Incidents 

Changes in the emotional sphere during adulthood. Features of the emotional sphere of a woman of early and mature adulthood in marriage Factors affecting the development of the emotional sphere of a woman

The world is changing rapidly. The modern family is also changing.

How does it differ from the traditional family model? Why do people get married today? What are the expectations from the relationship? Where are the family "pitfalls" hidden? How to keep your family together and be happily married today?

In my psychotherapeutic practice, I am increasingly faced with the fact that people are not satisfied with the quality of family life. They talk about boredom, lack of meaning in relationships, loneliness in the family, lack of mutual understanding on the part of the spouse. Marriages fall apart so easily today.

Agree, it is difficult to imagine that the issues of the quality of marital relations worried about our great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers 80-100 years ago. Boredom and loneliness, if noticed by them, were hardly the reasons for divorce.

A hundred years ago, the family was created with the aim of procreation, preservation and increase of capital, regulation of sexual life. The individual was strictly subject to family values ​​and rules. The interests of the family took precedence over the interests of the individual.

Today everything is different. Modern couples expect other "dividends" from marriage - mutual understanding, support, respect for their individuality. You don't need to survive.

A woman is able to support herself and raise a child on her own. The ban on sex outside of marriage has long ceased to exist. In marriage, we seek not protection and financial support, but comfort, warmth and emotional closeness.

About 15 years ago, I asked my grandmother if she loved her grandfather when she got married. I remember how she looked at me in surprise, sighed and replied: "What are you talking about! What love? The war is over, there were no men. My parents married me to my grandfather, because he was hard-working, he had arms and legs. He was came from the war not disabled, what more could you want? We did not think about any love, we had to somehow live. " Together they lived for more than 40 years until the death of their grandfather. They did not speak or think about love, but there was no talk of divorce either.

It is unlikely that today anyone is getting married or getting married for such reasons. We are spoiled by prosperity and security, we want love, mutual understanding and emotional contact.

Today the family is built on this fragile, complex and changeable foundation. Can you imagine how difficult it is to keep it? No natural and iron bonds in the form of fear of poverty, hunger or social condemnation.


It turns out that in order to be in a happy marriage today, you need to own another tool - what we usually call emotional intelligence. It seems that today without him anywhere. And my grandmother didn’t even know a word like that.

Emotional intelligence(EI; English emotional intelligence, EI) - a person's ability to recognize emotions, understand the intentions, motivation and desires of other people and their own, as well as the ability to manage their emotions and the emotions of other people in order to solve practical problems.

The modern family makes very difficult demands on us, to some extent it was even easier for our grandmothers. The ability and ability to build and maintain relationships is perhaps the most delicate and difficult competence.

If you try to derive a formula for the happiness of a modern family, then it may look like this - "How can I be myself, maintain my individuality and at the same time be together, be deeply connected with you." In other words, how to be both separate and together at the same time.

That is why the advice of our mothers and grandmothers about pies, borscht and snow-white tablecloths, about traditional male and female roles in marriage does not work. The family has moved to another level, where the ability to communicate deeply, to create and maintain an atmosphere of understanding, trust and respect for the partner's individuality comes first.


What do you need to understand and be able to do for your family to be strong and healthy? I have been working with families as a therapist for a long time and I see that many problems in marriage can be avoided by following these rules:

1 ... Don't be afraid of conflict. Conflict is not always a quarrel; it is an opportunity to take a relationship to a higher level. Conflict indicates that in some place your needs or values ​​and the needs of your partner do not match.

Hushing up or avoiding sharp corners will not lead to any result, except for the accumulation of negativity and distance from each other. The contradiction will remain as it was.

But clarification of the essence of the conflict and the search for ways to resolve it creates the practice of constructive dialogue, respect and trust, "together we can handle it."

2 ... Learn to recognize your feelings and motives for actions and actions. High personal awareness, understanding yourself helps to understand the person next to you.

3 ... Do not suppress or suppress your negative feelings. Almost everyone who cares about a relationship tends to suppress irritation, anger, or resentment. We sincerely believe that in this way we save each other from scandals and quarrels. I will upset you - we are not saving you.

Anger and irritation carry a lot of energy, if you do not take them out into a constructive dialogue, but accumulate them, sooner or later they will burst like overheated steam from a boiler. And then it will not seem enough to anyone.

Paradoxically, the desire to protect from aggression also leads to it. Do not tolerate, talk to each other about what does not suit you in a relationship or hurts, learn to conflict efficiently and constructively.

4 ... The family is a complex organism, it obeys the laws of the existence and development of systems. At the birth of children, illness of family members, moving, etc., the family system goes through crises. They are inevitable and necessary so that the family can rebuild and adapt to new conditions of existence.

If you know about this, then "the one who is forewarned is armed." And more prepared for a difficult period.

5 ... In any difficult situation, sit down at the negotiating table. The ability and willingness to talk to each other, to be sincere and open is a sign of a healthy, dynamically developing relationship.

6 ... Each of us comes into a marriage or relationship with our own picture of how it should be, derived from past experiences or parental family. There are as many family lifestyles, traditions, and methods of housekeeping as there are families themselves in the world.

Imagine thousands of combinations. Someone's way of caring for the family is helping with the housework, someone's - flowers to his wife every week. Someone is used to expressing their love in deed, you will not get warm words from him, but for another, the emotional stinginess of a partner is considered dislike, because dad was very warm and emotional in childhood.

And with all this baggage, we come to marriage, sincerely believing that our way of life is the only possible and correct one. Well, it’s obvious that the towel after the shower should be folded and hung neatly on the edge of the bathtub. Everyone in my family did that. And then it turns out that the husband throws him anywhere, sometimes even on the floor. Because no one in his family paid attention to it at all.

You may find it funny now, but because of such moments, families often collapse. Simply because we are often not ready to take into account the difference in our "world pictures".

Instead of understanding the picture of a spouse, comparing it with our own and looking for a third option that suits both, we often unleash a "power struggle" in the family. The battle for whose picture of the world is more correct. It’s obvious that it’s mine. And he simply does not understand the obvious things.

There are no obvious things and no correct picture of the world. There are different. And you can definitely build more harmonious and healthy relationships if you are interested in each other, be impressed by the differences and respect them. There is no struggle for power in the family, yes - cooperation and mutual respect.

Empathy changes. Age-related changes in the level of empathy in women and men according to the data of E.P. Ilyin and A.N. Lipina are presented in table. 1.4.

The level of empathy steadily increases from adolescence, reaching a maximum value in women and men aged 40–50 years. At this age, the level of empathy is twice that of 15–20-year-olds. In the future, there is a sharp drop in the level of empathy in both women and men, the minimum is observed at 60–75 years. In this age group, the level of empathy is even lower than that of 15–20 year olds.

Table 1.4. The severity of empathy in adult men and women of different ages, points

In men, the level of empathy in all age groups, except for the last one, is lower than in women (the differences are significant in three age groups).

Age-related changes in sentimentality. Sentimentality is understood as excessive emotional sensitivity, which has a tinge of sweetness, sugary tenderness or tearful affection. A sentimental person is able to easily be moved, moved, emotionally excited, he easily comes into a state of affection, that is, he shows tender "feelings" in relation to an object that seems to him touching.

The age dynamics of the severity of sentimentality in adult women and men in different age groups according to the data of E.P. Ilyin and A.N. Lipina (2007) is shown in Fig. 1.9.

Rice. 1.9. Age-related dynamics of changes in sentimentality

As follows from the data presented in the figure, the average group values ​​of the sentimentality indicator steadily increase with age, reaching a maximum in both women and men aged 50–60 years. However, at the age of 61–75 years, there is a sharp decline in sentimentality. Differences between adjacent age groups are significant in most cases (at the level of 0.05–0.001).

It should be noted that the average values ​​of the sentimentality indicator in men are significantly lower than the values ​​of the sentimentality indicator in women in all age groups. The revealed differences are statistically significant in all age groups, except for one.

Age dynamics of the properties of emotionality. The properties of emotionality include emotional excitability, intensity and duration of emotions. As seen in Fig. 1.10, average value of the indicator emotional excitability in women, at first it is kept at the same level in the age groups of 15–20 and 21–30 years, and then begins to gradually decrease. In the sample of 51-60-year-old women, there is a slight increase in the level of emotional excitability, but already in the next age sample, among women aged 61-75, there is a sharp decrease in this indicator and it reaches its minimum.



Rice. 1.10. The severity of the properties of emotionality in adults of different ages. Emotional irritability (top figure), intensity (middle figure) and duration of emotions (bottom figure)

Thus, we can say that there is a tendency for the female sex to decrease the level of emotional excitability from adolescence to old age.

In men, in principle, the same tendency (albeit poorly expressed) of changes in the level of emotional excitability with age is observed, namely, its gradual decrease (only in the sample of men of 41-50 years old there is a rather significant jump upward of this indicator, and then again its decrease is observed ). As in the samples of women, emotional excitability is maximal at the age of 15–20 years and is minimal in the age group of 61–75 years.

It should be noted that the level of emotional excitability in men in all age groups was significantly lower than in women (the differences are significant).

Age-related dynamics of the severity of the intensity of emotions. The maximum intensity of emotions in women is observed in the sample aged 15–20; further, there is a gradual decrease with age in the severity of this characteristic of emotions, although at the age of 31 to 60 years, there is a stabilization of the severity of this property of emotionality.

In men, the same tendency is noticeable, but it is less pronounced due to the large spread in the average group values ​​of the intensity of emotions in different age groups. However, as in the samples of women, the intensity of emotions in men is least expressed in the older samples, that is, at the age of 51–60 and 61–75 years.

The indicators of the intensity of emotions in all age groups, except for the group of 31–40 years old, were lower in men than in women. The differences are significant in four out of six age groups.

Age-related dynamics of the duration of experienced emotions. The data obtained in relation to this property of emotionality differ significantly from the data obtained in relation to emotional excitability and the intensity of emotions, namely, there is not a decrease in indicators, but, on the contrary, their gradual increase. In other words, we can say that while emotional excitability and intensity of emotions decrease with age, the duration of emotions experienced by a person, on the contrary, increases. This is observed in both women and men. In men aged 31–40 years, there is a slight decrease in this indicator, but already at the age of 41–50 years we see a noticeable jump upward, and then it rises up to the oldest of the studied samples of men 61–75 years old.

You should also pay attention to the fact that in all age samples in men, compared with women, the duration of the experience of emotions is shorter.

Thus, taking into account all the data we obtained on the emotional manifestations of men and women, we can conclude that throughout all age stages, men have less emotionality than women. With regard to age-related changes in various manifestations of emotionality, there are different dynamics. Sentimentality and empathy increase up to a certain age and decrease with old age; emotional excitability and the intensity of the experience of emotions decrease with age, and the duration of the experience of emotions increases. As a result, if among girls and young women (15–20 and 21–30 years old) and boys and young men (15–20, 21–30 and 31–40 years old), the indicators of emotional excitability and intensity of emotions prevailed over the indicator of the duration of emotions, then, starting from the age of 31–40 years, the ratios change. Now the indicators of the duration of emotions prevail over the indicators of emotional excitability and intensity of emotions.

The initiators of a number of large-scale international studies, conducted in many countries and covering more than 100 thousand people, found that life satisfaction increases with age, with a stronger effect among men than among women (WorldbValues ​​Study Group, 1994). The same pattern has been established for positive emotions. All these age-related changes can be associated with historical factors, that is, with the change of generations, and can be explained by the fact that life around the world is getting worse, brings less satisfaction. In this way, the elderly continue to be happier.

Longitudinal studies are designed to settle the disputes around this issue, in the framework of which observations are made of the same people over a long period of time. There are several similar works on the topic under consideration. Thus, Helson and Lohnen (1998) analyzed positive emotions. The survey involved 80 women and 20 of their spouses. Subjects were examined from twenty-seven years of age to 52 years of age.<…>During this period, there is a certain increase in positive and decrease in negative emotions.<…>

Several experimental studies have shown that positive emotions and life satisfaction are enhanced only in men, while the opposite is observed in women. Mroczak and Kolanz (1998) analyzed a large sample of Americans and studied the effect of age on emotional indicators.<…>It turned out that the growth of positive emotionality is observed only in male introverts. A decrease in negative emotions was observed only among married women.

M. Argyll, 2003. P. 186–187.

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Kadyrova Vera Khyzyrovna, post-graduate student of the Department of Social Psychology, FSBEI HPE "Nizhny Novgorod State Pedagogical University named after K. Minina ", N. Novgorod [email protected]

Psychological features of the emotional sphere of the elderly

Abstract: The article examines the social and psychological characteristics characteristic of the elderly. Within the framework of the problem under study, the results of a study conducted on the basis of the Regional Neurological Hospital of War Veterans of Nizhny Novgorod are presented, as well as their analysis. Key words: old age, old age, social status, retirement, stress.

Currently, there is an aging population in all countries of the world (especially the so-called highly developed), in which the limit of working capacity (retirement) is significantly ahead of the date of old age (70–80 years). After retirement, a modern person lives on average for another 15–20 years, which, in comparison with the average life expectancy, is a very significant time - about a quarter of it. The socio-demographic structure of modern society is characterized by a constant increase in the number of elderly and old people: in many developed countries there is a pronounced trend aging population. The tendency towards an increase in the number of the elderly and the elderly requires a deep study of demographic processes and, first of all, the problems of the elderly, the characteristics of their development, biological and social opportunities, their needs, active life, social protection and assistance, as well as a fundamental change in social policy in relation to this, the most socially unprotected categories of society. In this regard, there is an increased interest in this age stage of human development. About the personality of an elderly person, his motivation, emotional states, self-esteem and content of JAV, this period of life still has more obscurity than clear theoretical concepts and practical developments. In the mass consciousness, the role of the elderly person , the pensioner is not very clear. There is an opinion that when a person gets old, his family begins to make fewer demands on him, rejects him, thereby changing his status. Role uncertainty demoralizes the elderly and deprives them of their social identity. The moral system of modern Western civilization favors youth, energy, enthusiasm, and innovation as the antipodes of passive, sluggish old-fashioned old age. All these values, together with self-confidence, autonomy and independence, are transmitted during socialization to new generations who adopt age stereotypes along with the internalization of new role functions. From this point of view, old age is presented as a loss of social roles. The retirement period is considered by specialists as a period of crisis. Here it is necessary to divide the changes that occur in the life of an elderly person into two categories:

1) external changes: an increase in the amount of free time, a change in social status;

2) internal changes: loss of independence and dependent position from ~ 2 ~

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Families and societies, awareness of the changes associated with the loss of former physical and psychological strength.

The ongoing changes require a person to rethink his life, values, reassess himself and the world around him, and look for new ways to realize his activity. Undoubtedly, the beginning of the retirement period for a person is a situation of stress. For some, this process is painful, long, accompanied by negativism and gloomy experiences. In this case, the elderly will be characterized by passivity, inability to find new occupations, new social contacts. A person cannot take a fresh look at himself and the world around him, he cannot come to terms with his new social role. Another category of pensioners, on the contrary, quite quickly gets used to the new status of a “pensioner” and uses the new opportunities that accompany retirement with maximum benefit (they devote their lives to the family and raising their grandchildren, their hobbies, creativity). The general activity of older people plays a special role ... Among pensioners who lead a rational lifestyle, they maintain high physical and, especially, social activity, the level of adaptation is much higher than among pensioners who lead a passive lifestyle. One of the consequences of retirement is the loss of everyday patterns of behavior, which can provoke aggression A change in social status, a change in lifestyle, a narrowing of the circle of communication cannot but affect the behavior of a person, on his mental sphere. Fundamental studies of domestic and foreign experts testify (for all the complexity of this period) about the various manifestations of elderly people of a positive attitude towards life, to the people around, to oneself. During a later age, changes in personal properties are observed. They are due to the age characteristics of an elderly person. In an aging person, the activity of all sense organs gradually weakens, vitality and mobility disappear. People who are intensely active become more passive. A decrease in vital energy also affects emotionality. It is noted that people who have lived a stormy, emotionally tense life, gradually become more "calm", find joy in a narrower circle, sometimes their life becomes completely bleak. The circle of their feelings narrows, they concentrate their love on the family, or even on who one of its members (the only grandson or granddaughter), which becomes for them the center of all the joys of life. The hypothesis of the first stage of our study was the assumption that lonely elderly people less active, less sociable than representatives of the group of married (married) respondents. They have a worse emotional background, they tend to assess their well-being more negatively. The study was carried out on the basis of the Regional Neurological Hospital of War Veterans of the city of Nizhny Novgorod. In total, 97 people aged 60 and over with preserved intelligence took part in the study (whose behavior did not raise doubts among the hospital staff and other patients who were with them for a long time in the ward): 48 men, of which 23 respondents are married, and 25 are single and 49 are women, of whom 27 are married and 22 are single. The study was carried out for three months. The methods of assessing the level of sociability (V.F. Ryakhovsky's test), the test of communicative skills and the SAN method were used as research methods. Analysis of the results obtained by the SAN method shows that the wife ~ 3 ~

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Those men have higher rates than single men. This is probably due to the fact that when a man retires, taking care of his health and his daily routine now falls on the shoulders of his wife, who during this period of her life returns to the role of a mother, but in relation to her own husband. And, most likely, it is the presence of a spouse that explains the difference between the assessments of their condition by married and single men. Single men have to take care of themselves. But marriage is favorable for older men not only from the point of view of everyday life, but also from a psychological point of view - the spouse acts here already as a source of close emotional ties that have a positive effect on psychological health in old age. There are differences in the assessment of their functional state by married and single women. This may be due to the fact that an elderly married woman has to be active in caring for her spouse. Differences in the level of mood and well-being can be explained by satisfaction from emotional contacts with your spouse, which, in turn, has a beneficial effect on the background of mood and well-being, both psychological and physical. For older people, as well as for the younger generation, having close relationships in which they somehow share their concerns with their partner is an important source of emotional well-being. For old and elderly people who are married, the spouse often provides this kind of relationship. Although little is known about the qualitative side of the relationship between old spouses, the data obtained indicate that many old and elderly spouses rate their marriage positively, and some note increased satisfaction with marriage with age. the level of sociability of older people living in couples and singles. There are differences in the level of sociability of elderly single and elderly married respondents, which can be explained by the fact that married respondents satisfied the need for close emotional contacts, in contrast to single elderly women.

The subjects of both groups had normal communication skills. They are happy to communicate with new people, willingly enter into dialogue, are patient enough in communicating with others, but, nevertheless, strive to defend their point of view. They try to avoid noisy companies. Man is a social being and, being surrounded by other people, he certainly has a need to interact with them, a need for communication, which accompanies a person throughout his life. In old age, the need for communication persists; it is influenced by such factors as a large amount of free time associated with retirement, a change in the usual way of life, a change in the range of responsibilities and opportunities. Sometimes in old age, sociability flows into talkativeness. The results found using the methodology "Assessment of the level of communication skills" indicate that in the communication process, lonely elderly people identify more factors that cause resentment or irritation. They are critical of what they say and probably lack some of the virtues of being a good conversationalist. This is in contrast to older people living in pairs, who identified far fewer annoying situations when conducting dialogue. Perhaps this is due to the fact that married (married) people ~ 4 ~

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Older people have more experience in interpersonal communication and emotional contacts, due to which, they are more forgiving of their interlocutor. They are characterized by politeness in statements, understanding of their interlocutor, by adapting their pace of thinking to his speech. Thus, our assumption that older people living in marriage are more active, more sociable, they have better mood and well-being is confirmed.

Married (married) respondents did indeed have higher indicators in terms of well-being, activity, and mood than single elderly people. They are more tolerant of their interlocutor than single elderly people. Russia has accumulated a certain amount of experience in social work with the elderly, but it should be said that there are much more unresolved, complex problems here. It is necessary to understand and understand the multitude of psychological and ethical problems arising in the elderly, mastering techniques and technologies that would help in everyday practical social work. The scientific elaboration of the problem under study is as follows. Human aging is a complex process in which biological factors are closely related to social factors. Among these factors, including psychosocial, the position of an aging person in society, the national policy of the state in the organization of medical and social assistance to the elderly, is of great importance. This area of ​​modern scientific knowledge is sufficiently researched in almost all aspects, however, some problems are still in active development, for example, the search for causes that cause physical aging, the development of new methods for adapting older people to their new social role, etc. . The most acute problem is the limitation of the vital functions of the elderly. Restriction of life is understood as a complete or partial lack of a person's ability or ability to carry out self-care, movement, orientation, communication, control of their behavior, as well as to engage in work. In solving this problem, the improvement of the system of social and psychological rehabilitation and social assistance for the elderly is of paramount importance. is a complex of socio-economic, medical, legal, professional and other measures aimed at ensuring the necessary conditions and returning these population groups to a full-blooded life in society. Elderly people are that age group that has specific characteristics, needs, interests, life orientations. Scientific research shows that there are some characteristics of an older person's lifestyle. First, the social fullness of life is lost, the number and quality of ties with society is limited, sometimes there is self-isolation from the social environment, reality. Secondly, psychological protection, which should help organize mental balance, sometimes brings negative ~ 5 ~

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The effect. It is the elderly who are most often characterized by psychological defense of the type of denial, that is, the desire to avoid new information, other circumstances of life, incompatibility with the prevailing ideas. The main drama of an elderly person (not counting disability, serious illness, poverty or homelessness) is the drama of lack of demand: unrealized potential, a sense of their own uselessness. To address the priority tasks of serving the elderly, it is necessary to have a qualified cadre of social workers at all levels. Therefore, the question of preparing students of psychological faculties to work with elderly people is especially acute. In this regard, it is necessary to develop special training programs to help the elderly. Working with old people has always been considered and is considered everywhere one of the most difficult psychologically, it is not for nothing that the staff turnover is so high. It is no secret that at present the majority of social workers are forced to work with old people due to some life circumstances; true calling is extremely rare. In conclusion, I would like to quote the words of the hero of W. Shakespeare's comedy "The Merchant of Venice" Shylock: “Yes, I am an old man. But don't I have hands, organs, body parts, feelings, attachments, passions? Is it not the same food that satiates me, is it not the same weapon that wounds me, am I not susceptible to the same ailments, do not the same medicines heal me, do not the same summer and winter warm and chill me? If you prick me, don't I have blood? If you poison me, won't I die? "

References to sources 1. Tolstykh A. V. Life ages. –M.: Young Guard, 1998. –195p. 2. Alexandrova N.Kh. Features of human subjectivity in the late stages of ontogenesis: dis. ... dra of psychology. –Moscow, 2000. –212 p. 3. Stuart Hamilton J. Psychology of aging. –SPb: Peter, 2002. –256 p. 4. Bezdenezhnaya T.I. The psychology of aging: the path to longevity. –Rostovna Don: Phoenix, 2004. –32p. 5. Yatsemirskaya R.S., Belenkaya I.G. Adaptation to old age // Social gerontology. –M., 1999. –P. 143–160.6. Chebotarev DF, Mankovsky N.B. Handbook of Geriatrics. –M .: Medicine, 1973. –503 p. 7. Heuft G., Kruse A., Hartmut R. Gerontopsychosomatics and age-related psychotherapy. –M .: Academy, 2003. –363 p.8. Sokoreva IE Problems of an elderly patient: the view of a nursing manager // Clinical Gerontology. –2005. –№ 9. –С. 120-121.

Kadyrova Vera, postgraduate student of Department of Social Psychology of Nizhny Novgorod State Pedagogical University of K. Minin, Nizhny [email protected] features of the emotional sphere of elderly peopleSummary. Socialpsychological peculiarities typical of the elderly people are considered in the article. Within the framework of the studying problem the results of the research which have been conducted on the basic of the Regional Neurological Veterans’s of Wars Hospital of Nizhny Novgorod are represented. And we also have the analysis of the results. Keywords: advanced age, old age, social status, retirement, stress.

Reviewer: Gaponova Sophia Aleksandrovna, Doctor of Psychology, Professor, Head of the Department of Social Psychology, FSBEI HPE "Nizhny Novgorod State Pedagogical University named after K. Minin "

Specialists in the field of studying the emotional processes of the interaction of a person with the environment highlight the so-called emotional sphere in the formation of character and subjective reactions to external objects.

It is customary to use this concept when describing third-party factors affecting the formation of a personality, as well as a person's response to them.

In psychology, it is customary to distinguish two forms of manifestation of human experiences in relation to their behavior, as well as objects with which a person has to interact:

  • emotions- a permanently emerging evaluative reaction in relation to each individual event or action. It is the simplest manifestation of human experiences caused by the satisfaction or dissatisfaction of certain needs;
  • the senses- a more complex expression of emotions. It is characterized by a systemic attitude to external factors or events, which often justifies completely different models of human behavior in different situations. It is often the cause of persistent prejudice.

The emotional sphere is a set of manifestations of human experiences, both feelings and emotions in relation to a complex of objects in the environment, as well as in relation to one's own behavior.

The constituent components of the emotional sphere can have both positive and negative colors, and the formed ratio between them will determine the psychoemotional state of a person.

The influence of marriage on the emotional sphere of a woman

Women are less resistant to emotional shocks, and such a radical change in her life as marriage, transforms the emotional interaction of a woman with the outside world for two reasons:

  1. the circle of close communication changes, as does the proportion of communication time with different people, in particular with a spouse, due to which emotional habits are adopted;
  2. from a psychological point of view, a woman becomes more mature, feeling additional responsibility on herself, which leads to an accelerated reassessment of values.

The characteristics of the emotional sphere in marriage among the fair sex also directly depend on her age and the length of time she was married. It is customary to distinguish two transitional forms of psycho-emotional maturation of a woman.

Early adulthood

This period is a turning point in the self-positioning of any personality. Decisions, as well as interaction with the outside world, are now carried out from the perspective of an adult.

At an early stage, both men and women think and choose a model of behavior based on considerations of building a career and marriage.

And if for the social role of a man these directions are homogeneous, then for the spouse they stratify and come into conflict.

The desire to achieve simultaneous success in both career and family relationships often ends for a woman with a feeling of anxiety that she is sacrificing one of these two aspects, even in those cases when, by all accounts, she has achieved success in both in a different.

This is explained by the psychological tendency of the weaker sex to self-pity, as well as a high sense of responsibility, especially in cases where the family already has children. Also, the complexity of the period of early adulthood increases due to the fact that traditionally women are not inclined to look for a mentor or a typical model of behavior.

In the period of early adulthood, a woman especially needs a feedback from others (praise, compassion, etc.).

In adulthood

In adulthood, women experience a decrease in the dynamics of emotions and feelings. Long periods of preservation of emotions of one modality, most often negative, are observed, but there are often cases when old people retain good spirits until the end of their lives.

The low level of emotionality is explained by the change in the social and family role of women.

After retirement and the beginning of the family life of children, the emotional sphere of the spouses becomes in many ways similar and does not differ in a vivid manifestation of emotions and feelings.

The negative mood is especially acute in people who do not accept their new status or experience dissatisfaction with their retirement.

Empathy changes

Empathy in psychology is the ability of a person to empathize with the emotions of another. The ability to empathic listening is an understanding not only of the verbal part of speech, but also of the whole complex of emotions and experiences of the speaker.

Traditionally, women are 15-25% more empathic than men. The meaning changes depending on the nature and age of each individual pair of personalities. This difference between the sexes is especially acute in the 40-60 years of age of the couple.

As discussed earlier, significant changes occur in old age. First, after the age of 60, the level drops sharply, regardless of gender. And secondly, according to the results of many studies, the values ​​of the propensity for empathy in spouses are practically equalized, sometimes even with a preponderance towards men.

Indicators of inclination to empathy rise proportionally from 15 to 60 years. A slight drawdown is observed between 30-40 years. Experts explain this phenomenon with the maximum workload of spouses at this age, both career and family.

Age dynamics of sentimentality

Under the concept of sentimentality, it is customary to understand the sensitivity of a person to expressions of experience.... External impressions evoke a keen expression of emotions and feelings.

Sentimentality determines the instability of the emotional sphere of a person. The graphs of indicators of the dynamics of sentimentality depending on age and gender are in many ways similar to the data on empathy. With a clear advantage to women of all ages.

A person reaches the peak of sentimentality at the age of 45-55 with an obvious failure of indicators in old age. As shown by research data for different samples of subjects, the dynamics of changes in sentimentality in men is almost always the same. While the deviation of indicators exclusively among women is quite large.

But the regularity in the results obtained can still be traced. The sentimentality of married women is much higher than that of unmarried women. Scientists explain this phenomenon by the presence of acquired masculine traits in the behavior of the second group.

In addition, the level of sentimentality directly depends on the type and degree of extraversion of the woman's character.

Changes in the severity and duration of emotions experienced

Emotional irritability is the only indicator that studies have found to be less pronounced in women than in men.

With age, the difference in excitability is minimized and practically disappears by old age..

Psychologists note the stability of indicators in women at all ages, while the stronger sex has a pronounced negative dynamics.

Evaluative studies of the intensity of emotions in different sexes according to age show conflicting results. With the exception of middle age, which is the peak of the intensity of emotions in men. The intensity of emotions in women is an order of magnitude higher.

Well, the final subject of research in the field of the emotional sphere is the duration of emotions. As mentioned earlier, older people lose the dynamism of their emotional state, and homogeneous periods of mood last for them for a long time.

This is especially true for women in whom the duration of the emotional state throughout their life is consistently high.

The main distinguishing feature of the emotional sphere of married women should be highlighted. Marriage and the appearance of children means acceptance by the spouse of her role, which reveals exclusively the feminine behavior of the individual. And marriage, especially at an early age, is a stressful situation for the emotional sphere, leading a woman to an accelerated acceptance of a female model of behavior.

Unmarried ladies, in turn, are forced to combine these models in themselves, which brings their emotional indicators into an average value between the standard feminine and the standard masculine. That, from the point of view of psychology, is not a deviation from the norm, but significantly affects the emotional sphere and character of a woman.

As a rule, women are inherently more emotional, vulnerable and impulsive than men. Many people perfectly understand that women need to give positive emotions, but they often forget about the other side, or sometimes they simply do not attach much importance to the fact that women also need to throw out negative emotions - these are two important components of female happiness. This is an eternal question - what women want, in particular, what women want from men. And today we will talk about what women sometimes lack so much - emotional support.

Emotions are a woman's nature. About women's emotions

I never cease to refer to this amazing book from time to time, as it opens my eyes to many things, including the answer to the question “What do women want”. Women are also very sensitive to the emotions and intonations of men, so men often do not understand why women are offended, they do not notice and do not attach much importance to their words (intonation). “How could you say that?” The woman says, “How so? the head all day, the man answers, "Mmm, I didn't even pay attention" - the woman says offendedly, "What is it all about" - the man is defeated. Or just try to joke about the appearance of your beloved woman - they will be offended right away, it is better not to take risks in this way, do not even think of saying something bad about their beauty, this is a very vulnerable place for most women.

Men sometimes dismiss them “Yes, these women cannot be understood,” which means that they simply do not want to understand them. This is the same as the car does not go - well, her, constantly damn it breaks down, what she needs, drove and drove, and she took it out of the blue and stalled. And sometimes the problem is simply that gasoline has run out, but many in relationships do not want to delve into even small problems - it means selfishness, everyone wants to be understood, but he does not want to understand others, but at the same time does not want to admit it. Modern culture is built as it is - the relationship has become worse, we went to throw tantrums and look for another, which means - the gut is thin to love. Love does not only mean taking all the best, and when there is nothing left, then send it to all four sides, you need to learn to endure the shortcomings of a loved one.

"To educate by the strength of another person is called exploitation, and learning to accept is already called love." Oleg Torsunov

“But I don’t tolerate a woman’s tantrum, I was offended - her problems, that to be offended by trifles, the same reason for me, and nothing - he asks me for forgiveness later” - many men declare. And what do you think, she freed herself from negative emotions and experiences, no - she will explode even stronger later, and not that there will be no apologies, there will be no mercy, and you yourself will be to blame for this, and all because you did not want to understand feminine nature, you would have a feminine body - you would not live a day unprepared. Now, if your wife listens to you, when you shout at your boss after work, then you listen to your wife - this is what women want from men, although it is harder for women to listen to this, they have nowhere to put it, except to tell another. But a man can experience it inside himself, or at least not take everything so personally.

It is much harder for women to listen to guys "Dear, what is bothering you, I see that something is bothering you" - the woman asks, "It will be worse, you better not ask" - the man replies, "Yes, everything is fine, speak up" - the woman continues to insist. “Okay, listen,” the man breaks down, and as a result, “Why did you tell me all this?” The woman replies, “Well, you don’t need to say it,” the man ends the conversation. Men inside themselves can survive all this, they just do not need to be touched at this time, although sometimes they also need it. Yes, it worries you, you feel that something is wrong, but if he begins to share, as a rule, it does not get any easier, it only gets worse. Sometimes, not only a man, but also a woman needs to be alone, not to touch her for some time, let him just stay in silence, away from the hustle and bustle and endless streams of information. You should not pressure the person to open up in front of you, but at the same time show your loved one that you are ready to listen to him when he is ready for it.

What women want from men is attention and care, sincere, and not just for show. For many men, unfortunately, giving a gift is just doing something for show, and you try to show sincere attention to her needs and requirements, and at least ask how you spent your day - and really listen, and not like some formality. To listen to a woman is what they really want, and what they often lack, or when it’s bad - to hug and kiss, in one word to calm down. When a person does not put his soul into his actions, then such falsity is often noticed, especially by women. They do not need fur coats and diamonds first of all, but attention and care, but, unfortunately, even many women are convinced that happiness will come primarily from fur coats and diamonds, but still, after countless gifts, they remain in deep down unhappy and dissatisfied.

Why do many women want more and more things and there is no end to it - the guys are perplexed. And the fact is that they want happiness, they will not be satisfied with gifts alone, they are not satisfied with gifts, but love. They are trying to artificially create such an atmosphere around them - yes, this also plays a role, but without a close relationship, a woman will not be able to fully become happy. And the problem is that women look at others and begin to imitate them, seeing that many are striving for this - as a result, neither many women are aware of their deepest needs, nor are men. “What they just need, what the girls want” - the guys are surprised, well, I give her everything - an apartment, a car, and dresses, and jewelry, but she is still not satisfied, but she needs a deep relationship, she needs to give love - this is the main gift.

Women want companionship from men, deep warm heart-to-heart communication, many women themselves have perverted the concept of real happiness in their minds, and they sincerely believe that there is happiness in material gifts alone. Whatever one may say, you cannot leave with gifts alone, and if a man cannot have a heart-to-heart talk with his wife, then there will be another man to whom she will open up, and then there is no need to be surprised “How dare she, I give her everything, and she is what she repaid me ”- there’s nothing surprising at all, you didn’t give her the main thing. They need emotional support, they need a person next to them who could listen to them and endure their female behavior in a good sense of the word: sudden and unpredictable, often like an unreasonable expression of emotions, also whims, resentment, sometimes tantrums and the like, relieve them of fears and shield from ourselves, to help cope with our own emotions. Yes, they need it - such a person is able to save a woman from worries, from the accumulation of negative emotions, and gifts, jewelry, courtship, attention and the like are what fills women with positive emotions.

The man himself must also understand that not everything rests on the fact that he brings home his salary. The family is a team game, where everyone has an equal role. A man scores goals in attack - great, but you shouldn't think that everything is supported only on this, since the question is still how many balls hit your goal, where exactly. A man must learn to take on a feminine character.

“If a man is in control of his feelings, a woman feels very comfortable in the family. If a man is not in control of his feelings, the woman is constantly worried and twitches. If a man says to his wife: "Calm down in the end," it means that he does not understand who should be the first to calm down, he does not fulfill his duties " Oleg Torsunov

Where a woman is able to feel more love - when she is hugged at times when she feels bad, or when she feels good - of course, when she is in a bad mood. It is easy to calm down when she is a little sad, even pleasant at times - well, don't cry, don't cry, everything is fine. And when she really suffers, pushes you away, does not want to hug you back, and it is not clear what she needs, she is like a cobra at this time - the hunt to stay away from her. Now, if at this time a man dares to come and calm a woman, a deep trace of gratitude remains on her heart, this is true love. It manifests itself when a loved one is hard, not good., a woman sits at this moment rooted to the spot, and she does not even have the strength to say words of gratitude, it is at this time that she creates a belief in a man that he is a real man. But if a man calmed the woman down and drags her to bed, then this is a real goat who took advantage of the situation, and he does not have deep feelings for you, he really does not feel your worries.

The woman was offended that she was not hugged, and she hinted all evening - but men often do not notice this, do not understand at all what they are talking about, what hints. Then she becomes ill, you hug her and then the second test of strength - "You can only hug me when I feel bad" - the man is in a panic, I do not hug - bad, I hug - too, but what does she need - try to endure that. Then he says, “Let me go,” and breaks free, and resists for such a long time, and if you let go, then he will be offended even more, saying “He couldn't even hug me tightly,” and your any excuses will be smashed to smithereens. Then he can say a bunch of nasty things, all the sediment that has accumulated from time to time, such a specific outburst of negative emotions, and all this must be endured with dignity, without saying anything in response. This is the real test of how much you love your woman, how much you understand and realize what women want from men.

Men are able to experience emotions within themselves, the psyche works this way, but we are talking about real men, and not who are as emotional as women. And for this you need to be able to control your feelings, a man should not be strongly attached to a woman, otherwise he will react very strongly to a woman's mood, and their mood changes very often . In women, it is different, they can only accumulate and throw out their emotions. So when women do not throw out their emotions, crush them, or there is simply no one to throw them out, then in this case problems arise both with the psyche, the general emotional background, and with health. As a rule, women endure, endure, and then the explosion and the end of the relationship - it means that either the woman herself, or the man did not allow to express emotions. And as we already said, what women want in a relationship is to express their emotions so that people around them accept not only positive, but also negative emotions of a woman, they want others not to devalue their feelings and experiences.

It is very good when women understand that it is necessary not to put emotions in the farthest closet, but to learn how to correctly express their emotions. When there is a person next to whom they can speak out - great luck. Breakdowns, throwing tantrums, bursting into tears - these are all the outburst of emotions, the same "critical days" also contribute to the release of accumulated emotions outside, and this is correct, this is normal! There is a way out of something that women sometimes did not seem to worry about, it was just sitting somewhere in the back, and from the side of the listener, usually a friend or husband, the main thing is to recognize what to listen to and what is not at that moment. In this stream of words and emotions, some aspects are only a pretext for the release of emotions, so women can sometimes worry so zealously about a broken nail or peeling varnish, but there is something that needs to be listened to, what should be paid attention to, what needs to be changed in their behavior ...

In the end, I want to say only the following words: and accept the nature of a loved one, but just do not force the other person to accept your nature, especially when you do not accept his nature.