How to get rid of jealousy. Reasons when a girl or a guy is jealous of a partner to everyone. Brief instructions on how to get rid of jealousy of your husband

17.07.2019

There is no feeling more difficult and destructive than jealousy. It is she who becomes the cause of most divorces, quarrels and even tragedies that occur in the family. Unfortunately, no matter how we persuade ourselves not to be jealous, there is usually no point in this. But what to do, how to overcome jealousy? Before answering this question, it is worth getting to know the enemy by sight.

What is jealousy?

Family psychologists define jealousy in different ways, but most of them believe that it is a need to possess an object of love. T.M. Zaslavskaya and V.A. Grishin argue that at each stage of the development of love relationships, jealousy has its own characteristics. If at the very beginning of falling in love it is associated with a desire for reciprocity, then later it manifests itself as a desire to keep a partner. At the same time, this feeling is completely useless, since it does not allow me to establish family relations, but, on the contrary, destroys them.

So, according to research by the New York Center for Family Psychology "Psy Family Therapy", the main ones, in one way or another, are associated with jealousy. To answer the question of how to overcome jealousy and find peace of mind, let's take a closer look at why it occurs.

Jealousy as a consequence of psychological trauma.

If a person had to experience the betrayal of a loved one, he may develop a “jealousy attitude” or a readiness to be deceived. A man in this state is constantly looking for his beloved in the behavior, since he believes that if he has time to recognize them, he will not feel humiliated and will be able to avoid pain.

Women worry if, and harass themselves and their partner with endless suspicions. Such an attitude may be the result of trauma, or improper upbringing, when a boy or girl was taught that the opposite sex cannot be trusted. By the way, jealousy, in most cases, has no basis. It arises exclusively for reasons of an internal nature.

Jealousy as an addiction.

People who are insecure and anxious are more prone to jealousy. As a rule, they become emotionally dependent on a partner and suffer from uncertainty about the future fate of the union.

Jealousy as a manifestation of authority.

A very special feeling of jealousy is experienced by overly powerful people who treat the chosen one as personal property and cannot even admit the thought that he has the right to a separate life. Such people, as a rule, do not respect and literally "strangle" their partner with their attention.

Jealousy is a projection of one's own feelings.

Psychoanalysts, including K.G. Jung, viewed jealousy as transferring one's own desire to change onto a lover.

How to overcome jealousy?

So, given the main reasons for jealousy, you can give some simple recommendations to those who want to get rid of this heavy feeling.

Accept the fact of jealousy. Don't endlessly convince yourself and your partner that you are not jealous at all. This is the first step to making your relationship healthier.
Think about the fact that looking for signs of jealousy of your loved one (or loved one) only makes sense if you are going to break up. If you want to live happily ever after, then why do you need new reasons for suffering?
Jealousy is often a sign of distrust in a partner. Think about how to recover, talk sincerely with each other and try to understand why you are tormented by suspicions.
If the feeling of jealousy captures you, do not keep emotions in yourself, write them down on paper. After being brought out, the feelings will no longer seem so scary to you, and perhaps you will understand that they are simply ridiculous.
If you suffer from self-doubt and think that your partner will definitely find someone better, work on your self-esteem. First, write down what other girls (or guys) you think are better than you. Then write down your attractive features. Try to emphasize them in yourself. Everyone has drawbacks, you cannot become an ideal, but skillfully emphasizing your own positive qualities will add to your self-confidence.
Sometimes the fear of loss leads to the fact that you do everything to push the person away from you. By cutting off the air for your soulmate, trying to fill all areas of his (her) life, you will only achieve that he or she wants to get rid of you.
Remember that jealousy will not help you keep your loved one close. You will only be together if you want to. In conclusion, we can say that no matter how strong negative emotions are, having gathered strength, you can overcome jealousy, and then true love will become possible.

Surely almost everyone has experienced this feeling at least once in their life. Unpleasant, but annoying, which is not so easy to dismiss. It is associated with experiences of fear, helplessness, resentment, envy. A person can mentally understand that such a "bouquet" will not bring either joy or benefit, but feelings often prevail over reason. Any person can succumb to jealousy, but female jealousy has its own characteristics. The fairer sex is distinguished by greater emotionality and a tendency to fantasize, therefore, their jealousy is often far-fetched. A woman is inclined to accumulate negative feelings and suspicions in herself for a long time, and then in an instant she spills everything out on her spouse, leading him to bewilderment. Moreover, jealousy often arises not only to potential "rivals", but also to friends, colleagues, work, hobbies of her husband ... Actually, to everything that surrounds him and what happens without her, his wife, participation. There can be many reasons for the outbreak of this feeling, but not everyone thinks about the true reasons, although it is the awareness of one's own sources of jealousy that is the first step to control it.

Reasons for jealousy

First of all, you need to understand that reason for jealousy is always inside you - these are your problems, complexes, fears, attitude to yourself and to your own life. In this situation, there will always be a reason for jealousy, but neutralizing one reason will not solve the problem, because there will always be another: if the husband does not stop working surrounded by female colleagues, his beloved car, friends or his mother will remain. Therefore, you need to understand the true reasons for jealousy. Let's consider them.

Lack of confidence in yourself, in a relationship with a partner... A lot of fears and “gloomy pictures of the future” stem from low self-esteem. Everyone may feel insecure from time to time, which is normal. This is an incentive for self-improvement, but sometimes the feeling of self-doubt is not worked through, but turns into an inferiority complex. Quite often, this situation is exacerbated during pregnancy, when a woman's emotions are unstable due to hormonal changes, she gets used to the changing body, to the restrictions caused by the expectation of a child. At such moments future mom can not always be sure of what remains for her husband as attractive and desirable.
Dissolution in a partner... "Creation of an idol", sacrifice for him a career, hobbies causes a completely understandable fear of losing everything that was life, and panic jealousy. Dissolving in a spouse, a woman often fills a certain void in her life in this way or runs away from the need for independent decision-making and responsibility.
Lust for control... In this case, the woman needs to participate in all spheres of her husband's life, otherwise she loses a sense of control and stability. While waiting for the baby, the expectant mother often wants to unite with her husband as much as possible, to create a so-called "pregnant couple", so the understanding that the spouse sometimes has separate affairs from her causes jealousy.
Fears... All of the above reasons for jealousy are the source of a wide variety of fears: changes, betrayal, pain, loss of love ... Feeling of fear is a powerful negative energy, which, unfortunately, is often activated during pregnancy, since a pregnant woman increases anxiety for the future, responsibility for the child's life, fantasies appear, based on feelings, not reasonable arguments.

Jealousy often accompanies love, but does not stem from it. After all, love presupposes trust in a partner. But jealousy, on the contrary, rather signals that a person is overwhelmed with negative feelings that he cannot cope with. At the same time, no one is immune from the appearance of jealousy, so it is important to understand in time how you can fight it so that it does not destroy family relationships.

How to get rid of jealousy

1. Awareness of your emotions
You need to take it for granted that you are jealous. After all, we often deny unpleasant qualities in ourselves, shifting responsibility for our sometimes inadequate reactions to those around us. But is it really your husband's fault that you threw a tantrum after seeing him hold the front door in front of a pretty neighbor? These are your emotions, your behavior. You, like any person, experience many feelings, including jealousy. And only you will have to deal with it. Try to observe your jealousy for a while, understand what specific sensations and experiences it consists of, disassemble it into parts: fear, powerlessness, anger, envy ... Conscious emotions that have been defined lose some of their power over a person.
2. Determining the cause of jealousy
You need to ask yourself the question: “What am I afraid of so much that I start to get jealous? What prevents me from living normally? " This can be the fear of being left alone and raising a child without a father, or the lack of confidence that you can be loved and not looking for someone better, the fear of losing your attractiveness to your husband, etc. In other words, you need to find your own reasons for jealousy, which means - to look inside yourself and meet your shortcomings and complexes. Only after that, having accepted responsibility for your feelings and having found the origins of the problem, you can proceed to its direct solution.
3. Dealing with fears
Jealousy is always accompanied by anxiety and fear. An emotional woman, especially a mother-to-be, is capable of thinking up anything. But there is usually nothing behind the feeling of fear - our imagination stops at a frightening situation and does not look further into the consequences. In such a situation, it is better not to hide from your fears, but to face them "face to face." Imagine that the worst thing has already happened, and in accordance with this, determine the plan of your actions - preferably in writing. Let's say your husband really decides to leave you, and you have to raise your child alone. What are you going to do? You will likely be upset and depressed for a while. But then you pay attention to your baby, who needs a happy mother, besides, you can always call relatives and friends, and the husband's parents can provide all possible help. Then you will try to find a job at home, because today there are many opportunities for this ... So is it worth spoiling your life with jealousy now if any, even the most terrible for you, at first glance, turn of events has a solution?

9. Control over jealousy
Jealousy can be devastating to both a person's mental health (especially when the expectant mother is jealous) and to a relationship with a spouse. But jealousy becomes so "concentrated" when it is impulsive, when it springs from suppressed negative emotions. Jealousy is perceived as a bad, disapproving feeling, so many are ready to hide it to the last, be ashamed and blame themselves for experiencing it. And this only further inflames emotions and reduces control. Allow yourself to be jealous, but not all the time, but at a strictly defined time, for example, on Sundays before dinner. Set a framework for your jealousy. Explain your behavior to your spouse and ask him to play along with you. Thus, jealousy can become a small family tradition that can later be remembered with laughter.
10. Consulting a psychologist
Jealousy is a difficult feeling, so dealing with it yourself is not easy. If you feel like the situation is getting out of control, you can always see a psychologist who can help you find the right way to calm your feelings. If for some reason you cannot resort to the help of such a specialist, try to find a “confidant” in your environment: a friend, sister or mother - a person to whom you listen. If necessary, communicate with him, discuss the events that have occurred and your feelings, articulate your feelings, understand them. It is important that all negative emotions get an outlet, and not accumulate.
Everyone should feel free, even when they are in a family. This is our inner need, without which it is impossible to feel like a full-fledged person and be happy. And jealousy limits the freedom of both spouses, since it imposes control over one and takes possession of the feelings of the other. You should not put up with this negative feeling, it is better to learn to build relationships on trust and freedom of choice than on coercion and restriction.

Many girls are familiar with jealousy firsthand. They are jealous of their lovers, spouses, children and even good friends of other people, if it begins to seem that they have become less attentive to us. That is why the question of how to get rid of jealousy often comes up in counseling with a psychologist or in everyday communication with friends.

It should be understood that jealousy is difficult to attribute to positive feelings. On the contrary, such experiences corrode a person from the inside, like acid, and worsen the relationship with a partner. But you can still cope with them if you make every effort and strain your willpower.

This feeling arises when a person lacks affection, attention from significant people, in addition, it begins to seem that all these emotions are receiving a completely different face. If a girl is jealous all the time, with completely different faces, then we can talk about a character trait - jealousy.

A jealous person is a person in love, this is how it is considered in society. Moreover, many are convinced that love and jealousy are closely interrelated and one is impossible without the other. However, this opinion is a clear delusion.

The roots of jealousy and jealousy do not lie in love, on the contrary, negative emotion in every possible way prevents the strengthening of attachment and the progress of relationships.

Several factors are the sources of jealousy. Let's consider them in more detail.

Low self-esteem. Perhaps this personality trait is the most common cause of jealousy. For example, on a subconscious level, a girl thinks that she is not attractive enough, that she is not smart enough for her chosen one.
Fear of losing your beloved. A jealous person is afraid of losing a loved one or not getting what he needs. This factor is interconnected with self-doubt, when a person doubting his own dignity is afraid to part with a partner, including because of the fear of finding a new object for passion.
Selfishness. We are all to some extent selfish, but jealous people consider their loved ones their property and do not even dare to think that they can have relationships with other people. As a result, the victims of jealousy are deprived of their own desires, needs and rights.
Negative past experience. Previous relationships, in which there were betrayals, deceptions, often cause a girl or boyfriend to become jealous of their new partner and suspect him of a tendency to betrayals.

"Everyone thinks to the extent of his own depravity" - a well-known folk wisdom in in this case very appropriate. Jealous people often judge their beloved by themselves, that is, they attribute to them the same inclinations and habits.

With a high degree of probability, it can be assumed that a jealous young man or girl themselves are cheating on their partners, but they do not want to be treated in the same way.

Is this emotion always negative? Figuratively speaking, jealousy is a seasoning. If you doze it, then life together can become more "tasty" and exciting. However, with excessive use of this spice, no one will eat the dish.

In addition, jealousy can play a positive role when a person realizes his flaw, revises his own behavior and changes his view of the relationship with a partner. But for this it is necessary to realize the negative consequences of jealousy.

A number of factors are attributed to negative aspects.

The jealous person feels constant mental discomfort, since his entire existence is poisoned with mistrust and fears. The occurrence of stress and even somatic diseases is not excluded.
The consequence of jealousy is envy. At the same time, a jealous girl or young man envies everyone with whom a loved one has a good relationship. Envy is an extremely unproductive and destructive emotion that pushes you to do unwanted actions.
A jealous person always depends on a partner (loved one). Any offense multiplies tenfold, and any compliment and pleasant words act like a drug. As a result, a painful, destructive connection is formed.
A jealous person often destroys relationships. Few people want to be controlled, bullied, suspected of non-existent sins. As a result, marriages break up, friendship breaks down, parent-child relationships go wrong.

Thus, a short conclusion can be drawn: jealousy is justified only if it increases the enthusiasm of lovers with each other or stimulates a person to work on himself. But at the same time, it is important that it be temporary.

In all other situations, this feeling only poisons the human soul, leads to numerous problems with the psyche and bodily health, and destroys love and friendship. Therefore, it is better to get rid of it.

"Symptoms" of jealous behavior

The manifestations of jealousy depend on the characteristics of the person himself, his character and temperament. For example, there may be unreasonable outbursts of rage, quarrels, control over communication with third parties. A jealous person often interrogates about leisure activities outside the home, waits from work or school, examines the phone, e-mail and SMS.

Another option is the desire to attract the attention of the adored object. In this case, jealous people can even change their appearance in accordance with the ideal partner. For example, plump girls lose weight, become blondes or brunettes, etc.

At the same time, one can distinguish differences in the manifestations of jealousy in women and in the stronger sex. Lovely ladies often delve into themselves, experience anxiety, but in some situations they roll up scenes of jealousy and show partners hysterical attacks.

Young people, on the other hand, try to control their beloved ones, perhaps even the use of physical force (up to assault). Some men become more strict and colder in dealing with the objects of passion.

Still, there are general "symptoms" of jealousy:

increased attachment to the object of passion;
the desire to control his actions, to limit the circle of communication;
relationship anxiety;
desire to be close to a loved one;
negative in relation to those people who communicate and interact with the object of jealousy.

Situations are not uncommon when jealous people hide their own negative emotions, either by being ashamed of this, or fearing that the object of passion will break off the relationship. It is good if you can cope with jealousy with simple willpower, but more often than not, a deep study of this state is required.

So, you decided to exclude such an unpleasant feeling as jealousy from your relationship with your lover, child, parents or friend. Let's say right away that this process is not fast, but the recommendations of psychologists will tell you how to speed it up.

Preliminary stage

Admit to yourself that you are "sick" with jealousy. This is the most important condition for working through any negative feeling. Once you realize and accept your identity, you can make plans to overcome this state.
Try to establish the true background of jealousy towards a loved one. Maybe you are pathologically afraid of losing your loved one? Low self-esteem prevents you from taking a worthy place next to him? Have you been betrayed by your lover before? Understanding the reason will allow you to intensify the work to overcome the complexes.
Try to analyze your feelings. experienced in a fit of jealousy. A jealous person can feel fear, anger, envy, disgust, anxiety, etc. Once you understand the emotional spectrum, you can more easily manage your feelings during the next outbreak of excessive suspicion.
Admit your emotions to the object of jealousy. At the same time, it is not necessary to talk derogatoryly about yourself ("I am bad, I am angry"); it is enough, without hysterics and accusations, to talk about how you feel when your beloved is delayed. For example: "I worry when you come home at the wrong time" or "I take offense if you flirt with other women."

Thus, you need to understand that you have a problem and it needs to be solved. Only in this case it will be possible to outline a plan for further work on oneself and relationships. You should not dismiss the existing negative "symptoms" of jealousy.

Work on yourself

Treat yourself better. As noted, low self-esteem is the most common cause of jealousy. To get rid of unreasonable jealousy, you need to change your attitude towards yourself, learn to value and respect your own personality, pluses and strengths. Of course, for this you have to work hard: give up any habits, change your hairstyle, sign up for fitness. That is, to do something that will increase the value of your personality in your own eyes.
"Attract" positive emotions. Psychologists advise to reflect more often on what attracts your beloved to you. Surely you can find many strong qualities, features that appeal to your loved one (boyfriend, spouse). Having dealt with the list of advantages, it is necessary to demonstrate them to your partner more often.
Keep yourself busy. Getting distracted from obsessive thoughts is a great idea. You can do your favorite activities (reading, drawing, etc.), choose a hobby. In addition to the fact that you will notice a certain effect in the form of performance results, you can also forget about the desire to control a loved one.
Choose a method for safely splashing out negative feelings. As an option - communication with an understanding friend, keeping a diary, correspondence with people who have encountered the same problem on thematic forums, working out in the gym (punching a pear, as an example). It is important to choose the most appropriate way to release anger and anger.

If you realize that you cannot deal with feelings on your own, and jealousy really interferes with life, you should think about contacting a psychologist. An experienced specialist will help you find points of support and correct the situation in your favor.

Working on relationships

Learn to trust. If your partner gives no real reason for mistrust, try not to "create evidence" yourself. This is difficult because it is necessary to discard previous experience, innate suspicion, etc. But if you manage to give freedom to a loved one, he will begin to treat you better, as a result of which your fears and anxieties will recede.
Change the wording. If control and the desire to know as much as possible about the life of a loved one or loved one does not disappear from the behavioral repertoire in any way, try at least to formulate questions and desires in a different way. For example, instead of a categorical demand for a spouse to explain where he was after work, you can ask a softer question: "Did your day go well?" or "Is something bothering you?"
Don't keep the person close to you, but organize joint leisure. There is no need to force a loved one to always be there. It is much better to organize your time together, but, of course, you need to do it in such a way as not to look intrusive. You can go to cinemas together, go to the gym, go fishing, after all.
Generate positive emotions. Rudeness, anger, envy and other negativity only increase the gap between people. This is why psychologists recommend “turning on the generator” of positive emotions as soon as you feel the urge to control the object of jealousy. It is no secret that a person on a subconscious level is drawn to someone who is full of energy, positiveness and goodwill. Go for it!

The ability to express positive emotions can and should be trained. Try not to make a sour face in front of the mirror or when communicating with relatives, but, on the contrary, smile, say pleasantries and make compliments. All this will soon become a habit and become a part of your life.

Isolated cases of jealous behavior

Girls and women are jealous not only of a real partner. An unpleasant feeling can be caused by the former girlfriends of the gentleman, his children from a previous marriage. In addition, some even manage to be jealous of their ex-spouse or boyfriend, although they have long since parted and entered into other relationships. Let's consider some situations in more detail.

Jealousy of your ex-spouse

Not all women with peace of mind let their former lover go to "free swimming". Some even after separation continue to suffer, suffer from jealousy. This is easily explained by selfishness and unwillingness to part with their property, into the category of which the former spouse passes. What to do?

Accept the very fact of the final breakup and acknowledge that the ex-boyfriend has the right to arrange his personal life.
Get rid of the former relationship, turn it into a memory.
Thank your failed life partner for all the good things, for the pleasant minutes or years of your life.
If the person was unfaithful to you, forgive him. If offended, again show generosity.

All these actions will not only help you cope with jealousy of your former life partner, but will also prepare you for a new relationship that will most likely be more successful.

Jealousy of the lover's ex-girlfriends

Quite often, new relationships develop unsuccessfully because we are jealous of the past of our beloved. The main reason for negative emotions is the fear of being compared with former passions and the fear that he may return to them at some point.

What to do in this situation? It is necessary again to understand that if he preferred you, then you are better than those other women. Therefore, your task is not to harass him with bouts of jealousy, but to convince in all possible ways (in a reasonable dosage) of the correctness of the choice made.

Jealousy for the spouse's children

A similar feeling often arises in those women who meet or marry a man who already has experience of marriage and, accordingly, children. At the same time, it should be understood that in fact you are not jealous of the child, but of your partner's ex-wife. A few tips will help you fix the situation.

Give up the prohibitions and restrictions on meeting and communicating with children. Otherwise, he will begin to choose between you and the offspring, and it is highly likely that he will give preference to the latter.
Arrange meetings on your premises. At the same time, if communication with a child is unpleasant for you or you cannot force yourself to be “radiant with happiness,” just leave for this time to your mother, friend.
Ideally, it is best to make friends with children. A warm relationship with a child will allow you to get closer to your spouse, moreover, you will gain a good ally in a relationship with your beloved.

Never speak negatively about your spouse's children, even when talking to your friends. Unfortunately, no one can guarantee that your words will not reach unwanted addressees. As a result, indiscretion can even lead to a break in the relationship.

Conclusion

Jealousy is a complex feeling, even more like a tangle of emotions that are so closely intertwined that it is extremely difficult to find a leader and unwind the plexus of threads. It is important to understand that jealousy is not a synonym for “love”, so you should fight with excessive distrust and suspicion.

Competent and constant work on oneself will not only reduce the intensity of unwanted passions, but also strengthen love, mutual understanding, and increase respect for each other. As a result, you will have fewer reasons for negative perception of the world around you.

Hello, I am Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully completed her studies at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and consulting parents on raising babies. I use the experience gained, including in the creation of articles of a psychological orientation. Of course, in no way do I pretend to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers to deal with any difficulties.

- this is unreasonable jealousy. Many site visitors ask the question: How to get rid of jealousy to her husband, her man, boyfriend ... what needs to be done for this? Need advice from a psychologist ...

With the rise of social media addiction and frequent dating, some people become jealous online ... before they even start a real relationship.

What is jealousy in love relationships - I have already written, but nevertheless, the feeling of jealousy has a unique, usually purely individual character.

How to get rid of jealousy of your husband - a question for a psychologist

Hello, please tell me how to get rid of jealousy of your husband- insane feeling of jealousy?
Briefly about myself: Katya, I am 23 years old, my husband is also, we have known each other for 16 years (we studied together in the same class and he always ran after me), but together only 2 years, got married in September last year, no children.

My problem just drives me crazy! I am very jealous of my husband, I have already begun to reach the point that I check his phone every day, I constantly suspect him of something ... This is possible and not without reason, he very often calls girls with whom, I know that he is not connected by any work interests ... it is for this reason that, as I think, my suspicions began ... It's just that, if we don't take these calls into account, we are doing well, he pays attention to me, gives gifts and I feel that I love….

Except that he still began not to treat me as reverently as before, now his opinion is more important to him in many issues than mine (although before it was the opposite), before he treated me just like a princess, he extolled me, And on the contrary, I fell in love with him much later, I always treated him like a boy who would not go anywhere from me, but now everything is the other way around, I’m running after him like a tail! And I understand that this is also another problem ...

My jealousy is already driving me crazy, I'm looking for a catch in everything…. I understand that it cannot continue this way and that it will not lead to anything good, but I cannot cope with it! I don’t understand why call other girls so often when I’m better off dialing again !!! But I can't tell him that! (I don’t admit that I’m checking the phone) he already guesses and deletes everything!
Please tell me how can I get rid of just crazy jealousy? And is it possible to return his past attitude to me? Thank you in advance!

How to get rid of jealousy of a man (husband) - the answer of the psychoanalyst

Hello Katya!
To get rid of feelings of jealousy for a man, often unfounded and unreasonable, which is caused by some, sometimes having a basis of suspicion, it is necessary to understand and realize what is hidden in the depths of the psyche, in inner convictions (sometimes interfering with life), tk. jealousy is not an innate, fake feeling, which usually hides the innate emotion of fear, fear, for example, to lose a loved one, to be alone, etc.

Usually, as early as childhood, the child learns to show his jealousy; in fact, he shows some kind of psychological blackmail, or even racketeering in relation to, for example, parents who, as it seems to the child, give more love and attention to other family members, say, brothers and sisters, or a spouse ...

In fact, the child is afraid, because because of his childish thinking, he perceives the lack of love, and even more its loss from mom or dad, as a threat to life. But, because he has not learned to show a true feeling of fear and cannot return with this authentic feeling, as it seems to him, outgoing love, the child learns, including copying from the behavior of loved ones, to apply the strategy of jealousy, resentment and other methods of psychological blackmail.

Because This strategy is kept in the depths of the psyche, in the unconscious, then adults, usually without realizing it, automatically use this childish strategy of thoughts, feelings and behavior, which naturally does not help to solve the problem, including with real suspicions, in adulthood.

Adults need to solve the problem in an adult way, especially since there should be no mistrust and secret, almost spyware checks in harmonious family and love relationships.

Sometimes, spouses are so "programmed" by their upbringing that they cannot independently and openly resolve their problems and get rid of suspicion and jealousy. To do this, they need an intermediary, usually in the person of a family psychologist or psychotherapist.

Your problem is solvable, and if you have a desire, then I can advise you and conduct psychoanalysis online or by correspondence, and help you understand your inner, deepest beliefs, get to know yourself, get rid of jealousy of your husband and establish harmonious marital relations.

Instructions

Try to boost your self-esteem. Because jealousy in its extreme, unsightly forms, as a rule, is characteristic of people with low self-esteem, obsessed with complexes. First of all, an inferiority complex. Because they are overwhelmed with jealousy, they are not sure of their own attractiveness, dignity. It seems to them that if a loved one is taken away from them, they will no longer be able to find their happiness with anyone and will be doomed to loneliness.

Take a look at yourself "from the outside" and understand that your behavior will sooner or later alienate from you the very person whom you are so desperately trying to keep!

In no case do not let your relatives, friends, girlfriends into your problems. Especially girlfriends, even the closest ones! You don't want a lot of people to soon begin to discuss with interest: do you have a serious reason for jealousy, or is it just the fruit of your unhealthy imagination?

Try to control yourself in every possible way, first of all, do not arrange showdown scenes in front of strangers. If necessary, take sedatives, preferably herbal medicines (valerian drops, etc.).

Instead of such scenes, it is better to calmly talk with your loved one. Of course, face to face! Say that you love him, that he is dear to you, and therefore you want your love not to be overshadowed by anything. And then explain what exactly you dislike, embarrass, and arouse your suspicions. Speak only to the point, without getting lost in minor details, without emotions, reproaches, especially scandals!

If your loved one answers calmly, logically (albeit with annoyance or even resentment), trying to explain that your suspicions were unfounded, consider yourself lucky and no longer tempt fate. If he bursts out with reproaches and accusations, your relationship hangs in the balance. Think seriously about how to preserve them, and whether or not they are worth preserving.

And in general, remember that strong jealousy is the lot of weak, notorious, insecure people! Do you really want to be thought of like that?

Jealousy is a familiar feeling for people in love and close to each other. It often appears suddenly, for a variety of reasons. You should understand this issue in order to get rid of this annoying feeling.

Psychologists understand jealousy as a certain emotional state, characterized by excessive suspicion, and in some cases - incontinence and anger. Both men and women experience it equally. In most cases, jealousy extends to the object of the love relationship, but can affect both close friends and relatives.

Most often, the explanation for jealousy is simple and understandable: a person, because of strong feelings for the object of his love, perceives it already as a special object or thing that belongs only to him alone. It is because of this that he begins to treat his second half with suspicion when she communicates with the opposite sex, is often absent at home, behaves unusual, etc. There is a fear of loss, betrayal of a loved one. Usually, this behavior is considered the norm, except for those cases when it becomes unreasonable: a person begins to be jealous of his object of love for literally everything, falling into depression because of this. In such situations, psychological assistance may be needed.

A person usually becomes prone to jealousy in childhood, for example, when parents begin to pay more attention to his brothers and sisters or other relatives. Friends who start spending time in other companies and stop communicating as they used to often become a reason for jealousy. As a result, the child receives deep psychological trauma. Because of this, there is a great uncertainty in the people around and in oneself, there is a fear of being left without attention, of losing touch and relationships with a close and dear person, or anger because of his constant suspicion of betrayal.

To overcome jealousy, you need to look deep into yourself, to understand what was the reason for its occurrence. Having found this out, consider how justified your jealousy is. Perhaps there are no reasons for her at all, and the fault is solely your excessive suspicion and hot temperament. Try to get closer to people close to you: if you get to know each other better, you will begin to share even the most intimate. In this case, you will be one hundred percent confident in the person and stop thinking that he is hiding something from you.