How to survive the betrayal of your husband if you love him. How to survive a betrayal of your husband and maintain your own dignity

06.07.2019

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Finding out the reason

A woman who finds out about the betrayal of a loved one is rarely able to think rationally. She is seized by mental pain, a flurry of negative emotions and many different thoughts, the main of which is "this is betrayal." Some are grief-stricken and endure, thereby allowing their husbands to repeat infidelity, some cut from the shoulder, not taking into account many factors that indicate the possibility - such actions are not correct, the problem must be approached competently and consciously. In this situation, it is important to determine the reason why the man committed such an act. This largely determines the scenario for the further development of events:

1. The state of alcoholic intoxication led to a one-time intrigue. In this case, betrayal may indicate a man's tendency to relationships on the side, his irresponsibility and promiscuity in sexual intercourse, then a relapse is very likely. If for a long time nothing of the kind was noticed behind him, it makes sense to forget this unpleasant event and forgive the partner. Psychologists recommend trying to discard subjective experiences and talk frankly with a man. Based on the experience of these relationships, knowledge about this person and his behavior after this act, one can understand how great the scale of betrayal is.
2. Search for new sensations, because the wife is "boring" and does not evoke old feelings. This is a betrayal, but both are to blame. Relationships are a constant job for both men and women. It is hard work to be constantly attractive, desirable and interesting. A woman needs to give an objective assessment of herself as a partner. If the husband's relationship is short-lived and he repents, then a timely reaction can save the family and prevent the relationship on the side from developing.
3. Lack of sex life with your spouse. This is also a betrayal, in which both are also to blame. Most often, intimate life comes to naught when a woman cannot afford it for health reasons - if she is pregnant, and the doctor has forbidden sexual intercourse or during periods of hormonal changes - the fairer sex at 50 years of age and older, going through menopause. The inventiveness of the couple in sexual relations plays a large role in the options for getting out of this situation.
4. New love. This is the most serious reason for cheating and, according to statistics, the couple does not have a happy future. And living together after infidelity, even for the sake of children, does not make sense.

To find out the reason, you need to sincerely talk without undue emotions and reproaches. Defending himself, a man is able to show aggression and draw erroneous conclusions about the correctness of his action.

Often the reason for a man's betrayal is called a banal lack of attention from his wife and her neglected appearance.

Ingenious revenge of her husband for treason

Decision-making

When making a decision, you need to consider several important facts:

1. Whether there is love is the main thing that can save a family. If life without a boyfriend does not seem possible and fulfilling, and even after the betrayal, quivering, tender feelings remain, it makes sense to try to live together further and become happy.
2. The presence of children. Many families for the sake of children, and this was the right decision. Over time, everything was forgotten and forgiven, the correct conclusions were drawn, and there was no more betrayal. But many others were not saved by common children, and then all family members suffered. If the spouses love each other and want to stay together, including because of the children, this is advisable. If the relationship has long exhausted itself, and cheating is just one of many problems, then it is better not to force children to look at daily scandals and absorb this model of relationships.
3. What connects (except love and children). This question is relevant for couples who have faced cheating after 30 years of marriage or more. Children have grown up, have created their own families, stormy passions have long been replaced by regularity and kinship. If the memory of the events of the common history is breathtaking and the thought of divorce is overwhelmed by melancholy - you need to live on. Sometimes couples associate common business, financial affairs and goals. Then, too, it is necessary to weigh everything before a responsible decision.
4. With whom he cheated. The hardest thing to go through is cheating with a friend or other loved one. Then trust is lost immediately to two. But it is important to take the right lesson from the situation and, in the case of the husband's forgiveness, be more careful to let other women into the house.

What to do next

Surviving a husband's infidelity is difficult in most cases. A woman's self-esteem instantly drops and a desire for revenge arises. This is a normal reaction, but harmful and meaningless. To recover from this event, you need to adhere to the effective advice of a psychologist:

1. If you betrayed and you can't forgive, you will help to survive the divorce:

Being busy with interesting things - allowing yourself to go to dances, cooking classes, to art school - something that will help heal the soul and distract. In addition, new hobbies will expand the circle of communication.
Women's joys - shopping, spa treatments, travel, vacations, etc.
Healthy sleep is very helpful in recovering from stress.
Change of image.
Career focus.
Communication with children. Surely it will be difficult for them to survive the divorce of their parents.
Communication with a psychologist, psychotherapist, loved ones will help you not to go crazy. It is important to speak out and discuss the problem. Often, relief and interim solutions come on their own after a confidential conversation.

The most important thing is to learn to trust your loved one again. The worst thing you can do is remember the betrayal, reproach your partner and suffer. The best thing is to devote more time to communication with each other, to understand where the relationship has weakened and to strengthen it. Talking to a man about his desires, asking directly disturbing questions, asking his opinion - any manifestation of sincerity will be beneficial. Checks, interrogations, suspicions, although natural in this situation, are inappropriate.
Take care of yourself. Time during this difficult period should be spent on yourself. Update your wardrobe, regularly visit a beauty salon, buy sexy lingerie, get additional education, have a positive attitude towards the future and improve yourself in every possible way.
Make the right conclusions: what could be the woman's fault (but not voice it to her husband, otherwise he may take it as an excuse for his adventures on the side), what can be expected from this man.
Making love passionately. Many find it difficult to admit a person who has recently had an intimate relationship with another. But both need it. Firstly, liberation in bed increases the libido and self-esteem of the woman herself, and secondly, this is an occasion to know yourself and your body in a new way, to learn how to get more pleasure. Thirdly, any man will appreciate this, and the desire to look for a connection on the side will disappear.
Add romance to relationships. A joint rose petal bath, candlelit dinner, city walks and passionate kisses will rehabilitate any relationship.
Do not remember the past. Many believe that if you stop reproaching for treason, a man will decide that everything is possible for him and will repeat the betrayal. But this is a superficial judgment. In fact, a man will be haunted by a feeling of guilt, regardless of whether he is remembered about the misconduct or not. Only if the spouse shows wisdom and generosity, "forgetting" the unpleasant event, the man will appreciate it and will repent inside himself, trying to beg forgiveness of the partner with courtship and worthy actions.

No matter how events develop after the betrayal, you need to avoid falling into depression and despair. Life in any case continues, and one event should not negatively affect its quality.

No one is immune from such a situation as her husband's betrayal. How do you cope with this dramatic life event? How can you find the strength to let go of this problem and start living anew? In this article, we will look at popular tips from psychologists that will definitely help you stay the winner in this difficult moral battle. These tips are ideal not only for women, but also for men who find themselves in a similar situation.

Step 1. Understand yourself

Betrayal is the hardest thing to forgive. A huge thick wall appears between husband and wife, which destroyed trust with its massive bricks. But it is much more difficult to get rid of the pain that appeared either from disappointment, or from the affected pride and selfishness, or from a lack of understanding how this could have happened at all.

But this situation has already overtaken you, and now you will have to carry a heavy burden along with your husband's betrayal all your life. How to survive and let go of it, is it possible to forgive a person after betrayal and trust him again? Psychologists advise, first of all, to understand yourself, how much and how much the unjustified act of your husband touched you. If you are ready to forgive him, but it takes time, then it is important to prepare for new mental suffering, because the path will not be easy. But if you can never be next to such a person again, then you need to learn to live on, not shutting in yourself and not allowing the situation to swallow you like a black hole.

Step 2. Realize that the world has not collapsed

This is what happened - you caught him with another, found correspondence with photographs, or achieved a confession of treason through tears and reproaches. But look around: the walls are still in place, there are no cracks on the ground, and the sky with the sun is still overhead. It's cruel, but you are not the first or the last woman on the planet to be betrayed by a loved one. However, now you have two ways: to suffer and kill your psyche, or to pull yourself together, proudly raise your head and realize that life goes on.

So how to survive the betrayal of your husband? Psychologist's advice says that you need to learn to take control of both the problem and the emotions, while not succumbing to provocations from the outside world. If you are reading this article, then you are ready to fight to get rid of the aching feeling in your chest.

Step 3. Don't look for someone to blame

Many girls ask themselves the question: "How to survive betrayal and separation from your husband?" It is very important to stop living in the past. Don't blame your husband for betraying you. You should not reproach the woman who, for some reason, got along with your beloved. And of course, in no case should you look for flaws in yourself.

There are different reasons why husbands cheat. This is also a lack of love, warmth and respect in the family; these are changes in the wife, such as ignoring self-care, lack of an intimate life, the presence of constant conflicts; this is also an accidental connection that occurred through the fault of the man himself due to his weakness or weakness. In all these situations, it is important to simply accept that the betrayal has already been committed and there is no way to fix it. To learn how to survive the betrayal of your husband, according to the advice of psychologists, you just need to leave it in the past and start working on your psychological state so that it does not destroy your future.

Step 4. Do not give up

Of course, when a turning point in life comes, you want to close yourself in an empty apartment, turn off the phone and reproach unknown forces for the kind of pain you are experiencing. But in this situation, one must not lose self-control - this is the most important point in order to learn how to survive and forgive her husband's betrayal.

No matter how much you would like, but you cannot shut yourself up. If you give up slack, allow yourself to be sad and depressed for even a second, then your internal system begins to break down. The hardest thing is to recover from a prolonged depression, but if you are mentally stronger, then such a situation will bypass you, leaving only an unpleasant aftertaste and melancholy.

If you want to be alone - please. Everyone has the right to be alone to think it over properly. But in no case refuse the help of friends and relatives, from walks and work. If you want to spend time on the couch and not in a coffee shop with a colleague is not prohibited. However, control yourself and your attitude to the world, especially if you feel that home comfort, everyday life and work begin to absorb you, making you a hermit.

Step 5. Woman snapped up

How to get rid of pain? How to survive the betrayal of your husband? The best medicine is going out. Just imagine: more than 7 billion people live on our planet, where each has its own temperament, character and interests. And more than half of the population faced betrayal, and not always at the most pleasant and suitable moments.

When you go out, you will learn that there are so many people in the world who are ready to understand and accept you, support and change your life for the better:

First, don't be afraid to meet new people. Not necessarily each of them should lead to a romantic ending. New faces and new stories are always needed. They will help you distract yourself.
Secondly, attend social events such as concerts, poetry evenings to stay at the epicenter of the action. You will always have an incentive to take care of yourself, to take care of your appearance, speech and knowledge. When you surround yourself with attention, you will begin to notice how the aching longing gradually develops into indifference.

Step 6. Don't do it out of spite

The stories of women who have survived her husband's betrayal prove that the fair sex for many years has been unable to forgive a loved one for his act. Not because they did not cope with the unpleasant feeling in their souls. The reason is hatred and a desire to take revenge (if not physically, then morally) on this man.

In such a situation, all the actions of a woman are aimed at showing what kind of life partner he has lost. For the sake of revenge and a sense of superiority, girls are ready to go to the gym, change their hairstyle, attend language courses, find more prestigious work, surround themselves with loyal people, meet beautiful men, or simply demonstrate their small and insignificant successes, but longing, anger and aggression are still remain. What is the reason and how to survive the betrayal of her husband, even if enough time has passed for calming down?

The reason is that a woman, doing various things and watching the reaction of her ex, simply forgets that she does all the actions only for herself, and not for the sake of someone else. In most cases, men simply do not see these changes, and if they do, they simply rejoice for the success of their spouses. And only in rare cases will they realize that once upon a time they caused serious harm, inflicted psychological trauma and undermined the trust of their woman.

Step 7. Discover a new world

If you do not know how to cope with your husband's betrayal and divorce, then this advice will definitely help you:

Stand up, take a deep breath, and then look around you. Do you see that the world is full of secrets, mysteries and possibilities? And if you allow it, he will plunge you into an incredible abyss of new events and acquaintances, where you can be who you want.

To understand how rich and diverse our lives are, you need to get out of your comfort zone. So how to survive the betrayal of your husband? Tip: change your hated job, delete the contact numbers of unnecessary people and stop helping those who care about you. Take care of those things that you dreamed of from early childhood, but could not realize in your married life.

You should not be stopped by age restrictions or judgmental glances from friends and family. Everyone is just waiting that after her husband's betrayal and divorce, a woman should put on a mourning dress and sigh languidly for the rest of her life, looking out the window. Read books, watch movies, listen to music, save money, buy junk food, go on a diet and start running at five in the morning, get a dog or a raccoon, write a story, sing karaoke - remember that you are surrounded by an unknown world full of magic, kindness , riddles and possibilities.

Step 8. Returning everything to square one

These helpful tips will help those who want to learn how to cope with cheating on their husband and keep their family together:

Step 9. Nobody owes anything to anyone!

The main mistake of mankind: to assume that a guy (girl) and a husband (wife) go into personal use immediately after they meet. A wedding is not a contract that your partner becomes a lifelong slave who cannot look at other people, leave the house, do what he loves, or have personal space.

Of course, cheating is a betrayal that deeply hurts and undermines trust. However, it is important to understand that the act of your husband rests on his shoulders, as well as the right to make a mistake, to realize his guilt or change his life.

Step 10. No place for principles

When girls wonder how to survive her husband's betrayal, they begin to commit rash acts. One of these is the preservation of relationships for the sake of principles, of which there are many:

Step 11. Do not throw yourself into the arms of the first comer

So how to survive the betrayal of your husband? Psychologists advise avoiding sexual contact immediately after a breakup and divorce. In most cases, the girl tries to find a replacement for her husband, demonstrating that she is not alone and is needed by someone else. However, from the outside it looks very different.

The casual partner is nothing more than a desire for revenge. And after rash sex, the woman begins to reproach and hate herself even more. It is important to remember that you cannot take revenge with the same coin.

Summing up

You can survive, while in a fairly short period. No matter how painful and offensive it may be, always remain a wise and reasonable woman. Watch your every action and do not give free rein to emotions, so that later you can come to a reasonable decision - to forgive or let go forever.

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How to survive the betrayal of your husband? Cheating is a fairly common occurrence in family life. Our great-grandmothers, and grandmothers, and mothers also faced this. Now the turn of our generation has come.

Your friend, acquaintance, relative happened to be in a similar situation. You sympathized with them all, sincerely worried about them. But when it touched your family personally, emotions just go wild. And the most offensive thing is that you saw that something was happening. Frequent delays at work, sudden business trips, stupid claims against you, new incomprehensible interests, privacy with the phone on the balcony or in the bathroom. All this was, but you did not give it due attention, and he was cheating.

If, after all that happened, you found the strength to put an end to your relationship with your husband, then you can stop reading.

Our conversation today will be useful to those women who decide to give their husband a second chance.

It is extremely important to consider that there are several psychological traps, falling into which a woman can turn her life into an absolute hell. By following these tips, you can avoid this and continue living a fulfilling life.

Trap one: idealizing a mistress.

Take it as an axiom: she is no better, moreover, even worse than you, since she dared to start a relationship with a married man, tried to break his family.

After the husband's betrayal, the wife's self-esteem goes nowhere below. You begin to idealize your mistress, telling yourself that since he preferred her to you, then she is better: an amazing athletic figure, a well-groomed face, hair and body. And she probably drives a beautiful car, has a prestigious job. Yes, and most likely, delightful in bed.

How well you think of your husband. Managed to attract the attention of such a princess!

If you have begun to be overcome by such thoughts, I have a special practice for you "How to remove the influence of a rival", which will help you restore your inner balance. You will find a link to this practice . Listen and follow the recommendations. You will be surprised how quickly the effect you get after doing this exercise.

Trap two: your own underestimation

His own underestimation appears against the background of the idealization of his mistress. Each of its features and remarkable features will serve you as a silent reproach. Only a sober view of the situation will help here. Every day we come across someone who is younger, more beautiful, more successful and more experienced than us in certain matters. Do not fall into a stupor and panic when meeting with each of them? Think, and after all for someone you are an ideal too!

Of course, the fact that you have been cheated on significantly lowers your self-esteem. But, despite this, you have remained the same, and someone is still jealous of your ability to dress beautifully, paint, cook culinary masterpieces. You should realize that nothing has changed in you personally. If such a situation allowed you to identify certain shortcomings in yourself, then this is a wonderful opportunity to think about their elimination. This will help you to dispel any sad thoughts. Do whatever will help you get the benchmark out of your head. Use the situation to your advantage. So you can make yourself even more perfect.

Trap three: guilt.

But at the dawn of your relationship, everything was so good and beautiful, wasn't it? But then it all started. Trying to determine this moment of transition, situations in which you were wrong involuntarily pop up in your memory. Somewhere inattention slipped through, it broke out and created a scandal from scratch, refused sex several times, three years ago did not pay attention to his request, etc. But today all these memories begin to swarm in your head, gaining volumes, like a snow a lump that is about to fall apart and cover you with an all-encompassing sense of guilt.

You are trying with all your might to find an excuse for what happened.

The first desire that arises in such a situation is to talk to your husband, to confess to him all your flaws. Stop! Despite the fact that both partners destroy normal family relations, only one puts the final point in them. And in this situation, the main culprit is the husband who cheated on you. It is very good that you found the strength to revise your past relationships, to reveal your own mistakes. But a personal feeling of guilt is a clear sign of giving up positions and willingness to follow the lead of her husband. What will happen next: excessive servility of the servants, sugary smiles, ingratiating themselves, increased obsession.

Stop before it's too late. Try to sit down at the negotiating table, soberly analyze both your own and his mistakes. A minimum of emotions, a maximum of common sense. Make it clear to your husband that you are ready to make concessions, change, but only with him. Gradually, but systematically, step by step, you and him.

Trap four: my husband is the ideal

Cheating is a shock and no one will argue with that. It so happens that the fear of loss is the first sensation that covers you. It is he who instantly erases from memory all past grievances that have been inflicted on you. Resisting the fear of being alone is a very difficult task. The best memories from life together come to mind, making you believe in the ideality of your own husband. And here comes the realization that how could you even think about divorce, if next to you is the ideal of a man: the most attentive, gentle, sensitive, caring.

And if he is so wonderful, then how could he cheat on you? How could he do this to you, the children, give a damn about his obligations. All this will help get rid of thoughts about the ideality of a husband. It is enough that you love him, gave him a second chance.

At this stage, it is important not to melt and not be led by your fear. Come to your senses. You are trying with all your might to postpone the moment of making a decision, because you do not know what and how to do.

There are many effective ways to cope with cheating and keep your family together. Don't be afraid. You don't need to immediately tear your relationship apart and break up immediately. You can make it so that this negative experience you are experiencing, on the contrary, will help you to better understand each other.

Trap Five: Lack of Faith in Motivation

You ask yourself the question, why did your husband still stay with you after the betrayal? There may be a lot of options: habits, laziness to change anything in your life, “why, after all, it's so good,” benefit, pity, etc. Perhaps the mistress did not want to be with him, and he just had to return home. Of course, any of these options may turn out to be true. But there is one more that a woman in a state of stress does not even know about. It's about love. No one talks about ardent, vivid feelings, because experiencing them for his own wife, the husband would hardly have decided to commit adultery. But still, without love, a man who has changed will never remain with his former woman.

Having decided to save the family, you must choose a scenario for your future behavior.

So what is the motive to bet on? To pretend to be weak, helpless, and pressured into pity? Also an option. If your husband still has love for you in his heart, then, most likely, he will really feel sorry for you, take care of you ... As long as he has enough strength and patience for this. Soon he will get tired of such a life, and he will go to look for new adventures on the side. Show how much you and your children are materially dependent on him? He will understand that by increasing material wealth, he will be able to continue to have new mistresses, although he will try to behave more carefully. Will you constantly remind of his adventures, making you constantly feel guilty, belittling his manhood? He will simply close in himself and begin to look for ways to prove his worth, not to you, but to another woman.

All these are not the best solutions for those who want to keep their families together. The ideal option is to strengthen your love. Try to forget the past, forgive the insult. Only with a pure soul can you find a way to awaken old feelings, to become such that your husband begins to admire you again. Over time, he realizes what a wonderful, gentle, sensual and luxurious woman next to him is. And it was her that he could lose, following the lead of a momentary attraction. It is highly likely that he will never again take such a rash step.

The betrayal is not forgotten, and this is a fact. Such a blow from such a dear and beloved man is unsettling. But after experiencing this, you can restore the old trust. Time is the best medicine, and the right thoughts, a competent approach will significantly speed up the recovery process.
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With faith in you and your success,
Maria Kalinina.

Each of the unpleasant events of married life at the time of his residence seems to be global. However, none of them can match infidelity. Such a nuisance is especially painful for the female half of humanity. Some persons of the weaker sex claim that adultery is tantamount to the death of a loved one. And even worse. After all, death is experienced, and over time emotions become dull. But how to forget the betrayal of her husband when he reminds of her, just being there every day?

If, after the adventures of a loved one, a beautiful person dared to save married life, she needs to prepare herself for what will not be easy. Several painful stages await her, which, in addition to a feeling of loss of trust, will be accompanied by a feeling of betrayal, humiliation and sometimes unbearable pain.

The reaction to what happened depends on how developed a person's ego is. If the spouse is jealous, then she will have a painful struggle with herself, because controlling every step of the faithful is an ineffective way to preserve the marriage. Ultimately, it will lead to another connection on the side. If she suffers from excessive pride - again, the struggle is inevitable. You will have to fight with your own barbs, reproaches and a desire to humiliate the betrayer. In such discomfort, the beloved also will not stay long.

A sad outcome awaits the family in which the female half will take on the role of an eternal victim.

Consciously or unconsciously, with or without reproaches, she will create conditions in which a man will feel guilty about all family problems (future, present and past).

The types of behavior described above are the most typical and characteristic of more than half of humanity. It is logical that bewilderment arises here about how to live with her husband after his betrayal? Is it real at all? The answer is yes. There are cases when adultery of the head of the family served as a pretext for re-creating a crumbling marriage.

Unlike the uncompromising decisions of the stronger sex (if they were betrayed), the weaker sex is more compliant. And this is understandable, since a woman thinks first of all about children and family values. She also understands that nature has endowed the stronger sex with polygamy, so she makes a small discount. But despite her efforts to understand and accept, she is often in complete ignorance: what to do to let go of the insult, how to survive the betrayal of her husband and keep the family? These are the issues we are going to deal with now.

Really, is it worth it? If the faithful cheated on you more than once and guarantees that the mistake will not be repeated, no, is it necessary to “drag the relationship by the ears”? When a person betrays, then swears fidelity, but then betrays again, it is better for the suffering half to understand right away - the carousel is endless. Do not let yourself be rocked on it all your life.

A chance for forgiveness can be given when he:

He was seduced by his mistress and could not resist the temptation.
I decided to try something new without thinking about the consequences.
I quarreled with you and decided to take revenge in this way.
I went "to the left", being drunk.

The reasons for a one-time love adventure may be different, because situations are different. The main word that should stop you from an instant breakup and help you decide whether it is worth keeping the family on a spree is just once. Betrayal, which has a term of several years, is much harder to forgive. And even if the spouse is very repentant, think about it?

The restoration of a strong connection will not take place in the following case: admitting a mistake, the faithful is guided not so much by honesty as by cowardice. This means that a man is not ready to live with remorse, he is simply afraid of them. Shamelessly hiding behind honesty, he happily admits to his soul mate of infidelity. Thus, it lightens his soul and safely shifts the burden onto the shoulders of the one he betrayed.

Even more he is amused by the fact that he is getting rid of the responsibility for the further decision: to be together or not to be. By doing this, the partner seems to say: "Decide for yourself what to do with me, I wash my hands." Although the situation is presented in a completely different way: you see how good I am, I am ready to accept any of your decisions. If a believer is really afraid of responsibility and you see that in the future he is not ready to act as he promises, then he has no place next to you.

There is another type of behavior: a man carefully hides his love affairs, as if protecting his soul mate from unnecessary stress. She guesses at the same time, but pretends that nothing is happening. Sadly, this way of married life is common. Why? Because it’s easier and easier for everyone. You don't need to think about how to forgive your husband's betrayal, because this thought threatens to leave your comfort zone. And oh, how you don't want to get out of it, it's better to live your usual life. This example can be found in couples who have lived together for 10 or more years, with children, with property and good income, which is earned by the male half of the family.

If you are not one of those, congratulations. After all, turning a blind eye to the adventures of a loved one is not to respect oneself. In addition, from carefully hidden experiences, the fair half "acquires" a mass of women's health problems, wrinkles and insomnia.

It is possible to decide to keep the couple even in this case, but not silently, not pretending not to know, but by talking and searching for compromises.

One way or another, but only the deceived side must make a decision - whether it is ready to share the future with the one who betrayed.

At first glance, an advantage, but in reality it is the greatest injustice - a victim of circumstances, who is already experiencing stress, must find the strength in herself and figure out how to save the marriage after her husband's betrayal.

The beginning of the way

It is very difficult to forgive such an act. The emergence of a sense of relief does not depend on the person. A woman may have a strong desire to let go of the hurt, but the desire will not affect the process of forgiveness itself. After all, the mind and feelings cannot be rebuilt at the click of a button. Therefore, there is only one advice about how to survive the betrayal of her husband - time. The only thing that a person can do is to bring the desired moment closer.

The first steps should be as follows:

Exhale. This means taking time out and being alone with yourself. An exhalation is necessary to cool down emotions, since going through the first stages - shock, anger, resentment and a desire to divorce - a woman is able to do stupid things, which she will regret very much later. Negative emotions are bad counselors.

Psychologist's advice: You can give free rein to emotions in a moment of stress, but making a momentary decision is by no means recommended.

Don't try to reach a verdict until you're ready. In solitude, think about what your life together was like, if it suited you, write down all the pros and cons. But don't get hung up on how to forget everything. The latter will take you to the same emotional level that you are trying to avoid.
Talk. The willingness to talk should come gradually. In the process, you need to make sure that your loved one is determined to spend the rest of his life with you in loyalty and harmony. The conversation should worry not only you, but, first of all, the one who betrayed. Make a table together in which you write down all the pros and cons of a possible separation and future life together, find out if you still have common goals (except for children), ask, in the end, if he is ready to withstand your accidentally escaped reproaches of future quarrels. In short, find out all the exciting details that will lead to the RIGHT and JOINT decision.
Contact a disinterested "judge". In such a case, a competent outside view and advice from a psychologist will help. If you don't like turning your family troubles inside out in front of a stranger, ask a friend or someone close to you (who knows how to keep secrets) to listen to both sides. An independent look will reveal things to you that you yourself did not notice. For example, that the adultery of the head of the family was committed in part through your fault.
Find the root of the problem. Perhaps the most important step on the road to forgiveness. If you find the true reason that pushed your loved one to adultery, consider that you won. After all, the next step will be to search for actions aimed at eradicating this cause. Most importantly, don't hide or deny if some of the blame for the infidelity lies with you. Perhaps the partner was looking on the side for something that he did not receive in family life. Consider this recognition from your partner as a big plus. After all, you might not have found out about the true reason, and then the probability of a repeat would have been higher.
Think about your spouse's feelings. Do you think the worst is for you right now? No. He also tries to cope with emotions: feelings of guilt, shame, discomfort. When speaking, show respect - do not insult, humiliate, do not shame. Sharing responsibility for what happened will be a huge step towards maintaining the conjugal bond.
Talk about now. You shouldn't lump everything together - remember what happened a year ago, a year and a half ago, and so on. Concentrate on the present. Discuss what your couple can do here and now in their particular situation to heal and improve their relationship. And yes, get ready for serious work on yourself in the future.

Forgiveness Through Rapprochement

When the couple makes the final verdict - to preserve the relationship at all costs - the next step should be to find ways of rapprochement. The couple needs to remember what exactly made them be together, what brought them closer, and why they fell in love with each other. In general, the recipe is as follows - open your eyes wider and fall in love with each other again.

Psychologists advise to go on a joint trip or arrange a new honeymoon. It is good if the lovers are only together (children - to the grandmother!). If this is not possible, try to be more often alone at home. Perhaps the couple will be inspired by a common hobby or a joint household activity.

An important step towards rapprochement will be the development of different habits and traditions within the family. Realize that you are entering a new phase, a new era of married life. There is no place for old experiences that lead to discord. The couple must create a different model of behavior, from which positive and harmony will come.

But you need to promise yourself not to give up at the first failure. After all, the first time, it may not work. The bitterness of the experience will emerge at first. And the thought of how to forgive her husband for betrayal and save the family can periodically knock a woman off track - it will seem to her that this is unrealistic.

Tip: As soon as the couple becomes insecure, you need to remember that now the priority is to restore the marriage, and not to find out who owes whom and what.

If the couple is confused and cannot find a way out of the current circumstances, you need to contact a specialist psychologist. There are special exercises that are worked out individually. They aim at:

Restoring spiritual closeness between partners.
Development of new communication skills.
Getting rid of old gaps in the relationship of the couple (which led to betrayal).
Restoration of the old respect and admiration.
Development of listening and listening skills.

By learning how to do the exercises, you will solve the problem by 80%. Working on herself, the wife will not even notice how the resentment will recede and forgiveness will come by itself. And the strong half, discovering new facets in himself, will get rid of the feeling of guilt and shame. In return, gratitude and inspiration will come. Namely, this is what the wife expects from the partner.

How to restore trust and bring back happiness?

Trust is perhaps the decisive factor in the question: how to survive the betrayal of her husband and save the marriage. If there is no trust, then there is no rapprochement, and without rapprochement there is no forgiveness. This is the chain.

Many wives who decided to restore their marriage after experiencing betrayal gave up precisely because of the inability to trust. And they are right in their own way. How to stay calm and smile on your face when your spouse leaves, for example, to work. After all, there are a lot of thoughts in my head: is it really going to work? Why put on new jeans? And who sent the message when he was leaving the apartment?

So that the wife does not have such speculations, the couple needs to agree that at first the man should report his actions as much as possible. If he strives to keep love, he will certainly make concessions: he will react with understanding to your frequent calls, questions about where he is and when he will return from work. Do not hesitate to ask him to call and tell him where he is, why he is delayed, and also take an interest in your affairs. A spouse who has nothing to hide will even allow his beloved to view e-mail or log in from his page on social networks.

Important! Observe the boundaries of what is permissible, do not turn trust into searches and interrogations.

Gradually, trust will return and you will no longer worry about any "suspicious" matter. And about the painful: how to keep the family after her husband's betrayal, you will completely forget. Better yet, write your own story about it and share it with the women who uselessly rush about in search of an answer.