How to support a man in a difficult period of life. Motivational verses, uplifting verses, positive verses

17.09.2019

In the article you will learn:

Words of support in difficult times for a man to cheer up

I welcome everyone! To be able to support with words is a whole art! After all, you can endlessly lament nearby, and a person will not feel better, but worse. Or, on the contrary, you can say that the wings will spread, strength and the desire to move on will appear. This article is for those who are looking forwords of support in difficult times for a man.

Does the man himself want to be supported? If the family in which he grew up was emotionally cold and support was not welcome, then in adulthood such a man will never ask for it.

Moreover, if you say something inappropriately, it will cause bewilderment, misunderstanding and irritation. You can be morally pushed away at this moment and say, for example, “ I don't need your pity". And indeed it is. A man does not need pity, but encouragement on an equal footing, the sympathy of an adult for an adult can work wonders with him.

After all, it’s difficult alone, and male friends are stingy in showing sympathy. Unless together they are meaningfully silent or throw short phrases with a call not to despair, to fight, to strive. Therefore, who, if not a woman, is able to alleviate pain in the heart and confusion in the head.

Pity is poison

Just as water wears away a stone, so pity wears away any strength of a man. Imagine if you often say that you are poor, tired, rest, lie down. Eat more densely, why strain. Sooner or later, all your plans will go by the wayside, the first will be to relax, be lazy, relax, everything is fine anyway.

For the stronger sex, this poison is many times more harmful. Since a man bears much more responsibility, he is responsible for the condition of the family, for its resources and livelihoods. If you feel sorry for him like a mother like a child, then he may well turn into a rag. There is no motivation to move forward. Only do not confuse pity and care, this is different.

Therefore, words of support should exclude pitiful statements - no “unfortunate poor fellow” and other lisping. If a man has not coped with some task, do not emphasize like, okay, it’s better to take a break from worries, why do you need it. So you can also lower self-esteem, and this threatens to destroy your relationship.

It is foolish for a man to deny the obvious. A goal was set and, for various reasons, was not achieved. But you must show empathy in the way that you believe that yourloved onecan find ways now or later to achieve not this, but another goal. That he will cope in any case, that he has all the strength and capabilities for this.

No consolation

Avoid comforting phrases like " Well, it’s okay that you were fired, but you can rest at home for a week while you look for a job. ”. This is also useless, because it is close to pity and gives no reason to strive further and be inspired by new plans. And it helps to come to terms with failure and abandon further struggle.

Cheer on time

If the failure is small (the car broke down, some plans were canceled), then cheer up shake the humorcheer up- would be a very good move. Many things in life need to be looked at more simply and not taken to heart. But if your loved one is sad, because a serious trouble has occurred, then to amuse, especially artificially and feignedly, will be inappropriate and will cause double irritation.

Don't try to please

Often women try to soften the blow with some amenities, trying to appease and distract. Such a maneuver is very good with a woman, but it will not inspire men. They are very rational and understand that all your "tricks" are played out, and once again remind you what was the reason. That is, you will achieve the opposite effect.

Unnecessary questions

Questions about what upset and why such a mood, depressing even more. Because many are ashamed to admit to a woman some of their failures. It will upset and force you to close in on yourself. But for women, this technique is very good. Since it is easier for us if we tell, cry, discuss everything in detail.

You can kindly say that ready to listen if the man wants it. If he remains silent, then he does not need it. It is enough to say that you believe in his strength and whatever happens you are there, support, and most importantly, you know that he will do everything in the best possible way.

Showdown

The worst mistake would be to take offense at his silence. Make you talk and even more ask “it was you who took offense at me”, “something connected with me”? Now he is not up to you at all and switching to trying to justify himself to you will only bring trouble. Now there is a process of digestion, and for this we need strength. And spending them on you is unproductive.

How to support when it's hard

Now you know what mistakes not to make and you are ready to learn how to maintain:

If you met your man darker than the clouds, act like you normally do. Don't jump like a dragonfly around him, but don't show it either.
If he answers with one-syllable phrases. Does not make contact, does not ask, then do not pester him. Go about your business, warning him. Give him a chance to be alone and do not interfere every 10 minutes for all sorts of imaginary reasons.
If you feel good about each other and are used to being there in moments of sadness, shut up next to him, give him a massage, do not chat, but let him feel that now he is not alone, but his wife is still loving.
Ask a question, how can you help him. Maybe go somewhere or do something. If nothing, then say something like this: I am ready to help, I know that you are a smart, strong, determined man, and therefore, if something bad happened now, you will fix everything or do it in such a way that you will change the situation in your favor "
If it happened death of a loved one, then at this moment your spiritual help is needed more than ever. Hug so that he feels your human warmth or pat on the shoulder. Say the words "Be strong, hold on, be of good cheer." Words of consolation will not help, you will not return the loss. The task is to find the strength to cope with the pain. Invite him to cry, go to church.

In fact, if you really empathize and sympathize, then at this terrible moment it does not matter what to say. The main thing is that you have the experience of suffering and you truly understand your loved one, then your words will be filled with the very spiritual meaning that he needs so much. And the faster a person cries and throws out his emotions, the faster he will live his grief. Help him with this.

I hope my article was helpful to you. Appreciate and trust each other. Your June.

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As well as strangers. If there was no hope for help and mutual assistance, it would be difficult for people in difficult times to cope with their problems, they would not be able to survive it on their own. Not everyone can find the right words that help show compassion. However, only your presence will replace all phrases prepared in advance.

The right words in difficult times

How to support a person with words if there is no opportunity to see him? You can advise and show mutual support by phone. The most important thing is that the support should not be fake, but sound very sincere. You can ask if you need any help. The inadequate emotional state of a person who has something happened does not always give him the opportunity to adequately evaluate everything that is told to him. In this case, the intonation and rhythm of the voice are important in the voice, while exerting a hypnotic effect on it and calming it.

They support not only words in difficult times, but also the very readiness to provide assistance and protection. Only the fact that you will be with a person next to him will add strength and a little confidence to him.

What words to support a person? There are several phrases that are customary to say in such situations: “I sympathize”, “Time heals wounds”, “I am very sorry”, “Over time, everything will calm down, everything will pass” and many others. But if a person does not feel sincerity during the sounding of these phrases, then they will not have any positive effect on him.

Choose your words carefully

Before you say something, think carefully, put yourself in the place of that person. To comfort you in this situation? It is necessary to interest him, “hook” him for a wonderful future, tell him about what kind of person is waiting for changes and new good situations. Every woman, if she breaks up with her husband after many years together, feels oppression, and that her life is cut short. She does not see anything good in the future. And ordinary support will not help her, you should apply a special plan that will help you get out of the situation.

The phrase “Calm down, get together, everything will pass” is not worth saying, since there is no specific future in it. You can talk about the fact that at this age life is just beginning, that there are good moments ahead. At forty or fifty years old, with rich life experience, it is easier to find a life partner with whom you can create a strong and reliable family. Offer to go shopping, take a look at a beauty salon while shopping, restore beauty so that the abandoned wife feels like a princess again.

If a person's loved one has died, stay close to him, help organize the funeral. Very often they help a person to bring out of despair tasks and issues that need to be urgently resolved. Say that a friend's relatives need support. If you play the role of comforter, the friend himself will provide support and think about responsibility for his family.

The economic crisis affects not only prices and exchange rates, but also relationships. Like any difficult times, this is a test. Especially for the strong half, the breadwinner and breadwinner. How to support your husband if he has problems at work? How to support your man when he feels bad? How to support a man with words and affection? This is a special female art. No wonder they say that behind every Great Man is a Great Woman.

During a crisis, male businessmen restructure their business in a drastic way. There are many difficult decisions to be made. Salaried employees may be laid off. Prices are rising, incomes are shrinking, wages are delayed. Often men demand more of themselves than they are currently able to achieve. They think that they earn less than their labor costs. And the found work is unworthy of their ambitions. It is failures in career and finances that hit men's self-esteem and mood the most. Much more painful than it hits a woman's self-esteem.

But a man was brought up like this: you need to be strong, never give up and never cry. He is the backbone of the family. Therefore, he locks emotions in himself, not recognizing his experiences.

However, your man is neither Batman nor Superman. If he does not ask for help, it does not mean that he does not need support at all. Need. And how. Good female support. But it requires tact, wisdom and knowledge of male psychology.

Many women really want, but do not know how to support a man in a difficult situation. They sincerely try, but they manage to break a bunch of firewood and then they themselves will be upset. Therefore, I will give 6 ways of support that must be abandoned and 3 ways that will bring a real effect.

6 Ways You SHOULD NOT Support a Man

Ask a lot of questions."Everything is fine? Nothing wrong?" Persistent questions will only anger him. This woman cried, went shopping, poured out her feelings to her friend and calmed down. A man, on the other hand, closes himself from the world in order to deal with the problem one on one. Do not break through a closed door. The man is busy. He is looking for a solution. When he finds it, he will open it himself. However, he will appreciate if you let him know that you are ready to listen and support him.

Actively worry. For some women, such a change in a man begins to cause anxiety and anxiety. “What if he fell out of love with me? What if he has another one? What about our vacation plans? Sometimes a woman experiences even more than a man himself. And the situation is getting worse. Much more than your beloved will be supported by your calm confidence that he will cope with everything. So instead of worries and worries, go about your business.

Save a man. Don't wonder what can be done. Your words of comfort to him are like a red rag to a bull. Do not be your man's mother, protecting him from any misfortune. It is very important for a man that he solves his problems himself. The best thing you can do is to express confidence that he has enough strength, knowledge and talents for this.

Giving unsolicited advice. Even if you have brilliant solutions, do not rush to share them. A man perceives advice as your doubt in his abilities. He will become irritated and become even more distant. Give advice only if he asks.

Reproach."You yourself are to blame for everything." "You're incapable of anything." Reproaches, accusations, pillage are unlikely to inspire him to new achievements. He probably doesn't feel very successful anyway. Even if it doesn't show it. An extra reminder of mistakes that can no longer be corrected will drag him even more tightly into a quagmire of depression, take away some of the strength that he now needs so much.

Bury him with your problems. Your whims and whims, which touched him before, may now lose their effective force. Sometimes a man can gladly help his beloved woman, despite his difficulties. And it even inspire him. But still, do not strain him with your worries until there is no special need.

3 ways a man SHOULD be supported

Create a breeding ground for him. What does it take for a sprout to bloom? Plant it in good soil and expose it to the rays of the sun's warmth and light. So you surround a man with comfort, love and unobtrusive care. He must feel needed. Not for some achievement. And just like that. Give him a massage. Take his hand. Hug. The touch hormones at these times are essential in his body.

Feed Him Physically with Delicious Dinners. And sincerely - with impressions and interesting activities. Think about what gives him strength? Watching your favorite movie? Sex? Sport? Meetings with friends? Nature trips? Be his Muse.

However, leave enough space for him to express himself. If a man discusses his problems with you, draw his attention to the advantages and possibilities of his situation. This will be fertilizer for future shoots. For example, when a person loses his job, a very important resource is released - time. This means that there is a great opportunity to improve your competence, explore the market and find free niches. Support the man in this. Success in studies will raise the level of dopamine - the hormone of intelligence and achievement. And it will be easier for your missus to move forward!

Raise his self-esteem. When a man's self-esteem falls, testosterone, which is responsible for male strength and movement, also decreases. Some representatives of the stronger sex at such moments even break off relations. It seems to them that they will not be able to pull the service of this enterprise. Others take on a mistress to patch up their male ego. But the husband is unlikely to do this if he knows that at home he is respected and valued as a man, his merits and dignity are recognized. If a woman believes in him, even when he doubts himself, a man will grow with her and cherish such a relationship as a treasure.

And in order to raise male testosterone, you need to communicate with your loved one, nourishing his masculinity, be able to give compliments, celebrate successes and create situations where he feels at his best. Not all women are able to give a man a magical kick, fluffy and soft, but at the same time effective. Fortunately, this can be learned.

Support yourself. If a man is experiencing difficulties, he will give you fewer resources: love, attention, money, tours. And to support it, you will need more of your own resources than usual. How to be? Where to draw them? Inside yourself! The resource is provided by endorphins. And they are developed from positive thoughts and good mood. It is not so difficult to pump over an internal resource and always keep it at the level: there are special techniques. Just as a plant produces useful substances from sunlight during photosynthesis, so you, after our practices, will feel how your internal energy is seething. And when a woman is full of feminine energy and joy of life, then the man next to her involuntarily charges, straightens his shoulders and feels a fair wind in his sails.

It is impossible to remain indifferent during a difficult period in the life of a loved one. Anyone can be in a prolonged depression, it is important to become support in time and provide all kinds of help. Methods must be effective, and words must be convincing, only then the result will be maximum. What to do if you can’t find words and fall into a stupor at the sight of a suffering person? Do not panic and read the instructions carefully.

8 effective methods of supporting a person in difficult times

Being nearby
Stay in sight, keep your phone on, and be there for a friend 24 hours a day. Stay overnight, if necessary, devote all your free time to a loved one. Show the skills of Sherlock Holmes and identify the true cause of the experience, and then try to eradicate it.

Do not say memorized phrases that only make it worse: “you can handle it,” “time will put everything in its place,” and the like. Make it clear that you are support and support, so you will provide comprehensive assistance.

Distracting maneuvers
Distract the person in every possible way, even if you have to stand on your head or dance on the table. Now it is important to eradicate grief, which soon threatens to develop into a prolonged depression. Contribute to the return of a friend or relative to normal life at least for a few hours a day. Take a trip to a park, a movie theater, a photo exhibition, or a place where there are no people at all.

An excellent option would be home gatherings with pizza or rolls, another option for dishes is possible. Turn on modern comedy, but not with the effect of melodrama, turn up the volume and delve into it. Try to comment on the actions of the characters and change them in your own way. Be tactful, it would be inappropriate to invite to a nightclub where everyone around is drinking and having fun. Although you know better the preferences of a loved one.

Expression of emotions
You can't deal with strong emotions by keeping them deep inside. It is important to throw out all the pain, and you, as a friend, must help in this. Provide an opportunity to show the despair, resentment, disappointment and sadness that hurts the heart.

An improvement in the general condition, both physical and psychological, will occur only after the expression of a storm of feelings. There are times when in such situations a person closes. Provoke him with an appropriate conversation, but watch the reaction and don't overdo it.

Desire to speak out
The ability to listen is valued in the same way as the art of speaking. Listen to all the words of your opponent, do not interrupt. The story can be long and repeated several times, that's okay. Do not make remarks “You already told (a)” or “Stop repeating!”. If a friend does this, then it is necessary.

Take for granted everything that is said and happening, provide support, assent, if necessary. You don't have to sit and ponder who did the right thing and who didn't, or why it happened the way it did. Limit yourself to the use of monosyllabic phrases “yes, of course”, “of course”, “I understand”, “exactly noticed”.

Useful advice
After going through an emotional discharge and many hours of monologue, it is your time to speak. At this stage, share your own thoughts on this or that matter, be persuasive and do not question your words. Give similar examples from your life and tell how you coped with grief (if similar happened before).

Simulate the situation by putting yourself in the position of a friend. Being of sound mind, you have an undeniable advantage to use. Show concern and genuine concern for your emotional state. Perhaps the time has come to gently reason with the person about his erroneous actions and assumptions (if so).

Help
Offer to help around the apartment, do the cleaning and laundry. Pick up the kids from school, go to the store, pay the bills. Prepare or order a delicious dinner by buying a bottle of good wine. Surely you have an idea about the taste preferences of a loved one, play on it.

Of course, it will not be possible to restore the former balance in an instant, but you will clearly ease the situation. Help until the condition returns to normal and life returns to normal. It will take time, as always. This method is considered the most effective among all tested.

Assessment of the situation
It is important to understand the gravity of the situation, not to condemn or reproach. Perhaps a loved one will have unreasonable outbursts of anger, do not answer back. A mental storm makes people look at things differently, show indulgence and patience.

Do you see the absurdity of what is happening? Keep quiet, wait for a convenient moment to report it. Constant irritability is also common, take emotions with humor, turning everything into a joke. If you notice that you yourself are already on the verge, take a walk and gather your thoughts together.

A few steps ahead
Listen to your intuition, watch the reaction to actions and words. Judge by the situation and you will see progress. Do not use template methods, tears do not flow according to schedule. Be two steps ahead of a friend/relative, be always ready.

Man is a purely individual person. What works with one will fail with another. Empathy, constant attention, care - that's what really matters!

Everyone needs a solid shoulder of relatives during an illness. There are a number of recommendations developed specifically for this purpose.

Show love and make it clear that you value the person.
Prove that the disease did not affect your plans in any way, even if this is not true. It is important to show all the love and care, to make the patient feel needed.
Make plans to implement together after discharge. Arrange to go to the cinema or visit your favorite bar, work out several options for spending time together.
For those who are not seriously ill, buy an interesting present in a comic form, hinting at a speedy recovery.
If you are colleagues, repeat more often about boring workdays without your buddy. Share funny stories that happened during your absence.
Come to the hospital as often as possible. Share news, contact the patient for advice / help, ask for an opinion.
Bring backgammon, checkers or poker to the clinic, borrow a friend. Everyone knows how boring bed rest can be. Have fun together and play pranks on each other if the ailment is not serious.
Create a normal room from the ward (as far as possible). Bring personal items from home, place a vase of flowers, or set up the kitchen table with a tablecloth and normal cutlery. If there are no contraindications, order your favorite food, as it is a source of good mood. Who doesn't love delicious food?
Download some movies to your laptop or purchase an e-book to brighten up the patient's gray days when he is alone.
The above methods are mostly effective for people with mild illnesses, but how to support someone who is seriously ill?

Be there every day, put aside all your affairs and make it clear that now only the health of your loved one is important to you. Buy nice little things, make gifts with your own hands and reveal secrets. Ask for advice, cheer up and do not let the patient lose heart. If he wants to talk about an illness, keep the conversation going and be gentle.

Your loved ones need you in times of despair, grief and emotional distress. Rely solely on intuition, act according to the situation and show indulgence. Look for the right words of support, provide comprehensive assistance, use effective methods of distraction. Show all the love and care you can, be around as often as you can. You know your loved ones well, help them and goodness will return a hundredfold!

Video: words of support in difficult times

Sometimes supporting a person in difficult times means saving his life. Both close and unfamiliar people can find themselves in a difficult situation. Absolutely anyone can provide help and support - moral, physical or material. To do this, you need to know which phrases and actions are the most significant. Timely help and sincere words will help a person return to their previous way of life and survive what happened.

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Helping people in difficult situations

In a person's life, there are many situations in which psychological, moral and even physical help is required. In this case, the presence of people is necessary - relatives, friends, acquaintances or just strangers. The degree of intimacy and the duration of acquaintance does not matter.

To support a person, it is not necessary to have a special education, a sincere desire to help and a sense of tact are enough. After all, correctly chosen and sincere words can change a person’s attitude to the current situation.

How to learn to trust a man

Shared experience

How to cheer up a guy

Understanding

A person who finds himself in trouble should know that he is understood. It is very important during this period to have a like-minded person nearby. If the situation is related to the loss of a beloved man or job, remembering a personal example will be the most effective medicine. It is recommended to tell how hard it was during this period and how successfully it all ended in the end. But do not focus on your heroism and quick problem solving. You just need to say that everyone has such problems, and a friend will definitely cope with them too.

How to deal with anxiety

All will pass

You need to convince the person that you need to wait a bit, and it will become much easier. The realization that everything will be fine will create an atmosphere of security and peace.

Guilt

In a difficult moment, it is natural for a person to blame himself for all the troubles. He tries to shift responsibility for actions to which he has nothing to do. In this case, the task of close people is to dissuade a person from this. Try to refute all possible positive outcomes of the situation. If there is still a person’s fault in what happened, you need to try to make amends for it. It is recommended to find words that will help convince a person to ask for forgiveness, which is necessary for his own good.

Solution

A direct question will be very effective, how can a person be helped in this situation. You can offer your own solutions without waiting for his appeal. Sincere interest and taking action will make you feel supported.

In no case should you use the phrases: "forget", "do not worry", "do not cry", "it's even better." Attempts to “bring to life” with the help of screaming, accusations and sudden movements will not lead to anything. Such “help” can lead to a complication of the situation.

How to support the man you love

Representatives of the stronger sex try to restrain their emotions, so they most often close in on themselves. From this experience, they become even stronger, and a mental wound brings not only psychological experiences, but also physical pain. The girl at this moment should be as attentive and caring as possible, but in no case intrusive.

If a husband has problems at work, which are accompanied by material losses, it is necessary to say the most important words for a man: “Money cannot affect our relationship in any way. I will always be there." This should be said as calmly as possible, with a smile and tenderness. Excessive emotionality or nervousness will confirm the man's fears that the relationship is purely mercantile.

If the problems are related to relationships in the work team or relatives, an assurance that the girl is on the side of the guy would be appropriate here. He does not need to reproach himself and feel guilty. The beloved woman fully and completely shares his point of view and will do everything necessary for the successful resolution of the situation. It does not hurt to tell a man that he is strong and will definitely cope with problems. Self-esteem will not allow him not to justify the hopes placed on him. SMS with words of love or poems during the working day will cheer him up. An example of such a message:

Words of support for the woman you love

To help the woman you love, you should start with affection and tenderness, the essence of the problem does not matter. First of all, you need to hug her, kiss and calm her down. The most necessary at this moment will be the words: “Calm down, I am near and I love you. Trust me". Then you can continue to hug, drink tea and wait for complete calm. Only after that it is recommended to calmly sort out the situation, be sure to take the side of the beloved woman.

Assistance, both moral and physical, should be provided. You may have to talk with the offenders, sort things out, take some action. In a word - to shift part of the work on yourself. Feeling a strong male shoulder and real help, any girl will calm down, no matter how difficult the situation. A small gift, a trip to a restaurant or a theater will quickly bring her back to her old life. Phone calls during the day, SMS in the form of words of love and support in prose or poetry will be very appropriate. An example of such a message:

How to comfort a sick person

Support for a sick person can be provided in the form of words and actions. But this is not always possible, since people can be at a distance from each other.

Good words

The most valuable way to help a suffering person will be words of support. To calm the patient, you can:

Speak words of love. They must be repeated sincerely, with genuine participation. By voicing the phrase: “I love you very much and will always be there,” you can reassure a person, create an atmosphere of security.
To compliment. Sick people are very vulnerable, so they listen to every word and gesture of others. Remarks about the smallest changes in appearance for the better will sound like compliments. Even if these changes are not present, it is recommended to say about their presence. A sick person is not able to perceive reality objectively. With oncology, this will give the suffering person hope for a miracle; with a serious non-fatal illness, it will speed up recovery.
To praise. Praise a sick person should be for every little thing, even for a spoonful or a sip of water eaten. A positive attitude will contribute to a speedy recovery or alleviation of the patient's condition.
Keep at a distance. A phone call or Skype conversation would be appropriate. It is very important for the patient to hear a native voice, to see a familiar face. Further actions will be constant SMS, written poems, sent pictures and all those things that the patient likes. But the most significant will be the phrase: "I'm on my way."
Discuss abstract topics. It is worth moving away from boring topics and giving preference to light and fun ones. We must try to remember an interesting story, an anecdote, tell funny news. You can try to discuss neutral topics: a read book, a movie, a recipe for a dish - everything that will interest the patient at least a little.

Forbidden words

Some phrases can harm a sick person. Do not talk about the following topics:

Disease. You should not discuss the symptoms, look for their confirmation, give similar examples from the lives of people you know. The exception can only be happy cases of successful healing.
Friends reaction. It is not at all necessary for a sick person to know what kind of reaction his illness caused in others. If this touched someone, let him visit him personally (do not notify about this in advance, as the visit may break and the patient will be disappointed). A reasonable solution would be to simply say hello and tell the news about an acquaintance.
Personal impression. It is categorically not worth telling what reaction the disease caused in the helping person or nearby relatives. Trying to demonstrate your compassion, you can upset the patient even more, because he became the culprit of the experience and continues to torment his loved ones with his position.
Distance. If the terrible news about the illness of a loved one caught up far from him, the best solution would be to urgently hit the road. This must be informed. The solution of issues, negotiations with superiors regarding the departure and other problems should remain secret. The patient should not be aware of matters that may be more important than him. If it is not possible to come, then you can refer to the lack of tickets, non-flying weather and other factors. Here, a lie will be to the rescue, since waiting can prolong the patient's life.
A pity. If the disease is fatal, the pity of loved ones will constantly remind of this, causing a bad mood and deterioration in well-being. If the disease is not so serious, then there is a risk of its complications, because the patient will think that something is not being told to him. Sometimes the patient may have a reluctance to recover, as constant pity is addictive and even simulation.

Useful actions

Correct actions in relation to the patient contribute to recovery or can alleviate the course of the disease:

Care. Some patients need constant care because they cannot do anything on their own. But even if a person does not need enhanced care, attention and care will only benefit him. It would be appropriate to simply offer to lie down and make tea. A good help would be cleaning the apartment or cooking dinner. The main thing is to correctly assess the situation and help only if necessary. Do not forcibly remove the patient from his usual duties, persistently sending him to rest. Sometimes it’s enough just to be there and let them take care of themselves. This will allow a sick person to temporarily forget about his illness and feel needed.
Abstraction. It is useful to distract the patient from medical procedures and talk about pills. If a person has the ability to move around, it is necessary to persuade him to take a walk in the fresh air. You can visit some events, exhibitions, museums, creative evenings, etc. The changed appearance should not be a hindrance, the main task will be to convince the patient that now positive emotions are much more important than the perception of others.

Condolences after the death of a loved one

The irreparable loss of loved ones causes severe suffering, which a person cannot cope with without outside help. In order to provide the necessary support in a timely manner, it is recommended to familiarize yourself with the main phases of the emotional state in this situation:

Shock. It can last from several minutes to several weeks. The impossibility of perceiving reality is accompanied by a lack of control over emotions. Attacks can be accompanied by a violent manifestation of grief or complete inactivity with stone calmness and detachment. The person does not eat anything, does not sleep, does not talk and hardly moves. At this point, he needs psychological help. A reasonable decision would be to leave him alone, not to impose his care, not to try to force feed, water, start a conversation with him. You just need to be there, hug, take by the hand. It is important to carefully monitor the reaction. Do not start conversations on the topic: “if we had known earlier, we had time, etc.”. It is already impossible to return anything, so you should not provoke feelings of guilt. No need to talk about the deceased in the present tense, remember his torment. It is not recommended to make plans for the future: "everything is ahead, you will still have time, you will still find it, life goes on ...". It will be much better to help in organizing the funeral, cleaning, cooking.
Experience. This period ends after two months. At this time, a person is a little slow, poorly oriented, almost unable to concentrate, every extra word or gesture can burst into tears. The feeling of a lump in the throat and sad memories do not let you sleep, there is no appetite. Memories of the departed cause a feeling of guilt, idealization of the image of the deceased, or aggression towards him. During this period, you can support a person with kind words about the deceased. Such behavior will confirm a positive attitude towards the departed person and will become the basis for a common experience about his death. Do not give examples of other people who have experienced even greater grief. This will be perceived as tactless and disrespectful. Walks, simple activities, a simple release of emotions in the form of joint tears will be very effective. If a person wants to be alone, do not disturb him. In this case, you need to constantly be in touch, call or write messages.
Awareness. This phase tends to end a year after the loss. A person may still suffer, but he is already aware of the irreversibility of the situation. It gradually enters the usual mode, it becomes possible to concentrate on working moments or everyday problems. Attacks of unbearable mental pain visit less and less. During this period, he has almost returned to normal life, but the bitterness of loss is still present. Therefore, it is necessary to unobtrusively introduce him to new activities and recreation. This should be done as tactfully as possible. You should control your words and be sympathetic to possible deviations from his usual behavior.
Recovery. A person fully recovers one and a half years after the loss. The sharp pain is replaced by a quiet sadness. Memories are not always accompanied by tears, it becomes possible to control emotions. A person tries to take care of loved ones, now living people, but he still needs the help of a true friend.

If the described phases are delayed in time or do not come to change, it is necessary to urgently seek help from specialists. This condition is dangerous and fraught with the occurrence of serious diseases.

How not to get hurt

Sincere help has its own nuances. Help is needed, but within reasonable limits:

You need to help only if there is a sincere desire.
In the case of severe grief, you need to objectively assess your strengths. If they are not enough, you should involve friends or specialists.
Reserve the right to personal space, do not become a hostage to the situation.
Do not allow yourself to be manipulated at the slightest refusal to fulfill the request.
Do not sacrifice your interests, work, family happiness for the sake of comforting a friend.
When moral or material assistance is too long, it is necessary to tactfully talk with the person, explain that everything possible has already been done to overcome the difficult situation.

Timely assistance, a feeling of sincere compassion will help to return a person to his former life.

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