The man asked for a date and does not call. Risk group: which type of men is not right for you? Why Men Are Afraid of Dating: Common Features

Girls can be confused by the situation when their new acquaintance on the Internet shows an active interest in them and constantly writes, but does not offer to meet. There may be several reasons for this behavior. Consider why a man writes every day, but does not call out on a date - the most common explanations.

Causes

Your impatience

You like the person and you are pushing things forward. After a couple of days of dating, you are ready to imagine a happy married life. Perhaps your acquaintance feels that he is beginning to repulse him. No one will like it when the other side has already decided everything for two. This is one of the most common reasons why a man doesn't ask for a first date.

How to react to this
Some men are in no hurry to rush into the "pool of passion" with every new girl they like. You should also shift your attention to something else - for example, to work, study, sports, new acquaintances with men. So you are guaranteed to get an increase in his interest in your direction. He will feel that some of the pressure emanating from you has disappeared, and this will give him the opportunity to appreciate you from the best side.

At the same time, you should not constantly be near the monitor and monitor its messages - this will not lead to anything good.

His shyness

The man communicates, but still does not ask for a date? Often there are people who find it difficult to make acquaintances and transfer them to a new level of communication. Such a person will prefer to take the time to find out for sure how you feel about him and whether you will refuse his offer to meet.

How to react to this
You can openly say about your sympathy and that you do not mind meeting. Then the move is on his side: if he really liked you, he will gladly agree to make an appointment.

He is married

A married man can experience boredom and apathy in a hateful life. As a result, he begins to look for vivid emotions and impressions on the side. At the same time, he values ​​marriage and family, is not going to get divorced, and therefore does not transfer virtual acquaintances to real life.

How to react to this
If your boyfriend is constantly texting but not asking you out, decide whether to devote your time to such hopeless communication. If you find a man interesting to talk to, you may not want to end your acquaintance - just don't consider him to be something important.

He can only offer you friendship

Perhaps he is actively writing to you, because he is interested in you, he likes the course of your thoughts and reasoning, but as a girl you are not attracted to him. There can be many reasons why he is not attracted to you (he likes a different type of girl, he does not want a relationship at the moment, etc.).

How to react to this
If such a being in the "friend zone" seems to you something humiliating, it is better to stop communicating. Otherwise, you will become attached to this man more and more, hoping that one day he will see in you “the very one”. Plus, after you cut off the conversation, there is a chance that he will look at you with sympathy.

However, you should not hope for any change in his attitude towards you in the direction of romance and relationships.

His desire to form around himself a "round dance" of fans

Perhaps at the moment he is actively meeting and communicating with a huge number of girls, and you are just one of many who have not yet attracted his attention enough to ask him out and propose a more serious relationship.

How to react to this
What you should definitely not do is try to find out his attitude, provoke quarrels and express your suspicions about his "infidelity." So you are guaranteed to spoil the impression of yourself, and he will no longer want to have anything to do with you.

The best thing to do is start hanging out with other men or just turn your attention to some other area of ​​your life.

A man is apathetic due to a recent relationship

When the next relationship ends, especially if the breakup was preceded by scandals and brain-bearing quarrels, a person may shudder for a certain time even at the thought of a new union. He may write to you, even every day, but he will not consider you as a new companion in life.

How to react to it
If a man tells you that his relationship just ended and doesn't ask you out, it might be apathy. In this case, you should "let the situation take its course": if over time your friend wakes up feelings for you, he will let you know about it.

The man likes to "play" with you

Sometimes a situation happens that a man lives almost nearby, but does not make a date.

Perhaps your interlocutor likes to flirt with you, evoke strong feelings in you, hint at a serious relationship, make you jealous, but for some reason he does not want to transfer all this communication into real life. He may even live alone and not have a serious relationship - it doesn't matter.

How to react to it
The man calls, but for some reason does not make a date? The best thing is to cut off all interaction with such a person, even if you don't have anyone else in mind. With each day of communication, you will become more attached to him and you will no longer be able to meet other people - a new acquaintance in reality will seem to you not as interesting, passionate and delightful as a virtual one.

How to invite yourself

The rules and norms of interaction in society have changed dramatically over the past few decades, but some features have remained unchanged. So, it is still generally accepted that a man, if he liked a girl, is much more active. If a girl seeks to take the initiative into her own hands, then one gets the impression that she “knocks down her own worth,” and this can reduce attraction in the eyes of her acquaintance.

As a result, invite a man on a date yourself should be unobtrusive - ideally, make sure that this guy asks for a date himself.

For example, you might say that there is an interesting event in your city for the weekend and you want to attend. If a man has a desire to meet you, he will definitely take this opportunity to see you. If he remains silent and pretends that he “does not understand” the hint, then you can safely draw the appropriate conclusions and stop pinning any hopes on your friend.

Conclusion

So, there can be many reasons why a man does not make a first date. But it doesn't really matter as you should only pay attention to the guys who are really interested in you. With them, you will not painfully ponder the question of why a man does not take the first steps.

So what types of men are we at risk for?

Men who break up with you (for whatever reason). If he broke up once, someday he will do it again. A man who blames you for everything or yells “It's over!” Is likely to offend you again. You should think, "It's good that I got rid of him," not "How can I get him back?" Your boyfriend shouldn't even have the thought of leaving you.

Men who want to remain “just friends”. A man who invites you to stay friends after you slept together, met friends or relatives of each other, in a word, spent part of your life together - this is a defective product. This person "demotes you": do not feel flattered that he wants to keep you as a friend on Facebook and continues to send you SMS.

Men who cancel appointments more than once. You can waste more than one year on a man whose plans are constantly changing!

Men who don't follow through. If you have to remind him that you are on a date, then this is not the date to go on. And if he asks you out on a date and then doesn't come to him, it's over!

Men who create additional problems from the very beginning. Hayley was introduced to the guy by a mutual friend who showed him her photo. When Joey first texted her, she was holding a business meeting. He asked if he could call her in 10 minutes - the first "red flag": the guy believed that she could drop everything in the middle of the working day to talk to him. Hayley asked us what to do, and we told her to answer him the next day: "Sorry, I've been busy with meetings all day." He replied, “I was hoping to talk to you earlier. Okay, call me when you're free. " Haley unsubscribed an hour later: "Okay, or you can call me yourself ..." It was a kind of confrontation, finding out who would be the first to pick up the telephone receiver. He finally called her in the evening and made an appointment at the bar for the first time. But, of course, it was not so simple. First, he sent her an SMS with an offer to meet near his work, in the city center. Haley wrote back: "It would be more convenient for me if we met in such and such a place." Then the guy decided that they could meet halfway. But since the right girls do not meet halfway, she refused, citing busyness. We warned Haley, "Hold on, this guy is going to be a mouthful," shopper beware! Their preliminary correspondence was similar to preparations for the signing of a peace treaty. Indeed, throughout their first one-hour meeting, he spoke non-stop about his ex-girlfriend. We told her: “Next! Run as fast as possible! " He never wrote or called again.

Men who talk about other women. If your new acquaintance or boyfriend talks about his ex-girlfriend or other women in general, it means that he doesn't like you enough. Even if he speaks negatively about them, it usually means that he is not that much in love, just using you as a temporary outlet or a free therapist. May the buyer beware and ... the next one! If a guy really likes you, he wants to talk about you!

Alcoholics, drug addicts and people subject to any other type of addiction. If your boyfriend abuses drugs or goes into binges, beware: what you see is what you get. Perhaps one day he will become a teetotaler, or maybe not. You can convince him to contact Alcoholics Anonymous or reserve a place for him in a rehabilitation center; You can join a support group to figure out how to distract the person from alcohol with love, but don't assume that your actions will inevitably change them. Some men just can't change. Therefore, either accept it as it is and turn a blind eye to it, or part with it.

Men with ulterior motives. You make more money than him, and the man asks you to pay the check. He "makes a counter" when he finds out that you live in a two-story apartment with two bedrooms, while he has to huddle on the ground floor of his parents' house. In order not to attract a "gold digger" or "user", do not tell men how much you earn and do not spend money on them. And if you do not want to mess with a man who is trying to use you for sex, or to forget his old girlfriend, or just out of boredom, do not go to bed with him too soon, do not behave like a therapist and do not agree to meet with him "on the first whistle ".

Men who get angry if they don't see you all the time or hear from you too rarely. Sometimes women wonder how they can stick to the rule of “see him only two or three times a week” or “wait four hours before writing a reply” if a man asks you out on 24/7 dates and complains that you are not enough. answer quickly. You should politely explain to him that you are busy and cannot meet or correspond with him more often - and you do not have to explain the reasons. A man who really likes you will understand and be patient. But those who start to argue and complain that they will not be able to get to know a woman well if they do not see and hear her more often, usually turn out to be plunderers of time.

Men who don't ask you out on Saturday night dates. If a man always makes dates on weekdays, claiming weekends are “for men’s company,” he probably has a girlfriend, or he just doesn't like you enough and is looking for another option. Do not meet with him on weekdays, as such dates become too mundane over time. If he's serious, he'll take you on serious dates. Write to him, “I'm awfully busy at work this week,” so that he has to ask you out on Saturday, and no later than Wednesday. If he doesn't, then you are not the only woman in his life!

Men who don't make commitments. If you have been dating a man for nine months or more, and he does not offer to make your relationship exclusive and does not say “I love you,” then he is probably dating other women. If you met on the Internet a few months ago, check if his profile is still in place. It is unlikely that he just forgot or did not manage to remove him: he just still meets with other women. Beware! When a man is ready to commit, the first thing he says is “I don’t want to date anyone else, so I deleted my profile” and asks you to do the same.

May the buyer beware! - be careful or move on! Of course, that man, who for one woman turns out to be a "defective commodity", for another becomes Mister So-What-Should. Love, as they say, is evil, but the right girls don't put up with bad behavior!

This book is for those who are tired of one-off dates, who have been waiting for a marriage proposal for years, who want to create a harmonious and stable relationship, while everyone around praises free sex in the big city.

It often happens that he postpones dates, saying that unexpected circumstances have suddenly arisen. How to understand guys whose behavioral psychology sometimes defies any explanation - the article contains all the information.

Sometimes there comes a time when a girl feels that something is happening to her boyfriend. And sometimes, in order to avoid bitter experiences and suffering, you need to carefully study the behavior of a young person.

And it is especially necessary to pay special attention to, at first glance, unremarkable and inconspicuous little things that entailed an incomprehensible act and a change in its character. It often happens that he transfers dates, justifying this by the fact that he suddenly became a hostage of unforeseen circumstances, problems at work or a banal traffic jam.

As it is believed, psychologists in most cases, young people are simply not able to plan their daily schedule correctly, which is why they are late for a date. In this case, the girl should not wait for hours at the appointed place, but she needs to take care of herself and her business.

When a guy confidently conducts conversations on women's topics, gives advice on how to take care of himself, what makeup to use and where to get a pedicure, in this case, psychologists advise listening to his constant reproaches, as this may be one of the reasons that he does not come or is late for meetings. He probably thinks that the girl is not attractive enough for him.

At such a moment, the girl must remember that one should not enter into a skirmish with the young man. Such a straightforward behavior of his should not be taken as serious reproaches and taken to heart.

When a young man endures a date, he does not consider himself an unnecessary person. Psychologists explain this behavior only as the male ego. The thought that his deeds and excuses are not as important as the relationship with a loved one cannot creep into his head.

But if he finds himself in a completely opposite situation, he will surely flare up and demand detailed explanations. He believes that if a girl gave her word, she must keep it, that the most interesting thing is that he does not equate himself under this criterion.

Male impermanence, psychologists consider one of the problems of the strong half of humanity. That is why a man can make an appointment for the evening, and then, literally in half an hour, postpone it to the next day. Where, then, can a girl's good mood be found? And what is most interesting, he believes that you are obliged to endure his antics, since he is a man. Here that girl should think about whether she needs this egoist.

Sometimes the following situation happens when a guy shows some level of interest in a girl, but then begins to pick and choose, postpone the date, finding various reasons. There is some kind of resentment in his behavior, he becomes isolated in communication, which leads to his desire to dominate in a relationship with a girl.

In this case, the first thing that creeps into the girl's head is to get very angry, yell at him and throw out all your emotions on him. It is in this case that psychologists believe that a girl should not restrain herself and try to try on the situation, nothing will change anyway, such is the psychology of guys, but to promote this state of his.

You shouldn't shout, you need to tell him what she thinks in a loud monotonous voice without hysteria and stop communicating with him for some period. Thanks to this, even though it happened after the first date, even after a month of meetings, the guy will probably call and not only apologize, but also invite him to a romantic dinner.

Thus, if a young person is interested in a relationship, he will wean himself from allowing himself to be late or reschedule dates. The only thing that the girl needs in this case is to tune in not to communicate with him for the first time at all, and not in an hour to pick up and call him. Otherwise, there will simply be no effect. According to psychologists, this technique needs to be improved in relation to the temperament of a young man.

The next situation arises when a young man, according to him, is constantly busy and cannot meet. Psychologists are divided on this issue, but in most cases they agree on one thing that this is a simple disguise, which covers a lack of interest on the part of a guy in a girl.

This is often how it happens. Such a state of thinking is very convenient for a guy, because at any moment he can call and reschedule a date, stay late for a meeting, and if he gets bored with your company directly on a date, he can simply leave and not drag out the date for a long time, justifying this topic with affairs and concerns ...

And when the girl, again did not wait for him on a date, or he simply, as usual, forgot to call and warn, all she hears in response is how he was very busy, and he did not even have a minute to dial SMS from three words. This can go on for a single year. It all depends on how much patience the girl has.

Based on the current state of affairs, we can conclude that the guy has absolutely no time to pay attention to the girl. Often this position is also formed because the guy is trying to hide a parallel relationship with the other.

According to psychologists, this position is taken by guys who want to have a girlfriend with them, as a backup, just in case. It is unlikely that such a young man will have a mutual relationship.

As you know, if a person has some kind of feeling for the other - the second half, then he will make every effort and will definitely find precious time in order to meet with his beloved. In this case, he does not need to look for an excuse why there is no way not to come on a date. Here the girl just needs to dot the “i's” and tell the guy that she can't go on like this anymore, let him decide what he wants.

How to understand guys whose behavior psychology sometimes defies explanation? Here the girl will have to figure it out herself, because only she is able to bring the guy to clean water and determine whether he is lying to her or not.

His intentions are not clear - maybe this is serious, or maybe this is just a game? How do you know the true intentions of a husband of rank? It is not worth guessing by the chamomile, it is better to analyze his actions and evaluate them from the point of view of experienced psychologists.

A man has serious intentions if ...

• If a man likes you and you are important to him, already at the beginning of the relationship he will listen to you very carefully.
• If a man seeks to accompany you even to a place where he is not very interested, but he knows that it is interesting to you, this is an undoubted sign of a serious and interested relationship. Only a man in love seeks to share the interests and hobbies of his chosen one.
• If you have been dating for a long time, and he gradually (and not on the first day of the meeting) began to share his problems with you, then he appreciates your relationship and is ready to take it to a new level. But it is worth remembering: a man who, after a couple of days of dating, dumps his problems on you and builds a conversation so that you want to help him financially, is most likely a scammer!
• If he introduced you to friends and relatives, then he considers you as a future family member.
• If, when it comes to marriage and children, he does not transfer the conversation to another topic, does not get irritated, but is included in the discussion, then it will be possible to build a family with him.

Your relationship is not too important for a man if ...

• On the very first day of acquaintance, he brings down a flurry of compliments on you, and then literally insists on intimacy. If you are really interested in a man, he will "conquer" you, strive to get to know better. Even if after a couple of days of acquaintance he offers to stay in the evening "for a cup of coffee", then in no case will he insist and will not end the relationship after your refusal.
• He does not introduce you to family, does not take you to a meeting with friends. Here, as they say, no comment ...
• He only calls you to find out what your plans are for tonight. Apparently, he has a narrowly utilitarian approach to you. How are you doing and what are you doing at other times, he, apparently, is not interested.
• When talking about marriage and children, a man begins to get angry, move away from the topic or express dissatisfaction. Obviously, with such an attitude towards marriage, there is no wedding in his plans.
• The man is constantly postponing dates with you because of "very important meetings", "urgent matters", etc. It is obvious that communication with you for him is an optional, optional thing.
• He asks to postpone your meeting, since he was offered to go with friends to the dacha for a barbecue, fishing on the coast, etc. If you are not in the first place for him on the list of priorities, then there can be no talk of any future wedding.

Hello!

Immediately I must warn you: fortune-telling about the motives of the behavior of third parties - it is fortune-telling. And nothing more. None of those present here can reliably know for what reason a man avoids meeting. One can only guess.

The reasons can be completely different. For example, such:

1. In fact, he does not need "live" communication. Enough virtual. And he agrees to meetings only under your "pressure". And, at the last moment, it retreats.

2. A man is simply not sure of himself, fears that when you meet you will be disappointed in him and therefore delays this frightening moment to the last.

3. In fact, those force majeure events that he wrote about (grandmother, illness) occurred

4. Anything else

10. And anything else.

In fact, none of this is very important. Another thing is important: if a person is really interested in the development of acquaintance, then he himself will look for opportunities for such development. And if there are any obstacles, then he will sincerely and noticeably regret that these obstacles have appeared, as well as offer options to get around them. For example, like this: “Hello! We agreed to meet on Sunday, but we need to meet grandmother at this very time. I'm sorry, but I can't do it on Sunday. Maybe we can meet sooner or later? For example, Saturday or Monday? As it suits you best?". In this way, he would demonstrate his desire to see each other.

Apparently, you yourself perfectly understand this ( Usually, when people get sick, they feel it, they explain it more vividly, apologize, offer to postpone it. not dry sms)

how should I behave now? - Indicate your desire to develop familiarity and disagreement with purely virtual communication. Then take a break and give him the opportunity to take his own step.

Should I be the first to get in touch? - See above

Do you know about your well-being? - Yes, that's a courtesy that won't hurt anyone

It's his birthday on Friday - should you congratulate? - If you hope to develop your acquaintance, then yes, congratulations.

Or will all this underestimate my already low importance to him?- Nobody knows how he will react

Or be silent now and wait for an answer? - Already answered (Indicate your desire to develop acquaintance and disagreement with purely virtual communication. Then take a break and give him the opportunity to take his own step)

And suddenly get busy ... not ignore, but go the distance? - It's not very clear what you mean by distance. Better just not to intrude.

Should I say that I do not like such cancellations, that this is disrespect for me and my time?
- It is really worth saying about “dislike”.

It is important to understand that relationships cannot be built alone. This is a two-person process. You can and should take your own steps, take your own actions. Undoubtedly. But you need to "leave room" for the steps of another person. And if this other person does not take his steps, does not take any action, then it will still not work to create a relationship. To treat with understanding the difficulties that a person experiences (illness, force majeure, fears) is one thing. And not to notice that a person simply does not want is quite another.

Wisdom to you.

If you have any questions, please contact me, I will help you figure it out.

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