How to get rid of love dependent on his wife. Causes of love addiction. Symptoms of dependence on love relationships

How to get rid of love dependency - why does she appear?

Forms dependency on love

- Forms of dependence on love
- separate forms of love affection
- Cause of cardiac dependence
- Symptoms of subaneren feelings
- the difference between love against dependence
- How to cure from love dependence. Tips of psychologists
- methods of getting rid of the dependent position
- Exercises that will help cure love dependence
- Conclusion

Love addiction - This is a strong passion, dependence on a person. Love addiction is not a type of love. It is one of the types of television addiction, the same as dependence on drugs, alcohol, virtual ghosts or slot machines.

Despite this, many people take addiction for love. And they sincerely believe that the pain is a property of love, although in fact this property of dependence. Actually, this is one of the main difficulties in the treatment of love dependence: so far, a person perceives his mental pain as a manifestation of his love, he does not want to get rid of it. Because true love is suffering!

There are several forms of love dependency:

1. Loss of own personality and the desire to preserve attachment through the replacement of its psychological territory of the partner.

Often, co-dependent refuses friends, its interests, goals and begins to live the life of a meaningful other. "I `m nothing without you". The partner is placed in the position of the parent, co-dependent - to the role of a child at an early stage of life, when he completely depends on the mother. "I am part of you." Masochistic trends can be implemented here.

2. Capturing the individuality of the partner and his personal borders, his psychological territory.

Code-dependent itself becomes in the position of the parent and from this is born behavior characterized by super-control. An example of such a dependence may be obsessive jealousy. The partner does not recognize the right to self-determination and personal elections. Code dependent seeks to preserve attachment through the desire to implement "perfect care", to become indispensable.

3. Aggressive destruction of the psychological territory of the partner.

"You are just part of me." Sadistic tendencies can be implemented here. Through the destruction and total suppression of the individuality of the partner, co-dependent seeks to fill the emptiness of its ego, spread its borders beyond the limits of itself.

Capped people have difficulties in order to recognize the availability of dependence and often prefer to hold their idea of \u200b\u200bwhat love is. And she is equal to suffering.

Of course, love dependence is a complex, holistic state of a person who covers all areas of its livelihoods.

- separate forms of love affection

However, for clarifying the process, separate forms of love dependences can be distinguished, which can be dominated and not particularly pronounced:

1. Sexual dependence.
As a rule, dominates in love dependence, because it is based on the main instinct.

The mechanism of action of sexual dependence is based on the powerful allocation of sex hormones on the beloved person. Moreover, not only when it is physically there, but also when you memorize it, and his imagination.

2. Mental dependence.
It is determined by the fact that in the psyche of a person in love with a dominant center of mental excitement to everything that is connected with his beloved person. Everything else in life is put on second place or simply ignored.

"If only to be with your loved one, if only him (her) was good."- and the like thoughts.

As a rule, a strong love dependence causes a temporary or long-lasting inadequacy of the psyche of in love.

3. Personal dependence.
Love addiction can be so strong, which affects the properties of the person. Personality focused on his beloved and relationship with him is literally deformed, often, beyond recognition.

As a rule, the level of personality adequacy is more or less real perception of reality, drops sharply. Personality begins to look at the world through "pink glasses" illusions of love.

4. Beneficial dependence.
If the love relationship continues for a while, it is formed and such a form of love dependence, as behavioral habits and stereotypes.

That is, a loved person gets used to to be and live with her beloved, sometimes considering that such a life is the only possible.

Although, it often happens that this life is not only not happy, but also dramatic and problematic. The case when they say: together is impossible, apart - unbearably.

- Cause of cardiac dependence

Most often, loving addicts are subject to people who have understood self-esteem, those who in childhood suffered love and warmth in the family, or those whom the parents were too strictly controlled. All suffering from this form of addiction combines one - they do not know how or do not want to love themselves.

Again, in childhood, some negative programs are laid in child and public opinion: "Love is suffering," "beats, it means, loves." The attachment arises to such a person who brings suffering, keeps in tension, which is unpredictable, in one word, plays with you.

Lovely dependent person seeks a certain ideal relationship that he lacked in childhood.

The child could be afraid that he was thrown when his parents went to the store, because he did not explain that they left for a while and would definitely return. If parents considered themselves victims of circumstances, they themselves were dependent - from love, alcohol, from anything, they could not teach children to be responsible for their lives.

In other cases, parents simply did not give us enough love and caress, and now we spend all the strength to fill this lack of love.

- Symptoms of subaneren feelings

At the beginning of love dependence, there is always a period of mutual bright feelings. The first signal to the fact that you are on the threshold of love dependency are sudden changes in the behavior of a partner, that is, you begin to feel that he cooled to you, and even completely disappeared.

If the relationship continues in the same spirit, you gradually fall into dependence on the partner, that is, your mood, the emotional state from this point on only depends on it.

Most often, we become obsessive, we show excessive activity, call the partner, track each of his step, which cannot but annoy it. Of course, he will begin to avoid obsessive attention, and we completely lose their mind.

But most often, if the "favorite" returns and even respond to reciprocity, then after some time, he will bother you. That is, the object of love is needed until he is in place, because the love dependence is not from a real person, but from the invented ideal.

As soon as the relationship is included in the normal course, and begins at the site of the dream to manifest a reality, then, as a rule, there is a disappointment leading to the fact that love passes. This is a sign of love dependence, illusory love.

- the difference between love against dependence

Love is developing in stages. First, interest in person, then love, recognition of each other, the awakening of passion, and gradually all this is formed into the feeling where the main thing is tenderness and trust. Lovers as if together float in the stream of love. They are the best for each other. And no matter what they really are.

But the main thing - love is always mutual. She is not unrequited. If unrequited, then this is an addiction. Love is developing the identities of lovers. What positively affects the career, study and relationships with other people.

The dependence flashes immediately and very brightly. The dependent does not trust the beloved. He is afraid that he will throw him. All on the nerves, on suffering. At the same time, the dependent evil is noticed by the disadvantages of his beloved person.

And generally a little angry at him. But she strives for him with all their might. To give it all. I am ready to sacrifice yourself, if only he appreciated and gave a look. Love addiction, by the way, is also sometimes mutual: when both are dependent on each other. And one day they begin to hate each other for this non-vitality.

Lovely dependence isolating the soul and prevents normal to live normally. There are, of course, those who are easier to suffer and blame in the whole person who caused this feeling. But this is already pathology. From love addiction to get rid of.

Sometimes it is enough to talk to a specialist once, and love will disappear.

It is quite possible, by the way, that you yourself will handle this trouble. After all, one recognition is that this is not love, but addiction is enough to ensure that the recovery begins.

The next important step is.

Not just the strengthening of its tactical and technical characteristics like appearance, career growth and education. It must be done in parallel. Care in self-improvement is a great way to distract from addiction. It is necessary to realize its value. Redirect the energy of love from another person on yourself.

- methods of getting rid of the dependent position

Method Lope de Vega.

In one of the plays of the great Spanish playwright there are words: "If you are too taked on women, look for shortcomings in the charms." You can use this recommendation and mentally easily any advantages of your favorite person to turn into flaws.

Favorite girl is not a transcription and knows how to save? Nonsense! She is just a scaway! Your boyfriend is a good lover? So, he raises his skills somewhere and additionally "trains." Yes, somewhat cynical, but what is the result!

Pasteur method.

If you suffer from unrequited love, try to be interested in someone else. As soon as you feel that you have an interest in this person, immediately dispel this attachment and switch to someone else. Having done this several times, you will receive the "medicine" you need. But caution should be taken, so as not to fall in love with the new one.

Deromantization method.

Sometimes it is enough to save the unfortunate in love with the romantic perception of the world, as love passes with him. You will be helped with conversations with people, but approving love at all. They can be found on the Internet. Such support may be quite effective.

If it does not help, then for romantic nature, the best medicine is physical work, go to some work where you need to "plow." The situation at such work and physical fatigue in the first month will help you permanently remove pink glasses.

Freud's Sigmund method.

Take care of creativity! Write a Bestseller Roman, a stunning opera or a brilliant picture. Express your feelings in creativity, because the masterpieces are created!

- Exercises that will help cure love dependence

Fancy exercises will help to get rid of addiction.

"I love myself".
Arrange the days of love for yourself. You put all your favorite, go to your favorite park, restaurant, order your favorite dishes. In general, in every way yourself.

"Farewell, Liliput."
The purpose of this classes is to reduce the importance of the object of passion. Sewing the disadvantages of "beloved", its weaknesses (you can even come up with). And constantly ask yourself a question like you, such / oh oh ohm, can depend on such an imperfect creature? It is important to become a certain Gulliver compared to those you depend on. And nothing will remain, how to say goodbye to him.

"Laughter for no reason."
Scientists have installed: if you make yourself laugh, smile and show external signs of joy, then soon you begin to really enjoy life.

"Movement is life."
A prominent psychologist Mirzakarim Norbekov writes in his books that somehow in search of enlightenment and wisdom of centuries he came to one far Buddhist monastery. And there it was forced to walk 40 days on foot and smile. And soon he gained enlightenment and cleared.

The fact is that at the chemical level, walking is developing extremely positive on the body. Positive neurotransmitters of good mood are distinguished into the blood, which, as if cleaned the hormones of sadness, pain and other dirtyness. In general, the main thing is not to be depressed and move more.

"Survive the loss."
If it is completely bad - the legs do not go, the smile does not work, - you need to arrange a farewell evening. Welcome candles, turn on sad songs, pour wine and run away from the soul over your love. And at the same time talk to yourself: goodbye, big and bright feeling! To go, as the actress Olga Drozdova says about this situation, to the bottom of sadness and lie down there, curling into the ball.

But it is important to give yourself a setting of the next morning to dig up completely from the pool of this "love". Be sure to convince you that you are waiting for something magical. And if this story did not take place, it means that fate prepared you some more amazing and nice gift.

- Conclusion

Lovely dependent man strives for the object of his passion, completely forgetting about himself. Such a person is often not able to even take care of himself: does not eat, not sleeping, does not watch his health.

All his attention, thoughts and feelings are focused on a partner, everything else is meaningless and boring. He spends all his vital energy on him. But it delivers only suffering.

To get rid of love addiction, first of all, you should get rid of the feeling of love or love, if it came so far. This can be done independently, possessing sufficient imagination and the power of will. However, in particularly severe cases, it is still necessary to contact a specialist.

Material prepared diolea specifically for the site

Do you think I met not just a "your" man, and a person, without which you can not live? Do you want to be together all the time so that he did not leave anywhere? Are you jealous of it absolutely to everyone, even to those girls who do not imagine real threats?

It happens that you feel inside yourself a sparkling avalanche of happiness, and after half an hour in the soul of a universal scale tragedy? Most likely your diagnosis is a love dependence, because all signs on the face. This is bad. You should reconsider your attitude towards a man and deal with how to overcome a love dependence.

Do you know what it ends? It leads not only to the destruction of relations, but also capable of bringing you to depression for a long time. Understand that no one can live under constant control and total adoration from its chosen one - it is too far. It is not too late until you are together, think how to overcome a love dependence on a man, and change your behavior!

Goatober side of love

Love addiction, jealousy ... Psychology claims that our fears and complexes are hidden behind these words, but not love. When you truly love a person, you respect his right to personal space, do not require a permanent location report and relate to his employment.

What if you found this psychological ailment? How to overcome it without treatment at the psychotherapist? How to learn to overcome the gusts to call and write it hourly? Often the reason for love dependence is the fear of losing your beloved and stay alone. Admit it! Stop grapted for him. Direct this energy on yourself!

Concentrate for your own purposes, hobbies, affairs and priorities. Now is the time to go to learn a foreign language or dancing, since you have so much free time to constantly think about where your beloved. Understand, giving him a little freedom, he will relax, stops feeling cured in your arms and will no longer run as soon as such an opportunity is given.

Let him see in you an interesting person, from which you can discuss something, and not an adhesive bath sheet, which is no longer able to think about anything else.

Another symptom of dependence on love is unreasonable claims and stupid resentments. Dependent women begin to cling to such trifles that an ordinary person would not have noticed at all. And they rush hysterics due to late for a bus, a broken nail or heel, offended by unsuccessful jokes. Next to these girls, a man feels uncomfortable, he is forced to constantly control his words and calm these endless attacks.

It turns out a man signs a sentence at that moment when he is recognized as his chief of love. And begins: "I want more, don't go anywhere today with my friends, do not leave for the weekend, do not leave me alone, come from work early." Sometimes she starts reminding pathology - you feel weak, constantly cry, lose your appetite, always think of him all the time. How to cope with your feelings and take yourself in hand?

First, stop angry if a man is busy and cannot meet with you. Refer to this with understanding. Enough to instill that they became unhappy, and then you will open all the delights of love. Enough suffer, start glad that you have - this is the best medicine. You have to radiate love, it is divided from the universe, because it is such a treasure that, divided, is multiplied! In love, the law is this: the more you spend, the more you get.

How to get rid of love dependency for a man? Enter every second of the free time you spend on the wait of the call. You will have time to remake all the works, cook dinner, wipe the floors, run to the manicure, with a girlfriend chat. And by the time he calls, you will not distract anything from the conversation.

If his work implies long-term business trips, then do not hide under the blanket on the sofa with wipes for wiping tears. It is better to repair the repair or permutation of furniture, go through the course of intensive workouts in the fitness club. Imagine, he comes, and you have a candy apartment and a super figure. Knowing how to defeat the love of a guy, you can establish your relationship and proud of yourself.

Current need

Some love is needed only to feel loved. This is seen in this, they say if you love, you will never be offended. Such people are recognized as a psychologist that the love of the partner heals and gives the meaning of life. This is a typical example.

Love becomes a drug. As soon as the feelings begin to weaken, "breaking" appears. And if they flared up again, the forces appear, inspiration, babysitting, fun, joy. Because of this dependence, fear appears that the drug will end, the beloved person will leave.

And this fear interferes with enjoying the present. Relationships fell in jealousy, anger, suffering. It is better to think now, how to get rid of love dependence, because then years may take years to treat such addictation.

Pay attention to the wisdom of enlightened monks. Maybe she will tell you how to remove the love dependence on a man. They say: let go, do not keep too tight, do not require too much.

Yes, there are such people who love, tenderness, care and attention are needed like air! But such a person will give in return exactly as many senses. And here you do not need to consider who and how much and how much. An equal exchange occurs, at which both are happy. But this is no longer a dependence, just such a handwriting of love. It is not necessary to treat such feelings.

The main enemies of happiness wise people always called fear, greed and ignorance. They need to get rid of them. Very often the man spoils his life with fears about what is not yet, but it can happen. Start free from these bad thoughts.

Speaking of greed, do not always mean material. It happens that a person is very generous in terms of money, but exhibits greed in relationships. My, and that's it! And this most overlaps the air to its partner, does not give and step step. Many women recognize themselves: "I miss! Which friends? Stay better with me! " Perhaps she is aware that her husband delivers inconvenience, but how to get out worthy of love dependent is not looking for. All this can not be called love, it is greed that sprouts because of jealousy and egoism.

Under ignorance means uncompatory, backwardness, blessing in relation to the surrounding people. If you feel ignorant, start citing wise people enlightened. Take an example from them, there is nothing shameful. But what is the benefit for the soul and mind.

Read books written by great philosophers and wise men. Yes, it is not easy, but learn to delve, try to understand that you are trying to convey to you. Contact the sacred scriptures. It is very sad to observe how people talk about divine love, but do not understand what it really is. This is when you feel that they are filled with strength, feel harmony and happiness inside yourself, get full satisfaction from life.

And this condition is not associated with some particular person or relationship, it depends only on ourselves. And even if some sorrow or misfortune happen, the love of the world remains. This vary love and dependence from it.

Meditation will also help gain relief from love dependency. With it, you can discover new meanings of life, awaken love for yourself and to the world around. Detach special exercises for 15 minutes every day. Take the patience, the result notice not immediately. It is necessary to meditate at least for six months to feel a positive impact on your thoughts and lifestyle. Moreover, meditation is very useful for health. You are mistaken if you think that it is meaningless and tasteless.

How to meditate correctly? Sit comfortably, close your eyes and begin to breathe deeply and focus. Forget about your affairs, think only about how important your breath is, because it gives vitality. Soothe your thoughts.

Start repeating these words: "My body is filled with love and kindness. I'm covered with peace. I'm happy". And most importantly, imagine that everyone loves you: people, sky, all nature and creator. Visualize images. You can change the phrases a little, the main thing is that they opened the warmness of kindness in your heart, tenderness and light of love. Fill with them soul and mind. Meditate regularly until you gain exemption and you will not feel the love of everything around you.

findings

• Excessive love for a person is not something that you will appreciate and love even more. It hurts you yourself. Causes are broken in complexes and fear of loneliness.
• To get rid of this ailment, you must love to put on my first place, to act in your own interests, develop your body and soul.
• Meditation. Meditating, you learn to love yourself, this world and people around people, regardless of some particular person or circumstances.

But sometimes idyll disappears, the union becomes superfluous and burdensome. The question arises how to cut the thread with a person who is impossible to forget? What if all thoughts are solid around his image? Is it really quietly suffering, not getting a chance in return for new happiness and stay dependent on their own experiences? Of course not. Any situation has solutions capable of bringing out a deadlock. So, today we will tell you how to get rid of love addiction.

How does love dependence manifest

Sometimes, after getting rid of love dependence, many noted that they were like in the fog. And it is from the part so. The person is addicted to the partner, without noticing its shortcomings. Love addiction is very similar to the action of alcohol, drugs, evil eye or damage. The person pulls to the partner so much that he can't do anything.

To cope with diseases, you need to know about its causes and symptoms. After folding everything into a single picture, it is easy to stop and stop the further spread of "disease".

The answer to the question: how to get rid of love dependence? – requires a thorough approach and analysis of information. Each story is a separate fate. It is impossible to develop a single plan. We will have to take advantage of the proposed advice and based on them to edit its version of treatment. But before discussing how addiction is manifested to be confident in its presence in your life.

Passion to be near a person, to live his problems reminds un. Personality ceases to engage in its concerns and fully dedicates all the time the object of adoration. In exchange for loyalty, he gets reproaches, suffering and pain. But it does not pushes it, but, on the contrary, it also binds. He is not able to soberly assess the current situation and in what is happening implies another test for the strength of feelings.

• The control. A person addicted to love will never release his half to another city, because it crares out to be with him every minute. It necessarily controls every step, and requires a time-missed time report.
• Jealousy, Present with the relationship - indicator of dependence. It should be checked by telephones, disassembling conversations with outsiders. The slightest attention towards the opposite sex is taken as a betrayal.
• The desire to remake partner. The partner cannot accept the fact that the person with which he likes to be, has already formed and does not require alteration. But addiction is a bad role. Permanent guards, comments continue, and will always take place in the discussion.
• Stormy emotions, tears, frequent quarrels and reconciliation - The way to manipulate another person and keep it in tension near yourself. It is easy for him at the beginning, after time, this principle of behavior begins to repel and annoy.
• Position parent. The partner consciously agrees to the role of Nyanka, ignoring its needs. He cares, cherished, performs the work of halves, follows the order and invented regime.
• Dissolution. The person dependent on love seems to be dissolved in a partner. He begins to think of his thoughts, considers the world by his eyes. Never disputes accepted, takes habits, entertainment. With friends and close to him, he has to part so that there is no extra comments on their part.
• Interest in career growth is lost. The years of study at the institute are considered to be missed and empty, work turns into the status of unnecessary fishery. Taking himself in a gray person, the dependent person becomes unclaimed society.
• The meaning of life comes down to one person. A person does not represent its existence without a partner. He is afraid of loneliness and in the head there is a venerable thought - never part.
• "Pawing" and "jamming" love problems.

Realizing signs of love dependency, you can easily get out of the created position, help yourself change your life and you will be happy.

Attention! Do not confuse disinterested love and self-sacrifice with the recklessness. A man giving warmly carefully invites you to my world filled with good and understanding. He does not impose his presence surrounding his presence, but a slightly suggests help, without being offended by refusal.

Funds and ways to get rid of love dependency

You can get rid of love dependencies, and in some, especially difficult cases even need and extremely necessary.

1. "I deserve the best!"

Psychologists are advised to engage in autotraining daily. Daily repeat about yourself phrases:

• "I am worthy of love and respect"
• "I have wonderful friends"
• "I am an excellent specialist"
• "I can provide myself"
• "I am a strong woman and handle the upcoming difficulties"

All this will help you feel confidence and will help you decide on the first step.

2. "From the eye, from the heart of Won"

In a brief conversation, inform your half that you intend to break the relationship and leave. No need to join long discussions and go into clarification. At the same time, you must be decisive and confident in your words. If you are afraid to succumb to persuade to save the relationship, it is better to break the relationship on the phone.

If you have already broken up with a guy and moved to the role of ex- not to return to the old to remove the external signs of the presence of it in your life. Destroy the items associated with a former beloved person. These are photos, toys, clothes, shoes. All that reminds of it, remove from the field of view. Distribute in need. You will have a reason to update the wardrobe, change the style of clothing, repair the apartment. Add it mail and phone number to the blacklist, so as not to succumb to the temptation to take a call, read the letter or call yourself.

3. "Time treats!"

If the exemary searches for meetings with you, then try to avoid meetings and contacts with him and common friends. Here the main thing is to understand that in a month or two and he and you will already remember it as something from the past, as if it was not. Therefore, it is important to stock patience and resistance of the Spirit. Do not respond to phone calls (you can change the number), do not go to the familiar places of rest, ignore conversations about general friends and classes. Leave the negative in the past and strip new, positive emotions.

4. "Life is short to spend it on things that do not bring pleasure"

Make a characteristic of a former partner consisting of negative qualities. Here they can be listed offensive words, perfect actions, character traits. Attach the leaflet in the prominent place and reread when you want to meet or call.

Write a farewell letter, say all that you feel. Share plans for the future, let us understand about the need for parting. Having a person from himself, with whom it becomes uncomfortable, cold, you give the opportunity to appear new meetings and unknown feelings.

5. "The first step is to want change. Step the second - to achieve them "

More feelings, memories and experiences are fresh and sick, as wounds, so to cope and do not do nonsense, returning to the old, worry your thoughts on a piece of paper. After all, nothing so does not streamline thoughts as their formulation on paper. In the literal, start with a clean leaf. Buy a beautiful notebook and on the first pages write those features and qualities that the perfect man must have for you. Come to this seriously, you do not need to write: "The figure is like Brad Pitt", take it on real qualities, for example: responsive, attentive, successful, etc.

Treatment of love addiction benefits when a person recognizes the existing entry problem and is resolutely configured to a positive result. But it should also be ready for the fact that this is a long process requiring strength, time and patience.

No need to think that life is over, that this is your take-into account or you are not lucky in life. We ourselves are doing our destiny. What we think about and dream of becoming a lot to become our life. So enough to think that you are poor and unhappy, you deserve more and better! No horoscopes and messengers of fate are not to blame for this! You need to take yourself in hand, you can even shrink on yourself and start building a new life. Life where you will appreciate, listen to you, respect your opinion. Life where you will build your day yourself, your year, your destiny.

1. If you are unable to cope yourself and you need an external push, go to a psychologist or church. In the first case, you will be listened and will help you look at yourself from the outside, help the Council, tell me where to start. In the second case, you will learn from the outside, because "Everyone who receives gets, and the seeker finds, and we will turn out."
2. Find a lesson in the shower. Redirect the raging passion for something new. Get career, study. Maximum fill in all your free time, sign up for courses, go beyond the city, ride on the helicopter, in the end, start knitting, draw, write. Remember what you were fond of youth, or maybe it was possible to try something new for a long time. Take yourself, it will not be able to think about the former and you will not notice how time will fly, and time is treated. Active life will allow you to look at the world in a new way, you may have to get acquainted with new people or build your career. Just think about how much time you spent on the nagging and tears, and this time it was possible to spend much more productive, for example, to enhance your professional skills or search for a new job, interview, etc.
3. Stop blame yourself for the past, Errors take as experience as passed axioms without the need for approval.
4. Review personal qualities. Take yourself. Build a new yourself. Do not pay attention to others, listen to yourself. Sometimes, to get the desired, you need to learn how to speak "no". If you are condemned for the break of relationship, then these love you know badly and hardly they wish you good. Only you yourself know what is better for you.
5. Try to get closer to reality, analyze the actions and the consequences arising from them. Observe what your actions led to what you were in love dependency. You may be too trusting and easily put on male courtship or women's charm, or something else. Start changing the way of thinking and live differently.

To get reliable help and understand how to cope with love dependence, it is necessary to analyze the causes of the occurrence and eradicate the disease, destroying the root.

Causes of love addiction

Causes are psychological and social.

Psychological reasons

• Childhood. People who have suffered love in childhood need attention and tenderness. It is important to understand what, and how to line up. "The unlized" children most often fall into a love dependence. Having encountered a partner and like-minded people, a man is trying to enjoy warmth, but ceases to feel a measure and either dissolve in a partner or turns into an annoying, annoying creature.
• Education. Self-sacrifice of parents is a negative example for imitation. The child, matured, embodies the family model seen in his childhood in his life. "My mother suffered all his life, apparently and my take into account such," they think.
• Self-esteem. In childhood, a low self-esteem program and loss of a sense of security - the basis of dislike for himself, the lack of respect for his own opinion. A person ceases to trust his dreams and believes only the actions of a partner.
• Position of the victim - Favorable option. Such people believe that they are not lucky in life. And do not take anything to fix it. They have no obligations, but only direct "order execution". At the same time, it is not necessary to think about the upcoming day, the tasks appear themselves and the person does not receive disappointments from reflection about the future. He lives here and now.

Social reasons

• Society. Imposing a partner's behavior by society by film, television shows, books and video from the Internet. People with a weak psyche, doubting themselves, take any someone else's experience and use without revaluation. Imitating heroes, they do not take into account reality.

Maria, sociologist : Surprisingly, the central channels, in their program, have predominantly dramatic serials that are removed by "packs" and broadcast one by one. Not surprising and the result, because the majority of the population proceeds the tragic fate of the heroes on themselves, penetrating into their troubles and find themselves in them.

• Financial addiction. Early love, immature marriage does not allow girls to get an education and build a career. Thus, they fall into financial dependence and tolerate their elect, without being able to get away from him, so as not to stay at the broken trough. If the partner provides financial stability, it is difficult to abandon the existing benefits and take the money to wear the extraction of money. Start life from scratch, without the closest perspectives - it is difficult enough and not every way.
• Fear of frustration. "And what they love to say. I will disappoint my / his parents. " A person enjoys someone else's opinion and lives according to the rules built by close people. It is afraid of changes, it seems to him that any protest perceive as a betrayal and he will forever lose their location.

Maria, sociologist : Katya and Andrei began to meet in the first year of learning Kati on legal. Kati did not have a strong connection with her parents, but Mom Andrei strongly supported the girl in difficult periods. Andrei did not distinguish the purposefulness, he was a typical guy from the area, it is characterized by antisocial behavior. Time runs. And here Katya is already in mind in law enforcement agencies. It is raised, released, she immediately receives a high position, her doubts about the future life with Andrei are gaining momentum, but she does not throw it, because Feels responsibility before his mom. And Andrei, in the meantime, goes to the contingent of Katins of customers, which she sends not so distant to the place.

How not to step on the same rake

Stretching the true problems of entering into toxic relationships will help you prevent the same error.

1. You need to accurately determine the causes of the problem (see those who are the causes).
2. Work them. Forgive your parents and accept.
3. Take up.
4. Stop.
5. Make a list of those qualities you want to find in a new partner.

In addition, you need to learn to identify the symptoms of toxic relationships to cut them on the root until they weenly flooded your life.

Symptoms of dependence on love relationships

Relief from love dependences begins from the moment of identifying symptoms. If you find the negative items listed below in your behavior, it is necessary to seriously think and start analyzing your own life.

Healthy relations	Dependence in love relationships
True love allows small partings to study, work and personal hobbies. It is quite normal, because the person is individual and he wants to go through his way, to find a special path to success.	Dissolution in the needs of the partner and the absence of personal aspirations, goals, self-development.
In a pair, everyone has a personal space that is not broken and respected.	The invasion of personal spaces, the reinforced feeling seems to be breathing. Excessive fear of losing a partner and stay alone.
Love inspires, develops man, pushes him to self-improvement.	Dependent love does not develop. Both partners or the dependent partner will "turn on the spot."
Clean feeling gives a sip of freshness, inspiration. The desire to overcome the difficulties turns into a certain excitement. Incredible forces appear, amazing affairs are committed.	With dependence, on the contrary, there are no changes. A person feels constant anxiety. The fear of losing your favorite "creature" makes jealous, arrange scandals. Quarrels arise due to any minor misdeed or expressed the word.
In open relationship you trust a partner, believe in his dedication and sincerity.	When there is a dependence, conversations are reduced to clarifying and disassembly: where he was, with whom she did what he said.
In the Trust Union there is no domination. Both partners in equal terms and opinions of both parties are taken into account.	In independence from the directions of the partner, his opinion is always finally and cannot be condemned.

Love dependence in men and women

Love dependence in men	Love dependence in women
Men are calm, and often make pain in themselves, not telling close to not look ridiculous and weak. Finding into a love dependence, they will most likely look for substitution in alcohol, on the side, etc.	Women are more emotional and temperament. They are characterized by tears, hysterics. But sometimes, not finding the exit, the woman goes into his senses and closes from the outside world.
A man with head goes to work, overcoming large physical exertion. He wants to forget and shut out what happened, to prove all his worth.	Women, falling into dependence, begin to relate to appearance without it (they eat immensely, do not care for themselves).
Serious sports are knocked out from the subconscious all the negative.	Fascination with melodramas, forums is an attempt to find missing support. But as stated above, it is better to turn to a specialist who will help to take a look at himself and tell me where to start. The surroundings of loved ones helps to recover after suffering difficulties. Trust them, accept their sympathy and advice.
New meetings are another test. After unsuccessful love relationships, a man all the time will expect trick and treason. But sometimes it is new relationships that helps a man to cope with ex-addiction.	New acquaintances give hope for reciprocity. But if the dependent relations are not worked out, then the likelihood of the same rake is great.

Video about how to overcome a love dependence.

How to get rid of love dependence and translate the relationship to another, better level.