What if the child is nervous and naughty? "Execution cannot be pardoned", or what to do if the child is nervous and disobedient
The concept of "nervous child" is very capacious and, depending on specific situations, can cover a different set of behavioral characteristics. What unites different unbalanced children is only our negative attitude to the reactions that arise in the baby in response to his interaction with the world around him in general, and with us, his family and friends, in particular.
A nervous child can be whiny and fearful, aggressive, overly irritable, excitable, or hysterical. Whichever of the reactions predominated in your baby, the root of evil, as a rule, is always the same - mistakes in upbringing. Accordingly, the "cure" of nervousness should be corrected for such errors.
Physiological causes of childhood imbalance
To begin with, let's try to do with "little blood" in correcting the nervous character. Physiological factors also influence the behavior of children, especially young children.
The conditions that first of all need to be created for your child for the full development and formation of him as a person:
- the prevailing regime of the day;
- getting enough sleep;
- proper nutrition;
- proportionate physical activity;
- observance of personal hygiene.
If all physiological conditions have been created, but the baby is still nervous, then you need to correct your relationship with him.
If the baby is nervous, it means that it is beneficial for him.
Children are very practical people. If they, consciously or unconsciously, make their choice in favor of nervousness, and not calmness and balance, it means that it is beneficial for them, and it means that you, in due time, showed them how to use nervousness in their own interests.
Situation: Mom is busy, and my daughter needs something from her. The baby asks calmly - the mother replies “Yes, now, wait” and continues to go about her business, then the daughter asks more persistently, and only when she breaks down to cry, the mother notices her and gives her what she needs. Gradually, the baby develops an understanding that it is easier to immediately present their demands in the form of hysteria - then it will be completed faster.
Mom in this situation should have done the following: if she can fulfill the demand of her son or daughter and there is no reason for refusal, then this must be done immediately, without waiting for hysteria. If the requirement is not feasible, then you need to explain why it cannot be fulfilled, and not indulge a whim, even when your offspring is crying and hysterical. The baby should not form a model of interaction with others "I cry - I get what I want", our goal is "I ask normally - I am rewarded." In other words, children need to create conditions in which it is beneficial for them to be calm and healthy, and not aggressive and moody.
Parental composure and consistency
If the moment has long been missed, then your task now is to be cold-blooded and make the mechanism work in the opposite direction, to reward the child when he is calm and constructive, to praise that he was able to calm down quickly and in every possible way to encourage him for his poise, even if it looks artificial.
The next aspect that contributes to the formation of a child's nervous behavior is the inconsistency of parents in the system of rewards, prohibitions and punishments.
This means when the same act of a child in one situation is interpreted as negative and punished for it, but in some other context it is not noticed. This also includes the model of behavior of parents when they put forward a requirement to the child, but nine times out of ten do not make sure that this requirement is fulfilled, and on the tenth they go straight to punishment, and for the first nine, too.
For example: the son watches TV, and mom, every time passing by, calmly says: "Turn off the TV." Children interpret such a request as optional.
It would be correct to say:“You watch for another 2 minutes and turn it off,” and after 2 minutes, report that the time has expired, come and turn it off. The child can put forward counter demands, ask for another 5 minutes, and if this is not important, then the mother can allow, and after 5 minutes turn off the TV. The child, most likely, will object, but less, because his request has been fulfilled, he is reckoned with.
The power of the parent word
If parents want to see their child balanced and obedient, then they must do everything so that their word does not lose its meaning in the eyes of children.
You make a demand - be ready to go to the end and make sure that it is fulfilled, otherwise do not put forward.
The same is with threats - if you say, “If you do this again, I will punish you,” then you must punish. Not sure if you can fulfill a promise or a threat - don't promise or threaten.
Expediency of prohibitions
For children of the very young age, instructions "Do not touch!", "Sit still!" are also interpreted as requirements, not mandatory for execution, because reproducing these phrases, the parents themselves are well aware that the child will continue to touch, run, jump. Phrases like "You can't shout on the bus!" or "You can't eat with your hands!" are also very dubious, because how is it impossible, when the kid is doing just that successfully, while thinking “I scream and eat with my hands, so it’s possible”, in the end - our “no” is absolutely nothing, we have a nervous child, what to do and how it happened, we do not understand.
Prohibitions take place in education only when it is really necessary.
If in an outside environment or in a different mood you would not restrict the child, then it is better to immediately explain to him how this situation differs from similar ones. For example, “We are visiting and there is an elderly grandmother in the house who has a headache right now, so we will not sing karaoke. Come home - then you can. "
Adequate emotional and mental stress
The harmonious state of the child is balance and a tendency to compromise, if you stopped observing this in your child, it means that a failure has appeared in the processes of excitation and inhibition. Either one of them began to prevail, or they replace each other too quickly or irregularly.
The most common cause of children's nervousness is an overload of the excitation process.
This is not necessarily a systematic state of the child - nervousness can manifest itself situationally. For a kid, this is an excess of information, a too rapid change of events, a large number of impressions that he cannot digest. For a school-age child, this may be too much academic and optional load. Dose emotions and stress.
Modeling the semantic load of events
Nervousness develops very easily with unpleasant or terrible impressions, both constant and isolated. Moreover, the situation does not have to be objectively catastrophic - it is more important what meaning the child himself gives to it. Here, the child's reaction is a complete reflection of the reactions of his parents and those close to him.
Even the classic cause of childhood neurosis, parental divorce, can be more easily tolerated by a child if relatives do not dramatize the situation and escalate the situation.
Artificial lowering of the importance and tragedy of any unpleasant event on the part of the parents neutralizes the negative impact of this situation on the child and, accordingly, reduces the risk of nervousness.
If a child grows up in an atmosphere of nervousness, where the parents do not talk, but constantly shout at the child and at each other, where the child observes the most extreme manifestations of emotions by people close to him, it is not surprising that he absorbs everything that happens and reproduces you what observes around you. Your task is to learn to carry a positive charge on your own, and then, do not notice how your mood will be transmitted to those around you and, first of all, to your once unbalanced child. Be attentive to your children because their nervousness can be a manifestation. It will take all your efforts and love to correct the situation when it could have been avoided. Love and hug your children more often, this is conducive to calmness.
Psychologist, psychotherapist, personal well-being specialist
Svetlana Buk
The psychologist tells how a child's neurosis is associated with problems in the family:
Each child is an individuality that does not depend on external factors. Of course, upbringing plays an important role in the formation of the child's personality, but the character that was laid down at birth is much more important. Often, two different children grow up in the same family - calm, balanced and nervous, disobedient. How can this be, because the upbringing and attitude of the parents are identical? What to do in this case - to break the core of the crumbs or wave your hand at him and not pay attention to his antics? Today we will talk about the bad behavior of the child - why children become nervous and naughty, how to establish contact with the child and correct the situation in time.
Why does a child become naughty
With the birth of a child, many mothers and fathers decide to raise a baby in an atmosphere of love and trust, especially if they themselves grew up in severity in childhood. But often, excessive thrill, love and indulgence in whims do not bring anything good. The child ceases to feel the limits of what is permissible, he often tests the limit of parental patience. Why is the child behaving badly, disobeying, nervous? Here are some common reasons.
There are many more different reasons for disobedience, which are somehow related to the above factors. But what if the reason for disobedience is hyperactivity?
Hyperactive children
Often, disobedience and nervousness does not indicate gaps in upbringing, but attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. This is not just a characteristic, it is a neurological diagnosis that only a doctor can make. But remember, you cannot attribute a diagnosis to every bully, you need to clearly distinguish between problems with upbringing and disorders in terms of neurology. Hyperactivity, as a rule, occurs even in the prenatal period, if the mother was deprived of certain vitamins or trace elements, with fetal hypoxia, if the woman was nervous or took potent medications during pregnancy.Hyperactive children are not restless, they quickly change their occupation, grab onto one thing or the other. It is hard for such children at school, they cannot sit quietly even for a few minutes. Manifestations of ADHD are noticeable already from infancy - such children sleep poorly and little, constantly tossing and turning. Hyperactive children cannot stand still, they are constantly running, jumping, circling or jumping. Impatience is their main companion. Such children cannot wait for something or someone, they are very talkative, often interrupt and shout. Children diagnosed with ADHD react very sharply to criticism, get nervous, do not listen to adults. If you find similar symptoms in your child, you should definitely consult with a neurologist. Understand that it is not your baby's fault that his neural connections work this way, and nothing else. But in order for the child to learn to perceive information and to study well at school, the diagnosis needs to be treated. To do this, the doctor may prescribe medicated sedatives that need to be drunk in courses. This will help not only you, but your child as well. But the most important thing is to work with a psychologist and build an adequate educational process.
If the baby has no problems with neurological health, then his behavior is the result of your upbringing or lack of it. Here are some practical tips to help you fix the situation.
- Calm, only calm! Tantrums and various manifestations of disobedience are calculated on your reaction. Try to always and in everything to remain calm and adequate parents. The kid lay on the floor and threw a tantrum - do not react, because the child is just waiting for this. Continue to calmly go about your business until he calms down. Of course, this can be quite difficult to do on the street, but you can only root out such habits by completely ignoring.
- Have a heart-to-heart conversation. Make time for your child every day. Listen to his worries and experiences, build a confidential conversation and do not scold him for the truth. If you scold a kid today for confessing about a broken vase, tomorrow he simply won't tell you about it. And in adolescence, and completely lose a thin thread of trust. For a child to listen to you at the age of 15-20, you need to listen to him in early childhood and not neglect his problems. After all, a lost toy is as important to him as a report that has not been submitted is to you. Listen to the child, give him advice, experience troubles and joys together. And then the baby will not have unspoken claims and hidden grievances.
- Do not Cry! The child screams because he wants you to hear him, often he cannot express his emotions in another way. Do not be like a child, explain everything calmly. If the baby is nervous, tell him that you love him in any way, even when he is angry.
- Stick to the established rules. The child should know that there are few prohibitions, but they are unshakable. You cannot play with an outlet, on any day of the week, at any time of the day, neither a child nor an adult. Be consistent in your decisions. Threatened to give toys to a neighbor if the child does not take them away? Keep your promise. And then the next time the kid will think a hundred times whether to ignore your request for cleaning. Parents should be soft and firm at the same time.
- Don't push, look for compromises. You are an adult who does not have to be principled. The child does not want to eat soup - leave him alone, eat a little later. The daughter refuses to wear a beautiful dress for a visit - let her wear what she likes, not you. Give in to the child too. Does the kid not want to collect toys? Offer to do this together, or say that you will drink cocoa together after cleaning. The easiest way is to scream and force. But that's not your goal. A child should not be afraid of his parents, he should respect them.
- Lead by example. How should a child follow certain rules if you yourself do not adhere to them? The child should look at you and understand that you need to be respectful to people, brush your teeth twice a day, and wash your hands after a walk. How can you require your child to play sports if you yourself are constantly lying on the couch in front of the TV? If a child sees how mom and dad respect each other, he is unlikely to allow himself to humiliate someone.
- Don't overwhelm the child. Very often, aggression is born at the moment when my mother says - it is impossible, because I said so. That is, the ban is put only on the basis of your authority. Doing so is not worth it in any case. It is necessary to explain to the child why this cannot be done. When talking with a child, be sure to sit at his level - sit down or take the baby on your knees. Only in the "eye to eye" position can you achieve a confidential conversation.
- Take your child. Often, disobedience arises against the background of boredom or idleness, when the baby simply does not know how else to entertain himself. Invite your child to play something. Drawing, drawing up applications, modeling have an excellent soothing effect. Plus, working together can help you connect.
Do not splash negativity on a naughty child, even if it is very difficult to do it. Gather your will into a fist and educate, talk, disassemble, make friends. The formation and upbringing of a child is a daily work, but it depends only on you what the baby will be like tomorrow, and how he will relate to different people and situations. Support, patience and parental love can melt even the most callous child's heart. Treat your child with understanding, and he will certainly answer you in kind!
Video: how to deal with unruly children
Each child is an individuality that does not depend on external factors. Of course, upbringing plays an important role in the formation of the child's personality, but the character that was laid down at birth is much more important. Often, two different children grow up in the same family - calm, balanced and nervous, disobedient. How can this be, because the upbringing and attitude of the parents are identical? What to do in this case - to break the core of the crumbs or wave your hand at him and not pay attention to his antics? Today we will talk about the bad behavior of the child - why children become nervous and naughty, how to establish contact with the child and correct the situation in time.
Why does a child become naughty
With the birth of a child, many mothers and fathers decide to raise a baby in an atmosphere of love and trust, especially if they themselves grew up in severity in childhood. But often, excessive thrill, love and indulgence in whims do not bring anything good. The child ceases to feel the limits of what is permissible, he often tests the limit of parental patience. Why is the child behaving badly, disobeying, nervous? Here are some common reasons.
There are many more different reasons for disobedience, which are somehow related to the above factors. But what if the reason for disobedience is hyperactivity?
what to do if a child steals money from parents
Hyperactive children
Often, disobedience and nervousness does not indicate gaps in upbringing, but attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. This is not just a characteristic, it is a neurological diagnosis that only a doctor can make. But remember, you cannot attribute a diagnosis to every bully, you need to clearly distinguish between problems with upbringing and disorders in terms of neurology. Hyperactivity, as a rule, occurs even in the prenatal period, if the mother was deprived of certain vitamins or trace elements, with fetal hypoxia, if the woman was nervous or took potent medications during pregnancy.
Hyperactive children are not restless, they quickly change their occupation, grab onto one thing or the other. It is hard for such children at school, they cannot sit quietly even for a few minutes. Manifestations of ADHD are noticeable already from infancy - such children sleep poorly and little, constantly tossing and turning. Hyperactive children cannot stand still, they are constantly running, jumping, circling or jumping. Impatience is their main companion. Such children cannot wait for something or someone, they are very talkative, often interrupt and shout. Children diagnosed with ADHD react very sharply to criticism, get nervous, do not listen to adults. If you find similar symptoms in your child, you should definitely consult with a neurologist. Understand that it is not your baby's fault that his neural connections work this way, and nothing else. But in order for the child to learn to perceive information and to study well at school, the diagnosis needs to be treated. To do this, the doctor may prescribe medicated sedatives that need to be drunk in courses. This will help not only you, but your child as well. But the most important thing is to work with a psychologist and build an adequate educational process.
how to calm a hyperactive child
How to raise a nervous and naughty child
If the baby has no problems with neurological health, then his behavior is the result of your upbringing or lack of it. Here are some practical tips to help you fix the situation.
- Calm, only calm! Tantrums and various manifestations of disobedience are calculated on your reaction. Try to always and in everything to remain calm and adequate parents. The kid lay on the floor and threw a tantrum - do not react, because the child is just waiting for this. Continue to calmly go about your business until he calms down. Of course, this can be quite difficult to do on the street, but you can only root out such habits by completely ignoring.
- Have a heart-to-heart conversation. Make time for your child every day. Listen to his worries and experiences, build a confidential conversation and do not scold him for the truth. If you scold a kid today for confessing about a broken vase, tomorrow he simply won't tell you about it. And in adolescence, and completely lose a thin thread of trust. For a child to listen to you at the age of 15-20, you need to listen to him in early childhood and not neglect his problems. After all, a lost toy is as important to him as a report that has not been submitted is to you. Listen to the child, give him advice, experience troubles and joys together. And then the baby will not have unspoken claims and hidden grievances.
- Do not Cry! The child screams because he wants you to hear him, often he cannot express his emotions in another way. Do not be like a child, explain everything calmly. If the baby is nervous, tell him that you love him in any way, even when he is angry.
- Stick to the established rules. The child should know that there are few prohibitions, but they are unshakable. You cannot play with an outlet, on any day of the week, at any time of the day, neither a child nor an adult. Be consistent in your decisions. Threatened to give toys to a neighbor if the child does not take them away? Keep your promise. And then the next time the kid will think a hundred times whether to ignore your request for cleaning. Parents should be soft and firm at the same time.
- Don't push, look for compromises. You are an adult who does not have to be principled. The child does not want to eat soup - leave him alone, eat a little later. The daughter refuses to wear a beautiful dress for a visit - let her wear what she likes, not you. Give in to the child too. Does the kid not want to collect toys? Offer to do this together, or say that you will drink cocoa together after cleaning. The easiest way is to scream and force. But that's not your goal. A child should not be afraid of his parents, he should respect them.
- Lead by example. How should a child follow certain rules if you yourself do not adhere to them? The child should look at you and understand that you need to be respectful to people, brush your teeth twice a day, and wash your hands after a walk. How can you require your child to play sports if you yourself are constantly lying on the couch in front of the TV? If a child sees how mom and dad respect each other, he is unlikely to allow himself to humiliate someone.
- Don't overwhelm the child. Very often, aggression is born at the moment when my mother says - it is impossible, because I said so. That is, the ban is put only on the basis of your authority. Doing so is not worth it in any case. It is necessary to explain to the child why this cannot be done. When talking with a child, be sure to sit at his level - sit down or take the baby on your knees. Only in the "eye to eye" position can you achieve a confidential conversation.
- Take your child. Often, disobedience arises against the background of boredom or idleness, when the baby simply does not know how else to entertain himself. Invite your child to play something. Drawing, drawing up applications, modeling have an excellent soothing effect. Plus, working together can help you connect.
The main thing in educational work is patience. Try not to be angry with your child, put yourself in his place. Do not scold the baby for a wet puddle on the floor - she just tried to correct her mistake and wipe up the spilled yogurt. Raising a child is a whole philosophy. And if you put understanding, patience, care and love into the baby, the child will respond in kind to you. And he will become a person who can love, sympathize and understand his neighbor.
Do not splash negativity on a naughty child, even if it is very difficult to do it. Gather your will into a fist and educate, talk, disassemble, make friends. The formation and upbringing of a child is a daily work, but it depends only on you what the baby will be like tomorrow, and how he will relate to different people and situations. Support, patience and parental love can melt even the most callous child's heart. Treat your child with understanding, and he will certainly answer you in kind!
how to wean a child from swearing
Video: how to deal with unruly children
Parenting is an art that young parents take a long time to master. Errors in this process, at first glance insignificant, sometimes lead to serious negative changes in the character of the child, which are very difficult to correct afterwards. It is especially important to immediately figure out what to do if the child is nervous, disobedient and aggressive. If you use the wrong decision, the situation can worsen significantly.
Reasons for child disobedience
The above negative nuances of behavior do not always go hand in hand, therefore professionals recommend considering the prerequisites for them and methods for solving the problem separately, point by point. In particular, a child's disobedience may be completely unrelated to his nervousness: it is also characteristic of quiet, withdrawn individuals. At the same time, it is the baby's unwillingness to listen to what he is told, to fulfill parental requests, to follow the established rules and norms that is one of the most frequent problems that visit young parents.
- According to psychologists, the periods of the most pronounced disobedience in children fall on the "youngest" age, preschool, and adolescence, when the psyche is being formed.
There are a lot of reasons for this behavior, but the following are most pronounced:
- The child knows he can get away with it. This is often noticed for children, who from the first day were surrounded not only with care and love, but shown that they are the center of the family, that absolutely everything will be done for them. At the same time, some of the kids will use the position carefully, while others will show a selfish capricious nature, putting “I don’t want” and “I will not” to the fore and demanding to reckon with it. Often, whims are shown not only at home, but also in a public place.
- The child is not afraid of punishment. The reason is not even the possible leniency of the punitive measures, but the fact that the situation was the opposite of the previous one. If a child does not receive the proper degree of attention from childhood, standing out negatively (by disobedience, acting contrary, etc.) is the surest and most obvious way, even if it is followed by a quarrel with the parents.
What if the child does not obey at the age of 5? Psychologist's advice for young parents for this period mainly consists in the need to pay attention to the baby. However, the key problems are solved in different ways: it is a little easier to make up for the lack of warmth and affection than to deal with "permissiveness". The latter demands to show the child that his privileged position in the family is not equal to universal worship. Know how to refuse him, but so that the reason for your "no" is understood.
Why is the child showing aggression?
The issue of a negative attitude towards others in this block is considered not through the prism of whims and bad behavior, but as the impossibility of gently contacting people. It can be scandals with parents, quarrels and even fights with peers and older children, constant confrontation with brothers / sisters. Those. mostly inability to competently build communication, lack of proper communication skills. At the same time, the prerequisites for aggression in children of preschool and junior school age differ depending on who it is directed at.
- Rudeness towards parents (grandparents are also included in this category) mainly comes from the fact that the child does not see authority in them. Again, the reason for this is the wrong upbringing, "permissiveness". In doing so, keep in mind that authority is not a dictator, not a despot: this role is earned by respect, not worship.
- Quarrels with siblings can also be caused by the privileged position of the toddler, who becomes jealous of the parents for other children. In large families, with a different attitude of parents to each of the children, this happens no less often than the strengthening of the selfish beginning in a lonely child.
- Quarrels with peers, right up to fights, can be either a common finding out of the leading link and a simple manifestation of personal qualities, or a consequence of the inability to contact other children.
- Aggression towards others in a public place stems from improper upbringing, during which the child was not explained that he is not alone in the Universe and must comply with the established norms.
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We should also mention the emergence of aggression in response to punishment. Often it occurs when the child does not understand the reason for such an act on the part of the parents, especially if it is assault. Psychologists advise to induce repentance in children not by a rough measure, but by provoking his independent condemnation of his own behavior. It is more difficult than hitting with a belt, but much more effective.
Psychologists say that "nervous" and "difficult" - definitions of character are by no means innate. Certain traits may be laid down in a child, but their development is determined by upbringing. In addition, some parents unwittingly define "nervous" and "hyperactive" children who simply need more attention than others. But besides this, there are several other external factors.
The main signs of strong nervous excitement:
- tearfulness;
- irritability and quick change of actions (sat down to read, after a couple of minutes threw away the book);
- speaks without listening to answers;
- at the sight of a new person, he becomes hysterical or just screams loudly;
- insomnia.
One of the prerequisites for this may be the postponed trauma of the craniocerebral region. The phenomenon is temporary, if the child's physical condition has returned to normal, and there are only mental manifestations that need to be corrected. Age in this case does not matter.
Less serious (but at the same time more) factor is parents and upbringing. Psychologists divide this block into several key groups:
- Frequent quarrels in the family, leading to psycho-emotional stress of the child (the younger he is, the more difficult it is to tolerate disagreements between loved ones, even if he hears only the echoes of the scandal, and is not a central participant). This also includes divorce.
- Hyper-concern, which translates into constant monitoring of the child's actions and the manifestation of constant anxiety. A kid who feels anxiety on the part of mom / dad unconsciously begins to fear the same, losing independence and self-confidence.
- Strong parental pressure. It is observed mainly in schoolchildren, but possibly at an earlier age. First of all, this is a huge range of responsibilities imposed on the kid not by age, constant nagging, reproaches, demands. A child, being in a state of permanent tension, is afraid to take an extra step so as not to receive a reprimand or even simply not to notice disapproval in the eyes of his parents.
Almost all parents sooner or later face the disobedience of their children. It is necessary to identify the cause and effect of the whims and tantrums of your child. Most often, the behavior of a child can be corrected, but only by changing the principles of upbringing.
The nervous state of the baby implies increased excitability, behavioral changes in the period of sleep and wakefulness, hysteria, and frequent irritation.
Communication with a capricious child can be very difficult.
It is difficult for parents to remain calm when the child reacts with hysteria to any request. But most of all, this behavior harms the baby himself.
Nervous children are not able to adequately communicate with their peers, enjoy life and play carefree.
Scientists and doctors believe that improper upbringing at a very early age is the cause of neuroses in children.
There is a direct connection between a child's bad behavior and his nervous state. It is very difficult to identify the true culprit in the situation. Both parents and children themselves indirectly influence each other.
The main reasons for child disobedience include:
- Attracting the attention of adults
- Excessive custody of children
With a lack of affection and care, the child instinctively begins to provoke the parents to a vivid expression of emotions.
The child's brain immediately notices that when committing any offense, parents instantly turn all their attention to it.
A child who is surrounded by constant control and prohibitions cannot be independent.
In order to defend his point of view and expand the zone of free action, the baby begins to show disobedience.
- Child resentment, even the most insignificant at an adult glance, leave an indelible mark on his soul
- Upset toddler when he cannot independently carry out something planned
- Loss of self-confidence
- Unhealthy family environment
- Lack of vocabulary and incorrect expression of emotions
- The presence of mental disorders and pathologies of the nervous system.
- Psychologically difficult situations that injure the nervous system.
- Severe psychological impact, which caused the child to be frightened.
- Lack of attention and parental care.
- Rigidity and excessive severity of education.
- Relationships between adults and the emotional background within the family.
- Jealousy caused by the appearance of a younger child.
- Anxiety, unfounded fears, tearfulness
- Troubled sleep (with frequent awakenings, difficulty falling asleep)
- Cough
- Speech problems (stuttering)
- Digestive problems, stool disorders
- Difficulties in interacting with people
With strong quarrels between parents, with thoughtless deception of the child or with the wrong behavior of others, children may have a desire to take revenge.
This is especially true for things that are easily done by others.
With frequent humiliation and twitching of the child, quibbles and admonitions, in the absence of praise and kind words, the baby's self-esteem is greatly reduced. Comparison with other children also negatively affects the psyche.
With frequent quarrels between parents, screaming and insults, the anxiety of young family members increases, isolation develops and disobedience manifests itself.
Young children can find it difficult to correctly express their thoughts and feelings.
The model of children's behavior is closely related to psycho-emotional development. Only with serious neurological diseases can disobedience be considered a disease.
In all other cases, the whims and tantrums of the baby should prompt parents to reconsider their parenting methods. If you suspect that there is hyperactivity, consult a pediatric neurologist, he will be able to determine if there is a violation in your case.
In the next article, we will tell you what it is.
Causes and symptoms of childhood neuroses
The children's nervous system has not yet been formed, so it easily succumbs to various disorders and diseases.
The attention of parents should immediately focus on the inexplicable whims of their child.
Tantrums and disobedience should be a reason for action.
Resentment, lack of attention and mental stress accumulate and gradually turn into a painful neurosis in the child.
Doctors believe that a mental disorder of a child in various stressful situations leads precisely to neurosis. This condition causes inappropriate actions of the baby.
Expert opinion
Parents should pay special attention to the behavior of the child at the age of mental formation. These are ages 2 to 4, 5 to 8, and adolescence.
Usually neuroses appear in the region of 5-6 years. But the first warning signs can be observed much earlier.
The main causes of mental illness in children include:
This can be an adaptation period in society and the associated difficulties of communication, parental quarrels.
Or frequent overexcitation of the nervous system.
External events taking place around the baby can also cause neuroses. Take care of the child's nervous system!
The first symptoms indicating the presence of a disease of the nervous system:
Excessive excitability and aggressiveness, the withdrawn behavior of the baby is a wake-up call for adults.
Expert opinion
Klimenko Natalya Gennadievna - psychologist
Practicing psychologist at the municipal antenatal clinic
With such questions, it is advisable to immediately contact a specialist. He will explain to you what you need to do to strengthen the nervous system. Passive behavior of parents is fraught with a more serious development of the disease.
In the future, such children have difficulties in life: lack of communication skills, indecision, fear of difficult problems.
If the usual rhythm of life is disturbed by the child's disobedience and tantrums, then you should seek help.
Complex problem solving will help the child in normal psychological development.
Nervous tics in a child: signs and causes
A nervous tic in a baby is an involuntary movement of a muscle group that he is not able to control.
According to doctors, every fifth child is faced with short-term stuttering at least once in his life.
In 10% of children, the disease is chronic.
Such horrifying numbers indicate that a large number of children and adolescents suffer from communication difficulties, complexes and self-doubt.
The problem is very serious and causes a lot of negative consequences, especially in adulthood.
There are three main types of children's nervous tics:
- Ritual.
- Motor.
- Vocal.
Teeth clenching, scratching of certain parts of the body (ears, nose), hair pulling.
Involuntary grimaces (frequent blinking, frowning eyebrows), lip bite, twitching limbs.
These include all involuntary sounds (hiss, coughing, grunting, and others).
Nervous tics can also be categorized according to their degree of manifestation.:
- Local
- Plural
With the action of only one muscle group.
Movements are performed by several muscle groups at once.
Ticks are also categorized according to the type of occurrence.
The primary course of the disease can be caused by:
- Lack of beneficial trace elements in the body with an unbalanced diet.
- Psycho-emotional problems.
- Drinking a lot of drinks that affect the nervous state.
- Hereditary predisposition.
- Excessive tiredness.
- Brain injuries and neoplasms
- Nervous system pathologies
- Encephalitis
Have you noticed signs of a nervous tic in your child?
YesNo
In 50% of cases, a nervous tic is transmitted from parents to children.
A secondary type of nerve tic can develop if there are problems:
The disease affects the child's sleep. Children find it more difficult to fall asleep and sleep restlessly.
If you are desperate to find a common language with your child, then you should definitely read Julia Gippenreiter's books "The Most Important Book for Parents" or "Communicate with Your Child. How?"
Also, the methods of resolving conflict situations are described in great detail in the books of another child psychologist - Lyudmila Petranovskaya: "If it is difficult with a child" and "Secret support. Affection in the life of a child. " These books are real bestsellers and have helped bring peace back to many families, so give it a try.
Treatment of a nervous tic
The appearance of a nervous tic in a child should alert parents. It is necessary to see a doctor if the following symptoms are observed:
For the effective treatment of a nervous tic, it is necessary to create a favorable and calm home environment, organize the correct daily routine, take long walks, play sports, and a balanced diet.
Herbal decoctions are used as folk remedies: chamomile, motherwort, valerian, hawthorn.
Expert opinion
Klimenko Natalya Gennadievna - psychologist
Practicing psychologist at the municipal antenatal clinic
Treatment of the disease also depends on age. In children from 3 to 6 years old, the course of the disease will be unpredictable. Even with the recovery and disappearance of symptoms, it is necessary to monitor the child's condition daily, until the end of adolescence.
The appearance of tics in babies under the age of 3 is especially dangerous. This is possible in the presence of serious illnesses.
Tics that start in children between 6 and 8 years of age are the easiest to treat and usually do not show up anymore.
Raising nervous children
Effective treatment of neuroses in children can be carried out only in the complex interaction of a doctor and parents.
Special therapies, medication and adult help will help relieve your baby of a nervous breakdown.
The child will cease to feel shyness and embarrassment, will become more active and cheerful.
The work of parents in this matter is very important. It is necessary to provide a comfortable environment for the child, to find out the causes of nervous breakdowns.
Squeezed into the strict framework of upbringing, a child must receive his share of independence. You should not control every step of the baby. Every mom needs to prioritize timing correctly.
You can set aside a certain hour or two a day when she will be fully focused on communicating with her child.
It is the responsibility of every parent to bring up a normal, psychologically healthy child. A harmonious and calm environment will allow you to grow a person with a healthy nervous system out of a baby.
Crises in children
Problems in communication between adults and children arise at certain periods when the child's psyche is most susceptible to negative influence.
There are 4 periods of crisis:
- From 1 to one and a half years.
- 2.5 to 3 years old.
- 6-7 years old.
- After 10 years.
A small person is not able to combine his desires and capabilities.
The manifestation of excessive independence in a child, which he cannot cope with, due to his age.
This period is closely connected with going to school for the first time. Understanding the difficult state of the child, the patience and attention of the parents will help the child cope with the first steps in adulthood.
The period of adolescence, associated with youthful maximalism, is close. A clear desire to divide the whole world into "good" and "bad".
Parents are required to be utterly honest in communication, respect for the little person and patience.
There is no clear division of crises by age. In each case, the child develops individually. And certain actions appear at different times.
"Difficult" children
In certain life situations, obedient children turn into capricious little tyrants.
Do you manage to stay calm while punishing your child?
NoYes
The even and calm tone of adults, even when punishing a child, is of great importance.
By your example, you can convince the kid to do the right thing.
The words “do as I say” are not effective for children. The behavior of the baby is always a reflection of the behavior of the parents.
Children can already argue their actions, and parents must make it clear that discussion of the problem is always possible.
It is important to say them so that the baby learns.
With control over their behavior and regular analysis of situations of disobedience, parents can easily cope with raising children.
Doctor Komarovsky about naughty children
According to the famous doctor Komarovsky, the correct and unbending behavior of adults, consistency and their adherence to principles, allows you to correct even the most disobedient and noisy child.
Having steadfastly withstood children's tantrums, and not succumbing to manipulation, the baby will soon realize that he will not be able to achieve anything by screaming.
Raising children is a complex process that requires the full commitment of all family members. Competent and trusting building of relationships, calmness and patience of parents, will allow to re-educate even the most disobedient and irritable baby.