How to preserve a happy marriage for many years. And what is the secret of long and happy family life

18.06.2019

Every woman dreams about long happy relationships in marriage with a beloved person. After all, there are couples living in love and harmony for many years. The pledge of peace and harmony in the family is mutual respect for the spouses, without it it is impossible to find family happiness. It is important to understand the partner and feel what he wants. How to keep marriage for many years?

He and she - the secrets of relationships

A happy marriage is fragile, it needs to be preserved and cherished. Remember this, use the strongest women's sides - softness and sensitivity.

Do not forget about the intimate side of life: harmony in sexual relationships is quite capable of pushing some domestic and psychological problems to the second plan.

Do not take everything a husband's living space - a little freedom, he still deserves.

Finally, talk more often with a partner, discuss, work on your relationship together.

Secrets of family happiness

Life in marriage is a kind of art. Both men and women, tolerance is required, the ability to give way, everyday life and readiness for dialogue. The formula of family happiness, of course, is difficult to bring, but still there are some secrets of finding happiness and harmony in marriage. For example:

Feel free to manifestations of love. Express love for the partner is very important. Inexpensive gifts without reason and just notice the signs, let you understand your spouse as he is dear to you.
Do not quarrel on trifles. Learn to be optimists, forgive and not finding fault in trifles.
Avoid promial conflicts. The Council is very important: to find out the relationship in people is unacceptable and extremely harmful to family relationships.
Do not ignore intimate relationships. Try not to avoid sex and, moreover, do not use it as a means of blackmail.
Be more often together. Help each other in matters, do the housework together, without sharing the duties, as the joint work is very closer.
Learn to give. Love and family do not tolerate egoism and self-love.
Laugh more often. It has long been installed - laughter helps to remove the tension between spouses, smoothes negative moments and helps to keep love.
Respect a spouse. Even during the quarrel, you must avoid mutual insults. Another important point: Respect the personal space of the partner, his hobbies and do not force your own. Even family members do not have to do what you like only.

Relationship in the family - how to create harmony

The most important thing in the relationship of the spouses is the creation of harmony. Without harmony in the family, it is impossible to build a strong and happy marriage. First of all, the Union of two people is ready to compromise, an understanding of what will have to put up with the disadvantages of another person, with its habits that can cause irritation. It is necessary to relate to this: attempts to re-educate a partner is an ungrateful business and nothing but the quarrels and mutual reproaches will not bring.

Remember that ideal people do not happen. If the husband loves, he will try to cope with the habits staring. However, be prepared to make the same thing for him. The willingness to go to each other will meet the relationship.

To keep an understanding, trust the partner, talk more often with him. Do not take offense in yourself, if something does not suit, it is worth talking about it. However, it is important to do this in a tactful form without moving to personality. Be a female wise, keep calm and softness. The same thought can be conveyed to a partner completely differently. Agree, the phrase "I would like to spend more time with you" sounds differently than "you never have time for me."

Thus, the two most important elements of the preservation of harmony in the family are love and patience. They will be the best feelings of feelings and will help to overcome all adversity. Do not concentrate on those problems that inevitably arise in any union, do not let them be a hindrance towards a happy marriage.

Happy relationship with former

Unfortunately, even seemingly safe marriages sometimes. In the event that the divorce was still failed, it is important not to lose face and try to keep good relationships with former spouses.

It is possible, unfortunately, not always. However, it is worth listening to the advice of psychologists on this matter.

No need to blame yourself in the break. Two always participate in relations, is the main task of both spouses. If the husband went to another, should not be painfully looking for shortcomings - you are a clever and beauty, just not your person.
Make a list of good qualities of the former spouse. After divorce, people are usually focused on the negative, overcome hostility and aggression is difficult. Remember everything is good that you have connected, and release the resentment. You should not hate a person with whom you shared a bed and your life.
Try to take the choice of a former partner. In life it happens everyone, try to take the choice of a man with respect. This will help with time to gain peaceful harmony and focus on the device of his own life.
Share responsibility for two. Nobody destroyed your life, both relationships were built, so try to mentally divide the guilt in a 50/50 ratio. So it will be easier for you and thoughts about the break will not be so painful.
Children should not suffer from your divorce. The child is an embodiment and paternal, and maternal qualities, so let the children be in something similar to the Father. Rise respect to it in them, do not interfere with communication within reasonable limits.

Be tolerant, do not focus on the disadvantages and do not hang shortcuts.
Speak a partner about your feelings. During the discussion of the problem, do not blame, but bring the arguments.
Do not be afraid to be honest and open with your spouse.
Give your favorite free time and space. The heat in the relationship does not mean that you need to completely dissolve each other.
Quickly praise and encourage partner. It is very promoted by a long and happy life in marriage.

Such simple tips embodied in life will help to significantly improve family relationships and preserve them over the years.

Be emotionally responsive and affordable

Being a responsive and affordable partner means to be with whom it is easy to install emotional contact, who is ready to "connect" to another, who responds to any appeal, and does not ignore it, does not close, does not blame, does not rinse. He doesn't care what happens with his loved one, he is involved, he is ready to spend his time at him and constantly walk the signal - "You have a value for me." In a happy relationship, such emotional responsiveness and availability is mutual.

Destroyers - those who are mostly not responded to the "invitation", is not involved in what is important to another, it does not rejoice at its success, often criticizes, draws more attention to the shortcomings and mistakes of their partner, forcing that feeling wrong and worthless. It is absolutely not surprising that love in such pairs, whatever it was at first, does not survive.

Take differences and see another real

Many people love is associated with a similarity. The feeling that they with their sweethearts are equally thinking, feel, look at things at one angle, creates the illusion of proximity, unity, security.

And in this beautiful confluence, any difference, dissimilarity, the imperfection of another is perceived very painfully: how? Do you have a different opinion? Other reactions? Other settings of the nervous system? You do not like what I like? You do not consider it necessary to do what I do?

Differences are not what you need to try to eradicate and targeting. This is what you need to recognize and respect. Problems usually arise not because people are not like each other, and because they cannot recycle their differences, cannot agree that the beloved person is not the same as you, the other, can not accept his individual Nature, features and views on life. And they believe that he must comply with their ideas about the "present" person and make their happiness meaning of his life.

So that you feel good with each other, you need to understand that your favorite is not attendant personnel and not a set of qualities of a hard gender scheme. He is a separate, living person. He also has its strengths, and restrictions, and subtle, sensitive places, and needs, and they do not always coincide with yours.

It is necessary to respect the differences between you and learn to live with them. To see another hereby, real, and not invented and something must you. Harmony in relationships is born only when you like each other, take into account your and other people's interests and remain at the same time, recognizing the right of another to the same.

Collaborate and negotiate

It's rather difficult to live and feel happy next to a person who, in response to your request or a desire to do something, expresses disagreement, resists, but also does not offer anything constructive.

Who only considers himself right and confident that all this right should be obeyed. Conversely - very comfortable and happily living in families, where people readily go to cooperation, freely discuss plans, they understand that everyone can have their own vision, they are looking for all ways to achieve a goal or a compromise, and then follow this.

Some believe that in happy unions partners do not conflict and do not quarrel. Quarrel. But they know how to leave these quarrels without much losses. How do they get it? Very simple - they do not hide from problematic topics, openly and directly discuss what it really worries both, they clarify the incomprehensible, seek to reconcile the differences, together find a solution to the problem, and not blame the other ("It's all because of you!"), More accurate hit it in the patient and to win the top over it.

Quarrels are not scary. The main thing is that you can (sought) to negotiate and comply with the agreements reached.

Promoting self-development everyone

As psychologists say, a good marriage is such a marriage, where both people understand that together they expand the possibilities of everyone and create such a life that one would not be able to create. Without mutual support, the inclusion in the affairs of the partner, readiness to help him implement his abilities and rejoice at its successes to achieve this is simply impossible.

When people pull the blanket for themselves and believe that the other only takes the resources from them, she plays them, prevents them from developing, deprives prospects, relationships are degenerate and become a cohabitation of unfortunate, barely tolerance of each other, "thorough" people's youthful people - until While someone has no determination to stop them.

Refer to a lot easily and with humor

If any difficulty perceive as a tragedy and "everything is lost, the chef", then life, including family life, turns into solid overcoming and eternal battle. And the ability is not to dramatize, do not let in the fruitless "clarifications of relationships", discharge the situation with a joke and, not hurt anyone, reset the tension is noticeable this life makes it easier.

Did you think about what is the happiness of the family? What moments create the unity of several people, make the Union harmonious?

The family in the process of evolution was not for nothing. This is a community of people who have their own traditions, remembering the ancestors, respecting their kind, seeking to adequately raise a new generation.

The real family is strong and friendly, all its members feel a close relationship among themselves.

How to live with mother-in-law in the same apartment? Find out about it from ours.

What does it mean?

A happy family can be seen immediately: between her members is present harmony, mutual understanding.

If you pay attention to the photos, you will see smiling faces, people stand closely towards each other, there is an attraction between them, looks, gestures are directed at loved ones.

Children in such families know that they are respected. Free time and relaxing happy family She strives to spend together.

They are good next to them, small conflicts do not develop into large, and are incentive to change. If there is a quarrel, it quickly ends, because a happy family does not see the meaning in finding out the relationship, she is looking for a way to solve the problem better and faster.

Finding out whether happiness really reigns in the family, it must be borne in mind that the family can be happy outwardly and internally.

Externally- This is the expression of your feelings, relations in humans. And it does not always coincide with the inner. You can see smiling faces, but if you look carefully, you will realize that in fact people are far from each other and simply depict happiness.

Domesticthe happiness of the family is the present, when there is no need to demonstrate its attitude, harmony always reigns.

The combination of external and internal manifestations is full of full happiness. It is such a family that is truly harmonious - she does not need to pretend - joy, fun, love is natural and not disappear under the action of circumstances or foreign people.

What is it family happiness: psychology

What is family happiness?

Family happiness curly connected with emotionswho family members are experiencing to each other.

Entering into marriage, people hope that happiness will come to them, they will live together to old age, call children.

However, pink glasses will quickly fall, family life comes, financial problems, people begin to see the shortcomings of a partner. The first, then the following, and not every family calmly passes through them.

Many couples, others live years in war regime, without knowing how to find a common language, but not wanting to part to create a new, more prosperous union. Eventually not only spouses suffer, but also their children.

If you are glad to come home, meet your half, you are good together, it means you can call yourself a happy couple.

Quality

Let's wonder what qualities a happy family has.

A happy family will not find out the attitude in humans, criticize the partner, complain about children or the older generation.

They are act at the same time, together and this is what it is even more united. There are no strong differences in it, because the goals are directed in one direction, and there is such a family as a single organism.

Harmony - concept and manifestations

Harmony- This is a balance of balance, equilibrium.

In a harmonious family, there is almost no quarrel, and if controversial situations arise, they are solved as efficiently as possible and beneficial for all its members.

In a harmonious family feels calm, integrity, There are positive emotions, and if someone is upset, sick, then close people support, help get out of the emotional negative or complex life situation.

In the family where the balance is present, the morning begins positively, in the evening people hurry home, because they are waiting for their relatives that need attention and care.

The basis of harmony is calm and that you need that loved ones will always support you, will give a smile, help improve your mood.

In such families are unacceptable - they violate the created balance, bring negative into existence. Harmonious families avoid as a factor, threatening calm and integrity.

Are there ideal unions?

It seems that a happy family is some unattainable ideal.

You, your friends periodically conflict with loved ones, someone has financial difficulties, someone is sick in other families.

And the question arises - is there really absolutely happy families? Yes, they are. In many respects, it depends on the people themselves married, from their readiness to work on relationships, save them.

Probably there is no concept of absolute happiness, and it is not achievable. But everyone is capable of creating a good, friendly family. However, this is a lot of work, and above all over yourself.

You can not, do not have the right to make the otherBut you can work on your attitude to close people. And by changing your attitude, ways of impact, communication, you will begin to notice that the family members began to behave differently.

The concept of happiness has its own, so you cannot withdraw a single formula, the recipe, following which you and your relatives will certainly be satisfied with the joint life.

But if you try to bring harmony and joy into the world, you will certainly be achieved. Happy family is, and make them the people who are ready to fight for their happiness and build it.

Examples

In glossy magazines, transfers are often talking about pairs, whose love could be put in an example.

It should be understood that every family is individual. Methods for creating happiness for individual people are distinguished.

One of the best examples - elderlywhich lived for many years together, retained love and loyalty. They have happy children and grandchildren who come to them on holidays, but do not forget on ordinary days. Such a family can say that "we are together in spite of everything."

Happy couples can be found among celebrities. One of them - Monica Bellucci and Vensean Kassel. They together for 15 years, there are two wonderful children.

Another famous couple - Jada Pinkett-Smith and Will Smith "One of the strongest couples in Hollywood, they have two children, married for 14 years, Will does everything to feel his beloved.

Goldi Houne and Kurt Russell Together about 30 years. Goldie says the most valuable thing for her is that she feels loved.

Svetlana and Fyodor Bondarchuk together for 20 years. After so much, their feelings did not fade, and they are not shyless to demonstrate them in humans.

Angelica Varum and Leonid Agutin. Amazing couple whose love is noticeable from the side. Despite the bright and temperamental characters, they love and appreciate each other, and the preservation of the family is important for them.

What do you need for this?

What makes the family happy?

Having an idea of \u200b\u200bwhat a good family is, the question arises: what should I do to be happy?

The desire of two people to develop relationships, They are, as far as possible to leave crisis situations as much as possible.
Children- One of the reasons for happiness. Of course, and without them you can be satisfied with life, but many couples disintegrate due to the fact that one of the partners does not want or cannot have a child.
Desire for one goal. If a woman wants children, and the man is more prone to travel and entertainment, then conflicts will arise sooner or later.
Sexy compatibility. Intimate life is one of the important life. The incompatibility of partners often becomes a reason for betraying, displeasure to each other.
Ideally, the need for sex should be approximately the same or one of the partners is compromised.
Do not pay attention to small problems, they are not worth it. Quarrels due to nonsense destroy harmony, slowly pushing the stone of happiness.
Spend time not only togetherBut let everyone of the family members have their own hobby, the opportunity to relax alone. Personal space is necessary to every person.
Do not hold back emotions, do not accumulate them inside especially negative. If you are sad, feel anger, talk to your loved ones, tell me what bothers you. If you feel joy, happiness, love, thanks to sharing these emotions as often as possible.

How to diversify family life? Learn right now.

Pledge and welfare rules

Observing the following simple secretsYou will become closer to the feeling of family happiness and harmony.

love your spouse;
respect its values, freedom, desire for a partner and children;
be able to make compromises for the sake of preserving happiness and balance;
welfare, finance - one of the whales on which family life holds. Domestic problems affect the feeling of happiness;
have a common interest. Naturally, spouses can have their own hobbies, but there must be what they are united;
have uniform goals;
equally looking at the education of children;
in the event of problem situations, dialogue;
trust between group members is one of the important points;
be able to be sincere and tell the truth. Fallen early or later comes out.

How to be a happy wife?

To make a woman to become happy in family life, first of all choose the right man.

Over your happiness you have to work. Relationships do not develop by themselves.

If you are married, you take responsibility for maintaining harmony in relationships. Shoot the responsibility for their actions on others is unacceptable.

Support for loved ones in a difficult moment - One of the collateral of family happiness.

Recipes of family happiness

How to become a happy family?

There are no uniform recipes, but still exist general principlesChecked for many unions.

Respect each other. If there are no respect, the family will break the family sooner or later, it is simply nothing to hold on - two people will live nearby, which are completely not taking into account the interests of others.
Create family traditions and stick to them.
Hold a joint holiday. Traveling, weekends outside the city create leisure, unite, allow you to more closely communicate and understand the partner and their children.
Maintain a spouse in a difficult moment. When a person is hard, at work problems or unhealthy, he needs sympathy and advice of loved ones. Indifference, the inability to provide support is removed.
Learn to respect children. The child, even a small, person, he needs self-expression, some share of freedom in actions and thoughts.
Relief to the eldest in children.
Touch each other. Tactile sensations help experience intimacy, and touch can express more than words.

Remember that in order for the family to become happy, all its members should strive for this.

Work on the relationship, do not let me leak into your union negative, interfere with strangers, and then harmony will accompany you throughout the whole life.

7 rules to make your family life happy, from Dale Carnegie:

Before you connect your life with one or another person, be sure to learn about him or her everything. You may be interested in a variety of moments - from hereditary diseases to the inheritance relying to your potential second half. The main thing is to ask yourself a question if you can live a lifetime with this person. In the biography of your future spouse by the time marriage, dark spots should not be left for you.

A key concept for creating a happy pair without a doubt can be called loyalty. If you are going to link your life with this man, set up on your loyalty to him. If you are still "not footing," perhaps it is worth up with marriage. Most of the people consider precisely loyalty - the key to happiness in a pair.

Appreciate your husband or wife. Pleasure, go for compromises, give little cute gifts ... Quarrel is better intense silence, which is pushing the marriage of urgent, but better quarrels a calm discussion of the problem. Be sure to clarify all conflict questions and put up. It is not worth going to bed in a broken state, since the resentment over time is only stronger, and therefore, in the morning it will be more complicated in the morning. If it is not easy for you to compromise, imagine that your second half has disappeared. If you really appreciate your loved one, after that it will not be so difficult for you to propose a truce.

If problems arose in a pair, go to a psychotherapist or visit some seminar for couples.

Do not let the divide family comfort!

Household problems separated many strong steam. It is worth starting to deal with them from the very beginning of living life. Divide the responsibilities, buy household appliances (from the vacuum cleaner to the dishwasher), follow the house together. If you and your half work, such a separation of responsibilities is simply necessary. Despite the stereotypical idea that the house should lead a woman in the modern world, where a significant part of women work on a par with men, women deserved the right to rest. Therefore, the separation of responsibilities will significantly simplify your joint existence.

For the relationship to remain healthy and strong, do not use sex as a manipulative agent.

Mutual support in a pair - the key to success. Instead of sawing or reject a spouse, support, calm down, something. It is very important to listen carefully to each other in difficult days.

Sexual life is an indispensable component of a happy relationship. At the very beginning there are no problems in this regard, but over time, married sex comes, becomes monotonous and boring. Unfortunately, in the sexual sphere, everything is just not yet established. Buy erotic underwear, read about role-playing games, take the initiative. The network has a lot of literature on this topic.

For many centuries, neither scientists nor philosophers can give a specific answer to the question "what is happiness." In the dictionary of the Russian language: happiness is standing well-being, joy from the completeness of life.

What is happiness

Happiness is difficult and simply at the same time, it all depends on the moral values \u200b\u200bof the person. You grow up, and the idea of \u200b\u200bhappiness is changing with age. In a careless childhood, a new toy, an eaten candy or a campaign seems to be a huge happiness.

The older you become, the less you pay attention to the fact that you have recently delivered a feeling of happiness: a bright sun, or bubbles in a puddle from rain. Time is going, much changes. And so happiness is a good job, respect for the collective, next to a person who loves you, and whom you love.

Happiness is a state that comes from you, goes from the inside. It depends first of all from your ability to perceive the world around. Somewhere nearby lives a large family, which barely drives ends with the ends, not enough money to buy sweets to children, not to mention different entertainment. For them, happiness - in their children. By investing in them all his love, people feel very happy. For others, it is necessary to be famous, famous and rich. Happiness in money? But there are things that are not sold and not bought.

What is formed happiness

Happiness is concluded in simple things. It can not be smeared, try to taste or touch, but the condition of happiness can not be noticed and miss. I want to smile just like that, sing in the shower and it's like a rain or under the windows all night long out the cats - the soul sings, which means that the man is happy.

But a person can not always feel absolutely happy - it is unnatural. Happiness is still the incoming state. In our life, there is always alarm, and fear, and anxiety. Experiences for their loved ones, care for your health, fear of losing material independence, and a lot of things still do not allow every day to enjoy the feeling of happiness.

So what is the secret of happiness? There is no answer. Happiness can only be in the present, it can not be scattered about the reserve. Only being in harmony with you, appreciate each minute, clearly and calmly solve problems, you can be able to satisfy and happiness.

Chasing for happiness, think about what moments in life you feel a happy man. What gives you great joy in life: a strong family or an account in the bank. He will be able to rejoice in the trifles, look for positive parties in any situations and happiness will not make yourself wait.

The strength of the relationship between in love is checked by time. Similar tastes and views will not be sufficient to live a long joint life.

Before you decide to connect life with a person, check if you can still be able to live in a couple of dozen years. Psychologists offer couples 10 characteristics, with the help of which they will be able to find out their attachment to each other.

1 Your trust. You must learn to trust your partner, do not listen to gossip, justify the confidence of your loved one. Strong relationships to build is much easier if you have a brick confidence in your foundation.

2. Your respect. The feelings in which you are immersed with your head will die over time, and often begin to emerge new details of your partner's character. Think about whether you are ready to tie life with a person who do not know anything about? Attachment against the background of hormones, sexual desire and adoration will not be sufficient characteristics to create a strong family for life.

3. Your friendship.This point in the relationship is no less important. You must be not only in love, but also the most devoted friends for each other. Support your partner you will not only in joy, but in grief. Think whether you are ready for such sacrifices, do not leave your half, if that the problems start?

4. Your sense of humor. All people are different, and you probably saw not one union that could be characterized as strange. Humor helps you be on the same wave, prolongs the happiness of living together and makes it possible to treat life difficulties with humor.

5. Your independence. Another brick strong connection is the independence of both partners. You must have a personal space and hobbies, the opportunity to take a walk with friends and bring a time from each other, without ceasing to trust the partner.

6. Your empathy. You should literally feel your partner. To be able to put yourself in his place and understand the reason for his sadness, problems. Also, empathy will help you to put a partner in the first place, to understand him with a half-clow, share experiences. Empathy is a thin matter, in which two in love even be silent comfortably in each other's society.

7. Your passion.In relations, passion takes not the last place. But over time she leaves. Are you ready to excite each other for many years, continue to see in your partner not just a neighbor, but the person you are experiencing passion and desire?

8. Your maturity. Are you ready to build your relationship not as teenagers, but as adults? Do not call and not accuse each other, and be able to make compromises? If you can safely discuss the problems and find a general solution, open to the dialogue, then your relationship will last long.

9. Your communication.You must be able to communicate, directly say a partner about your preferences, be able to listen to your loved one. Communication is an effective weapon that helps keep your love for many years.

10. Your love.This feeling should be for you the best motivation to maintain and develop your relationship. Mutual love should become primary to ensure that your couple can survive all the adversity, keep the wonderful microclimate of your personal life.

Do not forget that you have to fight bad habits, change for the better for the sake of your beloved. Relationships in pairs are work for two, which helps you get closer to know each other, re-falling in love with your chosen one and live, radiating positive.