Why virtual relationships do not turn into real ones. Who needs such a relationship? Is it worth translating a virtual relationship into a real one?

16.05.2019

About such a concept as virtual love, many did not even know 15 years ago. They didn't even know that this was possible. However, years have passed, and such relationships have become the norm for society. At least they are no longer surprising. But does it really exist, or is it a mirage, a fairy tale that cannot resist more harsh reality? This article will focus on virtual love.

What does she represent?

Relationships over the Internet cause great amount disputes. And this is largely due to the incomprehensibility this phenomenon. Not everyone understands how it is generally possible to love a person whom they have not even met. Moreover, quite ordinary love not yet fully explored.

Virtual love originated on the Internet. Today, you can fall in love not only with the person you constantly see, but also with the one with whom you just correspond. And it doesn't matter where he is at that time, in what country. Such relationships cause a lot of controversy. Someone manages to find only positive aspects, for someone such a connection has only disadvantages. But how do things really work?

You can argue about virtual love for a very, very long time, citing a variety of arguments and listening to a huge number of rebuttals. However, it is worth recognizing: relationships through the Internet have a place to be. And they are most popular among young people. What underlies such a connection?

Why does it arise?

Words are the main weapon of virtual love on the web. They are able to evoke a variety of emotions in those people who correspond. And quite often, in the words of the speaker, they see much more meaning than the interlocutor actually wanted to say.

Long distance relationships are like beautiful fairy tale written by two people. And they choose their own images, they themselves come up with a story and live it every time they communicate. Such a connection allows you to become whoever you want. And the most important advantage is that the real state of affairs, in most cases, remains unknown to the interlocutors.

Who needs such a relationship?

Virtual love at a distance usually attracts lonely people who need communication, feelings. You can encounter already successful interlocutors who have achieved certain heights in their careers. There is an opportunity to meet those who have a husband or wife, and even children. But they still try to form relationships at a distance with other people.

Usually it starts with simple phrases, meaningless words. However, over time, the bond can grow stronger. A person will become so attached to his interlocutor that he will no longer understand how it is possible to live normally without communicating with him.

Varieties of relationships

Such a connection has its own classification. It is based on the motives of acquaintance and rewriting. So what can be virtual love and online relationship?

Bonding caused by boredom. Quite often, people start looking for relationships on the Internet because they get bored. They can have a family, a successful career, children. But it is the routine of life that requires some variety. People are starting to register on dating sites, social networks, looking for interlocutors with whom you can just chat. This kind of communication can last a very long time. It ends abruptly. Just one of the interlocutors understands that the meeting in reality will not happen.
Satisfaction of sexual needs. Why does virtual love arise? Men and women may just want to satisfy their sexual desires. In contrast to the case described above, the disconnect occurs after a meeting in reality. Rarely do relationships last long.
Random interlocutor. It is this kind of relationship that implies that the first meeting in reality can be followed by a second, a third, etc. Communication via the Internet can even end in a wedding, or it can fall apart at the stage of correspondence. This kind of love starts with simple communication, the interlocutors do not have any specific goals. They just correspond, share emotions and events from their lives.

What's behind the monitor?

Speaking about virtual love, it should be noted that many are skeptical about it. After all, it is not known with whom you communicate. A “young and successful” guy may be a 50-year-old divorced man. Yes, and his intentions may be completely different. Long distance relationships are risky. Therefore, it is worth considering whether they are needed? In addition, in the process of correspondence, quite real feelings for the interlocutor may appear, and if the image drawn in the imagination does not correspond to reality, this will cause not entirely positive emotions.

If there have not been meetings in reality yet, you should learn about some pitfalls. One of them is embellishment. Interlocutors want to look better than they really are. But this is just one of the few shortcomings.

Negative points

Suppose you have been talking for a very long time, managed to become attached to each other, quite real feelings have appeared. But there is no opportunity to touch and hug the interlocutor. But smiles, kisses, emotions that can be seen - this is very important for normal relationship. And there is a possibility that this will never happen. And than longer goes correspondence, the less likely the meeting. And this only says that all joint events drawn in the imagination will remain a figment of fantasy. Although the connection is virtual, sadness, sadness and broken heart turn out to be very real.

How to avoid this?

Everything is quite simple. No need to delay the meeting. Weekly correspondence is not capable of leading to the appearance of the image of an ideal partner. You simply will not have time to become attached to the interlocutor and the break with him will not be painful. And the meeting in reality will demonstrate whether it is worth continuing the relationship or not. Ultimately, a pen pal can be very different from the real person.

Can't meet up soon? And this happens if the interlocutors live in different countries. IN similar situation you should pay attention to video chats, communication using video cameras, which are available to everyone. Try to be honest with the interlocutor, be more interested in his real life, ask more questions about what he lives, about his hobbies.

Sometimes you can repeat the questions, comparing the answers. If the interlocutor answers them differently, then he is trying to create an image that does not correspond to reality. Accordingly, there will be a reason to think about whether it is worth continuing to communicate with him.

Conclusion

Virtual love, relationships at a distance - phenomena that can not be called either bad or good. If not all, then much will depend on specific people, on their temperament. But, if you still decide to try this kind of connection, do not forget that real emotions cannot be replaced by virtual ones. And meeting in reality is much more interesting than simple correspondence.

How to get rid of virtual love? Just turn off your computer, delete your accounts from social networks or dating sites. Just try to understand that the pen pal is just a picture, a photograph, an image that you have drawn in your own imagination. And nothing more. Of course, virtual relationships are possible. But real feelings can arise only after a real meeting.

In the article you will learn:

Are internet relationships and virtual love possible?

Hello friends! Internet relationships are evil! Especially if they are old, strong, dear and bring wild pleasure :) Therefore, if you are addicted to frivolous correspondence with virtual interlocutors, but you are not going to meet in real life, then read this article. It will be otherwise, as Vladimir Vishnevsky wrote

.. I've downloaded from the Internet

love, wife and this summer,

I’ll make a reservation right away that I myself have pen pals, but they were never considered as candidates for a “relationship”. Real meetings, reactions to different situations actions, not just words. However, some my friends met on social networks and now lead a joint family life.

Their secret is simple - their virtual passion quickly developed into real meetings. They did not hang out in virtual love for years, did not avoid meeting each other, but at the first opportunity they transferred everything to the offline world and built real love. Like these ones stories from happy ending (beginning?) offline :)

You to me and I to me

Any emotionally charged human interactions- there is a relationship, it doesn’t matter whether they are online or in reality. But there is a huge difference between the first and the second, especially if we are talking about feelings. A real relationship in life is the need to share your love energy with a person, when, like a network, most often you only receive and as much as possible.

And notice in the absence of physical and live contact, there are no obligations. How convenient! Therefore, the first thing I understood is that virtual love and virtual relationships are a person’s communication with another, with the aim of make yourself feel good quickly and easily.Sama was there, I know myself. At the age of 15-17, I got such a drive from correspondence with Artyom that I couldn’t tear myself away from the monitor. Emotions were running high and it was good. Sounds good, right? But what is behind this and why is this happening? I'll explain in more detail.

Secret desires hidden in megabytes

When, due to various circumstances, a person suffers from low self-esteem, experiences loneliness, insecurity, fear (which is very typical for adolescents or certain life situations, for example, moving to another country), he seeks in various ways to get rid of discomfort and give yourself pleasure. Accordingly, choose those methods where the person feels safe and weak spots invisible to others.

The impersonal Internet is best suited for this. After all in reality, you need to work hard to please yourself and others, build relationships and get a positive experience (you get up, get dressed, put on make-up, wash your hair, pull your body to the meeting place ...), and on the Internet - you can express any point of view, wear any comfortable mask and without consequences! Anonymity on the web extremely convenient for many.

Moreover, it will not be difficult to meet someone and even fall in love. At the same time, the lack of at least some information about a living person is more than compensated by fantasy and imagination. They will finish the image, worthy of falling in love with him.

It does not matter that the partners do not know anything about each other: how do they react to various events how they swear, how they laugh, how they treat women, parents, children, and so on. It is important that they give each other a phantom feeling of need, drive, bright emotions and enjoy the discussion spicy, forbidden and just interesting topics.

And when parting, they do not have to scream, slam doors and collect things for the move. As one friend wrote: let's stay with you at least online. Therefore, my second conclusion: since you can’t love a picture, you can only like it, There is no love on the Internet, and all feelings are underdeveloped. What a person feels is certainly not fake emotions, but they are often far-fetched and do not develop to the extent that offline relationships do.

Dangerous ties

But there is a buzz, which, like a drug, is always needed. Often enter into relationships through the network dependent people with psychological difficulties. They can be temporary, due to circumstances, or they can be deep, for example, such as intrapersonal conflicts. And than longer man hangs in such a relationship, the more serious the reason that caused the need for them.

You should know why such an addiction is dangerous:

A man living in fantasy easy to use. Surely you have heard the stories of people who were deceived for money under the guise of financial assistance, starting relationships with them on the Internet.
Destroys ability build real alliances.
If cooling in the family, then virtual addiction can finally destroy family life.
Often involved in such communication married men, emotional vampires, sexual don Juans, psychopathic personalities and even people with mental disabilities. Girls, be careful!
And the saddest thing is that while time passes online, real life also passes irrevocably, wonderful events, moments, and most importantly people are missed!

There is such an American transmission of catfish, which reveals the whole truth about virtual relationships. This is a show where guys and girls who are tired of virtual love go looking for their pen mate. Sometimes only to realize that it was all a lie. Often the "second half" turns out to be married or a short blond instead of a tall brunette. Such relationships, built on lies, end immediately at the first meeting.

Relationship stages

I have identified several stages in the development of virtual novels:

Acquaintance random or special. Initial communication and contact establishment.
Further skype, viber, etc.., where the most interesting begins and this stage can last indefinitely.
Possible very rare meetings at the insistence of one of the parties.
My friend spent three years talking with a guy from another city. They confessed their love to each other, dreamed of meeting. They dreamed so much that in 3 years they saw each other only 2 times. The correspondence ended at the initiative of the man: he simply stopped answering ... For her, it was a painful lesson.

So don't let yourself be drawn into this kind of interaction. There are certain signs by which you will understand that a person is looking for only virtual relationships:

delays or refuses to meet
your dialogue is built in such a way that the Internet friend talks only about himself, is not interested in you and does not ask questions
too frank and revealing overconfidence
trying to deceive or mislead you
has a family or other sweetheart

Press Esc and go offline

Therefore, so that virtual acquaintance does not develop into a fake empty relationship through the network, you need to meet in real life within 1 - 2 weeks. If new friend for some reason did not agree, then try to learn more about him, tell about yourself. Make communication more meaningful and relevant real life, simultaneously pushing for a joint trip to the cinema, shop, theater, gallery. It is worth emphasizing that the meeting is not for the sake of evaluating each other, but because it is more fun in the company.

If you can’t pull it out into the light, then ask yourself if you are ready to continue to spend time on this person. If yes, how much. A month, a year, two? Consider why you need it. Are you yourself an Internet relationship addict?

Share your thoughts in the comments, I will be glad!

Be real! June was with you.

Instruction

The feeling of loneliness, isolation from people, probably, is experienced by every second inhabitant of the planet. This is clearly felt where scientific and technological progress is high, and household comfort is considered satisfactory and higher. Many people cherish the dream of a "second half", oh mutual love- especially if the reality is not so. It is human nature to seek the "ideal relationship". The search for psychological harmony occurs everywhere: in the hustle Everyday life, at resorts during the holidays... A particularly intensive search for "ideal partners" takes place on the Internet - among anonymous, at first glance, nicknames on forums, in various social networks and computer games online.
The world of social networks and online role-playing games is a space with a huge population. Virtual is one of the facets of human self-realization. Inventing a character for himself, a person tries to realize certain character traits or "depict" signs of social significance, which he most often does not have in reality, or - for some reason it is difficult to show them. On the other hand, the virtual is just as interesting as the real one. And, although the expression "communication of souls" bears a shade of well-known pathos, it must be admitted: - first of all, verbal contact, and since speech reflects the internal culture and intellectual and mental warehouse of a person, this is communication of souls. If a person is looking for an interlocutor in a huge social space with whom he will be comfortable and well - this is a search soul mate.

Often virtual friendship and love grows so much that the attraction becomes very strong. Virtual communication, virtual love and even virtual sex good up to a certain point, after which there comes a real longing for someone with whom you have to communicate through computer technology. And then a problem arises: decide on a real meeting or leave everything as it is. And here, as they say, not even fifty-fifty. Only ten percent of such meetings end in a happy ending. This is especially true for love.
Tale of ideal relationship collapses before our eyes if people are not ready to accept each other not in an imaginary world, but in a real one, where there is everyday life, everyday life, where touching a partner is real, and where you have to make a lot of new discoveries for yourself in a person whom you seem to know very good as a virtual partner. And these discoveries are not always pleasant. Typing on the keyboard is one thing, but that which does not irritate, attracts with "flesh and blood" is another.
Reality without embellishment will reveal a lot of shortcomings in a loved one. For example - your chosen one or - are infantile, unable to maintain the relationships that you are used to on the Web, cannot take responsibility for relationships, take on the burden of problems that every person has. In other words, to accept a partner as nature created him, with visual and psychological flaws, with character flaws, with social disorder.
And your counterpart may be an alcoholic. And if male alcoholism can be somehow cured "on the crest of love", then female alcoholism almost impossible to cure. Miracles do happen, but very rarely.
On the other side of your computer screen, there may be wonderful person, with a unique inner world and great talents, gentle and loving, but - with spent internal forces. Or, for example, he is terminally ill - it happens. He will not be able to give you more than you get virtually. For example, he will not be able to provide for you, take care of you in the way he dreamed about in the ghostly world of the Web. And also - those who devote the lion's share of their time to communicating on the Internet, most often suffer from laziness, selfishness, an absolute inability to build relationships where words are powerless and real actions are needed. Finally, your chosen one may turn out to be married (married) or - even worse, he is of the same sex as you, and the psychological need to virtually seem like a being of the opposite sex is such a "strangeness". In the ethereal world of virtual relationships, this, alas, is very common, no matter how shocked you are by this information. The perfect lover may be a woman, perfect mistress- a man who knows all the physiological nuances ...

When going into a close virtual relationship with a person you are madly in love with, think about whether you have the strength to stop in time and not do stupid things in real life. After all, it is much more difficult than a virtual idyll. Sometimes attraction to" ideal partner"is so overwhelming that it becomes a real obsession. And then catastrophes are inevitable in family life, if in reality you have . Comparison will inevitably produce destructive work within you, and your real partner will seem unnecessary, not as good as you would like. Virtual relationships will literally "eat up" the remnants of the former attachment, nullify the years life together.
Many "virtual lovers" decide on a real date. Can you build new relationships? And most importantly - is your virtual partner ready for such changes? Reality is sometimes disappointing. He may not suit you outwardly (however, like you do him). You may not like, for example, bad breath, a deadly habit of throwing things around you and dirty socks... But you never know the shortcomings that in virtual communication are simply "not read" in the texts that we diligently generate in the Internet space?
Having decided to change your life, think carefully and ask yourself a very uncomfortable question: why is your "ideal chosen one" sitting on the Web, looking for love not in a real dimension, but in a virtual one? And give yourself an honest answer: are you replacing love for a real person with an imaginary, invented love for a virtual character, albeit unique, but with real person bearing a very distant resemblance?

The attitude towards virtual love in the minds of society is still ambiguous, for which there are reasonable reasons. A large number of upset couples, disappointment of first love, months and years lost in cybernetic space - all these are shortcomings of long-distance relationships. But there is another positive side communication at a distance is an opportunity to get to know a person even before the first meeting takes place, to discover, first of all, the inner world of the interlocutor.

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Feelings real and virtual

The concept of "virtual feelings" in psychology does not exist. All experiences that a person receives during remote communication carry messages to the brain that are identical to those that arise between interlocutors during personal contact. Therefore, virtual love in terms of quality emotional background will not differ from the real one.

For many users of the global network, the main advantage of distance relationships is virtual (a kind of "heavy" flirting aimed at relieving sexual tension at a distance).

Such intentions cannot be called serious, but by disguising their true goal external manifestations deep interest, "wirter" can long time keep your partner the wrong way. This will continue until the deceived person realizes that he is being used to satisfy baser instincts.

Psychologists advise - if a pen pal avoids telling something about himself, except general information, and is not interested in the inner world and thoughts of the interlocutor, but at the same time he constantly makes contact on the network, “sticks” - you need to ask him “on the forehead” what he was so interested in in the interlocutor. Or stop answering him if his intentions have become so transparent.

Scenarios for the development of cyber relations

The possibilities of the world wide web made us take a fresh look at the axioms of building intersexual relations. So far, the scenario for the development of events for a couple has been presented with an approximate scheme:

1. People saw each other.
2. Interest appeared between them;
3. Then a series of events followed, allowing them to get to know each other better.
4. Further inevitable: a key meeting, intimacy and a decision to go through life together.

Girl or guy experiencing real feelings of virtual love. The intrigue warms up the relationship, but also creates significant voids in the perception of each other by the interlocutors. The development of fateful events begins to depend on a person's own fantasy and the accumulated stock of his expectations, formed in the process of communication.

The higher these expectations, the less likely they are to be realized. Distortion of ideas about the interlocutor often leads to disappointment, and this outcome is 75% of all stormy Internet novels. Psychologists advise that from the first minutes of communication with a stranger from the global network, do not endow his image with great mystery. It must be remembered all the time that in his life there are the same life and the same problems: the need to earn money, satisfy physiological needs, sort things out, etc.

Awareness of these primitive facts in to a large extent will reduce the risk of reckless, “blind” falling in love with the image in the photo and make you look at the interlocutor adequately.

What is an interlocutor from the global network?

Only 3-5% of the lucky ones will be able to meet a person who sincerely and fully presents his personality from the first day of meeting on the Internet, but this does not mean that the self-presentation of other people is a hoax.

The vast majority of people on the planet are globes that simultaneously have at least two sides of their own personality (each of which is completely true):

representing paramount interests character traits and features, but completely obscuring the "contextual" background of the personality (provocative position);
highlighting minor traits that do not have a strong meaning for the person himself, but jealously guarding in their shadow the really bright personality traits (defensive position).

It turns out that almost every user of social networks shows only that side of himself, which is most beneficial to him. In real life, it is almost impossible for an individual to exist in the form of a “globe”, because there are always people around who know him personally, but on the Internet there are much more opportunities to hide your shortcomings.

How is virtual love born?

The convergence of people on the Internet is much faster than in real space. To understand how this works, one can imagine simple situation. A person who is dissatisfied with his life (even if he is sure that this is not so) and internally disappointed seeks salvation from mental loneliness by commenting on various videos on a social network. He has to communicate a lot both with opponents of his theories and with supporters.

But time passes, and from the dense mass of dialogue correspondence a woman appears who fully shares his point of view and supports him. Interested, the person goes to the page of a positive respondent, then a dialogue is started.

Distance from each other by a great distance, the lack of common acquaintances liberates both, allows you to make compliments and listen to them. It becomes appropriate from time to time to wish a good day or good night. A mystery immediately arises between a man and a woman, because outwardly their spiritual connection does not yet appear, but inwardly everyone realizes that they are standing at forbidden boundaries.

The situation is aggravated by the fact that the pen pal always acts as a grateful listener, which is rare in real life. There is an illusion of complete understanding, "kinship of souls." It seems to people that they have found each other, and obstacles such as marital relations with other people are perceived by them as insignificant.

This is just one version of the development of events, according to which two exemplary family men suddenly break the strong long-term bonds of marriage and create new relationships. In addition to such a plot, prescribed by involuntary circumstances and a sore need for spiritual nourishment, there are many others.

Pitfalls of distance communication

Certainly at the beginning virtual communication Internet partners give each other a certain limit of trust, limited only by the individual loyalty of each of them. Since people often abuse the limit given to them, its reserves are exhausted before the individual begins to understand the fallacy of the position taken.

The feeling has already flared up, and the person has become close, but so many lies have accumulated that at a personal meeting, part of it will inevitably be revealed. This option is not the worst - fearing to disappoint, most likely, will avoid a date, and virtual relationships will come to naught.

For this reason, a person who regularly finds excuses for postponing a meeting should simply be let go. Psychologists have many examples when people, living in the same city, exchanged remarks for years and did not dare to move to the next stage of the relationship because of the fear of striking at the created fantasy image. And vice versa, an individual who revealed himself completely and possessed an integral nature found the opportunity to travel hundreds and thousands of kilometers for the sake of one meeting.

Manipulators in the network

Proven - even a wish " good morning”, sent to a person you like, but poorly known, once will make him involuntarily single out the addresser from the background of the rest. receiving pleasant messages for three days in a row, the girl, without even thinking about the nature of her sensation, turns on the “identification mode”. An unknown correspondent automatically falls into the circle of "chosen ones" - his appearance on the network not only does not go unnoticed, but is also expected with some impatience.

Without being aware of this, a person, acting as the second person of the dialogue, even if he simply answers: “Hi”, “ Good day”,“ Thanks for the compliment ”, subconsciously tries on himself for the role potential partner proactive person. With regular communication, he already understands what answers he would like to hear and weighs his own words. To appear in the eyes of the interlocutor at least in some way imperfect for him is like an open shame. A little more and, being trapped in the image created by him, the person loses all vigilance.

On such a step as “stimulation”, focusing attention on their person, there are womanizers and Wirth lovers, in other words, skillful manipulators and players on human weaknesses. Their potential victims:

students and high school students;
women under 32-35 years old, tired of a failed marriage or recently divorced;
housewives, freelance women, etc.
men of a "tipping" age - 43-46 years old, mired in everyday problems or not feeling sexual interest by the wife.

Pros and cons of virtual relationships

There are many cases where couples who met on the Internet are united in marriage unions and continue to live in full family relationships. Often these are people from different localities who do not have the opportunity to see each other more than 3-4 times during the entire time of communication. Such a unique combination of spiritual, platonic communication, supported by the joy of rare and desirable meetings, leads to an enviable understanding between partners and the ability to appreciate each other's closeness.

Virtual partners who for a year or more of communication have never bothered to organize a personal meeting, and those who have repeatedly parted and converged over the course of a long network communication, have less chance on the strong relationships in real world. But here it is still necessary to figure out whether we are talking about virtual love, and whether a substitution of common concepts is formed in this case.

Love, both real and virtual, must adhere to the same unchanging values: sincerity, purity of thought and understanding.

How did everything suddenly change? Fine Features in profile picture, serenade in MP3, flowers by hyperlink, private gifts on the portal, sincere conversation on ICQ, passions in blogs, feelings in a smiley. All in all - love on the internet.

I'm probably not a romantic at all, so let's immediately make definitions. Love - it cannot be virtual, it is always real! This is a feeling that has come to you (or gone, or is about to come). BUT virtual space- this is just a means of communication, only more modern than the telegraph or telephone, and thanks to which we can now communicate without limits, even with a neighbor behind the wall, even with a stranger on the other side of the world. Respectively, love is not virtual but maybe yours real love that you show to your internet friend. Is it good or bad?

It has great value who and what is looking for on the World Wide Web. People usually look for things on the Internet that they don't find in real life. Some hang out on dating sites in order to find a life partner, because an electronic dating agency provides more opportunities than once existing marriage agencies or newspaper ads. They choose the profile they like, start chatting, make an appointment, and there they already look at the situation.

In cities where the pace of life is getting higher and higher, or in villages where the choice is not rich, it probably makes sense to surf the Internet in order to get to know each other. And the one who virtual dating does not support and would like to find a real partner, such a romantic is waiting for his "half" at home at the computer ...

Others find on the Internet communication of interest. As in the process of any communication, people have sympathy for someone, antipathy for someone.

When someone jokes with you on the Internet, you really smile and laugh. But when you receive an unpleasant message that you actually didn’t care about, because you understand that the author is just an idiot, you still really annoyed, take offense and even for some time really going through e. Communication is virtual, but feelings, sensations and experiences are real!

And now you already catch yourself thinking that you think too often about a friend from the Internet. You expect messages from him, worry if he does not get in touch, look with reverence at the green eye in the "ICQ" next to his nickname ... And you understand that you are really not indifferent to him.

Since such a darkness of people communicates online day and night, where else can they meet and fall in love? The fact is that human thought is energy, and energy is material, and it does not matter how it is transmitted - whether in personal communication or through means of communication, which include the Internet.

Therefore, along with words, emoticons and photographs, real emotions and feelings splash out. Moreover, they are perceived from the Internet quite realistically. Online communication helps a lot. Now the question is: where, in fact, do your feelings splash out? On whom? Where do you get feelings and sensations from? From whom? From the monitor? Not! Heaps of wires, boards and microcircuits? Of course not.

You have a certain image created by your interlocutor, colorfully completed by your imagination. Yes, it happens that a person comes up with an image and falls in love with it. However, this is just one of the phenomena that takes place. And not necessarily on the Internet. Take, for example, love for singers or actors. After all, especially sensual natures really fall in love with them, more precisely, with their image. Or take, for example, unrequited love . However, this is a separate issue, but falling in love with a fictional image takes place here, although here it is - very real, not from a screen or monitor.

When communicating online, a very complex interaction is generated by a mixture of internal needs of the individual, fantasies and feelings. The inhibitory effect is exerted by complexes and stereotypes. There are also catalysts that promote and accelerate the development of feelings. The catalyst may be that communication on the Internet tends to be at a higher, spiritual level.

In life, whatever one may say, we will pay attention to appearance, talk about the weather, about everyday trifles, in the bustle and bustle of the day we have too little time for philosophy. People go to the cinema - watch a movie, go to a cafe - drink coffee. In the network, we can directly address the personality of the interlocutor and reflect on the meaning of life, on subtle feelings, without being distracted by external stimuli. We even allow ourselves such manners of communication, as well as topics that we will not allow ourselves in personal communication. All this brings together faster.

However, unlike a singer or an actor who looks at us from a poster on the wall, your Internet acquaintance communicates with you, and you like it. And now you are already catching yourself thinking that you love him and want to throw out your feelings on him for real, and are looking for opportunities for this.

This is where the tricky question comes in: what is your lover really like? After all, with all the advantages of the network, it is impossible to fully express yourself in it, even with all the desire. Therefore, a person chooses a certain role for himself.

Most often I have seen two options for the manifestation of personality on the Internet.

In the first variant, a person presents his main features and interests, while his secondary features do not find a place in the network. I think this may not happen to hide them, but simply there is not enough time and effort for this.

The second option is a shift in emphasis in personal qualities and bringing your secondary interests and feelings to the fore.

In both cases, it turns out like the same person, and at the same time different. For example, a person highlights their Creative skills or some interests, and sometimes even feelings that are not realized in real life. Whereas his acquaintances in real life may not even guess about his work, his interests, and, moreover, feelings.

Thirdly, the one-sided role is also due to the fact that sites, blogs, forums and chats are devoted to a certain topic, and so that there is no bacchanalia and it is interesting to communicate, the moderators monitor compliance with the topic.

How typical is your interlocutor's chosen Internet role in real life? But you fell in love with him exactly the way he presented himself on the Internet. Everything else is colorfully painted for you by your imagination!

For this reason, many meetings scheduled after a long Internet acquaintance do not take place under various pretexts. A person knows that in reality he is not the same as he presented himself on the Internet, therefore he does not want or is even afraid to appear before the bright eyes of his Internet interlocutor. And the topics discussed on the network, especially if it was about high matters and subtle feelings, are usually not discussed in person.

A long time ago, the relationship building scheme looked like this: they were introduced to each other, they had feelings, they decided to be together, after a relatively long time of acquaintance, they announced their engagement and got married.

Before the rise of the Internet, another scheme became typical: they met, liked each other, slept together, liked it even more, started living together ... further options are possible.

Now, in bloom world wide web, more is added several steps to early stage development of relations. And the steps are very slippery. After all, it is quite possible that very good man, which in real life you would like at first sight, could not show itself on the Internet and did not arouse your interest. Or maybe vice versa - you in absentia fell in love with the one whom you real acquaintance would not even look.

Your romance seems to be virtual, but real feelings are born! Sometimes people enjoy these feelings.

But if something does not add up, then it hurts for real, and not virtually. This is the most a big problem virtual novels. Because a bummer, it is always a real bummer, and in addition to painful feelings and sensations, it entails a number of very bad consequences: the generation of new complexes, the aggravation of old ones, and so on and so forth ...

Are there happy meetings thanks to the Internet? There are.

Are there disappointments after online dating? There are.

Are there happy meetings in reality? Certainly.

Are there disappointments after real meetings and living together? Happen.

Does the Internet offer certain advantages over face-to-face communication? Gives something, loses something.

Are there any pitfalls in such an acquaintance? There are, only they are completely different than with real acquaintance and personal communication. And it depends only on you, how do you define the purpose of such acquaintance and communication, what do you expect from him?!

After all, the needs for feelings are manifested in several ways: family or creation stable couple, passion, thrill, communication by interests. You will find communication, but on the topic of the rest no need to deify the Internet, it does not have supernatural powers. Leave it to the imagination of filmmakers. There is no virtual off-screen world. But in front of each computer sits a real live person.

In general, very often people call love what is actually not love. And because of the substitution of concepts, problems arise, sometimes very serious. Passion and thrill, or vice versa - the dominant thought, sometimes to the point of obsession, is often mistaken for love.

It's pretty easy to understand here. If such "love" prevents you from living and creating, if it suppresses you, gives you a lot of problems and painful experiences - this is not love at all, look for another word to designate it.

Because love is always a creative force! And it does not matter whether it is love for a wife or husband, for a singer, actor, or an Internet acquaintance, or even for a lover or mistress - this love should inspire you, fill you with energy, strength and pure desires. Then it can be called Love!