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Genogram in family psychotherapy. How to create a genogram

Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: Family History, Genogram, and You: 7 Hidden Influences. You know my love for history in general and pedigree in particular. I continue to shock my relatives even after drawing up the pedigree - expanding it to a genogram. It is a useful tool that can provide a lot of information about yourself and your actions. What is a genogram and how do you create it?

Family history, genogram and you: 7 hidden influences. You know my love for history in general and pedigree in particular. I continue to shock my relatives even after drawing up the pedigree - expanding it to a genogram. It is a useful tool that can provide a lot of information about yourself and your actions. What is a genogram and how do you create it?

First of all, I want to draw your attention to the fact that generating a genogram is an additional method with a weak evidence base. His results vary and are highly imprecise. AND this method is primarily of value as projecting the family's experience onto one's own experience.

A person is very plastic and your well-being and health primarily depends on yourself, and not on distant ancestors. It is wrong to blame all your problems on them. Yes, family history works not only in a negative, but also in a positive way. OK? And now to the point!

Genogramming is a technique that is often used in the field of family therapy. You can set the goal of researching relationships within the family. Noting on the diagram the distribution of roles in the family from generation to generation (who is the head of the family, who is the earner of livelihood, who manages the budget, who is the dependent), the peculiarities of the temperaments of members of the clan, or phobias, a tendency to depression, ways of communication, mutual sympathies or antipathies, You will find interesting patterns - for example, the tendency of the youngest children in the family to fall into seasonal depression.Or the traditional taciturnity of elders in the family of men - "patriarchs".

Family traditions are a good material to study and introduce into the genogram. How to enter into marriages, how to feed and educate children, how to treat the sick, a list of family holidays, the habit of congratulating with cards or lack thereof ... Professional preferences, the ability-inability to make a career ...

A genogram is a graphic representation of family relationships that span several generations., usually 3-4 generations. C its purpose is to show intra-family relationships and patterns of behavior transmitted between generations, and significant and hidden figures and events such as violent deaths, abortions, suicides, illness, professional successes and failures, and intrafamilial dyads and triangles.

The genogram allows the psychotherapist to look at family history as a system of transferring patterns of behavior in the family system to modern behavioral patterns. Find those "skeletons in closets" or artifacts, the behavior and relationships of which unconsciously affect the behavior and relationships of the client.

Family history makes it possible to learn certain stereotypes of behavior and patterns of interaction that are repeated from generation to generation. The study of this parameter has been started. M. Bowen, who was able to show that from generation to generation in family history there is an accumulation of dysfunctional patterns and this leads to the pathology of family members.

Family history can be reflected using a genogram. There are certain patterns that can be seen with the help of a genogram, for example, from a genogram, you can make an assumption about the choice of a marriage partner. Often, young people are looking for the kind of relationship that they tried to build with a parent of the opposite sex, but failed.

By constructing a genogram, you can uncover family secrets and discover one or more relatives that no one has mentioned in the family for a long time. The position of M. Bowen's theory of "intergenerational (intergenerational) transmission process" is consistent with the genogram.

These genograms allow you to reveal the hidden causes of fears, depression, a tendency to build relationships based on a triangle, etc. The fact is that something that you do not know at all can act on you. Pathogenic non-speaking is detrimental not so much because it maintains various kinds of ignorance in the child, but because the parents' irresistible anxiety about what they are hiding passes through it.

In psychotherapy, the genogram is also used as a projective technique.(F. Caslow). In this case, the client is asked to draw a genogram of their family (not family of origin). F. Caslow calls the genogram a projective tool for assessing the family of a particular person, giving many clues for determining the goals and process of psychotherapy

We are all links in the chain of generations, and sometimes we have to, to our own surprise, "pay the debts" of the past of our ancestors. This kind of "invisible devotion to the family" pushes us to unconsciously repetition of pleasant situations or sad events.

We are less free than we think, but we have the opportunity to reclaim our freedom and avoid fatal repetitions in our family history by understanding the intricacies of our own family.

The genogram method can be used to analyze the intergenerational transmission of patterns of certain types of family behavior, in particular parental and marital behavior. You will be able to trace recurring events, behavioral strategies, various trends in relationships (for example, the duration of marriages, etc.). With the method, you can see what factors influence the family scenario. Let's take a look at a few concepts from the genogram.

1. Role expectations and imposed roles.

“Invisible loyalty to the family” makes many of us live the life inherited from our ancestors. Every family has traditions, albeit unspoken ones. Every family has role expectations. Suppose that in one family it is customary to assign all financial responsibility for younger children and parents to the older child. In another, at least one offspring should receive a medical education, because in the family “all” were doctors.

Many fathers or authoritarian mothers keep their sons or daughters with them, saying, "I have sacrificed so much for you, so you are in my debt." Unfortunately, many young people are involved in this game and do not "isolate" from the family (as Murray Bowen put it), do not establish a distance between themselves and their family. They do not become adults because they feel bound by responsibilities.

The child either accepts an imposed role or becomes an outcast in his own family. Not many can rebel, go against their ancestors. They are labeled as "ungrateful" or "unlucky." They are told: "This is not accepted in our family."

Often adults say to a child: “you look so much like a mother!”, “He is very similar to grandfather Petya” or “frivolous uncle Sasha” ... The fear that the child will repeat the fate of not the most popular family character is often justified. As he grows up, he plays an imposed role. And sometimes the child is called upon to make up for the grief after the death of one of the household. The newborn is named after the departed and is made a “substitute”.

2. Double coercion.

The so-called Palo Alto group is meaningfully connected with the hypothesis of "double bind", "double coercion" (double bind) - a serious violation of communication in the family, when more than contradictory messages are expressed. They are structured in such a way that verbally one thing is affirmed, and in a different way, say, with the help of body language, another is affirmed.

Thus, the two statements are mutually exclusive or blocked. This is the so-called "double bond" - "double bind with double coercion." Therefore, if the message is an order, then in order to obey, it should not obey.

In addition, it is forbidden to say that the order is confusing, contradictory and “obligatory”. A person who has fallen into a position of “double coercion”, thus risks being punished (or feeling guilty) when he perceives things “correctly”, and being known in the family as “evil” or “insane” (“sick at the will of others” ) for showing the existing discrepancy (dissonance) between what he sees (perceives) and what he “should” see or experience.

3. Family myth

In the family system, the mental functions of one family member determine the mental functions of another; there is constant mutual regulation, and the rules for the functioning of the family system are both explicit and implicit, but mostly implicit.

Moreover, family members do not realize this.“It’s accepted in our family” - that is, the basic rules exist as if by themselves and it is believed that they do not require explanation.

The family myth is revealed through a pattern of functioning: some people act in life according to patterns that I would consider “unhealthy” (I don’t know how else to regard treason, vendetta, murder, healthy or unhealthy defense of “family honor”).

Such rituals form an aggregate, some integrity, a gestalt of relationships, unconsciously structured and involving all family members. Each of these rituals contributes to "balancing the family bills" where the attitude or "exploitative attitude" may or may not be balanced by the "generosity attitude."

4. Family secret

Debts are recorded between generations, "family accounts": the next generation has a debt to the previous one, and it must be repaid transgenerationally, downward, to their children.

If debts and injustices accumulate in generations, a new family member is already burdened with a heavy inheritance at birth. R. Kayes draws attention to the role of memory, individual and collective, thanks to which the history of generations exists and transmission between generations is possible.

Thus, transmission is the historical basis that binds generations. At the same time, the group, like the individual, has a tendency to eliminate painful things from memory, to reject what may pose a threat to the group as a whole and to connections within it. Such content is subject to repression, denial, transformation into a secret.

A secret is information that is forbidden to know, to disclose, which must be hidden. If it opens up, the stability of the family system may be disrupted. But the secret is transmitted, more precisely, ignorance is transmitted, the prohibition of knowledge and the knowledge of ignorance. Researchers compare the transmission of a secret to a black bottle passed down from generation to generation, which must be taken care of but cannot be disclosed - dangerous information is stored there.

S. Tisseron describes in detail the influence of the secret on the psyche of the child. All family secrets, no matter how wonderful the intentions that generate them, are always perceived by the child as violence. Violence that he will never forget, which will hang a heavy burden over his entire mental life and will rebound on his professional, love and social life.

Even if parents are sure that children cannot find out about the secret in any way, the latter feel its presence, since the secret is transmitted not only verbally. It "shines through" through the intonation of its carrier, his gestures, the use of inappropriate words, and even through the surrounding objects. Children, on the other hand, feeling painful splitting in their parents, make great efforts to make the parents believe that they know nothing.

5. Syndrome of ancestors.

Ancestor syndrome is a coincidence of dates of significant events occurring in the same family for several generations, a repetition of the circumstances of life and death, as well as the transfer of unfulfilled family debt "by inheritance". The action of the ancestor syndrome is associated with the “unconscious” of the family, which is invisibly present in the life of any person, from the moment of conception to death.

How does it work? While still in the “project”, inside the mother, the child is already becoming an object of expectations from his family: who will the child be born into, whose hopes he will justify by his birth, etc. It doesn't matter if the expectations of relatives are expressed out loud or are implied "by default". What is important is that they unwittingly form a "past scenario" of the child's future life. And a family secret always only increases the likelihood that descendants will repeat the negative experience or the plight of family members who lived earlier.

WITHThe most frequent form of transmission is more based on verbal communication. And if from childhood the girl saw how her mother, grandmother (and great-grandmother too) lived according to the formula - "kitchen-husband-children", then most likely her main asset will be: a Tefal frying pan, a Samsung vacuum cleaner, a couple of TV series, homework in mathematics both to the Russian and the "eternal" hope that today the "dear" will buy her flowers. And it is unlikely that professional self-realization will be a priority for her.

To recognize live signals, it is enough to analyze the most repeated phrases of your mother or grandmother. As the child was most often called in childhood - "ah, my beauty!" (programming for an extroverted style of behavior), "ah, my clever girl!" (the bookmark of the importance of intellectual characteristics), "you are our firstborn and favorite!" (programming for a leadership position) - etc.

Moreover, very often the assessment and expectations of parents can radically disagree with the true personality traits of the child. In addition, it could often be said, something like “it is not customary in our family to marry before the age of twenty-five” or “we are mental workers, there will never be artists and other comedians in our family” ...

6. Transgenerational transmission.

It occurs through several (sometimes very distant from each other) generations and is based on non-verbal language. To understand the mechanism of transgenerational transmission, you need to understand the essence of family non-verbal attitudes. For example, you may not know anything about your great-grandmother because neither your mother nor your grandmother ever said anything about her.

But the subconscious mind is much more attentive than you, it does not miss a single gesture-act that indirectly betrays a connection between an event and your relative. Let's say a great-grandmother was widowed at the age of 31, a year after the birth of a child. And somehow she became the cause of the death of her husband and never married again. Of course, the details of the tragedy in the family are hushed up. And even your grandmother may not be aware of what happened to her father. But exactly one year after your mother was born, she divorces her husband. And she never gets married again.

Your mother, in turn, loses her husband - your father. Would it come as a surprise that you still haven't found marital happiness or had a history of unsuccessful relationships? The attitudes of the ancestors can be different. But no matter how they sound, they always inspire a high degree of confidence in a person. After all, we hear them from early childhood and from the people who are most significant to us.

This is especially true when parents, as well as previous generations, have suffered serious mental trauma in their lives; information about this will be passed on to descendants. If this event was mentally processed, symbolized, inscribed in individual memory as an experience that received the status of the past, memories, not only the content of the traumatic experience is transmitted to the descendant, but also the methods of its mental processing and coping with it, which affects the individual development of the child.

7. Power word effect (self-fulfilling prophecy)

Not believing in a curse, you can think about the effect of a strong word accompanying a strong emotion, especially coming from an authority figure - a priest, parent, teacher. It is because of the unconscious nature of the impact of what is said or predicted that I do not trust astrology, fortune-telling on cards, reading lines on the hand, clairvoyance, since no one knows whether sometimes the predicted misfortune is realized precisely because of the spoken strong word, which in the minds of people leads to failure, death, accident and thus makes them possible or predictable, thereby affecting the change in the body - space - time - future (this kind of brings the "automatic fulfillment of predictions" closer and, as it were, creates the stress of the prophecy ).

This is what can be the evil eye, familiar to us from numerous fairy tales, legends, stories about sorcerers and the vicissitudes of fate. But stress can arise from a negative prediction, and in a similar way the situation can improve with a favorable prediction and a positive outlook ... "

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that directly or indirectly affects reality in such a way that it inevitably turns out to be true in the end. A prediction that looks to be true, but in fact is not, can significantly influence people's behavior (for example, through fear or through a sense of logical contradiction) in such a way that their subsequent actions themselves lead to the fulfillment of the prediction.

Different genograms

It is possible to make genograms that trace the transmission and specific response patterns.

A genogram focused on feelings can help uncover the reasons for those decisions and beliefs. It can be used to gather significant information about general feelings in the family and may take several sessions to complete. Such a genogram can include answers to the following questions:

    What feelings were predominant in each of your family members?

    What feeling, mood was predominant in your family as a whole? Who created this mood, who was responsible for it?

    Which feelings were the most frequent and which were the most intense?

    The expression of what feelings in the family was forbidden? If the taboo feeling did manifest itself, what was the punishment?

    What happened when feelings were not expressed in the family?

    Who in the family knew and who didn’t know how others felt?

    What happened to you when you expressed a forbidden feeling or feelings?

    How did you adapt to life, experiencing such, so to speak, unwanted emotions?

    Have others tried to impose their opinions on you on how and how you should feel?

    Have you ever seen someone lose control of his or her feelings? What happened then? Has anyone in particular suffered from this? How exactly?

    If your family used physical punishment, what feelings did your parents express? What feelings were allowed to children?

    Do you have feelings that you cannot explain, but which are close to those feelings that you experienced in the past?

Questions about what feelings were presented in the family, what feelings were acceptable or unacceptable, and how different feelings were expressed, explain the historical basis of the relationship. For example, the partner may then begin to see how certain feelings have always been blocked. And that relationships that may have once been functional and useful may no longer be functional today.

This applies equally to socially disapproved feelings like anger. And in this case, the parental family is just as strong a factor in the development of this system of views, as well as others. Children learn a lot about anger and conflict as they see, or fail to see, in their parents' behavior. And the strength of this influence is difficult to exaggerate.

When a partner feels that certain feelings cannot be experienced or expressed, applying an appropriate focused genogram can help uncover the cause.

A genogram focusing on feelings of anger (Anger Genogram) illustrates these influences (DeMaria, Weeks, & Hof, 1999).

She provides answers to the following questions:

    What do you think is anger?

    When you are angry, what does it mean?

    When you are angry with your spouse, what does it mean?

    When a spouse is angry, what does it mean?

    When a spouse is angry with you, what does that mean?

    How do you react to your spouse's anger?

    How do you react to your own anger?

    How do you let your spouse know that you are angry?

    How long does your anger usually last?

    What other feelings do you associate with anger?

    How did your parents handle anger, conflict?

    Have you ever seen your parents in anger or conflict towards each other?

    When someone in your family (named each) became angry, how did others react to it?

    How have you adjusted to the anger of each of your parents?

    When one of your parents was angry with you, how did you feel and what did you do?

    When you got angry, who listened to you, or was able to listen? Who is not?

    How did your family members react when you got angry?

    Who is allowed and who is not allowed to be angry in your family?

    What is your best / worst memory of anger in your family?

    Has anyone in your family been seriously hurt in a situation where someone else was angry?

Genogram questions often show differences in certain patterns of parenting families of both partners, and the associated feeling of comfort versus the intensity of the expression of emotion.

It will be interesting for you:

For example, for those growing up in a family in which conflict manifests itself through distance and isolation, the emotional intensity can be very uncomfortable. Likewise, those who grow up in families with volatile emotions are more likely to be emotionally spontaneous and volatile as well. published by

The genogram allows you and your members to see your family tree in a useful and creative way. This is a great way to phase out your entire family's system space.

Using the Model Mind as your guide, you will be able to recognize hereditary family diseases as well as negative emotional and relationship patterns, personality traits and family beliefs that have been passed down from generation to generation. It helps the next generation to overcome family illnesses and all family members to cope with family problems, improve relationships and maintain strong family ties. When composing your genogram, try to be as detailed and detailed as possible.

Include both negative and positive emotional patterns, all important details of medical history, etc. Remember, too, that climbing a family tree can be enjoyable, but more often than not, it can be exhausting and sometimes scary. Inspire all your family members to contribute to the genogram. Usually, the more help you get, the better your genogram is.

SEVEN DIMENSIONS OF YOUR GENOGRAM

Your genogram has seven parts, each of which will be useful in its own way. Try to fill in every part as much as possible.

1. Family tree:

Start with a diagram of your family tree. Use a square for each man and a circle for each woman. Draw your own situation, then your spouse and children, as shown in diagram 2. This will be the “core of your family” and the center or “trunk” of your family tree.

Now expand your schema to include the different branches of your family tree. Keep expanding the diagram until you depict your parents and all their children, your grandparents, and their children. Don't worry if you can't figure out all the details. Just draw circles and squares for as many family members as you can count.

Then number your circles and squares and write in each name and age, as shown in diagram 2. That way, you can refer to each person by number or name. At the end, enter the dates of marriages (B) and divorces (P).

2. Medical information:

Tracking histories of family illnesses and medical conditions can be very helpful if you know what to look for. Diseases such as diabetes, alcoholism, disorders of the heart, pancreas and liver are sometimes transmitted genetically. Arthritis, multiple sclerosis, stress reactions, and emotional disturbances such as obsessions, depression, hostility, and an excessive guilt or sensitivity complex are likely to be more important than broken legs (assuming you have a predominance of broken legs in your family!). The point is to keep your eye on a recurring disease, condition, or ill health on your family tree.

3. Emotional patterns:

See how each person feels for himself, for others, and for life. Some may be open-minded, receptive, cheerful, lucky, or optimistic. Others may suffer from depression, various phobias, harsh dispositions, disgust, jealousy, or negativism. You can usually identify these patterns by asking questions like, "What five words do you think would best describe your grandfather?" Then compare how you see your grandfather with how others see him.

One of the family members may say: “90% of the time the grandfather was angry”, another enters the conversation and adds: “Yes, and the other 10% unhappy!” Children can understand how grandfather developed his negative emotional habits, knowing that he was always angry. It can also help the present generation overcome these "inherited" patterns.

4. Dynamics of relations:

Now look at how your family members relate to each other. For example, you might ask, "What kind of relationship did Mom and Dad have?" "How did Grandma deal with Grandpa's anger?" See if the family relationship is open or closed, judgmental or exploratory, manipulative or seeking compromise. Discover how your family handled a relationship crisis, in whose hands were superiority, who made more decisions, and who made less.

Define the categories of any relationship between your family members or relationships between family groupings with a quality that characterizes them (distant, hostile, close), and highlight special relationships in capital letters (A, B, C) so that you can describe them more complete on a separate page.

5. Family system:

You will also find it helpful to take a look at how different parts of your family system work together, or how they fail. Are there any coalitions (special groups that stick together and do not give others access) or special roles assigned to certain family members or parts of the family? Are there any irregularities (divorce, separation of spouses, family feud), family geeks or “problem” people? Can you understand how your family system works and is passed down from generation to generation? Maybe you want to use colored pencils to highlight specific parts of the family diagram so that you can describe them in detail by color.

6. Family Beliefs:

Your family members pass on their beliefs to you in every area of ​​family life: how to raise children, how to deal with teenagers, when and whom to marry, how many children, how to make a living, what is the best job, how to measure success, how to cope crisis, loss, trauma and tragedy, how to grow old and how to face death.

Pay close attention to your family beliefs: they are probably the most similar to what you believe, knowingly or unknowingly, and dictate how to survive and how to live. If they are immature, broken, or dysfunctional, they can constrain your thinking, block your development, and keep you from reaching your potential. Exploring those beliefs is the beginning of aligning them with your HIGHEST POTENTIAL.

7. Society and your family:

Finally, take a step back and see how your family sees themselves as a part of society. How does your family as a whole present itself to society? What other systems does your family identify with? And how does society usually respond to your family?

When composing your genogram, try to answer the following questions as completely and completely as you can:

1. What serious (physical) medical conditions do you have in your family?

2. What are emotional illnesses? (alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness).

3. What were the fatalities and what were the causes of death?

4. What are divorces or separations of spouses, infidelities or secret relationships?

5. How would you best describe the personality traits of each family member?

6. How do family members express love and affection? How do you know about this?

7. How do family members argue? How do they express anger? How do you know they are angry?

8 who was an extrovert and who was an introvert?

9. Who was the main provider and who was the main dependent?

10. What alliances, coalitions and subsystems do you have in your family? What are their rules and restrictions?

11. What are your family myths? What are their secrets?

12. How do your family members communicate with each other? (words, gestures, expressions, body language).

13. What are your overriding values? What are your family values?

14. How does masculinity and femininity manifest in your family?

15. What are your family "do's and don'ts", "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts"?

16. What happens to feelings in your family: are they acknowledged, communicated, or avoided?

17. How are decisions made in your family? Who accepts them? Who is involved?

18. How do family members behave in society compared to their behavior at home?

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Genogram - the story of your Family

Each of us, whether he wants it or not, is a descendant of his Kin, a member of the family of his ancestors, an element of his own family system. Belonging to the family system is one of the very important and significant resources of a person, which increases the success and efficiency of his life. The feeling of love and support from your ancestors, the feeling of belonging to your Family, the feeling of the strength of your Family, gives a person a huge life resource, called "love of the family."

A person, for some reason cut off from his kind, resembles a tree without roots. He often feels lonely, cannot be successful enough, self-confident and effective. If he does not receive the love and power of the Family sufficiently, then he cannot transfer this power further - to his children. That is why, in the families of aristocrats, it is an honor to have a deep knowledge of their family history - genealogy. Knowledge of their roots, knowledge and reverence for each ancestor gives descendants a special resource - vitality - the love of the family.

A child is born thanks to his parents - mom and dad. It combines two huge clans - the clan of the mother and the clan of the father. And if a child accepts and respects his parents, he receives one hundred percent of the strength of his kind. If one of the parents, for some reason, is not accepted by the child, then the child thereby loses half of the vitality - the strength of his Kin. If the child does not accept the father, then he is deprived of 50% of the male power, and if he does not accept the mother, then 50% of the female power. And, as a result, the flow of love is interrupted, and a person may have certain life problems and difficulties.

Parents give the child the most valuable thing - his life. This particular child could not have received his life in any other way under other circumstances from anyone else. Even if one of the parents were a little different, then someone very similar to him would be born, but it would be no longer him, but a completely different child! A deep awareness of this fact usually helps a person accept their parents.

In order to restore the interrupted flow of love of the clan and find a joyful, reinforcing sense of belonging to one's family system, one's Clan, one's "family tree", the Hellinger method of family constellation is effectively used.

According to Bert Hellinger's approach, each person is part of a specific family-clan system. As part of the system, a person is included in some systemic family-clan interaction, which has a significant impact on his entire life and destiny. This interaction can be structurally described by the categories and orders of general systems theory. Within each family-clan system, certain laws operate according to which it lives and develops. These laws are the same for all family systems. Bert Hellinger called them "orders of love."

One of the laws of the family system is the "order of belonging." Each member of the system has the right to belong to it. No one should be excluded, regardless of his actions, life principles, etc. Nobody is forgotten. The system equally remembers everyone who belongs to it (or belonged), and clearly defines the place of each. Everyone is important for the system - without him his children would not have been born and everything in the family would be different.

If someone from the members of the system for some reason was excluded from it - forgotten, vilified or deliberately deleted, then someone from the descendants of this family system can repeat his fate, carry his feelings, live his life - mix the excluded person, even if it happens after several generations. This is due to the system's desire for integrity, reimbursement and homeostasis. Any system strives for balance and survival.

In the family system, unfinished processes of the past unconsciously involve living members in what was long ago. This is the law of balancing the system, obeying which the descendants must complete the affairs unfinished by their ancestors: "finish", "burn out", "live" something and for someone. If someone in the family was forgotten and deprived of their right to belong to the system (a missing grandfather, an aborted child, a repressed or murdered relative), someone else from the family system will take his place and live like him, reminding of the excluded. There will be “interlacing”, projection or substitution of destinies - ie. some of the living descendants of the excluded will be connected ("entwined") with him and his fate. At the same time, he himself may have a difficult fate, it is difficult to realize his “I”, his actions, his needs and desires (the consequence is inappropriate behavior), to live for another, eat for another (the consequence is overweight), work for another ( consequence - hyperactivity, workaholism).

Thus, the unsuspecting descendant finds himself entwined with the fate of his ancestors, about which he most likely knows nothing. Without realizing it, he does not live his own life, solves other people's life problems.

To solve this problem, it is necessary to restore the right to belong to the family of members excluded from it - i.e. take them back into the system, thereby restoring integrity, order, harmony and the flow of love.

A genogram allows you to work with family history - a graphical record of information about a family, a schematic representation of a family over several generations. Sometimes a genogram is called a "genosociogram". Its compilation and research is one of the methods of psychotherapeutic correction of family relationships (family psychotherapy).

The genogram is a fun way to learn about yourself through your family history. It allows you to establish contact with your ancestors, see and understand your position in the system. When compiling a genogram, an excluded or forgotten ancestor may appear. Building contact with him will avoid interweaving for posterity.

Generating a genogram is based on the client's knowledge of the family system - their ancestors, relatives and people who are important to his family system. And the more knowledge, the more accurate the genogram and the better the contact with the ancestors.

Family history knowledge can be categorized as follows:

1. Facts... Facts include knowledge that is precisely known and verifiable - for example, date of birth, last name, first name, patronymic, place of residence, place of work, position, etc. The facts are of the highest degree of certainty. To get the facts, you can, if possible, ask your relatives who may know something. Information about those killed and missing in the war, repressed relatives can be found in the archives. Some archives are freely available on the Internet, and, if you wish, you can try to find information about your relatives directly from your computer.

(* The addresses of online archives can be found in the support service.)

2. Legends... Many families have stories, stories, myths and legends about ancestors that are passed down from generation to generation.

3. Family values ​​(artifacts)... Any items that are inherited from generation to generation. Items that carry to descendants the memory of the ancestor who possessed them. For example, it can be jewelry, medals, grandmother's samovar, photographs, documents, books - each family has something different.

4. Memories... Memories include memories of any events that happened to family members. For example, it can be some kind of visual images, or a favorite melody of childhood, or a feeling of bliss, the smell of freshly cut hay, the taste of fresh milk, grandma's mushroom soup, or something else that people remember at least something and can tell.

5. Assumptions and speculations... The client himself can have, or make up, some idea about his ancestors. For example, if he knows that one of the ancestors was a merchant, then in history books you can read about how the merchants lived. If possible, you can visit the museum, see the life of that time and form an assumption about how this merchant - ancestor lived approximately.

It should also be noted that all information about each system for the entire period of its existence can be obtained from the information field. The field always exists, regardless of us and our knowledge about it. Even if the client does not know anything about his ancestors, the field is still there, and data from it can be read, for example, using the family constellation method.

All this knowledge can be useful when drawing up a genogram.

The genogram of a family is a kind of family tree, or genealogical tree, on which not only family members can be reflected, but also the relationship that was between them.

With the help of a specialist, or on your own, you can compose and analyze the genogram in the following areas:

Family (genealogical) tree.

The family tree shows who descended from whom.

Perhaps you will be surprised by the fact that if you take 7 generations up from you, taking into account only direct ancestors - parents and their parents, excluding their brothers and sisters, then there will be 127 people on the genogram.

Don't worry if you don't know any of them for some reason. For starters, you can draw common symbols of people - circles or squares. Do this for as many family members as you deem necessary.

Medical information.

The genogram can be used to investigate recurring family scenarios - for example, recurring family illnesses. The idea behind looking for repetitive scenarios is to keep an eye on a fact that has been recurring in your family over several generations. You can trace the history of family illnesses. Diseases such as alcoholism, diabetes, heart disease, pancreatic disease, liver disease, and some other diseases are sometimes genetically transmitted.

Emotional patterns.

Pay attention to how each person in your family system feels for themselves, for others, and for life. Some may be open-minded, receptive, cheerful, lucky or optimistic, while others may suffer from various phobias, depression, jealousy and negativism, and have a tough, stern disposition.

Emotional patterns can be identified by asking questions such as: "What five words do you think would best describe this relative?"

After that, you can compare how you see this relative of you with how other people see him.

Some of the family members may say: Most of the time (70%) he was angry, angry, taciturn ", another will add that" He had bad contact with people, was in conflict and was an unhappy person. "

This approach can help you see and overcome “inherited” patterns.

The dynamics of intrafamily relations.

With the help of a genogram, you can trace how members of your family system relate (or relate to) each other.

For example, you can ask your parents: "What kind of relationship did grandparents have, uncle and aunt, etc."

Family relationships, for example, can be distant, intimate or hostile, withdrawn or open, judgmental or exploratory, manipulative or seeking compromise. With the help of a genogram, you can see how members of your family over several generations have dealt with a crisis of relations, in whose hands there was superiority, who made decisions, whose word meant more and whose less.
All this information can be shown schematically on a genogram.

Family system.

You can try to figure out how your family system works, how different parts of it work together, or how they fail.

You can see if there are any special groups (coalitions) that stick together and do not give access to others, or special roles assigned to certain family members? Are there any violations (divorce, separation of spouses, family feud), family geeks or "problem" people?

Family beliefs, values.

Whether you like it or not, your family members pass on their experiences and beliefs to you. This happens in any area of ​​family life: how to raise children, how to deal with teenagers, when and with whom to marry, how many children should be, how to earn a living, what is the best job, how to measure success, how to cope with a crisis, loss, trauma, tragedy, how to grow old and how to meet death.

Pay close attention to your family beliefs. Most likely, they are very similar to what you consciously or unconsciously believe in. They dictate how you need to live in order to survive. They can limit your thinking, block your development, and keep you from reaching your potential if they are dysfunctional, broken, or immature.

Your family and community.
It will be very good if you look at how your family sees itself as a part of society. How does your family present itself to society? With what other systems does he identify himself? And how does society usually respond to your family?

Drawing up a genogram begins with the person who wants to build it, i.e. if I want to compose my genogram, I will start with myself, then go to my parents, then to my grandparents, great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers, and so on. It all depends on how much information I have about my ancestors.


An example of a genogram

There are certain rules and symbols for drawing up a genogram. Usually, men are denoted by squares, and women - by circles, near which you can indicate the date of birth of a person, the date of his death (if he has already died). The lines between the icons denote relationships between people - entering into a relationship, into a registered or unregistered marriage, separation, breakup, divorce. You can schematically indicate the nature of the relationship between certain members of the genus - close, conflict, etc. For your own genogram, you can use both standard designations and your own.

You can build a genogram on sheets of various formats, but it is much more convenient to use computer programs designed specifically for working with genograms. At any time, you can enter new information into the created genogram file, change something, correct it.

What to do with the resulting genogram?

You can invite a professional artist who will beautifully depict your family tree on paper or canvas. The resulting picture should take its rightful place of honor in your home.

Meet your relatives, talk about your ancestors, discuss your family history. And, over time, you will create your own genogram. And this special knowledge will give you pride, self-confidence and strength of your Family.

A genogram is a graphic map of a family or its history, where special symbols are used for all family members, as well as for their relationships, significant dates, historical events. The gennogram helps to identify the sources of recurring problems, physical illness, depression, genetic diseases, etc. Usually, genograms are used by various specialists in the field of medicine and psychology, but you can do it yourself.

To do this, you need to ask all family members, as well as those who are somehow involved in your family. Then, using special symbols, create a gennogram (see below), as a result of which you get a real family (genealogical) tree.

Step 1. Family scheme

Take a blank sheet of A3 paper (in the future you can glue additional sheets as your tree expands).

There are several options for compiling a family tree:

1) Start with yourself by adding your spouse and children.

2) start with parents

3) Make two trees from each of the parents, and then glue them together, where you will be the center.

Choose the method that works best for you.

Traditionally, men are indicated by a square and women by a circle. After drawing yourself or your parents, start expanding the scheme by placing your grandparents, great-grandparents and great-grandmothers, as well as all their children (including aborted, stillborn, and infantile deaths) up to the 7th generation (total 126 people of direct relatives). Don't worry if you don't know much about your ancestors, just draw circles and squares for all your family members. In the place where you know the details, include name, age, dates of birth and death, and dates of marriages and divorces.

Step 2. Family physiology

Next, trace the history of diseases in the family, since most diseases are transmitted genetically, this information will be very useful to you.
Your main task is to find recurring diseases in your genus.

Step 3. Family psychology

Pay attention to the feelings that each person in your family had for themselves and for others. You will notice that some family members are open, friendly, cheerful, optimistic, while others, on the contrary, are depressed, boring and dull people, suffering from fears and phobias, and having a difficult character.
You can determine these features by asking something like this question: "What 5 words most characterize my / my ...?" Then compare the answers you received with the way you see your ancestor. This will help you see some of your hereditary traits.

Step 4. Family relationships

Now look at how your family members treated each other. Find out what kind of relationship dad and mom had, grandfather and grandmother, great-grandfather and great-grandmother. What kind of relationship was in each pair, open or closed, trusting or judgmental, manipulative or communicative? How did each family deal with the crisis in the relationship, who dominated the couple? Sketch all this information on the genogram.

Step 5. Family system

It's also important to look at how the different parts of your system interact with each other. Are there any special family groupings? What family violations exist (divorce, betrayal, family enmity, etc.)? Are there any “problem” people in the family? It is important to understand how your family system works and interacts from generation to generation.
You can use colored pencils for specific parts of your family system.

6 step. Family values

Determine what experiences of family values ​​and beliefs have been passed on to you. This applies to any area of ​​life - raising children, communicating with adolescents, getting married, the number of children, vocation and destiny, the ability to cope with crises and losses, old age and meeting death. Pay attention to what you believe, knowingly or unknowingly. If beliefs are false, they can block your thinking, personal development, and your potential.

7 step. Family interaction

Finally, look at what your family looks like in relation to society. How does your family interact with society? How does society respond to your family? What difficult historical events befell your family and relatives (war, revolution, dispossession, repression, etc.)

Below are the symbols that are commonly used when composing a genogram. But you can always show your creativity: create archival cards for each family member, or use special computer programs, come up with your own designations, highlight in color, etc.

This guide will help you create a genogram without any specific skill or training. But if you want the process of drawing up a gennogram to become a healing one for you, then it is best to contact a specialist, or go through a special training "The Power of the Family", and participate in it online without leaving your home.

PS: After your genogram is ready, you can do a special practice by putting your finger on each circle or square, and saying something like this: “My dear grandfather, I am very grateful and grateful to you for the life that you gave me, your destiny was very difficult, but I agree with it. " It is very important to speak without thinking, but feeling with your heart, saying everything that lies in your soul. You can also practice bowing for each member of your family as a token of gratitude and agreement.

This is life - we repeat after the French, explaining our failures in different areas of life. But the reasons for the difficulties should be sought ... in family history. Family therapist Alexander Chernikov explains what a genogram is and how to use it to understand the zigzags of fate.

Each of us can draw our own family tree. The genogram is very similar to a schematic representation of the pedigree of one family, only in addition to the names and dates of life, it contains many other detailed information about family members, at least three generations. The family therapist records everyone's occupation and education. Also asks questions about the parental families of the spouses - are the parents alive, what are they doing, were they divorced, when they met and got married, are there brothers and sisters, what is the age difference, etc. Information about serious mental illness, diabetes is also recorded. , hypertension, alcoholism of relatives. In addition, the psychotherapist will definitely ask questions regarding recent events: birth, death, marriages and divorces, moving, changing the place of work of family members, so that these answers can be recorded on the genogram.

By the way, such a graphical recording allows another expert, not familiar with this family, to quickly read a large amount of information about it and get an idea of ​​its potential problems. By collecting and analyzing this data, you can find out, for example, what underlies the choice of spouses each other. Often, the hidden spring of mutual attraction is the unconscious comparison of a partner with the images of his parents, sisters / brothers and other important figures of our childhood. Studying the history of the family, one can only wonder how logical it is for spouses to choose each other, even if their marriage falls apart after a while. The experience of relationships with parents, their communication model, the order of birth in the family set a matrix of little-realized expectations from the future partner ...

So, in a way, the genogram is the key to further investigation of the difficulties that have arisen in the family, which the psychotherapist will have to unravel and work through together with its members.

Studying the genogram, I am trying to find out to what extent the problem that brought this family to me is related to family history: does it exist only here and now or is repeated in several generations.

This method was developed by the famous American psychologist Muray Bowen, one of the founders of systemic family psychotherapy. It is based on the assumption that families repeat themselves, in other words, what happens in one generation is often repeated in the next, and the same themes will be played from generation to generation. In other words, a certain model of family existence, which was formed, say, 50-70 years ago - at the level of grandparents - can somehow influence the families of their grandchildren.

There are several ways to analyze a genogram. A family psychotherapist will definitely ask a question about how many children there were in the parental family and what is the order of their birth. The fact is that people's behavior patterns are largely determined by whether they were older, middle, younger, or the only children. After all, each of these types has its own psychological profile. For example, in a marriage between spouses there is an acute problem of the struggle for power. If we analyze their genogram, it may turn out, say, that the husband and wife were the eldest children in parental families. And this means that this is precisely why they cannot now clearly divide responsibilities, the sphere of activity among themselves.

If we see that there are three brothers in this family, then the middle one has the hardest part - after all, there will be very strong competition between children of the same sex. But, if he is the middle brother, who has older and younger sisters, the situation is different. In this situation, the boy finds himself in a special position, he is surrounded by the attention of sisters and parents. It is also believed that more often than other children, middle children may develop an inferiority complex - the older child is more successful, and the mother is more involved in the younger. Thus, the middle is in a restrained position. On the other hand, he has more opportunities to develop his communication skills - he can be the elder for the younger and the younger for the older child. He also learns to find a common language with children of different ages. A striking example of the middle son is the President of the USSR Mikhail Gorbachev. And the eldest is the straightforward Boris Yeltsin, the ex-president of the Russian Federation.

By the way, it is believed that a marriage in which the position that each of the spouses occupied among their brothers and sisters is repeated will be more stable. Thus, a marriage between an older and younger child is considered complimentary. In other words, it is easier for such spouses to agree and adjust to each other, since they reproduce their experience of relationships with brothers and sisters in their family. They play complementary roles - the elder cares, the younger accepts his care. This bond is the stronger and more lasting, the more the relationship of both partners resembles their position in the families of their parents.

An uncomplementary marriage, as a rule, is concluded between partners with the same ordinal position in the parental family. All things being equal, they need more time and effort to agree and act in concert. As mentioned above, when two older children are married, they can struggle for power and compete in relationships with each other. Two juniors, on the contrary, can avoid any responsibility and compete, who is younger.

Another point that a psychotherapist must pay attention to when analyzing the genogram of a family is related to coincidences. We are talking about dates, for example, the parents divorced and the child has problems at school. Or the child suddenly has enuresis. The genogram showed that a year before that there was a replenishment in the family - a younger brother was born, which, probably, was the cause of this disease.

There are more complex systems of coincidences - the so-called anniversary syndrome. It is known that, for example, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams (the second and third presidents of the United States) died on the same day - July 4, 1926 - on the day of the 50th anniversary of American independence ...

This syndrome works in the same way in the family system. Let's say a father died at the age of 40 from a heart attack. On the eve of his fortieth birthday, the son is experiencing tremendous anxiety - he is afraid that he will die at the same age as his father, and for the same reason - because of heart problems. His fears have not subsided even despite the cardiac examination, which has confirmed that he has a healthy heart ... He may not even be aware of the cause of this cardioneurosis.

There are cases when people committed suicide on the anniversary of the death of their brothers or sisters.

Also, there are frequent coincidences associated with the birth of children. Say, if shortly before the birth of a child in this family, his older brother or sister died. Usually this coincidence has a strong effect on the child. After all, at the moment of his birth, his parents are still experiencing the loss of their elder, they simply do not have the strength, resources for the newborn, which, as a result, will replace the deceased for them. This topic, if it is present in the genogram, requires a separate discussion.

Senior, middle, junior ...

Our behavior is determined by whether we were older, middle, younger, or only children.

For older child the family is usually characterized by responsibility, conscientiousness, striving for achievements, ambition. He tends to take on some of the parenting responsibilities, taking care of the younger ones. The birth of the next child leads to the deprivation of his exclusive position in the possession of the mother's love and is often accompanied by jealousy of the rival. The emphasis on high achievement makes him more serious and less gambling than others. A common psychological problem in older children is the anxiety of not living up to the expectations of their parents.

Youngest child characterized by carelessness, optimism, willingness to accept someone else's patronage. His parents are less demanding about his achievements. He may have problems with self-discipline and difficulty making decisions. He knows that you will not achieve anything by force, therefore he achieves what he wants, demonstratively taking offense or trying to charm. The youngest child, who was well treated as a child, is usually easygoing and popular with friends.

Middle child may exhibit characteristics of both junior and intermediate, or a combination of both. However, often, if he is not the only girl or the only boy in the family, he is forced to fight to be noticed and get his role in the family system. Such children are deprived of the authority of the older children and the spontaneity of the younger ones.

If the family large , then the characteristics of middle children largely depend on when they were born: among the younger or among the older ones. They often know how to negotiate and get along with different people, as they were forced to learn to live in peace with their older and younger brothers and sisters, endowed with different characters.

Only child turns out to be both the oldest and the youngest in the family. As a result, such children have many of the characteristics of an older child, but can retain the childish qualities in themselves until adulthood. An only child inherits the characteristics of a parent of the same sex. Because parents tend to have high expectations for their only child. As an exclusive focus of attention, single children are often very closely attached to their parents throughout their lives. With fewer opportunities to play with other children, an only child can become like a small adult as early as childhood.

For twins parameters senior / junior also matter and appear depending on which group of children they were born in. If the parents emphasize that one of them was born earlier than the other, then the roles of senior / junior can be divided between them. Gemini scores the lowest on intelligence tests compared to children in a different birth order. Perhaps this is due to the fact that they function as a separate team and are less adult-oriented than others. In adulthood, they have difficulty separating.

Coincidences of life events

A family psychotherapist, drawing up a genogram, draws attention to all sorts of coincidences in family history. After all, they have a profound influence on how a family's life is built.

Coincidence of an important life event in the family with the onset of the development of a symptom in any of its members or with the stage of its exacerbation. A typical example of this coincidence is the age regression of a child after the birth of a younger brother or sister.

Anniversary Syndrome... Some coincidences can be understood as reactions to the anniversary of some important or traumatic event. For example, a depressed mood that occurs at the same time every year may coincide with the anniversary of the death of a parent or sibling, and the connection may not necessarily be conscious.

Grouping of important life events during the transition period between stages of the life cycle... For example, the collapse of a father's professional career as head of a laboratory in a design institute after the start of perestroika may superimpose the transition between adolescence and the separation phase of the child from the family, and especially exacerbate the relationship between father and son, who is trying to go his own way. The coincidence of a number of events with the birth of a child can make his position in the family special. For example, in the year of birth of the creator of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud, his father's father dies, a year later his brother is born and soon dies. A couple of years after his birth, the eldest sons of his father from another marriage immigrate to England. Sigmund became for the parents a substitute for all losses.