Is it worth it to be ashamed of your body. Body complex: male gaze. Get rid of shyness and enjoy

02.06.2019

Few women do not see flaws in their bodies. According to various statistics, 47 to 90 percent of the fairer sex are dissatisfied with the figure. The author of "Lady Mail.Ru", psychologist-consultant "Sundeev Center" Rodion Chepalov, plastic surgeon Elena Sukhoparova and sexologist and psychoanalyst of the psychological office "On the Patriarchs" Larisa Bedova understand the problem.

“Men are less concerned with beauty,- says Rodion Chepalov. - They have other complexes associated with money, lack of determination, etc. Problems for women arise even in situations when the partner is happy with everything. This happens with perfectionists and maximalists, for whom the opinion of one man is not enough. "

“Emotional and bodily in a woman is interdependent, we can say that the development of a woman's life is the development of corporality, - says Larisa Bedova. - In a man's life there are only a few stages (boy - young man - man - old man), and the woman's life is supplemented by subspecies and has visual evidence. This is growing up and the transition from childhood to girlhood, confirmation of the entry into sex life, pregnancy, childbirth and the first year of a baby's life, when the body does not belong only to her. Shyness, disgust, and shame are fixation on untapped psychological trauma. Among men, recently, dissatisfaction with the size of the penis, as well as the correction of the "flaw", has been actual. Here's another difference: dissatisfied - corrected - satisfied! Women's discontent has a history of the issue. "

What are we complaining about?

Attitude to the body is, first of all, an attitude to the body, taking care of its health, about one's physical well-being, and only after that - worries about how it all looks from the outside. Nobody tells us directly "love your body", attention to it begins to be expressed in habitual actions such as brushing your teeth or exercising in the morning. It is important to understand what specifically worries you - your own discomfort or the response to the comments of others.

“The main points for disorder are the wrong shapes, sizes, lack of symmetry - inconsistency with ideas, - says Rodion Chepalov. - And also moles, scars, skin color, pigmentation, lack of sunburn. "

“The main claims of women are directed to the material-bodily bottom (legs, hips, belly), then with variations: knees, ankles, small breasts, - says Larisa Bedova. - And the leader in terms of requests and claims is still the same excess weight! It is he who is declared the main culprit and enemy of the female body. "

Causes

Understanding nudity has many meanings. On the one hand, without clothes, we can feel lighter and easier, on the other hand, by undressing, we become more vulnerable, including to condemnation. In childhood, we were taught to be afraid and ashamed of our own nudity, and stereotypes from the TV screen and from the pages of "glossy" propagandize "slim women" with ideal figures. To answer the question "why am I ashamed of my body", one must look for one's own, personal, among the common reasons.

“Constant comparisons play a disastrous role. Normally, evaluating your body in comparison to others should not lead to depression. But due to the attitude towards one's body, which was improperly developed in childhood, the opinions of others who criticize because of their bad manners, envy, desire to offend, are taken to heart. Media culture also influences, promoting the idea of \u200b\u200ban ideal body ”, - explains Rodion Chepalov.

“The influence of media culture is enormous! - says Larisa Bedova. - It is she who forms the fashion for bodies and faces. But dissatisfaction with the body is an individual matter; the complex has a personal address, but it is fixed and starts action, relying on situations from the outside. Most problems of this kind arise after the birth of children. This period is problematic from the point of view of corporeality and changes in sensations. "

Effects

Many are afraid to undress not only in front of their partner, but also on the beach or in the pool. Although loving your body is more likely to pay attention to how pleasant it is for you to be in it.

“People are constantly distracted by themselves instead of paying attention to other things, - says Rodion Chepalov. - They refuse to meet only because they consider themselves not ready yet because of the "imperfect" body. In bed, such a woman is either too squeezed and feels uncomfortable, or free, but at the same time is carried away only by herself. "

How to become more confident

It is worth realizing that men value self-confidence, and they will pay attention to your shortcomings precisely if you focus on them. You can, on the contrary, ask your beloved what exactly he likes about your body and ask him to say nice things more often. The ability to properly teach yourself is more important than strengths and weaknesses.

“Taking the opinion of others and drawing conclusions to eliminate shortcomings, it is important to learn and accept the latter:“ I do not have the most beautiful figure, but I do what I can to correct it. At the same time, I will never be a top model and therefore I will not exhaust myself with complex diets and exercises ", - Recommends Rodion Chepalov. - The attitude to one's own shortcomings and advantages must be conscious. Instead of condemnation: “What terrible legs I have! I will not go anywhere until I fix them once and for all. "A more adequate assessment is needed."

"Corrective psychological work can be done with the help of body-oriented psychologists and psychologists working with deep processes", - says Larisa Bedova.

Special exercises

To get started, you can make a list of 10 favorite body parts that you still enjoy. This is already half the battle. The "nudity technique" will also help - you can sleep and walk around the apartment naked, go to the mirror and admire yourself, taking bold poses. You can even dance naked.

“Special exercises are considered to be those that will allow you to return the initial sensations of the body and only then focus on the bodily“ muscle ”joy, - says Larisa Bedova. - It is believed that chronic fatigue syndrome arises as a response to ignoring body prompts. "

Sports and care

You can do both physical and practical self-improvement: yoga, fitness. The emergence of love for your body can be facilitated by caring for it: aromatic creams, lotions, massages, peels. Plus beautiful underwear - sometimes it's worth spending money on it without the thought “it's too expensive”. Not so much for your beloved as for yourself.

"Exercise, diet, hardening are important," - says Rodion Chepalov.

"Among the ways of practical work on oneself - fitness, walks, various types of sports activities",- Recommends Larisa Bedova.

“In a number of cases, complaints about appearance are just fictions, complexes, attempts to find a style, - explains the plastic surgeon Elena Sukhoparova. - Many patients say that they were unhappy with their appearance in their youth and only now realize how far-fetched it was. In principle, youth and health are beautiful in themselves. But the frequency of visits to plastic surgeons is increasing. The patients can be divided into two groups. The first - girls who want to decorate themselves - to correct the shape of the nose, to enlarge the breasts, to make the hips graceful. The second one is women seeking rejuvenating surgeries and wishing to perform body plastic surgery. Undoubtedly, in the first group, the frequency of "artificiality" is higher. In some cases, liposuction or plastic surgery is really indicated, and in some there are other problems that the patient is trying to solve through the correction of deficiencies. The situation is different in the second group. Here, the indications for surgery are in most cases obvious. Age-related changes in the oval of the face, breast due to pregnancy and breastfeeding, body fat - all this can and should be corrected in order to stop being ashamed of appearance and start to like it ”.

What's in the article:

Today Koshechka.ru decided to touch upon an important topic for a long-term relationship: how to overcome yourself and stop being ashamed of a guy. Tightness, stiffness, inability to relax, loosen up and completely trust, open up to a man always interfere.

A guy wants to feel an emotional response and see which actions you like and don't like. You do not need to be ashamed to talk about your feelings all the time, including in the most piquant moments.

Before we talk about how to stop being shy about the guy you are dating, you need to touch on a bit of the reason for this kind of stiffness. They will help you find ways to help, there is no universal recipe that would suit everyone.

About the root causes

It does not happen that a girl or a guy starts to feel shy already in adulthood and conscious age. Increasingly, the reasons are in early childhood, school, adolescence. Comparison with the one who is better, the prohibition of loud yelling during the trip, for example, with mom and dad on the bus - everything that the parents used so that as a little girl you could stop behaving differently "as is customary", brick by brick and laid this wall, which in other situations and for some reason especially alone with a man does not allow you to be liberated.

By the way, sometimes the very memories of past reasons that made you feel embarrassed act like therapy.

What to do?

Of course, the easiest way is to blame the parents, society, whatever, for everything - and ... to withdraw even more. You do not need to feel sorry for yourself, and even more so to tell your young man that you have reasons to be ashamed, they are good, and you are not at all to blame. Not every guy will appreciate this frankness.

There are several ways to stop being shy about a guy who likes, how to prevent a guy from dating you, and right now the site will discuss them with you. Be emotional

Every guy loves to be considered just super-mega-macho. And if during a conversation or even in his presence your knees give way, tell him about your feelings. From such frankness, believe me, he will be delighted. This and his pride will amuse, and in his eyes, yes, yes, will elevate you! After all, a girl who frankly says what she feels seems so charming.

Sign up for group training

Sometimes it happens that you can't even start a relationship. Whatever guy you like, it doesn't go further than secretly falling in love with him. Perhaps you are too shy and constricted. Stretching, yoga, Pilates, dancing classes will help you to relax.

By the way, physical activity helps to keep the figure in good condition. It is worth signing up for the gym, and maybe even for classes with a personal trainer, for those girls who do not like their own body. No guy will love you until you love yourself.A simple truth that many dismiss as an annoying fly, but overall it works so hard that it’s a real crime to ignore it.

Yes, by the way, this is an interesting fact, but a girl's self-esteem is influenced not only by how she perceives herself, but also how others perceive her.

Personal care

This is a prerequisite indicating that you love yourself. You shouldn't skimp on your beauty. Manicure, pedicure, neat hairstyle, and maybe even a radical change of image will help you see that you are attractive. Although many people think that they will be even more embarrassed if all attention is riveted to them, and therefore they do not risk choosing bold and extravagant hairstyles, bright makeup or stylish clothes. Can I tell you a secret? All of this is optional.

If you do a neat manicure with a pastel shade of varnish, and do not flaunt with bite nails (which you really should be ashamed of), or do a natural coloring, for example, balayage, trim split ends, then you will not surprise others and undue attention.

Initiative

How to stop being ashamed of your body in front of a guy if you have already started dating him, but intimacy does not allow you to relax. The guy feels constricted, sees that you are hiding your body in every possible way and you do not love him yourself. Begins to get bored, to look to the side.

Show initiative when you yourself want intimacy with him, and you will see that the guy will appreciate it. Of course, sometimes shyness arises from the onset of intimacy too early. It is better to wait a little longer so that he becomes so close and dear to you that you do not even think to be ashamed of him.

However, in order to meet for a long time and develop a relationship to a family one, you need to stop being shy not just in bed, but also in communication. The more you are frank, the less you are fixated on your fears, the more you show interest in him, but you also don’t forget about your hobbies, the more interesting you will become. And even a slight embarrassment will become the highlight that he will fall in love with!

Many women seem confident when they look stylish. The only pity is that their confidence only appears when they have a layer of makeup on them. Sooner or later, a woman is forced to face her body alone. If the reason for the embarrassment is objective, then you can fight it. You can get a gorgeous haircut, whiten your teeth, get a manicure, visit a solarium and a gym. If you start eating right, sometimes giving free rein to desires, the figure will begin to delight the woman. But before that you need to love yourself and your body.

Every woman is shy about something

Not always a woman can say that she has never been shy about anything, it is rare when a woman is simply happy with her body and appearance. Usually any woman or girl is worried about any trifle in her appearance. Such a trifle can be insignificant, or it can drive anyone into the paint.

Someone does not like their unruly hair, someone has a too pale face, someone is embarrassed by small breasts. One thing can save a woman - the beloved man is nearby. But even this becomes insufficient over time. We know how to stop being ashamed of your body - you need to love it first!

Note! The main reason for embarrassment lies in the fact that a woman constantly thinks about shortcomings, which are supposedly very striking. It is worth understanding why we feel that our shortcomings are so noticeable.

The reason for our thoughts

The restraint of the body is mainly due to its nakedness. But what is nudity? Without clothes, a person feels at ease and natural, but on the other hand, being naked makes us vulnerable. At such moments, any condemnation becomes a sentence. Many were taught in childhood that nudity is vulgar, that they need to be ashamed of it. In adulthood, another reason for embarrassment has been added - the pages of popular magazines. But everyone may have their own personal reason for embarrassment, and it needs to be found.

A few simple steps

Try to get rid of the shortcomings:

start to devote more time to yourself and your body;
do a few exercises in the morning, because a couple of times it is not so difficult to sit down or do "scissors" in bed;
those with more willpower can join the gym. For example, there are many areas of fitness;
a contrast shower is good in the fight against cellulite, as it enhances blood circulation. Massage cups have the same effect;
when going to the beach to sunbathe, you can use creams and oils with a radiant effect, this will help hide minor problems such as stretch marks or age spots.
Experiment with creams, many of them smell so charming that a man will not notice some of the flaws, because he will enjoy your scent.

If you can't cope with the shortcomings, then you should resort to tricks. Listen to recommendations on how to stop being shy about your body with accessories and clothing. It's easy. You need to focus on what seems attractive to you. All eyes should be on your merits:

arrows are ideal for long eyelashes;
plump lips can be decorated with bright scarlet lipstick;
a slender neck can be framed with a beautiful pendant;
with long legs, you can afford stockings or boots;
use clothes like "corset", it will perfectly accentuate the chest;
a deep neckline will be useful in combination with a beautiful breast;
Very often things that you like do not fit the figure. It is worth overcoming yourself and choosing something that emphasizes the figure, and does not disfigure it.

And the simplest advice is to stop thinking about the shortcomings! Think about the number of men you attract. Remember the envious words of your friends about your body. And remember, you know your flaw and others don't! Therefore, it makes no sense for many to look for them in you. Most likely, people will see your beautiful external data, than they will begin to analyze what you are hiding.

Love your body, and the recognition of others will come very soon!

Tragedy does not occur with the artist or the train driver, but in the mind of the artist or the train driver.
Victor Pelevin, "Chapaev and Emptiness"

What is the essence of the problem

In human society, there is a subconsciously perceived standard of beauty, which is possibly associated with evolutionary advantage. The symmetry of the face and body speaks of good genes and health in general, large eyes and children's facial features evoke sympathy due to parental instinct, a certain ratio of hips and waist in women shows the ability to bear and give birth to healthy offspring. So the problem is attracting a partner? Here is what psychologist Oleg Ivanov says about this.

Often lonely people are unhappy with their appearance. And in this they most often see the reason for failure on the personal front. Unfortunately, these are the most common and most misleading judgments. We forget the simple truth: attraction is illusory.

Oleg Ivanov, psychologist, conflictologist, head of the Center for Settlement of Social Conflicts

There are many ugly people around, and they live happily, fall in love, create families and give birth to children. Moreover, in the modern world, a sense of humor, care, understanding and common interests can be much more than a symmetrical face and big eyes.

Appearance matters when looking for a partner, but does not determine success. Perhaps it's not a matter of finding a mate, but a fear of social disapproval.

We are embarrassed because we are afraid of negative statements about ourselves from others, relatives, colleagues. In this case, any, even the most innocent injection from the side causes resentment and tears. And this is due to low self-esteem and picky about oneself.
Oleg Ivanov, psychologist

Understand that the thought that you are ugly is just a thought. Let it arise from day to day and already feel like the truth. The problem is not your figure, the shape of your face or the structure of your legs, the problem is that thought, and it is with it that you need to fight.

We will show you a way to change your attitude towards yourself, broken down into several stages. Each stage takes about a week, but if you feel that you have not made much progress in the allotted time, then spend as much as necessary in one stage.

How to solve a problem

1. Become aware of it

Usually people consider their shortcomings obvious, but at the same time their behavior is not entirely conscious. This week is dedicated to realizing negative thoughts about your body.

Go to the mirror, look at your reflection, and note the negative thoughts about your appearance that arise in your head. Also pay attention to non-verbal habits that reflect shame for your body and that you unknowingly repeat from day to day: pull in your stomach, lower your shoulders to appear lower, or remove your cheeks before taking a photo.

Notice thoughts that come up, for example, when you start comparing yourself to other people, forbid yourself to wear what you like or eat what you want. You can memorize thoughts or write them down in a notebook.

This is only preparation for the real work, but it is important. To solve a problem, you must first fully understand it.

Whenever an offensive thought about your appearance comes to mind, ask yourself if you could tell your best friend or child? This exercise will help you understand how cruel you are to yourself.

2. Change your mental patterns to neutral

It's hard to change your mind abruptly from "I'm terribly ugly" to "I'm beautiful." If you've hated your body for a long time and are used to scolding yourself, try to be neutral first. For example, instead of “I look fat in this dress” or “I’m a terrible shit,” you might say, “I don’t feel confident in this dress.”

At this time, do not participate in any conversations regarding the discussion of appearance - yours or someone else's. If everyone in the company starts talking about how they want to lose weight, gain weight, have plastic surgery, just do not participate or try to change the subject.

Often the problem lies not in ourselves, but in the people around us. Toxic relationships with loved ones who like to point out flaws in the figure at every meeting, as it were, are painful. Try to at least temporarily minimize such communication, until you learn to calmly respond to unpleasant statements addressed to you.
Oleg Ivanov, psychologist

You can replace negative thoughts about your appearance with positive thoughts about other qualities. For example, if you are not yet ready to say: "I look great", you can replace the negative thought with "I draw well", "I can listen to people", "It is pleasant to communicate with me."

Focus on your successes, not your failures. Praise yourself for your accomplishments at work, for your newly signed contract, for your successful negotiations. It may be difficult and difficult at first to pull yourself out of the “worthless person” state. But gradually it will become a habit, self-confidence will be added.
Oleg Ivanov, psychologist

Stay at this stage until you feel that you have stopped automatically judging people by their appearance and caustically commenting on their appearance.

3. Change neutral thoughts to positive ones.

When you have already realized that you are a wonderful person, and have stopped condemning yourself for your appearance flaws, it's time to admit that these are not flaws. Compliment yourself every time you look in the mirror or take a selfie. Praise yourself for everything that seems beautiful to you, and in the end you will see that beauty.

Complimenting yourself is like buying new glasses. At first they feel strange, but then you get used to it and generally stop noticing them.

An interesting feature: even the ugliest person by general standards will seem wonderful to you if you love him. This also works for oneself. Moreover, other people are very sensitive to such changes. We subconsciously read the self-feeling of the interlocutor, happily communicate with those who are, and avoid those who are withdrawn and secretly hate themselves.
Therefore, by changing the attitude towards yourself, you will change the attitude of other people towards you.

Work not on the body, but on happiness.

If you are happy, you look and feel great. This is noticed by all the people around. Therefore, you do not need to work on your body, work on becoming happy.

The most common advice could be given to people who are ashamed of their appearance: accept yourself as you are. But I will not do that. If a person is dissatisfied with his appearance, then he is dissatisfied with his life, therefore, the way of life needs to be changed.
Oleg Ivanov, psychologist

Go to the gym if it makes you happy and enjoyable. Study Effects of exercise interventions on body image: a meta-analysis 2009 proved that exercising improves body awareness. Even if you do not have external results (and they will not come immediately), after a few workouts you will like your body more.

Go to workouts that you enjoy, make you feel better, and don't be afraid: you can start exercising.

Try to exclude from your life anything that upsets you, makes you angry, or depresses you. If you don't like work, leave it. Work takes half your life, and you can always find something better, if not in terms of salary, then certainly in terms of peace of mind and pleasure.

Get away from people who are bored with you, who don't appreciate and understand you. Among millions, you will definitely find real friends with whom you want to share your life.

You are beautiful when you are happy. Work on it.

In this article, we'll talk about the modesty that spoils moments of intimacy with a man. So, the problem is "I'm ashamed during the process" and how to stop being ashamed of a man in bed.

After all, how: there are shy girls, cute and sexy, and there are shy girls who behave like a gray mouse, even in bed.

Among hundreds of options, a man will choose not an overly modest and not overly liberated girl, but a normal girl.

But everything is relative: what if he was asked to choose between two extremes - a very modest girl and a very cheeky - what would it be?

And here a very interesting thing begins: most men would really prefer more modest girls, but with the proviso that this modesty should not be in bed. Because modest, constricted, inept behavior during intimacy on the part of the girl spoils the pleasure of both.

At the same time, do not forget that there is a certain percentage of men (due to their temperament or psychological reasons and problems) who, on the contrary, like both virgins and modest behavior in bed. But we, as always, will talk about the majority.

By the way, overly modest behavior in bed very often gives rise to the error that we have already mentioned:.

A squeezed girl who is shy in bed is:

a girl who is ashamed of her body. She does not agree to intimacy in the light, and if she agrees, then under the covers or asks the man not to look at her.

a girl who constantly belittles her dignity. She constantly complains that she looks bad and, in response to compliments, denies her attractiveness and points out her flaws.

a girl who, due to fear or embarrassment, not only does not know how to handle a man's body, but is also ashamed to ask a man what he likes. And all the more hesitates to change something in his behavior.

How to stop being shy in bed?

How not to be shy during intimacy? We'll have to work on ourselves a little. Someone's head, someone's body. Someone - both. We work in 4 directions:

1. Stop pointing out our shortcomings

First you need to understand something. Never, NEVER point out your shortcomings to a man. Some girls know how to do it very competently and to the point, but the overwhelming majority of girls achieve only that the man begins to really pay attention to these shortcomings, and the girl gradually loses points of attractiveness in men's eyes.

If a girl constantly, over and over again, belittles herself and her attractiveness, the man will begin to think that he, apparently, was mistaken and in fact the girl is not as good as he thought.

Confidence in yourself and your body (even if this confidence is exaggerated) is better than derogatory conversations in your address and a plaintive eye.

And the purpose of this event is not only to prevent a man from once looking at you with different eyes, but also that by saying such things out loud during intimacy, you strengthen an unhelpful habit and, as it were, "anchor", firmly tie the bed in your head and its disadvantages. Do not do it this way.

And one more important tip: learn to trust your man ... If he says that you are beautiful, accept this as an immutable truth. If he says that you have a great figure, then you are. If he says he likes the way you do something, just believe it and try to enjoy the fact that you are pleasing to the man.

2. Increasing self-confidence through real action

Now for the most common root of the problem of tightness in bed: dissatisfaction with their appearance. You have to work on your appearance, girls, if it doesn't suit you.

I'm not a fan of advice a la "love your body, no matter how it looks!". After listening to such advice, the girls in the body are painfully trying to make a revolution in their heads and fall in love with their jelly-like shapes and folds of fat. Seriously? Does anyone seriously think that this is the way out?

Not. This is an unhealthy path, because it creates a kind of cognitive dissonance in the head: a girl simultaneously hates her fat, envying slender girls, and at the same time tries to love it. Such things are harmful to the psyche.

A healthy path that really brings results and confidence is to exercise and redefine your diet or even your lifestyle.

And so in everything: you don't like fat - get rid of it, you don't like yellow teeth - take care of them, you don't like acne on your face - find the reason and get rid of it.

Yes, for this you need to work on yourself, and sometimes even spend money. But the goal is worth it.

Isn't it better to be confident in yourself, because you really look good, and not because you have been telling yourself a hundred evenings in a row fifty times: “I like my body, I love my body ...”?

But this is about grease, acne, yellow teeth, the smell of sweat and excess hair.

If you are worried about your features, which you yourself have dubbed disadvantages ("the chest is not big enough", "the legs are not long enough", "the nose is somehow unerotic" ...) - return to the advice " believe your man ". If he says what he likes, then he likes it. All. We drive the resisting cockroaches out of our heads.

3. Learning what we don't know how to do

Many girls are shy in bed for the simple reason that they do not know what to do with the male body. It's so ... different, strange ...

Girls. Once upon a time you did not know how to cook. And the ability to cook did not come down to your head by itself. You studied. At first, most likely, it did not work out very well, but then you will lick your fingers.

And whatever you take from ordinary life skills - you learned it. So, literate (insane) behavior in bed can also be learned. And this SHOULD be learned, because in itself such a skill goes down into the heads of very few people.

There may be a delusion in your head that all the girls in the world can do this, but you alone cannot. Only this is not so at all) You would know how many men complain about the tightness of their girls ... You would know how many cheating occurs for the simple reason that everything in bed is too lean, awkward, clumsy, that there is no pleasure ...

And here it is important to understand one simple thing. Self-confidence in a situation is not something that is either given or not given to a person. Self-confidence is easy understanding that you are good at a certain situation .

And this understanding (read confidence) comes when you have a very successful experience behind you in a certain situation. So it is with the "bed situation": if you once see that you manage to give a man real pleasure without crookedness, the second time you see the same thing, then confidence in yourself and in the correctness of your actions will INevitably come.

How do you know what is right?

"And how can I understand which actions are correct, I don't know anything and I don't know how?" - you ask. And there are two ways to understand which actions are exactly correct.

The first way is the path of personal experimentation (long) - this is when you yourself gradually begin to invent something and do something that you have not done before, constantly asking the man for feedback.
The second way is a way of learning from those who know what is right (fast and most effective) is when you go through training and gradually build new knowledge and skills into your intimate life.

Therefore, as for not knowing how to behave with a man in bed and what to do there, everything is simple here: you need, firstly, to read books / watch relevant films / undergo concentrated training, and secondly, transfer knowledge in his bed, at the same time asking the man if he likes it.

There is nothing wrong with that, the man will be happy to give you feedback. And you will want to give you even more pleasure for these efforts)

Start small, and your experience and skills in bed will grow like a snowball) And after several comprehensively successful (not disappointing) times, you will see how much happier your man has become, how much more you like the process yourself and how incomparably more confident you are. become.

Knowledge of this kind will not fall into your head by itself. How many books have you studied on this topic? None? And there are hundreds and hundreds of them, just to get rid of tightness, develop the ability to enjoy yourself and your man. Just select thatwhat seems interesting and start exploring - alone or with a partner!

During my marriage, I took as many as three courses on intimate interactions and read several books. Well, if you can call it "read", there are more pictures))

The first time is somehow awkward, yes, but then you get involved very much, and you are already looking forward to trying new tricks (although after each training you think, "Well, now I know everything!")

Well, as you understand, uncertainty and embarrassment in bed with us now is absolute zero. Although at first, of course, it was present on my part. Therefore - don't reinvent the wheel, learn from those who already know how, practice - and the embarrassment will quickly go away.

And if you understand that you feel embarrassed not only in bed and you, in principle, do not feel sexy - start with a master class. "How to wake up a gorgeous woman in yourself".

4. Solving psychological problems

It should be added that sometimes embarrassment in bed is not due to self-doubt, but due to deep fear and other psychological problems that come from negative experiences in the past. Moreover, although not the majority, but a respectable percentage of girls have such problems.

Unfortunately, one article cannot solve these problems. But it is necessary to solve them, otherwise you will suffer all your life. And to decide with a competent professional.

Therefore, if you feel that you are not ashamed of your body either, and you seem to be able to do everything, but some abomination in your head does not allow you to relax and still this feeling "I am ashamed during intimacy" remains - seek the help of a good psychologist.

By speaking and working through that blackness from the past that does not allow you to feel safe and turn off your head, you will become much happier and learn to have fun not only in bed, but in life in general.

If in the past you did not have any tin (no one bothered, your parents set a good example ...), and your self-doubt comes from a banal teenage past (you were not a popular girl, the boys did not pay attention, someone laughed ...), then you can do without psychologists.