A child steals money from parents psychologist's advice. Kleptomania is a rare disease. Psychologist's advice: what to do if a child steals and lies

08.07.2019

Often the phrase "the child steals money" is perceived by outsiders with a shudder. But if you remember yourself at a fledgling age, weren’t there such situations when you “forgot” to give change to your mother from bread or a couple of coins left on the bedside table imperceptibly pulled together? Perhaps, many did not fumble in their pockets, but such innocent tricks, most likely, will be remembered by everyone. So why does child theft from the height of parental age cause so much resentment and shame?

When a child is still at the age at which actions can be impulsive, unconscious - up to 6-7 years old, he may not fully understand the difference between his own, someone else's and the general, simply copying the behavior of adults. And if mom often tells dad, sending him to buy, they say, take the money there, this interaction scheme is stored in the child’s head as a typical one: if you need to buy something, take the money. He does not know how this money is earned, whether it is possible to take it at will or whether it is necessary to coordinate it with someone. Is it possible to reproach him for this? However, a simple explanation of where money comes from and how to handle it is indispensable. First, you should find out why the child needed them.

Sometimes a child just buys sweets for friends. Thus, he tries to win their recognition and love. In this case, you will have to explain to him that friends are not made like that, and respect is earned by other actions and qualities.

It also happens that a child feels uncomfortable in his own company if other children already have some trifle that can be spent by them at their discretion. In a family with authoritarian parents and strict rules, he may simply be afraid to ask. It is easier for him to quietly take it himself, so as not to look like a black sheep among friends and at the same time not incur parental wrath. Here it will be a little more difficult. Parents will have to admit that the baby has matured, become more interested in his life and small desires, and periodically give out small amounts of money to satisfy them.

But there are also much more unpleasant circumstances when the theft is provoked by extortion and threats from older children or more “enterprising” peers. In this case, legal measures will be needed, and the child will have to be taught to give a worthy rebuff. But the main thing in such situations is to establish, before it is too late, a trusting relationship with him, so that you do not have to learn about hidden desires and fears by such indirect signs as theft.

Stealing by older children is usually on a larger scale and may have different motives. Sometimes a child, becoming more independent, is simply forgotten and left to the mercy of fate, and then in a similar way he attracts the attention of his parents, because for him even a negative reaction is already a reaction, as opposed to complete indifference. If you show aggression or threats and leave the child alone again, he will do it again, and then repeat it out of principle and a sense of opposition. In this case, only the attention and acceptance of a teenager into his “team” will help, he should feel like a necessary part of the family, and not a makeweight.

Often theft is born out of a parent's unwillingness to understand a child's needs, which are actually much broader than food and shelter. The teenage world, where stereotypes rule, is very tough. "Rating" is assigned according to the conformity of clothing, equipment, accessories to accepted standards, which are not always clear to parents. However, at this age, the psyche of children is very vulnerable, and many endure non-recognition by society quite painfully. This is where the theft of money for the purchase of “signs of conformity” comes from, expensive parental phones and tablets are taken to school, etc. Parents should remember themselves and their feelings during these years: wasn’t it excruciatingly insulting when mom or grandmother considered the best clothes for growing up girls in leggings with fleece, while all progressive youth flaunted with might and main in nylon leggings? Did your peers laugh at the old-fashioned briefcase, carrying textbooks in their mother's worn, but "firm" bags? If you try, you will remember many such grievances. Is it worth it to win back on your child? If it is not possible to make the purchase desired by the child, you can start a piggy bank and agree that the thing will definitely be purchased in the future. Or offer to contribute there and his mite, providing all possible assistance in earning the required amount.

Weak self-regulation also causes the child to steal money. Parents need to moderate their desire to lead. This form of education leads to the fact that all the actions of the child are motivated from the outside, as the fulfillment of someone's will, and as a result, he does not acquire the ability to independently make decisions and control his actions, he remains undeveloped as a sense of motivation, and internal prohibition. Independent actions (including theft) occur uncontrollably, and only then the child can realize that this should not have been done. Such a gap is not only expressed in theft: such children, if not forced, are very reluctant to perform basic tasks, such as brushing their teeth, cleaning up after themselves, or preparing homework. If a child is used to doing everything under duress, long-term painstaking work is needed to expand his area of responsibility. You need to trust him with the solution of simple dilemmas, unobtrusively justify your own decisions for him, so that he learns to build cause-and-effect relationships.

Another prerequisite for theft may be the conversations of the parents themselves. Often in the society of children they do not follow what has been said, and the words that have flown out can be very firmly deposited in the mind of the child, like a dogma. This also applies to conversations about the material: if you periodically complain about how difficult it is now to earn a living by honest work, and how well one or another got settled, stealing from the people and feeling great at the same time, the child will have a very definite stereotype that , firstly, stealing is not bad, and secondly, parents are quite loyal to this. And the consequences of such thinking may soon be revealed quite unexpectedly.

In no case should you call him a thief, arouse in him a feeling of shame and depression, compare him with "positive" friends and generally arrange a biased trial. This can only achieve that the child will become even more withdrawn and secretive. It is important to let him know that despite his act, they love him very much, and they just want to figure out what he lacked from his parents. Perhaps they missed something or did not notice? As a rule, such conversations do not encourage people to defend themselves, but, on the contrary, encourage sincere emotions and constructive dialogue.

You should also be sympathetic to the issuance of pocket money, because not all children can tell their parents about all their needs, even if they have open relationships. It is important to understand that money itself is neutral, it is only the inability to handle it that gives it a positive or negative connotation. And to learn this, having no money, the child is unlikely to be able to. In addition, it is worth teaching a child to distinguish between his own, common and other people's things and means, so that he realizes the boundaries of property, what he can dispose of at his own discretion, and what not.

"Your child is stealing"! Such a teacher's sentence produces the effect of an exploding bomb on parents. “I am a bad teacher”, “what will others think of me if they find out”, “how embarrassing in front of the teacher”- these thoughts fly like fireworks in the head of confused adults, and the reaction is often immediate. The father takes out the belt, the mother in tears begins to appeal to the conscience of the child. And here, before parents apply radical methods of education, a teacher or psychologist should come to the rescue, who will help answer the age-old Russian question: “Who is to blame, and what to do?”

Who is guilty?

“The future of juvenile delinquents is uncertain. Decent people can still grow out of them.”- said Stanislav Jerzy Lec. However, there is one condition - the desire of parents to understand the root cause of the actions of children.

The basis for theft can be different motives, based on which, the following types of theft can be distinguished:

1. Kleptomania

Kleptomania (from gr. OS "O" OVVPRvЂљPvR‚С›OVVµО№OR ... vRvЂљ" to steal, and OSV? OVV ± OR ... ORvЂЎOVV ± vRvЂљ" madness, passion) - a painful human passion for theft. A kleptomaniac has a desire stealing comes impulsively, like an attack.For such a person, it doesn’t matter what to take, he is attracted by the very act of stealing, which relieves emotional tension and internal discomfort, and the satisfaction that he feels at the same time is akin to a drug high. absolutely not attracted, he stores them, sometimes simply forgetting about them.This disease is treated by a psychiatrist and is quite rare.However, if your child's actions fit this description, then there is only one way out - to consult a specialist.

2. "Steal once"

In this case, we are dealing with a "spontaneous" theft. Yielding to temptation, the child takes someone else's thing and, being exposed, experiences powerful stress. As a rule, such children have formed the norms of social behavior, they know what is good and bad, they are able to control their impulse impulses. The act of stealing is not intentional, and the child subsequently repents sincerely.

Another reason for spontaneous theft may be the desire of the child to assert himself and feel his importance, to gain authority in the group, and if he does not find other ways to realize himself, then he decides on such an unseemly act.

Attracting the attention of parents is the next reason why a child may steal. Most often this happens with children of primary school age. Parents are too busy to give the child enough time. "How are things at school? Fine. Well done! Bad, got a deuce? Oh, well, tell me what happened." Gradually, the child begins to understand that negative actions attract more attention from loved ones. And then the child commits a theft in order to be “noted”. He does not need this money (things), the child needs communication with his parents, even if it is a negative contact, but it will be directed to Him.

3. Systematic theft

This is the type of theft most worrying parents. The child steals often and in different situations. At the same time, he understands that taking someone else’s is not good, but he cannot give up the impulse to “pull” anything. Such children are characterized by problems in all activities associated with volitional effort: to sit down for lessons on time, keep personal belongings in order, brush their teeth. It is difficult for him to follow the rules in collective games, to obey the restrictions in time and space. It is the immaturity of the function of self-control, the underdevelopment of the volitional sphere, that leads to the fact that the child begins to take things that he liked without permission or to steal money in order to acquire what he wants. Often, without realizing it, parents do a “disservice” by trying to replace the child’s self-control with their own controlling actions, involving teachers in this: “He is so unorganized, you will follow him.” And as a result, a person grows up who lacks self-discipline and strong-willed qualities.

What to do?

“If the situation is hopeless, exit through the entrance,” says folk wisdom. Knowing the reasons for the theft of a child, you can safely deal with this phenomenon.

So, if the family has a friendly atmosphere and the parents are adequate enough, then you need to start by paying more attention and love to the child. Communication should not be limited to talking about how your day at school went. Being more attentive means spending your free time together: reading books, playing games together, talking on various “everyday” topics. Share your thoughts with your child, talk about your own childhood, and the experiences of youth. Over time, the inner world of your child will open to you, you will find out: what he dreams of, with whom he is friends, what is the scope of his interests.

It is very useful to spend joint weekends, preferably with a trip to nature. At the same time, it’s not bad to grab a couple of your offspring’s friends - it’s troublesome, but it’s worth it. In joint activities, and even next to comrades, the child will not only be imbued with trust and respect for you, but will also be filled with pride for such parents.

Reading at night is another way to connect with your child. Discussing the books you read, exchanging impressions, you reveal your inner world to the child, thereby drawing closer to him. It is important that the child imbued with confidence in the parents, felt the sincerity of their intentions. And then, in an atmosphere of love and mutual understanding, the problem of theft will go away by itself.

However, it is not always enough to create a favorable microclimate in the house. Children who have disorders of volitional functions need help in their formation. Start with:

1. Stop replacing the child's willpower with your own impulses.
2. Instill responsibility in your child from an early age, such as making it his daily responsibility to buy fresh bread, water the flowers, or look after his little brother. Explain how important this is for you and for the whole family.
3. Use exercises to develop willpower. For example, hang two pairs of identical clocks in the children's room. Some will go according to the time of day, while others will be left without batteries and external glass. Giving the child a task: clean the room, fold the briefcase, draw his attention to the clock. Specify that he is given 15 minutes to complete this work, while on the clock that “does not run”, move the arrows to the time when the task should be done. The child should receive clear instructions: the assignment must be completed by the time the clock hands show the same time. This exercise promotes the development of internal discipline and organization.
4. Enroll your child in the sports section, nothing like sport will accustom him to discipline and order, and also form his inner strong-willed qualities.

And finally, a few general rules that all parents should be aware of:

1. Prevention of child theft start with a confidential conversation. Only knowing the reasons for the child's act, you can successfully deal with this phenomenon.
2. Talk to your child about the theft in private and in a calm environment. Folk wisdom says: "Praise in front of everyone, scold in private".
3. Give up labels like "thief", "criminal", and the words "theft", "theft". Replace them with the concepts: “take someone else's”, “take without asking”. The use of such definitions in relation to a child can lower his self-esteem and further lead to new offenses.
4. Convince the child of the need to return the stolen item. If he is ashamed or afraid to do it on his own, go along.
5. Do not be afraid to give your child pocket money, this will save him from the desire to steal and teach him to save.

And remember the words of the American writer Erma Bombeck: “A child needs your love the most when he least deserves it.”.

Specialists working with children know that almost every child has taken something from someone else at least once in their life. At the same time, most adults react very sharply to cases of child theft: confusion ("How could this happen to my child?"), panic ("What will others think?" "", "I'm a bad educator ..."), the desire to "punish to be disrespectful." It is important how we react to the situation if this happened to the child for the first time (or we noticed it for the first time). Of course, our reaction will depend on the age of the child.

The terms "theft", "theft" are generally inapplicable to preschoolers, because the real world and the world of their imagination are inseparable. They are not yet able to realize their bad deed.

If this happened to a child who was not yet four years old, his offense can hardly be called a real theft. The kid is not yet able to distinguish between "my thing" - "someone else's". An older child (four to six years old) is already able to understand the boundaries of property. But it is still difficult for him to restrain his desires and impulses: he wanted to, I know that it’s not mine, he still took it. Moreover, the value of the thing does not play a role for him. Adults, on the other hand, are usually more shocked by what happened if it is an expensive thing than when it comes to some little thing - a plastic toy, for example.

Children need to be taught lessons about personal property and not taking anything without permission. Children under the age of five are generally selfish, and often their main goal is to find and take what they want. That is why parents should teach their child to ask permission to take, borrow or use someone else's property.

There are many reasons why children might take other people's things..

The child may experience a strong desire to own something (most often some kind of toy) that the baby is not able to handle. Seeing a new toy from a peer, which he himself had long dreamed of, and seizing the moment, he hides it or takes it home. The reason for this behavior is the peculiarity of the consciousness of a preschool child: for him, such concepts as "mine", "yours", "alien" are abstract and incomprehensible.
A simple example: a two-three-year-old kid is not yet able to understand what property and belonging are, and as a result of this, on a walk or at a party, the child wants to take any toy he likes. It is inappropriate to call him a thief, it is better to tell him that this is someone else's toy, and therefore it is impossible to take it, because the child himself does not yet know this and cannot understand without the help of adults that it is not good to take other people's things. Parents should tell him about this more than once, it is better to accompany your story with an analysis of a specific situation, and in order for the child to understand it better, draw his attention to the experiences of a person who has lost some thing.

The child might want to give a gift to someone close (usually parents). This reason is also related to the lack of understanding of the negative assessment of theft. The child strives in one way or another to please his mother - and the fact that he is doing wrong simply does not occur to him.

Children may feel as if they have "found" an item that does not belong to them, and accordingly, they may keep it for themselves. Parents should teach their children that "found" items do not have to remain their property.

Children may steal to get attention. Often, they seek attention not only from their parents, but also from their peers, siblings. Wanting to attract the attention of peers to himself as the owner of a thing.

Children learn from adults. When a child sees how parents take things from work, from neighbors or even from a store, they are an example of thieving behavior.

Some children who steal feel like they are missing something that other children have. For example, some of your children's friends have pocket money. Parents may not see the need for this, or they may not be able to give pocket money to the child, so the child begins to steal money to meet their needs.

Some children steal to gain control or power.

A child may steal, wanting to punish someone or take revenge on him.

How to behave if a preschooler brought home someone else's thing?

First, try to figure out what really happened. For example, the baby just changed with another child. And if this toy is from a kindergarten or from a pediatrician's office? It is clear that it is necessary to return it to its place. But at the same time, it is worth considering: perhaps we are not too attentive to the needs of the child. Or was it exactly the thing that he had long wanted to have?

What if it turns out that the toy or thing is the property of another child? It is important to understand the nuances of the situation. Was this thing brought into the house openly and the child himself told about it? Or did you find it hidden among the household toys? What relationship did he have with the owner of the thing? Perhaps he wants to attract the attention of this child. Or in this way he shows his power over the weaker.

Does he feel guilty when the item is discovered? If he is not ashamed and does not regret his act, you need to speak out strictly and unambiguously: the thing must be returned, you condemn what happened. You hope that your son or daughter already knows that this is a bad deed and will not repeat it.

Take pity on the kid, and he will immediately become ashamed. Help fix what he did. Treat him and his act as carefully and tactfully as possible.

If the baby understands his guilt, shift the focus to the experiences and feelings of a person who has lost his beloved thing, how bad he is, etc. And help your child return the thing or toy without unnecessary humiliation and public hearings, it is better to do it alone with the owner of the thing. The child may offer one of his toys and be allowed to take it home to play with. Once the child understands and agrees that his behavior was wrong, give him the opportunity to correct himself.

If the child was seen stealing:

Do not call him a thief, do not label him predicting a criminal future.

Do not compare him to other children or to yourself as a child, do not make him feel ashamed and depressed ("I am ashamed of you", "No parent has to blush like that", "My son could not have done this" and etc.);

Do not arrange a trial for every, even a minor misconduct of a child - otherwise he will hide everything from you;

Do not discuss the problem with strangers in the presence of the child. The golden rule of education says: scold in private, praise - in front of everyone.

Don't approach your child with rhetorical questions like "How could you?" etc. - it is completely useless and even harmful.

Do not go back to what happened (after the situation has been sorted out), because. By doing this, you will only fix this act in the mind of the child.

Do not remind the child about what happened if he committed another misconduct that is not related to theft.

Remember that theft can be a reaction to family troubles, mistakes in the education system.

The main mistakes in education that can provoke children's theft include the following:

lack of consistency in upbringing, when in one situation the child is punished, and in another - they "turn a blind eye" to the offense: they threatened to punish, but did not punish;

inconsistency in the requirements of adults (dad allows, but mom forbids);

"double morality" - when the suggestions and demands of parents diverge from their actions in the same situation (for example, parents inspire the child "that you can't take someone else's", and they themselves bring from work something that "lies badly." The child, sincerely believing in the authority and infallibility of parents, follows their example and for a long time cannot understand why he is scolded if he acts like mom and dad.);

the situation of permissiveness, raising a child in the style of "family idol": the child grows up with the thought "I am the best and the only one", it is difficult for him to learn to reckon with the opinions of other people, because he focuses only on his own desires and interests. Such children, getting into a group of peers, continue to behave in the same way as in the family, but very quickly receive "feedback" from children - they do not want to communicate with them. They sincerely do not understand why it is impossible to take what they want. And parents begin to accuse other children of being a detrimental influence on their "wonder child";

total control over the behavior and actions of the child. At the same time, some children take an active "defensive" position, constantly showing stubbornness and entering into bickering on any occasion. And others "go underground", continuing to commit acts condemned by adults, but already at those moments when they are not paid attention to.

What can parents do to prevent theft.

Your child needs to know not to touch anyone's things without permission.

Make sure your child knows that stealing can lead to loss of friends, loss of trust, and a bad feeling after stealing.

The child should know that drastic measures will follow from your side with unpleasant consequences. The child must return the thing to the owner, or pay for it. If your child does not have money, he must do extra work to earn money. The child must be held accountable for wrong actions.

If your child steals things and items that he needs from other children (pencils, paper and pens), explain to him that you can’t take other people’s things, but it’s better to just ask your parents for everything you need - you yourself will buy everything he needs.

Put things you don't want your child to take in places where he can't get to them.

Explain to the child that in the near future he will have the opportunity to receive a certain thing. This will teach your child patience and delayed gratification.

If your child steals, you must stop it - but only if you are absolutely sure of the facts. Nothing hurts more than an unfair accusation. You must tell him that his behavior is unacceptable, but at the same time, it is important to assure the baby that you love him very much - even if you do not approve of his behavior now.

Think before you take decisive action. Undoubtedly, theft should not go unpunished, but only if you are sure that the child also considers this punishment fair. Perhaps your severity will not only not save him from bad inclinations, but will only provoke a lot of other, no less harmful actions. Having survived the punishment, the child, most likely, will learn to dodge, hide, deceive, being afraid of only one thing - to be exposed. But is it only the fear of punishment that keeps children from wanting to take someone else's?

In conclusion, let us say that the general strategy of the behavior of parents in relation to the theft of their children should depend on the causes of the child's behavior, the clarification of which is of paramount importance. But in any case, it must be remembered that the appearance of such an alarm signal as theft indicates that your child lacks love and attention.

The child's desire to get some thing is often suppressed by strict parents: "No money!". And then a plan matures in the child's head on how to take possession of the thing you love by any means. Banknotes or coins begin to disappear from the house, and things appear in the house that were not bought or donated by parents. What to do if the child steals? Is it really in this case that he will definitely go down a slippery slope in the future? No, not at all! Experts say that more than 80% of adults in childhood at least once took something from someone else. And not every one of them made theft their "calling".

The main causes of child theft

Psychological dissatisfaction. If this is the reason, then the child begins to steal not only from his parents, but also from classmates, close people. This behavior is typical of younger students and adolescents. Usually, in the families of such children, a tense atmosphere reigns, which is expressed in the emotional coldness of family members to each other. Sometimes the cause of theft is violence against the child in the family or in the team. A small person, stealing, thus takes out his resentment and anger, and does not perceive the appropriation of someone else's as a way of enrichment.
Low self-esteem and poor communication skills. The child does not know how to properly communicate with others, does not know how to get to know children, is very shy and closed. With the help of theft, he wants to increase his own self-esteem, to gain recognition from the team.
An irrepressible desire to take possession of the thing you like. The child may be aware that he is doing wrong by stealing someone else's thing, but the desire to possess it is so great that it muffles the voice of reason. Sometimes such "crimes" are not disclosed, because the child carefully plans this action to the smallest detail, "covering his tracks." Adults only have to guess where the toy robot of the neighbor boy Petya has gone.

Drawing attention to your personality. Very often you can hear stories about children from wealthy families who are caught stealing from the store. It would seem that this child has everything, so why is he attracted to such adventures? Everything is very simple - he wants to attract the attention of his parents or other significant people in his life. Adults who are too focused on making money often "buy" their children with gifts and money. They forget that children first of all need love and attention.
Low-income family. Theft can be caused by a lack of material wealth in the family. The child sees that other children have things and pocket money that he does not have. By stealing them, he "restores justice" in his world.
parent example. In some cases, the child adopts the behavior of parents who do not consider petty theft at work or in a store a crime. They bring different things from work, brag to their friends about how they managed to sneak a bottle of beer out of the store without paying. Such actions are a vivid example of thieves' behavior, which their child subsequently copies.

Psychologists believe that the child who grows up in an atmosphere of emotional well-being, who has been instilled with the right moral principles, will not steal. Such children know how to control their desires and will never take someone else's thing, no matter how much they want it. In some cases, the cause of theft may be communication with a bad company. The child steals in order to increase his authority and become his own among troubled peers. The task of parents is to unobtrusively remove their child from communicating with such children.

What should parents do if they catch their child stealing?

First of all, you need to get to the bottom of the root cause of such an act. If a child steals, wanting to take revenge on someone, then parents should gently but confidently convince him of the destructiveness of such behavior. Psychologists advise losing the conflict to the smallest detail. You don’t need to call the little person a thief and react too violently to such actions so as not to aggravate the problem. Her positive decision largely depends on the patience and restraint of the parents.

Children from 7 to 10 years old steal mainly due to poorly developed willpower. They cope very poorly with the temptation to take possession of someone else's thing or money, although they understand that they are doing it wrong. In this case, parents should not put pressure on the child, but give him more freedom of action. It is recommended, for example, to draw up a leisure schedule for the weekend and allow you to implement all the written points yourself.

Do not scare your child with police or physical violence. This will form in his mind the image that he is "bad".
Offer to share responsibility with him for what he did. Help fix the situation.
Talk about your feelings. Let him know how frustrating this behavior is for you.
Remember that, no matter what, this is your child, not a recidivist thief. If you immediately pounce on him with reproaches “How could you?”, Then in the future, most likely, he will continue to steal, but will hide it more carefully. After all, with such words you undermine his self-confidence.
Use the presumption of innocence. Even if everyone around you is sure that it was your child who stole, but there is no evidence of his guilt, do not rush to blame him. Let him feel your support.
Try to get to the truth. Ask your child about the reasons that prompted him to steal.

Help the child to return the stolen item. Go with him to her owner and explain the situation, no matter how ashamed you are of it.
Do not discuss these issues with strangers.
After a successful resolution of the situation, try not to return to this problem again. Be sure that the child will accurately learn the lesson presented, if all the actions were done correctly. If you know for 100% that it was your child who stole this or that thing, offer him to return it while no one sees. In any case, your child should know that you love him, even if he did wrong. However, he must understand the pain that his domestic behavior brings to everyone.

How to prevent theft

Theft prevention is an effective method to avoid unpleasant situations in the future. Preliminary preventive conversations will help the child learn that it is absolutely impossible to take other people's things without asking. He must know that everything secret sooner or later comes to the surface. Therefore, no matter how he tries to hide a bad deed, they will still find out about him in due time. It is recommended to teach lessons of trust. To this end, you can leave money in a conspicuous place, revealing your trust in the child. However, you should not leave the first case of theft unpunished - this will entail the occurrence of the following.

Several effective theft prevention methods

Empathy will help the child to feel how the other person feels, from whom the thing was stolen. You need to teach your child to empathize.
If you direct children's energy in a fertile direction, then he simply will not have time to engage in theft. He will find something to his liking and will be able to fulfill himself with his help.
Say "No!" double standards. If you teach your child that stealing is not good, and you yourself bring stationery trifles from work, considering this normal, then do not be surprised when your child brings someone else's felt-tip pens home one fine day.
Develop a sense of responsibility in your child. You can entrust him with looking after younger children or a pet.
Be sure to be interested in the problems of the child and help with their solution. Do not take his complaints skeptically, considering them ridiculous. The child should know that at home he will always be helped and given good advice.

Common mistakes in parenting

Physical punishment. The method of education with a belt has repeatedly proved its ineffectiveness. Parents believe that by inflicting physical pain on their child, they will force him to improve and change. However, the consequences of such tactics are the presence of a deep psychological trauma in the child, which will haunt him all his life if he does not turn to a psychologist in time. If you beat a little man with a belt, then he will begin to steal with a vengeance, thus expressing his protest.
social shame. In this case, the child is publicly shamed and blamed. A feeling of insignificance and inferiority is formed in the child's head. In adolescence, he will get rid of it with the help of alcohol or drugs.
Permissiveness. In this case, parents do not react at all to the problem. The child loses his bearings and believes that he is doing everything right. Such children are allowed almost everything. But getting into the team, they do not understand the rejection of their behavior by their peers.

You can wean a child from stealing with the help of a calm and constructive conversation. Such offenses should not be ignored, but the punishment should be adequate and reasonable.

child theft widespread, and even wealthy parents who pay enough attention to their children can find out that their child has stolen something.

Children steal for many different reasons, the main ones being revenge, the desire to get what they want at all costs, lack of education, the desire to look more interesting in the eyes of others due to the presence of an expensive toy.

What does a pediatric neuropsychologist treat? Learn about it from ours.

General information about child theft

There is a widespread tendency in society to call petty theft, including children's, kleptomania, which is mistake.

Kleptomania- a mental illness that occurs relatively infrequently.

It is extremely difficult for a kleptomaniac to restrain the urge to steal something, and thanks to theft, he feels pleasure and relieves nervous tension.

Impulses to steal something from a kleptomaniac intensify if something happened in his life psychotraumatic.

At the same time, such a person may be well aware that he is doing wrong. Most kleptomaniacs try to fight the disease with the help of psychiatrists and psychotherapists.

The most common kleptomania occurs in 30-40 years. In childhood, this disease is a rarity. Therefore, children's theft should be called theft, and not kleptomania.

Even the child who does not lack toys and tasty food can steal, but children from disadvantaged families are more likely to steal who regularly experience a sense of their own inferiority, looking at happy peers dressed in beautiful clothes and bringing interesting toys to the team.

An active desire to steal in such children may be combined with other deviant features, such as increased aggressiveness.

Why do children steal?

Why do children steal? The main causes of child theft:

In extremely rare cases, a child steals because he was asked to do so by an important adult, such as one of his parents, or in cases where an adult clearly told him that stealing is good, useful. This applies to a small percentage of marginalized families.

Factors that increase the likelihood that a child will want to steal are financial problems in the family. However, even a child from an extremely needy family is unlikely to commit theft if his parents have given him clear moral guidelines about it.

Therefore, this factor can significantly increase the likelihood only if there are additional factors, such as lack of proper education, life with toxic or marginalized parents the negative influence of friends, acquaintances.

What to do if a child bites his nails? help you!

If a child has stolen something and you need to respond immediately (that is, you just found out), it is important:

When you and the child are in a calm environment, then you need to move on to full discussion of the situation. Ask questions about what happened.

Most likely, the child will not be able to tell everything in detail, will cry and may completely shut up without saying anything about the case.

This is normal: he experiences what happened, feels helpless and upset. It is important at this moment not to break into it.

If a store item is in good condition, it should be immediately return and explain to the seller together with the child. It is important that the child apologizes.
If the seller does not want to take the goods back or the goods are in poor condition, it is important to talk to the child about this moment: explain to him that now he will have to pay for what he has stolen. If the child has pocket money, it is they that must be used to pay, so that he is aware of the loss.

Child stole from parents - tips:

If the child took money for someone, it is important to understand this situation and, if necessary, contact the police (in case it is about extortion).

How to deal with the problem?

How to punish a child for stealing?

If a child steals regularly, and exhortations and lenient punishment do not work, it is necessary see a child psychologist.

How to wean from an addiction?

It is important to solve the problem comprehensively, if necessary, to connect a psychologist. It is necessary to find out the causes of theft and work with them.
For every reason, a constructive solution must be found. If the child does not have enough pocket money, discuss options with him. If there is a frank lack of financial resources in the family, calmly, without tantrums and aggression, explain to him the current situation.
At the same time, if the child has been removed from responsibility and relationships with money all this time, he may not understand the parent’s explanations, because money has not received special value for him.
If the child has been overprotected, this should be abandoned. Gradually expand the area of his responsibility, give more instructions. If the child is old enough and , get him, but indicate that the main care for him lies with the child.
Do not leave money openly if the child has already been seen stealing. Do not reinforce the temptation to take.

How do you explain to a child that you can't steal?

Give examples, show and discuss content related to theft. For example, you can use pictures depicting various events related to theft. Have the child describe what they see in the picture and give their opinion. If the theme of theft was shown in a fairy tale or cartoon, you should ask him for an opinion (which of the heroes did well and which did not).
From an early age, it is important to try to explain to him what “one's own” means and what “alien” means. Repeatedly remind him of the difference between inside and outside, especially in appropriate situations (for example, if a small child took someone else's toy on the playground).

If a child has already been caught stealing, a child psychologist can help him change his attitudes. It is important to contact him, especially if the child stole repeatedly.

How to calm a naughty child? find out right now.

Why do children steal? Psychologist's opinion: