Using the attachment method to get people to do what you want. Make sure the request is from the right person. Gestures have cultural differences

09.04.2019

Current page: 1 (total book has 19 pages) [accessible reading excerpt: 5 pages]

Susan Weinshenk
Laws of Influence. How to get people to do what you want

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use without written permission copyright owner.

Legal support of the publishing house is provided by law firm"Vegas Lex"

This book is well complemented by:

The Art of Influence

Mark Goulston, John Ullman

I hear right through you

Mark Goulston

The psychology of persuasion

Robert Cialdini

Dedicated to my children, Guthrie and Macy, who sometimes found it a blessing and probably a lot of times a punishment that their mother was a psychologist. I tested all my theories on you!

Introduction

Are you a good cook? I prefer to think that I am a good cook. Sometimes I get something magical, sometimes mediocre.

I learned to cook by watching my mom, following recipes and experimenting. Recently I got a book about cooking as a science, and now I know why some recipes are successful, while others are not, and why it is not always possible to change one ingredient for another.

Now I do not follow the recipe literally and do not guess what will happen if I improvise. I put scientific knowledge into practice. For example, I know exactly what ingredients to take and what to do with them so that the dish turns out as intended.

Let's apply the same principle to humans.

Do you get along with people? Do you know how to make them do what you want? Do you use methods that you have developed yourself or learned from others? I bet that your strategy does not always live up to your expectations. As well as a dish prepared without knowledge of the scientific foundations of cooking.

If you knew exactly what motivates people, and if you could apply this knowledge correctly, you would be able to get people to do what you need. You would not have to guess "how your word will respond" - you would immediately choose the right path.

That's why you need my book.

Chapter 1
Seven motivators

My already adult children often blame me for the fact that in their upbringing I used psychological tricks. And they are right!

I am convinced that these methods work. When my three-year-old daughter whined one day, trying to beg for something, her five-year-old brother said to this: “Don’t you understand that whining will not achieve anything in this family?” The whining stopped. The son knew what he was talking about.

By the time he was born, I had been working as a psychologist for more than ten years and I was determined to use all my professional knowledge so that my children would not whine (and also be obedient, empathetic, hardworking, etc.). But most importantly, no whining. I couldn't stand whining!

Unlike working with clients, I had an advantage in raising children: I started working from the moment they were born. However, knowing the motives of human behavior, you can change your behavior towards people, as well as what you offer them, and how and what you require of them. You can vary your strategy and tactics to get people to do what you want.

Psychological research held for over a hundred years. Many of the earliest conclusions are still true today. Later technical possibilities - to look inside the brain and look at its work - confirmed this, and also made it possible to understand the motives of our actions much better. While working on the book, I used the results of both early and recent research.

We will look at seven behavioral motivators:

– The need for belonging

– Habits

– The power of stories

– Method of stick and carrot

– Instincts

- Striving for excellence

- Mind games

I will describe each of them, explain their essence and share with you the strategy created on its basis.

Need for belonging

Have you seen the movie "Rogue"? Tom Hanks' character is stranded in a plane crash desert island in the South Pacific, where he spends several years. Pushing around alone, he takes a volleyball from the surviving luggage, draws a face on it and has been constantly talking to him since. He even gives his "friend" the name Wilson - after the name of the manufacturing company. Not being able to communicate with real person, the hero of the film was forced to create for himself his likeness.

We are social animals. Our desire to be accepted and connect with others is a powerful innate motivator. We are not equipped to live alone and will do our best to become part of society. We need at least somewhere to feel among our own.

To get people to do what you want, you can use their overwhelming desire to feel like they belong to a particular group.

habits

It's amazing how many everyday things we do automatically, out of habit. Often we don't even remember how they were formed.

I bet you have a ritual to wake up in the morning, take a shower, and get ready for work. How do these rituals come about? And why is it so difficult for us to change habits or consciously acquire new ones?

We hear all the time that it takes months to get used to something new. Why is that? After all, we have already acquired a lot of habits without even realizing it. It's actually very easy to start a new habit or change an existing one. It is enough to understand how they are formed.

The power of stories

What kind of person are you? Do you do charity work? Do you follow fashion? Are you a good family man?

Each of us has own history. We tell ourselves and others who we are and why we do what we do. Some of these stories we create consciously, but most of them appear by themselves.

We prefer our stories to be consistent. Feeling our own inconsistency makes us feel uncomfortable.

By understanding exactly what people think of themselves, you will be able to communicate with them in a way that your behavior matches their ideas, and ultimately encourage them to do what you need.

The stick and stick method

Think about it: you spend a lot of time and effort trying to get people to do what you need; maybe you even offer them a reward. And meanwhile in a casino people pay for it!

The casino has long and successfully used the so-called "variable rate reinforcement regime"; as a result, people play again and again, even if they lose.

You can use the casino-proven method to your advantage. It is necessary to study the results of research on various reinforcement regimens, to understand which one to use in which case and why rewards affect people's behavior more than punishments.

A few years ago, the trend in psychology was to study rewards and positive reinforcements. Today we know that motivators such as instinct, the pursuit of excellence, and the need for belonging are sometimes stronger than any reward. However, in some cases, the reward still remains in the best possible way get people to do what you want. You just need to use it in the right way.

instincts

You are driving a car and see the consequences of a traffic accident ahead. You tell yourself not to slow down or look in that direction, and yet you feel an overwhelming urge to do so.

Sometimes we forget that we belong to the animal world. Each of us has a set of powerful basic instincts—the instinct for self-preservation, the instinct for food, and the sexual instinct—that influence our behavior. Sometimes you can get people to do what you want by using the power of those instincts.

Perhaps you consider the game to be sexual attraction or hunger unsuitable for achieving their goals. However, the instinct of self-preservation is suitable for most cases.

Our subconscious constantly controls what is happening around us, its task is to ensure safety. Therefore, we are especially susceptible to everything unexpected and frightening. Fear of loss is an extremely powerful motivator. You can use it to get people to do what you want.

Pursuit of excellence

The pursuit of excellence motivates much more than rewards. People are driven by the desire to learn and hone their knowledge and skills.

This motivator is called internal - the desire to be a master is born in the person himself (as opposed to external motivators like rewards). And internal motive forces are usually more powerful than external ones. You cannot force a person to use an internal motivator, but you can initiate appropriate situations.

Some circumstances contribute to a person's striving for perfection, others suppress it. By learning how to stimulate it, you will be able to motivate people to do what you need.

Mind games

Surely you have seen optical illusions. Your vision sends a signal to your brain that what you see is not what it really is. However, illusions are also cognitive. The thought process has several typical scenarios. Our brains are designed to make quick decisions. This provides a quick reaction to what is happening, but sometimes hasty conclusions and instant decisions lead to cognitive illusions.

Did you know that hearing the word "money" makes people more independent and less eager to help others? Did you know that people tend to "filter out" facts that do not agree with their beliefs, but these filters can be bypassed?

Use cognitive illusions to get people to do what you want them to do.

Too insidious?

When talking about how to get people to do what you want, I often hear questions about moral principles: “Isn't it too insidious to use such psychological tricks? Is it ethical?

It is not easy to answer them.

Someone thinks that trying to force people to do something is unethical in principle. Others argue that if you're doing them a favor—trying to get them to eat healthy or stop smoking—then it's all right. I stick to the middle.

The first thing you must understand is that you cannot force people to do what you want if they themselves do not want it, even if subconsciously. You can cheer them up or create situations that activate their own motivators, but you don't have absolute power over them. Your goal is to make people want do what you want you.

There is nothing immoral about forcing people to think about their decision before implementing it, encouraging them to do the right thing in relation to society (to save energy and donate money to charity), and most agree with me on this. But what about when people are encouraged to buy something?

I recently served as a government expert consultant on court cases about online fraud and now have a better sense of the line between ethical and unethical behavior. In my opinion, exhibit your product in the most favorable light and adjusting it to the needs and desires of customers is quite normal.

Is it necessary new refrigerator to everyone and everyone? Probably not. But it seems to me that it is absolutely normal to encourage people to buy it right now and from you (otherwise you will have to agree that the entire field of marketing and advertising is unethical).

Deliberately deceiving people by offering them vaguely formulated terms of purchase, encouraging them to do things to harm themselves or others, provoking them to break the law is wrong.

That's what I consider normal: to be useful or not to harm.

Now that we have dealt with the issues of ethics, we are ready to start studying the seven motivators of human behavior. In the following chapters, I will reveal to you their scientific background.

Chapter 2
Need for belonging

If I ask you to think of times when you felt out of place, you will surely come up with quite a few examples. Perhaps you remember how you were not accepted into the school sports team. Or how classmates you thought were your friends didn't invite you to a party. And some memories will be very fresh. How about that company where everyone was having a heated discussion about a topic that you had no idea about? In addition, the participants in the conversation were significantly younger than you.

In each such case, you probably felt like an outcast and, most likely, suffered from longing, loneliness, or seething with anger.

Now think about situations when, on the contrary, you felt your involvement in what was happening. Perhaps you grew up in friendly family and enjoyed participating in all family holidays. Or you are seized by a delightful sense of unity when you and other fans shout at the stadium in unison: “Go-o-ol!” Most likely, memories of belonging are accompanied by a feeling of happiness.

People have a strong need to feel like they are part of a group. We do our best to do so and will do our best to avoid actions that may cause disapproval, ostracize or expel us from a community we value belonging to. This is a very powerful need, it affects us more than we think.

When people feel they belong, they perform better.

Gregory Walton, Professor at Stanford University for a long time studied the influence of the sense of belonging on human behavior. During one of his experiments, Walton found that subjects were more motivated and achieved best results if colleagues told them they were born on the same day. By the way, the same effect was observed in five-year-old children.

Some participants in another Walton experiment had to run in place, which increased their heart rate. At the same time, the subjects who felt a connection with the runner (for example, were born with him on the same day), the pulse also increased. Walton came to the conclusion that people tend to share the goals, motives, emotions, and even physical reactions of those with whom they feel at least a minimal connection.

Walton also found that people who feel like they work as a team are more motivated to achieve a goal than when they work alone. They work harder and longer on a task, get deeper into the problem, and achieve better results even in the absence of any reward. Again, this applies to both adults and children.

Strategies
Strategy 1: Make people feel connected to their colleagues and they will perform better.

Use nouns, not verbs

The need for belonging can be very subtle. We identify with the groups to which we belong, and this feeling can seriously influence our behavior.

You can stimulate group identity by drawing on how people talk about themselves or by asking the right questions. For example, research by Gregory Walton shows that the phrases "I'm a chocolate eater" and "I eat a lot of chocolate" define a person's degree of love for chocolate in different ways. "Eater" is a noun. "Em" is a verb. People who say, "I'm a chocolate eater," meaning they use a noun instead of a verb, show a stronger craving for chocolate.

When asking participants in the experiment about their intention to take part in the upcoming vote, Walton used two phrases: "How important is it for you to be a voter in tomorrow's election?" and “How important is it for you to vote in tomorrow’s election?” As a result, more representatives of the first group, to which the wording with the noun “voter” was addressed, voted. The feeling of belonging to a certain group influences your behavior.

When you ask people to do something, use nouns, not verbs. By giving them a sense of belonging to the group, you are much more likely to get the result you want.

Strategies
Strategy 2: When you ask people to do something, use nouns rather than verbs to create a sense of group identity.

Use the power of someone else's opinion

Have you ever participated in church ceremonies unfamiliar to you, when you don’t know what will happen next? Will the congregation respond to the priest, or pray, or sing? Everyone sits, stands or kneels, obeying various signals. You stealthily observe how others behave and try to imitate their actions. If they all put on their heads at once paper bags and turned around three times on its own axis, you would probably start looking with your eyes where you can get the same package.

Why do other people's behavior look so convincing? Why do we carefully look at what others are doing and copy it? This desire is called social conformity.

In an experiment conducted in the 1970s, the subject was invited into the audience, ostensibly to take a creative test. There were already other people there, they pretended to be there for the same purpose, but in fact they were decoys. During testing, smoke began to flow from the vents into the room. Will the subject run out of the room? Will he point out the smoke to someone? Or ignore what's going on?

Bibb Latane and John Darley have done many similar experiments. They created ambiguous situations to see how a person reacts to the actions or inactions of others. The reaction of the subjects depended on the behavior of other people in the audience, as well as on their number.

The more people in the room, and the more blatantly they ignored the presence of smoke, the more likely the subjects were to do nothing. But if the subject was alone in the room, when smoke appeared, after a few seconds he ran out of the room shouting “fire”. We like to think that we are unique and independent in our judgments. The truth is that the drive to fit in and be part of a group is built into our brains and into our biology. We want to be like the rest. This is such a powerful motivator that when we find ourselves in an unfamiliar situation, we look to others to figure out how to behave. And we do it unconsciously. You can use social matching to get people to do what you want them to do. It is very light and effective method– you just need to let them know how many people are already doing just that.

If you want a person to quit smoking, tell him how many smokers are in this program (in this country, in specific dates, by using this method) got rid of bad habit. If you want people to buy a certain product, talk about how many copies have already been sold. If you would like to raise donations, tell us how many philanthropists have already made charitable contributions. Obviously, this only works if there are a significant number of people who have already done what you need.

Make sure you don't inadvertently reveal that many people have done or are doing things that shouldn't be done. Do not tell teenagers that 25% of their peers smoke or drink. Sometimes people or companies make this mistake, wanting to emphasize the magnitude of the problem.

Impact on energy consumers by comparison with neighbors
Some energy companies use the powerful power of social conformity to get people to save energy. They send energy consumption charts to their customers so that everyone can compare their consumption with their neighbors. If a customer uses less energy than the average for the area, a smiley face is displayed on their graph. Initially, they used a frown emoticon in case the customer's consumption exceeded average level. But, after receiving a lot of complaints, they began to use only smiley emoji - one or two (if the client saved a lot of electricity) or did not draw a smiley at all if the level of consumption of the client meets or exceeds the average. As a result, the company's customers, having the opportunity to compare their level of consumption with their neighbors, saved more and more energy.

Once I was present at the bottom open doors some college. One of the administrators informed the applicants and their parents that over the past three years, the dorms on campus had violated the ban on alcohol more than 200 times. That is - attention! – directly pointed out that there are problems associated with the use of alcohol on their campus. Then he began to talk about the measures that are being taken to solve the problem, but fatal mistake he has already done. He had just informed 300 applicants that many of the students in this college drink alcohol. It is likely that this statement only exacerbated the situation.

Before you formulate your arguments for why people should do what you want them to do, analyze and stock up on data about how many people are already doing it.

Strategies
Strategy 3: To get people to do something, show them that others are already doing it.

Susan Weinshenk

Laws of Influence. How to get people to do what you want

Legal support of the publishing house is provided by the law firm "Vegas-Lex"

This book is well complemented by:

The Art of Influence

Mark Goulston, John Ullman

I hear right through you

Mark Goulston

The psychology of persuasion

Robert Cialdini

Dedicated to my children, Guthrie and Macy, who sometimes found it a blessing and probably a punishment many times, that their mother is a psychologist. I tested all my theories on you!

Susan Weinschenk

How to Get People to Do Stuff. Master the art and science of persuasion and motivation

Introduction

Are you a good cook? I prefer to think that I am a good cook. Sometimes I get something magical, sometimes mediocre.

Let's apply the same principle to humans.

If you knew exactly what motivates people, and if you could apply this knowledge correctly, you would be able to get people to do what you need. You would not need to guess "how your word will respond" - you would immediately choose the right path.

That's why you need my book.

Chapter 1

My grown-up children often blame me for using psychological methods in their upbringing. And they are right!

Psychological research has been carried out for more than a hundred years. Many of the earliest conclusions are still true today. Later technical possibilities - to look inside the brain and look at its work - confirmed this, and also made it possible to understand the motives of our actions much better. While working on the book, I used the results of both early and recent research.

We will look at seven behavioral motivators:

Need for belonging

habits

The power of stories

The stick and stick method

instincts

Pursuit of excellence

Mind games

I will describe each of them, explain their essence and share with you the strategy created on its basis.

Need for belonging

Have you seen the movie "Rogue"? The character of Tom Hanks, as a result of a plane crash, finds himself on a desert island in the South Pacific Ocean, where he spends several years. Pushing around alone, he takes a volleyball from the surviving luggage, draws a face on it and has been constantly talking to him since. He even gives his "friend" the name Wilson - after the name of the manufacturing company. Not being able to communicate with a real person, the hero of the film was forced to create his likeness for himself.

To get people to do what you want, you can use their overwhelming desire to feel like they belong to a particular group.

habits

It's amazing how many everyday things we do automatically, out of habit. Often we don't even remember how they were formed.

The power of stories

What kind of person are you? Do you do charity work? Do you follow fashion? Are you a good family man?

Each of us has our own story. We tell ourselves and others who we are and why we do what we do. Some of these stories we create consciously, but most of them appear by themselves.

We prefer our stories to be consistent. Feeling our own inconsistency makes us feel uncomfortable.

By understanding exactly what people think of themselves, you will be able to communicate with them in a way that your behavior matches their ideas, and ultimately encourage them to do what you need.

The stick and stick method

Think about it: you spend a lot of time and effort trying to get people to do what you need; maybe you even offer them a reward. And meanwhile in a casino people pay for it!

The casino has long and successfully used the so-called "variable rate reinforcement regime"; as a result, people play again and again, even if they lose.

A few years ago, the trend in psychology was to study rewards and positive reinforcement. Today we know that motivators such as instinct, the pursuit of excellence, and the need for belonging are sometimes stronger than any reward. However, in some cases, rewards are still the best way to get people to do what you want them to do. You just need to use it in the right way.

instincts

You are driving a car and see the consequences of a traffic accident ahead. You tell yourself not to slow down or look in that direction, and yet you feel an overwhelming urge to do so.

Sometimes we forget that we belong to the animal world. Each of us has a set of powerful basic instincts - the instinct for self-preservation, the instinct for food and the sexual instinct - that influence our behavior. Sometimes you can get people to do what you want by using the power of those instincts.

You may find playing on sexual desire or hunger unsuitable for achieving your goals. However, the instinct of self-preservation is suitable for most cases.

Select chapter

Need for belonging

To get people to do what you want, you can use their overwhelming desire to feel like they belong to a particular group.

habits

It's amazing how many everyday things we do automatically, out of habit. Often we don't even remember how they were formed.

The power of stories

What kind of person are you? Do you do charity work? Do you follow fashion? Are you a good family man?

Each of us has our own story. We tell ourselves and others who we are and why we do what we do. Some of these stories we create consciously, but most of them appear by themselves.

We prefer our stories to be consistent. Feeling our own inconsistency makes us feel uncomfortable.

By understanding exactly what people think of themselves, you will be able to communicate with them in a way that your behavior matches their ideas, and ultimately encourage them to do what you need.

The stick and stick method

Think about it: you spend a lot of time and effort trying to get people to do what you need; maybe you even offer them a reward. And meanwhile in a casino people pay for it!

The casino has long and successfully used the so-called "variable rate reinforcement regime"; as a result, people play again and again, even if they lose.

instincts

You are driving a car and see the consequences of a traffic accident ahead. You tell yourself not to slow down or look in that direction, and yet you feel an overwhelming urge to do so.

You may find playing on sexual desire or hunger unsuitable for achieving your goals. However, the instinct of self-preservation is suitable for most cases.

Susan Weinshenk

Legal support of the publishing house is provided by the law firm "Vegas-Lex"

This book is well complemented by:

The Art of Influence

Mark Goulston, John Ullman

I hear right through you

Mark Goulston

The psychology of persuasion

Robert Cialdini

Dedicated to my children, Guthrie and Macy, who sometimes found it a blessing and probably a lot of times a punishment that their mother was a psychologist. I tested all my theories on you!

Introduction

Are you a good cook? I prefer to think that I am a good cook. Sometimes I get something magical, sometimes mediocre.

Let's apply the same principle to humans.

That's why you need my book.

Seven motivators

My grown-up children often blame me for using psychological methods in their upbringing. And they are right!

We will look at seven behavioral motivators:

– The need for belonging

– Habits

– The power of stories

– Method of stick and carrot

– Instincts

- Striving for excellence

- Mind games

I will describe each of them, explain their essence and share with you the strategy created on its basis.

Need for belonging

To get people to do what you want, you can use their overwhelming desire to feel like they belong to a particular group.

habits

It's amazing how many everyday things we do automatically, out of habit. Often we don't even remember how they were formed.

The power of stories

What kind of person are you? Do you do charity work? Do you follow fashion? Are you a good family man?

Each of us has our own story. We tell ourselves and others who we are and why we do what we do. Some of these stories we create consciously, but most of them appear by themselves.

We prefer our stories to be consistent. Feeling our own inconsistency makes us feel uncomfortable.

By understanding exactly what people think of themselves, you will be able to communicate with them in a way that your behavior matches their ideas, and ultimately encourage them to do what you need.

The stick and stick method

Think about it: you spend a lot of time and effort trying to get people to do what you need; maybe you even offer them a reward. And meanwhile in a casino people pay for it!

The casino has long and successfully used the so-called "variable rate reinforcement regime"; as a result, people play again and again, even if they lose.

instincts

You are driving a car and see the consequences of a traffic accident ahead. You tell yourself not to slow down or look in that direction, and yet you feel an overwhelming urge to do so.

You may find playing on sexual desire or hunger unsuitable for achieving your goals. However, the instinct of self-preservation is suitable for most cases.

Pursuit of excellence

The pursuit of excellence motivates much more than rewards. People are driven by the desire to learn and hone their knowledge and skills.

Some circumstances contribute to a person's striving for perfection, others suppress it. By learning how to stimulate it, you will be able to motivate people to do what you need.

Mind games

Surely you have seen optical illusions more than once. Your vision sends a signal to your brain that what you see is not what it really is. However, illusions are also cognitive. The thought process has several typical scenarios. Our brains are designed to make quick decisions. This provides a quick reaction to what is happening, but sometimes hasty conclusions and instant decisions lead to cognitive illusions.

Use cognitive illusions to get people to do what you want them to do.

Too insidious?

When talking about how to get people to do what you want, I often hear questions about moral principles: “Isn't it too insidious to use such psychological tricks? Is it ethical?

It is not easy to answer them.

I recently served as a government expert consultant on online fraud litigation and now have a better sense of the line between ethical and unethical behavior. In my opinion, it is quite normal to show your product in the most favorable light and bring it into line with the needs and desires of buyers.

Does everyone need a new refrigerator? Probably not. But it seems to me that it is absolutely normal to encourage people to buy it right now and from you (otherwise you will have to agree that the entire field of marketing and advertising is unethical).

Deliberately deceiving people by offering them vaguely formulated terms of purchase, encouraging them to do things to harm themselves or others, provoking them to break the law is wrong.

That's what I consider normal: to be useful or not to harm.

Now that we have dealt with the issues of ethics, we are ready to start studying the seven motivators of human behavior. In the following chapters, I will reveal to you their scientific background.

Need for belonging

In each such case, you probably felt like an outcast and, most likely, suffered from longing, loneliness, or seething with anger.

Now think about situations when, on the contrary, you felt your involvement in what was happening. Perhaps you grew up in a friendly family and enjoyed participating in all family holidays. Or you are seized by a delightful sense of unity when you and other fans shout at the stadium in unison: “Go-o-ol!” Most likely, memories of belonging are accompanied by a feeling of happiness.

When people feel they belong, they perform better.

Gregory Walton, a professor at Stanford University, has long studied the influence of belonging on human behavior. During one of his experiments, Walton found that subjects were more motivated and achieved better results if colleagues told them they were born on the same day. By the way, the same effect was observed in five-year-old children.

Strategies
Strategy 1: Make people feel connected to their colleagues and they will perform better.

Use nouns, not verbs

The need for belonging can be very subtle. We identify with the groups to which we belong, and this feeling can seriously influence our behavior.

When you ask people to do something, use nouns, not verbs. By giving them a sense of belonging to the group, you are much more likely to get the result you want.

Strategies
Strategy 2: When you ask people to do something, use nouns rather than verbs to create a sense of group identity.

Use the power of someone else's opinion

Have you ever participated in church ceremonies unfamiliar to you, when you don’t know what will happen next? Will the congregation respond to the priest, or pray, or sing? Everyone sits, stands or kneels, obeying various signals. You stealthily observe how others behave and try to imitate their actions. If they all put paper bags on their heads at once and turned around their own axis three times, you would probably start looking with your eyes where you can get the same bag.

Why do other people's behavior look so convincing? Why do we carefully look at what others are doing and copy it? This desire is called social conformity.

The more people in the room, and the more blatantly they ignored the presence of smoke, the more likely the subjects were to do nothing. But if the subject was alone in the room, when smoke appeared, after a few seconds he ran out of the room shouting “fire”. We like to think that we are unique and independent in our judgments. The truth is that the drive to fit in and be part of a group is built into our brains and into our biology. We want to be like the rest. This is such a powerful motivator that when we find ourselves in an unfamiliar situation, we look to others to figure out how to behave. And we do it unconsciously. You can use social matching to get people to do what you want them to do. This is a very easy and effective method - all you have to do is let them know how many people are already doing just that.

If you want a person to quit smoking, tell him how many smokers in this program (in this country, in a specific time frame, using this method) got rid of a bad habit. If you want people to buy a certain product, talk about how many copies have already been sold. If you would like to raise donations, tell us how many philanthropists have already made charitable contributions. Obviously, this only works if there are a significant number of people who have already done what you need.

Impact on energy consumers by comparison with neighbors
Some energy companies are using the powerful force of social compliance to get people to save energy. They send energy consumption charts to their customers so that everyone can compare their consumption with their neighbors. If a customer uses less energy than the average for the area, a smiley face is displayed on their graph. Initially, they used a frown emoticon if a customer's consumption was above average. But, after receiving a lot of complaints, they began to use only smiley emoji - one or two (if the client saved a lot of electricity) or did not draw a smiley at all if the level of consumption of the client meets or exceeds the average. As a result, the company's customers, having the opportunity to compare their level of consumption with their neighbors, saved more and more energy.

I once attended an open day at a college. One of the administrators informed the applicants and their parents that over the past three years, the dorms on campus had violated the ban on alcohol more than 200 times. That is - attention! – directly pointed out that there are problems associated with the use of alcohol on their campus. Then he began to talk about the measures that are being taken to solve the problem, but he had already made a fatal mistake. He had just informed 300 applicants that many of the students in this college drink alcohol. It is likely that this statement only exacerbated the situation.

Before you formulate your arguments for why people should do what you want them to do, analyze and stock up on data about how many people are already doing it.

Strategies
Strategy 3: To get people to do something, show them that others are already doing it.

Make sure the request is from the right person

You are attending a charity event. At some point, the speaker says short speech and asks everyone present to make a donation.

Which of the following statements is correct:

a) you are more likely to donate money if the speaker is about your age and similarly dressed;

b) you are more likely to donate money if the speaker looks attractive;

c) you are more likely to donate money if the speaker looks different from you;

d) neither the attractiveness of the speaker nor his resemblance to you will affect your decision to donate money;

e) both options - b and c;

e) both options - a and b.

The correct answer is f. You are more likely to part with money if the person who asked you is close to you in age and style of dress, and if you find him attractive.

You might be thinking, “Well, maybe other people do have such superficial considerations, but not me.” However, in fact, we all meet the other by clothes. And our decision to speak, listen, trust and comply with requests, of course, depends on our assessment of the similarity and attractiveness of the interlocutor. Sometimes all it takes to get people to do something is to have the right person make the request.

The brain reacts in a special way to people you know.

Your friend David is asking you to donate $10,000 to a charity he is running. Would you agree to sponsor him? What if a friend of David's whom you don't know personally collects the money? But what if with a similar request to you will be addressed completely stranger? Will it influence your decision?

What if your cousin Frank comes to you with a similar request? And if you and him are complete opposites and each family event, which you both are present, ends with your quarrel? Are you more or less likely to sponsor Frank's project?

Let's say you're a member of a cycling club. What will you do if another member of your club asks you for sponsorship? You don't know this person, but you have with him common interests.

How does the difference in relationships with people affect our desire to do what they want us to do?

Fenna Krainen, in her research, tried to identify differences in the reaction human brain on familiar people and people not familiar, but having similar interests. She found that when people thought about their friends or relatives, their middle prefrontal cortex activated in their brains, even if they had little in common. The middle prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that is responsible for perceiving values and regulating social behavior. When the subjects thought about people they did not know, with whom they had common interests (or were similar), the middle prefrontal cortex was not activated.

It seems that our brain reacts in a special way to the people we know. People are more likely to do what is asked of them if the request comes from someone they know, whether or not they have a disagreement with the requester.

Similarity builds relationships

We get along more easily with those who we think are like us, or with those who we think share our ideas or values. This is true even for clothes. We like people who dress like us.

We evaluate similarity very quickly without realizing it right away. In Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Unconscious, Professor Timothy Wilson talks about the processing that goes on in a part of the brain called the "ancient brain" or "reptilian brain" because it formed the earliest. In this part, we are similar to mammals and even, in fact, to reptiles and amphibians.

The "reptilian brain" controls the environment and monitors dangers. It is not directly connected to the part of the brain that is responsible for consciousness and thinking (the neocortex, the "new" brain, so called because it was formed relatively recently). Thus, in the process of processing information and making decisions, much passes by our consciousness.

Our “assessment” of other people is one such procedure. Based on a quick assessment of the situation, environment and nearby people, the "reptilian brain" makes sure we are safe. He decides whether we should run away, have sex or eat something! It sounds crude and primitive, but that is exactly what our "ancient" brain is like: crude and primitive.

When making a decision, the brain processes a huge amount of information in a fraction of a second. To achieve this performance, the reptilian brain makes many simplifications and makes rather crude generalizations.

Let's return to the charity event described at the beginning of the section. Your “reptilian brain” will evaluate the speaker who has applied to us with a request. If he looks like you, then the reptilian brain (unconsciously) will conclude that you are safe and do not need to run away. It will also send a signal to the part of the brain where emotions are processed that you can trust this person.

After the "ancient" brain has finished its part of the work, you will either continue to listen to the speaker, or leave the hall, or completely immerse yourself in your own thoughts.

People are more likely to listen to attractive people and trust them.

Attractive people look smarter, more generous, kinder, and more intelligent in our eyes. We form these judgments unconsciously. Nice people are more likely to get help, they are more persuasive when they need to change someone's mind. The Reptilian Brain is constantly evaluating the attractiveness of those you interact with. If he finds the person you are talking to attractive, then you will listen more carefully and take more confidence in his words.

mathematical expression attractiveness
As part of research led by Hatice Gunesh, scientists have measured various parameters human faces: the distance from the top of the eyes to the bottom of the chin, from the top of the eyes to the bottom of the nose, etc. They then compared the measurement data with people's opinions about the attractiveness of the studied faces. It turned out that the majority of respondents agreed on the degree of attractiveness of a particular person and that these assessments were consistent with well-defined proportions of the person being evaluated.

Of course, the assessment of attractiveness depends on cultural norms and factors such as clothing and hairstyle. But it seems that there is a certain mathematical basis for inferring whether a particular person is attractive, applicable in different cultures.

Michael Efran and I. Patterson, after analyzing the results of elections held in Canada, found that attractive candidates received more than 2.5 times more votes. At the same time, 73% of voters said that the external attractiveness of the candidates did not influence their choice in any way.

According to a study by Shelley Chaiken, likable people are more successful at getting others to agree with their opinions. But one explanation for this fact was that attractiveness and confidence are interrelated. The more attractive a person, the more confidently and convincingly he makes a presentation, conducts a conversation, asks for something. And, therefore, the likelihood that people will agree to do what is asked increases.

If you combine the attractiveness of a person with sexual overtones, it will look even more convincing. We will talk about this in the chapter on instincts.

No matter how “mathically attractive” your face is, you can use clothing, posture, confident speech, and facial expressions to make you look prettier. Or you can order attractive person statement of your request.

Debt good turn deserves another

In the United States, it is customary to send out greeting cards for any appropriate occasion. Once, among others, I congratulated fellow consultants. One of them - let's call him John - worked with us for only a few months. I knew him with a hat, but I sent a postcard anyway. He answered the same. Shortly thereafter, he left the company and I never saw him again.

However, over the years, John sent me postcards and photographs and told me how he was doing. Willy-nilly, I answered. Our correspondence continued for more than fifteen years, although I personally communicated with this person only a short time, and then at work.

When we give something to a person (even if it's just greeting card) or do him a favor, he feels obligated and wants to give us a return gift or provide a service; perhaps for the sake of appearances, but mostly to pay off a debt. It's in to a large extent unconscious and pretty strong feeling- a feeling of reciprocity.

It is believed that the exchange of gifts and favors developed in human society because it was useful for the survival of the species. When one person gave something to another (food, housing, money, a gift or a service), a kind of debt relationship arose. If the donor himself subsequently felt a need for something, he “asked for” a reciprocal favor. Such a relationship mechanism promoted the development of cooperation between the people that make up the group, and this cooperation allowed the group to grow and support each other. According to D. Heinrich, observance of the principle of reciprocity can be traced in all cultures.

You can use the principle of reciprocity to get people to do what you want. If you give a person a gift, and after a while ask him to do something for you, he will most likely agree.

How to double your fundraiser
Robert Cialdini has been studying reciprocity. He made a mass mailing request for donations to a group of American veterans. at first average response was 18%. But when the envelopes began to include the name of the recipient, the number of donations almost doubled. Even this small gift, like a personalized postal sticker, evoked a sense of reciprocity in the recipients.

Gifts don't have to be the same price.

If you treat me to a delicious dinner at a restaurant and pay the bill, I will feel indebted to you. I want to repay you in return. But I can't afford to invite you to the same or more expensive place. Important point: the cost of a return gift or favor is quite maybe vary.

Quite often, to make an exchange of pleasantries, it is enough to treat a person with a cup of coffee. Money should not be involved at all this process. I can repay my debt by doing something for you.

Reciprocity through the eyes of the debtor

A sense of obligation comes from a person who is indebted to you. Doing me a favor makes you feel great. I, in turn, feel embarrassed and strive to get rid of the position of the debtor. Whether the value of a return gift or service corresponds to the size of the existing obligation is determined by the debtor himself, based on his own ideas.

Strategies
Strategy 5: Before you try to get people to do something for you, do something for them so they feel the need to love you back.

Make people say no

Why do I want to force someone to refuse my request? Imagine that you are speaking at the school council. A group of parents who want a new one in the school yard playground, has authorized you to approach the board members and ask for $2,000 to equip it.

During the speech, you, to the amazement of the parents delegating you, ask for not 2000, but 5000 dollars. The school board members say, "No, no, we can't spend that much on playground equipment." You make a disappointed face and after a pause say, “Well, we have a more modest project, for $2,000.” You are asked to show it, and you leave the meeting, taking with you the approved project for the required $ 2,000.

What happened at the council is called a concession. When the board members said no and you accepted that answer, you gave them a gift. As a result, they are indebted to you. When you offered them a different plan, they wanted to pay you back by agreeing to a cheaper option.

This tactic is sometimes referred to as “rejection followed by concession.” The initiator asks obviously more than what the interlocutor can agree to. Having been refused, he asks for another service, more reasonable, and receives exactly what he originally planned.

The concession also affects the obligation

In the course of his research, Robert Cialdini stopped passers-by on the street and asked them to act as escorts for a group of difficult teenagers during a trip to the zoo. Only 17% of people answered this request with consent.

On another occasion, he first requested permission to work two hours a week as social educator for at least two years (too big a request). All refused. But when, after that, Cialdini asked them to accompany the teenagers on a day trip to the zoo, 50% agreed - three times more than in the first part of the experiment (17%). This is how concession works.

Cialdini also discovered an interesting side effect. 85% of those who were approached using the concession really wanted to keep their promise. Among those who did not pass through the concession, there were only 50% of them. Thus, the concession approach not only makes people agree to the request, but also increases their readiness for real action.

The difference between the requested and actual goal
For a concession to be effective, the first request must be beyond the capacity of the interlocutor, but still within reason. If the first request looks completely wild, then the subsequent concession (the second request) will not work. In addition, the second request should look "fair".

Strategies
Strategy 6: Ask for more than you really want. If you get rejected, ask for what you really need.

Use of imitation

If you bend over the baby and stick out your tongue, the baby will do the same, even if he is only a month old. What does this have to do with getting people to do what needs to be done, you ask? This is an example of the innate ability to imitate built into our brain. Recent brain research shows how this happens.

The front of the brain has an area called the premotor cortex. It's not the part that gets the signals to make you move, it's called the primary motor cortex. And the premotor cortex plans traffic.

Let's say you have ice cream in your hands. You notice that it is melting, and you think that you should lick off the part that is already ready to drip onto your shirt. If you were hooked up to an MRI machine, you could see a glow in your premotor cortex the moment you thought you were going to lick a drop, and then the glow would move to your primary motor cortex when you start bringing ice cream to your mouth.

Now the fun begins. Let's say your friend is holding the melting ice cream. You see that it starts to drip. If you then simply watch your friend raise his hand and lick off the melted ice cream, neurons are also firing in your premotor cortex. That is, even when you observe other people's actions, some of the same neurons in your brain are activated that were activated in the event of your own actions. This subset of neurons has already been dubbed "mirror neurons."

According to the latest theories, they are also responsible for our ability to empathize. Thanks to the work of mirror neurons, we literally experience what others are experiencing, and this allows us to understand how they feel.

Behavior Modeling
One way to get people to do the right thing is to model behavior. A friend told me how she taught her roommate to clean: talking with her about something, she began to put things in order in the room. Then she handed things to her, indicating with a gesture or a movement of her head where they should be put away. As a result, the neighbor began to imitate her behavior and eventually joined the cleaning.

Strategies
Strategy 7: To get people to do something, make sure you do it yourself (then they will imitate you).

Body language for rapport

Watch how two people are talking. If you are attentive, you will notice that gradually they begin to imitate the movements of the interlocutor. If one of them leans, then the other changes the position of his body. If one touches his face, the other does the same.

Tanya Chartrand asked the subjects to sit down and talk to another person (in this case, the interlocutor was in fact a “decoy” participant in the experiment, but the subjects did not know about it). During the conversation, decoy interlocutors had to make various movements and gestures in a certain order. One of them had to smile often, another to touch his face, and the third to shake his leg. As a result, the subjects began to unconsciously imitate the actions of their interlocutors. At the same time, some actions were repeated more often than others. So, the frequency of touching the face increased by 20%, and swaying the leg - by 50%.

In another experiment, Chartrand and her colleague John Barg divided participants into two groups:

– In the first group, decoy interlocutors imitated the movements of the subjects during the conversation.

- In the second group, decoy interlocutors did not repeat the movements of the subjects.

At the end of the conversation, the subjects were asked to rate how much they liked their interlocutor and how good, in their opinion, the contact was established. In the group where the decoy interlocutor imitated the actions of the subject, the scores turned out to be higher than in the second group, where there was no imitation.

We said earlier that when people feel similar to you, they are more easily persuaded. If you are trying to get people to do something, you should imitate their movements and facial expressions during a conversation. This will allow you to establish contact, let the person feel that you are similar and act in the same way.

All this increases the likelihood that people will do what you need.

Strategies
Strategy 8: To establish contact, imitate the body position and gestures of your interlocutor. This allows you to strengthen the bond between you and increases the likelihood that the person will do what you want them to do.

People will imitate your feelings

It's not just your facial expressions and body language that convey information and affect how people react to you and your words. It can also be feelings. They are able to be transmitted to other people and make them behave in a certain way.

Have you ever watched the reaction of a person who watches a movie or TV show or listens carefully to a story? Then you probably noticed that it, like in a mirror, reflects the emotions and even the movements of the one he listens to or looks at.

Emotions are contagious
Emotions can spread among people just like a cold or the flu, perhaps even much faster. If you combine social conformity, imitation and mimicry, which we have already discussed, you will begin to understand how emotions can be seen, identified and reproduced by other people.

Helen Hatfield explored the theory of " emotional contagion» . Some highly emotional message or idea spreads within the group like a virus.

People imitate what they see. If you smile, the people around you will also smile. If you look energetic, they become energized too. This means that when you intend to get someone to do something, pay attention to your body language, voice and emotional attitude To a question. Your thoughts and feelings, whatever they may be, will be conveyed through your words, tone of voice and body language and perceived by your interlocutor.

Strategies
Strategy 9: To get people to do something, show that you are passionate about it.

Viral spread

You probably already figured out that in order to get someone to do something, you need to understand the motives of this behavior. specific person(or groups) and spend some time on individual work with him.

But what if you need to get many people to do something at once, for example, hundreds or thousands? Is there any scientific advice on this?

Answer: yes!

One way to get a lot of people to do what you want is to "viralize" your idea. The Urban Dictionary defines it as "a rapidly spreading image, video, or link passed from one person to another." An idea propagated in this way is imbued with the power of social conformity we spoke of earlier. When your message spreads like an epidemic in society, more people feel the urge to join the process and do what everyone else is doing.

Gestures have cultural differences
A few years ago I gave a talk at a conference in Lisbon. It was my first time there and I was instantly captivated by the custard cakes that Lisbon is famous for.

One morning I went into a candy store and ordered two cakes. I did this by holding up two fingers, a gesture that in the United States can be interpreted as "victory" or "peace." However, the man behind the counter put three cakes in the box. Later I found out that in order to make it clear that I needed two pieces, I had to show him a large and index fingers. Even though my thumb was not protruding, the man behind the counter thought I was showing him the number three. It’s good that I didn’t run into more serious problems because of this than an extra cake. Many of the gestures we use are not universal. If you have a conversation with foreigners or speakers of a different culture, take the trouble to find out what gestures can be interpreted by them incorrectly or not understood at all. An innocent gesture can be extremely offensive to them.

Actively waving your arms beyond the contours of your body is acceptable when you are talking about something special, such as an upcoming company reorganization. But if you constantly act like a windmill, listeners will think that you have lost control of yourself.

Strategies
Strategy 17: To be persuasive, your gestures must match what you are saying.

Your face and eyes can talk too

The fusiform region of the brain is responsible for recognizing human faces. facial area. It is located in the part of the brain responsible for emotions. Your face conveys important emotional information to your interlocutors. Facial expressions and eye movements can affect the perception of your words.

Unconscious facial expressions

Have you ever tried to closely watch the announcers reading the news on television? There is always a slight smile on their face, even if the news is so-so. The ability to control your face, brought to automatism, comes with long practice.

Try to execute next exercise: prepare a few phrases for a conversation in which you are going to ask someone to do something for you. Learn these phrases by heart. Now stand in front of a mirror and say them as if you were talking to the right person. If you are not telling a joke at the same time, then most likely you will see a rather gloomy type in the mirror.

We often forget that our face reflects our emotions against our will. The moment you ask people to do something, your brain may be working hard, in which case your look will be too serious. Or, perhaps, you will start to get nervous, and it will be immediately visible in the eyes. Your counterpart will naturally react to the expression on your face.

Keep in mind that frequent blinking can be a sign of nervousness. Blinking can tell the interlocutor that you feel uncomfortable. In addition, this can be interpreted as a sign that speaks of external attractiveness who you are looking at.

- Direct eye contact during a conversation means that you are interested and you are listening carefully to the interlocutor. However, too gaze in the eyes can be interpreted by them as a threat.

- A “running” look tells the interlocutor that you are nervous or lying.

- Biting your lips conveys your anxiety, insecurity and fear.

– Wide-open eyes and slightly raised eyebrows show your concentration and interest.

Strategies
Strategy 18: Your words will sound more convincing if you speak them with a slight smile looking into the eyes of the interlocutor.

The value of voice tone

Recall a visit to a country whose language you did not know. Surely you were surprised that, without understanding a word in a conversation local residents, yet got an idea of the feelings that the speakers possessed. There is a special branch of paralinguistics that studies vocal communication separately from the meanings of spoken words.

Just think how different it is to say: New team will work wonderfully ”- with great enthusiasm, with sarcasm, with boredom in his voice. That, how you speak carries no less, and sometimes more information, than the words you utter. Here are some things to watch out for:

- Change the volume and tone of your voice should match the content of the speech. If you're excited or passionate about an idea, communicate your passion to your audience by raising your voice a little, speaking a little faster and with more intonation than you normally would.

- Speak loud enough. Speech that is too quiet demonstrates the timidity or nervousness of the speaker.

- Speak every word clearly. Pay Special attention at the end of words and phrases. It is their people, as a rule, "swallow". Proper articulation communicates your confidence and demonstrates power.

– Think about correct use pauses. Nervous, you will speak faster and faster. Take breaks before and after important announcements and also before the question. Your silence can be as meaningful as your words.

Strategies
Strategy 19: To encourage a person to do something, address him energetically, with enthusiasm.

They really meet by clothes

The validity of the expression "meet by clothes" is confirmed by serious research.

Monroe Lefkowitz, Robert Blake, and Jane Mouton conducted an experiment by crossing city streets at a stop signal. In those cases when the intruder was dressed in a suit, three and a half times more people rushed after him than behind a “hard worker” dressed in a simple shirt and trousers. Business suits confer authority.

As part of Leonard Beekman's study, an experimenter stopped passers-by and said, pointing to a colleague who was standing a little further down the road: “See this guy next to the parking machine? He exceeded the parking time, but he cannot pay, he has no change. Give him ten cents!” And then he left.

If the experimenter was wearing a uniform, such as a military uniform, then most passers-by gave money to the unlucky driver at the parking machine. If he wore everyday street clothes, then the order was carried out by less than half.

You have to take the time to choose proper clothes. Be guided by the following consideration: to appear authoritative, you must be dressed at least one level more formally than those to whom you are addressing. If you need to look like "your boyfriend", dress like your audience.

Strategies
Strategy 20: To get people to do what you want, you must dress either the same as them or a level "stricter" than them (this will emphasize your higher status).

How to become a leader in a few seconds

Cameron Anderson and Gavin Kilduff studied group decision making. They formed several groups of students of four people each and asked them to solve math problems from the GMAT test. The use of standardized tasks helped the researchers evaluate how well the group performed on the task. It also allowed each member of the group to be compared with their math scores on the college entrance SAT test.

The researchers filmed the discussions that took place within the group in the course of solving problems. After that, several observers were asked to review the notes and draw a conclusion about who was the leader of each group. Group members were given the same task. The leaders were chosen unanimously.

Anderson and Kilduff set out to find out why the leaders were the way they were. Prior to the start of the experiment, all participants were tested for the ability to dominate. As you probably guessed, the students who were later recognized as leaders of the groups scored the highest scores. But this did not satisfy the researchers. Maybe they had best grades mathematics? No. Or did they intimidate the rest of the group, which allowed them to break into the lead? Also no.

The resulting explanation surprised scientists: during the discussions, the future leaders of the groups simply ... started to speak first. In 94% of cases, the final answer of the group coincided with the first of the proposed ones, and the students with a more pronounced tendency to dominate were the first to answer.

People tend to listen to the leader and do what he suggests. If you want people to do what you want, start talking before others.

Strategies
Strategy 21: Speak first and be recognized as a leader. Then it will be easier for you to get people to do what you need.

habits

Whether you realize it or not, you do most of your daily activities out of habit. Habits are automatic and unconscious things. You regularly perform certain rituals in the same way.

Perhaps you have tried to get rid of some habits or acquire new ones, but have failed. Was it difficult for you to start running in the morning or quit smoking? If your answer is yes, you might be surprised at my suggestion that you use habits to get people to do what you want them to do.

If you understand how they are formed, then make sure that it is quite easy to form new habits and change existing ones.

We perform habitual actions automatically. If you can get people to form a new habit of doing what you want them to do, then chances are they will automatically repeat the desired action for a long time to come. You don't need to motivate them.

And if you know someone's habits, you can add a new one to one of the existing ones.

The Science of Habits

Aaker J., Smith E. Dragonfly effect. All about awesome promo campaigns in in social networks. Moscow: United Press, 2011. Note. ed.

SAT and ACT are standardized tests competing in the United States used to assess the knowledge of applicants for admission to American higher education. educational establishments. Unlike the Unified State Examination, one test assesses knowledge in several subjects at once. Note. per.

The best textbook on body language is Carol Kinsey Goman's The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help - or Hurt - How You Lead. Note. ed.

A standardized test for admission to graduate business school. Note. per.

Duhigg C. Force of habit. Why do we live and work this way and not otherwise. Moscow: Career Press, 2012. Note. ed.

Susan Weinshenk Laws of Influence. How to get people to do what you want

This book is well complemented by:

Introduction

Chapter 1 Seven motivators

Need for belonging

habits

The power of stories

The stick and stick method

instincts

Pursuit of excellence

Mind games

Too insidious?

Chapter 2 Need for belonging

When people feel they belong, they perform better.

Strategies

Use nouns, not verbs

Strategies

Use the power of someone else's opinion

Impact on energy consumers by comparison with neighbors

Strategies

This book is well complemented by:

Introduction

Need for belonging

habits

The power of stories

The stick and stick method

instincts

Pursuit of excellence

Mind games

Too insidious?

When people feel they belong, they perform better.

Strategies

Use nouns, not verbs

Strategies

Use the power of someone else's opinion

Impact on energy consumers by comparison with neighbors

Strategies

Make sure the request is from the right person

The brain reacts in a special way to people you know.

Similarity builds relationships

People are more likely to listen to attractive people and trust them.

mathematical expression attractiveness

Debt good turn deserves another

How to double your fundraiser

Gifts don't have to be the same price.

Reciprocity through the eyes of the debtor

Strategies

Make people say no

The concession also affects the obligation

The difference between the requested and actual goal

Strategies

Use of imitation

Behavior Modeling

Strategies

Body language for rapport

Strategies

People will imitate your feelings

Emotions are contagious

Strategies

Viral spread

Gestures have cultural differences

Strategies

Your face and eyes can talk too

Unconscious facial expressions

Strategies

The value of voice tone

Strategies

They really meet by clothes

Strategies

How to become a leader in a few seconds

Strategies

The Science of Habits

Susan Weinshenk
Laws of Influence. How to get people to do what you want

Chapter 1
Seven motivators

Chapter 2
Need for belonging