Natalia Kaptsova

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Each cell of society - a young family - dreams of its own square meters in order to live separately from relatives, to feel like a master and mistress in their own house.

But sometimes circumstances develop in such a way that newlyweds have to live with their parents , and at the same time, each family member needs to make an effort to maintain a warm, soulful atmosphere in the house.

How to achieve maximum comfort in this situation - read below.

A young family lives with parents - the pros and cons of living with parents

• If a young family does not have the means to buy or rent a house, then living together with parents will help save up enough money for the purchase of their living space. Read also:
• Positive family experiences of the older generation, built on trust, mutual respect and understanding, will help a young couple build relationships on the same principles.
• When two families live under the same roof, household issues are much easier to solve... For example, while the daughter-in-law is at work, the mother-in-law can cook dinner for the whole family, and after dinner, the daughter-in-law can easily wash the dishes. Or the son-in-law on the day off will help to dig up potatoes for the father-in-law in the country, which is intended for the whole family.
• Intimate conversations between parents and children help strengthen intergenerational relationships... By the way, from such conversations you can learn a lot about your soulmate, which will help to reveal your chosen one from all sides.

All these points can be attributed to pluses. But, as you know, each coin has two sides. So in the joint residence of a young family with parents there is negative sides :

• After the wedding, at the initial stage of cohabitation, the young people begin the period of rubbing in and getting used to each other ... This process is very difficult for both spouses. Added to this is the need to form friendly relations with parents. Not every young family will be able to withstand such a double burden.
• Emerging conflicts with parents at the household level (the daughter-in-law put the plate in the wrong place, the son-in-law refused to go fishing with his father-in-law in his free time, etc.) do not contribute to the strengthening of the young family, but on the contrary, they add quarrels to the relationship between the young spouses. Read also:
• It is very difficult for parents to resist giving advice. , to impose your opinion on a young family. They just need to be advised how to raise their children, solve household issues and spend the family budget. Psychologists say that it is for this reason that young families most often break up.
• By the way, if one of the spouses wants to live with their parents, motivating this "so as not to offend them" - this is an alarming signal that speaks of partner's inability to live independently , as well as personally make decisions and be responsible for them. He is dependent on his parents, and if you accept the situation, you will have to live by their rules. Read also:

Living with the parents of a husband or wife: the most common causes of conflicts between a young family and parents

I remember a monologue from a famous film: “I really respect your parents. But, thank God, I'm not an orphan. Why do I have to constantly adjust to your parents? If I do something, it is examined under a microscope. It's such tension! "

Every family has its own rules and traditions... The spouse who will live with other people's parents will always feel “out of place”.

• Most often, conflicts break out on domestic grounds , for example: the daughter-in-law splashes in the bathroom for a long time or cooked borscht differently than her mother-in-law. And the son-in-law, instead of going to the market, as his father-in-law usually does, sleeps until 10 in the morning. The constant moralizing of parents causes negative emotions, which then pour out either on the parents or on each other.
• Another common cause of conflict is the topic of parenting. ... Grandparents, who are accustomed to raising a child in the old-fashioned way, impose this system on young parents who, perhaps, would like to raise their baby according to modern methods.
• Financial claims arise sooner or later. Parents who pay utility bills in full, buy household appliances for their home (washing machine, microwave oven, stove) and other items used by everyone, in the end, they get tired of it, reproaches and misunderstandings will begin.

How to live with your parents and maintain a great relationship - ways out of difficult situations

If a young family lives with their parents, then they must remember that the owners of the living space where they live are the parents, and their opinion will have to be reckoned with.

• To make life together for everyone as comfortable as possible (as much as possible), everyone needs to communicate be polite, do not raise your voice, try to understand the interlocutor .
• Parents need to try to be patient. , do not impose your opinion, if you give advice, then in a delicate manner.
• Everyone should help each other in difficult times. , support, encouragement if a young family or parents have problems.
• Desirable, more before living together with parents, draw clear boundaries y: discuss questions about paying for utilities, raising children, etc.

Living with the parents of a wife or husband can even be very comfortable, calm and convenient, if there is no too close connection between parents and their child... And if mommy still does not dare to give her child, to some kind of "idiot" or "armless daughter-in-law", then it is better make every effort to quickly live separately.

Family and relationships: advice from psychologist Olga Yurkovskaya

Grown up children should leave their parents' home. Otherwise, they will never become real adults, remaining hostages of “intra-family moral incest,” when the social roles of husbands and wives, fathers and children are confused.

However, many families, due to lack of money or independence, live in the same house, and sometimes even in the same room with their parents. This creates a painful relationship that often has two extremes.

An example of the first extreme is my friend's mother-in-law, who even at fifty asked her mother how to make sandwiches. The square-eyed daughter-in-law listened to their conversation. A woman of almost retirement age runs to her mother with the question of how to make sandwiches! No, not a joke, I asked in all seriousness. Moreover, having the opportunity to live with her husband and the child separately, the acquaintance chose to change two separate apartments, her two-room apartment and the one-room apartment of her not yet old mother, for a common three rubles, in order to live with her mother.

But her own sister, on the contrary, showed the complete opposite, and this is the second extreme in a relationship. At the age of seventeen, she fled to another republic, just to get away from her mother with her authoritarian claims. And when the mother asked to live with her freedom-loving daughter during the major renovation, she categorically refused. Absolutely no! Complete denial of any connection.

Unfortunately, there are less than half of families in which generations live separately from each other in the post-Soviet space. Mostly young spouses continue to live with their parents. This was once the norm. But once upon a time, daughter-in-law was also the norm! Do we now consider it normal to have sex between a father-in-law and a daughter-in-law? No, but we continue to consider the life of several generations of a family in one apartment as the norm.

In Soviet times, "in cramped quarters, but not offended", when there was no sex, and everyone was united by peace, labor and May, they could huddle in a "khrushchob". But this housing was built as temporary, to replace the barracks. It was not in the plans that in dank five-story buildings with a combined bathroom they would live for generations, giving birth to children and crowding each other.

It is living together in a cramped room that leads to the fact that relatives change roles in the family, do not feel their boundaries, confusion occurs - who is raising whom and who is financially responsible for whom. And in fact, such cohabitation, as in tsarist times, can be considered incest. Let not physical, which was the dream-in-law, but moral for sure.

Because when a young spouse moves to the wife's parents, they adopt him. It turns out that the brother sleeps with his sister, who have the same parents for two. And both spouses play two roles - in fact, husband and wife and children for their adult parents. And if children are added to this? It turns out to be a madhouse! The child does not understand whose authority is stronger, grandmothers or mothers, one said it is impossible, the other permits, the child rushes between one generation and another, knowing that he will get everything he wants, the main thing is to know who to turn to.

In the meantime, grandparents are turning into a second pair of parents - to replace the fleeing mom and dad. And parents, in front of the child's eyes, receive scolding from the elders, losing all respect in the eyes of the younger generation. What will all this lead to in the end? For three generations of infantile, dependent on each other people who do not know how to build personal boundaries and take responsibility for their lives.

Therefore, if you are an adult, and even more so, want to have your own children or are already raising them, separate from your parents. And live separately, and leave your parents alone. Let them live their lives as they can. There is no need to retrain or reeducate them. No need to put pressure on them or drag them to you. Take care of yourself.

But the main thing is to take care of yourself at a distance from the older generation, in your home. Otherwise, you will never really grow up and will not be able to raise independent children. It is impossible for an adult son or daughter to live peacefully under the same roof with his parents and be an adult, live his own mind and act contrary to the opinion of the older generation - this is simply impossible! Either constant scandals await you, or you will have to obey mom and dad in everything, give up the rights of an adult. What for? Renting an apartment is much cheaper than your freedom.

Living together with parents does not allow children to show their independence. Based on the housing moment, the parents, not the children, are the owners of the house. Therefore, all everyday problems are solved by mom or dad.

In most cases, the opinion of children living together is not taken into account. Parents do not consider it necessary to consult with their children about resolving issues related to the maintenance of the house, food, etc. As a result, children get used to the fact that their parents decide everything for them and do not make attempts to resolve the issues that arise.

Living with their parents, children do not make attempts to acquire their own housing. They are happy with everything, they are comfortable. Having given birth to their own children, they will not be able to instill in them independence in their actions, they will not be able to set a positive example for them. They will also live off their parents.

The son, living with his parents and already having his own family, does not strive to become a full-fledged master of the house. In everyday life, such a husband is completely unadapted to economic issues. In the event of the loss of his father, he will undergo a complex process of adaptation to independent life in adulthood. If he fails to adapt, he may lose his family, since he will not fully provide for it.

Conflicts

When two or more generations live together, relationship problems invariably arise. The older generation thinks that they know life better and by this right they are trying to manage the lives of their children. Children, on the other hand, want to live their own lives, so they protest against excessive parental care. Against this background, conflict situations arise.

If there are several women in a large family, problems may arise with the division of the territory of an apartment or house. Every woman wants to be a mistress, to decide for herself what and when to cook, what and when to do. Only the manifestation of the wisdom of older women will help to properly distribute responsibilities around the house. Living separately from her parents, a woman quickly adapts to family life. In addition, it gives her a sense of confidence in her position as a housewife.

When raising children in a multi-generational family, there may be problems in parenting methods. It is difficult to reduce the requirements of all family members to one system. Children, to whom different requirements are imposed from adults, become opportunists in communication and do not have a specific line of behavior.

Advice 2: How to get along with parents in the same apartment for a young family

Ideally, each family should have their own home. Only now, not everyone has the opportunity to move to their own cozy apartment after the wedding. And in order not to postpone the wedding until retirement, you have to live in the parental territory for some time. It is possible to establish good relations with parents and not turn into heroes of jokes about mother-in-law and son-in-law. You just need to remember to follow a few simple rules.

Instructions

Discuss all the conditions of your cohabitation before moving. Parents have their own well-established habits and traditions. They can wake up at six in the morning and turn on the TV loudly, have five cats, or invite guests every Saturday. Whether you like it or not, you will have to adapt, because the way of life developed over the years is not so easy to change. And is it worth it? As you know, one does not come to a strange monastery with one's own charter.

Discuss the financial side of the issue. You have to pay for utilities, buy groceries and make cosmetic repairs periodically. Even if you have a very modest income, allocate from the budget the amount that you can spend on living in your parent's apartment. Thus, you will help your parents, and you yourself will not feel like freeloaders.

Let your parents know when you intend to move out of their apartment. Even if your plans include graduating from college, looking for a job and several years of increased savings for the first mortgage payment, share your plans with your parents. They need to know that you think about your future and are not going to live with them forever.

Discuss any problems as they arise. The more you keep silent about them, the sooner there will be an explosion of emotions. Why do you need quarrels and domestic wars? Parents also want to live in peace and harmony. In 9 cases out of 10, they will agree to discuss the problem with you and find a solution that suits everyone.

Try to spend as much time as possible outside the home. On vacation, be sure to go to another city or abroad, get out into nature on weekends, meet with friends in the evenings. So you will be charged with positive energy, take a break from the accumulated claims and give your parents the opportunity to be alone in your home.

Learn to treat other people's words and actions without irritation. If someone did not appreciate your dinner, forgot to close the toilet lid, or walked across the clean floor in dirty shoes - this is unpleasant, but not fatal, and certainly not worth your nerves, tears and resentments.

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The decision to give birth and raise a child is a very serious and responsible step for a couple of any age. In developed countries, there is an amazing trend: despite government support in the form of social programs, benefits for education and assistance in purchasing their own homes for families with children, “young” parents are getting older, and many even abandon the happiness of motherhood and fatherhood.

Cons of having a baby from young parents

The most common reason for the widespread negative attitude towards early parenthood and motherhood is that recent school graduates understand little about life, and therefore are not ready to take a responsible and intelligent approach to raising a child. It’s not even that they didn’t walk up, and such marriages often break up after several years of “playing as adults” - the reason is youthful maximalism, inability to build long-term relationships, lack of their own life position and experience.

Another disadvantage of early childbirth is financial insolvency. Pregnancy and maternity leave immediately after school or college deprive the family of a solid part of the total budget. A young father, who, as a rule, does not work in the highest paid position, will not always be able to give the child and his mother everything they need. Therefore, such families often depend on relatives.

In addition, at a time when all free or childless friends and girlfriends gain financial independence from their parents, start regularly updating their gadgets, and vacationing abroad, which they like, a young family is forced to change priorities in their own spending and save. This happens until the woman goes to work, and later a solid share of the earnings goes to the child, and not to entertainment.

With regard to employment, this is also a separate disadvantage. If a young mother did not work before the birth of the baby, she may have problems, since all employers are sure: a small child means eternal sick leave and time off. Of course, no one can refuse for this reason, but there is a possibility that after the interview they will give preference to a childless candidate.

A young married couple, as a rule, their own parents are not old, that is, they are not retirees who can fully devote themselves to the child, thereby providing the opportunity to work and relax for the newly-made mom and dad. However, this circumstance can be considered as a plus, because in this case they can always help.

Pros of having a child in a young family

As for the advantages of motherhood and fatherhood at a young age, there are quite a few of them, as it might seem at first glance. One of the most important positive aspects is that young couples are not too "confused", so much is easier for them. If she is a 35-year-old woman, she thoroughly studies all the problems associated with pregnancy, early baby development, medications, diseases, kindergartens, toy manufacturers and others. Such parents should have everything under control, so the head is full of information, which in some cases is superfluous. But for young people, a lot goes by itself, because at this age you look at life differently. By the way, with regard to heavy sleepless nights in the first year of a child's life, young parents remember this less often, since the majority of the requirements for regime and comfort under 25 are not too strict.

Also, an important advantage of having a child in a young family is the health of the parents. In conditions of poor ecology and the presence of long-term bad habits by the age of thirty, people may have acquired diseases that will affect the baby. In addition, the risk of pathology and development of congenital fetal anomalies is much higher if the expectant mother is over 35 years old.

Families with early children are also happy because a full-fledged life for parents begins when many have the first difficulties associated with having children. For example, a baby appears in a 20-year-old woman and a man. At first, they are actively helped by young and energetic relatives, but then the child grows up, their own mothers and fathers retire, and the career of the young is moving up. After 30 years, travel begins - separate and together with the child, there is still a lot of energy to find a hobby or take up extreme sports. But those who pulled with, during this period, there is a real withdrawal. Until recently, there was everything - career, nightlife, travel, money, freedom - but now it all comes down to a screaming baby and his needs. It is in older mothers that postpartum depressions are longer and deeper.

It is sometimes said that at an early age, future parents completely lack the instinct of motherhood or fatherhood, as if they themselves need care. This is a very controversial argument, but it is true that it is easier for children to find a common language with a young mom and dad. It is enough to think about the fact that if a child was born to a couple at the age of 35, then they will most likely be able to walk in their own child only after the 60th birthday, or even later. And this despite the fact that the average life of a man in Russia is 59 years! That is, there is a high probability that the child will get up on his feet after graduation without any parental support at all.

In our time, it is not so easy for a young family to acquire their own housing. Many couples rent quite expensive housing, and they have to save up for their own apartment not only for years, but for decades. For those who do not want to spend extra money and prefer to live for their own pleasure, there is only one way out - to live with their parents. This option is fraught with both positive and negative sides.

1. The attitudes and habits of relatives. Each family has its own rules of conduct. For example, someone is used to closing the door to a room, but for someone it may seem ignorant. The purchase of household appliances can also cause complaints from the older generation, because a toaster or a juicer will seem to them an excess and a whim.

2. Material question. This point is the most important when living together. You should talk right away about who will pay the bills or buy groceries, and who will clean the house or cook. Unresolved problems can escalate into serious conflicts.

3. Advice from parents. Invaluable advice from a mother-in-law or mother-in-law is often useful, but sometimes it turns into endless moralizing. Even psychologists confirm that the intervention will not benefit a young family, even if it comes from very wise people.

4. Leisure of a young family. Many couples, after moving to their parents, feel that parties on their territory are no longer possible. There is also something to discuss here: is it possible to invite friends to your place and at what time meetings with them should end, are card games or music permissible. It is worth remembering that communication with friends and other couples only strengthens relationships in a young family.

5. Pregnant women and young mothers with children. There are undoubtedly advantages in such a situation: help with the child and housekeeping. However, not all parents can be so caring and understanding, and communication with them will only add even more reasons for stress.

Psychologists agree that living together under the same roof with relatives negatively affects the formation of a young couple. If there are still no other options, then it should be borne in mind that any family is a separate territory with its own rules, foundations and traditions. So you should definitely be patient and have the strength to adapt to the new environment.

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Tip 5: Should a mother continue to live the life of an adult

The mother carries the baby for nine months under her heart, and then all her life ─ in her heart. When the baby is born, the mother ceases to belong completely to herself and lives his life. How long the mother will continue to live only this life, she decides for herself. A lot depends on this decision.

When a child is born, the mother's existence is tied to meeting the needs of the child. Over time, she is so drawn into this role that she ceases to consider herself or his independent creatures. This happens subconsciously.

When the child grows up

Children are children as long as their parents are alive. After all, no matter how old a person is, parents will love him and worry about him. But sometimes such love is harmful.

The child was born, postpartum depression has passed, and now a lovely young mother is completely and completely devoted to the baby. And this is her main mistake.

Living only for a child, a woman does not notice that her beloved and adored child needs more and more independence. The child grows up, often not noticeable to the mother, turning into an adult and completely independent person.
And here conflicts often begin. Already an adult begins to live not the way his parent wants. Such mothers find it extremely difficult to endure the fact that their children are creating their own family. They cannot accept the fact that children do things their own way.

Children grow up and do not need mothers the way they did in childhood. But the mother, whose child was her life, remains in a kind of vacuum, takes offense at adult children. It seems to her that they no longer need her.

In fact, this is not the case. Needed, but not as much as before. And that's okay. Indian wisdom says that a child in our house is a guest who should be fed, watered, clothed and then released. The latter must not be forgotten. Our children never belong to us.

How not to get what you deserve

Very often, overprotecting her beloved child, the mother bitterly regrets that the child has grown, but behaves like a little one. He is not at all independent, there is no sense from him. And already an old and almost helpless mother has to raise and take care of a forty, or even fifty-year-old "child", complaining that he never got enough sense.

But, they are exclusively to blame. Who has not given the child the opportunity to learn from their mistakes, make choices and be responsible for their consequences? Of course, a diligently protective mother. As a rule, such children are not ungrateful, they simply live by a model of behavior imposed on them.

Whether the mother lives the life of adult children or not is up to the mother herself. If she feels and knows that her children need it, she cannot do otherwise. Parental duty is to get your child back on his feet. And it doesn't matter how old he was at the same time.

The pros of living with parents

1. An excellent opportunity to get on your feet in the first year of marriage. At this time, funds are needed for food, clothing, and the first joint purchases. These expenses account for most of the salary. Living with parents will help a young family save money, and all expenses for food and utilities can be divided equally.

2. Help. For example, if you are late at work, then your mother-in-law or mother-in-law can clean up the house, pick up the child from the kindergarten, and cook dinner. Living together with your parents will help make life easier, since responsibilities can be distributed among themselves.

3. Support and family cohesion. It is possible to find a common language with family members; it is always pleasant to live in perfect harmony. Show respect and tolerance for each other.

Negative aspects of living with parents

1. Someone from the new family members, be it a husband or wife, will join the new family, so he will have to get along with the new foundations - this can cause psychological discomfort.

2. An important factor is not only the relationship between newly married spouses, but also the relationship between the parents of the couple. If they quarrel and swear all the time, this may affect the communication of young people with each other.

3. When children appear, misunderstandings may arise. Differences in outlook and constant criticism from parents can undermine good relationships.

4. You quickly get used to good things. Living with your parents can lead to a loss of interest in financial independence. This can lead to further stupor, since the ability to plan a family budget, manage finances does not develop.

5. If young people like to receive guests at home, throw parties, then this may not be to the liking of parents. There can also be constant supervision by adults, which can also be stressful.

Each family decides for itself: to live with their parents or rent, or buy their own housing. Most experts recommend leading an independent lifestyle immediately or after a certain period of time. Of course, keeping in touch with parents is extremely important, but young people must learn to live on their own, so it is still recommended to choose a separate lifestyle than live with their parents.

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Hello.
My name is Elena. My problem is not original. I have been married for 5 years, I have a 4-year-old son, but I continue to live with my parents. Yes, this problem is not new. There are no funds to buy my own home, and I do not even dream that such an opportunity will ever appear. It became impossible to live with my parents. I constantly listen to discontent and comments in my address. Unreasonable remarks! I perfectly understand that we have bothered our parents for 5 years. I have a huge grudge against them! I am the only daughter, I do my best to please my parents: buying new household appliances, repairing, paying for utilities, buying groceries - I consider all this my duty. But complaints are made about everything: I turn on the shower in the bathroom in a wrong way, I cook in a wrong way, I do not clean the stove that way, I put food in the refrigerator on the wrong shelf. And my husband…. Any of his actions are discussed in a stormy flurry of discontent! And all this mother expresses exclusively to me! More often than not, I try to restrain myself and not lead to conflicts, but sometimes this is unbearable and I am frustrated! But the result is the same - I am an ungrateful daughter! And the mother, clutching at her heart and sobbing, goes into the room quietly and for a long time “to die”. How often I hysterically asked my husband, let's leave, we will rent a house, I am ready to gnaw on the stale crust of bread, just let's live on our own. He falls silent at such moments, pretends that nothing happened and everything is new! We got married as students, my husband then lost both parents, after the wedding we decided to live with my parents. Then a child was born, and in the first 2 years the parents treated us quite adequately. We never sat on their necks, my husband always worked part-time, and I did not hesitate to wash the floors in the nearest pharmacy in the evenings. Now my husband has a good job, he is gradually moving up the career ladder, his earnings are stable, we do not live richly, but we do not live in poverty, there is enough for everything! I work too. Of course, parents help with the child. My son doesn't go to kindergarten. It so happened that for a long time there were no places, then it appeared, but on the other side of the city. I found an evening job. The husband comes home from work, and I go to work, and the child is at home. Later, when my husband took up a new position, he began to linger at work. And sometimes I ask my father to sit with the child. And, although the parents assure that the souls do not cherish in their grandson, but, accusing me of ingratitude, they recall to me that they are sitting with the child. The baby is a manipulation tool for my mother! If he wants to hurt me, then a child is the best way! Because good mothers do not have stomach pains in their children, there is no runny nose, and mosquitoes do not bite them. They immediately remember that today she, and not I, WASHED my child's things! But I didn't ask to wash! And the process of pouring powder into the machine and pressing a button sounds too loud! I honestly don't understand why she likes to offend me! It seems to me that she deliberately does it with some kind of pleasure! Recently he says to me: "It's time for you to lose weight, otherwise you will get sick later when your husband leaves!" To say that I was shocked is to say nothing! Of course, I am not a model, but I follow myself, and I have no extra weight! To the question, why do you say that? She: "I see what your husband is, wait, he will show you in a couple of years!" I am so offended, I am the only daughter, but I do not feel either the love or care of my parents! It seems that they are getting worse and worse towards me! On the last birthday, my mother decided to give her a nice gift. From her conversations, I realized that she wanted a gold watch. I took out a bank loan, bought it, presented it as a present. At first I reproached why I had spent so much money. Then, rummaging in my closet, I found the receipt and sold it even more. And when I found out that I had bought on credit, I almost went crazy. She never wore a watch!
He says: "They got too dear to me, your husband must have expressed his dissatisfaction with such an expensive gift more than once!" I am silent! I just remember with what trepidation I bought them, how happy I was when the loan was approved ...! I sometimes think, maybe my husband and I can get a divorce ?! It will be easier for me to be alone with a child in my parents' house! Why is he not doing anything. How he can be resisted by everything that happens!

As a result: how many young families do you think fell apart on this basis in the first years of marriage? Write in the comments what you think - the topic is acute and very interesting.

Tourism is not emigration

Even when the parents are "golden" and the children are the same, and peace reigns in the relationship, no one doubts that the common language may be in question.

You are not the only one getting on this rake. And trust me now, rather than clean up the consequences later.

Even if you happily spend holidays and weekends together, no one can guarantee that the common life will not throw you into a boiling cauldron.

It's all about the nuances. In this situation, each side is a slave to its own habits. And it doesn't matter whose parents you are going to move in with.

Your man's mom will want (most likely quite sincerely) to teach you how to cook "right." That is, not the way you do it. And "real mother's borscht" and cutlets will never work out for you, and everyone will notice and sound it.

3. You have to bend

You will not set the tone for the house either. It has long been established, approved and elevated to the rank of the only possible norm. If something does not suit you, you can hardly change it. We'll have to endure.

If he lives with your ...

1. Your parents will find a rogue in him

Even if the move to your parents was an offer of your parents, they will take off your rose-colored glasses very quickly.

Over time, they will ask you: "Daughter, who did you choose?"

From the point of view of the parents, the son-in-law clearly did not take place as a man. And that's all: he earns little money, no car, no apartment, daughters

2. Projection of resentment

In my practice, there were several cases when the wife's mother (single), in the person of her son-in-law, took revenge on all her own. I think you know how it manifests itself and where the legs of jokes about an inadequate mother-in-law grow from.

3. He will have to bend

To become stronger, to achieve more, a man needs to develop his masculine qualities. Take responsibility, feel like a master and a leader.

If your husband is not, he will feel like his manhood is being infringed. He will feel like a freeloader: no responsibility, no self-respect, not a hero, not a leader, not a defender.

And with such an attitude, as you know, mountains do not move ...

More arguments needed why does a young family need to live separately? Go. Clear and clear.

• To keep your relationship alive

If the son-in-law or daughter-in-law does not suit the parents in any way, everyone will know about it.

If every day you "undermine" about your husband, you will first defend him. Then you will turn a deaf ear to her words, and over time you will become the same as her.

What you and your husband could really close your eyes to and never even notice will suddenly begin to annoy you.

• So that everyday life does not kill love, as everyone scares

Life does not kill a relationship if both the first and the second are correctly built. If you don't have any confusion and confusion about who washes the dishes and fries pancakes, if the woman doesn’t look up first at work and then at home, everything will be fine.