Family crises: how to establish relationships with relatives and loved ones. How to solve problems in the family? Tips of qualified psychologists

19.08.2019

As you know, a person can handle practically with any trouble at work while he has an understanding and confidence in the family. But what if the family ceases to be a "reliable rear"?

In this article you will find several tips that will help correctly respond to family problems, whatever they concern - relations with his spouse, with children or close relatives. Other materials of our portal will help you in the situation - for example, family diagnosis and family relationships.

1) Remember, you will not be able to change the behavior or image of the thoughts of another person, it is not in your power. But you can change your behavior so that and he, in turn, has changed. In everyday life, this is called "pick up a key to a person." And how to do this specifically in your case - will tell an experienced family psychologist.

2) Any Susor is easier to prevent than stopping. It is very useful to track what words and actions usually provoke a scandal - then you can stop in time and not speak too much.

A separate question is when any trifle causes deaf irritation and provokes a quarrel. What if you are annoyed by a husband (or wife), and tension is growing in the family? Permanent quarrels for the slightest occasion is a disturbing signal. It means that there is a certain hidden problem in a relationship that you do not realize that you nor your second half. Think that you are not satisfied with the big account? Maybe in something not justified by your expectations? Or are there any solar insults?

3) You should not declare a boycott with family quarrels and hope that your second half, a child or parents "will understand everything themselves." As practice shows, your stubborn silence can cause a rejected family member at all not repentance, but annoyance, discontent and desire, if you revenge.

This is especially true of "sexy boycottles", which sometimes declare the spouses. They are often the first push to treason. Drawing in sex, you think that the spouse will understand - he was wrong, and he was punished. The spouse at this time can think like this: "The wife does not want sex, it means that I will not stick to her anymore."

4) If the problem concerns the upbringing of children, it is very important that all family members have a joint action plan. The situation when dad allows the child what Mom did not allow (and on the contrary) - the first step towards the appearance of a difficult teenager. Do not forget about other family members with whom the child contacts is for example, about grandmothers. Children quickly learn to manipulate! Try to agree so that the whole family reacted the whole family equally.

Separately, it is worth saying about family crises - these are certain periods in the life of the family, when the probability of change, quarrel, misunderstanding is especially great. One of these crisis periods is the birth of a child. More about this - in our article crisis of family life. At such periods from all family members, a maximum of patience, understanding and readiness to fight difficulties together are required.

And in conclusion, it can be noted that far from every problem in the family can be solved exclusively by methods of psychology, sometimes the help of a qualified physician is required. This includes cases of alcohol or drug addiction, mental illness, severe depression, etc. How to determine if the doctor needs help and what to do if the "problem" family member refuses to be treated? These and other questions will be answered by psychologists of our portal.

Among our consultants there are specialists in the field of marital relations, in the sphere of relations between parents and children, as well as psychotherapists. Choose "your" psychologist who will help you in solving family problems, you can.

Free questions to the psychologists of visitors portal on the topic
"Frequent quarrels"

Dear users of the site "All Psychologists", today we are pleased to present to your attention with an interview with a consulting psychologist in matters of family and parental relationships, non-terminal problems, developer and leading author's trainings, NLP-practitioner Schanderova Elena Sergeyevna

- Hello, Elena. We are very nice that you have chosen time and agreed to answer our questions.

Hello, Said. I want to thank you, for the honor rendered and I will be glad to talk to you.

"Elena, I would like to talk about such an important topic - family problems. As practice shows, a very large number of appeals for helping to us on our website, it comes to the family relationship. Therefore, today my questions will concern the most common problems in married couples.

Well, I often have to work with married couple, and I think I have something to tell you.

- OK. Then the first question. What family problems do you most often appeal?

It is difficult to produce gradation and determine which appeals are greater, as the range of these problems is very diverse, but mostly these are the following family problems:

problems of relationships between each young spousesassociated with the formation of joint family values, with the need to adapt to new roles, to the partner itself, his views, interests, moral and moral values, life goals and installations, ways to respond to conflicts, behavior in everyday life and in stressful situations;
the problem of emotional cooling between spouses in birthday child - this is the crisis period when often cooling and the distance between spouses - a woman (mother, wife) is immersed in care of a child, and a man begins to feel abandonance, a feeling that is even more aggravated by a decrease in self-esteem as a father, his authority, due to The fact that the mother more at the instinctive level knows what the child needs, why he crys what he wants, and a man cannot figure it out and often care about a child to go to a woman who is also important to help, support a man during this period. Here, the spouses are important to realize and accept the new roles for them and adapt to them, to build relations between themselves not only in the relationship of the husband - a wife, but also a father - mother;
problems in relations between spouses more mature ageWhen passing one of the spouses of the middle-aged crisis period, often accompanied by treason and leaving the family (mainly men). There is a revaluation of all life achievements - a marriage partner, career; The awareness of the fact that most of the life has already lived that all the elections were made that the years pass, the fear of what is waiting ahead. Therefore, during this period, it is often precisely men with a relationship on the side, as if trying to re-try to live life, feel a full-fledged man who else can like women, but gradually this pellena illusions falls and comes awareness of the irreversibility of time, and men are often returned to the family , to his wife and children who, in turn, it is also very difficult to understand what Motalo his spouse and take it;
also arise problems associated with the cultivation of children, when grown children leave and live their lives (the crisis of the "empty nest"). However, in our country there are specifics associated with the fact that generations (fathers and children) often continue to live under one roof, there is an erase of the inner borders of the family, which negatively affects the life of a young family. In such a situation, both a young family and the parent, it is important to understand how to build new relationships to allow each family to live your life and respect their relatives;
the situation is also very common, where a woman is exposed to violence from his spouse and she has no strength to oppose this and break this vicious circle. The woman is looking for an excuse (thought that she is not worthy of; experiencing a feeling of guilt before children), tolerates humiliation and insult, beatings and threats. She needs help and support to see the situation on the part, possible consequences, to find resources to overcome the current situation;
problems between spouses arising on the soil of the presence of various kinds of dependencies (alcoholic, gaming, sexy, food, etc.). It is also mostly more disturbing women who seek to help their husbands, continuing to live only with the hope of changes, while they themselves get into consideration, not understanding and not realizing that the personality of her husband has already been changed, and that they continue to live no longer a man who knew, and already with his "illness";
often they are treated with problems related to the behavior of children, issues of upbringing, habits of children, their personal features and features;

All this, only a small list of problems that are found in the practice of the psychologist - there are other family problems that are also heavy for people - loss of partner or children, divorces and its consequences for former spouses and children, the experience of severe illness and many others.

- Do you have any specific schemes when working with married couples?

When working with married couples, effectiveness is important - I work with my family as a holistic system. First it is important to understand what can lie in the depths of the problem (since sometimes the couples come with completely household problems, followed by the deep feelings that they hide apart, and sometimes from themselves). Based on the intended essence of the problem, work is carried out with family members. The main reception is a circular interview that helps each family member to speak on the problem, voice what each of them thinks and feels. It helps to hear each other, and not to build assumptions for the partner, which contributes to the opening of the family symptom, helps to identify the intrameal resources necessary to overcome the problem. Each symptom detected must be positively reformulated so that all family members see what they received, what their needs were trying to satisfy. As part of an agreement concluded with family members, after completing each session, prescriptions are given (a kind of family homework, which varies from the problem), which they undertake to observe. There are also certain techniques for working with married couples that help work out all the internal family problems and establish communication connections.

This approach contributes to increasing responsibility and the speedy permission of problems. All this together helps most accurately discover the problem, to understand what role she played, to find ways to resolve it (constructive for family ways to meet the needs of each of them), which contributes to the construction of confidence relations between spouses, between parents and children, open expressions of feelings and emotions, proximity, restoration of harmonious and supporting relationships.

A joint visit to the training of family relations contributes to their further improvement.

When contacting you with a problem in intrameal relationships, is it possible to resolve it, working only with one family member?

Often, the couples are aware of the presence of problems, but they come together not all - because it means that the problem is real and they will face it face to face, and this is not easy. Therefore, one of the spouses comes more often (they also appeal, both wives and husbands), more often, of course women, as they are more emotional and feel the problem, and most importantly have the need for her solution (if a man is able to suppress these emotions within himself, then a woman Openly expresses them). If the stated problem is related to the relationship between spouses (style of relationships, quarrels, conflicts), then these problems can be resolved and working with one of the spouses, since changes occurring with one of them (as with an element of the system) will begin to change the entire system that will contribute to the transition of relations between spouses and a new higher level.

If the source of the problem is associated with primary personal claims (and family problems are as their consequence - secondary) one of the spouses (and it refuses the help of a psychologist), then work, however, is possible indirectly through the spouse present, although it complicates therapy and Deads the result in time.

- Is it possible to say that someone alone is to blame for a family problem?

You can never say that in the emergence of problems inside the family, only one of the spouses is to blame. In family problems, both spouses always make their contribution, and the rejection of their guilt and the accusation of the partner (believing that it was the spouse who should change and adapt to), he speaks about the desire to transfer responsibility, about immature, infantile, selfish, if you like, children's Position, which does not at all contribute to constructive solutions of emerging problems.

- What happens to the psyche of the child, during the conflict of parents?

Often, children are inclined to blame themselves in the disclaims between their parents, seeing how one of them suffers (again the mother more often), tolerates humiliation, insults, treason, etc. The mother hoses the child as a shield, accusing himself in what deprives the child's child. That is, there is a double charge. Thus, all responsibility with herself the mother shifts on the shoulders of this little man, which is simply unable to take this nosha, neither more to preserve the marriage of parents. This is not his functional tasks, the child grows with a sense of guilt that because of him, parents are unhappy that he is bad that he needs to be better to make parents happy. To justify myself the child is in the root of unacceptable! A child has a number of psychological complexes and problems that prevent him from building their lives.

- Is it possible to protect the child's psyche from the injury impact during family problems?

Quarrels are almost inevitable in family life, but parents are important to adhere to some rules: not to find out the relationship to the child; Do not blame and criticize another parent in front of the child, trying to find his ally in it; not to use blackmailing by relationship to the child (especially often it happens when parents are divorced - for example, "If you communicate with your father, you will not get a computer"). And in order to help the child to form an idea of \u200b\u200bthe family, it is necessary to try to be an example for a child - an example of a relationship between a woman and a man, between the father and mother, between the child and parents - to show respect and love to each other, then such a situation will be psychologically healthy for a child.

Is, in your opinion, virtual communication with the representatives of the opposite sex with the symptom of the presence of an intra-family problem?

Not always the presence of virtual communication testifies to the internal problems of the family. It depends on what exactly the partner receives from this connection why it needs it: whether he satisfies this need for the need that cannot satisfy the family with his spouse (attention, authority, proximity, warmth, care, etc.) ; either - the partner has its own intrapersonal Problems (complexes, fears, unsatisfied in the past feelings), and thus virtual communication helps him to satisfy. In all situations it is important to understand that this is not a solution to the problem, but only a certain illusive way out of its solution, creating an increasingly strong vicious circle around its problem, which only leads to a distance from the partner, coldness, closure. Therefore, it is important to learn how to understand your problems and try to solve them together together, because the help and support of a loved one will help you to cope and save the family.

- What is the role of parents of spouses in the emergence of family problems?

In cases where the parents of the spouse have a big impact on their already growing Chad and try in every way "Help" Its a right choice to make the right choice, find a suitable partner, show how and what you need to do correctly - conflicts and quarrels between generations often arise. Sometimes the parents of the spouse have a great influence and cannot emotionally release the child, which only deprives this person of independence, maturity, and his own life. Parents are trying to live life also for their adult child, and another spouse quite naturally perceives this style of behavior and communication, as an invasion of their lives, a violation of personal borders, in this case, threatened the joint life of the couple. Therefore, it is important to realize the parents that everyone himself is responsible for his fate and his life, has the right to choose the partner who just loves. Parents need to allow their already an adult child to make mistakes independently to gain their experience with them. This does not mean that it is necessary to break all the relationship with the child - no - it is important to give his life to him in hand, and just to be able to listen to him when it will be necessary.

Even in the absence of an explicit actual intervention of parents into the life of spouses, each of the latter invests in family relationships elements of that style, which was in the family of their parents. In many ways, the life of a young family is a reflection of the scenarios that had been in families of parents of both spouses.

How to help a young married couple build relationships with parents to avoid conflicts and misunderstanding?

There are several options for how family life has a young couple and for each of them you can give concrete recommendations:

If the couple lives together with the parents of one of the spouses - it is important to build harmonious relationships with parents, while maintaining the integrity of your small family. To begin with, it is better to agree on family responsibilities - on this basis it is most of all the quarrels - who and what will do (cook, clean, make purchases, pay bills ...) how the budget will be conducted, who and what will buy in the house and t .. - To reduce possible shortness of the minimum. If a husband lives, then it is important to build relationships with mother-in-law - and here it is important not to enter the war with her, but to look for an ally in it - ask and interested her life, son (which he loves, what his interests he can have what he is sick. ..) that she prepares and how, to turn simply for advice, wondering and her hobbies, which I like it, you can even do small gifts. All this speaks only that she will see and feel that it is interesting that her opinion is significant that her authority is not trying to break and lead and configure a son against her - this is the traditional one, the most common option. If you live at your wife, then it is already more difficult for the situation with a husband - since a man has the need to be the owner and respond to their family, wife, house. But on that territory he does not feel as such, since there is a father of his wife, who is the owner in the house. But even then it is important to give her husband the opportunity to confirm his male authority - to attract to matters around the house, to trust him, work in the country, landscaping the territory - in other words, everything that can afford to man feel strong.
If the couple lives separately - it is important to build and maintain relationships with both parents at a distance - to discuss who and when will come to visit, who and what will give, etc. In order to avoid the blurring of the family's borders and not to insert the parents of the parent supervision and attention. It is important to maintain relationships with parents anyway - after all, after all, time takes its own and parents are aging and they will also need help. A couple, in turn, may also need help (help with a child, talk, consult, support) - it is moral and talks about the person of man.

There are various variations on the topic where the couple lives with whom, and accordingly, different family problems arise. But always the most important thing for a couple is to preserve integrity, respecting and parents. Also should not be shy to seek help to a psychologist, unless it is difficult to figure out and understand how to behave and what to do!

- What do you think there are certain family scenarios and is it possible to overcome them?

Undoubtedly, the child grows in the family and the relationship that he sees between his parents, he takes as normal, it is a sample of relationships (between a man and a woman, husband and wife). Growing, he is trying to properly imagine fitting forms of behavior on his family. So if the boy grows without a father, then he has difficulties in building relationships with the opposite sex. Since he has not been formed the image of the Father, he did not see how a man behaves in a relationship, it is difficult for him to adapt in the world of floors and perceive himself a full-fledged man. It entails a lot of complexes. Also, if the boy grew up without mother, there is no image of a woman and a full-fledged relationship, hence there are problems in relations with women, as he does not know what to wait and what to do.

With the same difficulties in the relationship there is a woman, if she, being a girl, grew in a family where there is no father (a family story can be transmitted and from generation to generation: the grandmother raised her daughter alone, the mother also gave birth to her daughter and raises her without his father). Then the girl may experience difficulties in building a relationship, since she has no shaped image of a man, she does not know and have not seen how the relationship between a man and a woman can be built. She only saw how women live without men. In the future, it can also wait for the same to take into account.

Also, a burdened family scenario can pursue a child who was brought up in a family, where one of the parents had a mental illness (for example, schizophrenia), as this affects the style of upbringing. If it was a mother, then it is more imperative affects, as the task of the mother, give the child a sense of confidence, the security that she can not give for their illness. The child is very difficult to grow, experiencing the emotional coldness of the mother, what she pushes him. However, the most difficult for such a child is not to transfer the same style with respect to its children, do not afford to project their children's resentment and unrealized feelings, continuing to destroy the lives of their children.

But all this is fixable, if you turn to a psychologist and understand the sources of your problem, to construct the future for yourself, with which there will be a place for everything - and happiness, and love!

- How difficult is it to overcome the program of the established family scenario?

In fact, overcome the parent scenario (roles, style of relationships, invested principles, installation ...) is very difficult for a person, since the realization of what happened in the family is tragic. Therefore, in therapy with such a problem, it is necessary not only to realize the destructive impact of a family scenario on life, destroy it, but also fill the vacuum scenario on the ruins with new content. It is necessary to build new benchmarks (building and fixing a new style of interaction, both with a spouse and with children, with parents; work on convictions and values), which will lead a person on their way.

It is worth noting that this work will require a lot of time and courage, but in return will be able to give a person to solve family problems And build a new life.

- What would you advise our readers to avoid the most common family problems?

To begin, the young couple is seriously expelled in the decision on marriage itself - to understand what moves them (as the motivation is destructive and constructive), which influenced their decision on marriage. If this is an attempt to escape from some problems (financial, emotional), to prove your adulthood, guided by social labels (it's time for married), due to accidental pregnancy (as an attempt to keep a partner), regarding the marriage as an attempt to get away from loneliness - These motivations do not contribute to the construction of harmonious relations between spouses. Since they are based on the originally not on trust, respect and love, which means there will be no desire to work on relationships, appreciate them and partner!

marriage itself and the beginning of a joint life;
the birth of the first child, including the birth of subsequent children, is also considered separate crisis periods;
the introduction of a child in social institutions;
taking the fact of the entry of the child in the adolescence;
children grow up and build their family, and parents stay together;
the death of one of the spouses.

All these periods are accompanied by problems arising in the family (quarrels, misunderstanding, distance, emotional coldness, etc.). However, in addition to these crises, there are also abnormative crises (not all families that are faced with): treason, divorce, severe disease of one of the family members, the death of a family member. All these crises may be present in the family's life, so it is important to know the specifics of the development of the family to understand what is happening and how you can leave these complex situations.

Also, young spouses are important at the dawn of relations, harmoniously form communicative connections among themselves, to learn not to hide and do not suppress emerging emotions and feelings, but to constructively voice them, it is on the sensual level, and not with the help of criticism and accusations (this will only lead to distance and misunderstanding). Thus, the partner will be able to hear a partner, understand it. This will help pair together to cope with adversities and insults, and not to save them, only destroying confidence.

In general, it is just important to hear and listen to each other, appreciate and respect both a partner, and yourself, then in your family will reign love and trust. And if there are difficulties or problems in which it is difficult to understand independently, you can seek help from a specialist who can help figure out the problem and find a way out.

Elena, thank you for your answers. I think this information will be very useful to our readers and will help them in resolving family problems. I do not say goodbye to you and I think that in a short time we will meet again and discuss one more interesting topic. Good luck in your business.

Thank you Said. I was very pleased to answer your questions. I am pleased to meet with you again. Bye.

Probably there is no family in the world where there would be no problems. The family crisis sneaks into each pair completely unnoticed. 3 years, 7 years, 10 years together - these are the dates that are often considered the most dangerous in the life of the family - at this time people begin to scandal, and it comes to a divorce. And it happens that the crises of family life have more chronic character and lasts for months, years, decades.

How often do we observe such a picture. It would seem that a new couple was created quite recently: people fell in love with each other and created a family. Everything was so nice and cute: a white dress, a promise to keep loyal and love each other until the end of days, passionate kisses and hopes. But the time passes and the fairy tale ends. Permanent quarrels begin, misunderstandings, reproaches. The reasons for them have their own: in one family, the wife spends too much money, in another husband does not want a child. Also, the behavior of the spouses varies: someone suits stormy scandals with hysterias and fights, others try to "not bear sorrows from the hut" and are quietly puzzled on each other, without talking and offended.

What happens to a pair under the influence of time? And why after a few months / years, have beautiful people who once fell in love with each other, is so many psychological problems among themselves?

After a quarrel, it is very interesting to observe how each pair argues about his partner. No one considers himself guilty, and all the bumps get another. It is impossible to say that it is bad - just like the nature of man. We see people through ourselves and judge others. Even living with a person for several years, we can not see our partner not through ourselves.

The problem is that evaluating a person through oneself we all admit a global mistake - we do not see the real desires of a person, his preferences, hobbies. Gradually, over the years, such misunderstanding towards each other is brewing into a family crisis. The longer people live with each other, the more Spita finds on the stone - because the opposite people are usually converged in pairs.

The notorious crisis of family relationships is 7 years old is the average observation when it is the explosion of patience in a pair and people seriously think about how to end suffering in relationships. The first crisis occurs in 3 years, and then 7, 10, 15 years old - only here, who lives in the modern world to such a family experience? But the suffering is not really real - and far-fetched.

Many couples are looking for help in family relationships - turn to doctors, go to vigories, are looking for answers in literature. But wherever they do not appeal, each of the couple always blames the other, and attracts attention to himself as the affected side.

Such an approach will never lead to anything.

Of course, it is easy to blame someone who he once chose himself into the narrowed. But this is the way to nowhere. In fact, the pair is quite easy to switch to another level of relationships - not reproaches, but understanding the nature of your spouse, his desires. After all, each couple is created at the present deduction, and we come to life each other for no accident - therefore, there is a strong sense of love in the early stages of communication.

Just over time, we lose this feeling, but it does not change the essence. Unfortunately, a person cannot realize the desires of another person, even the most expensive and beloved - he just does not work. For too long, he saw the world through himself. The only science, which today, opens us the psychology of another person and allows you to see, feel the world as it feels, is the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. If you want to achieve with your loved one, not just life in the family, like everyone else, and the real deep love, the feeling of harmony and happiness, sign up for free trainings and listen to them first.

Hello, dear blog readers Website! If your family takes place that you do not like, for example, frequent quarrels should not be pretending that everything is fine. Because the problems that have already appeared, at some point they will come out and can cause you much harm to all.

It all needs to be pulled out and understand, and not to silence. Who do you cheat at the same time? Foreign people, pretending that you have everything in the family?

But this stranger is absolutely anyway, what happens in your personal life, they do not want to help you, but simply pursue for your back, let's glimpse and forget.

Everyone is busy exclusively, but every person thinks is in the center of the universe.

Therefore, overcome your difficulties until they acquired a chronic form, then it will get rid of them much more difficult. It is like a disease: you can engage in your health, but you can not pay attention to malaise until it is found that health is undermined and a long treatment is to have.

How to identify hidden problems? Pay attention to how you with your beloved person quarrel. All pairs are swearing if it comes from time to time, nothing terrible. Especially since such breeding helps brighter to show their feelings.

But when the spouses swear at any occasion, shout, do not know how to respect the conflict, this is a bad sign. If the kindness went out of your relationship, anger settled in the heart, but you stubbornly pretend that everything is fine, it is during a quarrel anger and splash out.

Or the wife wants to talk to her husband, and he leaves a serious topic, is sad, it is not going to listen to her claims, calls for (in a joke), closes the computer screen from it and pretends that the wives do not exist.

If you already realized that all this applies to your family, do not be discouraged. First, think that you can change, and then start working on relationships. So far, everyone prevents that everything is fine, often swearing or, on the contrary, playing silence, the relationship will become only worse.

The problem must be solved, and it will have to do it both, together, if you, of course, still love each other. Love can change a lot, so do not close your heart, do not silent and show kindness.

How do children react to quarrels of parents?

It is useless to interfere in other people's affairs, but women love to do it very much. If this happens to you, the mother-in-law constantly invites you and does not allow to live calmly, do not silent and do not tolerate. Talk first with my husband, explain to him what is happening.

A man is difficult to understand your hints, and in women's games, he does not understand at all. Therefore, I have to work a little with him and slowly explain what you do not like. Immediately pull out all the problems on the head of the husband is not worth it, because he will not understand anything, and it will still begin to complain to his wife's wife. And what will happen after that?!

All types of manipulations need to be excluded, otherwise the troubles are not able to avoid. It is useless to prevent the look that everything is fine between you, play the role of happy people, but at the same time suffer and suffer from an unfair relationship.

Many spouses prefer to pose, not to carry out sorrows from the hut, but at the same time do not decide anything. As a result, they are gradually moving away from each other and just live together as neighbors in the apartment. Without love and without happiness. But what is this life? You can hardly want it so much.

When problems that exist for many years are hidden, it brings an unpleasant result. Everyone in such a family will be bad, not comfortable, nervously and very tense. Each family member will carry problems in itself, relatives will not be able to talk to souls, simply because they do not know how to do it.

Therefore, it is not necessary to be silent, it is best to arrange the Family Council to solve the painful questions. Family is not just close people, it is love, trust, willingness to substitute shoulder at a difficult moment of life.

Never shift your adult problems on your shoulders. Give children love and care if you love them and want happiness. Do not let them witness your quarrels so as not to apply severe psychological trauma.

When the problems between husband and wife exist, but they are constantly ignored, there will be an explosion at some point. How will such a marriage end, it is not known.

But if the love was not from the very beginning, if the woman chose the wrong reasons why she got married, everything will end sadly. But everything can be turned back, for this you need to learn to talk, trust each other and determine the important goal that you need to achieve.

The goal can be completely different, it depends on the specific people, from their relationship to life, the desire to remain together, do not upset each other and share happiness.

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The problems in the family inevitably arise in life together. Even in the most strong alliance, based on mutual love and respect, quarrels and conflicts often happen. When a loving couple decides to create his own family, then people often do not imagine themselves, with what problems they will subsequently come up. They will have to master various social roles, take into account the interests of their second half. The problem is as such does not mean that people lost their binding thread. The problem always indicates the need to work on yourself and learn to understand a loved one. Social difficulties often force people to unite and attach significant efforts to solve complex tasks. It should always be remembered that the problem will not disappear by itself, it is necessary to decide.

Causes of family problems

The causes of the problems in the family are the most different. Most often, they relate to financial difficulties or have a pronounced social orientation. The fact is that entering into marriage, and men, and women learn to take a point of view of each other. Problems on this soil are due to the infringement of their own needs, the need to change, adapt to the needs of the partner.

Mutual insults

Any claims that arise between spouses by one or another are deprived of their moral forces, contribute to the formation of irritation. Mutual resentment is one of the most common causes of family problems.. These problems are usually caused by the difference in the characters of both spouses. The manifestation of individual traits of her husband is not always adequately perceived by his wife and vice versa. Over time, the claims accumulate, switch a certain face of patience. As a result, trust is lost, and problems are not solved.

Permanent difficulties

Modern family has to overcome significant problems associated with the distribution of the budget, the solution of the apartment issue. All these problems can be tolding internal forces, develop insecurity. Many couples note that hardly they manage to solve one problem, as the other appears immediately. Difficulties often lead to the social and individual unusualness of man. The problems in the family should be solved in a timely manner. Whatever the reasons for problems in the family, they should not undermine faith in a loved one, spoil relations.

Social problems of the family

Social family problems are difficulties associated with income, housing conditions, the lack of a suitable landscaped furnishings for work. Social problems are strongly connected with the situation in the country, the economic situation.

Budget

Many social problems in the family could be avoided if the spouses always remained confident in our tomorrow. Social payments are sometimes so small that they do not allow to correct the financial position. Most problems in the family are due to the need to constantly seek additional funds for the upbringing and training of children. The crisis, the bankrupt enterprises also do not add optimism. The problem of an insufficient budget provokes the formation of conflicts, misunderstandings, mutual reproaches. In such a situation, all family members want to feel some protected from any social problems.

Availability of housing

The apartment question is perhaps the most painful among other social problems. Not every couple has the opportunity to live separately from the parents, not everyone affect housing. If young people have an apartment in the property, they have to be quite tight. Some are forced for many years to fall into mortgage boys, others work without days off to pay at least a room in a hostel. Such social problems lead to open conflicts. At some point, patience disappears, and the claims are broken out.

Thus, the problems in the family have their causes and consequences. It is important to try to solve them in time not to exacerbate the situation.