The story of a very ugly girl. Beauty is not the main thing in life, or How can an ugly woman survive? How to live on if I'm ugly

Hello. I am 21 years old, female. I suffer from severe depression. The thing is, I'm very ugly. From childhood, the school was haunted by ridicule, endless nicknames, mockery. The boys scoffed: “I won’t sit at the same desk with this ugly woman!” I started to hate myself, became shy, downtrodden. She dropped out of university, as she could not concentrate on her studies due to constant depression and depression.

After I fell in love unrequitedly with a guy who, as I accidentally found out, said behind his back that he had nothing against me, but I was just terribly ugly, and he would not meet with me, she wanted to commit suicide. I gave up everything, lost all desire to live. However, she overcame herself and found a job. There, I accidentally overheard a conversation of work colleagues who discussed me, called me as terrible as an atomic war. Crocodile, scary, ugly - in ten years of such reviews about myself, I stopped feeling like a man.

The consolations that they say appearance is not the main thing do not help much - until I met a guy who would prefer an ugly-looking girl to a pretty one. Not everyone mocked me at all - but friendly relations - that's all you can count on. Love, sex - apparently, this is for others, not for people like me. At 21, I'm still a virgin. There were some cases when they offered sex, but these were men older than me, completely uninteresting, who did not even try to please me, but simply expected that someone like me would not refuse, no courtship was needed.

One even openly said about me: "And this freak still poses like God knows what." Apparently, people like me have nothing to rely on love, compliments, courtship. I feel like nobody. I'm tired of life. I just don't see the point anymore. Probably, people like me sooner or later get used to their ugliness and live. I can not. I can't feel inferior, ugly, tired of being neglected as a woman. When I see pretty peers who are surrounded by fans and attention, I am ready to scream in desperation.

How to live with an ugly appearance? To live and not to exist? Thank you if you've read all of this.

Lida

Of course, this can only be your opinion, which is actually far from the truth. It's rare to meet really ugly people. It is important to understand that everyone has their own characteristics, and to perceive their far-fetched or real shortcomings precisely as features.

I consider myself ugly, how to be

Once Coco Chanel, who is now considered an icon of style, said: "If a woman is ugly, then she is simply stupid." Even in those days, there were many ways to highlight your best sides, and de-emphasize your shortcomings. At the present time, the fair sex has many opportunities to improve their appearance.

Realize that if you are ugly, then this is your choice. Want to get more compliments and love your reflection in the mirror? So, you need to act! Determine what features you are unhappy with, make a plan with points in which you write down how you can fix this or that problem. Now, with this plan in place, get to work!

Complexes or imperfect appearance

In fact, your lack of confidence in your own appearance can only be a complex that someone once instilled in you. You were pointed out to some kind of "flaw" and you believed in it.

Many of your "imperfections" that you are embarrassed by people may not notice at all or may not consider them as such. Such self-doubt speaks of low self-esteem, and a visit to a psychologist can normalize the situation.

Probably, many have heard stories about stars who, having a beautiful appearance, remained dissatisfied with themselves or complexed about their passing youth, going under the knife of a plastic surgeon. As a result, the appearance, which seemed to be the reference for millions of people, was simply spoiled. Such celebrities include Renee Zellweger, Lara Flynn Boyle, Melanie Griffith, Meg Ryan and many others. Surely, these women decided on the operation, ceasing to consider themselves beautiful. Look at the photos of these actresses before plastic surgery, and make sure that their claims to themselves were very far-fetched.

How to understand that you are a beautiful girl

One of the main criteria in this matter is the compliments of others. If people periodically point out the advantages of your appearance, then apparently you are really beautiful.

There are simply no certain patterns of beauty. The ideal changes every decade, and each culture has completely different ideas about female beauty.

However, note that beauty does not always carry charisma, charm, sexuality, or intelligence. It is wonderful if you have undeniable external and internal virtues, but if you are deprived of physical beauty, you can be no less successful in all areas of life than written beauties.

Surely, you have often heard stories about how men leave their beautiful wives for the sake of seemingly completely inconspicuous persons. Many people ask: “What did he find in her?”, However, when you watch such women live, everything becomes obvious - they are so charming, smart, sexy and attractive that the external “commonness” ceases to be such.

And this effect happens quite often. You may hear about some woman that he is very beautiful, but when you see her in the first second, you do not understand the general enthusiasm. When you begin to observe such a woman, you suddenly also begin to notice her beauty. It's all about charm - they are not born with it, but actively develop it.

How to love yourself if I'm fat

If excess weight really upsets you, then there is only one way out - to get rid of it. Perhaps you think that you are doing everything possible, but the hated kilograms remain in place. So it's not true, and you're not doing your best, in other words, you're not trying hard enough.

Girls who cannot lose weight are either not motivated enough or have health problems. To exclude the second option, be examined by an endocrinologist, nutritionist, gastroenterologist.

Set yourself a deadline for losing weight. For example, you can read the stories of girls who lost their personal weight. There are many groups of this orientation in VK, where you can see the results “Before” and “After”, and make sure that with the right degree of desire and perseverance, you can also find the desired forms.

What to do if I have an ugly face (long nose, bad skin, small breasts)

Many believe that at least 50 percent of beauty is completely different qualities - not at all the nose or chest. If you have well-groomed hair, clean skin, healthy teeth and a slender body, then you can at least be considered a pretty girl or woman. All these points are quite achievable if you really want it.

There are several large sites on the Internet where girls leave detailed reviews with photographs of how they managed to grow their hair or bring it to its perfect condition. There you will also find information about skin care, sports activities and healthy diets.

Also on the Internet there is a lot of information on how to visually smooth out certain imperfections.

Plastic surgery is the way

If this is not enough for you, and some part of the body or face is seriously poisoning your life, it looks like it's time to think about surgery. Many women, for example, having undergone rhinoplasty, admit that they are very sorry that they did not take this step earlier. Contact a specialist and find out his opinion - do you really need an operation.

Consider possible risks. If plastic surgery remains your only option, choose your clinic carefully. Look for real reviews, try to get in touch with the institution's clients through a social network, asking them about all the "pitfalls" of the operation. Often, such interventions are not cheap, and if you do not have the required amount, then this is not a reason to be upset. Many clinics carry out the operation on credit, "breaking" the payment into several payments.

I don't like my height - am I too tall or short

No matter how tall you are, look for the good in it. High and low growth are good in their own way. Tall girls often envy petite girlfriends, and those, on the contrary, are dissatisfied with their petiteness, dreaming of adding more than a dozen centimeters in height.

To make it easier to gain self-confidence, find information about celebrities who are about the same height as you. They often look great and don't seem to have any self-esteem issues. See what these stars are wearing, what style and hairstyles they prefer, and try to get closer to these canons.

How to live an ugly woman

What to do to love yourself

Realize that there is no second you in the world and that's great! Perhaps your appearance really has some flaws, but why did you decide that they deserve more attention than your virtues?

Pay attention to your strengths, emphasize them, and focus on them. Behave confidently, and this will favorably affect the attitude of others. Probably, many girls have noticed such a phenomenon: a girl who is ugly in your opinion behaves confidently and even a little defiantly, and at the same time she has a wonderful personal life, and many fans seek her attention. Self-confidence sometimes attracts much more than external beauty.

Tricks of make-up and reincarnations with the help of clothes

There are many videos on the Web that clearly demonstrate how even the most nondescript person can turn into a magazine cover model after applying makeup correctly. Now there are many techniques, cosmetic products and salon procedures available that can significantly change the appearance for the better. Watch some video tutorials and you will understand that these skills are not difficult to master at all!

Clothing, like makeup, is designed not only to hide nudity from others and escape the cold, but also to draw attention to your winning sides, emphasize skin tone, visually enhance hair color, add or hide volumes in the right places and the like.

Determine your color type according to numerous tables on the Internet and read which shades suit you. It is quite possible that earlier, for some reason, you avoided, for example, pink, without even suspecting that combinations with it are the most suitable for you.

Examples of successful imperfect stars (movie or Hollywood) who became famous because of or despite their imperfections

There are many women in the world who cannot boast of a perfect appearance, but very few pay attention to it. However, if there are such, then these women do not care about their opinion, because they have achieved fame, recognition and success, despite criticism. Let's talk about some of them.

This woman is successful, rich and has many fans around the world. What made her so? At first glance, it is difficult to call the face of this actress ideal, but when you start to watch how she speaks, looks, moves, laughs, you forget that her appearance is not ideal.

In the 60s of the last century, she even played in the film "Funny Girl". This is a biographical film about the real person of Fanny Brice, who, despite many features of her appearance (strabismus, big nose, etc.), managed to become a real Broadway star. Barbara saw many similarities with Fanny in herself, but, like the prototype of the film, Streisand managed to achieve success, despite external shortcomings.

When Winnie was a child, she often had to catch other people's eyes on herself, and the reason for this was her Vitiligo disease. The girl had to face ridicule and insults, and she no longer expected anything good from life until she pulled herself together and showed willpower. Having matured, the Jamaican native went to the show "America's Next Top Model", instantly captivating its creators. The girl managed to become famous in America and abroad, having entered into many expensive contracts. Now she is in demand, successful and famous, but once people around her called her a cow, because of the white spots on the dark skin of her face and body.

Now this graceful Englishwoman regularly flashes on large screens, being for many women the standard of elegance. Surely, for Tilda herself, it is strange to be in such a status, because, according to her, in her childhood she was not perceived as a girl. The actress notes that she decided to "turn off sexuality", but this did not save her from the attention of the public, and it's all about incredible charisma!

The popular actress has heard criticism from her childhood and continues to hear it to this day, but this did not stop her from becoming a world-famous star. Moreover, he is a happy mother and wife. In addition, in her youth, Parker was in a long-term relationship with one of the first beauties of Hollywood - Robert Downey Jr., and today she is a real style icon!

Hello. Tell me, how to live with an ugly appearance? The thing is, it's terrible. This is not only my opinion, other people often tell me about this .. even my loved one said that I am not beautiful on the outside, but beautiful on the inside. Although it is believed that all people are beautiful in their own way .. or the fact that the inner world is more important, in my opinion this is all nonsense. Like it or not, but people first of all pay attention to appearance. Outwardly beautiful people are more loved, a positive attitude towards them subconsciously develops. It is a fact. And not beautiful people like me, it's hard to live. I have many complexes. I was often teased as a child. I don't know how to live with it. I have a huge nose, there is no way to do without plastic surgery, but my parents are against it. I don’t understand why .. why other people can enjoy life, have many fans, but I can’t. Lately I have stopped believing in God. Since such injustice is happening in the world, it means that He does not exist. Apparently I'm just unlucky.
Support the site:

Olya, age: 17/28.06.2013

Responses:

Ridiculously upset because of beauty. Do you think better what kind of person you are, why you fell in love? In a person, the most important thing is his actions - and not appearance. I'm not handsome either - so what? But I have a wife and daughter whom I love very much and they me. That's why I live! There are no perfect people, and you don't need to listen to those fools who laugh at you. You decide who you are and no one else. Just enjoy life and ignore others. LIFE IS GIVED ONLY ONCE!!!
)))

Ryoidenshi, age: 22/28/06/2013

Dear Olya, hello!
It seems to me that all people - both women and men, know this feeling when they are dissatisfied with their appearance. And even more so at your age. Therefore, firstly, you are not alone in your experiences, and secondly, it is clear from this that some of these people want to assert themselves by speaking badly about others. Do not pay attention to such words. I'm sorry if I say something wrong - I don't know the whole situation - but in my opinion "beloved person" certainly shouldn't say unpleasant things. On the other hand, you see, you, it turns out, also have a fan) who liked you not only internally (which, by the way, is much more important), but also externally, since, in your opinion, they initially pay attention to appearance.
You can correct your appearance without plastic surgery, try to highlight your eyes and lips with makeup, this will divert attention from your nose if you don’t like it so much. You can also choose a hairstyle so that it visually corrects the flaws. But the most important thing is still not in this, you need to love and respect yourself!
And it is very important to turn to God. Read the Gospel, go to church, pray for something good. God is waiting for each of us and wants to accept us. Read the parable of the prodigal son, whose return his father rejoiced so much.
I wish you all the best. Happiness to you, sincere love - for God, neighbors and adequate love for yourself. Everything will be fine!

Marigold, age: 06/19/2013

Olya, in vain you are so worried about appearance. Even though I used to worry too. And then I realized that happiness does not depend on appearance. I have seen couples many times, the girl is not at all beautiful, her nose is crooked, etc., but it is clear that there is love between them. And there are also very beautiful single girls in the world ... Who can’t get married in any way. Nevertheless, the main thing for guys when choosing a life partner is character, spiritual qualities, and then beauty. So don't worry, you have a boyfriend, you can be happy for you. Apperciate things which you have.

Pooh, age: 25/29.06.2013

Good evening. Girl, I know exactly what complexes are. I couldn’t look at the mirror. In the subway, I thought that everyone was looking at me. This was already unbearable. I turned to God, prayed day and night. With vemin suddenly stopped paying attention. In general, no complexes. And everything started to get better. believe in God do not doubt do not sin and understand what I am saying. don’t pay me a fanatic, but these thoughts come from demons. good luck to you

Anar, age: 32 / 29.06.2013

Olya, firstly, it’s not about appearance - I know many examples of beautiful women whose husbands left for less attractive ones, appearance becomes boring ... I had a friend at school - an incredibly beautiful girl, all the boys were in love with her ... smart girl, from a good family .. yes, fate turned out to be difficult - she fell in love at the age of 15, met for many years ... got married ... her husband drinks, walks, drugs, children with disabilities ... I saw her a couple of years ago, the same features, she hasn’t aged much ... but he pulled the beauty out of her, shook her whole soul out ... but she could have hooked anyone, it was only worth looking at ... fate seems to be like that .. you have a loved one, appreciate it. And your nose - you'll be 18 soon, your parents won't tell you... your nose, whatever you want, do with it :)

Mila, age: 35 / 06/29/2013

Olya,
If you want nose surgery, then it's up to you, not your parents. The only thing is, you need to find money for the operation and a good surgeon.
They teased many in childhood and you are not the only one who has such problems.

sk , age: 33 / 06/29/2013

Do not be born beautiful, but be born happy. Over time, you will love yourself the way you are, the main thing is that the guy loves you and your loved ones too, because sometimes a girl is beautiful and completely alone, men look only at her appearance, she is a toy for them. beauty is not for long, a beautiful inner you have the world and it’s good, just don’t forget about makeup, beautiful clothes and believe me you will be much prettier. worry less about it, if God has deprived you of beauty, then he will give you something else. look for the meaning of life in something else, love your loved ones , help people, develop yourself. do not despair)

Anya, age: 17/29.06.2013

Deer dear! Well, don’t worry like that .. If you are physically healthy, then this is the main thing .. That's when health will go from this hassle, and so I will
I assure you, I’ve come to this .. Then it will really be a problem .. And now you need to calm down and understand, but we often don’t like ourselves and
others .. Firstly, no one gave us such a commandment .. Secondly, the whole world is in Photoshop and plastic. Who actually looks like you can’t make out) People
lose their individuality .. Around the same women dolls on the same face. There is no spiritual world inside, such a woman is not suitable for a family. But all sorts
preoccupied with such rush but not for long. ..But everyone is probably given something of their own for this life ..Everyone has something special ..And if you already have
beloved person, it means that he found in you something important for himself. Well, what does he say there that you are not beautiful, he just feels your lack of self-confidence. And
you be smarter, take it and stop complexing and pretend that you are generally the best and that you know it .. Yes, it's not easy, but nothing
succeed..If he tells you something about appearance, confidently put him in his place..Be independent..Study and get a good job..This is for you
will give strength and confidence ... And about the operation and so on .. First get on your feet. Stop letting yourself be humiliated and then see if anything can happen
will change .. I hug and wish peace and joy in my soul) Be happy Olya!

Olya also forgot to write here .. you write that people tell you that you are terrible .. Well, what kind of people are they? What normal person would say that .. I don't
I'm just guessing, who are you talking to? Because of your complexes, you allow yourself to communicate with such people and still allow them to humiliate you. you think
why do you need such people nearby and what connects you .. Perhaps it's just your fear of being alone .. Drive such friends, calmly of course without pretension .. Just
look from the side how they relate and draw conclusions ... Remember, do not let anyone humiliate you. If this happens, these are no longer friends ..

Kiriena, age: 36 / 06/29/2013

Hey! There is a joke in which the truth is: "Why are women with small breasts happier than those with large ones? - Yes, because they are definitely not loved for their boobs."
I'm quite serious: "Why do you need a lot of fans if you have a loved one?! Don't you think this is a betrayal? No serious boy
will be with you if you are supportive of attention from others. Beloved appreciates the inner beauty in you. For him, you are the best. Great! What else do you need
you, Olenka? To sprinkle the path with roses?! Window dressing is also fanfaronism. Spilling money for show. But having a stash for a rainy day is a concern.
You don't have to be jealous of others. There are a lot of people around the party girls, but they are constantly changing. No relative. By the way, they usually get married late or not at all.
come out: there is no longer the strength and desire to communicate with a man, there is no habit of constancy and duties ... And life is mostly everyday life. To be happy
one must first of all love an ordinary simple life, work and a few close people.
Everyone was teased in childhood and in their youth they whispered something nasty behind their backs. So, what is next? Suffer forever, right?
With age, people get smarter, behave differently, but not all. Is someone's lack of brains your problem? Why should this interfere with your happiness?

Elena Ordinary, age: 37 / 06/29/2013

You are actually much better than you think to yourself. I'm sure of it. You just need to believe in yourself.

Melanie, age: 36 / 06/29/2013

Even beautiful people feel bad and they also have their own complexes. And those people who turn a blind eye to their shortcomings are lucky and enjoy life! If you have a big nose, then do a beautiful hairstyle, make-up, dress beautifully and feel 100%! How you feel is how people will treat you.
I also have a lot of complexes, and when I was told this phrase before: “How you feel, people will treat you like that,” I didn’t understand how this was possible, but then I tried it and was surprised at the result!
I just woke up, went to the shower, did makeup, hair,... (not necessarily causing makeup, dressing and doing super hairstyles - you just need to tint your eyes a little, lips with a gloss, for example, do the so-called home hair styling, dress beautifully and to you were comfortable and that's it - YOU ARE A PRINCESS!) After that, I did not look at myself much in the mirror so as not to notice the flaws - acne, pimples, small lips, .. And I went for a walk. On this day, 2 guys complimented me and 1 came up to meet me!
You just need to believe, believe that you are beautiful, that you are feminine, that you have a beautiful smile, that your nose is a normal size ... and then others will believe in it! Love yourself, love life, be kind, considerate,...
Moreover, you have a boyfriend, which means that you have a person to whom you can open up, who will support and protect you at the right moment. Therefore, you are not so unhappy! Look at life positively!
And you don't have to do any surgery! Of course, this is a personal matter for everyone, and I don’t want and I won’t tell you, but still it’s better not to. Your boyfriend, your friends love and accept you for who you are. And don't be ashamed of it! Maybe your nose isn't that big. Perhaps this is your so-called highlight.
Believe that only those people who believe in themselves and love themselves, no matter what, enjoy life. Let them have a big nose, small eyes, irregularly shaped lips, .. BUT they love themselves! And you LOVE YOURSELF DESPITE ANYTHING!!!

Dorothy, age: 15/29.06.2013

"Beautiful-looking people are more loved" ... Olya, are you sure about that? Beautiful people are envied, and often with black envy. Models and actresses intrigue each other, one model even had sulfuric acid poured into her face, just out of envy, so that she would stop participating in a beauty contest. So there are different situations. External beauty is not only a gift, but also a test for a person. I once read a girl's letter "I don't want to be beautiful" on one of the sites. She said that all the problems in life are because of her beauty. The girls envy her, they are not friends with her, she cannot hold out for a long time at work, because. the less beautiful female team rots her, the men all pester, or consider her a whore, the boss offers a bed. It happens. So, it is better not to be beautiful, but to be average in appearance. I have noticed more than once that beautiful girls are often arrogant, arrogant, capricious, angry. And not particularly beautiful girls are sweet, kind, the light of kindness comes from their faces, and this is much more attractive than just beautiful facial features. And you, I'm sure, have your own charm and charm. My boyfriend also told me that my face is not beautiful, but cute. It offended me at first, but he loves me for my soul, and threw girls more beautiful than me, just to be with me. By the way, you are still very young, and teenagers and youths first of all see appearance. But over the years, this passes, and in a person his inner qualities begin to be appreciated. Think Olya! And higher nose!

TanyaT, age: 28 / 30.06.2013

Oh, what's the real problem?
Young healthy - everything is ahead. There is an MCH who loves. Why sit and wind yourself up?
Do you think beauty matters? The main thing is health, inner peace and a harmoniously developed personality.
I am beautiful, but because of the illness, there were no friends left, and soon beauty too .. And all my life I had problems with my friends, because people are envious. And the guys .... somehow they were unlucky .... the wrong ones came across.
In addition to appearance, there is also a soul.

Nyuta, age: 07/29/2013

Olya, unfortunately, every person has problems in life that have to be overcome: someone has poor health, someone could not get a normal education, someone else got relatives with a completely unbearable character ... I'm sure that you are a sweet, pretty girl, but at the age of 17 very few people like their appearance. Try to go to a stylist, sign up for a fitness club, sew yourself a completely stunning dress .. The more such small “steps” to improvement, the less unpleasant thoughts about your appearance will appear. I have a girlfriend - a girl in the literal sense dazzling appearance. Some even called her the Venus de Milo ... But alas - at 33, she is not married, has no children, and in general - no male close person ... And the other friend is clearly overweight, small, with a large nose - dearly loved by her husband, their marriage for more than 15 years, there is a daughter. So - a bright appearance is far from a guarantee of a successful and happy life, no matter how the hosts of all fashionable sentences try to convince us of this and "take it off immediately"

Anna, age: 33 / 07/02/2013

Olya, hello!
there is no justice in the world - it's a fact. It is also good to realize that there is no beginning that controls destinies, leads people somewhere - no. Do cats think about what their fate is? What about elephants and rhinos? It's comical, but I mean that a person, in fact, is the same biological species, but with a developed intellect and psyche, and therefore bothers about justice and his fate.

Your appearance, your face was largely determined by a combination of parental genes. No luck - yes, most likely, that's right. Tritely unlucky, happens to everyone. Someone is born healthy, beautiful and in a rich family, and someone is sick, ugly and in poverty. For the first, all the delights of life are immediately available, and for the second, if he plows a lot, persistently and purposefully to solve his problems, he will only have a chance to possess all these charms.

At the same time, I think that the majority already really understands that it is not worth underestimating the importance of appearance for building relationships and a healthy psyche. The face - the most individual part of a person - is of great importance in all this.

So, life dealt us cards. Someone - trump cards, someone - a younger variety. The point is to replace weak cards with strong ones.
You can whine about how ugly I am, but you can do everything to improve the situation, but you will have to change your attitude to what cannot be changed. =) And, finally, something can be compensated for by other strengths. I'll start from the first.
1. Hairstyle. 2. Makeup. 3. Skin care. 4. Dental services. 5. Vision correction. 6. Plastic surgery of the face. These are just some of the ways to improve the appearance of your face. If your soul does not harmonize with your face, work on the latter as much as possible. Yes, it takes money and time. Yes, the effect of something is not guaranteed. But who said it would be easy? If you want to live fully - forward to changes for the better. The phrase "be yourself" refers primarily to your inclinations, predispositions, character (although the latter also needs to be worked on). But not for looks. Therefore, in my opinion, if the face is not very satisfying, and there are no contraindications against plastic surgery, then why not do it? Suddenly, just this little thing (on the scale of life) is the key to the beginning of your happiness?

Unfortunately, with the current level of technology, not everything can be changed. Therefore, something will have to change its attitude. Accept yourself just like that. You will also have to work on this psychologically, but there is no other way. The state of inner harmony that you achieve will make you much more beautiful in the eyes of others than if you take a steam bath and complex about some features of your appearance.

And finally, compensation is another powerful weapon on the road to success. Your appearance is not only your face, it is also your body, clothes, accessories, etc. And here, as you know, there is much more room for improvement. =) Don't be lazy, take care of your figure, update your wardrobe (albeit not right away). A great figure and carefully selected clothes will greatly improve your appearance. The ideal female body is, believe me, an incredible temptation for any man. But it just takes a lot of work! Fitness, skin care, tanning - it can be difficult to manage all this with our rhythm of life, but you can definitely allocate half an hour every day.

And this applies not only to the figure and clothes. You can become an interesting interlocutor, and learn a competent dialogue, such that men will be crazy about communicating with you...

1) change in the appearance of the face;
2) work on achieving inner harmony;
3) the development of other aspects of your physical, intellectual and spiritual components -

These are, albeit difficult, ways to achieve happiness. Develop a plan, work on each of the areas, evaluate the results, make adjustments, MANAGE YOUR LIFE.

Think about it well. I hope this will help you get on the path of development and achieve significant results.

P.S. And remember that fullness in life is in emotions. And vivid emotions can be obtained not only from communication with the opposite sex. ;)

Emperor , age: 02/23/2014


Previous request Next request
Return to the beginning of the section

I can not go on. I'm a freak This cannot be changed. I was born a freak.
They say: "God marks the rogue." But why me? What did I do wrong? I didn't do anything wrong until I was born. And here - like this.
It's painful. To understand that you are a freak, and always will be, until the end of your stupid existence. Yes, "life in general is unfair", this is understandable. Well, for some, life is a sunny holiday from the first day to the last. Let's consider them lucky, well, good. And for others, life means crawling through humiliation to death.
I don't have enough strength. I can no longer hear the endless mockery of myself, this laughter. It cuts through every nerve of mine.
What is destined for me is to be somewhere aside, in the shadows, in the darkness of humiliation and shame, and there, through the mud, crawl to the end, having eaten a ton of humiliations along the way.
I can no longer see the embarrassed (and frightened) silence of people when their gaze accidentally falls on me. And - what is most unbearable of all, pity in some eyes, kind, kind people. I can not do it anymore. I ruin everyone's holiday. I shouldn't be here, I don't fit into society's dress code. Why, I don't understand. Maybe it all makes sense. But I'm hurt, and scared, and lonely, and I don't know why all this is necessary.
Nothing shines for me. Family, children, all this is not about me. Who will live with me, who wants children from me?
I see how all ordinary people get families, children ... however, their lives are also often filled with pain and sorrow, well, yes, one more proof that the world is a terrible place. And there are people who are worse than me, because there are. Why so? And what to do?
I don't know what else to write.
Support the site:

Denis, age: 20 / 28.08.2013

Responses:

Hello, Denis! I want to tell you that in one you are already more fortunate than most people. You have an understanding of this world, and many people live and have children just like that, because it is accepted, and do not even understand their own happiness. Each person has his own destiny, and the fact that you are not like others does not mean that you cannot be happy. You don't have to compare yourself to others, you don't have to justify your existence! It is not you who are wrong, but our society that has created all these prejudices and stereotypes. Yes, you have to face all this, and it is very difficult. But a lot depends on you! You have the right to live and be happy. Why? Because all people are different, I mean not only appearance, but also characters, aspirations, views. Believe me, any person sooner or later finds his love, and there are many examples of this, no matter what they say in words, and life shows that appearance does not matter for relationships. Now it seems to you that you are alone and will always be so, but you will find your happiness. Know that in any situation you can find profitable sides and confidently move forward and achieve success. I work in the psychology of social relationships and would be happy to support you.

Irina, age: 22 / 28.08.2013

Denis, your task is to become happy DESPITE all this. Are you sure that your happiness is in the family, in children? Should everything be like everyone else? Or shouldn't...?
“Could it all make sense?” you ask. Naturally there is. "What did I do wrong?" So why did you have to be guilty? Maybe for the solution of those tasks with which you came here, this appearance is optimal.
Are you humiliated? No one in this world can humiliate us, except ourselves... Why do I humiliate myself with the help of these people? - that's the right question. A question that immediately helps you take responsibility for your life. There is something in your character that attracts the offender. If you change your character, the offenders will disappear.
"Life is generally unfair" - A blatant deception. Whoever suggested this to you is leading you by the nose. In general, the concept of justice ... What is this justice?
There is what I like and what I don't like. If a person does something that I don't like, is he acting unfairly? Complete nonsense. Or I, doing something, expect one result, but get another. So something I did not take into account in my actions, maybe there was not enough knowledge, but what does justice have to do with it?
"What is destined for me is to be somewhere aside, in the shadows, in the darkness of humiliation and shame, and there, through the mud, crawl to the end, having eaten a ton of humiliations along the way." "According to your word, so be it." The universe has no sense of humor. Everything will be done exactly. Let's do it the other way around - "What is meant for me is to be always needed, always to be in the light, to bring light to people, illuminating my life and the lives of others with love. Until the end of my days, bring the light of goodness and love ...". What do you think? And now the final phrase- According to my word, so be it. And say it with faith that it is.
"I shouldn't be here, I don't fit into society's dress code." Appearance is just a wrapper. You are very materialistic. But you are more than your shell. I would not tell you this if every day I did not meet people with a beautiful appearance and such inner ugliness that I deeply sympathize with them. After all, they think that they are in order ... And it is already scary to be in the same room with them. And by old age, neither appearance nor what remains behind the soul, and then what?
Non-standard appearance ... non-standard thinking ... non-standard behavior ... And who determined these "standards"? Someone has determined what we should or shouldn't be... Doesn't that seem strange to you? Feelings, emotions are adjusted to the general standards. Here you are "prescribed" to feel unhappy, well, it's supposed to be in the script. There is a weapon against "scripts" - laughter. Good humor. Dispels any darkness. Try.

Katya, age: \\ / 28.08.2013

Everything happens in this life .. Yes, you are like that, but you are also a person and have every right to happiness. Exactly the same as all people. The most important thing in this life is to find yourself. Find a job that you want to do.. it can be anything.. you can't communicate with people because of your appearance, but life doesn't end there..! Read smart books - you can take a lot from them. Listen to music .. I don’t know, anything, but just don’t turn sour.) and remember that in this world nothing is accidental, everything has its own purpose. I remember once, I watched how guys who had no legs from birth danced on their hands, so much so that it was breathtaking .. yes, maybe they have an inferior life, by the way they were from children at home, but they brought something into this world, and you know what? Looking at them - you want to live, to do something, you understand that people with disabilities have achieved something, but what is stopping you? Prove to others, and most importantly to yourself, that you can do something. Surely there is a business that you love to do? Everything will be fine, don't be sad

Anyutka, age: 08/16/2013

Denis, I have not seen your photos, it seems to me that it is not the appearance that is to blame, but catastrophically low self-esteem. When I read all this, I introduced myself like this Quasimodo, but I very much doubt that you look like him. Are you being teased by classmates, were you teased by classmates? Me, too, if anything, and I have a normal appearance, I just didn’t fit in)
What specifically is wrong with your appearance?

ks, age: 27/28.08.2013

Dennis, what is your problem? Why do you consider yourself a freak? Do not be silent. maybe they can help you here.
I see a literate and a lot of reading person with a good style.

Kriptan, age: 42 / 08/28/2013

Denis, it depends only on you "to be somewhere on the sidelines, in the shadows, in the darkness of humiliation and shame, and there, through the mud, crawl to the end, gobbling up a ton of humiliations along the way" or live and enjoy life. Do not pay attention to those who look at you on the street, they are just stupid, uneducated people. "I don't fit into society's dress code," what are you talking about? What's the dress code? All people are different. “Who will live with me, who will want children from me?”, And this is not for you to decide. And the girl who loves you, not for appearance, for your soul.

Natalia, age: 08/23/2013

Who are these people who are laughing at you. These are moral freaks. You don't have to worry about their opinion. In terms of communication, you can also communicate on the Internet and who knows how it will end. Armless and legless Nick Vuychich is married, let them talk, they also showed a similar story "Incredible Love", look. You did not write anything about the disease, perhaps medicine can somehow help. Plastic surgeons are doing wonders these days.

Alexey, age: 08/28/2013

Hi Denis, I have a friend with Down syndrome, he is very complex because of this, this is understandable because he knows that he is not like everyone else. And there are some other knitting needles in his legs to keep his balance, without them he would fall constantly , special shoes, probably size 37. He is not shy about taking pictures, though sometimes he covers his face with his hand, so it’s a habit. he’s a cool guy, he’s 34, everyone loves him, he flirts with girls, many reciprocate, he is very kind, responsive it’s easy for him, he goes to bars, even engages in some kind of martial arts, which is not surprising. It’s all about how you feel about it yourself. life, yourself, people around you, then everything will change. It’s not you who are freaks, freaks are those who think so, but you don’t have to be angry with them. Change your attitude towards yourself, and soon you will see that there are people who are interested in you, and the more you you will change, the more there will be such people. each of us has his own path and his own chair so love yourself and the people around you and everything will work out. Study the Bible, there is Light.

Igor, age: 08/33/2013

Hello Denis, I'm only 14, but I already know what humiliation is, a pitiful look, etc. Everyone on earth has their own soul mate, so it can't be that a person doesn't find it (him). Just live and don't pay attention to them Attention.

Anya, age: 14 / 28.08.2013

Hi Denis. You know, I don't even know what to write myself. After all, pity in the eyes of good people hurts you the most. And I have just sincere, deep sympathy to tears. It's the same pity. Not arrogant, but sincere, when the pain is like her own. And as long as you see pain and pity in the eyes of other people, then this world is not so finished. Sometimes I really want to be pitied... And you know, everything is relative. Our whole external world is so arranged that external ugliness (which is also relative) simply makes a person more vulnerable than internal ugliness, believe me, more common. But you don't know what happens inside outwardly ordinary people. And there is hell. Yes, you are right. A child and a wife do not make everyone happy, and some even vice versa. You know, I have a girlfriend. Since childhood, she has a serious disease - all the skin is in blisters, bursting and oozing. The girl is 24 years old. And even though she is a girl, she did not despair. She is sure that she will find a companion (yes, not a written handsome man), but a guy with similar problems and she will not care what he looks like, because something else will be important to them. And I believe that it will. And together with their cozy world, filled with real spirituality, and not the pursuit of clothes and spas, they will also give birth to children. In any case, she really wants to. And raise them to be real people. Denis, I'm almost sure that your ugliness is exaggerated, and that it can certainly be reduced. And set, for example, a goal to earn money for plastic surgery or something else. Yes, the world is unfair, but we can make it at least a little better. Today I climbed onto the site because my despair is choking me. And in order not to cry, I decided that I would rather spend at least 15 minutes helping someone. We also have a shelter for homeless animals at home. Shelter a being who doesn't care what you look like and who will look at you with only loving eyes. And your life will no longer be in vain. I think there are people here who agreed to exchange their fatal disease or their child's disease for any of their ugliness. Think about it. And believe me, the temple will help a lot. Confession, communion, communication with the priest. You will see how much will change. For example, pride will not be such that looks will hurt you. You won't care. And to people who look with sympathy, you will be grateful for the fact that they have a soul. Just believe. I hug you and believe that you are still a very handsome young man with a sensitive soul, undead and capable of much.

Love, age: 34 / 08/28/2013

Denis, it may seem to you that they somehow look at you differently. It happens to me, for example, if something is wrong, it seems that everyone pays attention to it. And on
in fact, most people don't care. And even if so, try to smile at someone, speak - and they will understand that you are no worse
others.
I don't know what's the matter with you, but, in any case, it shouldn't interfere with enjoying life. I have a facial tic and when one day I just forgot it was
exists and has become more open, the people around - acquaintances, employers - also stopped paying attention.

Wish you happiness!

Evgeniya, age: 09/23/2013

I have nothing to answer. The same situation. I feel the same. We are not alone.
I console myself with the thought that everything will come with money. All girls are taken ABSOLUTELY AND EXCLUSIVELY FOR APPEARANCE AND MONEY.
I'll live until 30, and then I'll see.
We are not alone.
peace.

Anatoly, age: 10/19/2013

Denis, hello!!! I am the same. Every day I feel that I am not worthy of existing on earth among people. So beautiful and successful. Often I am even afraid to raise my eyes. Here's how.... People, many people are kind when being open... But most of the time I'm afraid to open up. And it is so important that you open up - and you are accepted for who you are. Probably for this and go to a psychologist. It is important to find people like yourself. And you are just like everyone else. That is, you feel the same that every person feels. Pain, insecurity, a feeling of being useless... It's just that everyone is silent about it, it's not customary to talk about it so that they don't consider you weak...

Ill, age: 22 / 22.10.2013

Boy, kill it. Just kill it. Everything has its time. Everything will be fine. I speak as an experienced freak.

Maxim, age: 28 / 23.10.2013

Hello Denis!
There is no need to look for the meaning or reasons for your ugliness, they simply are not there. If your ugliness cannot be cured, then just accept it. Look in the mirror more often, get used to your reflection. It is true what they say that until you love yourself, no one will love you.
It also helps to think that all the people who surround you in public transport and other places think only about themselves and their appearance. They don't care what you look like. Even if someone looks at you and feels disgust, what's the matter with that? what does it matter what they feel or think?
You can go headlong into work or study, load yourself so that there is no time to think about your ugliness. And when you reach heights in something, people begin to respect you and change their attitude, and most importantly, you yourself begin to respect yourself.
In short, you can live with anything, you still have time to lie in a dark corner alone with yourself in the next world. Life is very short, live, breathe deeply, try everything new, there are so many interesting things in the world, do not get hung up on your appearance.
And the family and children, well, it’s already lucky to say that you will have one hundred percent love, etc., well, this is an outright lie.

Oleg, age: 01/32/2014

You need to see a psychologist. There is so much beauty in the world. Need to switch. Riding horses helps a lot from depression, visiting a temple (I don’t know what faith you are), keeping a diary to write down what happens to you, find yourself a hobby, friends of interest. And you will have a calm state inside. You will fulfill yourself, you will be happy. I wish you never lose heart, especially since you have such trials. You are already stronger than other people.

mila, age: 05/38/2014


Previous request Next request
Return to the beginning of the section

Philosophy of beauty or how to live if you are unlucky with your appearance?

Many people would not refuse to have a more spectacular and beautiful appearance. It seems to them that happiness, health, career and money would simply come into their hands if their appearance were more beautiful. But is it really so? How do handsome men live, is it easy?

The article discusses some fun and important facts about beauty, which will undoubtedly be beneficial and will become a motivation for people to carefully monitor their appearance and their image.

Beautiful people earn more

It would seem that there is a connection between such phenomena as beauty and high earnings, but American scientists have found that tall, slender and attractive employees earn about 5 percent more than their ordinary-looking colleagues. Most often, this phenomenon is explained very simply by beautiful people who are more self-confident, more active and charismatic, they attract people to themselves and get more success in negotiations and when concluding contracts. So maybe it's not about beauty as such, but about self-love? Do not worry about those whom society considers not beautiful enough. You just need to love and appreciate yourself, and then others will appreciate you, including those who pay salaries.

Beautiful people are happier

These conclusions were also voiced by the Americans. And the happiness of handsome men, in their opinion, is based precisely on the fact that they earn more. Strange logic. Apparently Americans see happiness that way. Money is happiness. Another version is that handsome people also choose handsome men as partners. It is easier for beautiful people to start a family, but is their marriage so durable, this remains in question?

Beautiful men and women have higher IQs

This time the experiments were carried out by the British. Scientists have found that beautiful girls and girls have an IQ higher by 11.4 points, and beautiful boys and boys by 13.6 points. It was not possible to find out what caused the results of such an experiment, but the fact remains.

The left side of the face looks more harmonious

In fact, it is no secret that people's faces are not proportional. But scientists went further and experimentally proved that the left half of the face is much more proportional and symmetrical than the right. And how could it be useful? Yes, just taking pictures for social networks, there is no doubt which angle to choose for a successful result. By the way, you can buy a trimer for the nose and ears.

To attract a soul mate, it is enough to know one secret - to smile.

Here the matter is not about beauty as such, it is about a sincere smile. However, a smile helps only women. The fact is that women do not like smiling men, because a smile indicates a lack of masculinity and reliability of a man. On a subconscious level, women do not perceive such men as their future partner. But for women, a smile is the main weapon in the fight for a man's heart. Men love women with doll-like baby faces and a sincere sweet smile. So maybe it's not beauty, but sincerity and positive infusion?

Attractive people are more likely to forgive shortcomings

Scientists say that beautiful people are forgiven for many oddities and unexpected actions. And this is all out of curiosity, romantic motives, or simply because beautiful people are "pleasant to the eye." This is especially true for people of the opposite sex. A man is able to forgive a lot to a beautiful girl, but another woman is more likely to become an enemy and the main envious for the beauty.

These facts about beauty are certainly interesting, but contradictory and not proven. So the owners of a beautiful appearance may not be very happy, just like people with an ordinary appearance should not be upset for nothing.

Finally, we can give some advice to those who want to be successful in life, no matter how wonderful data nature has awarded them:

You need to love and respect yourself.


Always take care of your appearance, and enjoy it.


It is necessary to monitor your health and psychological infusion.


Learn to turn your shortcomings into highlights and virtues.


Increase confidence in yourself and your beauty.


You should not talk bad about yourself, people often perceive others not by their appearance, but by the way he positions himself.

These tips will help you love yourself and treat your own person with respect.

Whether a person is handsome or ugly is debatable.

But, a person radiating self-confidence, positive and good will always be in demand, loved and respected.