I do not know how to take compliments. Are you trying to manipulate? Whether a compliment is sincere

05.04.2019

If you want people to show you sincere sympathy to you and have been arranged to communicate, learn the art to give them compliments and take them to your address.

The origin of this word is French. A compliment means a special shape of praise, admiration, recognition, approval. Pleasant words expressed by various reasons are able to raise self-esteem and mood, delight and skillfully emphasize the dignity.

When one person is another person speaks pleasant words, it raises the self-esteem speaking, as you need to have a certain share of confidence in order to notice the good qualities of other people and voice it out loud. The art of noticeing positive in others is developing the ability to notice good in itself.

It is important to learn to be able to say compliments, not falling into rude flattery. Allowed one small exaggeration, you can spoil everything and be a rejected interlocutor. This is distinguished by flattery from the sincere compliment from the heart.

Observe some important rules so that the praise expressed or admiration is relevant and pretty:

Each compliment has its own destination, whether it is a man or woman, an employee or client. Look at a person when telling him pleasant words.
If possible, be frank and honest. Without the manifestation of sincerity, your words any phrase will seem attracted by the ears of flattery.
These compliments are especially valuable, which reflect the features of the person who distinguish it from the crowd. For example, "You are so gracefully moving!" Or "you have an impeccable taste" and the like.
Let your gestures and facial expressive meet your words. Smile!
Compliments can not be done in passing.
Avoid community stamps - the Russian language is very rich interchangeable words.
The phrase of the type "You are superbly cope with mathematical tasks, enter the economic university" - this is no longer a compliment, and the teaching. Avoid it.

Compliments love everything. Women will appreciate the admiration for their appearance, taste, figure, boyfriend. Men are better to make compliments on their character, achievements, business qualities.

Do not refer to the distribution of compliments as a duty. After all, this is one of the win-win ways to please the interlocutor to whom you are sympathetic. Put the compliments to everyone who want: friends, close, familiar and unfamiliar people. Not for the sake of some benefit, but simply because you want it.

How to take compliments?

Despite? that even a cat is a nice word, compliments are not always perceived as something sincere and pleasant. Especially by us, Eastern Slavs, rare compliments are perceived enough adequately. Take a compliment to us often interfere with underestimated self-esteem. There is no worse situation when the young man bluses, sweats and with difficulty squeezes out of himself "you look amazingly", and the girl in response is mumble, which is not painted, did not sleep, and the dress is already a hundred years. Beautifully said compliment is half an end. It still needs to be worthy of answering.

The ideal answer is sincere joy, as if you were informing stunning news, smile and response words.

Compliments take:

Thank you and with dignity.
Do not limit the banal "thank you".
Do not think to diminish your advantages, do not mind.
Do not comment and do not ask questions, especially if the compliment is ambiguous or inappropriate (this can be done in thoughts).
The most correct reaction to the compliment - the replica "Thank you for the compliment" or "Thank you, it is so nice of you."
Take yourself as it is. Your nose, growth, freckles, the figure that you seem imperfect, do not seem at all in the eyes of others. Maybe it is for them that they love you.
Do not react to praise as a question that requires evidence. Do not tell a margin about the dress purchased on the sale, or as you prepared a new dish.
Never ask the question "Well, like me" about the new makeup, hairstyles, clothes. Do not try to draw too much attention to others - it is native! Especially if you have been clearly overwhelmed with the new manner, and your loved ones were delicately decided to silent.

Do not be discouraged if your compliment seems to be contrived to you. It is much easier to criticize than to praise. Look for your compliments and be sure to use them in your life. You will make sure that it works, and the surrounding feel at the same time very wonderful. After all, we all love very much when we treat us well.

Incredible facts

Who among us does not like compliments? This one of those few things, thanks to which our self-esteem can instantly climb to heaven.

But you know what could be better than getting a compliment? It is to do it. And not a simple banal, we are talking about a murderous compliment.

Such a compliment will make a man's day brighter. Such a compliment must be deposited in memory, it will remember for many years. From such a compliment, a person will draw power during periods of spiritual experiences.

Learn to make such compliments - this is one of the best things that should be yours social weapons. Such a compliment creates miracles with any relationship. He brings them to a new level and opens such doors that you did not dream about.

How to learn him?

Below are 10 steps that you need to go through to learn how to make the battlefielded compliments.

How to make a compliment

1. You must sincerely want to make a killing compliment

Do not praise someone for praise. Do not think about compliment as something ordinary or as needed. In fact, want to do it. You inside should be lighting a wish to make a person a pleasant.

If you really want to do this, then a person really deserves him. If you have no sincere desire to make a compliment, then you should not even try. You will simply appear in the unprofitable light, you will find it insincere.

2. Prepare a compliment

All that qualitatively and has real value requires time to prepare. Do not use standard compliments. Get deeply deeper and think about a person. You must internally be configured that the killing compliment is the most important thing you need to do.

You can make it ...

What to make a compliment

3. Watching and noting something special

Nothing says any insincerity is stronger than uncertainty and cliché.

Mark something unique and peculiar to this person. Mark any of its quality, Maneru Communication, habit. It should be something that allocates it against the rest of the rest.

Make a list of positive qualities that you like in it / in it.

What is in this person such that admires you most?

What highlights it from the crowd?

What is his uniqueness that makes it as it is?

Would you like to tell this person if he left somewhere far away for 10 years?

Try to remember something very insignificant, no one spoke about you.

Appreciate those little things that a person does.

When you find these little things, describe them. Be specific. At the same time, you must be able to ...

4. Justify why you believe it's great

So, you have a murderer compliment. When you say it, a person will either redden from embarrassment, or smile from the ear to ear. Do not stop there. Explain why you find it special.

For example, if your killing compliment sounds like this: "I noticed that you never speak bad about people behind their back." An explanation may be as follows: "This is extremely rare quality in our time, and I think it says a lot about you, as a person."

Thus, if you can highlight something special in a person, you can easily and explain why you think so. Do not leave a compliment "alone." Justify it.

How to make a beautiful compliment

5. Give real examples to confirm the above.

Remember a case when a person has shown the quality you marked. Return it at that moment and lighten the sieve from its position.

In accordance with the above example, it may sound like this: "I remember how one day, the whole team watered Jim's mud. You didn't do this. Instead, you interpreted for him and supported him, although it was not there. I think that I think that At that moment, you were very raised in the eyes of others, having received a new portion of respect. "

Hearing the resulting example from the past, and in detail, a person will not doubt that your compliment is sincere. But you must remember that ...

6. The compliment must be done in suitable time for this.

Make it only when you are alone with this person. Do not do this while in the group. People remember such things brighter when they hear them, being alone with the "donor", because there is no one around, who would compete for attention.

Also, you should not make your killing compliment immediately after greeting. Say hello to the current affairs, let me come up with a conversation. If there is a mutual understanding between you and you both are comfortable in each other's society, you will feel the moment when the compliment will be as impossible by the way.

But never make it in the raw form.

How can I make a compliment

7. Pre-compliment with the relevant issue

"Do you know what I noticed in you?", "Do you know that I like you?", "Do you know that I feel most of all in you?", "You know that, in my opinion, allocates you ? "

Of course, this is a small trick, because every person, first of all, is interested in himself.

16 17 705 0

It all depends on what purpose they make a compliment. Someone does to like the other, someone just successfully states the facts, someone likes to manipulate someone, someone speaks from sincere motives and in order to enjoy their interlocutor.

A compliment is an art that requires certain skills from a person. If you use it as it fell, you can turn into a resentment and flattery. There are several secrets that will help to understand how to speak and beautifully speak.

With whatever purpose you did not do, try to do it sincerely. Founding is always noticeable, and instead of positive emotions it will be possible to cause dislike.

Remember that the compliment is aimed at carrying joy to people, with its help, the good should be more.
But the flattery is already performing completely different functions: for obtaining the desired, lucaviness, condescension and other not so altruistic motivations.

The blurred praise is already not a praise. To say to a person: "You are a big good man and clever" I don't care what to compare it with the majority, do not focus on its uniqueness, uniqueness and features. Common brought phrases and compliments cause a feeling of narrowness and debris from their recipient. In this case, you will be one of those many who have already spoken. Make accurate compliment and argue it. Explain to your interlocutor why you exactly this is his quality wanted to note.

Praise dignity

Starting communication with a little familiar person, mark his positive parties that are immediately visible. It can be a good face, figure, beautifully set literary speech, interesting style and more.

Do not try to make deep psychological conclusions, because the first impression is deceptive and you can go out for the Lsiets.

Every person wants to praise him. Not everyone has obvious qualities that you can boast. To arrange a person to yourself, find something not outstanding in it and give it great value. For example, if at a party aside is a sweet, but very shy girl, tell her about how you like modest and shy girls and explain why.

Look for hidden advantages in people, even if they look like flaws.

Less than high-pass phrases

Literary high-speed comparisons are certainly very cute and romantic, but in reality they look contrast and implausible. Do not fall asleep the girl phrases like "Your eyes, like two oceans, and in the forehead the star is burning." In this case, it will look at you with a slight surprise and, most likely, will go away.

Be easier and will reach out to you.

Also compliments, if possible, must be brief, otherwise you risk drowning the true value of your word in the stream of other, less significant, phrases.

This moment is very important and very thin. Especially it must be adhered to when you make a compliment to girls, because they will find a catch even where it is not.

A double bottom compliment can cause your interlocutor at all not desired feelings, for example, insult, irritation.

Such dubious are phrases like "You look good today, just never", that is, before the person looked badly, and today something descended on him. Or "This color blouse keeps you", here are getting ready for a strong and long offense from a woman, because you said that it was before she looked old.

Make a habit

All tips are good, but there is one thing - how not to forget to make compliments? In order for your brain to give the desired words at the right moment, program it.

Learn to say goodies every day to employees, relatives, passers-by and just like people.

First, it will be difficult to do it, it will not be enough fantasy, but over time you get used to people nice. You will feel that you yourself have changed, and your environment has changed. Do not look for the occasion for the compliment, tell people about their advantages simply and at ease.

The phrase must match the moment

If you still decided to make a standard compliment, then for a start, look at a person whether it would be appropriate to do it at that moment and in this place. If you tell the employee "You look good today", but at the same time he has a circles under the eyes, a displeased face and a stained shirt.

Remember that the compliment should stand on a solid truthful basis, then he will enjoy you and who you will present it.

Also, pay attention to the fact that your praise was understood by the interlocutor, and then all your efforts will be in vain.

We must be in place of another person and understand that he would like to hear from you. Do not forget to take into account the floor, age, hobbies and value orientations. While putting a pleasant man, it is necessary to focus on his mental abilities, a woman - on appearance; The child will be pleased to hear the praise of his toys, a teenager - about his uniqueness, an old man, about his good things made for life.

A compliment is a simple means of establishing good relations with people, art praise, respect, admiration, approval, pleasant words. When you make a compliment, be honest. Words containing frank uncomplicated flattery cause distrust. Not all people know how to make compliments, and even more people do not know how to take them and react to them correctly.

Errors allowed by people who get compliments

Excessive inspiration. Do not react too rapidly on the compliment. Just remember that a person wants to make you a pleasant, without requiring nothing in return.

Ignoring the compliment is another extreme. If a person does not respond to good words, then this indifference may be unpleasant and even hurts the one who makes a compliment. You can ignore compliments only if you are unpleasant to communicate with this person, and even more so listen to its compliments.

The objection puts in an awkward position of a person who has a desire to make you a compliment. In addition, such answers, like: "There is nothing special about this" or "it somehow happened by itself," indicate a low self-esteem of a person who praised.

Neglecting may be offended by a person who seeks to make you a pleasant, praise you, and in response sees either a smirk on the face, or a complete indifference. Just smile in response to a compliment, even if you do not want to answer.

Justification. Often, people in response to a compliment begin to talk about completely extraneous or unnecessary things. It can make a negative impression on a person who made a compliment. Moreover, he will disappear even ever to tell you something pleasant.

Properly take compliments to learn, avoiding listed errors. Very often, people do not know how to react to praise and pleasant words, the compliment causes embarrassment instead of joy. Remember: if you do a compliment, then you see in a person his positive qualities, thus, the opinion about it becomes higher. You raise not only his self-esteem, but also yours. The ability to see in another person good helps to find the same positive features and at home.

Look in the eyes of a person who made a compliment. By this, you will show that a person is not sensible to you, heard him and ready to communicate with him. If you lose your eyes, it will indicate insincerity or indifference to what has been said.

Take a compliment with the corresponding advantage, emphasize that you are nice. But try not to get involved, do not look at a person down, because you can reproach in an excessive pride.

Smile when you are told a compliment. It brings closer. You can also thank and answer reciprocity. You should not use exactly the same compliment, it is better to show your originality. To do this, you can come up with your phrases and use them at the right moment.

Sincerely rejoice in compliments. Most likely, the person who praised you, noted your advantages, is desire to raise you the mood and show your good attitude. No need to look for trick in everything. Rejoice every pleasant word.

Do not respond to the compliment to aggressive behavior. Not only is it impolite, but also unreasonable. Perhaps a person wants to establish a good relationship with you, and you repulse it with your negative.

Natural behavior will not provoke excessive flatkened. Do not coexist and do not suggest compliments. Remember that insincere compliments do not correspond to reality, look like a frank lie and do not deliver true pleasure.

Compliment Perceive in the literal sense, do not invent anything. If you feel that it contains an uncomplicated flattery and do not want to listen further, just translate the conversation to another topic and perceive the above it is ironic, with humor.

Do not silent in response to a compliment. Thank or answer at least a smile. If you start notify that you do not react to compliments, learn how to switch attention.

In the event that you do not like to take compliments, do not know how to behave and how to respond in this case, internally strain and want to leave the room, then the problem consists in low self-esteem. Increase her, love yourself and enjoy taking praise and compliments.