How to quickly put a child to sleep 3 months. How to put a baby to sleep without breastfeeding. The baby's sleep will be much stronger

16.10.2019

Barely having time to survive the joyful event of the birth of a baby, young parents begin to comprehend in practice the difficult science of putting the little man to sleep. This science requires not only remarkable patience and nerves of steel, as many people think, but also an appropriate attitude, caring attention, and creativity.

So how do you put your baby to sleep with minimal loss and maximum benefit for both parties? Let's start with the philosophical side of the issue.

For a long time, the science of raising children put the interests of parents at the forefront. The main goal of pedagogical efforts was a "comfortable" child who did not cause much trouble. Hence the emphasis on the regime, discipline and many prohibitive norms: do not allow, do not indulge, do not accustom, etc. However, over time, it turned out that "comfortable" children have a hard time in adult life, an abundance of prohibitions leads to a low level of emotional well-being of the child, and the lack of empathy, trust and acceptance among educators gives rise to a lot of problems in parent-child relationships at an older age.

Currently, more and more supporters in pedagogy, psychology and even medicine are acquiring an approach focused on the interests of the child. This is confirmed, in particular, by such examples as the "legalized" attachment of a child to the breast immediately after birth, the refusal to feed by the hour in favor of, the increasing use of "kangaroos" and slings instead of barred beds and playpens ... In general, individualized attitude towards the child, not as an object of educational influences, but as an active subject, starting from pregnancy.

If this child-centered approach is closer to you, then boldly discard all the “shoulds” and “shoulds” - we will think together.

Mother's bed or crib

Two arguments are mainly put forward against co-sleeping by mothers: it is not hygienic and the mother can accidentally crush the baby.

Without being a doctor, it is difficult to imagine what kind of terrible microbes that the baby did not have a chance to meet during pregnancy and childbirth are waiting for the child in his mother's bed.

Can a mother sleeping next to her pose a threat to a child? According to the theory of probability, such a possibility cannot be completely ruled out. At the same time, immediately after giving birth, a woman turns on such a strong maternal instinct that even through her sleep she hears the slightest sob or sigh of her child, not to mention his crying. Many mothers wake up with stiff arms and legs - they cannot move even in their sleep, not forgetting for a second about the presence of the baby.

What's good about that, you ask? Those who choose to sleep with a baby from the first days will tell you many advantages:

at night you do not need to get up to the baby; when he is around, he is easy to feed, easy to care for;
after eating, the child immediately falls asleep, and there is no risk that he will wake up if you try to shift him to the crib;
mom does not worry in vain: once you open your eyes and you can immediately see how the baby feels (by the way, those who are just expecting a baby should take care of a night light in advance - it will be very useful).

But the most important thing is that a baby who has just been born and is just beginning to adapt to the world around him is much calmer next to his mother. He feels his mother's smell, breath and warmth and does not feel lonely and abandoned. Mom's presence, her emotional participation in the experiences of the baby allow him to avoid the destructive effect of fear associated with his own helplessness.

If the mother does not want to part at night not only with the baby, but also with the father (who would be nice to get enough sleep), a compromise is also possible. It requires a separate room with a children's bed that can accommodate not only the baby, but also the mother. Of course, the bed must have a reliable fence that would allow you to leave the baby alone. For the first month or two, the mother can sleep with the child, and then gradually move to the father. You can start with the natural appearance of a night break in food lasting 5-6 hours. Having put the child to bed in the evening, mom can fall asleep with dad, and at the first call of the baby, come to him and stay until morning. If the baby sleeps peacefully, then the mother can come to him at night only for feeding, and if she falls asleep nearby, then no one will be offended.

So, whether or not to take the baby to your bed is up to you. Do what your maternal instinct tells you to do. In the end, as it will be calmer for the mother, it will be better for her baby.

"Nest"

In the last months of pregnancy, the baby got used to the cramped space of the uterus. We can say that it was his first cradle, in which it was very comfortable and calm. That is why newborns are afraid of open spaces, demonstrating a protective reflex to loss of support and signs of discomfort. But they feel good on their hands - you hug and protect them, just like the walls of the uterus until recently. Given this feature, it is worth putting the baby in a small cradle, stroller or wicker basket.

Such a simple device as a "nest" has also proven itself well. A small towel should be rolled up along the long side and wrapped in a diaper. The resulting tourniquet is laid out around the baby with a horseshoe, so that it fits snugly around his body and ends on both sides at neck level. In the "nest" babies sleep more peacefully even on a wide bed.

About rocking and motion sickness

It is generally accepted that rocking has a calming effect on children. It reminds them of that fertile time when their mother wore them in her tummy and swayed measuredly when walking. One way or another, but our distant ancestors actively used this feature, making rocking beds or hanging cradles from the ceiling of the dwelling. What's more, even some monkeys rock their babies. And what is curious, this behavior is not innate, but is acquired during the first days of motherhood.

However, the lulling of babies with the help of rocking has not only supporters, but also ardent opponents, who argue that rocking adversely affects the child’s fragile vestibular apparatus, intoxicates and leads to heavy sleep. Although in this case, apparently, we are talking about motion sickness. For example, I know a case where a family constantly practiced rocking a baby in a stroller, and with such intensity that the straps that ensure the rocking simply frayed and needed to be replaced.

When deciding for yourself the question of the acceptability of swinging, it will not be superfluous to recall common sense again: during pregnancy, women usually walk, but do not jump on a trampoline, and therefore it is clearly not worth abusing swinging. Walk with a restless baby around the apartment, shake him slightly, but do not try to reproduce the sea roll or the effect of air holes.

How to know when it's time

In the first weeks of life, the baby in the process of feeding smoothly goes to sleep. But gradually, between feeding and falling asleep, a gap begins to appear - a period of wakefulness. Do not be afraid of the first minutes of silent contemplation - your child has just grown up a little. And instead of desperate attempts to immediately put him to sleep, it is better to use this time for communication. Very soon, the baby will begin to smile and make funny sounds, at such moments it is all the more strange to complain that the child is not sleeping.

Rest assured, there are no children who do not sleep. This means that your child will definitely fall asleep when he spends enough energy and feels that it is time to replenish his strength. How to understand that the right moment has already arrived?

Over time, you will learn to identify this accurately, but for now, take into account the following possible signs: the child rubs his eyes, puts his head down, whimpers, or suddenly begins to cry. It does not matter if you hurry up once or twice - a baby who does not want to sleep is unlikely to fall asleep quickly. So if while listening lullaby he will suddenly open his eyes and begin to smile at you joyfully, it is better to postpone attempts to lull him and come up with a more interesting activity.

Notice the time that usually elapses between feeding and before the baby falls asleep. This can also be a good guide to start the laying procedure. Of course, it’s not necessary once at a time, but you set the approximate period of wakefulness for the baby for yourself.

Inner mood

The process of falling asleep a baby is greatly influenced by the inner mood and emotional state of the parents, and especially the mother. For example, a child’s falling asleep in the evening may be upset due to the fact that the mother is alarmed by something or, on the contrary, joyfully excited, say, in connection with the arrival of guests (even if the guests are behind a closed door in the next room). So do not be surprised if, despite all your efforts to lull the baby, you just can’t join the common feast. It is better to take the baby with you - having saturated with impressions and positive emotions, he will soon get tired, and then he will surely fall asleep. It doesn't matter if it happens half an hour later than usual.

What makes up the optimal internal mood?

First of all, don't panic! Even if the baby screams in the middle of the night, and you can’t calm him down in any way. Since God gave you a child, it means that he gave you the strength to cope with it.

In the psychology of motherhood, there is such a thing as an "adequate style of emotional support." It implies such behavior of the mother, in which she fully shares the positive emotions of her child. If the baby is experiencing fear, pain or anger, the task of the mother is completely opposite - to try not to fall into exactly the same state. Only mother's compassion, pity, self-confidence will help him survive the discomfort, instill confidence that difficulties can be overcome.

So, the more serious the reason why the baby does not sleep, the more emotional support he needs. He is very counting on you.

Don't rush things. As a rule, the speed of your baby falling asleep is inversely proportional to the strength of your desire to lull him. How can one not remember the well-aimed English proverb: the pot you stand over never boils. However, this folk wisdom also has a completely scientific confirmation: psychologists have long proved that an excess of motivation only interferes with any business. Therefore, try to distract yourself from the main goal - to immediately put the baby to sleep - and switch to some related processes.

For example, immediately set aside everything about all the time with a margin and convince yourself that you do not expect the baby to fall asleep earlier.

Come up with an intricate trajectory of passages around the apartment with a child in your arms and focus on its implementation.

Learn a few lullabies in advance and be sure to perform the entire repertoire. It’s very good if you manage to include a couple of folk songs in it - it will be a great occasion to reflect on the continuity of generations along the way, feel the breath of time and introduce the child to folk art.

And do not rush to give up singing lullabies due to lack of hearing or voice. First, lullabies are sung quietly; secondly, the motive can be arbitrary (the main thing is rather monotonous); and thirdly, after repeated daily rehearsals, you will simply be surprised at your suddenly discovered singing talents. And one more weighty argument. Not so long ago, scientists found that singing improves immunity and helps prevent respiratory diseases. So, do not be upset if, despite all your efforts, the child does not want to fall asleep, rejoice in the fact that he makes you healthier!

Love the process of putting your baby to bed. After all, if you think about it, it brings you closer to him and awakens maternal feelings no less than breastfeeding, which is talked about so much. Children grow up fast. Not only others, but also their own. Before you have time to look back, you will remember with surprise and nostalgia that once your child was just a baby. Enjoy it now. It's so wonderful when a little man falls asleep in your arms, and it seems that the whole world is quiet...

Ingenuity and flexibility

It's no secret what to put baby sleeping is not so easy, even though all the signs of his sleepy state are evident. If the patience and perseverance of the parents is not enough, then a creative approach is needed.

For example, mom and dad of one restless baby successfully practiced this method of night sleep: they lay down on the bed, put a large pillow on their knees, and the baby on the pillow, and dozed off, shaking the child with their legs at the first sob. I don’t think that this option is acceptable to everyone, but I’m sure that any parent can find a reasonable compromise with their own baby.

Try to experiment with the position of the child first. For example, take him in your arms sideways so that his tummy is pressed against your stomach, and his head rests on your arm bent at the elbow. Maybe he'll fall asleep faster that way. If you have trouble laying down a sleeping baby, try laying him on his side, so you can walk outside. From three months, you can put the child in a stroller on his stomach, if you can provide him with a sufficient overview. Tired of looking at everything around and holding his head, he will eventually put it down and, most likely, fall asleep in this position. If the baby sleeps restlessly in the morning and moves his arms in his sleep, try also turning him over on his stomach.

Closer to six months, the baby may like to sleep, lying on the chest of his father or mother. In this position, both parents rest, and the child can be stroked on the back, and, if necessary, slightly shaken. And when the baby falls asleep soundly, it is easy enough to put him next to him, lowering his legs first, and then the upper body.

Sometimes children prefer to fall asleep on their mother's hand or a soft hill of a blanket.

Discussion

03/15/2018 07:45:43 PM, lampstory

I don’t understand something: so what’s the problem with sleeping in three “mom-dad-masya”? we practiced this event up to 3.5 months. Until Masya became quite big and began to take up more space than mom and dad :) Yes, even now (we are 5 months old) we sometimes fall asleep three of us. And the scary stories about "crushed", "strangled" ... I don't know: I have a very light sleep, and we get along warmly without blankets.
I was also amused by the phrase that by six months, babies love to sleep on their chests :) We practiced this for up to 3 months ... well, that is. while they could. And then with an 8-9 kg baby you won’t sleep much on yourself (you can’t breathe there :))

03/28/2009 20:29:08, Mira159

Thank you for the article. Everything was almost like this with my eldest daughter: both in her arms and on demand - after a year she herself refused to breastfeed and went to sleep in her bed. In the mode, they didn’t particularly bother either - hang out a little longer - she gets tired herself. But now, when the second child (1.2 years old) has become more difficult: the older one’s schedule is tied to the kindergarten, which means you have to pack on time, get up early (I myself hardly get up at 7, especially after a sleepless night - the younger one sleeps badly - wakes up 4 to 10 times a night). Therefore, the option "to put the older one to bed and still play with the younger one until she gets tired" does not work - at 21 I myself fall off my feet: there is only one thought - to put it to bed as soon as possible. During the day I try to play and caress as much as possible, and feed and drink so that I don’t wake up from thirst or hunger, but ... it fits quickly, 15 minutes and sleeps, half an hour or an hour passes - suddenly wakes up with tears - I take it in my arms , after a while he falls asleep again, after an hour everything repeats, if a couple of times - God bless him! but not 10 times a night..! So I'm looking for reasons, maybe someone has a similar situation?

22.11.2008 13:34:27, Anastasia

The child is 2 years old and 4 months old. She fell asleep and then transferred to the baby bed. In the middle of the night, constant waking up after 2-3 hours of sleep, he himself is almost asleep or with his eyes closed, but points to the stroller, rock it again, shake it for an hour, he sleeps again, goes back to bed. It torments you so much at night, there is no strength during the day. How to wean from the stroller? Can anyone share their experience in this situation? [email protected]

10/29/2006 10:08:59 PM, Kira

In general, it’s also easier for me, of course, to keep my son at my side and give breasts at the first squeak. He doesn't wake up, and neither do I. It is especially convenient when there are four of you in the same room, two of which get up for work and in the garden. I only sleep, curled up at the feet of my men, because otherwise we interfere with each other: ((I slept sitting down yesterday. I looked longingly at the clock and waited for the morning for my husband to wake up and I lay down in his place. We are thinking about a couch on the floor. And it became completely impossible to put in a crib - for a maximum of 2 minutes:

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMMENTS AND RATES! :-)

12/15/2004 13:15:06, Olga Gorbenko

A three-month-old girl died at my mother's employee. I slept with my parents, suffocated under the covers. Before that, I had nothing against co-sleeping and was also confident in the maternal instinct. With the eldest child (2.5 years) we still sleep together. But the youngest - NOT FOR ANYTHING!
By the way, no problems with falling asleep - mmm.

05.11.2004 22:43:31, jul

We are almost three, but I remember the old days well.
Yes, the child slept with me until almost 2 years old (we fed until 2.4). Oh God!" - the first month she slept on me, lined with pillows. No problem. We had a wonderful sleep - although I had heard about the torments of girlfriends whose children slept in the crib: feed, shift, rock to sleep. In our case, it was to feed and continue to sleep, well, after 6 months. take out the wet diaper from under the buttocks and put the dry one on. Moreover, I couldn't sleep without it. She got into her bed with no problems. My daughter often fell asleep in her arms, carried, rocked (there was a period) - we can sit on a swing for an hour - she won’t vomit, with carousels too, at 2 years old, spreading her arms, she walked along the curb alone and didn’t fall, incl. vestibule apparatus like an astronaut.
We fed on demand, hung out from the first day already a month old in my mother’s arms, even when I was preparing dinner, the bed turned out to be thrown away money, we didn’t have a playpen (even the thought didn’t come to buy). True, we didn’t sit in a kangaroo either - we still preferred pens, we were always present in community on someone’s hands (now, on the other hand, my hands are very strong). At 4 months crawled on the laid out sofa, at 6 we slid down to the floor. We still go to bed with my mother, but it doesn’t bother me: we read and sing lullabies (now together), hug and sleep. The whole process takes from 15 rarely to 30 minutes.
In general, we are strange parents: we didn’t swaddle, we didn’t take off our bonnet at home, we walked in any weather, we allowed (and still allow) to mess around in the mud and puddles, at 1.4 we moved from the stroller to my mother on a bike (into a set seat) - so much walking more interesting, you can go to many places for a walk, and again you breathe fresh air.
Maybe, of course, we are somewhere wrong, but I think when the second baby is born, I will do everything the same way.
and the article is good, I think it will help many young mothers to decide.

10/28/2004 11:52:54 AM, b/f

We didn't have that problem at all. From birth, the baby sleeps all night without waking up. And when on GV, and now. Somehow, by itself, they put her in a crib (I don’t know, for some reason the idea didn’t come to my mind to put her to myself, and the three of us were cramped) and she feels comfortable there. (Before going to bed, I rock her in my arms, and I know for sure that I myself taught her to do this, because at first it wasn’t required either, they calmly fell asleep at the sissy) And in the morning I take her to my bed to sleep "like dad" (in the sense - in his place). Here, of course, the dream ended: you need to touch your mother’s face, study the surroundings, etc. But, of course, if something bothers you and the night is sleepless, then dad is sent to the living room on the sofa.

I couldn't sleep without a baby. I couldn't put Sasha to the crib. We sleep together until now (we are 14 months old) and breastfeed. Everything is easy and without fatigue. It suited us, but all mothers and children are different. The main thing is to know that you can sleep together and separately, and find what suits a particular family best.

Just like it is written about us))) We don’t sleep in the crib, we don’t want to, I can’t tune in to the fact that the process of falling asleep will be long, I want to hurry up, and as a result, the process is delayed. But during the day, when I'm busy, Dasha can poop in a stroller or crib (after feeding, of course) and fall asleep !! Itself for 1.5 hours!!... Can I also find classes at night?)) In any case, the article helped me at least see the problems that I consider problems)) Thank you.

I just can't sleep with a baby. In the evening I put him in bed, and in the morning I took him to me. And this morning I practically did not sleep, I looked at him all the time, I was afraid to turn around, move. It was more painful for me to get up to him at night than to keep him at my place.

“Many mothers wake up with stiff arms and legs - they can’t move even in a dream, not forgetting for a second about the presence of the baby” - that's for sure. When we sleep together, my hands and neck suffer a lot.
And yet, even when the child sleeps separately, I am always "on the alert." Somehow my husband quickly turned over in bed, so I raised a cry that he would crush the child! The poor husband almost had a heart attack ... And the child peacefully snoozing in his bed :)))

Probably, many parents are familiar with the situation: before going to bed, their child becomes restless and capricious, he has a huge number of important things to do, suddenly he wants to drink / eat / potty. Sooner or later, it becomes clear that with the help of these tricks, the baby delays sleep time. Sometimes the situation is even worse - the baby openly protests against laying down, throwing terrible tantrums. Parents are lost, not knowing how to do the right thing.

In fact, there are many explanations for the problem with falling asleep in a baby at the age of 2-3 years. Having understood them, you can easily find ways to put your child to sleep without tears.

Why does a young child not want to go to bed?

Most often, parents are confronted with a protest against laying down exactly when the baby is two or three years old. After all, it is at this age that significant changes in the psyche of the child fall. After all, in order for the baby to sleep peacefully, it was only necessary that he be healthy, dry and full. Compliance with the daily ritual, a relaxing warm bath, evening feeding and mother's warm hugs in most cases did the trick. At two or three years, the crumbs have a number of objective and subjective reasons not to sleep:

At two or three years old, the child is already an independent, full-fledged personality. Every second he learns the world around him, learns something new. The baby's brain, like a sponge, has to absorb information in huge quantities. Is there enough waking time to “digest” it? Considering that for a young child, the sleep rate is 12-14 hours a day, the answer is obvious. By the quiet hour or the moment of falling asleep at night, the baby may be too excited or overtired, which is why he cannot fall asleep and throws a tantrum.
At the age of two or three, the baby, as a rule, is already weaned. Parents often consider him old enough to stay with his grandparents, other relatives, and a nanny more often. At this time, many kids go to kindergarten. They spend too much time without mom and dad. Falling asleep for them is another parting that children are afraid of, against which they actively protest.
Weaning/pacifiers. Sucking often helped a child under one year old to fall asleep. After a year, he experiences stress, ceasing to receive a breast or a dummy. He needs not only to fall asleep, but also to fight the sucking reflex, which physiologically fades away in three or four years.
The life of a three-year-old is exciting, every day he has a huge number of interesting things to do. If any of them should be interrupted for sleep, the baby expresses his dissatisfaction with crying and tantrums.
Children of this age group guess or clearly know that after they fall asleep, the life of adults continues. It seems to them illogical and unfair. If you need to go to bed, then everyone. Why do adults have more rights?
Unwillingness to sleep can be a manifestation of an age crisis. At three years old, a child often wants to do everything in his own way, contrary to the opinions of adults. In this way, he proves his independence, adulthood. In this case, persuasion and coercion will have the opposite result. You need to look for an approach to the child in order to put him to sleep.

In no case should you think that if a child is hysterical, crying or using other tricks to stay awake, he is bad and naughty. It is necessary to realize that it is bad for him too, and also to take measures to help him fall asleep peacefully.

How to help a child of two or three years to fall asleep without tears and tantrums

It should be noted that there is no such technique by which you can immediately send the child to sleep. Sleeping peacefully is a purposeful, long-term work of his parents.

Whatever the reason for the child's reluctance to go to bed, there are general recommendations for parents:

It is necessary to observe the norm of sleep. And these are the above 12-14 hours (2 during the day and 10-12 at night).
The child must live according to the regime. Wake up, go to "quiet time" and fall asleep in the evening at exactly the same time, walk and take - about the same day after day. It is necessary to plan the daily routine in such a way that active games and developmental activities take place at least two to three hours before bedtime. Falling asleep should not be late. Experts believe that a baby of 2-3 years old should be put to bed at 20.00-21.00, no later. If the daily routine is built correctly, by this time he will feel tired, but not overworked.
The ritual preceding sleep is not cancelled. In the one that the child had up to a year, only some changes are made. Sleep should be preceded by a meal, a walk (or a quiet game when the weather does not allow walking), a warm bath, a glass of milk or kefir, dressing in night clothes, reading or telling fairy tales. Watching TV before bed is not recommended.

Parents are also faced with the task of identifying the cause of unwillingness to sleep and try to solve it:

If the child does not want to go to bed because he is afraid of parting with loved ones, you need to help him overcome his fear. Starting with being next to the baby at the time of falling asleep and up to the organization of joint sleep. This problem is exclusively age-related, soon the baby will outgrow it.
It is known that in order to overcome one habit, you need to cultivate another. Instead of a breast or a dummy, a glass of warm milk and a few pieces of biscuit cookies can become a "harbinger" of falling asleep.
You can not interrupt the activity of the baby to put him to bed. If it has already happened that the baby is out of schedule and played before going to bed, you need to let him finish what he started. During the game, you should repeat to the child several times that he will soon have to go to bed.
Even if the wakefulness of the child is delayed for some reason, the ritual of going to bed cannot be canceled. You can shorten it a little: instead of a bath - a shower, instead of a fairy tale - a lullaby.
You can go for a little trick and make the child think that everyone falls asleep with him. And when the baby is already sniffing sweetly, return to your usual activities. Although, earlier falling asleep for adults does not hurt.
If the unwillingness to sleep is an open protest against the words of adults, in no case should you force the baby to bed. But letting the situation take its course is also not worth it: having missed the time to fall asleep, the little one will overwork, it is unlikely that the night will be calm. You need to calmly explain to him why you need to sleep, and organize his day so that he himself feels an irresistible desire to sleep. Some intractable three-year-olds can be persuaded by setting them up for something interesting tomorrow. And this very tomorrow will come faster if you fall asleep.

In response to children's bedtime tantrums, parents should be calm and consistent, trying different ways to put him to bed. Surely, very soon the most suitable one will be found, and the baby will sniffle in a cozy bed without difficulty and spoiled nerves.

Video

Rules of children's sleep - School of Dr. Komarovsky

It would be great if we could sleep like that ourselves, right?

But it turns out that infant sleep is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. In the first three months, it is very different from the sleep that a person will sleep for the rest of his life. Newborns sleep anywhere and sleep between twelve and eighteen hours a day. But it is not continuous. The rhythm of the life of a newborn is determined by the small capacity of the stomach and the constant need for nutrients that ensure rapid growth. Therefore, the life of the baby will consist of three to four hour cycles of feeding, wakefulness and sleep. Like it or not, in the first few weeks, two or three feedings will be at night.

The way a newborn's brain works during sleep is unique. Our sleep consists of two alternating phases - fast (active) and slow (deep). During the fast phase, we dream, as evidenced by the movements of the eyes, and often other parts of the body. In addition, if it is cold in bed, if the bladder is full, if it is noisy around, we can shudder, roll over from side to side, push, wake up. Slow-wave sleep, during which we dream almost nothing, successively passes through light deep and very deep phases. At the same time, we move much less, breathe deeper and slower, our muscles are as relaxed as possible. Adults sleep about one-fourth of their total sleep in active sleep, and the remaining time in deep sleep.

Newborns also sleep in two types of sleep, but each of them is equally divided - different phases replace each other in about thirty minutes. During slow wave sleep, they are relaxed, breathe evenly and move very little. When REM sleep sets in, babies seem to “come to life” because they begin to move their arms and legs, change facial expressions, breathe less evenly, and make various sounds. They may have their first dreams in their lives.

In adults and children older than three months, the onset of REM sleep is preceded by non-REM sleep, which gradually becomes deeper. But in newborns, everything is different: first comes active sleep, which is replaced by deep sleep. As a result, a child who has just fallen asleep is easily awakened.

That's why parents sometimes feel like they're dealing with a short fuse bomb. A fed, dry and obviously tired child, for unknown reasons, is awake, nervous and deigns to fall asleep only after being carried and rocked for a long time. But as he is carefully placed in his crib, he suddenly opens his eyes and starts yelling like a fire siren. And this is repeated again and again until everyone, including the child, is filled with despair. The problem here is that the baby did not go through the initial REM phase: the baby woke up during it, because his sleep was not deep. Usually by the age of three months, when the order of the phases changes, this problem is solved by itself.

How to help your child fall asleep

For parents who don't want to wait twelve whole weeks for their sleep phases to reverse, there are two ways to help your child fall asleep. These methods differ greatly, and each of them has its own advocates, who tend to believe that it is their beliefs that are vital for both children and parents, and the ideas of opponents are harmful and lead to the fact that children become restless. In reality, both of them have something to offer the world, but no way will make absolutely all children and parents happy.

According to the first approach, parents should be in the most direct contact with the child during the different phases of his sleep. The child must be fed, carried in his arms, rocked and be around until he falls asleep and sleeps for at least twenty minutes. Then he should be quietly placed where he usually sleeps, say, on his mother's or father's bed. The main benefit of this method is that it helps the infant navigate naps and REM sleep comfortably and safely with one or both of the parents. Supporters of this approach claim that it is useful for the baby to feel the warmth emanating from the mother's body, from which he recently left.

Opponents object: a child can get so used to activities that help him fall asleep that he then will not fall asleep on his own for several months, or even years. And then both night and daytime sleep of the child will become a problem, and parents (or those people who will sit with the baby) are threatened with continued fuss with feeding and motion sickness, even when the baby starts walking.

Adherents of the second approach believe that the child can and should be taught to calm himself and fall asleep without anyone's help. You should not feed him right before bedtime: breast or bottle should be given 30-60 minutes before bedtime, and then put the baby in the crib. He will lie awake for 15-20 minutes and may even start roaring, but then he will calm down and, left alone, will eventually fall asleep. Advocates of the self-calm approach say that it will save the mother and father from the long effort of lulling the child, and allow him to become more calm and not depend on the presence of someone near him. Critics object, saying that leaving such a small child alone in a crib is cruel and unnatural. Some even believe that a child deprived of parental intimacy will later suffer from a sleep disorder (or even worse).

You may breathe a sigh of relief to learn that none of these approaches are legislated. So you can choose any, adapting to the unique temperament of your child, to his style of behavior, and to your (and family's) needs and requirements. Whatever you do now, things will be different in the future. What worked well with the first child may not work with the second, and what works so well this month may not work next. When dealing with a newborn or a very young child, a fair amount of "accommodation" and pragmatism is not only reasonable, but necessary. “Let's see if this helps us” is a much more reasonable approach than “we definitely need to do this.” The only exceptions are the most basic rules that ensure the safety of the child.

Most babies let you know that they are ready to sleep. Different children do it differently: they yawn, act up, their eyes become sleepy ... And you, of course, want to know what means your child prefers. If you notice these signs in him, put the baby to bed, taking care of the silence and dimming the lights in the room. If after 15-20 minutes you realize that the child does not feel happy and satisfied, go up to him and check what's wrong. Knowing that he is full and has dry diapers, stay with him for a while, and then try leaving him again. If your baby does not want to be left alone, especially in the first few weeks of life, do not try to "educate" him by letting him cry for a long time. During the first few months, for a variety of reasons, it is unwise to let the baby cry for a long time (even if it seems to you that everything is fine with him) and not to approach him. Children of this age cannot be "spoiled" by attention to their needs.

If you need to help your child fall asleep quietly, then try the following time-tested methods:

Breastfeeding (or bottle feeding if you're giving your baby formula) can help induce sleep, especially towards the end of the day. However, don't go overboard with formula, or worse, don't introduce solid foods like porridge at this age, hoping the baby will sleep longer. An overloaded stomach will interfere with sleep just like an empty one. Solid food is not suitable at this age, and it does not prolong sleep; Never put your baby to bed with a bottle. He can not only choke, but also get an ear infection if the milk gets into the Eustachian tube (which leads to the middle ear).
Carrying and gently rocking will soothe both of you. If it helps, relax and enjoy the activity. A very good tool is a rocking chair in which you can sit with your baby.
An alternative to a rocking chair is a cradle (rocking bed) or a cradle ("nest" suspended on special holders), but they must be selected specifically for children of this age.
Many young children calm down more easily if they are wrapped in a light blanket more comfortably.
Quiet sounds, such as the whirring of a small fan (not directed at the baby) using a white noise device, or the sound of the ocean recorded on a cassette or CD, can soothe your baby and drown out other sounds in your home. For "music lovers" there are special collections of lullabies, quiet classical music 4 or church hymns, which often calm an excited baby.
A gentle touch, patting, or massage will soothe a baby who seems sleepy in your arms, but starts to act up in the crib.
Many children fall asleep if they get motion sick in a moving car. Sometimes a desperate parent, after suffering with a restless baby for a good part of the night, picks him up and goes on a car trip at three in the morning, but this does not guarantee that the child will not wake up as soon as the car stops. Since traveling at night is not very fun, especially in the dead of winter, some companies offer a special device that imitates the movement of a car, which is attached to a crib. You yourself understand that you can resort to these methods only as a last resort, if you are dealing with an ardent opponent of sleep.

All of the above, with the possible exception of organizing quiet sounds and wrapping in a blanket, requires some effort from parents. It should also be borne in mind that sometimes long rocking, stroking, patting and singing have the opposite effect and prevent the child from falling asleep, because all that was required to fall asleep was to be left alone. If a few weeks of your heroic behavior aimed at ensuring that the child falls asleep normally does not give the expected result, then it may make sense to turn to the theory of “calm yourself down”. If you decide to put it into practice, then the following steps can help you (they should be taken when you put the child to bed, but he has not yet fallen asleep).

Bring the baby's hand to his mouth. Many children quickly calm down when they suck their fingers.
Observe what objects attract the child's eye, and place them in his field of vision. It can be a one-color toy, a small unbreakable mirror in his crib, a nearby window or a nightlight. Complex visual objects, say, "mobiles" (bright hanging moving toys), are not suitable for this purpose in the first weeks, especially if the child is very tired.
Make sure the sleeping baby is on their back.

There is a chance to sleep through the night

Usually in the first weeks of life, newborns do not sleep for a long time. In addition, they do not distinguish between night and day. But by two months, babies can already exist without food for longer than in the first days. And most parents are destined to know how strong the heart beats when, waking up at dawn, you suddenly realize that the baby has never reminded of his presence all night. "What about him?" - the first thing that comes to mind. and then breath-taking fear gives way to relief and quiet delight: “He slept all night long!”

By three months, to the great joy of parents, most children begin to sleep every night for seven to eight hours without a break. But for some, this achievement is not given so soon. Some people move in the wrong direction at first, sleeping peacefully for most of the day, and then abruptly open their eyes and begin to actively live and worry just when tired parents long for a break. If your little one is determined to walk all the wee hours, then you will want to carefully but decisively set him on the right path.

Try to make sure that during the day the child does not sleep for too long. Do not let him fall asleep during or immediately after eating, but on the contrary, wake him up. Talk to him, sing a song, change clothes, play with his arms and legs, stroke his back or let his grandmother yell with him. At the same time, do not make loud noises and under no circumstances shake the baby. (Sharp and sudden movements of the head can harm the brain.) Let him stay awake for a while after feeding, and only then let him fall asleep. It will also keep him from falling asleep only after eating.
If a child sleeps for a long time during the day, and sleeps little and restlessly at night, think: if he has already managed to sleep during the day for a total of more than three or four hours, then maybe you should wake him up in the daytime in the phase of active sleep?
Do so. so that the night time, when the child does not sleep, turns out to be as boring as possible for him. This is especially true for feeding. Dim the lights, keep conversations to a minimum, and change diapers (if necessary) in a businesslike manner. Night is not the time for entertainment.
Remember that during REM sleep, babies often fidget, grunt, and even seem to wake up momentarily. Try your best not to disturb the baby at this time, because, without knowing it, you can wake him up at the very moment when sleep goes into a deep phase. This will require you to make some changes in your own sleep pattern.
If your baby tends to wake up at dawn, and you do not want to keep him company; try hanging blinds or blackout curtains to keep the sun out. Do not think that the fuss in the crib necessarily means that the child has woken up completely. Wait a bit before paying attention to him, because he may fall asleep again. But if, despite all your efforts, the baby still wakes up with the first roosters, then you may want to adapt to his regimen for several months by building your daily routine in accordance with the advice of the poet Samuil Marshak: “Early to bed - get up early".

This post will be devoted to the most important occupation in the life of any mother - no, not raising or even feeding a child. The post is dedicated to sleep, primarily to the sleep of the baby, and indirectly to mothers, of course.

Sleep for novice mothers is everything, this is life, and paradise, and happiness, and space. Yes, that's all. At least, I had it all, or rather it didn’t exist, but I really tried to recreate it and subdue it. Especially the sleep of a child. My sleep, on the other hand, succumbed to submission quite easily: I could fall asleep and wake up in absolutely unthinkable positions. But, of course, it's too early for me to judge. My child is only a year old and we still sometimes cry at night on special holidays. In general, you are not allowed to relax, however, I think I can help highlight a few individual ways / tricks / tricks that will help you put your child to sleep.

1. The first, easiest way to put the baby to sleep is breast / bottle / nipple. Here, I think, words will be superfluous.

But not always, or even very rarely, at the peak of the tantrum, the child agrees to suck. Our moments of hysteria were always connected (according to doctors): with teeth, with colic, with overexcitability. And to be honest, there were plenty of those moments.

2. Therefore, the next way to put the baby to bed without a pacifier/breast is motion sickness. Here you can stop in more detail, since there can be a bunch of types of motion sickness. In our case, all motion sickness had to be carried out strictly in a standing position, so that the child knew that no one was going to put him to sleep. Therefore, we turn on the imagination and music louder, arranging ritual dances with a baby on his shoulder. There may be variations further: we swing while sitting in bed with the baby in our arms / legs with a pillow / on our stomach. I know perfectly well about the obvious harm of motion sickness, but I think that the coefficient of benefit of a restful sleep of a baby still exceeds the coefficient of harm from the same motion sickness.

3. One of the most effective ways for a child who suffers from colic and cannot fall asleep is a sling. In my situation, he was a real salvation until 6 months (after 6 months, the child became much calmer, and the sling was thrown into the back of the wardrobe as unnecessary). I adapted myself to put the baby in a sling without anyone's help. At first, the child screamed, but I turned on loud fast music again (oddly enough, we didn’t fall asleep to slow music) and began my peppy almost belly dance. It took 3 minutes - and vu-a-la the child is sleeping, and I can do almost anything - go to the store, and cook, and tidy up, and relax.

4. An equally effective way to put children to bed under 6 months old is outdoor activities. As soon as my daughter began to smell the street air, she fell silent and I, not having time to reach the next entrance, noticed that the child in the stroller had quieted down and was already sleeping, which gave me some free time for browsing or just reading in the fresh air.

5. The fifth way, more appropriate for children after 6 months, is, of course, finger food. We tried this method on ourselves when Lyazzat was one year old, and we weaned her from breastfeeding. The child calmed down greatly, knowing that in his hands he had an object whose pleasant taste qualities were well known to him. Here your imagination can run wild: a cookie, a piece of apple without a peel, a piece of banana (beware of very dirty consequences), meat, kazy, bread, etc. The main thing is to consider the texture of the food so that a child who does not have enough teeth does not choke. Our daughter mostly calmed down, as soon as we put an edible object in her hands, most often it did not reach the sampling. But it also happened that the daughter in the middle of a noisy fashion store sniffed, holding a piece of boiled horse meat in her teeth. So there is no limit to your fantasies.

6. The most harmful way to lull an adult baby who does not recognize titi and nipples is to watch photos or videos on a cell phone / cartoons / games together. The baby quickly calms down and falls asleep to the monotonous sounds. About the harm of cartoons / cell phones / tablets, I think, it’s not worth talking about: vision, nervous system, addiction. Do not abuse, but it is desirable not to start.

7. The ideal way to put the baby to bed is to read books together / look at pictures in books / expressive poetry reading. There are many pluses - accustoming to books is only for the benefit of the little reader, besides, mother almost does not spend her already meager energy (not counting turning over the sheets): the child lies at her mother's side, mother reads poems, pointing fingers at color pictures - grace !

8. Another way that is not very convenient for both parents and children is a car trip. My daughter fell asleep quickly as soon as she was placed in a car seat (a must!), so I often planned my affairs at lunchtime during Lyazzat's afternoon nap.

9. There are some more tricks that will only allow you to calm down and not always lull a raging child to sleep - looking at the street from the window, barking a dog or mentioning dogs, pets, people who are familiar to the baby. For example, we often fell asleep while talking about "the dog fell asleep, the cat fell asleep, the bunny fell asleep, dad fell asleep, and mom fell asleep, and it's time for you to sleep ..."

10. Music as a free application to almost all methods can be singled out in a separate item. The main thing here is to consider how familiar this or that melody is to the child. It's embarrassing to admit, but our daughter's favorite song is the same gangnam style we hate. Honestly, we ourselves did not understand how this happened, but as soon as Lyazzat hears the first tunes, her face breaks into a smile, and the recent hysteria is forgotten. And until now, if a child is overcome by an inconsolable cry, we turn on this melody - and the whole family enjoys the silence.

11. The most effective way that really works is ignoring. It doesn't work for everyone and doesn't always work. But they write a lot and talk about what it takes to leave a child alone with his sleep - he falls asleep. The first time is longer, subsequent times are faster. Honestly, I didn’t succeed, but I believe that this method helps many parents and children fall asleep.

I can not recommend any of the methods, since you always need to know the true cause of crying, which is not always possible. Therefore, these tips are only for children who really want to sleep. Each child is unique in their own way, and these tips do not encourage moms to follow them unquestioningly. Consider the characteristics of your child and do not forget about precautionary measures. A thousand good nights to you!