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Why girls don't like shy guys. Qualities of a modest girl. Is there a chance for a modest woman to find her love

An interesting question is, which girls are more liked by young people? You can often hear the opinion that modest girls attract the attention of guys. But in practice, often, a young person is fascinated by completely different qualities. Is it worth striving for modesty in today's world?

Why guys like shy girls

Even in the last century, modesty was considered an undeniable virtue. However, at present, a very modest girl runs the risk of remaining unclaimed both in her personal life and in her profession. The conditions of modern life are such that it is necessary to be able to present yourself in order to please men and colleagues. In this case, excessive tightness can become a serious obstacle.

Young guys rarely pay attention to shy girls who do not stand out from the crowd. However, when it comes to serious relationships and readiness for marriage, a man really evaluates his companion according to several criteria, which include her behavior. In this case, a modest beautiful girl is more likely to become a legal wife.

We can say that the future spouse makes quite practical requirements for the bride:

  • First of all, if the girl is very modest, there will be no family problems associated with jealousy. By its nature, the lady of the heart is not prone to windy behavior and will not provoke her husband to inappropriate actions, flirting with his friends and strangers;
  • As a rule, a modest woman prefers the silence of her apartment to noisy entertainment in nightclubs. From such brides, subsequently, magnificent wives are obtained, capable of creating comfort in the house and feeding the whole family with culinary masterpieces;
  • Another reason that makes modest girls very attractive in the eyes of guys is the lack of interest in shopping. Shyness and modesty will save the family budget, since the future wife will completely manage with a minimum set of wardrobe and will never spend finances on excesses;
  • Virginity is one of the most common arguments why guys like modest girls. Any man is pleased to know that he is the first and only, this significantly increases their self-esteem.

But is it really so?

The innocence of the male sex is amazing. The stereotypes that have developed over the centuries are perceived as unshakable, although everything changes over time. In most cases, all of the above arguments have nothing to do with modesty and can lead to an erroneous opinion when choosing a spouse.

For example, a beautiful girl who does not show coquetry can become the subject of persistent courtship and, accordingly, provoke jealousy. Deprivation of virginity is currently, fortunately, not considered at the level of a crime. It is possible to remain a humble person knowing what sexual intimacy is.

Not necessarily a modest woman will become an excellent housewife. Often, girls of this type prefer to sit all day over a romantic story than to cook pickles.

Clothing is controversial! An independent young woman with a stable income should dress decently.

It is not necessary to spend all your free time shopping. However, the cost of the selected items can sometimes shock the gentleman. Outwardly modest clothes of a girl can be purchased in a well-known boutique, in which, by definition, it is impossible to buy a cheap and vulgar thing.

It is necessary to separate modesty from stiffness. The first quality is characterized by tact, upbringing, the ability to behave in society, the absence of a touch of vulgarity in appearance and habits. The squeezed girl is filled with complexes that make her blush at every male glance, mask her lovely figure with baggy outfits, and refuse to use cosmetics.

It is these individuals who become devoted housewives, quiet and obedient wives. By the way, guys are most often bored of spending time with a girl who is insecure, unable to take the initiative, who does not have a personal opinion and wrings her hands in horror at the slightest hint of intimacy. Usually a young man is interested in the opinion of others about his girlfriend, he is pleased if his friends like her.

For a status person, the excessive modesty of a life partner can be a problem. On duty or social status, such a man is often present at corporate parties or social events. The chosen one, unable to hold a conversation, can seriously harm his reputation.

Is it possible to cultivate modesty in yourself? Psychologists are sure that with due diligence, a persistent person is able to develop almost any quality in himself.

Become a modest girl: how to develop the necessary qualities in yourself

In fact, the set of rules that a shy woman must adhere to is quite simple:

  • If a girl uses obscene expressions in her speech, it is impossible to call her a well-mannered, and even more modest person. However, you can sometimes resort to the emotional manifestation of negative feelings with the help of a mat, but only in the circle of close friends. In a conversation with unfamiliar people, especially men, one should behave culturally.
  • One of the signs of modesty is appearance. Of course, no one calls to disfigure your figure with shapeless skirts and stretched T-shirts. However, it is problematic to become modest, emphasizing the appearance with bright cosmetics and catchy things. You should carefully work out your image, leaving defiant necklines and tight silhouettes for parties.
  • Excessive consumption of alcohol-containing drinks, smoking, causing laughter is also not worth practicing, especially in public places. Negative factors in assessing behavior are hysteria, capriciousness, obsession.
  • The presence of tact is a rare quality that it is desirable to cultivate in oneself. You should not discuss other people's mistakes aloud. It is better to advise a person in private to monitor his behavior.

It is difficult to say whether men like modest girls or not, this is a matter of taste. However, having chosen the image of “your boyfriend” or “broken pullet”, one should not be surprised why young people are in no hurry to show interest.

Do guys like shy girls? This question is of interest to most modest women who are thinking about whether it is worth changing in order to get more male attention. More relaxed young ladies are also interested in this, accustomed to having a blast, but at the same time wondering why they can’t build a more or less serious relationship.

In the last and the century before last, modesty in a woman was exalted to the rank of undeniable virtues. However, today the trends have changed. Many men argue that it is preferable for them to associate life with a girl who is more liberated, bold in her judgments and actions. Is this really true and do guys really dislike modest girls?

Practice shows that men still prefer to have fun, indulge in pleasures and be friends with relaxed female representatives. But families are often built with more modest and meek women. Sometimes a man manages to tame his stubborn soul mate and raise a dignified and noble girl in her. It also happens that a woman herself, seeing the prospect of marriage, begins to change to please her man. Often it is family life that weakens the ardor of girls who in the past did not shy away from alcohol, noisy parties and indiscriminate flirting.

Why is this happening? Why on earth does a man refuse to accept his beloved as she is and try to remake her or choose a shy woman as his wife? To find the answer, you need to list the list of the advantages of the latter. So why do guys like modest women?

1. Modest girls are often very balanced. And men, in turn, only in their youth can claim that they love scandals and violent showdowns. Often they demand submission from women and recognition of their superiority.

2. Shy girls like guys because they are great listeners. They are ready to listen to the stories and complaints of a man for days on end and rarely say anything in defiance. This allows a man to feel more significant, to believe in himself.

3. Shy women are capable of empathy. They have not yet become victims of emancipation and are sincerely worried when a loved one complains of a minor bruise. By the way, many modest women treat guys with maternal warmth and care, which men really appreciate.

4. A mystery lies in modest girls. They do not like to be the center of attention and often keep their opinions to themselves, which causes genuine curiosity among guys who, as you know, respect the presence of mystery in ladies.

5. Girls with a meek disposition rarely claim leadership in the family. They are easily content with what they have and rarely strive to achieve personal or professional heights. Motherhood, caring for her husband and children - these are the main life priorities of a modest woman.

But. There is always a “but” in everything. These qualities of a modest girl always lie on the surface, however, due to their secrecy, it is very difficult for a man to understand what is really on the mind of a modest girl. Rather, he often believes that she is an open book for him, although in practice everything may not be so at all.

Do guys like shy girls? The answer cannot be unequivocal, because the tastes of men in their youth and more mature age can change dramatically. And then, men are often mistaken about modest women, because often those who hide under the guise of good manners and constraint are used to thinking a lot and drawing unexpected conclusions. There is no need to think that a modest woman is not capable of giving a man a surprise.

- Often these women have worldly wisdom and if they understand that life with this man has reached a dead end, they can leave him without explanation.

- Modest women know how to manipulate, and imperceptibly for men.

- Modest women are far from stupid, and the moment will surely come soon when the men living side by side with them will understand this.

1 comment

For centuries, the attitude “Modesty paints a virgin”, instilled in gentle creatures, has ceased to correspond to the truth - “quiet” young ladies often come to this conclusion. Are the shifts in gender relations really so revolutionary that the question of why they do not like modest girls has become acute and requires an urgent restructuring of the traditional education system - the subject of our conversation.

Modest: appearance, habits, consequences

The modest-quiet woman is distinguished by laconicism, restraint, and vulnerability. Plus timidity and mystery. What is bad in this bundle of characteristics? A true man should be flattered by the weakness and vulnerability of his potential half - a knight wants to warm, caress, protect such a woman. She is perfect for the role of a caring wife and ideal mother. But no - not everything, it turns out, is simple.

Modest ones are sounding the alarm: they don’t want their “positive bouquet” - and that’s it. Question-statement “Do guys like modest girls in our liberated time?” on sites-blogs-forums it sounds more insistent and more desperate. Frankly, not without reason. Because the lack of courage often results in complete lack of initiative, and behind the silently mysterious appearance, nothing else can be found.

It is pointless to give a list of the hidden qualities of “silent quiet” that are repulsive to young men (and this is an unwillingness to develop, communication problems, pedantry, and half a dozen other “minus factors”). He is known - although not to all "good fellows" and not at any age. Yes, modest and shy girls are not interesting to teenage guys fixated on the “packaging” side of the girl’s face. True, later these "boyfriends" reconsider their evaluation vector.

For boyfriends at the “hormonal-explosive” stage, the brightness, looseness, accessibility of a girl is more important than her intellectual baggage and human dignity. Moreover, inconspicuous “gray” mice, unlike their brave peers, do not express their sympathies, assessments, desires. The youngsters are not up to solving mysteries - such a girlfriend next to them embarrasses them, preventing them from asserting themselves among friends. It’s too early to think about the family, the victory “here and now” is his main goal.

Clever, but low-key shy girls in the period of growing up are self-confident, uncomplexed "stars of the company" - especially if they are supported by influential and non-poor parents. - not the most successful union for a young (and not so) lady. But sociability and the ability to stand up for oneself with impudence are in no way connected. Everyone needs them - modest mice too.

I like modest girls - the point of view of men

“Men run after the shameless and arrogant, but modest decent women are not particularly favored” - an erroneous opinion, but you cannot refuse him a “share of truth”. A male hunter (and such is his genetic role) in order to catch “game” must first notice it. Sassy ladies are visible from a distance - not to mention that you can't ignore them up close. For a real hunter without an inferiority complex, the thought of acquiring a daring trophy seems flattering.

Here is the chain that leads the hunter-fighters to the eclipsing "mice" girls "with the initiative." There are cases when the trapper himself becomes a victim. But such episodes "do not pull" on the regularity. Socially mature and dreaming of true love and a cozy family nest without “pitfalls”, a man will eventually “behold” the very clever, shy girl who will give him this happiness. Her task is to push him to the right choice.

Do not be born beautiful - "turn on" Pushkareva

From how a modest girl will “give” and behave in a situation where she has decided on the object of love, her fate depends. That the courageous half of humanity prefers to marry persons of the "Katepushkarev" type is not an invention. However, to be shy and shy to the point of being ridiculous, losing the power of speech in the presence of a man is overkill, behavioral excess. Everything else will come in handy. The main thing is to be yourself.

The phenomena of the silent-shy woman, “turning on” the real conqueror, include her inherent fear with a word or phrase to betray her interest in the rapprochement of the first. This factor also inspires the modest guys: although they will not be repelled here, it will be easy to find a common language. And that the potential of the by no means weak "forget-me-nots" is huge, there is no need to prove: "in a still pool" such wealth is laid ...

It turns out that the advantages of domestic modest-touchy are the sea. They are feminine, soft, delicate. They avoid gossip and showdowns with scandals, they know how to keep secrets. Yes, they are inexperienced, constrained, wild, they do not immediately make contact, but how pleasant it is to achieve their favor! Experienced "wise men" are not to be surprised by the described prospects - it remains to arm the tactically girlish-female contingent.

How to get rid of shyness and turn from a moth into a butterfly

There is no need to radically rebuild, forcing yourself and becoming like obsessive vulgar rivals with bitchy manners. But you will have to comprehend the basics of a competent “presentation” of yourself - in order to prevent the guys from shying away, frightened by a strange neighborhood.

  • . Neat nails, clean hair, a hairstyle to your face, an outfit according to the situation, smooth legs - your “successful” set and the ability not to get lost in the crowd.
  • Use cosmetics in moderation. Shading dignity, hiding flaws - this is the purpose of makeup. Turning into the war paint of an Indian, he will cause rejection.
  • Do not overdo it with the skills "keep your head down" and "". You can say little, but to the point, laugh rarely, but on time. Openness is better than closedness.
  • Do not exaggerate the importance of external data. Focus on the inside. They love not for unearthly beauty, but for kindness, sincerity, sensitivity. Cultivate them within yourself.
  • Believe in your attraction. A person is valued by being different from others. You are skinny or “chubby”, your nose is turned up or stretched out - carry yourself proudly.
  • . Excessive correctness, humility and patience can annoy and provoke boorish antics. Don't bring it up.
  • Don't act alone. Show wisdom by connecting useful friends and your talents in crucial moments. An integrated approach will shorten the path to a dream.

Accelerate and take off. You will win.

Ten or fifteen years ago, modesty was considered an unconditional virtue. “Modesty adorns a girl,” they said then, but there were always girls, and men too, who retorted: “When there are no more jewelry.” In the modern world, the opinion has strengthened that modesty, on the contrary, can only interfere with the achievement of one's goals. So is modesty a plus for a girl?

Reasons why guys like modest girls

There is an opinion that a modest and shy girl will make an ideal wife. First of all, the modest woman does not like to attract everyone's attention to herself, thus she will not provoke outbreaks of jealousy in her young man. In addition, it is believed that modest representatives of the fair sex prefer unhurried evenings at home with reading a book and baking a pie to going to a club and noisy gatherings until the morning. A serious young man oriented towards home comfort cannot fail to like this.

Shy women are indifferent to shopping - this rather controversial thesis is put forward by men who find modest girls very attractive. In addition to saving money, which the windy beauty will certainly lower into dresses, shoes, stockings, the shy girl will also devote all her free time to something more useful - study, work, home improvement, finally.

The decisive argument in choosing a life partner, which is made between more and less modest girls, is the fact that often modest women remain virgins for a long time. Thus, it is highly likely that you will be the first and only man with your chosen one, which, of course, cannot but flatter male pride.

Reasons why guys don't like modest girls

Many self-sufficient men are not interested in girls who are overly modest, shy and insecure. Such girls are not able to take the initiative in any matter, and even in those cases when it comes from a man, they only blush, turn pale and turn away. This is especially acute in intimate relationships, at least when they are just beginning.

Often a young man wants not only to be sure that his girlfriend is the best, but also to receive confirmation of this from others. It may be pleasant for a young man to see that attention is paid to his girlfriend, they stop looking at her; and some envy from his own friends really raises his self-esteem. Of course, a catchy and self-confident girl attracts the attention of others to a much greater extent than a modest quiet one.

In fact, there is no single correct answer to the question of which girl is more attractive - modest or relaxed. Each person has their own preferences based on a particular life experience. It is important to remember that all people have a "half" - the same person who is ideal in all respects. It is only important not to miss the moment when you meet this particular person.

Shy girls - what are they? Gray, silent, invisible in the crowd. They lose a lot against the background of chic beauties with bright makeup, who catch the buzz from life.

Are these mice destined to be a lonely old maid with five cats? Or can you see a lovely lady in such a modest woman? And what kind of man is attracted to a modest woman?

Is there a chance for a modest woman to find her love

Why a shy girl sometimes has to wait in the wings

In youth, men need to assert themselves - to be a leader, to achieve more, to win the best. Passions are running high, adrenaline is running high, life is in full swing. And only by the age of thirty, when the guy has played enough, a midlife crisis sets in.

He suddenly realizes many things:

    And where did I run, achieving all this, and what did I actually achieve?

    Did what I used to consider perfection make me happy?

    But am I wasting my nerves and strength on something that is no longer interesting to me?

Likewise with love. Having married the best beauty, she turned out to be like "Meringue": empty inside, moreover, an uninteresting and bad hostess. Therefore, they are already looking for something that would be pleasant for themselves, and not for show. And if he finds that modest woman who has already overcome that nasty complex in herself, but remains a good person, then this union will be harmonious.

By the way, most often it happens that it is the gray simpletons that are most to the taste of the same shy men. But their complex makes it difficult to get acquainted with a shy girl. Do you remember the movie "Where is Nofelet"? There, the main character tries to marry his cousin, introduces him to bright girls, and he is in love with his fellow traveler, a stranger, an unremarkable woman. Here, look:

What a man begins to notice in a modest woman

If a woman has already ceased to defend herself against men and is tired of fighting loneliness, then there will definitely be that knight who will notice her and relieve her of her complexes. He will certainly find all her attractive qualities and will celebrate them with delight:

    How sweetly she blushes and lowers her eyelashes when he asks her uncomfortable questions.

    How embarrassed she is and covers her lips with her hand, holding back from laughing out loud when he jokes.

    What grace in her movements and gestures when she talks about something or does something.

She begins to like him precisely for these little things in behavior. A little later, when a serious relationship is established, the man realizes that he needed this for peace of mind. After all, she does not require much from him, does not like to argue and is used to finding happiness in simple things.

With a man in love with her, the shy woman begins to shed her “gray plumage”. Another plus is that even after getting rid of complexes, such a woman will not betray her lover, and he, in turn, will not want to change anything in his comfortable life.

Stay the way you are

It does not matter that modest girls are not lucky right away. Men really like nice and simple women, they just have to come to this understanding, mature to this. But after all, quick beauties break their hearts over the callousness of narcissistic males.

Finally, an unusual technique

Let's do a thought experiment.

Imagine that you have the superpower to "read" men. Like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man - and you immediately know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You would be able to get any man and have an ideal relationship and would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to your problem.

Who said it's impossible? Of course, you won’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.

We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a PhD in Psychology, and her methodology has helped many girls to have perfect relationships and feel loved.

If interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for our website visitors.