Left the family what's next. What men feel after leaving the family. Why is a man leaves family? Causes of a sad event. You ceased to be an interesting

Lovers often hear what they are beautiful, as far as they are better than wives, with whom men have to live, suffer and suffer every day. What, only now having met her, he realized that it was waiting for her all his life and now lives truly. But for some reason, despite all this, they do not leave the family, continuing to "sit on two chairs." Because of what representatives of strong sex, having mistresses, and so "suffering" from family life do not leave that for the reasons they are stopped from this step. Today we will touch the important question for many free women - why do men do not leave the family to mistresses? After reading this material, you, cute ladies, decide for yourself whether it is worth spending time per person who, most likely, will never leave his family and will not leave his wife to you.

Men suite everything

The reasons why men do not leave a lot of family, but, no matter how sad it sounds, the main reason is that they are very comfortable. With this reason, we will begin our conversation.

Many suits the situation when he is surrounded by the care and attention from the side of a suspect of his wife or who humbled with his betrayals for the sake of children, and the lover gives the emotions that he does not receive from the spouse. Why should it change something to risk, turn his mistress to his wife, which will definitely begin to demand, because a joint life and joint entertainment, often, are different things.

Maintaining life, responsibility for children and family, does not facilitate life, but complicates. It will not be possible to entertain, meet a man in underwear when children do not ask about work, do not ask for money, because you need to buy food, things, clothes, pay utility payments, pay for a circle. And if the child is small, - what romance, when it does not work normally sleep. And men understand this perfectly well that while the woman is in the status of a mistress, she is not concerned about the questions that lie on his wife's shoulders and mother of his children. As soon as she becomes his wife, she will ask the same questions and put forward the same requirements for him, because it does not work in a different way. That is life.

Do not go because of children

A frequent reason why men do not go out of the family are their children, even if they truly love another woman. They remain in the family for the sake of them, especially if a good relationship has been preserved with his wife. When there are children in the family, to hurt those whom I wanted, I was waiting for and for whom it took responsibility, terrible, especially at a time when they are still small and need to care and feel a safety, to live a full life, and not suffer later From internal problems. True, honest people are forgiven with his mistress, but most still continue with her relationships and further. Because there is no strength - to part, to whom it will want to let go who gives the joy, and the woman herself, who turned out in the role of mistress, dreams that when children grow up, he will be near. And she continues to continue to remain on the second roles.

Her love marks any doubts that they arise from her that it is wrong towards it, her life, which she spends in the eternal waiting for the one who does not leave the family for a valid reason, but also does not let her go. Unfortunately, without thinking that she also wants families and children, and over the years the chance to give birth to her rapidly decreases. But it seems to her that they have such love, which means, why not to sacrifice their capabilities and the desire to have a family for the sake of this "light" feeling for a married man.

When still leave the family?

Men who have matured and know how to take responsibility, will leave the family to the one who fell in love with all the heart and in the presence of children when they have long been strangers, they are constantly swearing, quarrel. They understand that children feel that there is something bad between mom and dad, see that they hate each other. It makes them much more harm than the care of the Father. Because because of this, they constantly feel fear, helplessness, horror. In such a situation, the sake of children is more correct or try to stop hating each other or disperse, since life failed.

When a man really understands that it is love, and without this woman, he feels unhappy, he will find the strength to leave the family, survive the feeling of guilt, arising from the fact that he has to hurt a wife with whom he lived so many years.

He understands what to do with someone who did not make it bad, it is very hard, unpleasant, ugly, but at the same time aware that if he does not do this, it means that there will be a pain whom he loved to suffer She, and he, as he comes against his feelings and desires. And it is unlikely to make it happy and will pass painlessly.

Men are often afraid of change

Many men do not go out of the family, continuing, to hurt close and mistress, which promises the "golden" mountains, as they are afraid. They do not want to risk, changing how it seems to them in the depths of the soul "sewed on soap." They believe that it will not be better and on the other. Let everything remain as it is, than some sharp changes, alimony, divorce, new concerns and responsibilities. Moreover, why should they strain, when women are ready to endure all this and pretend that nothing happens.

The wife may not guess that he changes her, but the lover knows exactly what he has a family, another woman with whom he sleeps, but does not believe that it somehow degrades her, deprives the chance of normal relations and t .P. And since it suits her, why should it leave and make some problems for himself.

Why do not go to the mistress?

Men do not leave the family because of habit

To change the "Comfort zone" established for many years is hard, and physically, and psychologically. It is the habits that make people abandon the time from the fulfillment of their desires, to work for many years at work, which they don't like it at all, but it is understandable, is familiar, not so scary, there is no need to teach something new, strain the brain, remember, rebuild. In the family, everything is clear, all habits are developed, like rituals, communication, even a list of claims that they prevent each other. And it will take, you have to start all. Banal laziness and fear do not give it to do.

Loveman is not a wife

Not all men see the mistress on the place of his wife. She is for him - a blow, the one who makes itching blood, but as the mother of his children, as a partner, a spouse, which can be submitted to friends, bosses or business partners, is not suitable for him. His beauty attracts her beauty, youth, the opportunity to try something new, psychological and physical satisfaction that it attracts other representatives of the beautiful sex. Only it does not play any role when it comes to get away from the family and make his wife's mistress.

Men do not want to change sequel on soap

They do not see the point in changing one woman, to another. After all, as soon as the mistress will change the status, it will also begin to demand assistance from him, fulfillment, scold, to make a claim for domestic issues, etc. Now he has the opportunity to relax from her, do not hear any requirements, but just come to relax, reset the tension and return home to concerns and difficulties. And this situation is quite suitable.

Lover as a lifestyle

The presence of a mistress for a man becomes the usual lifestyle, such a kind of triangle. And it is difficult to change the habits, so while he lives with his wife, he will try to preserve and his mistress, telling her another tearful story about his spiritual torments, commitments and "nobility", which he shows, without throwing his deadly sick wife, which feels quite perfectly And nothing needs. And it is unlikely that he thinks about changing something. The wife is silent, the mistress is waiting for him to learn extra problems when everyone is silent and all suits everyone. They would not be silent, then he would have to think what to do.

Favorable calculation

Also, a man may not leave the family if he holds the benefit that he received, marrying this woman. Common friends, memories, relatives, material benefits. You do not need to share the property, swear, listen, pay alimony, risk relationships with children.

Therefore, before you believe everything, saying a married man, think about whether you are ready to sit and wait for it when he decides to leave the family, instead of allowing himself to be happy, meeting the one who is free or will decide to become so you.

Love is great, but why doesn't he leave for you, since he fell in love, why only you sacrifice your years, time, heartful forces and health, remaining, on the second roles, and picking up the crumbs that he deigns you to give.

Think up if you were in such a situation, do you really unworthy? And so bad feel that they are ready to sacrifice their interests and desires for the one who does not do this? If you still love yourself, think what is better for you and do so that your life does not go in vain.

There are free men, so there is no point in sitting and wait, when he decides to leave, to be with the one he he loves so much. If he loves, will leave, and will not force to suffer and "feed" empty promises, but not - decide what to do next.

Not in all cases, male care from the family provoked by the presence of a woman on the side. Sometimes it happens only by the reason, and the reason lies deeper. There are situations that the man goes away, without having a mistress, he just tired of his wife.

According to the statements of psychologists, the husband does not throw a family suddenly - if he left, it means that there were too many problems in the relationship. Wrongs can provoke such a step from the side of a man, without conscious.

Of course, not in all cases, its care means that you are a bad wife or hostess. Not even the most beautiful and economic woman is insured. Causes can be in the other.

1. Loved another. The most offensive reason, because of which to return her husband in the family is very difficult.

2. Different glances, goals, interests. This is a very serious cause of care. Different views on life, on the relationship, for the upbringing of children, the family well-being is reduced.

3. A man is not ready for family difficulties. When children appear, romance and sex go to the background. There are more household and financial problems to which selfish or infantile men turn out to be not ready.

4. Wife without a break saw a spouse. Even the most patient husband can escape from constantly sawing his wife. In such a situation, it is not even necessary to wonder why men leave the family to his mistress - the answer is and so obvious.

5. Wife is a bad mistress. If a woman does not know how to cook, clean, care for me, husband and children, then you should not be surprised when the husband collects things and bleats the door. He can continue to love his spouse, but its shortcomings outweigh the merits, feelings gradually fade. Accelerate care can appear on the horizon of a caring, well-groomed and shopping woman who creates an atmosphere of comfort around him.

6. Sex. If you do not give your husband to satisfy the natural needs without any reason, it is logical that it will look for the release of sexual energy on the side and sooner or later leave the family to his mistress.

7. The principle of both. In some families there is a unhealthy situation, when the spouses are so fundamental and overwhelmed that they do not want to give up each other even in trifles. Such a marriage has no future - sooner or later one of the spouses will leave, most often they make men.

8. Eternal bachelor.From the point of view of psychology, such a person feels better when he is alone. For this reason, he is constantly looking for a suspension for parting - even after the wedding.

Whatever it was, but most of the wounded husbands return back. How to behave if you decided to forgive your husband?

How to make her husband go back to the family

1. Come on behalf, do not pursue the past, do not rush scenes and do not arrange scandals - such actions on your part only will push the partner.

2. Try to stay in good relationships, perhaps over time you get closer again, and my husband will understand how much he lost.

3. Work on yourself every day: Give yourself in order, slightly slow down (or just give the body into tone), repaint the hair to appear in a new image, sign up for culinary courses, if you do not know how to cook. Stop being a woman saw, if it was your problem, or be too principled. Let her husband, seeing you, will think that he made a mistake.

Do I need to return a man who gone?

When the spouse will understand that your parting was a mistake, he will try back. But after this, think - whether you need this return, especially if the betrayal of a man was due to its weakness, the desire to have fun on the side and a frivolous relation to marriage. A woman always has a chance to find a worthy chosen one who may have been prepared by fate.

Any of us cherished dreams of a strong family, so often the care of the spouse becomes not only a sudden, but also a frightening event.

Sometimes a woman itself closes his eyes on an approaching junction, sometimes she is really confident in the strength of family relations. Many are lost in the situation if the husband left the house: Tips for a psychologist will help build their behavior correctly, avoid hysterics and scandals.

No matter how the situation was decided whether the husband returns to the Lono of the family or leaves once a favorite wife forever - it is important for a woman to keep himself and survive the situation as calmer and more restrained.

How to behave after husband's care

After the care of a man should carefully analyze the causes of separation, even if he just decided to temporarily live separately. One can never climb the culprit of the care of the man himself: it is likely that the cause is the behavior of his wife, family troubles or treason.

What is the most important thing if the husband left home: the psychologist's advice are as follows - to maintain their own dignity and create an image of non-worn and in the eyes of the spouse. Be that as it may, he must remember his wife without asking or crying, but a sensible and understanding.

Council! Practicing psychologists recommend using the visualization method: write on a piece of probable causes of care depending on both partners.

Awareness of the mistakes made and identifying situations that could cause a conflict, one can consider half work on establishing if not a rebuilt family life, then, at least normal relationships with a gone husband.

It is important to start analyzing your family life without having sneaking, but after the first pain has passed, and it is possible to think sensitive. After all, in any break, there are always two to blame: shift the blame on the second participant, as well as to be guilty only itself, it is not necessary.

Sometimes women prefer not to think about what to do if the husband was left of the family, and just sail downstream. However, such a position is unpromising: to release the situation, not seeking to correct the deed - it means to sign in your own helplessness or recognize your guilt.

How to behave after parting right?

Often you can hear from the woman: "My husband threw me: how to survive it?" In such a situation, their feelings and experiences should be for a woman in the first place.

• Do not try to take revenge on my spouseBy changing him or finding a new man. This act will be an egoistic attempt by a capricious girl to attract attention.
• Do not try to persist to get a man. Put pressure on him, causing pity, blame and threaten it is not worthwhile - thereby women repel their husbands from themselves even further.
• Do not share your "grief" with all others, exposing a spouse in a bad light. Complained to her husband - an incorrect decision that will not give a positive result, but only provokes him discontent.
• Find for yourself inventory. Delivered into depressions or to engage the deficiencies in yourself is not worthwhile - all your strength should be sent to creation and improvement. A new passion, beloved work is those classes that will be happier, which means more successful and calmer.
• Keep in yourself the ability to love and be loved. The feelings for a former husband will remain clean and bright, even if they never be mutual. But it is very important to save good and mercy, the ability to forgive the cooling and allow love to connect the family again.

In the family with children in the case of man's care, it is important to keep the "neutrality". It is impossible to customize children against the past father, shift the guilt or manipulate them in an attempt to return the spouse to the family. Children should understand and feel the love of both parents, and their world should be durable, regardless of the relationship between parents.

Tip! Inevitable meetings with children - another option to try to establish relationships and give a leaning man to understand that he is still loved.

For strong women, there should be no questions "What to do if I threw a husband": a self-sufficient person with pride will take any blow of fate.

Survive and transfer the complex situation, make the right conclusions and stand on the path of creation and love - this is the true path of the real woman, wife and mother.

The family is simply so at one point does not fall apart. It does not happen in life so that "yesterday" everything was fine, lived-wondered, they got enough. And "Today" the husband gathered things and went into the unknown (or how often it happens in the famous) direction. And if a woman claims that this is exactly what everything happened, she is Lukavit (gently says), just not wanting to endure litter from the hut.

The man just never leaves. Before you decide on such a serious step, he mesculate everything and thinks over a thousand times. And if it still solves care, it means indeed everything "got out" and there are quite concrete reasonable reasons for this.

Woman lives more feelings than mind. It can not really pretend, and if she cooled to a man, and especially if someone appeared, she takes instantly the decision, as she got used to live, more listening to her heart, and not to the mind. Just at one point, she understands that he can no longer and, most importantly, does not want to spend his life on this person. He tired of her worse than bitter radish with his "Zakidoni" (drunken, gulyanki), and I don't want to no longer see him, do not hear.

The man's mind almost always dominates the feelings. It is very rare to hear that "he lost his head from love," basically such a phrase speaks about women. If a man decides to leave the family, then believe me - got it, it is impossible to endure more. A man is so arranged that he is quite satisfied to live a double life, having a wife and mistress, in such a triple union he can live until one of the parties rebels. And even then a man cannot decide immediately to break with one of the women. He will pull to the last. And if the wife is smart, she is patience, tact, exposure and caressing will solve the issue in their favor. But what forces (and moral and physical) will it cost?

So so that there were no such unpleasant situations in your life, you should initially do not make mistakes and behave correctly. To do this, you need to know the four main reasons that can provoke a man on leaving the family. The remaining reasons are secondary. In any case, the psychologists say so.

Cause No. 1. Loss of interest.

Here you have to always remember - the man's hunter came, saw, won. He has an instinct of the conqueror, he has a goal to conquer a woman and subordinate it to himself. But what happens after the woman literally "dissolves" in a man becomes a housewife? Understand, it is difficult to experience respect for a person who fully depends on you. With all that feelings fade, and the woman ceases to be a mystery, it is inevitable. She becomes boring, not interesting for him, since her life is limited to four walls, constantly "Surk Day".

Add here to still constant control and "pylezhka", continuous criticism and instructions in an ordinary tone: "Hands!", "Let's take a bucket!", "Go beyond the bread!", "Do not throw socks!". Teams as in the army. And when you command you, what do you want to do? At least escape.

What to do? Do not become the general in your own home or homely slave, even when you are forced to sit at home on maternity leave. Do not focus only on your homework, continue to develop, engage in your career, communicating with your work colleagues, develop in the intellectual plan. Follow yourself, go to the beauty salons, do not be a "real" housewife in a ribbon coat and with a couple of hair curlers on the head. This is a stereotype, but only in your will dispel this image of a rapid housewife.

Go out "in the light" without her husband, he should know that in addition to family life, there is also their personal life. He must see and understand that the wife is interested in people, especially to other men. Here a man-hunter, a male conqueror is turned on again. He must conquer you again.

Cause No. 2. The man lacks love.

Surprised? Please remember when you last our loved one about your love? When did you just sit, hugging, and spoke souls? When was the last time you were in a movie, in a cafe? Do something cute for your man. It is not difficult for you to do this, but it will be nice.

And did you say to your husband: "But Kati (Mani, Tanya) gave her a fur coat, and they go to the Emirates. That's what a well done. And you can not even buy boots. " After all, was it?

Never compare your husband with another man, never! This humiliates him as a man and kills his self-esteem. Such words, repeated several times can finally convince a man in your indifference and push in search of another woman who will appreciate, and take it as it really is.

Cause No. 3. The wife becomes Mom, and ceases to be a beloved woman.

There are two models of behavior in wives.

First: the role of mother-in-law. No wonder such a name, because the wife is worn with his adult husband as chicken with an egg. She communicates with him as with a small child, trying to please in everything, fencing him from any trouble. And God forbid, her "Chado" will offend someone! She will boost on his protection.

Second: the role of a strict mother of a teenager. From her darling look, nothing will slip out, scandalite for any reason, follows each step and requires a permanent report not only in money, but where he was, with whom, when you are at home, etc.

When you meet such pairs, you always feel pity for a man. Think, how did you manage to marry such Madame? Where would your eyes been yours before? Such relationships are more reminiscent of dog training (forgive men!). But if you can engage in the training of dogs and even need, then here the training of a man is useless and nothing will lead to anything good. If a man is weak, he will "join" and will tolerate this hell and a woman at some point bounced all this Moschera at some point. And if a man is strong, brutal, then it will get tired of him very quickly and he merges from such a cerberry, only heels will sparkle.

Cause No. 4. Scandals will bring you to the divorce.

Some women do not eat bread - let me ride. As a rule, the scandal begins with some trivia. Not getting no violent reaction in exchange, then the scandal goes on the growing and ends the storm. And she protrudes the director, screenwriter and the leading role. In fact, this is a storm in a glass of water. And the more such storms are in the house, the more likely it can be said that a man will not stand for a long time - he will leave.

Here you need to understand the psychology of a man. Men in nature do not like scandals (I'm talking about real men). This permanent "pilot" displays them from equilibrium. He wants to come to "his quiet harbor" so that there was a full calm, and not a storm in 12 points. To avoid scandals, a man will first come back home, lingering at work or with friends. This is the first bell. If you miss it past the ears, after some time he will not come home for the night, thinking something "smart." This is the second bell. If you miss it, then there will be no third call - it will collect things and leave.

What to do?

First, take yourself in hand, learn before screaming, count to ten. They say helps.

Secondly, learn to make compromises. If it is a notaded scandal, and a serious situation, listen to your soul mate and try to understand and hear what he says. If you think differently (and you have the right to it) - look for an output, compromise. But look for it together and not using the "tinted pharynx" when the membrane bursts from your scream.

Thirdly, learn how to praise your man, tell him pleasant words - the men love it, they painted it. When a woman believes in her man - he will turn the mountain.

Fourth, create such an atmosphere in the house so that he flew home on the wings of love, but did not want to leave the house.

Understand, finally, all the disadvantages are all, and you also have any more). And he has them, but also there is also advantages. So try to see the merits, not paying attention to small disadvantages. In the end, you loved it with these shortcomings. What happened then? What did you have to see some solid disadvantages?

Think ...

In conflict, two are always guilty. And if you try to shove everything on a man, it means that you do not see a log in your eye. Or maybe you still missed something somewhere? Maybe you should learn to forgive, be tolerant and do not rush to burn bridges? Maybe first should you try to change something in yourself?

When one of the spouses wants to stop marriage, you must first appreciate whether the family has a potential for the existence or relationship exhausted themselves. Of course, doing it is better with the help of a psychologist. After all, solutions to leave - not a momentous impulse, but a consequence of accumulated problems in marriage. Is it possible to solve these problems? Does couple have a desire to look for these solutions?

In what cases is worth keeping a family?

It seems to me that in the case when one of the partners there is no such desire and he firmly wants to leave, it is meaningless. It is easier to let go and work with the second partner on vacation and support in the new situation. After all, any end is always the beginning. New events, new meetings, new relationships.

If the potential of the family is, both are swearing, even fighting, but they want to preserve the relationship, it is necessary to deal with what led to a critical point. The woman is responsible for relations inside the family - for their emotional background, character, quality. A man is responsible for external communications, for relations with the outside world. Therefore, the role of a peacemaker to a woman has to take over. So, initiate a visit to a psychologist. But what else can be done to save the relationship?

Fotolia.

Tango always dance two

First, I sincerely advise all women not to use the word "divorce", as a means in family conflicts or as a way to test your value for a man. If you, with every quarrel, say "Intellite" or collect things and go to mom, you will lay a specific program in the male head "If it goes so easily from me, so I'm probably not much important to her and need it." It is not surprising that one day you can hear "divorce" or never wait when the husband comes to pick you up from mom.

Secondly, remember that the tango always dance two. Responsibility for problems in a pair lies on both participants. Of course, notice other people's mistakes easily, but what to say there, we just notice them. But how to notice your own?

Why does a man want to leave the family?

1. Rival. The presence of the third marriage is like a lactium paper available problems. And they answer them both spouses. But in this case, the woman also has to meet face to face with the betrayal of her husband. After all, feeling problems, he could solve them and in another way, not. I think this case, the only safe way to cope with the treason is to accept that it is a consequence of the problems that you both have launched, and not a sign that you are unwanted or dislike your husband. Do not take treason on your personal account, but to consider it ... as a web in the house - if it does not get used in it, then the house touches her. And again it is useful to know that the triangle is always splitting that the current state of affairs is always satisfied. If you come to find out the relationship of the husband's mistress, and not your husband means that the mistress wants to change. My husband does not intend to leave. No need to play mistress and start to kick out her husband.

2. The impact of significant close. It is no secret that many, especially young spouses, live with whose parents. Often and live on one territory is not necessary. Someone can be so tied to his mother, which discusses each micro nuance with it. And this mother, sincerely loving daughter or son, begins to give the best and wise advice or "to hurt", as we say, psychologists. Very soon it is found that three in family life participates three, only instead of a mistress, the mother of one of the spouses stands. Or dad. That of the spouses, who is alone (minority) is forced or to compete with such meaningful close or just wants to leave. You can save such a pair, it's often enough just to dispel, go into a removable apartment, a room, a hostel and then it turns out that the contradictions in relations are not so strong if someone third carefully does not pour oil into the fire.

Burda-Media.

3. Prioritization. Many women with heads go into motherhood, but forget to get out of it after the course of the nature of the three-year term. In this case, the family model looks like "Mom + Child," and dad dangles somewhere nearby, simply providing the functioning of this pair. How then does a man feel superfluous?

Part of women with heads are immersed in a career, and at home there is a husband, which at least sometimes you need to ask "how are you?" And, most importantly, hear the answer.

4. Sex manipulation. Someone as a tool influence on a man. Refuses sex, if in her opinion a man behaves "badly". So what is surprised if a man goes to a woman, for which sex is pleasure, not a blackmail method.

5. Loss of sexual interest. I love to go to the circus very much, I often watch moms with children. Young women, each second of which is overweight. Very extra - from 10 or more kilogram. Children on the form of 4, 5, or even 7 years. You can gain weight during pregnancy and feeding, but why can not get rid of it 7 years after childbirth? Does your husband like such a vague kilogram for 20 wife?

This is just a small part of the mistakes that we all make in a relationship. Try to find and fix your errors. Maybe it will spur partner to find and fix your?

Time Out - this is not a divorce yet

Sometimes men need a certain pause in relationships. No need to be afraid if a man wants to take a time out, says he wants to leave and live separately. Sometimes, the way out of the bustle of the daily routine allows you to understand what good and valuable is in a person, in your relationship with him. In a relaxed atmosphere, rethink that it was not so and what can be corrected. Time-out is not a divorce yet, you do not need to create a voltage of what is already so stretched to the limit.

Be that as it may, I believe that one more chance needs to give each other. If in our cynical and such a lazy-consumer world, two met and spent a lot of time and strength to create a couple to be with each other, often not because of something, but in spite, perhaps you need to attach a little more effort so that this Couple lived? Remember how you met this person and be loved by. Is it really not deserving the second attempt?

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