How to get rid of strong attachment to a person. How to get rid of attachment to a person. What kind of attachment is there
Very often, on women's websites and psychological forums, you can stumble upon a discussion of the following problem - “ i get attached to people very quickly, how can I cope with this problem?»Many readers and visitors of thematic sites have a reasonable question: why is attachment a problem and why people are so eager to get rid of this, in general, not a bad feeling.
The explanation lies in the approach to the concept of attachment - in principle, it is normal to feel sympathy for other people, it is abnormal to adhere to them, to become addicted to them like a drug, to experience painful experiences and deep stress in their absence.
When a healthy hobby turns into a disease, and why we sometimes get attached to people who are essentially strangers - let's discuss in detail.
Healthy and unhealthy attachment concepts
The manifestation of sympathy is normal and characteristic of all people in love and loving people. We all, in one way or another, become attached to those whom we value, those who are included in our circle of trust, make up our family and our small individual world. It is the feeling of connection and closeness with each other that is the basis for maintaining all relationships, and in this vein, the feeling of attachment is the norm.
But the topic of our discussion will not be such a kind and deep sympathy, but a feeling of complete dependence on another person, or, in other words, painful attachment. What is it and why is it impossible to attach to people in this way?
Painful attraction to another person manifests itself primarily in complete dependence: you cannot live a day without him, you need to see him, hear, constantly talk with him or about him. You completely forget about your affairs or do your duties carelessly, and if the object of your passion does not notice you, you are ready to die of melancholy and pain. If you are experiencing the above gamut of feelings, it means that you are literally obsessed with attachment and you urgently need psychological help.
Someone may argue that a person can experience all such emotions by being simply very much in love with someone. This delusion and love from attachment is as different as heaven from earth.
Love or addiction - how to figure it out
We have already said that there are different types of attachment - normal sympathy and painful addiction. The difference between these two psychological states is cardinal: sympathy often develops into a feeling of love, but dependence turns either into complete obsession (fanaticism) or turns into hatred of the object of past passion. Both have an equally destructive effect on the human psyche, therefore, one should strive to get rid of this type of hobby as soon as possible.
How do you learn to distinguish love from obsession? It's very simple - love is a bright feeling, it has more desire to give than to take, love cannot be angry and knows how to forgive everything. With emotional attachment, a person is more fixated on himself and his desires - he wants the object of his feelings to be always there, to fulfill all his whims and whims.
And in order to achieve this goal, the obsessed with passion does not stop at nothing - he shamelessly invades his personal space, arranges ugly scenes of jealousy, starts surveillance and endlessly demands attention to his own person. Love can develop and grow, but in passion everything remains unchanged and relationships of this type are doomed in advance to destruction - slow or fast, depending on the accompanying circumstances.
How to prevent sympathy from becoming obsessive?
If you notice in your character a tendency to be overly fascinated by unfamiliar people and a quick passionate love for them, and you can say about yourself - “ i am very quickly and strongly attached to people", Then it will not hurt you to familiarize yourself with the following advice from professional psychologists:
And last but not least, love yourself. Learn to respect and love yourself, be proud of who you are - and people will be drawn to you sincerely, and no one will need to be tied either near you or to yourself.
Boys and girls don't know how get rid of attachment to the person and what you really need to do to forget the person. Often people use some ineffective techniques and as a result, they return to attachment and cannot do anything about it.
In this article, psychologists will tell you how to get rid of attachment to a person what and how to do this in order to forget the person once and for all and not be attached to him. After all, getting used to a person happens quickly, and withdrawal, if not strange, is slow enough and not pleasant.
Do a big thing you love
In order to permanently get rid of attachment to a person and not only, you need to find a big favorite business for yourself and do it all your life. This will allow you to remain happy, enjoying every day and not to be attached to anything or anyone else, except for your favorite work. Be a free person and find something in life that you are always ready to do and at the same time not only receive money, but also pleasure and joy.
Chat with other people too
If you are too much attached to a person of the opposite sex, to a friend or girlfriend, then the only way to get rid of and get rid of attachment to a person is to start communicating with many people. When your attention and energy is concentrated on one person, then, accordingly, most of you are in the person to whom you are attached. Having started communicating with a large number of people, you will divide your energy, in parts, which will allow you not to get attached to anyone else, since your energy, thoughts, are scattered to all people, and not to one. Find out:.
Find joy in life
Frequent causal affection there is a lack of happiness and joy. We become attached to those who bring us joy and happiness. To get rid of attachment to a person, find your own joy in life without the help of others, then you will not need anyone to feel happiness and joy. You need to communicate with people, but feeling happiness and joy inside yourself independent of those around you, you will never be upset and suffer.
Find another love
If you are attached to a guy or a girl and you cannot get rid of, then do not do it, keep dating. But if the person does not reciprocate and your feelings do not make sense, then it is worth finding the person who will like you, and he is for you. This will allow you to untie one person and become attached to someone who is attached to you, then your relationship will never fall apart and will last forever.
Learn to relax and meditate
Become more cheerful
You need to start smiling, laughing and enjoying life more often, because it is not eternal. Attachment is due to the fact that you are not able to please and amuse yourself. Learn to do this and then you will get rid of attachment to the person and everything else. After all, everything that is needed for a successful and happy life is stored inside us, in the subconscious. Learn to communicate with yourself and then, you will always be in a good mood and will be attached to yourself and not to others.
But remember, by nature, all people are interconnected by thin threads and tied to each other by strong and powerful ropes of common energy, so there is no point in living alone, communicate, help your neighbor, love, appreciate and respect everyone who surrounds you, then you will notice that, that it is your environment that changes as soon as you change.
psyh- olog. ru
Not everyone's question of how not to get attached to people will immediately arouse understanding. Why is it bad at all? - a logical and natural reaction. After all, it is natural, when meeting with a person, to be attached to him. The opposite is bad - when a person is alone for a long time and does not harbor such feelings for anyone. This is true, therefore, healthy and unhealthy attachments should be separated.
Unhealthy attachment to a person
How not to get too attached to people?
Draw a clear line: if you cannot live a day without an object of affection, if you need to constantly see or hear it, otherwise your mood spoils and anxiety arises, if you forget about work, thinking about it, then your attachment is unhealthy, and with she needs to work.
Consider that overly strong attachment may not be pleasant at all, but, on the contrary, annoying and repulsive. It is not for nothing that they say that the more desperately you chase after someone, the higher the chance that he will slip away from you. And this is no coincidence. By becoming attached to a person, you put him in a situation of responsibility for you, and this deprives him of his freedom and imposes obligations. Many people subconsciously avoid this situation, preferring internally free partners.
So, attention, question! How not to become overly attached to people and become addicted?
Take control not of the object of sighing, but of your feelings of affection. Let's figure out the points, because of what the feeling of attachment becomes excessive, because in order to deal with the problem, it is important to understand its origins. In addition, it will help you better understand yourself and, possibly, solve other internal problems.
Give yourself and people freedom.
Often, overly strong attachment arises from. Think about how you perceive your friends and loved ones? Don't you consider them to be your trophies in some way? Rest assured, no one likes this. Think more about the feelings of others and try to be less emotional about them. It is important to understand that you still will not force me to be with you, and your desire to constantly be around, call, write and remind yourself in every way (even with good intentions) will not always be perceived as you would like. Take time for personal study.
Learn to look at things realistically.
You need to immediately understand and accept that not all relationships are eternal. People meet, end up in different cities and continue to live independently. This is life, and you should not completely dissolve in another person and live only by him. So you doom yourself to serious experiences in the event of a breakup. To build strong relationships, you don't have to dive into them - they will be much stronger if you work on trust and respect for your partner.
Love yourself.
Improving self-esteem will help you avoid becoming addicted. Yes, this does not contradict egocentrism in any way - it goes well with low self-esteem. It is because of low self-esteem that fixation on one person occurs, you try with all your strength to hold on to him, because you do not believe that you can find another, do not even believe that you are worthy of it, and with all your might try to prove it to yourself by surrounding his care and attention, as you yourself think, but in fact only pleasing your ego. The law “Love yourself - and others will love you” works perfectly here, which contradicts the behavior when you “love” a person, leaving him no chance to show love himself.
Take care of yourself.
Find something you like to do. Often it is his absence that becomes the reason for too strong emotional attachment to a person. Do not be attached to one thing, interest should be divided between several objects and subjects, and then it will not be excessive. An unoccupied person, without interests and goals of his own, basically has no choice: as soon as someone in his life appears on whom he can focus, he does it to the maximum, collecting all the accumulated energy.
Communicate more.
Helpful and important, because there are so many people living in the world. And believe me, among them there are those that will be sincerely interesting to you, in addition to the object of sighing, and to which you will become attached with a healthy affection. And this will not only not to the detriment of your relationship, but also significantly strengthen and diversify them.
Work on yourself, develop, direct efforts inwardly, and not on the possession of others.
How to get rid of attachment?
But we have looked rather at the “prevention” of over-attachment, what if you are already attached?
If you yourself even feel that you require excessive attention to yourself, impose yourself, simply start to bore you, and lose a person due to too strong emotional attachment, then exhale first. And then a few more times. It helps to calm down and relax.
Stop totally controlling the object of your affection.
The fear of being betrayed and deceived is inevitable, but remember its unhealthy nature whenever you want to turn on the overseer again. Losing control does not mean expecting deception. Understand that your total control only increases the likelihood of this. People inevitably start to feel weary about them and subconsciously look for a way out of control.
Don't live in the past and don't dream up a rosy future.
Live in the present. Analyze more of what is happening right now and do not miss anything from your own behavior. The first time you have to work hard: at the time of the next attempt to control or impose yourself, listen to common sense, not emotions. Why do you want to call a person in the middle of the night? Let's say you missed it. So enjoy this emotion, get over it, but listen to your mind - your call will be inappropriate if your partner is asleep and, besides, you spoke 2 hours ago.
Figure out what you really want.
Ask yourself a few questions and figure out what you want from your loved one. Be truthful to yourself and answer: to what extent is he himself important to you, and to what extent is his attention? Do you really want to build a long-term relationship with him or is it important for you to be with him for some reason only now? Is your relationship a sincere attachment to each other or your overwhelming control?
If you doubt the answer, then think about your freedom. You are a free person who can go wherever he wants and do what he wants. Are you wisely using your freedom, or perhaps somewhere deep down you want to regain it for yourself? Think that it is not too late to change what gives you discomfort, do not be attached to someone, as if on an invisible rope. By letting go of attachment, you open the door to harmonious and healthy relationships.
Appreciate and love yourself, appreciate and love those around you, do not suppress yours, otherwise then you will begin to unconsciously suppress the desires of other people. Everyone, and first of all you, will only be better if you become internally free. Work on relationships that are not based on control and over-attachment, but on respect, trust, and personal development.
11.09.2013 Tatiana Kaushanskaya 165 comments
A question from a reader: how to get rid of attachment to a person?
The question sounds like this.
“Can you tell me how to emotionally detach from a person (past)? I'm not sure if time heals, because many years have passed, and as a result, only the pictures in front of my eyes have become paler. I am burdened by the past, many complexes have appeared and, as a result, I don’t live a normal life with my boyfriend - I compare, then I remember, I do the devil, but I cannot completely switch my attention to my boyfriend, who is worthy ”.
And there is a continuation of this question:
“The question is different. What if the very determination to forget periodically disappears? In the sense that "why am I bad? Now I am in the gym for a couple of months, I will do a new hairstyle, I will meet" again "in the social network, he will go nuts and will be with me".
It seems that many women have this problem. I don’t know about men, since I’m a woman myself.
And since I went through everything in my life: "fire, water and copper pipes", and I had all possible variants of problems and fears, then naturally, I know firsthand how to solve these problems.
Attachment to a person: how to get rid of?
Dear reader, I want to tell you that time hardly cures psychological addiction. Since psychological dependence is a certain disturbance in the perception of reality.
In other words, we are given the experience of falling in love so that we feel what the Highest Pleasure in life is. That is why it is so difficult for us to psychologically refuse it.
After all, the state of strong love is tantamount to the state of nirvana. And who wants to voluntarily give up nirvana? Moreover, when I have not yet found another way to feel the same (in this case, I have not found it).
So, the algorithm: how to get rid of attachment to a person?
Step one
I recommend starting with the practice of concentrating on the moment here and now. As soon as you feel an inner pull, switch your attention to the present moment. I write about this in many of my articles. Since, this is the main skill of life.
If you learn this one skill only - to shift your attention to the present moment - this alone will help you to cope with all your problems.
Because when you remember something, it means you are in the past. Note, the past does not exist, it exists only in your mind, it is an invention of the mind.
When you think what will happen in 5 years, it means you are in the future, but the future does not exist either, the future exists only in your mind, this is again an invention of the mind.
What is real life? This is when you are mentally here and now, not in the past and not in the future.
By the way, do you know how life in illusions (NOT real life) differs from real life? Notice the word "real" life. This is life in the present moment.
This technique alone will help you to switch your attention from a young man to your real life, which always takes place in the moment here and now.
Step two
As soon as you feel an inner attraction to a young man, ask yourself, what do you really want at this moment? Since attachment is a psychological problem, there is one caveat. It happens that we want one thing, but in fact we satisfy some completely different need of ours, without even realizing it.
When I asked myself this question: what do I really want, my answer was: I am bored, I want to fill my inner emptiness with something. This was proof that I did not want this person at all, that I was filling my inner emptiness with him.
And then I started looking for how to fill my inner emptiness. I started reading books on psychology, spiritual, esoteric, etc.
Just at the moment of strong cravings, start doing what you get high from. Thus, you will satisfy your real desire - to fill the inner emptiness and remove boredom. Or perhaps your need for something else. The craving for a young man at this moment will greatly diminish or go away altogether.
Now I answer the second part of the question. What if you don't want to forget a person?
The fact that you don't want to forget a person is obvious and normal, for the reason that I have already described at the beginning. The state of being in love is tantamount to the state of nirvana.
And this is where the fun begins. It is necessary to realize that we are given challenges of fate in order for us to grow. Such painful situations force us to seek answers to questions, and thus we develop.
This situation is not given to you by chance, but in order for you to learn to LIVE and stop SUFFERING.
And here you have freedom of choice. Either realize this and, despite the fact that you do not want to forget the young man, look for ways to free yourself from this attachment, or continue to suffer. That is, if you are not tired of suffering yet, then you have a choice. And if you are tired of suffering, then you seem to have no choice.
Here, by the way, I would like to add. When you make plans for how a young man will like it again, you break 2 rules of life at once.
First rule. You are resisting the events of your life. Don't accept your life as it is. You need to realize that this situation is not given to you by chance. After all, it was this event (one of many) that prompted you to look for a way out. And in the process of searching for answers to your questions, you change and grow. No matter how painful it hurts you to let go, you will have to let go.
Second rule. You live in an illusion, you don't want to face the truth. The truth is that you have been given this situation in order for you to realize what your need you want to fill with this feeling of falling in love.
I guarantee you that this feeling that you have for this person is negligible compared to what you will feel if you develop personally and spiritually.
Attachment has two sides to the coin. One is the thrill of falling in love, the second is humiliation from attachment. Developing spiritually, we come to such a level of awareness, when you will live exactly this feeling every minute, and at the same time you will not have the second side of the coin - humiliation and suffering. You will feel nirvana naturally.
By the way, it will probably be appropriate here to list the natural and artificial ways to get high.
Natural paths: yoga, meditation, mindfulness. The natural thrill never ends. A conscious person lives a life, every minute of which is filled with buzz.
Artificial paths: love, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs. An artificial high is like a crutch. Sooner or later, it must be dropped. This buzz, as you already know, is not very durable. Behind the high begins even greater dissatisfaction, apathy, attachment and pain.
It would be interesting to know if you had any experience of attachment? If you have any questions, write in the comments.
More than 5 years have passed since I wrote this article. In terms of the number of comments, she broke all the records in my blog. The interest in this article immediately showed me that the topic of attachment is very relevant.
So it's time to continue this topic. Because for 5 years my understanding and awareness of the topic of attachment has deepened significantly.
I suggest watching 2 more videos. I hope these videos help you understand the essence and root of attachment.
In the first video, the phenomenon of attachment is touched upon indirectly, but if you listen carefully (this is the key!), It becomes clear what attachment is and how it arises.
There are many incomprehensible things in the relationship between a man and a woman. Each of us wants to be loved. But how not to become very attached to a man? Sometimes it is difficult to grasp where the line between healthy and already painful attachments ends. Where is love and where is addiction? And in general, in a relationship, you need to get attached to a man quickly or better, keep your distance as long as possible?
How not to get attached too much?
Affection trap
Where love is kindled, there always appear her fellow travelers - dependence and affection. After all, a child is born absolutely dependent on other people, and it is on this basis that his love and affection then develop. It may seem strange, but love, even in relationships with parents, does not always arise immediately.
Love is acceptance of the other with all its merits and demerits. This is the ability to perceive a person as a whole. The child, in the first years of his life, sees the mother only in the best possible light. For him, she is the best, the smartest, the most beautiful, well, in general, the best. He certainly idealizes the parent figure. And only in adolescence does the process begin when idealization leaves and comes in its place. de-idealization... During this period, the teenager sees only one flaws and weaknesses of his parents.
And only after passing this stage does it become possible to accept parents as they are, and it is this acceptance that opens up in a person the ability to mature love.
In a pair, in the same way, a man and a woman will have to come to true love, going through dependence and affection. At the same time, someone successfully solves the tasks set before the soul, and someone gets stuck in the negative.
If the child's need for love has never been satisfied, then in the future, an adult will seek to fill the gap in the relationship. In pursuit of love, a woman does not notice how she falls into her own trap. Being in a long and close relationship with a man, she does not see how, becoming attached to him, she begins to lose herself. It seems to dissolve. Her desires and interests disappear. She subordinates herself and her life to HIM. And not because she loves her very much, but because SHE NEEDS him to love her. She needs to envelop the man in the web of her love so that he cannot go anywhere. She wants to make an invisible cocoon in which there is only HE and SHE.
It often happens that, having lived with a man for many years, a woman suddenly experiences great disappointment. Looking back, she realizes that she gave her best years to her family and husband, but what is the result? He found young and beautiful. The children flew out of the nest. And then a woman faces a difficult task - to find a new meaning in life. How to find what you want to live for? How to find joy and learn to appreciate every moment of life?
You need to understand that you never need to do something. only for the sake of another person. Always ask yourself: "Do I want this?" Sometimes a woman clearly feels and realizes that she does not want something, but there is a word "must" ...
Often you are absolutely sure that you know what you want to do, but only then for some reason disappointment and pain appear.
Feminine nature has a desire to give more than receive. Therefore, she becomes attached faster and stronger. In a relationship, the one who gives more is more attached.
The power of attachment
Why is this happening? Why do you think a person begins to feel love for flowers, trees that he cares for? Why are some of us more attached to animals than to humans? How does attachment arise?
Attachment arises when you put in effort for a long time and constantly, taking care of someone or about something, in one word you put your energy, time and energy. As soon as you begin to give your energy, you become attached to the object to which you are giving a part of yourself.
We love people not for the good they do to us, but for the good that we do for them.The more we invest in relationships, the faster and stronger we bond.
We also become attached when we think a lot about a man. We replay the conversations in our head, his monologues. We think about the reasons for the quarrels and his problems.
Anchors appear when we emotionally react to something. After all, it's not for nothing that they say that if you want to be remembered, hurt the feelings of the interlocutor. And it doesn't matter which ones. Even anger. The person we have pissed off will remember us for a long time.
We also become attached when we care about someone. Cooking, cleaning, washing ... “Have you taken the medicine? Did you make an appointment with a doctor? " If you have recently met a man, do not start caring about him until you are sure that he is actually who you need. Don't get attached too quickly yourself and don't attach someone who may not be your man at all.
We also get attached when we have sex. All excuses of women that they need sex only for health are self-deception. One for health, two ... and then I want it for the soul.
Don't lose yourself in affection
If you think that your to a man prevents you from living, then start giving less of your energy to him and the relationship in general. Don't fill all the space with yourself. Don't deprive your man of the opportunity to do something for you. Thus, you will stimulate the emergence of his feelings for you. Although women, striving for love with all their might, act the other way around - they try to do more for a man and demand less of him. They create simply gorgeous conditions next to them. And then they complain about how comfortable he is with her and how well he settled down. And they feel used and unhappy.
Whether you like it or not, any of us will offend if there is no reciprocity. Especially if we, one-sidedly, put in the effort. Doing something for someone, we, without realizing, wait for gratitude and, not receiving, are offended. And insult, like rust, eats away at a relationship. Taking offense, we emotionally distance ourselves from the person, and at the same time he may feel abandoned and unnecessary, lonely.
Women's grievances, discontent and anger at a man lead to the fact that his affairs begin to get upset, all sorts of troubles begin to happen to him. Of course, a woman is not a monster that sends black forces to a partner, but she is able to influence the joint space. Being next to an offended, disgruntled partner, a man cannot be prosperous and successful. But do not rush to take responsibility for everything that happens. These processes are MUTUAL. The man also contributes to the formation of female discontent.
What conclusion can be drawn from the above? Learn to hear and listen to YOURSELF. Become independent of male love and attention. Do not make the desire to get love, to be loved as the only goal of your life. Then you can be more free in your relationship. You will not be afraid of loneliness.
To be happy with a man, you need to learn to be happy without him, learn to live without him. Fill your life, but leave the place for HIM, just in case. Suddenly, your long-awaited one will come to the light, but do not wait for him, sitting by the window ...
Female and male energies in a relationship
Often a woman, building a relationship with a man, cannot bring herself to do her usual things. Her life before marriage and there are very different. Before marriage, there were girlfriends, joint women's gatherings, trips, sports, a bathhouse, cosmetic procedures. It was not difficult to keep yourself in shape.
And after 2-3 years of living together with a man, all this gradually fades away. It is more and more difficult for a woman to force herself to exercise, to take care of herself. And the man, on the contrary, begins to miss the past. And it turns out that she becomes attached, becomes to some extent dependent, and the man, on the contrary, is burdened by too sticky relationships. This is how the female and male energies behave. It also happens otherwise. The man becomes more childish and the woman more active. This means that the ratio of feminine and masculine energies is violated in union, in the usual sense. In a man, more feminine energy accumulates and he becomes more attached. And a woman, in whom there is more male energy, gets tired of being with a man.
Another reason for women's neglect may also lie in the fact that without a man you NEEDED to look good for HIM. And having found a partner, you relaxed. But it turns out that you did everything not for myself.
If you have order and delicious food prepared, when a man is in the house, and without him mountains of dishes can “decorate” your kitchen for days, how do you feel about yourself? It turns out that the desire to receive the love of a man pushes you to feats, but you are not capable of the same efforts out of love for yourself.
Strong attachment leads to the fact that the woman loses herself ... But this is delusion. She does not lose herself, but, on the contrary, reveals the real SELF. And everything that came before is just a mask, carefully hiding her childish dependent part.
This process is inevitable in a long and serious relationship. However, you need to be aware of which man is next to you. Is it worth getting attached to someone who does not have good human qualities? To someone who, after some time, will lose interest in you and, most importantly, respect?
It's not easy not to lose yourself in a relationship. And this is an inevitable process. In my programs, I teach you not to be afraid to dissolve in a relationship and find yourself real again.
But in order not to lose yourself, you need to feel your inner core, your “I”. Moreover, there may be a rod, but only it is rigid, "metal". And when it breaks, you lose yourself. In this case, you have to form a new rod - strong, but flexible, soft, unbreakable.
Many women told me how, after breaking up, they began to actively advance up the career ladder. Become prosperous.
And what prevented them from doing this, being next to a man - to be successful and realized? Why, for many, marriage becomes a stop in their own development? Why does a wonderful feeling of love turn into a cage for a woman's soul?
We come to Earth in order to hone our two abilities:
Learn to love and be realized in the business for which we were given our abilities; as well as losing and rediscovering yourself in a relationship.
But remember, before you lose yourself, make sure that next to you is a real, your, man. you will find out what kind of YOUR man he is.
How not to lose yourself too quickly and not get attached too much ?
1. Know yourself.
Realize your desires and goals in life. What else do you want besides being with a man? If you forgot, then it's time to remember. If you don't know, it's time to learn. You must see your way of life and feel yourself.
It often happens that a man, realizing or not, takes a woman away from herself and her desires only because her needs do not fit into his picture of life. For example, the husband does not want the woman to work. And when she tells him that it would be interesting for her to work, he begins to argue why it is not necessary to do this: "It is not profitable", "More benefit from you will be at home", "We do not need money", "You are not enough of how much do I give? I will give you even more money ”,“ Come on, we’ll go somewhere to rest, apparently, you’re tired of being at home, you need to change the environment ... ”. And the woman forgets about her desire for a while. This happens several times, and now she completely abandons her aspirations. The journey quickly switches her thoughts - if the child insists on his desire, then he does not need to be denied in a harsh, categorical form, it is enough just to transfer his attention to something else.
An adult, in contrast to a child, constantly keeps his desires and goals in sight.
2. Do not switch quickly to another topic of conversation.
If you have a specific question for a man, and he avoids answering in every possible way, do not lose the thread and purpose of the conversation. Persistently, but gently, return him to the problem of interest to you.
3. Don't make hasty decisions.
Feminine emotionality often pushes you to make hasty promises. And your natural decency will not allow you to later abandon what you have already promised.
4. The most vulnerable female feeling is pity.
A woman can do a lot for a man, not so much out of love as out of pity. And for many years they live like this with their husbands. “But what about? "He will be lost without me."
And how many women out of pity forgive men for rude treatment of themselves. Remember, pity arises only because there is a child hidden deep within you who needs your sympathy. Not finding and not feeling him, you become extremely susceptible to the suffering of a man.
5. Learn to take attention, gifts, care from a man.
Include it in the process of spending - emotions, money, time, care, tenderness ... Do not rush to fill the entire space with yourself. Do not invest at first in a relationship, but rather watch a man. Do not feel obligated to sleep with a beau if he paid for you in a restaurant. And do not seek to pay for yourself. Let a man take care of you.
Having accepted something from a man, do not feel obligated, do not jump for joy, having received one rose as a gift. At the beginning of dating, do not fill the man with your emotions. Do not throw a flurry of your love and unspent tenderness on him. Do not spend financially.
6. Don't fall for pretty words.
Observe the man's actions. Do not get fooled by all these conversations: “I dreamed about you. God himself sent you to me. I don't know why I deserve such a gift. " Be careful. Don't fall into the carefully woven cobwebs of Casanova, who needs you as another trophy. By the way, if you meet Don Juan on your way, then this is perhaps better. Don Juan is at least sincerely interested in a woman. True, he had and will have such hobbies ... in general, you are not the final station on his journey.
Let go of your strong desire to be loved! Don't limit yourself to just having a relationship with a man. Life is diverse, and you came to Earth to learn to love yourself first of all, and only then your loved ones.
Find your purpose in life. Find meaning in many things, as well as lack thereof.
Do you want to find yourself and get rid of your addiction and attachment to a man?Come to me on
With love,
Irina Gavrilova Dempsey