability. From childhood, the entire system of our education teaches a person to strive for the achievement of high standards, and not the heights of self-expression.

Evasion

Avoidance is considered a legitimate way of avoiding unwanted experiences and behavioral responses in behavioral therapy.

R. Swinn described the sequence of his work in the framework of behavioral therapy. First, he, together with the client, determines the conditions in which the client experiences stress. The client is then asked to use three methods to reduce and control stress: 1) take a "time out" and engage in relaxation; 2) generally prevent the appearance of stimuli that cause stress - solve the problem before it becomes a problem; 3) reduce the length of time spent in a stressful situation, that is, divide the time into short periods. Thus, the client is encouraged to avoid visiting certain places, meeting certain people and generally getting into situations that cause him unwanted feelings and reactions (Suinn R. M., 1977. P. 55). It can be called strategic evasion.

In the event that a meeting is inevitable or is already taking place, it is possible to apply tactical evasion - timeouts and reduced interaction time with another person.

To these methods, you can add the transformation of direct interaction into indirect (through correspondence).

Evasion Techniques:

Time-out

· diverting attention to everyday details(Oh, my chair broke; something got in my eye; I have to take my medicine, etc.);

· physical exit from the interaction space under a plausible pretext (Sorry, I urgently need to take these papers from the office manager; I need to check these data, let me take a break for three minutes; Sorry, I have to leave you for one minute, etc.);

· I philosophical way out- rhetorical questions or generalized statements like "What is truth?" or "We are all subjective...";

· I attempts to laugh it off and joke to switch attention to something else (“Oh, they are already scolding! Soon they will beat!” - see “Days of the Turbins” by M. Bulgakov).

Lecture 13

Manipulation, protection from manipulation. Psychological self-defense

Lecture plan:

13.1 Civilized and barbaric influence. The concept of manipulation.

13.2 Civilized resistance to attack and manipulation

13.3 Constructive criticism

13.4 Civilized confrontation

13.5 Additional ways to resist influence

I found an excellent article about the psychological foundations of self-defense and self-defense: V. Mokshin. Psychological methods of self-defense against intruders. - Fundamentals of safety and life.

The psychological foundations of self-defense are more important than the physical foundations. So, if a person uses the data described below, then, in fact, he will not need physical impact.

This article echoes a series of articles about the Intention to Win, which has already been touched upon earlier on our website. So, let's move on to the article. A couple of comments and a few changes have been added to it, which, in our opinion, will improve the understanding and applicability of the material.

Victimology, that is, the science of victim behavior, can explain how a street robber or rapist is guided in choosing a victim. Studies have shown that it takes an offender an average of seven seconds to assess the potential target of an attack - his physical fitness, temperament, etc. The offender notes everything: uncertainty of the look, timidity of movements, sluggish posture, physical disabilities, mental depression, fatigue - in a word, everything which will play into his hands.

This does not mean that criminals are mindfulness geniuses or super observant people. Literally a week of training - and you will also be able to notice these signs.

To find out the main features of the personality of a potential victim, pedestrians were filmed on videotape. The recording was shown to prisoners serving time for various crimes. And here is the result. The vast majority of the convicts, who were interviewed individually, chose the same people from the extras who, in their opinion, could become easy prey.

It turned out that criminals usually distinguish potential victims by some distinctive features of their movements. This may be their general inconsistency, clumsiness of gait - too sweeping or mincing. Two categories of people have been identified:

the so-called "risk group". They can be conditionally called squishy: they are poorly physically organized, relaxed and unassembled.

and those with little or no risk of being targeted. These are self-confident, as they say, "well tailored, tightly sewn", they look and step confidently.

First of all, it is important to know what behavior can help you avoid encountering intruders. The following table helps answer this question:

We on the site so far have little touched on such a part of self-defense as emotions. But note that the list of traits in the left column is typical for a person in the "Fear" emotional tone. So a simple “I will not be a victim” will not get off here. But more on that in future articles. We return to the main text.

Well, now about how to learn to behave confidently, thereby reducing the risk of attack by intruders.

Self-defense is an act of self-confidence. It is a refusal to accept "victim status". So the training of aggressiveness and self-confidence turns out to be an integral part of the self-defense system. What's the point of training technique if you don't have the courage to apply it!

Assignment: give some examples from your life when you implemented the “act of self-confidence”, that is, when you successfully carried out self-defense?

But what is confidence? Confidence is a special type of behavior that helps us express - clearly and intelligibly - our feelings and desires. It is the opposite of passive behavior, where our utterance is often lost in vague or indecisive actions. Confident behavior, therefore, does not give rise to misunderstandings. You know what you want and what you don't want.

Consider the typical responses of a confident person to unsolicited attacks and threats. You should work on such answers, pronounce with conviction and with appropriate gestures: “Come on, don’t bother me”, “So I gave you my bag”, “Stop it right now!”, “Get out of my house!”.

Task: give some examples from your life when you showed confidence - that is, did not give rise to misunderstanding of your words or actions.

How can you show your confidence? There is a technique for showing confidence called “broken record” where you keep repeating a phrase about what you want or don’t want, and in a determined tone, until the listener either gives in or leaves. To effectively apply this method, it is necessary to replace some words, while maintaining the general meaning of the statement. For example, "You dare not enter my house!" changes to "So I let you in!" or “Why hang around here in vain, I won’t change my mind: you won’t enter the house” - and so on until your statement is perceived. The purpose of using the broken record method is to show perseverance.

Important note: your statements must be submitted in a new unit of time with the intention of being understood. Otherwise, you will really be perceived as a broken record or an answering machine. And they will act accordingly - that is, they will not pay any attention to your words.

Also note that this technique can be used not only when someone attacked you - but in any case, when you need to be understood.

Challenge: Successfully perform the broken record technique on people several times.

Learn to show your anger in front of the aggressor. Many people try to never get angry, preferring "a quiet life by any means." Most insecure people accept other people's behavior too easily. Meanwhile, you must not forget that you must also have your own opinion. Remember that you are not obliged to do anything that would be contrary to your desires. This is your life.

A little higher we have already touched on emotions. Now let's go back to them briefly. The paragraph about anger does not apply in all cases of life. It is applicable only when the attacker is in the "fear" emotional tone. He is afraid of rebuff, receives it in the form of anger - and runs away without salty slurping. However, if the attacker is on the “anger” tone himself… Well, in that case, you should learn to run fast and long.

Task: give some examples of why you should be able to show your anger?

In the face of aggression, a trained person does not act like a superman who knows no fear. Training develops self-discipline and self-control. It forms the ability to act properly in spite of fear. The ability to cope with fear and direct it into the mainstream of successful self-defense is the result of the efforts spent on the exercise.

Task: What is the ability to cope with fear?

By your confident actions, you make it clear that you are ready to stand up for yourself and should in no way be perceived as a potential victim.

Also keep in mind that "showing" confidence, "showing" the absence of fear at the moment when you are really afraid, may not help you. Many people can feel other people's emotions. Criminals are no exception (at least some of them are). So either you run away or you really are not in the “fear” tone.

In many cases, it is better for you to take the initiative and go on the offensive yourself, rather than waiting for events to develop, which can lead to even more complication of the situation. As Robert Browning, a nineteenth-century English poet, said, "When the fight is kindled in you, consider that you have won half the battle."

Task: give an example from your own life that confirms Browning's words.

Many conflicts and attacks occur through the fault of the victim himself, who shows by his appearance that he is either “ripe” (turned up in the wrong place and at the wrong time), or malleable (too easily accessible), or defenseless (drunk, scared, excited, too trusting ). By eliminating these factors, you will greatly reduce the risk of becoming a victim.

Task: analyze your behavior for "maturation", pliability and defenselessness - and eliminate at least a few (or better all) factors that make you a victim.

First of all, you should try to influence the potential aggressor by persuasion methods. At the same time, it is permissible even to forget for a while about your own pride. However, you must always be aware of the fact that the offender can attack at any moment and be ready to fight back.

If there is a possibility of a peaceful resolution of the conflict, it is worth trying to relieve tension, reach a mutually acceptable solution, or even seize the initiative.

Success in relieving tension or taking the initiative in a dangerous situation depends on your own actions.

* Or will not force. It happens differently.

** Most often, this sentence comes from the lips of the aggressor in the form of "Let's go, let's go." But if he forgot then you can remind

*** You may have noticed, but this paragraph conflicts with the previously mentioned “do not be afraid to show anger”. It seems that the authors of the article themselves understand that anger is not always useful. But they don't know what to do with it. However, you already know when anger works.

**** Why not encroach, if wisely? Read more in the article “Safe distance. Own safe space”

So, not all tips from this table are perfect. But of course, there is no one recipe for all occasions!

Task: give a few more examples of how to act in a collision.

The next important security factor is the ability to disrupt the plans of the attackers. This can be done with the help of unexpected, unconventional actions, causing confusion for attackers.

Exactly, surprise is what you need. Read more in the article “Surprise in self-defense”

If the victim resists, whether by word, physical action, or both, the surprise factor works against the perpetrator in exactly the same way that it should have worked against the victim in the first place. This is true in all circumstances, regardless of the type of incident: extortionists, purse rippers, burglars, they all rely on surprise. Depriving them of this factor is the first step to avoiding the unenviable fate of the victim.

Challenge: Come up with MANY examples of how you can thwart your attackers?

Do not freeze, but use the same important principle - surprise. Let us give a rather striking example of unexpected actions.

Success story: it happened in Italy. A criminal who tried to rob a pensioner lost his finger. An unknown person attacked a quiet old man who seemed to him absolutely harmless when he left the post office, having received his monthly allowance there. He tried to snatch the purse from the pensioner, but the old man, without hesitation, bit off the finger of the robber. Mad with pain, the robber rushed to run, forgetting about the wallet. On the same day, the bandit went to the clinic, not suspecting that the meticulous old man, although he kept his money, decided not to leave the attack without consequences and told the police. The carabinieri soon arrived in the hospital ward, showing the criminal his finger. Alas, the victim was forced to give up his own finger, so as not to end up behind bars. However, the police did not take his word for it: a forensic medical examination was scheduled.

Challenge: Again, give MANY examples of unexpected actions in self-defense.

The more examples you come up with, the less you will need to think in a critical situation.

If the conflict cannot be hushed up, you should use affordable and effective self-defense techniques.

You can confuse an attacker in various ways. For example, if you drop money on the ground, the aggressor may bend down to pick it up. This will give you the necessary moments to escape, and if escape is not possible for any reason, it will leave the enemy’s face vulnerable to a kick.

In the same situation, you can point out what is currently out of sight of the aggressor. Pretend that you see a policeman behind him. If the intruder looks back, you thereby gain valuable time again. Turning your head can throw your opponent off balance, which you should immediately use: a push or a blow to the face will further upset his balance, and you will accordingly have more time to escape.

You can pretend that one of your friends is approaching behind the back of the aggressor. By accompanying the gesture with a call for help addressed to imaginary people, you can take advantage of the confusion of the aggressor.

Another variant of the distraction technique is known as the simulation method, where you convince the attacker that you are about to give in to his demands and hand over, say, a purse, wallet or tape recorder, and you yourself take the opportunity to stun him by hitting him in the face, in the groin or in the throat , which will give you the seconds you need to escape.

Assignment: And again, give MANY examples of unexpected self-defense actions.

Simulation can take many forms. Real life example: when the robbers demanded all the cash from the head of the post office in Broadstairs, he, holding his heart, crashed to the floor and shouted for the criminals to call an ambulance. As a result, the frightened robbers fled with nothing. When the intruders fled, the head of the department got to his feet and called the police station.

If there is no way to retreat in front of superior enemy forces, play the role of a person with powerful support, who is about to be approached by reliable defenders (father, older brother). For example, entering the entrance, where the drunken company is located, the boy shouts, turning back (depicting that he is shouting to his backward father): “Dad, hold Jack! No matter how he breaks the guys in the entrance! - and, taking advantage of the confusion of hooligans, quickly passes by.

If you are detained and things are going to a conflict, try to make a compliment, divert the attention of the attackers to themselves. Hold on with dignity, do not be humiliated. For example, a girl who should not have expected anything good from tipsy guys in a dark alley turned to them with a request: “Guys, I see you are not timid! Walk me out to that house. I live here".

In a difficult situation, when several people attack you, identify a leader among them. Contact him. Try to play on his ego. So, one of the strongest sambo wrestlers in Altai, a very strong man, was squeezed from both sides on the roof of the train by armed criminals. Sambo techniques did not guarantee safety here. And then he turned to the leader of the gang: “Commander, I will take some of your guys under the wheels with me! Let's talk better on the ground during the stop. If you need money, vodka, I have something ... ”And this appeal worked: the guy was left alone.

Task: and back, give MANY examples of unexpected actions in self-defense.

In a situation where a criminal demands something from you, try to offer such options for fulfilling the requirements in order to buy time, change the conditions or place of the collision, change the balance of power in your favor. The most typical use of this technique for women. They invite rapists to their homes: there is music, wine, comfort. They declare that they like the man, but the meeting place (park, street, elevator, entrance) does not suit them. They bring a gullible villain home (not necessarily to themselves), and there ...

Task: give examples of using the considered protection technique.

If you think possible, try to arouse sympathy, pity in the attacker. Say that you are terminally ill, that you are going to get medicine for a seriously ill mother, that your father is under investigation, and that you have to take care of your younger brothers. For example, a teenager says to the robbers: “Uncles! Let me go or my mom might die. I urgently need to buy medicine for her. She has diabetes."

If you were abducted in a car, you can tell the attackers that one of your relatives saw everything and remembered the number of the car, the appearance of the abductors. It is known that by the number of the car (if it is not stolen), its owner can be found very quickly. In this way, the Barnaul girl Natasha secured herself, who told the unlucky kidnapper that her brother, who had a professional memory for car numbers, saw her off at the bus stop: he is a taxi driver. And it worked. Not every criminal would like to deal with taxi drivers.

Task: Compare the listed methods of self-defense. How similar are the recommendations? What is their difference?

In the event of a sudden occurrence of an extreme situation associated with the threat of an attack or the attack itself, you can perform a technique, look up, while taking a full deep breath, and lowering your eyes to the horizon, exhale the air smoothly, freeing your lungs from it as much as possible, and at the same time relax all the muscles . You can relax the muscles only when the breathing is in order. It is worth breathing evenly and calmly in an extreme situation, as the muscles relax too, and you will calm down very quickly. A few full breaths and exhalations - and everything is in order.

Task: practice this exercise regularly; don't expect problems.

Do not allow the manifestation of despondency and apathy. Strive to be or at least look cheerful, energetic in movements, speech, actions. Strive even in a difficult situation to find something good, pleasant or funny. Attackers prefer not to deal with people who are energetic, cheerful, endowed with a sense of humor. Yes, and humor itself can often help in an extreme situation.

In this regard, the case that happened with Yuri Nikulin is typical.

Late one night Nikulin was returning from the circus. There was not a soul on the dark streets of the city. Suddenly he was detained by armed robbers. Threatening with weapons, they demanded money from him. Nikulin was not taken aback. He laughed and stunned the robbers: “What are you, guys! I just got robbed around that corner! Catch up with those guys, they have all my money!” The unlucky robbers had to be content with communicating with the great artist. But in the dark they did not see Nikulin and let him go without asking for autographs.

Watch your appearance. Try not to stand out from the surrounding people with excessive extravagance, bright and unusual clothes, expensive things and jewelry. All this attracts the attention of not only law-abiding citizens, but also criminals. When choosing clothes, dark colors (dark brown, black) should be avoided, as they can increase the aggression of people around.

Task: pay attention to how people who are usually lucky, who rarely get into dangerous situations, who get out of the water "dry" behave. How do they achieve this? What can be learned from their experience? Strive to notice your mistakes and oversights to ensure personal safety. Learn from the bad experiences of others. Try not to make such miscalculations in the future.

Many may object: if you constantly think about danger, you can get to the point that you will shudder at every sound, you will see an enemy in every person ... However, being vigilant and being cowardly are not the same thing.

Being alert means paying attention to what is going on around you. Vigilance is a state of mind. In the context of self-defense, it is also a state of mind in which observation is brought to such an automaticity that it is used at the subconscious level and is not associated with any effort. Vigilance should only become conscious when danger is either seen or suspected. Caution and vigilance can be developed in oneself to such an extent that they become second nature. Thanks to these habits, you will know how to avoid an unpleasant situation before it arises.

And, of course, none of the tips is guaranteed to help if you do not work out their application in model situations with varying degrees of complexity. Tasks must be completed with a partner, since it is he who will evaluate how natural and complete the tasks turned out. Accordingly, I recommend doing the following practical tasks:

Talk to the "stranger" in such a way that he feels your confidence, readiness to stand up for himself.

In a collision with an "intruder", refuse to fulfill his requirements so that he feels your determination and courage.

Practice self-confidence with the broken record technique.

Try to behave aggressively, offensively, proactively when meeting with the “attacker”.

When faced with a "hooligan" try to act unexpectedly, in an original way. Disrupt his plans, puzzle him, create unforeseen circumstances for him.

Try to find a peaceful solution to the conflict at the very beginning, when the intruder is trying to find a reason to clash.

When meeting with the “aggressor”, try to relieve tension: speak in a confident tone, address the interlocutor with respect, etc.

When meeting with the "aggressor" try to confuse him, then to take advantage of his confusion.

During the “collision”, divert the attention of the “attacker”: call your father, hail a policeman, etc.

In a difficult situation, mislead the “attacker”: feign fainting, illness, deafness, etc.

Try to behave in such a way that the “attacker” suspects: “Something is wrong here! What good, his friends will come!” and so on.

Depict an accommodating person, ready to fulfill the requirements of the “attacker”. Taking advantage of the fact that his caution is blunted (puts "booty" in his pockets, etc.), act unexpectedly and decisively: "hit" or run away.

Practice overcoming excessive excitement, fear.

Try to behave with the "attackers" in a way that will play on their ego.

Talk to the “attacker” in such a way as to buy time, move events to the place you want, change the balance of power in your favor.

Practice speaking like this with the “attacker” in order to arouse sympathy, pity in him.

Try to act in such a way that the "aggressor" has no desire to deal with you (vomiting, runny nose, etc.).

You pass by a car. You are asked to come up, tell about how to get to the market, shop, etc. What are your actions in this situation.

A suspicious person is standing at the elevator door, offering to enter together. What will you do in such a case?

You have been kidnapped and taken in a car. Talk to the "intruders" in such a way that they decide not to touch you and let you go in peace.

You are walking along a deserted evening street. Suddenly you notice that you are being pursued, preparing for an attack. What are your actions in this situation?

During the "collision" depict a person who is weak, lethargic, incapable of fighting back. Lure the vigilance of the "attacker", act quickly and decisively (hit, run away).

During the game, demonstrate such a level of self-confidence that the "attackers" have doubts whether it is worth continuing the attack, whether it will turn out to be a big trouble for them.

In the course of game “collisions”, try to determine what your partner is up to: just asks for a smoke, asks about something, or is looking for a reason to fight, attack, etc. Your interlocutor should sincerely play either an attacker or just a passerby (in the pocket of him, respectively, different objects).

When confronted with a partner, try to determine in which case cruelty, insidious plans are hidden behind kind words. In another case, you need to discern inner softness and kindness behind the severity and rudeness. A partner playing the role of a kind aggressor or a rude kind man must show some acting skills.

Working in pairs, try to play decisiveness and even aggressiveness with words, intonation, facial expressions, and gestures. Try being aggressive in a form of refined politeness, such as, “Yes, of course, I'll give you a jacket, I like you so much. My older brothers also really “love” such brave guys!”

You were attacked. You are being threatened. They demand things, money, etc. Try to use humor. Act like you're laughing, but it's not the "intruders" who are laughing, but your financial capabilities, as if you were just robbed, etc.

Play the situation when you were attacked by an "armed robber". Act in a way that reduces the risk of him using weapons against you.

You have been attacked. You were left without things, etc. Describe the appearance, speech, demeanor, clothing, physique, and other signs of "criminals". To begin with, practice describing those who are now in front of you. Then give a description of the person, turning away from him.

6.2. PSYCHOLOGICAL SELF DEFENSE (PSYCHOLOGICAL SAMBO)

We are talking about self-defense, not self-defense, since at least three important differences can be distinguished between these concepts: 1.

They usually defend the weak, but the strong can defend themselves if they are attacked. 2.

You can defend yourself in any territory, while defending on your own land. 3.

The best way to defend is a counter attack, defense is the transformation of the material and form of the attack into new material and a new form for the emotional neutralization of the situation.

Psychological Sambo requires:

a) the use of clear speech formulas;

b) correctly chosen intonation - for example, calm, cold, thoughtful, cheerful or sad;

c) solidity in the answer, which is achieved: ?

pausing before answering; ?

slow response; ?

the orientation of the response into a space deeper and more extensive than that which is the immediate zone of collision.

However, to tossing a hot potato is to engage in manipulation or to respond with an attack for an attack. Contrary to the attacker's expectations, the addressee keeps the potato for some time, examines, examines, weighs it - and only then returns it to the invader in an unrecognizable form.

Self-defense requires calmness and thoughtfulness, perhaps even sadness. Once in a training session, I used the metaphor of a six-winged Seraphim majestically bathing a barbarian attacking him or an imposing manipulator with his wings. 1.

Majestic wing flapping. 3.

Verbal response:

And indeed ... To fly, you need something other than wings ...

Calm, thoughtful and sad intonations of the answer leave space for reflection, and therefore contribute to the transfer of interpersonal intervention into an informational discussion.

The use of other intonations, for example, assertive or caustic, will mean a retaliatory attack, again throwing a potato.

In the case of using the technique of an English professor, it is sometimes acceptable to use a cheerful intonation (see below). Cold intonation can be used only in those cases when the addressee uses the technique of external agreement and at the same time wants to make it clear that he is forced to agree with the manipulator, although this may not be very pleasant for him.

Each of the techniques of psychological sambo is not only a method of socio-psychological interaction, but also a method of reflection. Using speech formulas appropriate to these techniques, we bring ourselves back to reflection. The answer to the interventionist in the technique of psychological self-defense means that we remind both ourselves and him: not only hot potatoes fly, but also swallows, snow, comets, airplanes ...

Self-defense or self-defense - response actions of the state, legal entity or private person, taken to ensure the rights violated by the attack of another state, legal entity or private person.

Compared to any historical period, we live in the most civilized society. Many laws are designed to protect and maintain order. Not a day goes by without innocent people suffering from various acts of violence. Seeing the inability of the authorities to cope with crime, people seek to protect themselves and loved ones. Every person, being a member of society, has the full right to defend himself against unlawful encroachments on life and health.

It is this goal that leads many to engage in martial arts. A martial arts teacher is obliged to do everything in his power so that people can feel safe and live without fear for their own future. They can do this by teaching self-defense techniques and when and how to use them.

There are many different techniques that are equally applicable in different situations. Explore your needs and determine at a glance which techniques are most appropriate for size, strength, age, and physical ability.

Beginners are primarily taught simple and effective actions that they can easily remember and apply in various circumstances.

It is extremely important for novice athletes to feel the practical effectiveness of the techniques being studied. Arriving home, they will try to test the effectiveness of new techniques on friends and relatives. Therefore, when introducing students to techniques directed against the vital and most vulnerable organs (eyes, throat, groin, nose, shins, knees), be sure to understand that a properly executed attack can be extremely dangerous to the health of their loved ones.

Athletes who have moved to higher stages of training are introduced to holding joints and throws. Learning these techniques should be slow and gradual, before the athlete must fully learn to comply with all safety rules. Before throws are introduced into the training program, you will be taught how to fall correctly, otherwise you will not avoid back and neck injuries.

In addition, learn to immediately stop putting pressure on the joint as soon as the partner gives the appropriate signal, thereby feeling the enemy. Being trained under the competent guidance of a qualified instructor, athletes will be able to fully and safely master complex and effective self-defense techniques.

When teaching self-defense techniques by a coach, it is extremely important to focus on the fact that none of the learned techniques can be applied in practice outside the training room, unless there are good reasons for that. At the self-defense sections, you will definitely be informed how the laws in the country interpret the use of force in self-defense.

Self defense rules:

Be able to identify potentially dangerous situations;

Avoid dangerous situations. This is the best way to self-defense;

Avoid combat if possible by any means;

If the attacker demands material values, it is better to give them to him. Do not risk your life for money or other property;

Active self-defense is the last resort. In this case, act decisively, quickly and powerfully, making full use of all knowledge and skills.

Psychology of self-defense:

1) Calm down and relax;

2) Try to humanly negotiate with the attacker;

3) Try not to anger your opponent;

4) Try to divert the attacker's attention and make him relax and attack when he least expects it;

5) For the sake of saving a life, do not hesitate to use all possible methods of self-defense.

psychological self defense

psychological foundations of self-defense,

psychological methods of self-defense,

psychological self-defense of the individual

Psychological Sambo requires:

a) the use of clear speech formulas;

b) correctly chosen intonation - for example, calm, cold, thoughtful, cheerful or sad;

c) solidity in the answer, which is achieved:

□ pausing before answering;

□ slow response;

□ the orientation of the response to a space deeper and more extensive than that which is the immediate zone of collision.

A pause is perceived by the majority of attackers as a sign of strength, unless, of course, the addressee is silent not because he “has lost the power of speech.” The pause should be accompanied by a thoughtful facial expression and an attentive (even to some intentness) look into the face of the interlocutor. Too hasty response means that the addressee is not able to cope with the intervention and is in a hurry to "throw" the nucleus thrown into him, as they try to throw away a hot potato. However, to tossing a hot potato is to engage in manipulation or to respond with an attack for an attack. Contrary to the attacker's expectations, the addressee keeps the potato for some time, examines, examines, weighs it - and only then returns it to the invader in an unrecognizable form.

The use of other intonations, for example, assertive or caustic, will mean a retaliatory attack, again throwing a potato.

Techniques of psychological sambo.

Infinite Refinement Technique.

Detailed and accurate clarification of what is the target of the attacker or manipulator

A. You always tie your tie crookedly! When will you finally learn?

B. What would you recommend to change?

The use of this technique helps to consistently stay in the cognitive "layer" of the study of the problem. The ability to raise a question that requires a meaningful and detailed answer activates both one's own intellectual efforts and the mental activity of a communication partner. In order to raise a question, and in order to answer the question in essence, you need to think, which means that part of the energy charge is transferred from the emotional flow to the rational one. In addition, we win the time that the partner spends thinking about the answer. Thus, having found the strength in ourselves for the first clarifying question, we then get the time and energy in order not to let the feelings overwhelm us. The ability to extract an important clarifying question from a situation should be so refined and practiced that it does not let you down in a critical emotionally tense situation.

Possible answers in the technique of infinite refinement:

- What do you think is the most vulnerable to criticism in this sentence?

- What needs to be changed?

- And what color (style of clothing, style of speaking, turn of phrase) would be more appropriate?

- What would you advise?

Another variant of the infinite refinement technique is a detailed explanation of one's own position to the partner. You can conditionally call it "self-refinement".

Possible answers in the technique of self-refinement:

- You see, I'm really easy to offend, and for three reasons. First, I try to strive for excellence. Any misses and failures introduce me into a state of extraordinary longing. For example, last year...

- Let me explain everything to you. The fact is that every Monday I draw up a detailed plan for myself, including from 3 to 10 points ...

Technique of external consent, or "fogging".

Expressing agreement with any part of the partner’s statement or with the fact that what he drew attention to is really important, is of interest, makes you think, contains a valuable rational grain, enriches our vision of the problem, or even ... corresponds to the truth,

A. You look terrible in jeans!

B. You may be right.

This technique is especially effective against unfair criticism or outright rudeness, such as:

A. Don't be so self-confident!

B. Maybe.

A. Tell me, why are you looking at me so intently?

B. And really, that it's me ...

A. You could be more polite to me!

B. Yes, it is worth working on it ...

After "fogging" the critic falls silent, smitten. This technique has been described in works devoted to confidence training, mainly for women (Cotter S. C, Guerra J. J., 1976; Smith M. J., 1979). A confident person outwardly agrees, but at the same time may not change his position.

The technique of external agreement is important because it addresses the most important human need - to be in agreement. When a partner agrees with us, we plunge into an atmosphere of warmth, acceptance, even happiness. It's disarming. The person with whom they agree wants to be agreed with him further.

The technique of external agreement with a partner can be used in a wide variety of ways. In many of them, consent is no longer something completely “external”, not real. On the contrary, it is a readiness for agreement and a coordinated joint movement in solving a problem.

The partner will appreciate that we are at least willing to take his point of view into consideration. We, agreeing at first only “outwardly”, in words, give ourselves a chance to gradually find points of real, “internal” agreement. Here are the possible answers:

- What an unexpected thought! Will have to think it over...

- And indeed!..

- Right! And I don't even know!

- I will think about how I can take this into account in my work.

- You know, I have to agree with you, although it is difficult for me to do it right away.

- I often think about it myself, but so far I have not come to any definite conclusions.

- I'll see if this has anything to do with me.

Broken record technique.

In response to the attack, the addressee formulates a capacious phrase containing an important message to the attacker or manipulator. This phrase should be such that it can be repeated several times without violating the meaningfulness of the conversation. In fact, it should even be somewhat ahead of the conversation. It should contain what the interlocutors will come to on the third round of the conversation. They could have come to this on the first round if the attacker hadn't been so energized.

The broken record technique was described in the article "Women in Society" by Lyn Fry (Fry L., 1983. P. 264). Suppose a woman decides something definite for herself, for example: “I don’t want to discuss this issue today, because I need to mind my own business.” She then simply states this and continues to repeat her phrase until the message reaches the addressee. You need to be wary of distraction on side topics, for example: "I take into account that it is convenient for you to discuss this issue today, but I really need to do my own thing."

Application of the "broken record" technique

Manager A. You absolutely vainly ordered to take a person from

my department to prepare this presentation!

Manager A. I myself needed her today, you understand? You

put me in a difficult position!

Manager B. This won't happen again.

Manager A. And anyway, why do you think that you can through my

head to dispose of my employees?

Manager B. This won't happen again.

From the above dialogue, it is clear how important intonation is in this self-defense technique. As in a record that is "stuck", the phrase must be pronounced every time with the same intonation. Neither "metal" nor "poison" should appear in the tone of voice.

Multiple repetition of the same capacious phrase containing an important message to the attacker or manipulator, each time with the same intonation.

M. I thought you could understand me better ...

M. What's the use of talking if you don't understand

elementary things.

A. I am ready to listen to you again.

M. Maybe you just don't want to understand me?

A. I am ready to listen to you again.

Technique of the English professor.

In this technique, the partner correctly expresses doubts that the fulfillment of someone's requirements does not really violate his personal rights.

I formulated this technique based on my own experience. Once a colleague invited me to the 1st Medical Institute (in St. Petersburg) to be an interpreter in therapeutic sessions of a professor from the UK, a specialist in group psychoanalysis.

- Payment is not expected, - said a colleague. - But you will see from the inside how the group analyst works. You understand, this is an invaluable experience.

- Is this the first session?

- No, this is the third session, - answered the colleague.

I was surprised that the group was meeting for the third time, but it still did not have its own translator. After all, there are other connoisseurs of psychotherapeutic experience ... After all, I am not a professional translator, but a psychologist. However, I was very curious to attend such a session. From my previous experience, I already knew that being an interpreter of a strong psychotherapist is a special, incomparable experience, a unique and enriching merging with the Master's world.

And so I come to the general meeting of the course. It turns out that three teachers work with the course. The first speaker is a lady professor. Gorgeous, melodic, beautifully articulated English. I understand her perfectly. The second professor speaks. His English is already less clear to me, but if I constantly strain all my abilities, then I could translate it. Finally, the third professor, the oldest of all, George, begins to speak. Oh God! I don't understand a single word! No one! And then a colleague confidentially informs me in my ear: “This is yours!” Here it becomes clear to me why George still does not have a permanent translator.

“Listen,” I say. "Can't you give me another group?" I really don't understand what George is saying.

“No, you can’t,” the colleague replies. - Don't you worry! The group members will help you, they are already used to it. And I can't give you another group...

- But why?

- Yes, none of the translators will agree to exchange with you, - he answers.

So I had to translate a person whom I practically did not understand. Luckily, I mostly had to translate for him what the band members were saying. The classes were structured in such a way that the group actually worked independently, and George and I sat side by side on the sofa, and I whispered my translation of what was said in the circle into his ear. Only from time to time did George take the floor and say only one or two phrases that needed to be translated. The horror was that I could not translate even this little! But every time he said something really significant, deep. Literally uttered something of great significance. Later, when I began to understand him better, the deep meaning of his words often struck me. I still remember many of his sayings. But in those moments it was a painful experience - to know how important it is for the group to understand the essence of his statements, and not be able to translate them ...

In the evening I left the Institute in a state of mental warped. All evening and all morning I struggled to find words, and the next day I came early to have time to say something important to George. Waiting until we were alone in the room, I said:

- George, could you speak a little slower and in shorter sentences so I can translate more accurately?

George froze as if struck by thunder. I became uncomfortable. He seemed to be fighting with himself. Finally he said:

- I'm afraid not... You see, speaking quickly and in long sentences is... it's part of my personality.

I realized that it was impossible to continue the conversation. I needed to calm down.

“Sorry,” I said. - I'm sorry... I'll go get ready... See you at the session!

"See you, Elena," he replied with a polite smile.

I went to the landing of the stairs and lit a cigarette. I was angry with George. Professor, it's called! We are doing a common thing, why not help a friend? After all, we are on the same team, in the same team. How could you refuse my request?

And then, from somewhere on the side, something loud, fast and energetic suddenly rolled over me. It was one of the members of our group, who came from Zaporozhye.

“Elena,” she said defiantly, “doesn't it seem to you that you are translating for George what we say is somehow wrong?”

What the hell is this? I did not expect a blow from this side.

- What exactly was wrong? - I asked (the technique of infinite refinement never fails me - thanks to it I gain strength even in a difficult moment).

- Well, how do you translate, for example, the word "sleep" 5 ?

- How to "engage in sexual intercourse," - I answer.

- Don't you think it's too academic?! she asks forcefully.

- Of course, academically, - I answer. - But, you see... academicism is part of my personality.

And the whole situation changed instantly. My interlocutor fell silent, nodded and smiled!

This technique stops and softens the attack, although it can be emotionally distressing for the attacker.

Possible answers in the technique of an English professor:

- This is the subject of my beliefs..

- If I do this, then it will no longer be me ...

- It doesn't fit with my self-image.

- I appreciate some of my oddities and prejudices, because they help me find extraordinary solutions.

From the book of Elena Sidorenko "Training of influence and opposition to influence."