Is there a certain check list, formula, a list of rules that can be used to create a happy family? Is family psychology capable of changing the state of affairs, to correct family problems that seem unreashed?

Dreams of happy family life often differ dramatically from reality. A man is dissequeary, dreaming about the home focus, imagines a little paradise, where everyone loves and support each other. Obedient, smart, happy children, peacefully playing with each other, loving, understanding, tender spouse, real love, passion.

In reality, people desperately wanting family happiness, often get homegrown hell, where children are fighting among themselves, rude adults, their behavior is difficult to control. Husband and wife do not get together, they yell on children, sometimes it comes to the hands-written. Reproaches and misunderstanding come to the change of love and passion.

This article is not about how to survive the next family crisis, but how to create that little paradise, a cozy family nest, which every person dreams of. To do this, we will need, first of all, the ability to understand other people - to understand not through ourselves, not through their prism of worldview, desires and values, but objectively, as it really is. This teaches the training system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan.

Psychology of relations in marriage

They say the opposites are attracted. This observation is taken from life. Indeed, natural attraction attracts completely different people into marriage, with different vectors. They feel life in different ways, they wish different, and that the worst thing, everyone demands from each other that it is important for himself, perceiving the other as an incorrect itself.

System-vector psychology makes it possible to understand a partner, see the world with his eyes. What he wants, what is important for him, why does he think so and why does he behave like that? Because he was born another - with other vectors, that is, by other psychological properties and desires.

It is this particular feeling that parents should provide parents for their psychological health and development. Make it is not so difficult. To begin with - stop being a threat to your children. In other words, stop them to beat them, stop screaming on them, insult, to humiliate, forced to what they are incapable by their nature.

After all, the child can completely differ from the parent for the set of vectors. From birth, he may have another nature, and the parent in the process of upbringing sees in him the wrong itself.

"Yes, who did you get like this?" Not necessarily in dad or in mom - vector is not inherited. After all, it is difficult not to notice that in one family are born and grow completely different children. Family education is given to everyone, and people grow different.

Incorrectly interacting with your child, parents provoke deviant behavior. For example, if you scream to a child with CO, it will be more closed in myself, worse to perceive the information, it will be bad to learn, although he is a genius in the potential.

If you beat and insult a small skin baby, it will begin to steal, his masochistic inclinations can develop. In the family circle, he already provokes parents, brothers and sisters to be shed, and in the future it will also unconsciously look for pain, although it will consciously be striving for happiness and decent life.

At the training "System-vector psychology" you begin to understand your child from the inside. And from now on, the need to "correct" the baby disappears and forever. The approach to it is naturally.

And the same naturally the child's behavior normalizes "Just because his parents cease to bring him harm, trying to remake him." who passed the training of Yuri Burlan:

Only in such a family atmosphere, the child can develop his psyche to the maximum, that is, the properties that are given to him from nature and realize themselves to the fullest in the future adult life.

Family traditions needed for a happy family

Some traditions are very promoted by family happiness - they are a base of successful relationships in any family.

For example, the best therapy for the rapprochement of all family members is regular joint meals: dinners, breakfasts, lunches on weekends. Family, where everyone in itself chews his sausage in front of a computer or TV risks that never become friendly.

Very good tradition - read out loud books in a family circle, preferably classic. People who together empathize the heroes are experiencing the events of the literary work, create deep emotional connections among themselves. Especially important to joint reading in a family with several children. This tradition will avoid fighting and quarrels between them.

This understanding of each family member automatically gives rise to their traditions and family habits - depending on which opposites they get along. For example, to regularly make massages to kids with a skin vector, go hiking with them. Observe the silence where sounds live, because the noise hurts them. To regularly visit the theater with visual children, because they need emotional impressions so much!

Happiness is the result of knowledge and their use.

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The article is written on the materials of the training " System-vector psychology»

- Stage of patience. There are quarrels, but they are not so fatal. There is an understanding that the quarrel will end, relations will be restored. Parabe runs thought: "You can cope with this." And it turns on the law of energy conservation: no energy disappears, it is converted. The energy of patience is transformed into the energy of the mind. And then, we finally see our partner through the prism of the mind, and not through their sensuality or egoism.

- Debt and respect. At this stage, an understanding comes that the partner is not obliged to do, since I want. You begin to see the dignity of the partner and your shortcomings. You start thinking not about the fact that the "partner should me", but that "I have to a partner." The concentration on their duties is a powerful resource for the development of relations.

- Friendship stage. At this stage, general objectives are formed based on common values.

- Stage of love.

Up to the fourth stage inclusive, we focus on what we must. On the subsequent stages, we focus on what we must.

Woman getting married, falls into another family. We all know that sometimes it is not easy for relations with mother-in-law? Without building a harmonious relationship with her husband's parents, you can hardly talk about a happy family.

Think about the word "marry". We go for her husband. But the husband is a representative of a kind. And in fact we go under the patronage of the genus of your husband. Hence the tradition of changing the surname. And we do it voluntarily.

If we are aware of this, the problems of the relationship of the breeding breeder will not. If you voluntarily, consciously enter into the genus of her husband, how can you deny his representatives, in particular, mother-in-law?

And in life, we often demand from the spouse of a kind of renunciation from a kind. In principle, this is the same egoism. And if your mother has natural, natural intimacy with your mother, then efforts must be made with your mother-in-law. The mother-in-law, however, like the mother-in-law, it is necessary to pay more attention, i.e. Investing more energy in a relationship than with your parents. What is true for the spouse.

His attention, its energy to a greater extent belongs to his wife's parents than his own. Such a formula gives an excellent long-term result.

I can not give an example from practice. The client requested about the poor relationship with mother-in-law. We went to the stage of understanding that the mother-in-law is worth paying more attention to love. How? Illumination came to the client this: I know that she really wants a pedicure, but she has trouble footsteps, and it is difficult for her to find the masters. Probably the best gift, the mark of attention will be a pedicure made by me. Customer - Master of Manicure and Pedicure. In this process, both of them happened for them: and the declination of the head to the older woman and at the same time a demonstration of their qualifications, which caused reverse respect. Relationships have improved.

Olga, I know that in your course "The success of a man. Woman's happiness "Is there a topic of family egoism? What it is?

The selfishness of the spouses is growing proportion to the invested in the seven of the time. The larger and longer people together, the more rights they place to the partner. This is a family egoism, which rushes a family to collapse. Position "Why am I? Why not you? " - Destroy the relationship. Position "I'm happy to do something for you!" - Saves, develops and creates relationships. Savings conscious unconsciousness in relation to each other. A higher form of unbreakable, which reduces family selfishness, there is a doing for others, conscious unconsciousness outside the family.

Olya, what are you given three main advice to women who understand that they are responsible for peace and happiness in the family?

Inspiration energy belongs to a woman - inspire your men. If a woman believes in her man - he reaches the vertices. If he looks like "on the disappearance" - he disappeared. We, women, are very strong in the world, in the material sphere. Be chastity. Chastity is not only to marry to get out. It is primarily in being confident that for you the best man is your husband. Take your men. Totally! Adoption is an unconditional agreement with any qualities, features and features of your man, without wanting to change it or deal with it.

I would like to finish this way: the woman gives the right to a man to do what he wants, while reserving the right to ask for what she wants.

Interview held and prepared Tatyana Dzutsva

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Sometimes it happens very difficult to create a happy, family life. Although it is not difficult to create a family, marry or get married, pretty a child or even one and ready, family as a family. But not everything is as simple as it seems.

Let's try simply take and figure outHow to create a happy family that it is generally and who should still make creating the very happy family. We will not make a lot of caring this topic, say the main one. So to say what we came to our family.

What is love

love is …

I always loved and love order and sequence. Of course, the order is not everywhere I observe, things can scatter, the tools scatter and so on, the wife is not delighted with this and of course swears for it.

But let's start with this. What is the basis of the family, carefully what is the cause of the family creation? Many will answer - love, especially the girls. Yes, of course, there is no dispute. But looking at his acquaintances surrounding, the youth, came to the conclusion that some are just afraid of love.

More precisely, not love as such, but they are afraid that love will be not real, then they will be in a difficult situation and will suffer all their lives, as with my wife it came out. But everything proved to be corrected. So what is love?

Many philosophers will give many answers, but no one will definitely tell what it is. Everyone describes and will tell in its own way, many in general spend the whole life to study this issue. Well, I already will not try to find out.

The fact is that everyone and each will understand what it is, just when you love truly, then you will go to the person not only when it's good, but when it's badThough to you, at least both. It is really difficult to explain.

Philosopher Omar Khayam

Especially since love exists not only between a man and a woman. The strongest love, at least with me, to my mother. And sometimes love for your family, sister or brother, children, mom or dad, and so on, maybe that very real, true. Or maybe you should see just this love, study it and understand what is love?

Love is a strange thing for me. Sometimes when the spouse just infuriates me - she even becomes more sexier, all anger and hatred becomes an empty place.

But it is not necessary to be afraid that you love the wrong person. Time will actually show what and how. But the main component of what you love is the consciousness of what you want a family, children. That is, not just to be close to this man, admire him and her beauty, rest and so on, and it is a desire to create sevenyu, with children, with problems, with relatives and so on.

And if you still do not feel that you want to tie myself with a loving person for a lifetime, to be one whole and raise children together, then it will even make sense to read you. I just will continue to describe those things that will help look at the already created family from the side and, see what can be corrected or add to your, for example. Or when creating a family, simply understand what you do not need to do.

If you are not at all happy now, think if there is love between you. Did you love and love you. And already on the basis of this, think about whether it is worth changing something or just start all over again. Do you have time and strength at this time. From myself add - hands should notIf you see at least one little clearance - try and everything will work out. In my family it took it for several years.

In past releases, we described simple little things that can be read.

The basis of a happy family

To start, deal with what So - happy family. What is it for you and for your satellite. You also need to clearly understand that the vision of a happy family you and your companion are different. Therefore, communication only and can reveal what brings you closer.

Only during good communication you both will understand that for you is a happy family, which you want both of your life, from a family from each other. This is important and perhaps with this needs to start building a happy family.. Arrange the goals for yourself and satellite (companions) and go to this purpose. Even small chains, but you will come to her, the main hand is not omitting and respecting each other.

Figure happy family

As a man, I can paint a lot here, what a woman should do. But the stop, it turns out the guys should not do anything? Here are some say, they say I earn money, the head is clogged with work, but I still want to fish or make a car or repair it is necessary .... Well, what - I say. And you, men did not think what your wife do?

Take even cooking, cleaning, to pay attention to your husband, follow yourself, raise children and still to manage to work as well as many little things. Titanic work, in my opinion.

To build a happy family, work on family relationships is necessary both, both wife and her husband.

Who is the head in this house? Who remains the last word? I'm still of those times when such questions are drastically the answer was one - a man. Yes, this is right in my opinion, a man is stronger and a family should be behind his back.

But the man himself should be a man. He must stand the Mountain for the family, for his wife, for children. It should be not only physically selenium, but also a smart. This is not enough modern men, not everyone of course. In order for the last word to be behind her husband, he should clearly understand what the problem. And rather as much as it is more correct to understand everything. In order not to harm the family.

Recently, I often see that some young guys simply do not understand that in the future the family should stand behind their backs. Now they are for themselves only, and the rest in the fig, to put it mildly. Of course, the defects of education will say many. What about the parents themselves?

Yes, you do not need to count on the state, teachers or anyone else! Parents must convey to the child what is important in his future life, then that will never give a school and teachers. But this is a separate topic, something suffered me aside. But it makes sense to think.

And so, in my opinion what you need to do first to get a happy family:

1. Examine your partner And let him study you. It is necessary that both spouses learned very close each other.
2. Learn the logic of thinking both men and women. The Lord did not just create us different in sexual sign, but we have different thinking. And it needs to be understood. About women can be found, but about men.
3. To change something, there must be a desire, motivation. Motivate yourself and loved ones.
4. Trust each otherThis is a happy family again.
5. Respect each other, children. Respect what they are doing and what your loved ones like to do.
6. Communicate with each other. And not just superficially, discussing the cases of pressing, but also chat deeply. It will help you know each other better and you will understand each other.
7. Enjoy each other and children. Cut more time together, travel, play, watch TV and so on. Return at least once a year together on vacation, where either. Grandma in the village does not count.
8. Get a good family tradition. It brings closer.
9. Do not throw over each other. If there is a problem in the family - both are to blame.
10. Raise children together. Children take an example with you.
11. Subscribe your relationship with gifts, surprises. Children to delight too.
12. All questions should be justice. You need to know a sense of measure.

Remember! Family is a single whole, you are together, which means the joy and sadness are your common. So you need to make more joy.

And a little bit of

Just liked the phrase, to the place

As one day, I heard one parable, or as it is called there, well, in general, the story that trembled me much and made me move. Briefly so: one sage was once one day. He was the wiser and all the people went to him for advice. From this he was happy and proud.

But one day he learned that there was another sage, too, very wise and people began to walk to him too. The first sage thought for a long time to do so that people only went to him how to show that the second sage was not so wise.

And he came up with. I'll take it, says the first sage, and I will catch a butterfly, I close it with his palms so that it was not visible. I'll go and ask the second sages that I have in my hands. He will answer that the butterfly, I will ask the lively or dead. If you say a living, then I will give a little palm, she will die. If you say that the dead, I just reveal the palm and she will fly.

But then it turns out that the sage is not right and people will stop him trust. Well, the first sage comes to the second, in his hands he has a butterfly. Asks the first one that in his hands - the second says that the butterfly. On the second question - whether she lived, the second sage thought and answered: everything is in your hands.

So dear reader: everything is in your hands. As you want, it will be the main thing to go to your goal. Want a happy family - be happy and infected with the happiness of all your loved ones. On the way there are many difficulties and obstacles, but everything will turn out, because everything is in your hands.

There is no clear plan that you need to do to be a happy family. In fact, the fact that we wrote above is just what you need to pay attention to. All people are different. Something comes with experience. But you do not need to be afraid, you need to act, that's what you think right and do.

On this, so far, write your comments, ask questions, good luck to you and be happy.

How to create a happy family life Updated: September 11, 2017 by the author: Subbotin Paul

Family relationships - This is a huge work. Save and maintain them very difficult. Both partners should make efforts so that life together was joy.
We offer seven simple rules, observing which you can make your family life happier.

The rule is first. Confidence

Trust is an important component of family happiness and well-being. Once and forever decide: you trust your partner or not. And whatever the situation does not occur in the future, your choice should be unshakable. All doubts about a loved one should be recurred immediately. Remember: or there is a trust, or there is no family. Living in trust easily and calmly.

Rule second. No soldiers!

Do you know how the world famous Russian writer Lion Nikolaevich Tolstoy died? In the cold diverse night of October 1910, an eighty-one-year-old old old man was running out of the house, it was absolutely not knowing where it was going on ... And eleven days later, this genius of literature, this mind, who was enthusiastic of Europe, died on a small railway station from the inflammation of the lungs.
Do you know what was his suicide request? The patient asked to not allow him his own wife. It was a finale, the tragic finale so beautifully starting a relationship.
We think: what, in fact, did these many years happen between the spouses? But what: the wife of nothing the best decided that he could change her husband, change his beliefs, character, lifestyle. As if there was little of that favorite graph, but I needed someone who would do everything as I want a spouse. Who would not smell the earth, did not go barefoot on her, in Mother, who would require all its publishers fair fabric fees.
The graph, of course, did not change, he simply hated his wife and could not even forgive her on her mortal (the prospect of all enemies !!!). Here is the results! So, we formulate the second rule: never try to remake your spouse !!!
Great business - Captive wives! And I would be fine if there were no love. Well, on "no", they say, and the court is not. But there was love and Tolstoy, and Lincoln. The whole tragedy is that their wives have poorly read the Bible, where black in white is written that without the permissions of the Most High, even hair does not fall from the human head. And these poor unreasonable women believed that they could change the character of an adult formed by the person. Yes, not just some middle man, but the greatest people of their era, even in the weaknesses of their remaining great.

Rule third. Long live praise!

More often praise your half. For a delicious lunch, for the comfort, for the attention manifest. For all! Do not be afraid to intercepted, and be worried about not to say all the warm words that your loved one deserves. Criticism and quit kill relationships.
Never criticize your loved ones. Just cover your eyes to their small weaknesses, they are from every person. And your favorite gives you so much happiness. And does he not deserve your attention and praise?

Rule fourth. No alterations!

The fourth rule says: providing freedom to another, we get it yourself.
If you believe Del Carnegie, Henry James claimed: "The first thing you need to learn in relationships with other people is that they can not be interfered by being happy as they want, if only it does not prevent us from becoming happy in the way as we That we want. "
You should not redo the person under myself, because you loved it as it is.

Rule fifth. Signs of attention

Do not forget about small signs of attention. Coffee in bed, color bouquet is just like that, chocolate, laid by jam in a handbag. They neither stand for us almost nothing, but deliver the sea of \u200b\u200bpositive emotions. After all, the little things are our whole life. So let these little things and pleasant trifles flourish with bright colors.
More often arrange small family holidays!
The reason can be anything. Celebrating some family date (day of the first date, the day of the first kiss, etc.), a million hundred first kiss, just a good day.

Rule sixth. Happiness in your hands

Remember your relationship and save only you yourself! It depends on you whether they will be strong and develop into something more. For success, you need to work on them all the time, develop and improve. But efforts should be applied on both sides. It is impossible to get everything to one partner only. It is precisely doing something together, it brings together and strengthens family bonds. Immediately listen and hear. More often, try to look at the life situations through the eyes of a loved one.

Rule seventh. the main thing

Build your family life deliberately, not putting it on the will of the circumstances and not relying on the providence.

A happy family is love and mutual respect. The ability and ability to understand and accept a person as it is.

Be happy and respect each other.

Admin.

Family construction is a laborious process in which all participants are involved. The slightest error on the one hand can become a source of collapse of family relationships. From this the question arises: "Does the husband always, the wife and children are the family?" Perhaps these are the cohabitants who live together only because of the circumstances. They come after work, quickly dine and diverge on their own bedrooms. So how to create a happy family, where there is respect, trust and love.

Five rules of successful existence

There are 5 rules that will serve as a benchmark for creating fruitful cooperation. These rules are invented and thought out for the development of mutual respect and love. After all, without these basic, it is impossible to create a happy family.

Comparison of yourself with a partner is unacceptable. Comparison gives each person the objective moments of knowledge. But starting to compare, it is important not to "drag the blanket" on yourself.

If noted that you start to compare yourself with the second half, run away from it.

You are different - learn to admire it! Character features, actions of a close person do not always correspond to our ideals. Learn to admire it. Think about how good you are slow, and the partner quickly responds to situations.

You learn from each other with opposite qualities, increasing your own. You learn to show more activity in life, and your second half is to keep a pause. I admire the partner, we enrich the inner world.

Help moving forward. Often in relations lack mutual support. If you do not know how to create a happy family, learn to maintain your own spouse or spouse. Listen, let's tips, look for new ideas and let's tips.

Select the strengths in the partner and extol them. In family relations, it is important to feel a person, and for this you need to know what he lives what is worried.

Learn to agree. Let your consent be sincere. To or 1-2 day offenses in a marital life one half can agree. But at the same time the intonation of the phrase is such that everyone is clear what you think otherwise.

In general, the ability to agree with the opinion of the second half - already half of the percent of sincere relationships. After all, everyone wishes in response to the statement to hear the affirmative answer. Thanks to this, the soul has a sense of satisfaction and security.

If the family is often arguing, they find out who is right, hazards appear in members. A person lives in a sense of a trick. Learn to say "yes" and you will see how the second half becomes softer. Please note that not the scale is important, but at least part of the proposed consent.

Sometimes the recognition of the right thing is more important than intimacy in the relationship. People tend to prove their own right. But at the same time the feeling of unity and intimacy is lost. What is important to you in these evidence? Feel strength and other value? Then do you need to be together? Spouses should look for what they are growing.

Before defending the right, think that you are from this? Do you want to stay together and build a strong relationship or prove the weight of your own voice? Consistence in a relationship - not a sacrifice of their own ideals, interests. This is the search for the position when both are good.

Try to point less how to do others. After all, at this moment you are standing before choosing. Show emphasis in your own way and think about which way to move. In family life, there is no right and guilty. The truth is always in the middle.

How to build a happy marriage?

Some spouses enjoy life together, and the other half of the couple prefers to spend time, teaching children and grandchildren. Some gives pleasure an active life, a complete drive, others get adrenaline, looking through favorite TV series by a quiet evening. Happiness is different, as well as different families.

Family happiness in children

The main factor, as the aspirations and fear of creating a family - the birth of children. The birth of new members of society should not happen by chance. Relationships in the family are excellent if parents understand their own responsibility.

It is necessary to realize what problems will arise which financial investments will be required. Plan children, taking into account the material and moral position ,. Contact your pairs that already have children and they know how to create a happy family. Do not tighten with confusion and give yourself joy to be parents.

If you think that the birth of the baby will become an obstacle to the way of obtaining education or career growth, look around. Hundreds of thousands of families combine their studies, work and.

Family creation - compromise search

Working in family relationships is a lot and the main task is to find a solution that is satisfied with both. Consider the interests of her husband or spouse. Does he want you to do the less causing outfit? Add elegance to the casual wardrobe. Socks or candy scattered around the house? Teach to order.

Parents, friends will not help find a compromise. Your family is a personal matter and you must create peace and comfort yourself. The more you communicate together, the faster you will find a way out of the situation. You decide how to behave, install a personal space and learn better than each other.

First time is hard, but who said that - a light process? Refer to this positively. The more you together, the faster you learn the dignity and disadvantages. After life in the parent house, it is difficult to adopt responsibility and follow the new orders.

Learn to bypass minor conflicts and forget the offense. Decide problems in a quiet, trusting atmosphere, so that respect for each other remains all my life.

Understanding and forgiveness - the basis of the foundation

The ability to listen and take the position of the second half is an important task, deciding which you create a happy cell of society. Learn to forgive and not remember the insults so that they do not lie down in a serious cargo. Trust and respect will help you interact and leave the most conflict situations.

Understand what is more important: understanding or permanent soldiers and life in reproes? After all, after a long negative, it is time for disgust, when each of the spouses, as if under the microscope considers the shortcomings and criticizes. In the first years of life, the spouses will only recognize each other and is important at this time to show patience.

Do not hurt an expensive person with ultimatums or threats about parting. Learn to restrain sharp words and think constructively. It will give weight words and create an atmosphere of respect. After all, everyone has shortcomings and some of them can be completed. Think for which you chose the soul mate and appreciate the dignity.

Give smiles and praise and you get the same in return. Everyone is nice to see with him the satisfied life of a person, and not a dull person. Expressing positive, you charge others, creating a happy atmosphere for family life.

What is a happy family based on?

Romance is nice to realize that the family is an elevated society, where everyone praises and adores the soul mate. And it's a shame to hear that the creation of a family is work.

Family life can be perceived as science. To create and save a happy family, it is necessary to apply the addition methods, subtraction. Add passion, jealousy into the ordinary relationships. Take the hope and give it again. Learn to negotiate that equality and balance be in everything. Who is what responsibilities do who goes first to reconcile, who are more often inferior and who is less likely walking with friends.

If you really want to learn how to create a happy family, remember that not always. What will she come to replace? This is already to solve you. Build you trusting relationships, learn to take offense, will support a partner? The point is not in high-speed phrases, but in the way that every family chooses.

March 15, 2014, 11:07