Physician professional publications 

Why all this masquerade? Feelings are true and false. The ship of the family crashes on the ice of selfishness

You have probably heard declarations of love more than once in your life. But were they all sincere, or maybe some of them sounded feigned? When you say "I love you!" the person you adore, you want to shout to the whole street about your happiness, rejoice that you have found mutual love. But if you have doubts, it is better to make sure that the person's feelings are genuine. How to recognize true love?

At first, when feelings are just beginning to grow stronger, love can be easily confused with love, passion, affection.. If you live together for two years or even more, and your feelings for each other are still the same quivering, most likely, this is just love, and it passed its first test - you were able to keep your feeling for the whole time while you got used to each other to friend.

After a year of your relationship or even earlier, love will dissipate, passion will dull. Unless affection can remain, but this is not love. It seems to you that you cannot live without this person, but in fact you just became attached to him. It's definitely an attachment if you fight all the time, can't compromise, but still feel like you can't live without each other. You just got used to each other.

Do you respect each other?

If partners do not have respect for each other, if they are able to offend each other, is it love? Most likely, other feelings similar to love are involved here, but this is not love. For example, if you are guided by your own opinion in solving some issues, and ignore the opinion of your partner, this already speaks of disrespect, and where there is disrespect, there is no place for love.

True love is selfless

Think why did you choose the one you chose. Have you thought that this person will help you save up for new apartment to move out from your parents, will you solve problems for you, will you cook, wash and / or tidy up the house? Is there a lot of self-interest in your desires? If yes, then most likely love. It doesn't smell like you. Real love disinterested.

Do you idealize your partner?

Love is not that feeling when you see only pluses in a partner, but you don’t notice minuses when you make a human ideal out of him. This is love - strong, hot, but not love, again. If you love, you will not dissolve in a person, sacrifice your principles, ideals, aspirations. After all, you can feel like one with your partner, but at the same time have your own hobbies, aspirations, ideals and respect hobbies, aspirations and ideals

Already at our very first lesson, discussing the issues, you and I were faced with the fact that none of you, my dears, can distinguish which true feelings and which ones are false.

But this is very important.

All of you have heard about human energy and energy blocks. So, I will explain to you that this is directly related to feelings.
Feelings are the door to the world of the Soul. And if we are aware of our feelings and correctly identify them, then in this case we understand ourselves, we understand what is happening in the depths of our Soul.

But, unfortunately, none of us were taught this ... Neither our mothers nor grandmothers were taught ...
Such ignorance regarding feelings and the world of the Soul leads to the fact that energy blocks and emotional confusion in people arise already in early childhood.

We will analyze all this in more detail in our classes, which I conduct regularly online.

But not only ordinary people confusion reigns in the minds of feelings.

About what feelings are, there are still disputes between psychologists, philosophers, teachers. I was very interested in this question. long years. And this confusion, to be honest, even irritated.

And so, somewhere in 2004, it so happened that almost simultaneously, with a difference of about a month, I read the same thing in the Toltec teachings and in Transactional Analysis - there are only 4 true feelings !!!

I was very surprised then, just like you are now. And when I read how it is justified by Théun Marez and TA, I accepted this theory with joy. And now, for 12 years now, helping people solve their internal problems, I see how correct and wise this theory is about the four true feelings of people, which underlie all intrapsychic processes of a person.

Why do some people get so confused in life?
Even quite decent psychologists are at a loss and cannot answer correctly: if a person moves towards the rejection of feeling - towards the intellectualization of his life - is this good or bad?

Yes, at the present time, when civilization, progress and reason have taken all the leading positions in people's lives, this is not surprising...
In NLP, there is even a separate type of such people. It's called digital. Otherwise: human-computer. A person who has blocked feelings in himself and lives only by reason. Each of you knows such people. They are unemotional, too reasonable. They exude cold. Living with such a person you feel longing, you begin to suffocate from his constant intellectualizations and moralizations...

When I first began to study the teachings of the Toltecs, for a long time I could not understand why the main postulate is there:
“Life is not an intellectual process. Life is a feeling"

Only when I started to practice, I realized that the real problem of modern people is disconnection from feelings.

The main question that modern people have to ask themselves - why am I so hard and insensitive. And everyone should understand that the answer lies in early childhood - when parents were overly rigid, controlling and judging the child. This is for everyone little man brings incredible pain. After all, when we are very small, we are then still reunited with our feelings and with our Soul. And we acutely feel the pain inflicted on us by our parents. But this pain is so unbearable for us that we decide not to feel. We just block this pain, these feelings. And this has very deplorable negative consequences.

When we feel pain, we regress. We reunite with ourselves as little ones. Remember when you were really bad, you cried. Look deep into yourself, remember how you lived through this pain. And you will see in the depths of yourself - yourself very small, crying. You will feel so sorry for yourself. You reconnect with your pain, feel sorry for yourself and cry now. And the more you feel sorry for yourself, the more you will reunite with your little self, the longer you will cry. But if you return to reality - in the here and now - look around, remember that you are an adult and strong, start breathing deeply, or read poetry to yourself, or say to yourself: “everything is fine, everything is fine,” then your tantrum will immediately stop. Because you have reconnected with reality and with your Adult Ego State...

That is why people prefer not to feel at all in order not to feel pain. People block their sensitivity and switch completely to intellectualization.

But, having lost sensitivity, such people also lose the joy of life, the joy of being surprised by the world, the joy of love ...

Our true feelings reflect our energy state. Everything that happens to us directly depends on them. energy level. And if you have uncontrollable outbursts of anger, or you fall into depression, or often have tantrums - all this suggests that you have a complete mess with your feelings and you need to restore harmony within yourself as soon as possible. Only then will it be energy balance. As you know, without this it is impossible to restore health. Energy imbalance affects your entire life - on health, on success, on personal relationships.

What are feelings? How are feelings born?
Obviously, feelings are the body's response to any external signals. Depending on what information these signals carry, so will the feelings inside us. As I already wrote, very often people have feelings confused with conclusions, and even more so with emotions. Emotions are the outward expression of feelings. We can control our emotions and show them outwardly, or we can hold them back and not show them. Feelings are inside us, they exist, and we cannot control them. They capture, as it were, our entire essence. And we are in them. Emotion is fleeting, and feelings cover us for for a long time.

Feelings are the body's response to interaction with external environment, the response to signals coming from outside. Obviously, true feelings express the main needs of the body:
Desire to live: These include the need for reproduction, unity with other people, the very need to feel life.
The need for growth, development and improvement.
The need for self-preservation. Saving life itself from destruction.
The need to protect their borders, interests, achievements. Protect what has been achieved in the process of life.
All these needs manifest themselves in the form of certain feelings.
Transactional Analysis, the teachings of the Toltecs, the best psychologists such as Eric Fromm, Thomas Trobe - they say the same thing. The only thing they do not focus on is that these are all the immediate needs of our main energy center - the Soul.
So, I gave you a hint in this post. What do you think are the 4 true feelings of a person?
I remind you that we are discussing the task that I gave you in the first lesson:

Practical task:
Answer the questions:
1. What do you think, what false (racket) feelings do we have? List them.
2. What are the four true feelings?

I'm waiting for your wise thoughts and reasoning. You are the wisest! Think!

Track yourself! Observe your feelings and try to understand what feeling in this moment covers you: racket or true?

Leave your thoughts in the comments:

On Livinternet, my blog "Radiance of the Rose of Life" http://www.liveinternet.ru/users/sijanie_roz/post379766884/

On Facebook, my page "Bereginya" https://www.facebook.com/groups/617021458401067/permalink/639698932799986/

For everyone who will take part in the discussion GIFT!!!

You will be able to participate in the webinar "Hear and understand the voice of the Soul" for free

Please email me for webinar requests: [email protected]

About what feelings are, there are still disputes between psychologists, philosophers, teachers.

This question has interested me for a long time.dy. And this confusionfrankly speaking, even irritated.

And a few years ago it so happened that almost simultaneously, with a difference of about a month, I read the same thing in the Toltec teachings and in Transactional Analysis - there are only 4 true feelings !!!

I was very surprised then, just like you are now. And when I read how it is justified by Théun Marez and TA, I accepted this theory with joy. And now, helping people solve their internal problems, I see how correct and wise this theory is about the four true feelings of people, which underlie all intrapsychic processes of a person.

What are feelings? How are feelings born?

Obviously, feelings are the body's response to any external signals. Depending on what information these signals carry, so will the feelings inside us.

As I already wrote, very often people have feelings confused with conclusions, and even more so with emotions. Emotions are the outward expression of feelings. We can control our emotions and show them outwardly, or we can hold them back and not show them. Feelings are inside us, they exist, and we cannot control them. They capture, as it were, our entire being. And we are in them. Emotion is fleeting, and feelings cover us for a long time.

Lovely women! I invite you to my training

__________________________________________________

Feelings are the body's reaction to interaction with the external environment, a response to signals coming from outside. Obviously, feelings express the main needs of the body:

1. Desire to live: This includes the need for reproduction, unity with other people, the very need to feel life.

2. The need for growth, development and improvement.

3. The need for self-preservation. Saving life itself from destruction.

4. The need to protect their borders, interests, achievements. Protect what has been achieved in the process of life.

All these needs manifest themselves in the form of certain feelings.

Transactional analysis, the Toltec teachings, the best psychologists such as Eric Fromm, Thomas Trobe - they say the same thing. The only thing they do not focus on is that these are all the immediate needs of our main energy center - the Soul.

So, I gave you a hint in this post. What do you think are the 4 main human senses? Maybe now you can guess...

Head of the Rose of Life Center

Natalia Ostapenko

Emotions and feelings are closely interconnected with the inner experiences of people. A person does not always show his true feelings to society, often he wants to hide them. Perhaps this is due to the fear of being misunderstood by other people.

Or the fear that others will not perceive his actions as we would like. Often, we can't deal with our emotions on our own. Perhaps this is due to the fact that a person is confused in his personal feelings and, as a result, is not able to quickly express what he wanted. Therefore, one of the frequently asked questions at psychological trainings is: “What are you feeling at the moment?” A question can easily lead a person into a stupor, he does not know what to answer, he is lost. Therefore, if you want to understand any situation, you must first of all determine how this situation affects you specifically, understand how you look at this problem. Of course, in order to reflect on this issue, one minute will not be enough, you need to study your emotions and feelings, delve into the problem, think.

How do emotions arise?

Human problems, his reaction to environment, everything that happens to him falls under the concept of "emotions and feelings." Emotions are nothing more than innate reactions of the body, they appeared with the evolution of people. We can react to what is happening in a negative and positive way. Depending on what is happening around, the human body tunes in to a certain emotional wave. Only thanks to emotions we are able to sympathize with others, empathize, rejoice and be sad. Do not think that only people are emotional. It turns out that animals can also react interestingly to what is happening. The more complex the body of an animal, the more feelings it can express. This should not be surprising, the emotions of animals may not manifest themselves in the same way as human ones, but still they exist. Here is a list of some of them:

  • Satisfaction.
  • Hope.
  • Interest.
  • Anger.
  • Neglect.
  • Fear.
  • Woe.
  • Joy.
  • Sadness.
  • Despair.

As mentioned above, unlike feelings, all human emotions are innate.

K. Izard identified basic emotions

  • Shame.
  • Disgust.
  • Contempt.
  • Astonishment.
  • Sadness.
  • Joy.
  • Anger.
  • Fear.
  • Interest.

What is the difference between feelings and emotions?

Feelings in people are acquired over time, accumulate throughout life, and emotions are always innate. They are needed to meet common needs, while feelings are objective in nature. Feelings concretize the emotions and desires of a person. For example, from listening to music, people may experience an emotion of joy, but they will experience a feeling of joy only when they listen to their beloved Bach or Vivaldi. That is, desires are concretized. How can one explain this or that feeling if a person has never experienced it? For example, let's talk about love. Thanks to own emotions and observation, a person can describe how this feeling is expressed, but the feeling of love itself can only be experienced if you have an object of adoration. Feelings do not appear with birth, they are improved, developed and arise throughout life. Emotions and feelings are closely related to experiences. This suggests that the acquisition of new feelings changes a person.