How to cultivate cruelty in yourself. Be firm in your decision. Rigidity and cruelty: different or the same type of things

Usually playing the role of villains is the most interesting thing. But in order to make your character truly frighteningly evil and believable, you have to work hard. If you don't know exactly how to play your evil role, start by working on the outer appearance, and only then move on to inner essence. When the appearance of an evil character is thoroughly worked out, it will be easier for you to concentrate on creating his sinister character.

Steps

Part 1

Pick the right clothes. Evil is usually associated with dark, ominous colors, so when designing a costume for an evil character, you need to start with this color palette. Black is the traditional choice, but any other dark tone, such as midnight blue or eggplant, are also suitable. Lean towards the choice of clothes with clear, straight lines of the silhouette. For example, for a man good choice a traditional, well-tailored costume will be the perfect fit, while a tight-fitting cocktail dress is perfect for an evil female character.

• Red tones are also good for an evil character costume, since red is usually associated with the devil. Tend to use a rich red if the character is fairly open, or a dark red-brown or brick color if the character is secretive enough.
• It does not hurt to also think about the material from which the suit should be made. Sinister characters are well suited to skin, so you might want to think about leather jacket, jacket or vest, or even additionally use trousers or a leather skirt.
• If a character's evil side is revealed unexpectedly at the play's climax, your costume doesn't need to be black from head to toe. Instead, create only subtle hints in your costume that the character might turn out to be bad, such as dressing up in a black T-shirt with plain jeans.

1. Consider the specific genre of the play. When designing your outfit, you need to consider the type of play or scene you're in, as well as the time period being portrayed. For example, both a villain from a western play and a villain from a futuristic fantasy play may wear black, but their outfits are likely to be very different from each other. Make sure your character's costume matches the style of the play and the time period it reflects.

   • If you're not quite sure what would be appropriate for your costume, check with movies or TV shows of a similar genre for ideas.
   • If the action takes place in a specific historical period, you can search the Internet for information about what clothing was like in that era so that your costume is historically correct.

2. Complete the look with sinister accessories. While your outfit is likely to be the most character-driven, some details can make your sinister look stand out. That's why it doesn't hurt to pick up some accessories to spice up your villain's look. For example, it can be angular jewelry, such as a collar or bracelet with spikes, which will enhance the sinister look. Leather gloves can also become the very accessory that will make the character's costume more sinister.

   • A scripted character may require special accessories, such as an eye patch, to make the character even more menacing.
   • Don't forget about weapons, such as a gun or a knife, that the character can use to harm others in the play.

3. Smooth your hair. Even though your character might suit whole line various hairstyles, slick hair is usually the traditional choice for this type of character. If you have short hair, you just need to use some styling product to smooth the hair to the head. If you have long hair, they can also be smoothed and pulled back into ponytail or tie in a bun.

   Apply dramatic smoky eyes. The creation of an ominous image is usually facilitated by the use of dark catchy makeup. Apply dark smoky eyeshadow with dark eyeshadow and boldly line your eyes with black eyeliner. Even a male character who doesn't wear a lot of makeup can look more sinister with a little eyeliner.

   Work on the contours of the face. If you make the face look more angular, the image will turn out to be more formidable and sinister. Contouring your cheeks will help with the task, so apply brown powder on your cheeks directly under the protrusions zygomatic bones, starting from the hollow where the cheek borders the ear and up to the level of the middle of the eye. If you are performing on stage, contour makeup should be applied in well-defined lines so that it is clearly visible.

   • Be sure to use this brown tone contour powder, which has shades of gray, so that the makeup looks more like a play of shadows on the face.
   • Apply contour powder with a small brush to define makeup lines.

4. Learn to make a sinister look. To get used to the image of a villain, it is very important to learn how to portray a characteristic evil look that should pierce the rest of the characters, and in some cases, the audience. Think about how other people look at you when they are angry and try to imitate their facial expressions. Start by narrowing your eyes and tensing your cheekbones. Don't forget to rehearse too eye contact with your stage partners, as your gaze should terrify their characters.

   • Try not to turn away or blink. Imagine that you are playing staring as your stage partners, this will help make your look more intimidating.
   • Working on the evil look in front of the mirror will bring it to perfection. It can also be tried out on friends and family so they can give you tips on how to make your look even more spectacular.

   Part 2

   Voice work

   1. Make your voice deeper. While a particular role may require a particular type of voice, villains usually have a deeper, guttural tone that makes them even more sinister. If you have a naturally low tone of voice, you probably won't need to change it much. However, with a high voice, you will need to try to make it lower and more sinister.

      • Determine the possibilities of your chest voice register by pulling the lowest note that is available to you. Then continue to speak in the same tone and put your hand on your chest to feel the vibrations of your voice. Repeat this exercise several times. You may find it helpful to record your own voice to evaluate how it sounds.
      • If you have trouble using your chest register, get down on the floor, get on all fours and lower your head. In this position, draw with your voice the lowest note available to you, which will not require much effort from you, and concentrate on the vibration of your chest to become aware of exactly how to speak in a deep voice.
      • Initially, practice pronunciation of your lines in a low voice to get used to speaking that way. It also helps to write down how you say your lines so that you have the opportunity to listen to yourself and, if necessary, change something for the better.

   2. Practice a sinister laugh. Most villains have a traditional sinister laugh that makes them especially intimidating. However, when you're trying to pick up a laugh for your own character, it's very important not to go overboard or the laugh will come out unnaturally forced. The key to creating an evil laugh is to make it last longer. long time. Especially deep or loud laughter can also seem more scary.

      • It's often easier to start with a low-pitched laugh and work your way up to getting louder and deeper.
      • The pace of the laugh can also help make it more sinister. For example, slowing down your usual laughter may well do the trick.
      • Think about the context of the scene in which the laughter occurs when deciding how it should sound. For example, a heartfelt joyful laugh in a scene where your character witnesses the death of an innocent person can sound very vicious.

   3. Learn to focus on the right words. When you're trying to play a villain, the way you say your lines is almost as important as the content. An evil character should emphasize words with intimidating overtones or make fun of other characters. For example, if you say to another character: “You are pathetic,” the word “pathetic” must necessarily sound sharp and sharp, as if you are actually trying to make the person suffer even more.

      • Reread the text of your role aloud so that you can more easily assess which words need to be emphasized in your voice. Highlight them in the text itself, so that later it will be easier for you to rehearse.
      • If you're not sure which words to emphasize, talk to the play director for advice and to make the most appropriate choice for your role.

   Part 3

   Working on expressing anger

   1. Work out several degrees of anger for your character. Of course, there is a lot of rage in the character of an evil character, but you cannot play all the scenes with equally uncontrollable anger. Instead, try to give the character varying degrees of malice, as required by the plot. For example, on initial stage As the story progresses, you can simply stare at another character to convey your slight annoyance. However, as you get closer to the climax of the story, your character may already begin to lose control, yell at other characters, and even show aggression. Vary the degree of manifestation of anger so that it does not seem that your hero is always on the same wavelength.

      • Try to understand what exactly makes your character angry in each scene. It is very important that this fit in your mind.
      • The degree of anger displayed should be in proportion to what is at stake. For example, if a character is on the verge of losing all of their abilities, their anger is likely to be at its peak. On the other hand, if the character was only insulted, he may show some kind of controlled anger.

   2. Show pleasure in other people's pain. Part of the image of the villain is that he derives satisfaction from the humiliation of others. When you play a villain, it's important to show how much pleasure your character takes in other people's suffering. This should be obvious even when you don't have any lines. For example, put on a smug smile on your face at the moment when another character cries or worries about a loved one.

      • If you have your back turned to the audience in a scene, laughing at another character's misfortune can be a good alternative to smiling.
      • In some cases, just keep watching another character suffer physical or emotional humiliation and the audience will see that you are enjoying the process.

   3. Make fun of other characters. When playing the role of a villain, you may encounter lines in which you taunt or ridicule another character. But even if there are no such lines, there are other ways to make fun of them to make it obvious that your character enjoys hurting other people and humiliating them. You can try to monkey around, shamelessly repeating the facial expressions and postures of other characters, or just make faces when they speak.

More tolerant, more loyal to others. Because many of us are surrounded by stress, because of which then there is a release of negativity on those who are not to blame for anything at all. But no, some want to become more aggressive. There are various reasons for this.

Who needs it?

The question of how to become evil is usually preoccupied by very pleasant and tactful people, whose kindness is brazenly used by others. At one point, their tolerance comes to an end, and they are eager to change the situation.

The man puts himself in front of difficult task- become the opposite of yourself. Naturally, difficulties cannot be avoided. You won't be able to become very evil all at once. It is as difficult as it is for an aggressive, irritable person to turn into a good-natured person.

By the way, it is not necessary to become evil. Many people confuse concepts. It's better to just get tougher. And in this case, the most important thing is to start saying “no”. It is difficult to refuse, especially when a person always said “yes”, agreeing to help, rescue, save a comrade.

When a colleague Once again will come up with a request that sounds like this: “Replace me tomorrow, my child has a matinee,” you just need to refuse. And to the surprised: “But you always agree?” - without smiling, answer: “I actually have a day off, which I have already planned (a).” This will cause bewilderment in the asker. Perhaps he will even whisper in someone's ear: “Something he is angry today,” but he is unlikely to come up with such a request again.

Motivation

To a kind person become evil, he needs a good reason. Of course, many people have sudden outbursts. Here a person thinks: “That’s it, I’m tired, I won’t help anyone anymore and forgive nothing!” But then somehow forgets about it and continues to be "Mother Teresa".

Need motivation. How to become evil? Just remember the reasons for this "need". You can even write them out: “Colleagues always leave me all the “dirty” work. When they are having fun, I stay up late at the office. I don’t get enough sleep, I can’t take care of my personal life. It's time to stop this. I still love myself." The principle is this, even if it's not about work. Here is a family example: “I am 30 years old, but I still do what my mother wants me to do. I can't resist her, she constantly tells me what to do. We need to change the situation - I don’t feel like a man and I can’t show myself like that in society.”

In general, in other words, a person must make a firm decision to change something. Plus, his confidence will be noticed by those around him who want to sit on his neck.

Moral support

She is always important. And even if a person is obsessed with the question of how to become evil, too. Do you have someone close to you to look up to? There must be a person who will be an excellent example. It can be remembered in particular difficult moments. Something like: “What would he do in such a situation? How would you do it? If there is no one from your inner circle, then you can find yourself a standard among famous people. Or characters. Why is the Terminator or Rambo not an example?

Also, don't underestimate yourself. Or, conversely, underestimate. But you definitely need to be prepared for difficulties - change is always difficult.

By the way, this should be done gradually, starting small. If suddenly a person shows up at work with a terrible grimace on his face, starts yelling at everyone from the doorway, after which he effectively kicks a chair and breaks the kettle, most likely they will call an ambulance psychological help. The example, of course, exaggerated, but the essence is clear. If, for example, a person is exploited by his boss, then today he needs to be denied a trip to the store for an energy drink for him. Tomorrow - give up overtime. A day later, return a stack of reports to him, which should be studied by a completely different employee. Gradually, the boss will understand that it simply will not work to exploit him anymore. The character is no longer the same.

What else do you need to know?

Sooner or later, a person who has achieved success in his goal will come to the realization: “I have become very angry (evil).” The desired has been achieved. Now the most important thing is not to overdo it with the rigidity of character. It is important that regular refusals, disputes and bickering do not become a habit. When someone who is not a stranger turns to a person (parents, friends, soulmate, the one who has ever helped, etc.), one must forget about the rigidity of character. Otherwise, communicating with them in a manner that has already become familiar, you can inadvertently offend them. And this does not affect the relationship the most. in the best way. Because there should be a measure in everything: both in kindness and in harshness. And the ability to find balance is one of best features person.

You involuntarily envy how some people are determined, self-confident and adamant. They defend their opinion, in spite of any authorities, do not listen to anyone's advice and act in their own way. You, on the other hand, seemed to be molded from a different test - too soft and subject to any outside influence.

It often happens that you decide already, and you want to follow it. But right there, anyone can very quickly convince you that you need to do it differently - the way he sees fit. And it’s easier for you to give in, you give up, give up your own opinion and admit that someone else is right. And all because your character is soft, you don’t know how to insist on your own. You can’t stand the pressure on yourself, especially if they start aggressively proving something, it’s easier to give in right away. Maybe you need to learn how to become tougher in character, and try to change?

Your excessive softness interferes both at work and in the family. At work, you often cannot defend your opinion, you agree with the boss and with the opinion of the majority, even if deep down you think that you were right. It is not possible to raise a child at home - there is not enough character to behave consistently and insist on one's own. As soon as the child cries because he was not given what he wanted, you immediately give up and do everything just to calm him down.

It is also very difficult to refuse someone's request, a real internal struggle immediately begins. If you agree, you will do what you don’t want to do in order to be good. And if you refuse, you will be tormented by remorse that you did not help the person. Therefore, every time it is a choice between bad and very bad.

And during touching scenes in a film or play, you can barely hold back your tears - you are embarrassed by this, so you try your best to distract yourself so as not to cry. Other people watch the same thing as if nothing had happened. And it’s hard for you to hold back your feelings and be as cold-blooded as they are - you scold yourself for this and hide treacherous tears.
How to become stronger in spirit and stop suffering because of your weakness?

In defense of softness and sensitivity

You are looking for information on how to become a strong person, because your soft nature really prevents you from achieving what you want in life. But advice on the Internet on this topic can be quite strange - for example, choose someone as a reference and try to be like him. Or specifically develop self-confidence. Maybe it would be nice to follow the advice and develop these qualities, only now you think - how long will you be enough to play such roles?

Let's try to look at this problem through the prism System-Vector Psychology, which divides all groups of desires and properties of people into 8 vectors. The problem of excessive softness of character is characteristic of sensitive, emotional people - the owners of the visual vector. These are people whose essence is anti-aggression, they are the creators and guides to the masses of culture and art.

Such a special sensitivity, on the one hand, makes them, as it were, weaker than others, if they are not realized, fixated on themselves and direct all their emotionality and sensitivity to their inner experiences. But when such a person is realized in a society where his ability to express feelings and compassion is in demand - for example, in creativity, working with children, caring for the sick and the elderly, then he stops worrying about himself and becomes a strong spirit.

After all, such high sensitivity and emotionality are created so that those tougher and more aggressive people do not “eat” each other in their struggle, which determines who is stronger. Task emotional person with a visual vector - share your feelings so that other people, perceiving them, become kinder and can get rid of their hostility.

If a person, along with the visual, is also endowed with an anal vector, then these are by nature the most kind and caring people who, in a developed and realized state, are not inclined to use force. People with an anal vector are not the ones who make decisions. Therefore, a person with an anal-visual bundle of vectors may be characterized by indecision, self-doubt, as well as fear of condemnation by others. For him, such a goal can be especially attractive - to learn how to become a strong personality.

Is it possible to change?

Everything that happens to us is for a reason. The question "how to become tougher in character" arises when a person feels that he cannot insist on what is important to him. This is due to ignorance of ourselves and other people - after all, we are all completely different. For example, what is great for your parents is not necessarily the same for you or your child.

When you clearly understand these differences, it will be easier for you to make your own decisions. At the same time, you may not have a desire to stand to the death in disputes and firmly prove your point of view to someone. Since you will understand that another person has completely different properties and desires, he looks at the world only “through himself”, and this is natural. But at the same time, you will understand your own properties and act in the way that is best for you.

It will not work to become tougher, and it is not necessary, but to behave more confidently in different situations, become more stress-resistant - no doubt it is possible, thanks to system knowledge.

For example, knowing the properties of your child, you will understand what is suitable for him and what is not. What educational influence is good for him, and what is violence, what should be avoided. Understanding yourself and others naturally will help you stand your ground and be firm where needed.

"…Feel inner confidence, and as if I had always had it, the fear of new spaces, new places passes, I become bolder in communication, there is no longer this treacherous trembling in the knees and internal stiffness, as if blown away ... I felt inner lightness, as if something had fallen into place. The understanding came that everything is in my hands, I can do everything and I can do everything, the fear of the future has disappeared, only now I understand what was meant by the fact that everyone is the creator of their own reality ... "

If you're one of those cute dudes who always walk away from conflict, this column is for you. Do people not appreciate your gentleness and think that this is a reason to neglect you? Do your friends and colleagues see you as a peacemaker who always smooths out sharp corners? Do they think you're the kind of person who won't rock the boat? Don't you ever say no? Maybe today is the right day to change that.

Think about how you usually react when you stand in line for yourself and someone crawls ahead of you. Or when someone comes up to the bar after you and, while you patiently wait for the attention of the bartender, manages to order a drink. You may say that such things do not bother you, but most likely this is just a way to save face. Admit it: such things are frankly infuriating - even if they mean practically nothing - it's still stress, and stress is bad for the body and for peace of mind.

Or you're constantly getting to do things no one wants to do - like organizing a vacation, collecting money from everyone for drinks for a party, or something like that. On the one hand, it is pleasant and responsible. On the other hand, they simply shift onto your shoulders what they themselves do not want to do. How are things at work? If you want to hold a high position, of course, you must be able to work in a team, but at the same time have the ability to make decisions on your own. Stop hesitating - take responsibility already!

Nice to be known good guy, but if this image is created due to your self-confidence, your health, career plans, interpersonal relationships you definitely need to change something. This is what we will be talking about today. You can change your behavior and people will change their attitude towards you. Here are some tips on how to stop being the person everyone takes advantage of.

Realize your purpose

You may not like it when you are not considered, but you are so used to it that you don’t even know how to change yourself, where to start. Work on a tougher attitude that will allow you to take back control of your rights and let people know that you are not to be kicked.
You probably want to be respected and stop using you.
You want to change people's attitude towards you and show that you are not weak, but confident and assertive.
Increase your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Strengthen your decision

Now you have realized your goals - it is time to embody them. To do this, you need to follow seven simple steps.

1. Learn to express your opinion

Listen to your instincts. When something bothers you, when something makes you feel uncomfortable, talk about it right away. This behavior needs to be learned. If you missed the chance to do it right away, think about how to say it a little later in a personal conversation.

For example, explain to a colleague that you do not like the urgent deadlines that you are informed about in last moment. Tell your girlfriend that you don't like it when she tells everyone at the table about the details of your sexual life. You need to clarify these points. Discuss these issues calmly, without accusations, and you will reduce tension and finally change the way others perceive you.

2. Stop agreeing

No matter how hard you try, you can't please everyone. When you constantly care about the feelings of others and do not want to offend anyone, it can go against your own desires. If something bothers you, go back to point 1.

If your friend is constantly arguing for the slightest reason, and to calm her down, you just apologize and agree with her, she may be just as tired of this state of affairs as you are. Maybe she keeps picking on you just to get you to take a stand - at least on some issue! Stand up for your opinion, express it and say “no” at least sometimes. If she wants to keep your relationship, she will respect it much more than a weak-willed agreement with everything.

3. Learn to recognize situations in which you do not need to take the fight

No need to practice your newfound tenacity when driving with a crazy driver - you run the risk of falling victim to the usual driver's rage. Do not rush to say "no" to the authorities: you can ruin your career. Be careful when talking to mentally unstable people. And in other cases, stop hiding from the conflict - you need to take the fight. If you have disagreements, resolve them. Talk about the little things that annoy you in time so that they do not turn into all-consuming problems.

4. Start small

It's easier to practice tough behavior on strangers because family and friends initially expect you to be the usual non-confrontational, meek, expressionless demeanor. Learn to manage your skills, and then apply them to loved ones. Overcome your reluctance to think about your own needs in critical situations. If a doctor prescribes a bunch of elephantine tests for you, ask if all of them are so necessary. No need to immediately put up with a difficult diagnosis and hang your nose, foreseeing the worst-case scenario. Stop giving money to the beggar who is constantly on duty at your entrance: how much can you? Just look into his eyes and wish Have a good day without feeling guilty about it.

5. Be tough

Usually during acute situations you try to maintain balance, not to show yourself, to behave stably. Instead, make it clear and clear what you want, expect, and what you generally need. You don't yell like a psycho - you just install new sample behavior, and people may be disarmed because they don't expect it. If they try to persuade you, remembering that you are a weakling, do not fall for this emotional blackmail. If you do not express your opinions and desires, people will eventually not understand that they are doing something wrong.

6. Be persistent

You won't change in one day. You will have to constantly remind yourself that you are working on yourself, that you have decided to change. People around you will probably notice that you suddenly start behaving differently. In the end, you thought about it for a long time - you just did not voice these thoughts. Do not let the embarrassment of others confuse you, do not turn off your path. If your girlfriend is constantly late and you are tired of waiting for her forever, let her know that she must respect your time and somehow learn to plan your own. Remember that you are not only changing yourself, but also teaching people to treat themselves in a new way. It won't always be easy, but focus on the profit that awaits you - it's worth it.

7. Change your environment

And here is the most radical way: change the circle of communication, break failed relationship or find new job. If you can't earn respect in one place because you already have an opinion, it's no good anymore: people just can't handle new information, they don't have the brains to rethink the changes that are happening - maybe not only with you. When you meet new people, behave appropriately from the very beginning. Now you understand the difference between nice guy and a weakling - and you will build relationships with new people in a different way.

Nice guy for no reason

If you constantly put up with being treated with disdain, no one will take you seriously. You can still be caring husband, interesting friend, an interested participant in events, a good employee - but you just stop being a weakling. Just remember that you deserve to be appreciated, not used. If you are not appreciated, you deserve pity. Practice and you will soon find that you will become easier to express your feelings, that you will become more confident at work and in personal life. Don't be surprised if people start to overestimate you - they might even be glad that you are no longer a weakling.

And in ordinary, quite socially prosperous families, children can suffer from abuse. Not because of the sadistic inclinations of the parents, but mainly because they do not suspect that their behavior inflicts emotional trauma on the child. Candidate of Psychological Sciences, member of the Expert Council comments charitable foundation"Responsible for the future" Maria Kholodtsova.

Here is a girl playing in the sandbox. Mom says in a calm tone several times that it's time to go home. The daughter does not respond. Having lost her patience, her mother grabs her by the scruff of the neck and drags her towards the house. How does the child feel about it? He does not understand why his mother suddenly got angry. He is scared, hurt, hurt and unbearably lonely.

Or, say, a typical scene in a store. The child liked the toy, he wants to stop and look at it, but the mother pulls him in the direction of the dairy products department. The child sees the yogurt and asks to buy it, but the mother stubbornly ignores him and heads towards the vegetables. There the child asks to buy him a pineapple. This is where Mom's patience comes to an end. She hits the child several times and demands to stop whining. The child begins to cry, for which he gets even more. What does he feel? He is scared, he is angry, confused, and he is also ashamed of the fact that other people are watching him cry and how he is scolded.

Mom, it should be noted, does not feel better at the same time. Irritation and guilt are the dominant emotions in this case. The scenario of child abuse usually develops according to the same pattern: an annoying situation - an aggressive reaction (action) - a feeling of guilt - a desire to make amends for the situation. And so in a circle. How to get out of it?

To begin with, to realize what and when we are doing wrong. Here are the main mistakes.

Scream and insults

Overwhelmed with worries, driven by stress, parents often break down on their children - they raise their voices, go on shouting. This is always destructive to the relationship and very bad for the child. Shouting, aggression is a sign of impotence, since a parent who is able to convincingly convince a child that he is right will not spend so much emotional energy for inappropriate behavior. Words that are offensive, degrading to the dignity of a child may well cause him serious psychological trauma and lead to behavioral disorders and even depression.

Emotional deafness

Some parents have a strong stereotype that by caressing, pitying the child, we make him too tender, not adapted to adult life. This is fundamentally wrong. Pitying, showing sympathy for the child, when he is hurt, lonely, scared or sad, we lay in him the basis of trust in the world. By systematically ignoring the child's complaints, refusing to recognize his emotions and their importance, we risk that our baby will grow up passive, withdrawn and distrustful.

Lack of dialogue

Permissiveness - not The best way communication, and not only with children. For example, a parent does not let a child go to a holiday at school or a classmate's birthday, explaining that "you are still small and have nothing at all." What information does the child receive? Virtually none. If you forbid something, it is important to explain why it is impossible or inappropriate, to talk about your feelings (for example, about worrying about a child), to enter into a dialogue with him, to listen to what he is ready to offer, to try to find a solution that suits both. It may be difficult, but it will be the first step towards each other.

Inconsistency

It is important for a parent to be consistent in their actions. If a parent says first that you need to wash the dishes, and then he washes it himself and scolds the child for “conscience and irresponsibility”, he is inconsistent. This only confuses the child: he does not know what to focus on, whether to believe what the father or mother is doing, or what he (a) says? And why take your duties seriously, if you may be scolded for not fulfilling them, but they will do everything for you.

What to do

We always transfer the experience of our childhood to communication with own child. stereotypes aggressive behavior it is very difficult to interrupt without outside help. But still, something important for yourself can be done:

Take care of yourself. Daily regime, proper nutrition, healthy lifestyle life, at least some kind of hobby, sport ... If we don’t have the strength for ourselves, where can we get them for a child?

Try to realize what annoys you the most in a child, at what moments does this happen, what is the “trigger” of aggression? When we are aware of what is an irritant, it will be easier for us to control our emotions.

Tell yourself "stop": as soon as you feel that you are starting to wind up, take a deep breath and try to reformulate what you wanted to say - more gently, carefully, accessible to the child. This is certainly much easier said than done. Every time you manage to express your dissatisfaction in a more acceptable way, celebrate it and praise yourself.

Build relationships with your child. Look for activities where you and your child will feel good and interesting together. It can be a joint walk, watching an interesting program, going to the skating rink, doing creative work. It would be great if such classes were organized first. an experienced teacher which will be able to reveal the talents of the child and strengthen the self-esteem of all family members. Gradually, these joyful and positive moments should become more than negative ones.

However, we are not always able to change our own behavior by an effort of will. And this is where working with a psychologist, aimed at understanding family history, features of their behavior, the development of new forms of relationships with the child.