How to understand passionate. What is the main difference between love and passion? Passion & love

14.05.2019

This is a difficult question, since both of these feelings are not antagonistic to each other. Quite the opposite, they are often experienced at the same time. However, if passion, in most cases, is the constant companion of love, then love itself does not always go hand in hand with passion. Very often passion exists completely apart and independently, and has almost nothing to do with love. Then how to define love or passion for you?

The fact is that love is a deep enough feeling that not every person is able to experience. It is based on the need of people who love each other to take into account and respect the interests and desires of their other half.

Love suggests that lovers experience in relation to each other a special incomparable tenderness and a feeling of deep devotion. A truly loving person always tries to take into account the opinion and interests of a loved one or beloved. He is pleased to fulfill the desires of a loved one and bring him joy. Indeed, lovers put each other's happiness above everything else in the world. And they are pleased to even sacrifice their own interests or desires for the sake of a loved one.

Loving people are always able to come to a compromise, since love, first of all, presupposes deep mutual respect for partners. Therefore, true love is able to overcome many difficulties that inevitably arise on the path of a couple in love, and maintain their relationship for quite a long time, and in some cases throughout their lives.

How to understand passion or love?

Passion is the need of the human body to satisfy, first of all, its own desires and needs. Passion is to a greater extent a primitive animal instinct, which is based on an egoistic principle, aimed primarily at a person's own needs. In this case, the desires of the second partner are either not taken into account at all, or taken into account, but only to the extent that they coincide with the needs of the first.

A person who has only passion for a partner often feels irritation towards him if the interests of the other half are in some way at odds with his own. Passion, first of all, seeks to satisfy the physiological desires and needs of a person. And when they are satisfied, the object significantly loses its value in the eyes of the partner.

The basis of a passionate relationship is a person's selfish desire for possession, which, in most cases, excludes respect for the personality of a partner. Such relationships do not tend to develop, since their goals are rather primitive and easily achievable.

In addition, passion is rather short-lived, since its presence is determined by the effect on the human body of special substances - pheromones, the action of which is extremely short-lived. Therefore, passion passes quickly enough if it is not nourished by love.

However, both the one and the other feeling at the root lies that special attraction that inevitably arises in people belonging to the opposite sexes. In addition, passion and love have a great variety of semitones and shades, which makes these feelings quite difficult to distinguish from each other. The possibility of error in defining a particular feeling is very great, one has only to remember that love is possible only when partners truly respect and value each other, not only as physiological objects, but also as unique and inimitable personalities.

And if you are lucky enough to find out what true and mutual love is, then this feeling must be protected and tried to be preserved.

In the article you will learn:

Hello readers! Own passions, otherwise passions will take possession of you. An excellent phrase that reveals the whole essence of what is passion in a relationship ! I propose to talk about this and I will dispel a couple of myths.

She's like a drug

So what do we actually know about her? Most often we hear familiar stereotypes. For example, "there is no true love without passion." But what is really going on?

Psychologists claim that passion is actually an altered state of consciousness, characterized by the strongest arousal. It can be compared with the action of drugs and manifests itself in sexual attraction, physical attraction, or increased interest in any business, object.

Indeed, not a single discovery would have happened if it had not been for the unrestrained enthusiasm of a person for his occupation. And the human race would not have continued without the desire to continue it. So what's the catch then?

Little fire

The fact is that passion is selfish, and for a relationship it is destructive. She longs only for one thing - to possess, take and satisfy only her own interests. She is interested in a specific result. Namely, physical intimacy and sexual contact.

I recall a striking example of such a relationship in the film with Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke "9 and 1/2 weeks." Sensual, wildly emotional, passionately enjoying each other, the main characters. But what is under this veil of sensuality? Manipulation and desire to get more and more.

In life, of course, everything is more prosaic. Just lovers, just meetings, just partings. Loneliness, stress, failure in personal life push people to seek pleasure, deceptive happiness. Deceptive because physical attraction is often confused with feelings of love.

Passion & love

On this basis, love confessions are pronounced, marriages are made, children are born. But passion both quickly appears and suddenly passes. Therefore, it is so important to distinguish between true feelings and banal sexual interest. However, it is not difficult to understand that you are experiencing passion. You just need to see her signs:

A greedy interest in the human body, his manners, external manifestations.
You flirt and seduce more than heart-to-heart talk.
Increased jealousy, sometimes pathological, due to the desire to possess. Hence the strong fear of loss.
The demand for care, gifts, attention and unwillingness to share this with the object of a passionate relationship.
The desire to remain in fantasies, imagining the image of a person. Rather than learn more about his real character traits, values, way of thinking, etc.
In addition to sexual encounters and fun pastime, other joint activities are of little interest.

When love reigns in a couple, the dominant signs will be:

A sincere desire to get to know a person as much as possible, to experience various events with him.
The desire to be there in any situation.
The desire to give affection, warmth and care, without expecting something in return.
In sexual life, the desire to satisfy not only your interests, but also your partner.
The need to talk to each other on different topics.
Willingness to seek compromises, respect and understanding of a partner.
Joining the circle of friends and family.

Therefore, love if briefly , - deeper, wider, more sacrificial, kinder, it creates. Passion destroys and destroys, leads to inevitable separation, causing pain and suffering to those who experienced more serious feelings.

Roles in relationships

It turns out that these two feelings are opposed to each other? In my experience, relationships are more multifaceted, and conventionally I would divide them like this:

Is there a difference?

There is a myth that women are more passionate because they are more emotional. This is not entirely true. The point is that passion itself is more important to men. By virtue of psychophysiology, during a passionate love, a man produces hormones that greatly increase the effectiveness of his activities in any area. And the result for a man comes first.

Women, on the other hand, are distinguished by the fact that, due to their intuition and attentiveness, they catch changes in relationships when they cool down. And with the help of various techniques, they focus on the man and prolong this passion. That is, their passion is not characterized by intensity, but by duration and flexibility.

When is it time to end

If you are interested in a healthy relationship but intuitively feel trapped, then it's time to take control of your passion. Listen to yourself, are your experiences positive or negative?

If you feel that you are being treated inappropriately, you feel uncomfortable, it is psychologically difficult for you, then this connection does not bode well. Start by talking to your partner about your concerns. Listen to your inner voice after this conversation, what a sediment he left you, and make a decision.

If you are afraid to speak on pain of loss - most likely, this is a one-sided game. Don't let yourself be used. Contact a specialist if necessary.

All the best to you. June was with you!

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23-10-2012, 13:21

Description

- this is ardent devotion or ardent attachment to a person of the opposite sex, a love feeling, a strong focus of mind, emotions, feelings on a desired object or life goal; vigorous, intense, or agitated impulse tending to physical attraction. This word has many meanings and shades. Sexual passion is so connected with love that it is often called love. Erotic passion are burning coals under the heel of love.

Passion can exist without love, love can exist without passion... In the first case, there is no tenderness and feeling, there is only an egoistic desire for pleasure and satisfaction. In the second case, there is no warmth and ardor, which usually accompany full-blooded love between the sexes. Elementary biological urges in men, which we combine with the term "passion", have the technical term "estrus" (estrus in animals, spawning in fish). Man calls it sexual arousal, frenzy, even passion. Zoologists define estrus as "a special period of the female's sexual desire." The same is true for males. For most animal species, estrus, which occurs during ovulation, is the only time the female responds to the male. The emotional storm culminating in orgasm is a phenomenon that goes deep into the machinery of the body; here the endocrine glands and the entire autonomic nervous system are actively involved.

In animals, estrus is a periodic condition and occurs due to hormones secreted by the ovaries and the corresponding endocrine glands. Artificial estrus can be caused by injection of a glandular extract, but this does not lead to ovulation.

Our knowledge of the estrus phenomenon is very limited. One could say that the period of estrus (irresistible desire) in females depends on the secretion of the hormone "estrus" by the ovaries. But the functioning of this hormone is still unexplained. Why does it stand out in some periods and not in others? What interrupts the normal estrus rhythm at times? What is suppressing it? What external factors does it depend on?

Generally speaking, there is no estrus behavior among human beings. In a person, passion can be aroused almost at any time and by various influences. Or it is almost impossible to call it. And while in lower female mammals, sexual desire is limited to periods of estrus, in females it can be triggered in many ways at almost any time. With the help of many techniques and mental associations, you can activate the secretion of the hormone "estrus".

Sexual desire is a natural trait of normal adult men and women. It is as beautiful and innocent as breathing or heartbeat. In some cases, sexual activity does not wake up until the person actually begins sexual activity. Those who consider sex to be obscene are only deceiving themselves.

Observations show that passion can eliminate sexual perversion that took place before its onset. Strong emotions often stop corrupting incontinence in promiscuous sexual encounters. For the one who loves, there is only one beloved. For many, the cleansing power of a new feeling resolves all emotional problems. Those who seek to get rid of passion or reduce its manifestations are wrong. Weak sexual desire will lead to the cessation of any kind of living creatures.... Females prefer a passionate male to a passive and indifferent one. This can be attributed to most women who rarely prefer a partner that is not passionate enough. Passion certainly has to do with the biological value, health and integrity of the body.

In bees, butterflies and among other forms of life, when sexual attraction arises only once in life, especially in young animals, the highest manifestation of the sexual instinct, completely not practiced before that act of copulation, can be realized, presumably, only when intercourse is practically compulsory.

If there was no sexual instinct, humanity could not reproduce, there would be no procreation or raising children. The existence of instinct serves a wise purpose. Although sex drive seems to become less and less urgent as we climb the evolutionary ladder of life, excluding pathological cases; passion is never compulsory in a person, but it is always controlled. However, such an important biological need cannot be rejected, because it threatens retribution. It is one thing to expose passion to reasonable control, and quite another to deny it in all its manifestations.

Physiological differences between men and women suggest certain psychological differences between them. A man in most cases is more easily aroused sexually and strives for immediate gratification of his desire; a woman, as a rule, is not so easily aroused and less ready to immediately rush to gratify her sexual desire. Every day a man is aroused on various occasions thousands of times, although this activity is not felt in his mind and is manifested as sexual attraction only at the end of the working day, after returning home. Traveling often causes sexual arousal in the unaccustomed to travel; however, travel can have the opposite effect. Mental, emotional, physical and nutritional influences affect the sexual impulse, suppressing or arousing it.

The nature, level and extent of everyday life experience increase or decrease sexual desire. Frequency of sexual desire, its intensity is the result of certain factors, such as: health condition, illness, separation, stress, and so on. Usually, sexual desire is in direct proportion to the general condition of the body. There is a noticeable temporary increase in sexual desire when the husband and wife are separated for several days or weeks. Although in a society at least civilized, men tend to be more passionate than women, and much more easily excitable; it happens that a woman is as passionate as the average man, and sometimes even surpasses him. But women are usually more capable of suppressing passion than men.

A woman's body can be aroused against her wishes. A selfish man with a strong sex drive, skillful in his physical approaches, can make married life extremely miserable due to his inability to appreciate the emotional and mental needs of his wife. Coitus should be a sensory contact, not just a physical act.

A person has sexuality and must be its master, if he does not want her to be the master. It is known that sexual tension can be increased by appropriate fantasy or tactile arousal to such an extent that the irresistibility of sexual desire is felt as an uncompromising reality. With sufficient excitement-compulsion, it can really become irresistible, because, being involved in the storms of passion, it is difficult to overcome and control it. The one who thus arouses his sexual self and brings himself to a state of high tension that requires an outcome, often becomes a prisoner of his sexual passion, which seems to be out of control, and does not take into account that by his own previous actions he gave it all move.

Men are most often guilty of allowing passions to manifest without courtship; and even where an unbiased observer would consider a woman the main cause of unrest, sooner or later the man is still to blame. Perhaps the woman was innocently the dynamite that destroyed his self-control. Lovers and wives are often to blame for causing urgent desires in their lovers and husbands. refusing to satisfy them. They do this with a subtle, sophisticated erotic technique that allows women to achieve maximum prior pleasure without losing control of the situation. There are women who practice pleasant erotic arousal - caress and tenderness, but refuse to bring them to their natural climax. They are perverted, although they do not like to admit it.

Although, as many argue, sexual passion is the most irresistible, it is often restrained, it is hindered. Of all the passions, it is most difficult for her to give free normal expression. And we know that in moments of the highest sexual arousal, the power of a person's personal independence is almost completely lost. This moment of greatest satisfaction is comparable to intoxication. However, many men and women exaggerate the role of sexual pleasure in life and practice a true religion of pleasure. The thirst for pleasure is the cornerstone of their sense of self-esteem, and they grasp the possibility of any pleasure, no matter what the cost to their own and others' health. Such people tend to view the withdrawal of pleasure as a personal affront and demand the highest pleasure as if it were their sacred rights.

To justify unbridled sexual behavior that offends common sense and the social feelings of others, such pleasure seekers profess a belief in the superiority of instincts over other manifestations of human nature.

Belief in the irresistibility of sexual desire, requiring immediate gratification, is only a conscious camouflage for irresponsible and, therefore, immoral sexual acts.

A faint-hearted person, realizing his inability to solve some life problems, is often inclined to consider himself a victim of passion. His (or her) sex life seems to consist of a variety of casual relationships, either masturbation or both. Purely sexual union often lacks the feeling of love, it is an act of rapid (as in rape) possession, followed by aversion to the partner. Even possible sexual union with a partner who, with other types of communication - spiritual, psychological, intellectual - causes complete rejection. However, this does not prove the insurmountability of the feeling of passion, although it can be perceived as evidence of its non-specificity.

Perverted passions often out of control. Perversion can occur for a number of reasons that are difficult to get to the bottom of. In such cases, moral lectures are frustratingly ineffective because, as G. Lessing observed, "vicious passions pervert the constitution of the mind as much as they undermine the constitution of the body ... The evil forces lead the victims blindfolded to their altars." In such cases, hygienic practices are necessary.

The notion that sexual desire creates a fatal drama from every love affair, the participants of which are supposedly helpless puppets, balancing on a wire of irresistible passion, is contrary to the real state of affairs. However, this idea can have a noticeable impact on inexperienced youth if they accept it without criticism. This fundamentally false idea is dangerously cultivated by men and women who seek to justify their irresponsibility in their sexual behavior.

We are responsible for the manifestation of our passions and we should think carefully about the consequences before letting the passions run wild. Human responsibility does not end with the emergence of passion, on the contrary, it is at this moment that the need for responsibility is the highest. Not the one who is righteous who has not been subjected to the temptation, but the one who knows how to overcome this temptation.

The undesirable opportunity for a woman to become pregnant is a test of a man's responsibility in sexual relations. Only a selfish, pleasure-hungry partner will allow himself to ignore the consequences of intercourse at the moment of a sexual embrace. In these relationships, the responsibility of men is necessary, otherwise chaos is inevitable.

A person who controls his passions (but not the one who renounces them), restrains every impulse, curbs his energy and owns a fleeting desire, prepares himself for that terrible explosion of his emotions and passions, thanks to which he hopes to one day break free for the limits of oneself, beyond that which is accidental and decaying, to the full manifestation of one's powers in true union with the other.

No special efforts need to be made in order to suppress natural passion; it should simply be controlled in the best interests of the individual and society. The theological-dogmatic idea that sexual instincts and desires are evil and should be removed from human life is very harmful. An attempt to eliminate the flourishing of passion will lead to a decrease in the standard of living, which will end in organized prostitution. Full satisfaction of the feeling of passion is achieved only in the full and true union of the two. Efforts to banish natural desires will only lead to their return in the form of excessive obsessions, actions, and even perverse tendencies.

Love or passion? How to distinguish these two concepts and sort out your feelings for another person? You just need to listen to yourself and analyze the emotions that you are experiencing. Then you will definitely not be mistaken in your assessment.

What is love

According to psychologists, love has three components:

Intimacy is about closeness and, a sense of partnership. As the couple grows closer, the intimacy becomes stronger. True, in ordinary life it does not manifest itself in any way, but in a difficult crisis situation it is intimacy that is most pronounced.
Sexual attraction is most pronounced at the very beginning of a relationship, when people just get to know each other. In a long marriage, sexual attraction fades into the background.
Commitments only increase in importance over the years. Moreover, this is true both for long-term relationships and for short-term ones.

If all three components are present, love is ideal. All couples strive for it. Of course, you can achieve such an ideal relationship, but it is very difficult to maintain them for a long time. These feelings never last long. Of course, if one of the components disappears, the relationship will not end, it's just that ideal love is transformed into something else.

Signs of love

How do you recognize it? Just observe yourself and you will understand everything. A loving person all the time wants to see the object of his feelings, wants to be as close to him as possible. He has an irresistible desire to be around all the time. Lovers strive to look into the eyes of a loved one. Even if a lover makes a speech in front of a huge audience, subconsciously he will look for the eyes of his beloved in order to look into them and understand what he or she is feeling about what has been said.

A man in love seeks to show his beloved signs of attention, to do pleasant things for him. You can recognize someone who is in love by how willing they are to serve you. If a person is in love, he will readily fulfill your request, while an indifferent person will find a thousand reasons to get away from even the easiest task.

Over time, as the couple grows closer and gets to know each other better, more serious signs of love can be noticed. One of the first is closeness. Loving people do not wear a mask, they can sympathize and rejoice with their beloved. Experiencing lovers and jealousy, without it, too, nowhere. It is important that she does not become manic. The most important feeling in love is self-sacrifice. Perhaps a loving person does not shower you with daily signs of attention, gifts and compliments, but if he is ready to immediately rush to help at your call, be sure that his love is real.

What is passion

A keen desire to possess a person, often in spite of social norms and rules, is usually called passion. At the same time, passion itself becomes the meaning of a person's life. It is characteristic that a person only wants to possess the object of his passion physically, and this is not about tenderness and care.

To some extent, passion is one of the components of the feeling of love. It is included in the concept of sexual attraction. But on its own, without intimacy and commitment, passion destroys both people.

Signs of passion

The feeling of passion is entirely based on physical attraction and desire for possession. At the same time, a person does not think about the real state of affairs. In his imagination, the object of worship is a person without flaws. This explains the fact that the feeling of passion very quickly passes as soon as a person begins to realize that his partner is very far from the ideal drawn in the imagination.

Let's list the main signs of passion:

A person is only interested in the appearance of a partner.
Conversations on any topic do not attract, only sex interests.
A person is not inclined to talk about his real feelings, all his thoughts are focused on his own fantasies.
Immediately after sex, a person strives to leave, and not spend some time together.
Your union is more like a relationship of lovers, rather than friends.

Passion and love: how to tell

First, decide how you or your partner will position yourself in your relationship. Love is characterized by a desire to give pleasure to a partner. If a person experiences only passion, he is concentrated only on his desires. Passion is based only on physical attraction and disappears very quickly. This is not about mutual understanding, kinship of souls and mutual respect.

Passion is characterized by strong emotions; a person in this state cannot think about anything other than the object of his worship. Love is a more meaningful and calm feeling. Love is characterized by an interest in a person's personality, and not just in his appearance. Passion lives one day. A person subject to passion does not think about long-term relationships and their development. He is ready to actively seek the object of his desire, in spite of all the circumstances.

A loving person can experience pleasure even from simple communication and talking on the phone. For passion, the most important thing is the satisfaction of sexual needs.

Passion is the strongest feeling that arises at the level of instincts. This is a powerful passion and desire to completely possess another person. Physical attraction arises on a subconscious level and cannot be controlled. Sooner or later, at some point in life, everyone is faced with a similar feeling, but many confuse the concepts of "passion" and "love" with each other, especially when they are in adolescence. This happens because a person in both cases is irresistibly attracted to another.

How love is different from passion

In adulthood, a person usually already knows how to distinguish between love and passion. People understand that love is not only a candy-bouquet period and endless happiness, it is also a huge work on oneself and on relationships. Passion is more irresponsible and frivolous.

There is a huge difference between these feelings. Love is the spiritual closeness of two people, while passion is the desire to possess a person completely. Selfish feeling. However, without him, normal and harmonious relationships in a couple, most likely, will not work. Physical attraction is the basis on which relationships begin to be built and true love subsequently arises. If the relationship is based only on passion, in such a situation people do not listen to each other's desires, and everyone wants to satisfy only their own needs. Passion, unlike love, is fleeting. It can disappear as quickly as it appeared. When a person achieves the object of passion, his desire fades away. But there are often cases when physical attraction was reborn into true love.

Psychologists compare passion to drugs.

For love, the desire to make the other half happy, even to the detriment of oneself, is more characteristic. Experiencing sexual interest at the level of instinct, a person is focused only on satisfying his own needs. During passion, strong emotions prevail, and all thoughts rush to the object of adoration. Love, on the contrary, is a meaningful and calm feeling, when the happiness of another becomes much more important than your own. Interest is shown in the personality, and the appearance does not really matter.

How love is different from falling in love

Signs of feelings

On the basis of love and physical attraction, long-term relationships arise that end in the creation of a family. In order not to make a serious mistake in his life, a person must be able to distinguish between these feelings. If you marry for, then the union will not bring happiness to any of the partners. When the sexual interest fades, the bond between the spouses will be cut off.

Signs of passion:

insane interest in the body of another person;
relationships are based on flirting, not heart-to-heart conversations;
there is a pathological feeling of jealousy and fear of loss;
the object of passion is endowed with non-existent qualities, there is an unwillingness to look at it with a sober look;
requires increased attention to your person;
spending time together is reduced to sexual contacts and fun;
the union is more like a relationship of lovers than friends.

To recognize love and passion, you need to listen to your own feelings and analyze your feelings.

Love is expressed in the following signs:

the desire to get to know a person better;
striving to be near "both in sorrow and in joy";
the desire to surround a partner with affection, care and warmth, without requiring the same attitude in return;
communication needs on any topic;
striving for understanding and respect for the partner;
willingness to compromise;
the desire to fulfill any request of a loved one;
in bed in the first place is the satisfaction of the interests of the partner.

Love is a deep and creative feeling. Passion destroys and destroys, when a relationship breaks up, it always hurts one of the partners. Someone who had more serious feelings. It's unavoidable.

Stages of relationship between partners

Stages of a relationship based on love and sexual interest:

1. Passionate relationship. The period of falling in love is exactly the moment when a person sees the object of his adoration through "rose-colored glasses" and endows it with non-existent qualities. Communication at this level does not take place with a real person, but with an invented phantom who is cared for, cherished and protected. After one or two years, "rose-colored glasses" fall off, and the former lover experiences a feeling of great disappointment.
2. True love with elements of passion. In this case, the priorities are set properly. Love is at the head and controls sensuality. This is the perfect union of a man and a woman.
3. Love. This relationship is not suitable for all couples. They are designed for people with a certain type of character and personality. A kind of quiet haven with eternal calm. The union can get bored with one of the partners, and the person will go to look for the missing emotions on the side. But if a couple is comfortable with this relationship and they feel happy, their relationship will last for a long period of time.

It is by nature that women are more emotional. However, passion is most important to men. During a passionate love, they produce hormones that several times increase their effectiveness in any area of life.

Women, by virtue of developed intuition, tend to catch even minor changes in relationships and feel when cooling begins between partners. If she responds to the changes in time and, using various techniques, tries to return passion to the relationship, most likely she will be able to maintain the union. A woman's passion for a man lasts longer. She is easier to keep, she can live with love. When she is at the stage of falling in love, she is ready to move mountains for the sake of her chosen one.

In order for a man's passion for a woman not to fade away, it is necessary to constantly work on relationships and add variety to intimate life.

Men enjoy experimenting in bed and will appreciate passionate sex. After all, this is exactly what holds the relationship together and does not allow physical attraction to go out.