Where to start a casual conversation. How to start a conversation with a girl: the basics of a pickup truck. Similar interests, hobbies

When you see a beautiful girl on the street and want to start a conversation with her, you seem to be fettered with invisible chains. Your experience tells you that a beauty may not react to the word "Hello", so you don't even try to start a conversation.

Meanwhile, there are certain schemes for starting a conversation that allow even the most intractable young ladies to talk.

And these schemes are not that complicated - everything happens very simply if you act confidently.

I will now give you all the necessary diagrams and advice. But first…

Food for thought

When a girl is not trying to actively continue the conversation, the guy believes that this is the end. That there is no chance and it’s better to leave.

However, this is not at all the case.

You see, the nature of girls is such that they regularly erect obstacles in front of us, which can only be overcome by being confident and persistent men.

Already thousands of seducers have confirmed the fact that if you continue to meet a girl, despite her show-off, then a successful ending is practically inevitable.

When you continue the conversation despite her refusal, she makes sure that you are confident and so used to being successful with girls that you are not going to end this conversation. And after several such "overcomes" your attractiveness increases dramatically, and the girl leaves you her phone number.

Those. in fact, she is just waiting for you to start communicating confidently and interestingly (interesting means reacting positively and unusually to her rejection). And when she is convinced that you are a really interesting guy, she gives up.

This is perhaps the main trick that helps to strike up a conversation even with the girl who refused you from the very beginning.

Remember this, because you will meet more than once resistance from the girl's side. And you can overcome it only by persistence and flexibility of behavior.

The main types of first phrases

Let's consider the main types of contextual phrases for acquaintance (there are also directive phrases, but not everyone can get acquainted in a directive style; therefore, we will not analyze it).

• Her behavior or reaction

For example, if several guys have already approached the girl, then you can come up and say: “ How long have you been gluing guys here? :)" or " Aren `t you ashamed!? Now these guys won't be able to sleep tonight because you rejected them :)».

These phrases relate to her behavior and differ from the banal “Hello! How are you?".

« Girl, why are you walking so fast? You will erase your heels!».

You can learn to suck phrases out of thin air.

• Her appearance

« Oh cool shoes. The other day I saw the same at the English queen ..."- if she has shoes that an English queen would never wear. ;)

« You look great! I think very few people know how to choose color combinations in clothes."- if she has chosen really well the color combinations in her appearance.

« Hey! I never thought that buttons could improve the look. Usually they just spoil it, but in your case it's quite the opposite :)"- if she is wearing a jacket with unusual buttons.

You can come up with any phrases. The main thing is practice.

• What's going on around

« Where did they all go?"- if a crowd of people is moving in one direction.

« Have you seen how two girls got into a fight over a guy?"- you can say even when in fact it was not.

Contextual phrases are the easiest way to strike up a conversation with a girl. But if you've never tried using them, then do a little workout... All day today, when you will see a girl, come up with this phrase and say it mentally.

Such a little mental practice will help you move on to real acquaintances the next day.

If she is in the company

If a girl is in a company, then starting a conversation with her is not entirely advisable. After all, she has jealous friends who can easily "extinguish" your initiative in a couple of seconds.

But if you start a conversation with everyone, not paying attention to your goal (after all, she is so used to increased attention to her own person), then you can arouse not only the trust and sympathy of the whole company, but also the jealousy of the girl herself.

Use mind blowing questions

Find on the Internet (or better come up with yourself) such questions that will make the girl want to answer and start communication.

The main thing is that these questions are very interesting and non-standard.

For example, you can ask her: “ Hey! Can you make pancakes?". You don't ask if she can help you. And you simply dumbfounded her with such a question that she would be speechless. :)

Well, and then you just tell me that you urgently need to make pancakes, and you don't know how to do it. Can come up with an interesting story in advance why did you need these pancakes, and tell her girls every time you meet.

Don't be afraid to ask questions that she doesn't expect to hear from you. The essence of it all comes down to the fact that you take her out of balance.

And if in ordinary situations a girl is ready for the fact that you will start getting to know each other even before she meets, then here you have more chances of success.

Meeting Dialogue Diagrams

You can personally deduce ready-made schemes for the development of a dialogue when meeting. Having come up with 2-3 shocking and very interesting questions, ask each of them at least 20 girls.

When you do this, you will have statistics of the most common female responses to each of your phrases... Then you just come up with interesting working answers already to their answers.

You should not go into the jungle and think over the dialogue 10 phrases ahead. :) Three "levels" will be enough.

Most likely, such work will take some time.

But what if you don't have time to come up with such schemes, and you need to say something now?

When you can't think of anything right away

You have already learned from our articles that you need to approach a girl right away. But what if you just don't have time to come up with an interesting contextual phrase?

After all, you come across beautiful girls most often exactly when you do not expect to see them at all. :)

To do this, it is enough to remember a couple of interesting questions and each time start communication with their help. And the moment you asked your question you will have 2-3 seconds to come up with any contextual phrase regarding her appearance or behavior.

This approach will work better simply because you won't be stupid on the sidelines for lack of a ready-made phrase.

And then, when you have already approached, your brain will instantly generate the necessary phrase (albeit not so ideal), since the conversation will need to be continued.

As you can see, it is not that difficult to strike up a conversation with a girl. Even if you have never tried to get acquainted in a contextual style, it is enough to gain the necessary experience. Believe me, you will start to get such acquaintances earlier than you expect. ;)

You can meet the girl of your whole life anywhere: at the university, on the street, on a social network, in transport. However, many young people, for fear of being rejected, walk by without even starting a conversation. What if the young lady does not want to communicate or leaves the message addressed to her on VKontakte unanswered?

All these fears will significantly decrease or even disappear altogether if the guy knows how to start a conversation with a girl and continue the conversation in the future.

The World Wide Web offers young people much greater opportunities for establishing relationships than the street - here you can meet, communicate, without being ashamed of a pretty stranger.

At the same time, the Internet narrows the field for maneuvers, since there is no way to express your emotions with your eyes and movements. Therefore, many young people use social networks as a starting point for further acquaintance with young ladies in real life.

Standard techniques for establishing communication on VKontakte do not always work, since pretty girls receive many offers to get to know each other, which they do not even pay special attention to. And the phrase "Hello, how are you?" some of them develop allergies.

You should start a conversation with a girl in such a way that she has a desire to at least continue communication in VK, and as a maximum - to meet in a cafe for a cup of espresso.

How to properly build a dialogue on social networks?

1. First of all, put your page and profile on the social network in complete order - add photos (your own), write in more detail about your hobbies. Girls will not want to meet a young man, on whose page there are no personal photographs.
2. Carefully study the profile of a pretty stranger. A more detailed analysis of the page will allow you to find common ground - hobbies, favorite books and films, vacation spot or preferred sport. This will help you strike up a more productive conversation.
3. Ditch the banal dating phrases. Originality is the key to success and the key to good communication. The girl will probably want a closer look, who does not write the standard "How are you". However, you should not get carried away with too complex sentences, otherwise there is a risk that you will simply not be understood.
4. If the young lady is "biting", start communication with neutral topics - literature, cinema, work or study. Be sure to include humor, it will smooth out some of the awkwardness of the situation. Diversify the conversation with funny life stories.
5. Do not spread all the information about yourself in bulk, leave some understatement. Also, do not drag the "blanket" of the conversation over yourself, not being interested in the girl at all. Ask her for her opinion on various points, but avoid questions related to your personal life.

Good to know! Why with a pretty girl on VK or other social networks? Certainly not from a lie. Do not post other people's photos of brutal handsome men, do not ascribe unusual character traits to yourself and do not pretend to be the son of a millionaire. Such deception will negate the possibility of a further meeting in the real world.

How to start a conversation on VK? First of all, greet your interlocutor and roughly describe the reason for meeting.

Once again, we will repeat - down with boring formulations, since they cause a persistent antipathy among girls. Well, she will not tell a stranger guy what she is doing and what is the state of her affairs!

Doing the right thing ...

1. Presentation of motive. In the first sentence, you need to state the purpose of the letter. For example: “Greetings. I noticed you in the group (name of the community), and since I am also fond of these issues, I decided to get to know you. " Yes, not a very original introduction, but your politeness will not allow the girl to be rude in response.
2. Common interests. Her hobbies, indicated in the questionnaire, may become a reason for dating: “Hello! I was looking for interesting films on the Internet and in the end I found your page. We have the same tastes. I also like horror. Recommend some exciting film in this genre. " The advantage of this method is that you immediately proceed to the discussion, and the conversation can be continued in person.
3. Request for help. Young ladies love to come to the rescue and give recommendations. Take advantage of this: “Greetings! My little sister is soon having a birthday, but I don't understand at all about girls' gifts. I am looking for girls of her age in VKontakte who can give a hint. " This topic can be developed further by finding out what she likes and what gifts she prefers.
4. Romantic acquaintance. You can start communication on the social network with romantic phrases. Young girls usually “understand” messages such as: “Beautiful stranger, do you believe that dreams come true? Today in a dream I saw a girl who looked like you, and suddenly I meet you here ... "

The described methods can be used in VKontakte on completely unfamiliar young ladies.

It's another matter if the pretty person is an acquaintance of your friend. In this case, you should greet the girl and refer to a mutual friend: “I saw your comments under his photos, I liked your view of the world (humor, attitude to life). Maybe we can talk? "

At this stage, you need to start a conversation with the girl, add to the list of her friends and generally make a good impression.

After talking a little in VKontakte, you can invite for a personal date and then react further according to the situation. The first step has been taken!

How to start a conversation with a girl on the street, in a cafe, at a party? This question worries many guys who feel insecure in front of pretty young ladies and are afraid of being rejected.

However, it is still worth starting communication with an unfamiliar girl who you liked. How to do it right?

1. Start with a greeting. This is a prerequisite and a manifestation of elementary politeness. You need to approach the young lady so as not to scare her (it is better to get close face to face, but not blocking the passage), say hello and introduce yourself.
2. The next step is to ask a question that cannot be answered in a monosyllabic way. Of course, give up the banality, it is better to ask something lying on the surface. For example, if she walks the dog, ask about the breed's characteristics. This question is a kind of "hook" that you throw for a "catch."
3. , just do them unobtrusively so as not to create a pick-up image. The best praise is the one that describes the true qualities of a stranger.
4. When thinking about where to start your acquaintance, do not forget about jokes. A man who can make a woman laugh is halfway to success. However, exclude sarcasm and evil irony, jokes should be kind and pleasant.
5. Do you like the girl? You can give her a nice little present. If you met on the street, presenting a balloon is very cute. If the meeting happened in a cafe, try ordering her a cup of coffee.

The next burning question is how to start communicating with a girl on the first date. To make a good impression on a young lady, use the following guidelines:

1. Since you met not on VK, but on the street, the young girl does not know you at all. So talk about yourself, but don't brag.
2. Take an interest in the personality of your interlocutor, ask her about hobbies, literature and cinema.
3. Give the girl an opportunity to speak out while talking in parallel. If the pause drags on, remember stories from your childhood, usually young ladies like such cute incidents.
4. Do not ask personal questions, and do not talk about your former relationship yourself. It is especially important not to discuss former lovers in a negative way.

Psychologists assure that a woman usually needs one meeting to decide whether she needs a relationship with this man.

If you are a boring and uninteresting interlocutor, she will definitely not come on the next date and will not even pick up the phone.

Also, a girl will not want to date if your behavior will shock her unpleasantly. For example, you interrupted her, spoke negatively about your ex-partners, condemned her hobbies or hobbies.

Advice! Therefore, on the street, in a cafe or cinema, your main task is to show your best sides and be sure to demonstrate that you like the girl.

When looking for information on how to start a conversation with a girl in VK or on the street, it is worth mentally preparing for possible refusals. You should not despair, because often the reason for the unwillingness to communicate lies not in you, but in the young lady herself.

She's probably not in the mood or she has a boyfriend. If the acquaintance ended in failure, move on to another pretty person. After all, there are many free and no less beautiful girls walking nearby, who also dream of meeting pleasant guys.

Hello, I am Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully completed her studies at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and consulting parents on raising babies. I use the experience gained, including in the creation of articles of a psychological orientation. Of course, in no way do I pretend to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers to deal with any difficulties.

Learning how to communicate with girls correctly can only be done in practice. The more practice you have, the better you will get. However, there are a few important things to learn before starting a conversation.

We start communication

To start and manage a conversation, learn to ask the right questions. Conversation is built on open questions... Open-ended questions do not imply a specific, monosyllabic answer. Such questions begin with the words "how", "what do you think", "where", "interesting, and what ...".

These questions are also great for start a conversation... In addition, with the help of them, you can make a girl talk if she is silent and is not in the mood for communication.

Do you want to interest the most spectacular beauty with ambitions from the site soderzhanki.su? Start your conversation with an open-ended question. You will definitely be noticed and will not be left unanswered.

For examples of open-ended questions and applications in conversation, see.

In addition, your success depends, in many respects, on where you take the girl on the first date. You can read about this.

How to choose a topic for conversation

Topics that are better avoid: salary, place of work, ex-partner, health, personal problems, family secrets, religion.

So far, men's topics should not be touched upon either. Exceptions are if the girl herself is interested in cars, computers, sports. Yes, there are such women.

Topics for which need to communicate on the first date with a girl: funny experiences at school, spirituality, pets.

The main thing is that the conversation should be light and positive.

When the topic of conversation is exhausted, change it to another. This should be done naturally. You can beautifully switch from one topic to another using an open-ended question. In this case, the second theme clings to the previous one, as it were.

For example, you were talking about flowers, and you need to translate the topic of conversation:

F: My favorite flowers are chamomile.
M: You know, I heard that flowers are the best gift for a woman. What gifts do you like the most?

After that, the dialogue turns to the discussion of gifts.

How to properly interrupt a conversation

You also need to be able to finish communication. In order for the girl to wait for a meeting with you in the future, end the conversation at the peak of interest.

This does not mean that you have to abruptly get up and leave. Say it’s time for you to leave today, but you’ll love to meet again. Don't let the girl get tired of you.

For a first date, 1-1.5 hours is enough to keep her curiosity and desire to get to know you better.

If you delay communication with the girl you like, then emotions will come to naught and she will become bored. After a date with such a guy, she will have an unpleasant aftertaste. It will be more difficult to persuade her to go for the second.

Here are 8 helpful tips to help you talk to the girl you like:

Lies are excluded... Remember, any lie sooner or later comes out. You can make a mistake, forget about what you said, or acquaintances will accidentally reveal the truth.

Your facial expressions, eyes, body movements, voice can give out that you are not telling the truth.

The trust of the girl you love will be lost forever. In order not to lie, just say that you do not want to answer the question yet. You can also reply that this topic is unpleasant for you or that tell us about it later.

Obscene expressions repel decent girls. Do not use swearing in a conversation if you do not want to spoil her good impression.

Correct gestures and postures... Gestures, body position can tell a lot about the inner state and intentions. Do not cross your arms and legs together on your chest - this is a closed, defensive posture, thereby isolating you from the interlocutor. Don't swing your arms too much. Scratching your nose, earlobes, eyes, or chin may indicate that you are insecure or that you want to hide something.

Complaints are inadmissible... The worst thing you can think of is to start complaining about life, work, financial difficulties, health, ex-girlfriend. Girls don't like whiners and losers. They prefer strong and successful guys. If you start talking about your worthless life, then you will fail: this date will be the last.

Have a dialogue... The girl wants to listen to you and tell you about herself. Nobody is interested in the monologue.

Watch your girlfriend's reactions. Take pauses, give the opportunity to ask questions, comment and speak yourself. Dialogue shows that you are interested in the other person, not just yourself.

Learn to listen... Many people never learned to listen. They interrupt the interlocutor, do not listen to phrases to the end, begin their story until the interlocutor's story is finished. This is annoying and confusing. During a conversation, look at the interlocutor, nod your head slightly, insert leading questions that stimulate further story.

Speak brightly... Boring speech does not evoke emotions in a girl who wants an interesting and unforgettable evening. Use figurative expressions, emotional words, bright inserts. Stimulate your imagination.

Here's how not to say: "Yesterday my friends and I jumped from the tower on ropes, it was fun."

Here's how to say: “Yesterday my friends and I decided to jump on the ropes from the tower. It was cool! You can imagine, you are standing on this tower, there is a wind up there, and you understand that you completely depend on the reliability of the equipment. The flight was incredible, my heart jumped out of my chest, but I experienced incredible pleasure. Let's go together sometime? "

If you learn to communicate using emotional, figurative expressions, then your girlfriend will simply fall in love at first sight!

Only positive... Will you meet the girl again? Then avoid negativity. Do not in any way condemn the shortcomings of the interlocutor or other women. It is also not worth starting quarrels with neighbors in a cafe, you did not come here for this. Blame, taunt and show that you are much smarter than she is impossible. Any form of negativity is repulsive. This must be remembered once and for all.

Confidence... Why does a girl need an insecure guy? She doesn't want to be your mommy. She needs someone who will protect and help her, instill confidence in her.

If you want to please her - get rid of the words “I don’t know”, “maybe”, “I need to think about”.

A direct gaze, straightened shoulders, clear speech, a smile, calm body movements, a straight gait are the first signs of a self-confident person.

Practice in front of a mirror, ask a friend to correct your behavior, or attend special training sessions.

Correct and beautiful speech can work wonders

Have you noticed with what enthusiasm women listen to announcers and actors with a pleasant voice? This is no coincidence. If you have problems with speech, do not pronounce some letters, the voice itself is not very beautiful and bright, then work on it.

Tongue Twisters is a great way to learn to speak quickly and clearly. Choose simple at first, speak slowly. Once you're clear, pick up your pace. If you can read in a foreign language, then for a change, you can use foreign tongue twisters.

Useful exercises... Read any passage of the text aloud every day. Record your voice on a voice recorder. Listen and find out what can be changed in your speech. Yes, not everyone likes to listen to their voice on the recording, but this is another reason to love and accept yourself, and overcome shortcomings, become confident.

To improve the clarity of pronunciation, you can pronounce the sounds and syllables separately. If you have severe speech problems, then contact a speech therapist who will develop a set of classes.

And most importantly, stop being afraid. Nothing is impossible in this world!

Starting a conversation with a stranger is like skydiving. This is interesting, but very risky. Plus, sometimes this conversation can change your life. If you, despite your fears and concerns, put in the necessary efforts, then one such conversation can radically change your life. Read this article and you will learn how to start a conversation with a stranger.

Steps

Part 1

Alarm management

Practice before you start talking to strangers. Talking to strangers, like any other skill, needs to be developed: the more you practice, the better you get. Practice will help you feel and behave more naturally, you won't even think on how to start a conversation with strangers. To achieve this, set goals for yourself.

• Do not overdo it! If you find it difficult to communicate with strangers at first, take your time. Start small, for example, try starting a conversation with two strangers a week. You can add one conversation every week.
• Force yourself! There is a fine line between pushing yourself and not overdoing it. Don't let fear hold you down. Get out of your comfort zone.

1. Attend events yourself. Don't invite other people with you. Create situations for yourself in which you will be among strangers. In this case, you will not be able to hide behind the backs of your friends. If you don’t speak to anyone the first couple of times, don’t worry, it’s okay! You have already taken an important step, you have attended an event where there are many new people for you! Find out what events will take place in your city. Attend events with people you don't know.

   • Art show
   • Book presentations
   • Concerts
   • Exhibitions in museums
   • Open festivals
   • Party
   • Parades / rallies / protests

2. Ask a friend to help you. If you find it difficult to speak to a stranger, ask your friend to help you. With the help of a friend, you can start a conversation with a stranger, and you will feel more comfortable knowing that the person you are close to is around.

   • Don't let your friend take the lead. Tell your friend ahead of time that you want to learn how to talk with people you don't know.

3. Don't think too much. If you worry too much about something going wrong, you are setting yourself up for failure. The more you think about it, the more you will worry. As soon as you spot a person with whom you can start a conversation, get straight to the point. This way you will experience less stress.

   Be confident. You may feel intimidated by a conversation with a stranger, especially when you realize that this conversation can be life-changing for you. If you are going to a job interview or want to talk to an attractive man or woman, you may be worried that the other person will notice that you are nervous. But believe me, no one knows that you are experiencing excitement! Try to act more confidently, even if you feel fear and anxiety.

   • Remember, over time you will not have to pretend that you are a confident person, you really will be.

4. Don't let negative reactions affect you. Be prepared for the fact that a person's reaction can be different. As a shy person, you know very well that sometimes people don't feel like talking at all! If someone doesn't want to talk to you, don't take it personally.

   • Remember even a negative result is an experience that will come in handy in life. This is a chance to learn and improve.
   • People don't bite. The worst thing that can happen is someone says that he is very busy or asks to be left alone. This is not the end of the world!
   • Believe me, no one pays attention to you except yourself. People tend to think only of themselves, so don't worry if someone thinks bad of you.

   Part 2

   Conversation with a stranger

   1. Be open and friendly. If you look sullen, the person is unlikely to want to talk to you. Even if you are feeling anxious, try to relax and be friendly. This will give people peace of mind in your presence. This is a good conversation starter.

      • Maintain eye contact. Instead of fiddling with your phone nervously, look around for the people present. Try to make eye contact with someone.
      • Smile when you make eye contact, even if you don't plan on starting a conversation. Communication is not always words. In addition, thanks to these techniques, you can get the person to talk.
      • Learn to control yourself. Our body language can say a lot about us. Do not slouch, keep your head high. If you are a confident person, people will want to connect with you.
      • Do not cross your arms over your chest. Typically, this gesture means that you are closed or not interested in the conversation.

   2. Show non-verbally that you want to talk to someone. You are more likely to be considered strange if you abruptly approach the person and start talking to them. Instead of suddenly starting a conversation with someone, show non-verbally that you want to start a conversation. Make eye contact and smile before starting a conversation.

      Start with a short conversation. Long, deep conversation can turn a person away. Start small. Instead of asking a question about the meaning of life, just express your opinion about an event or ask for a favor:

      • The bar is closing already. It would not hurt to leave a good tip!
      • Traffic jams today! Do you know what happened?
      • Could you connect my laptop to the network? The outlet is right behind you.
      • Can you please tell me what time it is?

   3. Introduce yourself. After you have started a conversation, you need to find out the name of the person. The best way to do this is to say your name. Most likely, the person will say his name. If he ignores you, he may be in a very bad mood or ill-mannered. In any case, this is a sign that it is not worth continuing the conversation.

      • After you have started a conversation, you can say "My name is [your name]". You can reach out when you say your name.

   4. Ask open-ended questions. If you ask questions to which the person will give monosyllabic answers, the conversation will quickly come to its logical conclusion. Instead, ask questions that will help keep the conversation going. For example:

      • "How was your day?" instead of "Have you had a good day?"
      • "I see you here often. What motivates you to come here so often? What attracts you?" instead of "Do you come here often?"

   5. Ask the person to explain something to you. We all like it when we are considered an expert in some matter. Even if you know a lot about the topic under discussion, listen to what the person has to say. For example, if an event happened in your area, you might say, "Oh, I saw the headlines in the newspapers, but I had absolutely no time to read the material. Do you happen to know what happened?" People are more willing to contact when they feel that others can learn something from them.

      Don't be afraid to argue. Of course, it is very important to find common ground with a person. However, oddly enough, different views on some issue can be the basis for a good conversation. Show the person that they will not be bored with you. Lead a discussion and don't be afraid to voice your opinion.

      • The discussion should take place in a relaxed manner. If you see that the person is starting to get annoyed, it is better to change the subject.
      • Be friendly, don't argue.
      • Smile and laugh during the conversation to show that you are having a good time and are not nervous.

   6. Choose only safe themes. While you can choose topics that will provide a good basis for discussion, avoid topics that can create negative emotions in your interlocutor. Discussing topics related to religion or politics can lead to serious disagreements with the interlocutor. However, discussing topics related to travel or football can be relaxed and fun. Other safe topics might be movies, music, books, or food.

      Let the conversation be free and easy. Of course, you can prepare in advance a list of questions to discuss with the person. However, you are unlikely to have a casual conversation! Of course, you can set a topic for conversation, but don't try to build a conversation from templates. If your interlocutor wants to talk about something else, give in! Ask him to explain the moments that you do not understand and be glad that you have the opportunity to learn something new.