You are a very interesting conversationalist. How to be an interesting conversationalist in any situation
Anvar Bakirov
What to talk about when there is nothing to talk about?
It's simple, if a man came up, said a couple of "brilliant" compliments, asked for the phone and ran about his business. Then, at the very least, he will prepare for the next meeting, and you will find something to talk about.
And if you met in a cafe or on an airplane, and you have a long conversation? After all, from how pleasant and meaningful this conversation turns out to be, you will draw conclusions about it, and he will about you. It's good when you got a balabol, who, on his ability to chat about everything in the world, will make the conversation both interesting and funny. And if not?
Then the pleasure of the conversation is your concern. Now it depends on you whether the interlocutor will tell you something exciting, or you will lazily toss phrases about the weather, he will reveal his best sides or turn out to be his own pale shadow. Because you have all the means to build the conversation the way you need it.
There are several simple, but very important rules based on the simple idea that you, to put it mildly, are not very familiar and it is not yet a fact that you will continue to communicate:
Once again, your goal is to leave a good impression and find an opportunity to continue communication. More precisely, to make him want to meet again. Do you want to, this is the second question. But in order to become the mistress of the situation, the first question must be resolved.
The core of the basics that you need to master is the technology of setting open questions... What is an open-ended question? This is a question that requires a lot of talk to answer. By contrast, there are still closed questions, the answer to which is "yes" or "no", and alternative offering several options to choose from.
Closed question Is a way to get quick confirmation along the way and continue to develop your thought. This is clear? How to throw a ball into the wall. Throw, and you have it again. Closed questions are still suitable for approving the agreements reached. You will pick me up tomorrow at eight in the evening, right?
Alternative question- this is a classic nelper method of manipulation, when we offer to make a choice between options, each of which suits us. Is that clear too, or do you need to reread this paragraph to understand? A person thinks that he chooses, but he will make decisions about what is not important for us.
Conversational hypnosis in action.
What questions will be open?
Any that start with question words. Who, when, why, why, how, where, what, what ... Practice:
- What films do you like?
- How do you spend your free time?
- Which of the movie heroes are you closest to?
- What do you value most in women?
- Where did you learn French?
He answers, and you can ask questions to clarify, clarify and justify his words. Why do you think so? Why did you choose this particular option? How did you find this agency? Find what is unclear to you and ask a question. What could be easier!
Several years ago I dropped in for a training session with my colleague. I was allowed to sit for no more than half an hour, since a colleague noticed that most of the group began to turn to me, and not to her, although I didn’t say a word. Of course it was self-indulgence, but how did I do it? Via supportive hearing... Whenever someone from the group spoke, I turned the body in his direction, established eye contact and nodded slightly to the beat of his speech. Everything! The effect is amazing!
It has been checked many times: a person can talk for hours, provided that his interlocutor is listening correctly. How? Expressing your attention and support. What exactly do you need to do?
- Shut up... Just stop interrupting and interrupting with your lines.
- Watch... Turn to him, look, almost in the mouth, but it is better just to the side of the face or at gestures. Open your eyes a little wider. You can open your mouth a little and slightly tilt the head to one side. Can't resist!
- Nod... He says - you nod. At the same pace. In the same rhythm.
- Give a buzz... In each of his pauses, insert your "Yes", "Uh-huh", "Aha", "So", "Good", "Mmm" ...
- To withdraw... When he speaks emotionally, respond with his emotions - “Great!”, “Wow!”, “Wow!”, “Really ?!”, “Fantastic!” ...
- Nudge... He thought, you right there: “And then?”, “And then what?”, “And what is she?”, “And what did you do?”.
- Clarify... Ask clarifying and clarifying questions - "What is ...?", "Why did you choose ...?", "Why do you need ...?"
In general, try to hear and understand. Find common ground. Find an opportunity to agree. You still have time to argue and even quarrel. And now - search for common places. Seeking consent.
By the way, what if he brings up a topic that you would like to stop? Stop supportive listening first - distract, detach, detach. Then change the topic to a more appropriate one. How? The question, of course. However, we will talk about this later.
First, he will tell you himself if you ask. Secondly, if you use supportive listening, he will somehow be "brought" into his favorite topics. Thirdly, the method of iterating over topics will help you, but there are also some tricks.
For example, you may notice that people often do not so much answer a question as they express their thoughts and feelings. You ask what kind of cars he likes, he replies that on such roads you need to drive a tractor or a tank. Fine! Its theme is roads. You ask what time it is, he names, and adds that there is more than enough time. Wonderful! This is a good reason to discuss your nearest plans.
Just keep track what question does the person actually answer, and you will understand what topic he is concerned about now. Important note! So you can fall into one of the problematic topics, so we carefully monitor his emotions. We develop a positive interest. Woeful - we suppress.
In general, observing the reactions of the interlocutor is the most important skill of a successful communicator. It needs to be constantly improved. Talk about cats - watch the reaction. Talk about the holiday - watch the reaction. Talk about training - watch the reaction. Whatever you talk about, watch the reaction! If on some topic he “turned on”, “lit up”, filled with enthusiasm - develop it. If at the mention of something he "sour", got bored and began to get distracted - change the topic.
But what if a topic that interests him is not interesting to you? This should not be allowed, because if you yourself get bored, it will very quickly be reflected on your face, and all supportive listening techniques will be significantly less effective. What to do? Remember the principle of the alternative question? He must choose from those options that suit us. There is a range of topics that interest you. Among them we choose what to talk about. Mathematically speaking, we look for intersections in our area of interest. What is interesting to both is the desired topic. But to find it, you need to look. Those. change topics regularly and watch for reactions.
In NLP, all the ways to change the topic of conversation fall into three main categories: start talking about more, start talking about less, move along analogies... How does it look in practice? Suppose you have noticed that he is not inspired by the discussion of the last album of the singer "Maxim", how can you change the subject?
- Enlargement... From the last album "Maxim", you can enlarge the theme to the entire work of "Maxim", or even more - to the entire stage, even more - to art in general. And after a couple of phrases, you are already far enough from the original topic.
- Detailing... From the same album, you can shift to a discussion of a specific song or melodic transition, or to a voice, or to the introduction to a song.
- Bias... If the work of "Maxim" does not inspire him, you can start discussing the singer herself and her figure, or you can shift to the work of the group "Time Machine" or the artist Aivazovsky.
With the right skill, you can easily and naturally shift to almost any topic, especially if you learn to combine the three. Want an example? How to come from the topic "Putin is the best president" to the topic "Which cake is the tastiest"? Very simple! Putin is the best president, I generally prefer the best.
Both at work and on vacation. For example, when we were vacationing in Spain, I saw the best cake in my life on the window of a pastry shop! And then about the cakes.
Changing the theme is easy! The main thing is to do it on time: not letting the conversation fizzle out, not allowing it to go negative and avoiding getting hung up on one thing. Let's fly! Easy! Like a butterfly!
So, you already know that the conversation should end at the peak of positive emotions. You can make him talk more. You can find interesting topics and change them easily. You forward information about your resources and capabilities and cut information from him.
What is the best way to end the conversation? What do you need to have in the "bottom line"? Several interesting topics started, but not exhausted. Several times mentioned your resources, which, in one way or another, interested him. Understanding of his interests. AND? Reason for the next meeting.
Best of all, of course, if he himself proposes, and you "substitute" for it. How? He says he has a great movie on DVD - you say you would like to see it. Let him offer to meet to watch or to give the disc. You mention that you have not been to the theater for a long time, he, in turn, has a chance to invite you. He shares that he can't find a good tie for a suit, you suggest that you were just praised for your excellent taste. Let him ask for help in choosing! Etc.
A man who is looking for a reason for the next meeting will gladly seize on any offered chance. But give him a discount on his slow-wittedness and give him a few options. Stand style only. Let the initiative come from him!
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Self-development1-11-2014, 19:02
How to be a good conversationalist
In the lives of many people, the process of communication takes up a very large part of the time. After all, the ability to speak, listen, read and write are the most important abilities that help to achieve success in life, ensure effective joint activities of people. Therefore, it is very important to be able to conduct a dialogue correctly in order to achieve good results in the process of work, in personal life, in communication with relatives and friends. Becoming a good interlocutor, you will attract many people to yourself, learn to have interlocutors to yourself, to achieve the results you need.
1. Smile.
After all, any communication, started with a smile, already disposes a person to you. By smiling, you show that you are sincere and open to productive dialogue. It is worth mentioning that a smile can be felt even when talking on the phone.
2. There is something to talk about with any person. It is necessary to determine what interests the person and start a conversation on this topic. There are very few people who are not interested in anything. In any case, you can talk about this person himself. Show attention to him, show genuine interest, and later you will find many topics for conversation.
3. If you are not understood, it means that you did not express yourself correctly and easily enough. Build your speech so that everything is very clear to the interlocutor. Then you will stop being annoyed and angry with a person who did not understand you or misunderstood you.
4. Compliment. Feel free to show yourself as a positive person and to cheer up the people around you. Remember that compliments should come from the heart. Outright flattery will only alienate people from you. However, don't be afraid to compliment someone who did a great job. Thank those who cheered you up with a good joke. Compliment someone who is stylishly dressed. But we must not forget that everything should be in moderation.
5. Receive active listening. You will show in this way that you hear the interlocutor and understand what the conversation is about. Look at the person with whom you are talking, nod your head, comment on his story, but do not interrupt. You can help find the necessary words and phrases when the interlocutor hesitated, ask questions, continue the thought. So you will make it clear that the person is interesting to you. And this will make you want to continue communicating with you.
6. Try to call the person you are talking to by name more often. As psychologists have proven, the sound of a proper name is the most pleasant and sweet sound for a person's ear. After all, the name is given to a person at birth and he bears it throughout his long life.
7. Speak clearly and simply. Even if both you and your interlocutor have several higher educations, do not use complex scientific terms and phrases in a conversation. There is no need to try to give yourself some dubious status with the form of abstruse conversation. Any smart person will still understand how smart or stupid you are.
8. Do not interrupt the interlocutor and do not give advice for which you are not asked. Listen to the person to the end, and then comment on his words. This will show that you are interested in talking to him. By interrupting, you show your bad manners. If you feel the urge to give unsolicited advice, suppress that urge. Otherwise, the person will think that you consider yourself smarter than him, and this is an obstacle to successful communication.
9. The conversation should be interesting for you. If you have to keep up a conversation about something that you are not interested in, try to delve into the topic of the conversation. Otherwise, the person, not feeling feedback, will stop talking.
10. Remove the pronoun "I" from the conversation. Everyone knows that all people are selfish by nature. And, as a rule, everyone wants to listen mainly to their beloved ones. But this approach to communication is wrong. Try to use other shades of utterances instead of combinations with the pronoun "I". For example, instead of “I want” to say: “I want to” or “I would like to”. This will slightly change your speech and will endear the interlocutor to you.
A good companion can be a person who is interested in a wide variety of areas of life, from fashion and style, to hunting and fishing. If there is no thirst for new knowledge, curiosity, interest in life in all its vivid manifestations, then it is quite difficult to become a good conversationalist. After all, only by showing interest in the interlocutor, maintaining a conversation on any topic, showing your disposition towards him, you thereby form interest and an excellent attitude towards yourself.
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How to become an interesting conversationalist?
Everyday communication is an integral part of our life. The ability to keep up a conversation is a necessary skill for any person.
Some people are so bright and cheerful that they attract and attract others like a magnet. However, not all of us know how to become an interesting conversationalist. But if you are pleasant in communication, you can get hold of good prospects in your life, not only in the field of acquaintances and friendship, but also in career growth.
How to become an interesting person and conversationalist?
To understand how to become a good and pleasant conversationalist, it is worth considering some guidelines regarding this issue.
- First of all, learn to listen and hear the person you are talking to. Most people love to talk about their life, their interests, feelings and experiences, but finding someone who can listen is not easy. Also, never interrupt.
- Listening carefully to your interlocutor, you can learn a lot about him and, accordingly, ask questions about the topic. When he sees that they are sincerely interested in him, then it becomes very pleasant and easy to communicate with such a person.
- Sometimes you need to be able to feel what the interlocutor wants to hear from you. Perhaps he needs words of sympathy or support, or maybe he needs motivation in some area.
- If you notice that a person knows how to do something well or is well versed in something, be sure to emphasize this dignity and praise. Everyone likes to be admired and said nice words.
However, this must be done sincerely, since fake compliments only repulse.
What to read to become an interesting conversationalist?
Reading books is a very useful activity for self-development. Also, thanks to him, our speech becomes much richer, and communication is much more interesting. Try to read encyclopedias more and memorize some interesting and fascinating facts. In conversations, this can be very useful, and you can keep the conversation going on any topic.
A better understanding of others will help the study of books on psychology. How to Win Friends and Influence People? Dale Carnegie will teach you how to easily and freely apply the principles of psychology in everyday communication with different people.
Do you dream of becoming an interesting conversationalist and always being in the spotlight? Effective advice from a psychologist will help you become an interesting conversationalist today!
Well, who doesn't dream of being liked by everyone around ?!
Agree, there is hardly such a person on earth.
We all want love, universal recognition and worship, but we do not know at all how to achieve this.
So that become an interesting conversationalist, must be:
- groovy;
- charismatically active;
- interesting;
- and a great listener.
It should be understood that it is simply impossible to please everyone!
After all, not everyone likes the gorgeous Brad Pitt.
However, it's not all bad.
And if you cannot please all people on earth, then you can easily.
Of course, this is not easy, but quite real.
And if you decide, by all means, to become an interesting interlocutor, then the following tips will help you in this difficult matter.
A bore will never be an interesting conversationalist
Believe me, nobody can ever be interested in being boring.
Yes, because people will quickly get bored of hearing for the hundredth time the story that your ex is a goat or how you chose the battery in the kitchen.
Other nerds may find such a story exciting, but your goal is to become an interesting conversationalist, not to create a club of nerds.
Charismatic person = good listener
Remember, all charismatic people are good listeners.
Do not feed us with bread - just let us tell our beloved about yourself!
We absolutely do not like to delve into other people's problems.
Knowing this feature and starting to listen to the interlocutor, you will instantly turn into a good listener with whom they will share their experiences, and with whom they will be consulted in any trifles.
Talk about the interests of your interlocutor
Find out from your interlocutor about his hobbies, ask leading questions.You can even discuss his interests.
Research conducted by psychologists has shown that when talking, the focus is on facial expressions and gestures.
Often, with a confident tone and with the right gestures, you can carry such nonsense that the listeners will pray for this person!
And this is pure truth!
Note that at the university it often happens that poor students who confidently carry bullshit get a higher grade than stuttering crammers who answer all questions correctly.
Diversify your life
Meet interesting people, read interesting books and just live an interesting life!
as always, stay interesting and never fall on your face in the mud!
Let's take a note.
Trust me, when you have all of the above, you just won't need to become an interesting conversationalist.
Your life will be so diverse that other people will involuntarily begin to consider you an interesting interlocutor, and an interesting person.
Helpful article? Don't miss new ones!
Enter your e-mail and receive new articles by mailHow often do we dream of being liked by everyone? And how much needs to be done for this! You need to be funny, interesting, charismatic, a good listener. The list goes on and on. But here's something worth noticing. Absolutely every person cannot be liked. This is simply impossible, and in ours we have already said why.
But if it is impossible to please everyone and everyone, then it is still possible to be a person with whom it is simply interesting to communicate. This is also not easy and requires many qualities, but at least it is real. And for this you need to follow a few rules.
Don't be boring
It is very difficult for us to understand that we are boring at this moment in time, because each of us considers himself to be the best in everything. Do you tell an interesting story and see people yawning? Perhaps this story is not as interesting as it seems. Try to complete it and let other people speak.
The most charismatic people are always good listeners.
People love to talk about themselves to loved ones, which is why there is always a shortage of good listeners. Let the other person tell you about themselves. Ask him counter questions. Strangely, the people we like the most always say little.
Discuss the interests of the interlocutor
This problem is very well covered in the book by Dale Carnegie, a review of which you can find. Find out from the interlocutor about his hobbies, ask questions. And discuss them. You are already 80% close to being liked. If you are well versed in the interlocutor's hobbies, then you can easily keep the conversation going. If not, then ask him more details. He will tell you with great pleasure.
Rule of 3 stories
People aren't interested in the features of your new phone. What really turns them on are the real stories that happened to you. Dramas and reality shows have become popular for a reason. Therefore, always have 3 interesting stories to tell about. These stories should be engaging, emotional, and engaging. People should be wondering what will happen in the next minute?
Charisma
There is so much meaning in this word that it becomes difficult to understand what it really means. Someone says that they are born with charisma, while others believe that this skill is developed over the years. But here's what's interesting:
A 1967 study by two psychologists found that in conversation, only 7% of the focus is on words. The rest of the attention is paid to speech tone and body language.
Laugh. Smile. Be emotional. Don't forget about gestures and don't rely on words alone.
Chat with interesting people, read interesting books. The people you spend time with have a huge impact on your character, whether you like it or not. The most correct way to get interesting is to live an interesting life. And believe me, this will give you much more than a simple opportunity to be an interesting conversationalist.
How to interest the interlocutor? How to get interesting in a conversation? How to attract people and be able to communicate with any interlocutor? We will talk about all this in our article.
If you want to be interesting for the interlocutor, talk to him about what is interesting to him, copy his demeanor and be similar. After all, people like interlocutors who have similar interests - this is the simple theory that everyone can understand. And really, what is so difficult then?
But, as often happens, in theory one thing comes out, but in practice - quite another. Not all people can find common interests and common topics for communication, and you just don’t always understand the topic about which the interlocutor is talking. Therefore, if you suddenly have such a problem, below are some practical tips in order not to be a boring person and to interest the interlocutor in the conversation.
1. Your interlocutor's sphere of interest consists of several categories: “people”, “place”, “time”, “values”, “process”, “things”. Usually, people have a few things they love to talk about, and the rest are of little interest to them.
2. In order to be interesting to the interlocutor, it will be useful to identify those categories that are interesting to him. To do this, listen attentively to what the interlocutor says, if you have not yet started the conversation, or as an option, subtly ask his interests, try to prove your similarity to him and find common points of contact.
3. In a conversation, try to determine the character of your interlocutor (just do not give in to first impressions) and his mood at the moment. This will help you avoid conflict and present yourself in an unfavorable light.
4. It is better to present your shortcomings as a continuation of your merits, unobtrusively emphasizing them, maybe even with humor. This will help you not scare the person away and form a positive image of you as a person who does not hide his flaws, but does not flaunt them.
5. For a better understanding in practice, it is also worth getting to know each type of people separately, in order to determine the type of interlocutor in time and adapt to him.
So let's go:
1. An interlocutor who is interested in people, first of all, will talk about the environment, some personalities. It is important for him who he communicates with, how they communicate with him and what his environment is like. He loves to express opinions about other people.
2. The interlocutor, who is interested in the place, is primarily interested in the space in which he is, and the things that surround him. He may have traveled a lot and loves to talk about his favorite attractions and places in your city.
3. An interlocutor who is interested in time will, oddly enough, be interested in time and terms. Everything related to the passage of time is his strong point. Maybe you will hear in a conversation his last story about how he left the house late and was almost late for work, or nostalgia for the old times in which he lived.
4. The interlocutor, who is interested in values, will tell you about his view of the world and, possibly, compare them with others. He can either act in his own way, if he values personal freedom, or do unpleasant work because “this is how it should be”. Usually such people look at the world pragmatically, looking for any benefit in everything, for themselves and, perhaps, others.
5. The interlocutor who is interested in the execution process and the sequence of execution will ask you not about what he needs to do, but HOW to do it. He may have good juxtaposition and analysis skills, and sort things out step by step. In addition, keep in mind that for most people, the pleasure and emotions obtained from doing something are also important.
6. The interlocutor, who is interested in objects, will pay attention to the objects around him. He will certainly pay attention to where the TV is and what kind of TV it is, in his speech you can often hear the names of some things, perhaps not only material, but also spiritual.
It is worth noting that people's interests can be combinations, and you will not find a completely pure type anywhere.
And the main advice that can be given in this article is more practice and personal experience. Use the theoretical knowledge you gain, but draw your own conclusions.
People with whom it is interesting to communicate have been appreciated at all times, starting with the cavemen. After all, there is no greater pleasure for a person than talking with his own kind, while showing himself and listening to others. In general, a good interlocutor is a great rarity, and when you discover it, you feel incomparable pleasure. Most of the people among whom our life flows either are not able to connect two words, in any case, to do it logically and fascinatingly, or they are filled with a nightingale, but are fixated on themselves, loved ones, and are ready to devote tens of hours to describing their boring life circumstances.
Is it possible to learn to be an interesting conversationalist if by nature you do not possess either eloquence or special charm? Psychologists say you can. After all, the main quality that people value in communication partners is not the ability to speak beautifully, but the ability to listen well. And this wisdom can be mastered by anyone, especially if there is a desire.
What else should a person do in order to be known as a pleasant interlocutor and invariably gather around interesting and popular personalities?
- Ask. We have already understood that the main thing that people need is our interest. By observing our sincere interest in our person, people feel significant and admirable. And this is pleasant to everyone. To emphasize your interest in the words of the interlocutor, it is not enough just to listen to what he is saying. It is necessary to ask questions that are pertinent in the course of the plot: “And what is he? What is she? And then what? And how did they react to that? " etc. It's also good to nod your head, dilate your pupils in surprise and issue exclamations of approval.
Give compliments and other nice things. Encourage the narrator's appearance, behavior, and attitudes. You like it all, don't you? If not, why are you communicating with this person? Find yourself another, closer in spirit, companion. In your quest to be an interesting interlocutor, you do not need to go too far and listen to the speeches of those who are not interesting to you. Conversation is a two-way process and both parties should have fun. If this is the case, feel free to put it into words.
- Observe the interlocutor. Maybe he's bored and wants to change the subject? Ask a question from another area that you think may be of interest to him. Tell something yourself, see his reaction. If he responds quickly, continue to develop the topic, ask his opinion on certain issues. If your pitch doesn't find support, try something else. Talk about his friends, family, hobbies. Some topic will certainly be interesting to him.
If you are tired of listening and admiring, and you want to be heard now, this can also be arranged.
Learn to express your thoughts and judgments in a logical, easy and beautiful way. If you are silent by nature or are distinguished by tongue-tiedness, this can and should be fought. You can start with a letter. Writing is easier than speaking: the situation is calm, there is no tension, there is time to think about graceful wording. It doesn't matter what you write: a diary, a personal blog, a detective story, or an essay on a free topic. Even the result is not paramount. The main thing is practice. You will be able to develop the ability to express what you think with regular exercise. Once you have learned to communicate in writing, it will not be too difficult for you to transition to coherent speaking.
- Practice speaking. This is advice for inexperienced interlocutors who get lost in the company, begin to mumble something indistinctly, insert comments inappropriately and are often ready to sink into the ground. If you are afraid of everyone's attention and at the same time crave for it (not such a rare combination), first practice in front of the mirror. Choose an arbitrary topic, you can at random by opening a dictionary or a book, and start developing it. The topic could be captive breeding of a kangaroo or how an e-bike works. It does not matter. Do not worry, no one sees you, you can carry complete nonsense and nonsense, most importantly, do it easily and confidently. If you are afraid that you will be heard and called by orderlies, make sure that you are secluded: check doors, windows and hidden places for bugs. You can record your speech on a voice recorder. This will make it easier for you to spot all the flaws in your public speaking and correct them in order to be an interesting conversationalist.
- Read on. To develop the ability to speak and tell stories, it is very useful to study samples: classics and modern literature, women's novels and police detectives, glossy magazines and political newspapers. In all this printed matter, you can find the element you need - a foldable and captivating speech. Learn from the experience of storytellers, use new words and interesting topics to improve your own status as an interesting interlocutor.
- Stay up to date. If you haven't watched the new Tom Cruise movie or read Pelevin's recently released novel, you won't have much to discuss with your friends. Of course, if your friends are interested in these particular characters. Follow the latest news in sports or politics, on Facebook or YouTube, in the glossy or on the Fashion channel. And then they will contact you to find out something new, to discuss events, to get your opinion. An opinion at first, if you are an inexperienced talker, can be prepared in advance. But in no case should you stop at this stage. Develop not only speech, but also the brain. Have your own opinion on all issues.
- Develop a sense of humor. A witty interlocutor especially attracts attention, both of his own and of the opposite sex. And in our time, wit is especially appreciated, it is not for nothing that KVN and Comedy Club are so popular, and every self-respecting channel has its own sketch show and other humorous delights. Acquiring wit, or at least a reputation for being humorous, is difficult, but possible. Study the primary sources. Read Ilf and Petrov, listen to the radio "Humor FM" and watch TV, there is especially a lot of fun, and not always in humorous programs. At first, you can use blanks: learned anecdotes, jokes heard somewhere, funny stories that happened to others. Just don't force them into the conversation. Wait for the right moment to make a splash and hear a burst of laughter.
- Be yourself. But in its best, positive and optimistic version. If you are overcome by problems, you do not need to load others with them with a gloomy expression on their faces. Either keep quiet, or talk about what happened with humor. This will not only amuse your interlocutors, but it will also help you to abstract from the situation and look at it from a different angle. Enjoy communication, it is always noticeable and pleasant to those with whom you spend time. If it doesn't work out, spend your time in some other way. You do not need to force yourself to do what you do not want, this will inevitably lead to the accumulation of tension and damage to character and behavior.